THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMSBURG. PA. i 4 Ornnlma i?mff said a rurloun thin. Boys may whistle, but Klrls must slnf," That's the very thin I harj her say, , To Kate, no longer than yestcrJay. "Hoys miy whlstl." Of coutue they may, If thy pu k'-r thflr lips the proper way, l:ut for the llf; of me I can't see Why Kate can t whistle as wU as me. "Boys may whistle, but irlrls must sins;" New 1 i all that a curious thing. If )) ran whistle, why can't irlrls, too? It's the i-asi.-nt thing in the, world to Jo. So If the boys can whistle aid do It well, .Wry 'an't Kills will sombc4r tell? Wl.y can't they do what a bo can do? Tht is Hie tuing I should 111. to know. I went to father, and asked Mm why Ou.1 couldn't whlw.le as we,', as I; And he sai l, "The reason trv it girls must sing Is became a girl's a slng-uli thing." And grandma laughed till T know she'd ache .When I sal 1 I thought it all a mistake. "Never mind, little man," 4 heard het say. They will make jou whl Jtla enough some day." CONTAINED IN HORACE. One evening, not manj yearg ajro, Georpe Wilson made hla way through one of tlio streets of New Haven. His full name, as It appeared In the catalogue of the university, was George Ellis WIlBon, of Smithville, Pa. Ha had Just eaten etipper, and hurried across the busy streets and down this little lane till he came to a dimly light ed, second-hand bookstore. After paus ing at the threshold long enough to shake the snow from his coat, he en tered. The air of the room had the musty odor peculiar to old books, and the lit tle old man who kept the store seemed to have absorbed some of the mtiHty learning of his shop, such a scholarly fi oop did he have and so dusty were his clothes. An effort had been made to sort some of the books, and over several shelves was hung the label "Religious," and ever some others 'Grojt and Latin," while in the extrema corner were "Translations." Wilson eyed these last suspiciously, for he had "boned" hla way through preparatory school, an he had made tip his mind not to "horse" through college- Turning to the Latin books, he look ed thera through till he came to a copy of Horace, somewhat the worse for wear, but still serviceable,. Wilson glanced over the pages of the Horace and decided that it would answer his purpose, paid the old man thirty-five cents, put the book In his pocket, and went out into th street. The next morning he got up late, and In his hurry to get to breakfast put on the coat just as he had left it the night before. At chapel, however, during the long prayer, while the president was imploring "blessings ior the heathen In all lands," under which head Wil son would have little thought himself Included, he pulled out the Horace and looked at the fly-leaf. There were two of the initials of the former owner, W. JJ., and his class, '65. The last name had been carefully scratched nut. Up in the corner there T.as a note, evidently written during .lome rwiuuion thirty years before. "Can yon tutr ce an hour in trig, to morrow?" iiy tho time that Wilson had observ ed this much the prayer was ended, and the president was walking down the middle aisle while the seniors, In accordance with a custom handed down from long t.yr,, were making prodigious bows as lie passed, and falling in un ceremoniously behind him. Pocketing the book, Wilson returned to his room, and alter a few prelimi naries began to t;et ready to study. No one can study a book until he has thumbed it over and over and made himself familiar with it. The first tiling Wit-:r;n did. therefore, was to glance over the pages of his "Horace," and see what sort o? fellow Its former owner was. On the tlfth page he saw something that attracted his attention. Written In a man's liand, In rather small char acters, ns though the writer would not have it too public, and on the inner edge of the leaf was the name "Mary." Smiling to himself, Wilson tinned on. Nothing rise noteworthy appeared till he came to what was