THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBURG, PA. EARLY FRIENDS. " "4jh- I mt wan on tht mountain T As the nun was ilr.klun low. When nlKht eeme3 lop.th to hasten Ani tlie (lay unwilling to K Alone or. the wild, wMp mountain, We two, with the worll below, And the love that marks true manhed For a moment forth did show. No mreintnitli'w won! wm uttwed. We met with the closp of hands; Then earn n his way departed, . And thus the story stands Away from man's narrow limits, :i Alon?, yet tijd'i cwn hfart Throlilx-d as we knew acti otter, As men, .mi then did part. New York Busk IRIS AUiNTlE. '. "Rut you're tint In earnest?" I said. 'Certainly I am," replied Bob, and his face corroborated his assertion. , "Good heavens!" I exclaimed. "Where's the objection!" he began. In an Injured tone. "Because It's not conventional, because It's contrary to custom? That's conventionality's fault, not mine. Look here, Reggie, throw precedent and sneaking sentimental ism to the winds and look the thing straight lu the face and then point out the harm. Iris Maypel U an angel, w Will assume." "Agreed," I said, enthusiastically. 1 "Oh, we all know you're gone on her," he replied, snappishly. "Go on," I said. "Well, if Iris is an angel " "Good heavensl" I Interrupted again. "That's Just the point. 'If should not enter Into the argument. It never does, in fact, where there's real love. That's the sure signal of affection. Elimin ate the affection and In creeps the 'if.' " "You're young Reggie," replied Bob. In a tone that made my lip curl. 'We will return to our hypothesis. If IrU la an angel which at present I am in clined to allow and If she is expect ing me to put the marriage question Vhlch I feel positive is a fact where Is the harm if you go to a private de tective to Norton Scrubbs, to wit and say, 'I want to know the ups and downs of Miss Iris Maypel; here's my money, report as soon as possible?' .Where's the harm? In a few days I know all about the lovely Iris from the world's standpoint, my own con victions confirmed beyond question in the future. Sure of the quality of my game, I load and fire, and at my feet falls the young and lovely Iris." "And if the detective report Is not to your liking?" "Ah, that's where the gain comes in. I am saved a life-long disaster. There are fools who aver that marriage is a lottery. Bosh! Built on a commercial basis it's as Bure a thing as exists. Start .without any bad debts without any misunderstandings, fallacies, precon ceived embellishments which never ex isted but in your imagination, and there's lifelong happiness to draw from as you require. Where, I repeat, is the barm of inquiry?" I was too disgusted to reply, so plead ed an engagement and left him. Bob Pallant was my friend, and I doubt if I could have swallowed hla Impertinent suggestion had it referred to a stranger, but when Iris, the pretty, soft-voiced, Uowny-cheeked, innocent eyed Iris was concerned my stomach absolutely refused. For I adored Iris Maypel, ami that she should be sub jected to such an insult as Bob pro posed made me simmer. For it was an insult this prying into her spent life, even if Iris were conscious of the liberty. Moreover, I had read of how these private Inquiry agents would pry even around the domestic hearth, and could by mistake or intent throw such lurid light upon a little error as to make it njipear ghastly and ter rible. "Her inocence alone should protect her from such duplicity," I argued aa I walked. "To attack such guileless rusticity wlMi the subtleties of urban resource wa blackguardly in the ex trome. Even Iris' maternal aunt, who had piloted her through her first Lon don season with creditable care and watchfulness, would hardly be alert to Bob's unpriin ii)l-d suggestion. I wished, us t went my way, that one of Iris' broth'-: s would suddenly pre sent himself. i'i' I felt equal to prov ing m.v friendship to Bob by disclosing his intention ere he could perpetrate it. But, after all I knew, Iris was brother