i
NOT SELF-SLAUGHTERERS.
i Mid Scnrplona lo Not Commit Sal.
elite, ah linn Ileen Nuppoaeri.
Writing to Nature I'rof Kay Lnn
Veatcr says: "The letter of Edward 8.
Jllohlen on this subject Is extremely In
(teiwiMnp. It appears that he, like
Krthcr individuals who have Imagined
that they have witnessed tho suicide
iof scorpions, have fallen into tho er
iror (so eoinmon in tho Interpretation
jof biological as distinguished from
abloloplcnl phenomena) of stating his
inferences and beliefs as though
Ithey were observations. Tho 'Instance
yrhieh ooi'iirrvtl beforo my eyes' (to
juote his words, which remind ono of
(the old herbalist, Gerard) was simply
jthat of a snulto biting itself when im
prisoned in a j;ir of water. That the
.blow was 'deliberate,' 'intentional,'
and of 'suicidal purpose' is pure ipooii
'la t ion, and nothing occurred before
Mr. liolden's eyes to warrant his en
tertaining such a notion. Had Mr.
IHolden been aware that tho poison of
(the rattlesnake has little ornoelTcct
upon unoth'T rattlesnake nor upon tho
individual from which the poison Is j
furnished h. would probably have '
Tiecn less reudy to conclude that tho I
bite was one f suicidal purpose, lie '
would then perhaps have inquired ns
to the depth to which the bite pene-
trated into t'.io tissues of the snake 1
nd how far .vieh a superficial bite as ;
ib snake can it. (Met uiku a, part of its '
pwn body is HVely (in the absence of ;
ny piiso ious net ion) to be seriously 1
injurious t tho snake. In this ease,
as In that of the scorpion confined in
a fiery circle (experimentally studied
!both by li.yhclf and by I'rof. Ilourne,
iOf Madras, und reported on in tho pro- 1
iceedings of the I.inmean society and
the Koyal society), the spasmodio
Struggles of rn animal artificially eon-
,finel and tortured have been, us we j
'clearly demonstrated, mistaken for j
efforts at self-destruction. The biting (
of its own body by the snake may ho '
justly compared with the 'biting tho
dust' attributed to men who die in a 1
hand-to-hand struggle or to tho biting I
of their own hand or arm by unhealthy I
children when suffering from a par-
oxysm of linger." j
A SCHEME THAT FAILED. j
An Austrian J:l!tor Who Cried Wolf I :
Wolf!" Whrn Tm-ro Wat No Wolf. '
The Kleine Zeitung relates a story
of the Austrian censorship of the press,
'The editor of a small provincial print
-was either in great difliculty to find a
fit subject for his leading article, or
else was too intent upon other busi
ness or upon pleasure to provide one.
The last moment had come, und the
editor was in despair. Ho tortured his
brain in vain, when he was suddenly
inspired by a happy thought, nnd
dashed off the following lines: "After
carefully perusing tho leading article
written for the present number by ono
of the ablest of our contributors, we
have arrived at tho conclusion that it
maybe misirterpreted by the author
ities and regarded as an attack upon
the government. We ourselves con
sider It to be perfectly innocent, but
oswcf unwilling, for our readers'
sake, as well as for our own, to have
our newspaper confiscated, we have
ery unwillingly, though, as we think,
prudently, resolved to withdraw the
article. This must serve as tho apol
ogy to our readers for the blank space
In our present issue." The journal
was published in the evening, and the
sly editor, after performing this smart
little piece of stratagem, left the office
in high good humor with himself. As
soon as he arrived in tho office on the
following morning a clerk came up to
him with a doleful expression and said:
"llerr Kedaktor, the paper is confis
cated bv the police!" "For what rea
son?" said the astonished editor. "For I
malicious ridici.le of the institutions!
of the Austrian empire by the omission i
of the leading article," replied the man. i
MONKEY WORKMEN. i
Apea That Tomm-m the Knowledge of
Pottery Making.
An extraordinary story is told by the
London Daily News, which states that
Dr. Maogowan lately returned to
Tient-sin, bringing with him, among
other curious discoveries, some partic
ulars of a race of Manchurian monkeys
inhabiting the mountain region of the
Great Wall of China. They are said to
know how to make pottery; more re
markable still, they are represented us
having made extraordinary progress in
the art of making wine. A recent edi
tion of the odlcial history of Yungping
states that lately a large body of im
migrating monkeys passed a certain
village in crossing from ono mountain
t another. The boys of the village
clapped their hands and shouted at the
spectacle, und tho monkeys, being
frightened, Hod, taking their young in
their arms, but dropping in their llight
a number of earthen vessels, some of
which would hold a quart. On open
ing these, .tho villagers found they
contained two kinds of wine, a pink
and a green, that had been made from
mountain berries. It is affirmed that
the monkeys store this liquor for uso
In the winter when tho water is all
frozen. Dr. Macgowan cites other in
dependent testimonies to similur facts,
including a Chinese account of mon
keys in Chekiang who pound fruit in
stone mortars to mako into wine.
Head of liurtleu In China.
Chinamen have such regard for
beasts of burden, such ns an ox and
the mule., that they make companions
of them when alive and never uso their
meat for food when they are dead.
These animal usually live in tho same
building with their masters, but in a
separate apartment, which is especial
ly devoted to them. They are not re
quired to eat at the family table un
less they wish to, and meals are served
in their rooms without extra charge.