evidently a very difficult passage on the lifty-flrst page, for the leaf was badly worn and soiled, and written in the same hand as before were the names "ilollie" and "Alanie." Wilson turned to the first ode, and .worked Hteadily over the dictionary for two hours. Then he started tor tho recitation roum. The l-iuicui was Willlaiu B. Hen derson, but the boys always called him iJUlie behind his back, and occasion ally some one made a slip and called him Billie to his face. He was very serious, seldom known to smile, and a regular "grinder." Sto ries weie abundant about some love affair that he hail while a student at Yale, and of a girl whom he had been engaged to. who left him for a wealth ier man and a trip to Kurope. But stories about college professors are common, and no one pays much at tention to them. No one supposed that Bille Heuueiaou could ever have thought much of anything except Lat in. Kvery time thnt Wilson took up hia Horace to study, his eye caught sight of "Mary" or "Molly" or "Mame." One day, in looking over the notes in the back of the book, Wilson mada a discovery. Down In the corner of a page in tho same handwriting was "My Mary." "I'd like to know who that fellow was, and wh.it became of Mary," thought Wlluon. "What a nice little plot for a true sloiy! I could make out a whole lovo affair from these names in the book. Let's see. Some thing like this: "Chapter 1. Student comes to New Haven from Western home, Is hazed, meets a pretty girl, name Mary some thing or other; tries to study Horace, antls finds hliUbelf writing 'Mary' la his book, "Chapter II. Takes her to glee club concert, borrows money for the tickets and gets uncomfortably In debt, be tomes absent minded, and begins to write 'Mollle' and 'Mame.' "Chapter HI. Scene A beautiful parlor' Mary, beautiful and collected, THE REA9N stared on a fofa. Student, with on hand In coat pocket, standing by grata Pre, with one hand In coat pocket, Are, with one elbow on mantel. Ha complains of his hard luck In Horace; is sure to flunk on exam. Mary con soles, him tenderly. Student goes over to unfa, looks Into Mary's dark eyes, tells her the trouble Is that his Horace sings of no one but Mary, and that the r"M of his fellows and the professor don't translate that way. Mary blush es beautifully. He takes her hand, and they are very happy. "Chapter IV. The fellow goes to his room and writes 'My Mary' in his Hor ace, and flunks on the exam. Suddenly another Idea struck hlmi He turned around and started for hla room. On reaching It he took a tri ennial catalogue and looked through; to see what names In the class of '65 had the initials W. B. To his perplex ity, he found several names with these initials. "Well, If there isn't Billie Hender son's name! I never thought of It, but I suppose his name is really Wil liam," said Wilson to himself. "He could never have owned this book, though, for he must have been a regu lar grind." The term was drawine to a rlosn. when one day Professer Henderson an- ! nounced to his class that they could bring their own copies of "Horace" to the class-room on the next day. They; ; would do some reading at sight, he ex plained, and the class would be allowed to use what notes were to be found In their books. The next day, therefore, I Wilson took his "Horace" to class. The passage which was assigned to ' him was the one which the former ! owner had found so difficult and had) sought relief for his feelings by writ ing "Mame" and "Mollie" on the mar- ; gin of the page. Wilson, however, ! buckeled in manfully, and when called on translated with some fluency and sat down. The professor looked over the top of his glasses and said, rather Bternly: , "1 do not understand, Mr. Wilson, : how you obtain the meanings that you Ctve to some of the words." j Wilson hesitated a moment, and then ; a happy thought struck him. Some- ; thing that be had seen In the note tame to his mind. j "I think, professor," he said, "that lay text must differ from yours." 