less. I had never managed to elicit much Information of her people beyond the simple fact that they lived In the country; certainly that huge, rambling mansion b'tried In the recesses of a well-timbered park from which there Issued In the morning gay squires and fair ladles in full hunting rig, and where, at night, love's soft cooing was echoed by the woodland doves and the roar of a hunting chorus was mocked at by the owls, could not have been al together a mental aberration, though who put it all into my head, if not Irla or her auntie, I could not recall. I purposely avoided Bob'B rooms for a week. I knew I should only insult him if I went, and I was loath to do mat. Besides, upon reflection, a little brightness broke through the mist. If Norton Scrubbs made a mistake and either by acci'U-Lt or design suppuea Bob with a report of Iris' character and upbringing, libellous and untrue, Bob would throw no v.e sponge, and then All along It had been patent, to me, at least, tlikt Iri3' preference for Bob was the result of chance. She had met him an hour before I was Introduced and Bob had ::vue the running. He had had the strut cf me and I was not quite good :i.-ri,'a to overhaul him. But what pn'nitunitles for me was of fered by aa udvcruo report from Nor ton Scrubbs! I would never submit my darling to such aa Indignity. 1 would never In the mid it of my reverie in walk ed Bob. "Congratulate me, Reggie," he smil ed. "Eh? You're you're engaged, do you say?" "As good as. I've got Scrubbs' re port. Here it is. 'Iris Maypel, of Maypel Court, in the County of Blank blilre, only child and heiress of Alex ander Thomas Maypel, J. P." He looked up suddenly from the pa per. "1 verified name and address in the county register," he said. "Anything more?" I asked. "Oh, yes, lots. I'll give you pertin ent extracts. 'Born, May, 1875.' She's younger than I thought, Reggie." "She doesn't look her age," I retort ed. Bob grunted and continued: "Family renowned for rectitude of purpose, moral severity, generosity and mercifulness." "1 could have told you that," 1 Inter rupted. "Iris carries all thnt, and more, lu her face. "Go on!" " 'The ladles noted for their endur ing beauty, innocence of mind and splendid physique. The Maypels came over with William of Normandy and are hence of Norman extraction; their "That's enough!" I Interrupted an grily. "Why will you continue to in sult the girl you pretend to love." Bob laughed light hcartedly. "Confound your Impudence and your Inhospitallty!" he said. "Haven't you some whiRkey or something to pledge me with, Reggie?" I found him liquor, and he drank, but mine stood untasted, though I did, in a feeble way, wish him everything he desired. My recent hope, quashed so soon after birth, left me limp. "By the bye," I remarked, presently, :"you take Scrubbs' report; for gospel 1 notice. You don't question his er veracity?" Bob laughed merrily. "Question the accuracy of Norton Scrubbs! Doubt the written word ol the smartest man In his profession! No, my boy, only an Idiot would do that. Why, even the bar acts upon it, sometimes. Besides, look at his bill of costs. Fare to Maypel Court, first return 3 18s. Lodging and board at hostelry lu the vicinity of the Court, together with tips for information and 80 forth 3 48. What do those itemi mean?" "Oh,, I suppose It's all right," I re plied. "I don't doubt that one of the hounds has followed the scent but it's amazing to me that you can be satis fied with the report of any third person and yet be incredulous of your own eyes." "Now, look here, old man," said Bob, with a paternal flourish, "what's mine can't be yours where a wife is con cerned at all events; so make up your inlnd to the lnveitable, and it you must love Iris Maypel learn to love her as a sister, though there's greater security both for you and me, to say nothing of our friendship, if you drop loving her at all." He left me to ponder over his well meaning hint and I was vainly en deavoring to perceive the truth in it