1 "Ah!" said the professor. "Let me see your text." 1 The professor took the book and glanced over the page. His expression changed In a moment. Old memories seemed to come up, and he leaned his head on his hand and looked steadily at the book. Finally he raised his eyes, and, band ing the book to Wilson, said: "You are quite right, Mr. Wilson." After the recitation was over. Pro fessor Henderson called Wilson to hia desk. "I should like, Mr. Wilson," he said, "to obtain that copy of Horace from you when you are through with It, If you have no objection to parting with it. It's an odd edition, you know," he added, In explanation, "and I I should like to have It to compare with other texts." "Well, I'll be biowed!" exclaimed Wilson, as soon as he was well away from the recltatlou-room. "Who would have thought ltl" And he buttoned up his coat and hurried to his room to tell the story to Johnson. City Koines. It's pretty hard to write In the city thes-j wide-opon-window days. Th'j dust you can screen off, but the Bounds from the street venders at; ike jour ear with a sickening thud. "Slrorberries!" "Here's your linn sparrowgrabs. o. ten a bunch!" "Ur.iss cut, lady " i'"ssns .o grind?" "Any ol' clothes?" Then the ofd man with the cart full of crockery appears, rattling two plates together like tambourines, until 1 am ready to shriek. He llnda mine au attractive block, for he stays around for an hour or more. Then the hand organ appears. It Is on wheels, is propelled by a man and v.OL.un, and bliouia uU melody like a paiU of musical artillery. When they have gone, two rulllans with fog-horn volte terrify us with fierce assertions regarding an "x tror!" Some of my neighbors buy it, but I have been caught by such before. They fade away at last, and then the man next door starts In on his flute, practice. Th-e l an altercation in tlu l.'8 lneut between the butcher's boy and tho servant, and a man begins to beat a carpet two houses away. Then a chap with a homicidal face ushers along a bony horse and a cart full of potted plants and flowers. "Flowers, lady? Dese are fine, deso are!" I am wondering what chance a full hatrack would have if he were alone with It, when my servant emerges and Hobc.h the poales with an anxious look. She buys three, and comes upstairs with her arms full and a face filled with delight. She wants them for her room, she says, and she is so happy at having them that I share In the general joy. But they are measly, wretched look ing things! Forced for sale, and will be dead In a couple of days. He has given her a bad ten cent piece too, but us he Is out of sight and her time Is valuable, I take the dime off her hands, and she goes off with her Moral prizes. It's all very trying when one 1b striv ing to write, but I have got an Item out of it, anyway, New York Itecorder. K 'lin ntertini( Figures, Mr. Henry Oannett, an able and painstaking statistician, calculates that In 1SH0 tho wealth of the United States was $4;i,G 12,0()0,O4j0, or an average ot $j7j to taidi inhabitant; that It was about fC'J,GuO,Ui)0,000 In 1890, or about fl.uuo to each inhabitant, and that at both dates It was greater than the wealth of any other nation. Mr. Oan nett finds that 5 per cent, of the total wealth of the country Is owned by mil lionaires, 27 per cent, by people worth from flOO.000 to 11,000,000 each, 25 per cent, by those worth from 10,000 to (100,000 27 per cent., the largest per ceiitage by those worth from 1,000 to $10,000 each, and t per cent, by those owning loss than $1,000 each. Boston Herald, , , . ., "MAN OVERBOARD." A Llrety Utile Juke, tint It Com film Tits Baggage "Steamship passengers frequently resort to practical Jokes to relieve the monotony of voyages," said a retired sea captain, "and while the pranks, as a rule, are perfectly harmless they sometimes have a boomerang effect. Three years ago we were crossing the Atlantic and both the owners and my self were exceedingly anxious to make a speedy trip, as a rival liner had the week before lowered the record held by our company. On the third day out, Just about dusk, the cry of 'Man overboard' rang through the ship, and a hurried investigation elicited the In formation that several of the passen gers had heard a splash, followed by piteous appeals of 'Help, help save ine" The engines were stopped, and the steamer put about, a close watch being kept meanwhile for the drown ing man. A half hour was spent In cruising about without results and we started on our Journey under the be lief that the poor fellow had gone to the bottom. The Inquiry that followed proved puzzling. No one was missing, and we came to the conclusion that a stowaway had committed suicide. "The next day, however, an expla nation came. We had a ventriloquist aboard, In the person of a very smart young man, who was too tickeled over the success of his Joke to keep the se cret. "Then the laugh was on him. As he had caused a serious delay and much annoyance I notified him that I had made an official entry of the circum stance on my log and the loss of time and that on approaching shore I would detain him until a sufficient guarantee had been put up that he would answet In court to reply to a demand for finan cial restitution. I talked of 130,000 being about the penalty under the gov ernment mail contract, and it Is need less to say he spent the balance of the oyage on tenter hooks. He disap peared before we docked, leaving hll baggage behind." San Francisco Post, pent as Written. Several years ago a young man, vhora we will call H, was employed as night operator at a small town in Il linois. The second night of his service a cir cus arrived In town and with It a great many farmers from the surrounding country. H went on duty at 7 o'clock In the evening. About an hour later a stranger came In to send a telegram. As soon as he had written and paid for the message the operator sat down to the instrument and proceeded to tick oil the telegram, which was brief, and read, not including address and sig nature: "Have Bean the party send mee the muney." When the'operator had nearly finish ed sending the message the receiving operator telegraphed back, "What you givln us?" referring to the spelling of the message. The rules of the Western Union Company prohibit any conversation on the wire between operators, but never theless this rule is frequently broken. It Is also a strict rule that messages shall always be sent and words spelled as they are written, even if, as Is often the case, the words are spelled wrong ly. But at the time H took this Job he was as Ignorant of these rules as an Indian, so to the operator's query as to what he was "givin' him" he replied thusly: Make it read: "Have seen the party, send me the money." "That's more like it," said the re ceiving operator. "I guess the bloke that wrote It never saw the Inside of a school," said the sending operator. The next moment he was chilled to the marrow by the soft words that wafted o'er his shoulder. "Young fellow, that was a cipher message. I am a detective and also an operator. I heard your remarks on tho wire, and If you don't send that message the v.ny I wrote it I Bhall sue your company for $50,000. And, further more, if you don't take back and apolo gize for the remarks you made about my schooling I will pound your head off." These words came from the "bloke" that wrote the message. It is superfluous to add that the apol ogy was forthcoming and the telegram sent again according to the "bloke's" rules for spelling. Chlcngo Inter Ocean, i i , . Learn to be 11 anil y. The lack ot manual training has been felt by many who, In the ordinary In terpretation of the word, are consider ed educated. This failing Is noticed most frequent ly In the trivial repairs the hardware man Is called upon to make. A left hand rim lock has ben carried three miles to have the latch bolt reversed. A customer repudiated his bill, cursed the outfit and the outfitters, because the