when a letter from Iris was handed in. The first few lines led up to this: "Why have you deserted us so long, Mr. Cllve? Failing to meet you at any social gathering where you are usually to be found we quite expected you to call. I have, with great difficulty, dis suaded dear autnie from the belief that I have offended you. Will you not come and assert my Innocence? Dear auntie's box for Wednesday's 'first night' Is not filled, and if you will hon or us by helping to nil it dear auntie will be really delighted as also yours, etc. "P. S. Kindly drop us a line to-day. If you have the inclination to bring your answer, auntie will be at home as also yours, etc.". I read the lines and then endeavored to read between them. Iris had never before approached me In so Intimate a mood In fact, I had been shown to comprehension more than once that Bob's friend was not necessarily upon the same family footing as Bob. And as for the auntie certainly her cold civility had often impressed me, but I had never flattered myself that she would have concerned herself If Iris . had ofTended, ay, insulted me a dozen times a week. However, I quickly resolved upon ac tion. I would call upon Iris, and if things looked favorable I would prom ise myself for the Wednesday, if not, I could easily invent an excuse. The fact Is, Hope, so recently evap orated, condensed again, and I drank it with avidity. I fancied there was a smile on the man's face when he opened the door of the pretty flat in St. James', and said: "Miss Maypel is in the conservatory, sir, and expecting you." The man's smirk spoilt what else would have been my record heart-leap. Stilt, it looked hopeful that Iris was waiting for me in a place I knew from observation her aunt did not frequent. The man left mo hurriedly at the door, and I walked around the con servatory twice and peeped behind every available, refuge there were giant palms and no loss giant screens In plenty but Iris was not there. I stood perplexed, wondering If there were any connection between Iris' ab sence and that ugly serving-man's smirk. But suddenly I heard a voice, at first faintly, and then most dis tinctly. "Don't you be a fool," it Bald. "You'll get your money, rl?ht enough, if you wait. Only let me run alone. I've got my head screwed on right, I can assure you. If you Interfere you'll suffer for it, that's all." It was Iris' voice! "But, my dear " There was the thin, piping voice of her aunt. "Don't but at me!" interrupted Iris, angrily. "Bob Pallant is off, I tell you, and all your arguments won't bring him on again. Little Reggie Cllve's my man now." I shank within myself. At the mo ment Iris spoke my own name they had entered the conservatory, and I had aranged myself for a formidable sneeze with which to announce my presence. But the end of Iris' sentence broke off my sneeze Into a mere sigh, and before I could rearrange myself for the effort they were speaking again, and I was uncertain whether it waa best to boldly face them or to wait be hind the screen on the chance that they would soon clear out. "I supposu I must tell you the whole tale," IrU continued, peevishly, "though sonio things are best kept to oneself. Bob Pallant has made an eg regious ass or nimscir." "Good gracious! How?" breathless ly exclaimed auntie. "Applied to Cousin Norton for my ennracter anu antecedents. "Well!" ' i "Of course, Norton humbugged him right enough, told pretty lies about mo, and planted me and my family in a fairly respectable county position, but " "Doesn't that suit you?" interrupt ed auntie. "No, you old fool. Do you think I'm olng to marry a mnn who has betn humbugged like that?" "You're unusually tender about a Ut tlo Imposition." "Thank you, thst w!!l do. 1 didn't pick up a chnperon and pay her hand somely to stand auntie to ine for a sea son and introduce me to society to be bullied by her In earnest. There are no men to hear us now, remember. I'm not a kid. I've ceased to blubber, and I won't be whipped. Can't you see that