water had evaporated from hla electric battery. Another customer was charged $3 by a hard-hearted deal er merely for putting a simple leather valve In his pump. The Impression appears to be firmly Installed that If a plumber Is paid for doing certain work, that work can be done by none but a plumber, whereas if men retained even a little of the ln qulsitlveness of their youth, they might yet "see the wheels go round." In dealing with mcchailcs the ability to Illustrate some technical feature by free-hand drawing is of great advan tage to the merchant. A salesman for eloctrlc chandeliers said that his talent for drawing had enabled him to close many a contrr.ct by clearing up all doubts and showing Jr.st how such and such a combination would look. In trimming his window many a hardware clerk ha3 marred an other wise good display by the appearance of bis price-tickets, and has longed for something that would enable him to become a creditable Blgn-wrltcr, or at least for a substitute for the labored and crude effects of his drop-block and brush. Hardware. Ho Not YV01U llcforo KrouHrnat. It la not a good plan to do much of anything In tho moiling before eating breakfast, or at any rule drinking a cup of coffee. One Is not In condition to work without detriment to tho gen eral health, and not long ago a doctor advised a friend not even to rend be fore eating uer fiist meal; be said that It was bad tor the eyeu. . ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO. DEALERS IX Cigars, Tctac:., Candies, Frtits and ITuts SOLE AGENTS FOR Henry Maillard's Fine Candies. Frwh Every Week. iP-NTiT-r Goods .a. s?ekalt7, SOLE A RENTS FOR F.F. Adams & Co's Fine Cut Chewing Tobacco Sole agents for the following brands of Cigars' -'j- T-J-., T--j1 T-'-r-'n TV -,..,. Cr-,r .iVne h Bloomsburg Pa. What brings relief from dirt and ? grease : you APOLIO B. F. Shxrpless, Pres. BLOOM LAND IMPROVEMENT COMPANY. Capital Stock, $30,000. Plottel property is in the coining business centre of the town. It incluJes also p;irt of the factory district, and ha3 no equal in desirability for residence riUiCJ are ollered in a short time. No such opportunity can be had elsewhere to make money. Lots secured on SMALL MONTHLY PAYMENTS Maps of the town and of plotted property furnished on ap plication. Call upon or write to the Secretary, or J. S. "Woods, Sales Agent, or eny member of the Board" of Directors. BOARD OF B. F. Siiahpless: C. W. Neal. A. G. Dr.. II. W. McReyxolds, r 11 it t Mki iMh 1 1. " m w fi n s u k v ju cin.. V1 THE POSITIVE CURE. I J la.ji.rM.iii.rr 'iB ELY EitWHEIiS. M Wuren St-Nra Vnrk. Print sn m. 1. -J THE SOUTH CENTRAL CONSOLIDATED GOLD MINING AND KILLING CO. (INCOhl'OltATED.) CAPITAL STOCK - - $2, OOO.OOO. (stiarei l ou each, Full I'ald mid .Nou.ANssHable. (Issued In payment for this Company's Mines.) Ceneral Offices. 712-713 National Bank ol ST. toils, MO. TREASURY RESERVE STOCK, $300,000. In Shares of l.oo Each, l ull-I'aiil and Non-Afscssalile. w y GOLD. 1 1 As I'S-fcO V-E.A. Co.. St. Lou s. 1 11 rev oiuit inreeiors 1 IhAS UK I A j,vi, i;i;c .o. , a 1 1 11 vill. I, li I. .111 1 . l l , liie.'HIU), C. L.OU1S. Tho MInas nre PRODUCERS, and wilt beWorked for Dividends. A limited nuintier ot shares ot the Comoai y's Srensurv tu.w.tt win nnw iw .ni,i 1,, nrvt ,,,..ii cants, in the older received, at the price of tzj CENTS Certain to arivtmre and yield ten to hundred fold tCA SMALL JUDICIOUS INVESTMENT OFTEN BRINGS A rOMTUNE. NOW IS Til 15 TIM E TO BUY. The stock will bo Uted, nnd price advance rapldlv "rue Com pahy h consolidated mines have very lai6c Oro Uesei vca. It U desired to erect a si'auip Mill. 10 reduce the company's ore to liullljii. THE OCT ITT of Company's Mines will ho Increased to the niVinSN'D no fullv demonstrated by Ueporls and statements on tllo. complete Heports and Statements beut oil rJUilNl 1LO l DIV,END.S will be GUARANTEED. .r v r An --Antidote : TRY IT AND 5EE YOURTORE Mth;ojstomer5.. Whv don't know ? N U. Funk, Sec. C. II. Campbell, Treas. SBUR purposes. at values that will be doubled DIRECTORS. T. L Dillox. Briggs, Dr. I. W. Willits. N. L. Fuxk. 1 1-19- Commerce Building, Broadway and Oliver St., Controls a Eich Group cf Ten Geld Mines, Located In CarNiiu MIiiIiik IKMrlct, Owjhre County, IUuho; a district tvuloh has produ cJ OVER 810,000.000,00 OFFICEUS AND DIKECTOltS. l'l!Rsii)ENT-C:M. W If. Itrothers, Capitalist nnl Hon! Estate Owner: mill ii . H. 1:101 hers 4 Co., Hoofers, t. Louis KB I'hks't ( apt. J A. Ware, Ifallroad Contractor, St. Loui. id Wm. K. W'ernse, President Guarantee Loau and Vort- K-ee Company SI. Louis. tKCUKTAKY Win Tine, of Wm. Tlrre & Sons, anil Tine Coal Co , St. 1 1 1 iii.to n ri lliir .willing I.O., uoiu 3in" Wernse, Cashier Uuaraulee Loan anil nil Mortgage Viet or Nuh utn, Merchant Tnlinr, Cleveland Ohio. .1. 11. Khiwdes. of Kh'iad.-s, Kenney Spence, Hartford C ity, Ind. reside at tlie .Mines. f XWfc-W A:tfvr Tl.a .... In.... " A SHARE. and over, on this price. 1I-MJ1NE1 DULL WITH YOU ? PoRvDullness. fx .A se&iK. Grown AcmQt Tho best burning oil that can be maclo from petroleum. It gives 11 brilliant lic.hU It will not smoke the chimneys. It will not char the wick. It h.n a liih fire test. It will not explode. It is pre-eminently a family safety oil. We C'ha'utr.ge Comparison with any other illuminating oil inatle. We stake our Reputation, as Refiners upon the statement that it is Tho Best m IM TIIK WOHI.n. ASK YOL'R DEADER FOR. Crown - Acme TOE ATLANTIC REFINING CO, BLOOMSBURG STATION', M.OOMSITPG, TA THE MARKETS. BLOOMSBL'RG MARKETS. CORRICTID WSIILT. RKT&tL PRICKS Butter per lb $ ,20 Eggs per dozen ,ti i.ara per id , 12 Ham per pound 2 1'ork, whole, per pound .06 Beef, quarter, per pound, . . . 07 to .10 Wheat per bushel .80 Oats ' " -4S Rye " " .6; Wheat flour per bbl 3.60 Hay per ton.. 12 00 to 14.00 Potatoes per bushel .75 Turnips " " 9 Onions " " i,o Sweet potatoes per peck 25 to .30 Tallow per lb ,4i Shoulder " " , Side meat" " IO Vinegar, per qt 07 Dried apples per lb 05 Dried cherries, pitted .u Rispberries ,J4 Cow Hides per lb i Steer " CalfSkin Sheep pelts ,75 Shelled corn per bus ,75 Corn meal, cwt a 00 B"-an " 1.20 Choi) " , ,s Middlings " i2Q Chickens per lb new . 1 a " "old 22 Turkeys " " tI- Geese " " Ducks " " ' 10 Coal. No. 6, delivered a 40 " 4 and s 3:50 "6 at yard ,.,5 " 4 and 5 at yard 35 COPYRIGHTS. i I OBTAIN A PATKNT for ER"IPL "W-'f nd un boneil opinion, write to ill I INN .V ( ., who have had nuurly Ufty vuaiV expennncu lu the patent busiiii'aa. Couiiuunica. tloiw Dtrlctly confidential. A llnndbonk of la. loraiatlun concerniuu I'alenl and bow to ob. tain them Bent tree. Also a raialogueoX oietban. lull and Bciontiao honks nout free. I'atunts taken tbrouuli Mtinn ft Co. Koclva ?1r2"itCB"lt.heS' i,'n""! Amerirnu, and ..i"r? fro.'l!,h wlit'!7 bcKirethe public with. SJihf r ' '?,tbe. "tor. Thla splendid piper. If sued weekly, elegantly Illustrated. ha by far tho KSSf 1 S"-'u't"' ot any scientific work la Urn TI iiMiS-J.Tf."- San'l;l? ciM.is sent free. Building Edition, monthly, j.5u a year, flneta ZfUfr:' "i""' f'',ur' n"Her contains beau tlf I Plates. In colors, and photographs of new no"'.": with pluua, euublmg builders to nhow Uiu " i"' S'.',!K"J! Iin'J 8JC", funtracta. Address J".VN Jt CU f)IW YOUK, 3U1 IlUUAliWAT. gniumiiiiiiuiiiniinmimmninniniiuuiiimi Glass! Quick! There's lotsofsnnp nnd , vim In tills UlHKM' I 'mwii. xiierosioui HIRES I 9C Pleasure una kooU ftn,rrf ''e,l In It, too. A dtc IIOOTBttKI l,.ioull drink, a temper- nm-B aritiK, a liomn niHde drink, a drink tllllt flMllolltu tl.a ,.1,1 and vninu, iia mm. -a and not tba uunulna HIRES'Rootbcer o mm pscn.,, m,i, 5 i0I1,, g.,14 n.,,wbwt. THE CHA8. E. HIRES COMPANY, PHllinri nun f, IIIIIUUIIIIIIIUIIIUIUIUIIUUUIUIIUUIUIUIUUUIUUlUlllJ ft-llt STEEL ROOiFIWQ and SSD3G. (l-ii jenil.M ,1'ntent.) Brnd for I Tiie IVnn J run Iluu.l. v r.ml Tnri t calumiie uuut'. (l.iii. 1 I'liiU., i'u., Ol pllues, 1 mm U J 1 SUBSCRIBE FOR THE COLUMBIAN