If I marry Bob Pallant after this, my chance of pleasure to say nothing of your chance of your fee wouldn't be worth a week's notice? He would Jolly soon undeceive himself, and then" "You wouldn't be to blame. You didn't deceive hlra." "No, but Norton Scrubbs did, and It would ruin his reputation and close bis purse to me forever. Norton has al ready given me to understand as much and advised me to understand as much and advised me to take on Reggie Cllve. But there, you haven't any sense." What an awakening! How 1 men tally cursed myself! How I mentally cursed Bob for having married hi! innocent-lipped, downy-cheeked, dove eyed Iris right away without inquiry, and so spared me the agonizing pre dicament I was In. How I cursed like wise mentally Norton Scrubbs and all his kith nnd kin. And nil that mental Imprecation came out through my pores until drops of sweat fell soft and silent upon the lorn petals of a dying chrysanthemum. But I had suffered in silence long enough. Scene or no scene, scandal slander, or what not. I cared not; J was callous to them all. I would ro veal my hideous presence. The revealing was done for me. That smirking servant appeared and an nounced in a sepulchral voice that Mr. Cllve had arrived. There was a little flutter at the an nouncement and I heard a fleeting foot step that betokened auntie's departure, for it was Iris who replied: "Very well, Adams, show him in." "I have already shown him Ifl Miss Iris," stammered the man. "Didn't I tell you to show him here to the conservatory?" said Iris, se Terely. "And so I did. Miss Iris. I brought him here several minutes ago, and 1 have been searching for you ever since to tell you so." I stepped from behind the screen Just in time to witness the full comedy ol the moment. Iris was a spectacle to behold! She baffled all description. Amazement mingled with fear, shame, guilt, horror, rage, indignation, and a number of other symptoms peculiar to such a nervous shock. I walked to where she still sat, too paralyzed to move. "Miss Maypel," I said, "I have over heard your conversation, and I know you will call me a coward and an eaves dropper; but my conscience is innocent: 1 was put here by your man, and you had already committed yourself before I could warn you of my presence, so I waited in the hope that you would leave me before discovering me." She made no reply, so I gladly walk ed from the conservatory and the house. I went home and tried to see the end of the business. What attitude would Iris adopt when Bob, in the flushing pride of Norton Scrubbs' report, pro posed marriage to her? I gave up the conundrum when, far into the night, 1 had failed to solve it. I went down to the oltib the follow ing day resolved to tell Bob all when his familiar face wearing anything but his familiar expression looked in. He came stralpht ncross to me, and without any preliminaries said: "Reggie! Where's Iris?" I pushed my piate aside and returned his gaze. "How should I know if you are ignor ant?" I replied. "Isn't ahe with her her auntie?" "Possibly," returned Bob. "In fact, probably. But whore's her aunt? They've disappeared from their flat flown, owing six months' rent besides salaries and unpaid bills innumerable and have left no address." "Well," I said reflectively, "I'm not surprised after what I overheard In their conservatory yesterday after noon." "What did you hear?" asked Bob, eagerly. I told him. Poor old Bob! I won't attempt to record his subsequent remarks anent women In general and Iris and auntie in particular, since no self-respecting type would consent to chronicle thenx Illustrated Bits. Th Oniriti or I.liigrr. A correspondent sends the following derivation of the term linger: ' "Early in the forties there moved from Ver mont to one of tiio thou flourishing cot ton manufacturing villages of New Hampshire, a man with a large family of children, to keep one of the corpora Hon boarding houses. H e was a tall. lank dyspeptic. There was but one shoe store in the village; in the rear of the store was a room for making and repairing shoes. Here was a Frenchman, and a lover of mischief, One day the tavern keeper entered the shop and said, 'Hello, are you a shoe maker?' 'Yes,' was the answer, 'and linger at it.' The Frenchman caught on, and in a day or two, there was hung outside the building, with other store goods probably the most uncouth bungllngly made pair of shoes ever seen on the continent, labelled 'Ling' era. There they hung until every man, woman and child in the village had looked them over. From that day the members of the dyspeptic's family were known aa 'Ungerti.' And the word was applied to everything as a superla tlve; to a tine yoke of oxen, or a big fish." Boston Journal. A ioml Case. "No," said Emallwort, who was talc, ing his ease under his own vine and fig tree, "no, I won't give you anything to eat, but If you will do some work, I will give you a quarter In cash." "Do you know," said Everett Wrest, "that I've got a mighty good ense agin you fer attempted bribery, if I only fell like pushln' It?" Cincinnati 1'noune, The Nmw Ctjimw. An Indian named "Man-Afrald-of. Nothing" married a white woman In Montana recently, and In ono week af ter his wedding he applied to his trtbi to have hla name changed. San Frau .1 rt .t t ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO. DEALERS IN Cigars, Tobacco. Candies, Fruits and Huts SOLK AGENTS FOR Henry Mail lard's Fine Candies. Freeh Every Week. 3?EN1TV Cr 00133 -A. QPEaALTY, SOLE AGENTS FOR F ,F. Adams & Co's Fine Bole agents for the Hoary Clay, Londros, Normal, Indian Priacoss, Samson, Silver Acb Bloom&burg Pa. "Thrift is a ood saving results from cleanli ness and B. F. Sharpless, Fres. N. U. BLOOMSBURG LAND IMPROVEMENT COMPANY. Capital Stock, $30,000. Plotted property is in the coining business centre of the town. It includes also part of the factory district, and has no equal in desirability for residence purposes. CIIUILJ LfUIb are ollered in a 6hort time. No such opportunity can be Lots secured on SMALL Maps of the town and of plotted property furnished on ap plication. Call upon or write to the Secretary, or J. S. Woods, Salts Agent, or any member 01 the BOARD OF B. F. Sharpless; C. W. Neal, A. G. Dr. 11. W. McReynolds, THE POSITIVE CURE. ELY BUOTHEIiS, sa Warren StewTork. Price 60 cU. I THE SOUTH CENTRAL CONSOLIDATED GOLD MINING AND MILLING CO. (INCOIU'OKATED.) CAPITAL STOCK - - - $2,000,000. Bliare $100 eacli, Hull Iald nnd Nan.Ane8Hable. (Issued In payment for this Company's Mines.) General Offices, 712-713 National Bank ol 8T. LOUIS, no. TREASURY RESERVE STOCK, $300,000. In Shares of $1.00 Each, Full-raid nnd Non-Assessalile. Controls a OVEJl GOLD. !M " Win. Asa'r bkc'y E. A. CO., SI. I,i.(ll3. TltK XSl'KKH AND noniMge co., (Ai 1 11 jiii.kij u.i'i tal, ii.w.wu), St. iwuls. The- Mlnas are PRODUCERS, and will boWorked for Dividends. A limited number of shares of the Com"iaiy's Breasury Ht jck will now be sold to MrHt. aniill cauls, lu the older received, at the urlce ot 2 CENTS A SHARE. Curtain to advance and yield ten to hundred fold and over, on this price. A SMALL JUDICIOUS INVESTMENT OFTEN BRINGS A FORTUNE.. SOW is THK TIM K TO BUY. The stock will be listed, and price advance rapidly. The Com. pany's consolidated mines have very lurga Ore Ituserves. It Is desired to erect u htuinp Mill, to reduce the Company's ore to Bullion. TI1K OUT PUT of Company's Mines will bo Increased to the DIVIDEND BASIS, as fully demonstrated by Reports and statements ou Ilia. Complete lieporu and statements sunt ou application. Ammt (1 We y vAsu Address application for shares to Trnmurrr Houtli Central Cniisnhdmrd nnlil nml MtUniit Co., 71 j Ac 71 j mm . 1; it. f mi rr,T?n; ' AN -ANTIDOTE' TOR U3ULUIE55. TRY IT ANDJEEYOUHSTORE With customers Cut Chewing Tobacco following brands of Cigars' revenue." Great vPOLlO Funk, Sec. C. II. Campbell, Treas. at values that will be doubled had elsewhere to make money. MONTHLY PAYMENTS- .Board of Directors. DIRECTORS. J. L Dillox. Brigos, Dr. I. W. Willits, N. U. Funk. 1 1-19- MSG Commorco Building, Broadway and Oliver St., Eich Group of Ten Gold Mines, Owylii'o County, Idaho ; a district which has produced 810,000.000,00. OI'FIC'EIiS AND DIUKUTOl.ft. ritE.;i dent Col. V. II. lirotlieis. Capitalist an 1 Heal Estate Owner and of W. II. HroiheiH & Co., hoofi'rs, st. I.ouls. Vic'K J'kks'T Cant. J A. Ware. Kallrond ('nntriiotnr. St. Tom. F. Wernse, I'rebldeut UuuruuUe Loan uuil Mort- tMK'o i-oroivitiy m. Louis. Ski'kktahv Wm. Tine, of Wm. Tlrre Suns, and Tlrre Coal Co.. fit, I.ouIh : alHO I'reH't I'rlnce Arthur Vlnlnir Co.. (inlil Minoa. Wernso, Cashier Uuaraulee Loau and Mortgage let or Nusijiuiii, Merchant Tailor, Cleveland Ohio. .1. 11. Ithnndes, or Hhoudt , lieuney & Spenoe, Hartford City, Ind Three other Hin rtorn reside at, the Mines TKANSKKIl AUUNT Tim tlllilmnten I.onn unit want, several good agents. Will pay LAUUK i.u.ujiiwiu.3 auu some iock, ou which w DIVIDENDS will be GUARANTEED. IHutiunal Kault of Commerce tld(., l-BUlNEi. DULL with- you ?,, La Grown Acme, Tho best burning oil that can be maclo from potro leum. It gives n lirilliant light. It will not meke the chlmneyj. It will not char the wick. It hs a Mh fire test. It will not cxplodt. It is pre-eminently a family safety oil. We Challenge Comparison with any other illuminating oil made. We stake our Reputation, as Refiners t upon the statement that it is The Best Oil IN TIIK WORLD, ASK YOUR DEALER FOR. Crown - Acme JI1E ATLANTIC REFINING CO.. BLOOMSBURG STATION, BLOOMSBURG, PA THE MARKETS. BLOOMSBURG MARKETS. C0BRIC.-1D WIIILT. R1TAIL PR1CB9. Butter per lb $ .18 .16 .iai .12 .06 to .10 .80 45 .65 4.30 803 .80 S 1. 00 to .30 4i .it .10 .07 .05 .12 4 -3i OS .80 -75 7S a. 00 1.20 !-3S '5 .ia .22 S .10 .10 Eggs per dozen Lard per lb , Ham per pound Pork, whole, per pound Beef, quarter, per pound , ... 07 Wheat per bushel Oats " Rye " " Wheat flour per bbl Hay per ton Potatoes per bushel, Turnips " " Onions " " Sweet potatoes per peck a 5 Tallow per lb Shoulder " " Side meat " " Vinegar, per qt Dried apples per lb Dried cherries, pitted Raspberries Cow Hides per lb Steer " " CalfSkin Sheep pelts Shelled corn per bus Corn meal, cwt Bran, " Chop " Middlings " Chickens per lb new " " "old Turkeys " " Geese " " Ducks ' Coal. No. 6, delivered . . " 4 and s " . . a. 40 3 5 2.25 325 " 6 at yard " 4 and s at yard CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT f For a f lrt, Biwiror and an honest opinion, write to Jill! IN N .V CO., who bave bad nuarlr Itfry year.' experience In the pntunt butmius.. Communica tions atrlctlr confidential. A lliiiiriboukofln. Zormatlon concerning I'uteniM and bow to ob. tutu tbem Bent free. A!m a cutulogue ol meubau leal anil .clentlno bonk, nent free. Patent, takuo tbruuRb Muun A Co. TeoelT fpeclal notice In the Mrientilic Ainerii-nn. and tbu are brought widely before the public with, put cost to tbe InTentor. '1 his nplendiU paiwr. Issued weekly, elegantly must ruled, baa by far the lament nlroulatioo of any acientinc work In Uie wlJJllf:. y- B.mple copit. Beat free. Building Edition, monthly, 2.6oa yeur. ttingla copies, -S cent. Every number contains beau tiful plates. In colors, and photographs of nuw bouses, witb plans, enablum builders to show tbe) latt'st designs and secure contracts. Address JllJNN CO, WKW YoilK, IIUOADWAT. Glass! Quick! There lotiof gnnp and vim In this Iiikkm' Huotiikkh. There's lotH of pleasure and good health In It, too. A Ue ltulouadrtuk, u temper ance drink, a liome mudo drink, a drink Unit dollKhU the old and young;. He dure and got Uie genulue HIRES'Rootbeer B ! puk.f. aiikti 5 itllou'i. Bold ..cry whus. THE OHAS. E. HIRE8 COMPANY, PHIUkDILPHIA, PA i t-Ut v? COPYRIGHTS. 0k H 4m 1 ri HIRES' hoot beer steel, noofnio and S2D3G. (Huirumliu'vii'ii Puti-nt.) LljMnlnj, Firo &r.J S'.aiiii Frcif Rrinl for I Tlir I'min Irou llm.fl-is; u ml "nrr I cutklnuiie vtiaj v'o. 1 1.1.1.1. I'liiittw. Ptu, uf iu-Uios. I ri' ;liv. SUBSCRIBE FOR " THE COLUMBIAN