They are expected to report any in
civility or Inattention on the parts of
servants to the muster of the house. A
pair of oxen can reside In tho house of
Uielx master und enjoy all tho privuey
they would have in a stall of their
own, and a sensitive and retiring mule
U never in any danger of being intrud
ed upon.
THE HACIT O" DRUDGERY.
ftomo Advaiithgr anil Othrrwlao of Ilav
Insj IMfttlngiitiitKMl Itrnther.
Since my brother Mundanus has be
come rich nnd famous ns the author
nnd autocrat of tho bootjack trust, I
have been very strongly tempted to
stop working for myself and arrange
with him for my support, says a writ
er in Seribner's. It may bo that I shall
conclude that the habit of drudgery Is
too firmly (InimI on me to be thrown off
with impunity, so that perhaps I shall
elect to go on working; but. if I do It
will be in tho nature of self-indulgence,
maintained for moro personal ease,
against my conviction of what is Just
ond right.
For my argument is. nnd It Is con
ceived on general rnd impersonal
grounds, ami founded without preju
dice on dispiissi.nrite observation, that
a comfortable maintenance without
work is a very moderate set off to any
ordinary man for the inconvenienco
nnd detriment of having an Immoder
ately successful brother. The reason
lies in the incorrigible tendency of so
ciety to measure brothers by the same
standard. When they are little society
puts them back to back and observes
which is tho taller. When they aro
grown it piles their achievements or
renown or Incomes up side by side,
and remarks which pile is bigger.
Mr. Rockefeller's or Mr. As tor's in
come may run up into the millons,
without making anyone think tho
worse of my capacity; but ever since it
became known that Mundanus was
gett ing fifty thousand dollars a year
(largely payable in Hoot jack stock, ns
I happen to know, but the public
doesn't), it has been imputed to me as
a fault, and somewhat of a disgrace,
that my in-takings were not so large.
However conscientiously a man may
have used tho talents given him, nnd
whatever progress lie may have made
in life, if it be his misfortune to have a
meteoric brother v. ho has sailed con
spicuous where he has had to plod. and
r.rri'.vd glorious where he has sweated
in patient aspiration, the slow-gaited
man is bound to suffer as 1 do. by dis
paraging comparison with his oeupod
fellow of the same brood.
ENGLISHMEN NOT LOVABLE.
A llrltou t'iilW Them Aecre!ve, l"ur
I'rnuil and Uypoerltlcul.
The editor of the Times appears to
have just discovered that tho French
detest the English ns bitterly, if not
more so, than they do and other neigh
boring uation. says London Truth, and
in a leading article on Saturday that
paper astonished the world with a la
bored attempt to account for the can so
of this dislike to us. Hut the reason is
a very simple one.
We English are by no means a lova
ble race. We have many admirable
qualities. We are a hardy, praotical,
persevering people; but these ore not
in themselves sympathetic properties.
We are aggressive, solf-ussortive,
purse-proud and hypocritical. We are
apt to sing panlms nnd pick pockets at
one and the same time, nnd our neigh
bors, not altogether unjustly, there
re, resent the over-righteous tone
that we adopt in criticising them and
their concerns.
Wherever the Englishman goes he
has the fatal influence of spoiling even
the most rdmple of characters. A few
Ilritish tourists will make the inhab
itants of the most inexperienced prov
ince shrewd, suspicious, grasping and
dishonest. This is within the common
knowledge of any who have traveled
in little-visited lands, and a considera
tion of this phenomenon will enable us
the better, perhaps, to understand why
o.ir neighbors, and more cspt-cially the
Fr.-.'.ch, so heartily detest v.s.
It is i.lso a curious faot that whenev
er there are any general elections to bo
hel l in the great republics the most
popular policy is to twist the tail of
ti'ij I'.riti.di lion. It would be instruct
ive a.i a subject for the dull season to
discuss the question: "Are we English
really much superior to ull other na
tions?" I think we are. but apparently
our neighbors think otherwise; ami it
might bo well, therefore, to discover
whether we nra mistaken or whether
they are stupidly prejudiced.
DEVOTED DOUS.
They Sarrlllced TlieimclTea for Tbelr
I.I t tie MWtrem.
A writer in Our Animal Friends re
lates a story of two fox-terriers, Tan
and Tally, which belonged to a physi
cian in southern California, und were
the playmates of his little daughter
Mabel. They had been her compan
ions from her babyhood, and she was
now five years old. On the day in
question she and they were frolicking
in the garden, when the little girl's ut
tention was attracted by a peculiar
noise in a bush at her elbow.
She peered into the branches to seo
what had made the noise. Instantly
tho head of u snuke reared itse'.f before
her, and the sound of its rattles was
repeated. Mabel stood t..s if fascinated.
The gardener, at work not far off,
screamed to her to run, and hurried tu
fast us he could to her rescue, liurry
us he might, however, he would have
been too lute but for tho dogs.
They saw the little girl's danger, and
threw themselves between her und it,
worrying tho snake, till the man could
come up ond kill it. They were quito
aware of their own danger; again ond
again, wdien camping out with their
master, they had shown tho greatest
terror at tho sound of a snake's rattles;
but they could not see tho child in
jured. When tho mother came in answer to
tho shouts of the gardener, she found
Mabel safe, but both dogs were already
in tho agouies of death.
Bllffhtly DinVrrnU
An English lawyer, Mr. William Wil
lis, was once rather amusingly Inter
rupted in a speech.
In addressing a political meeting,
Mr. Willis found an opportunity of re
ferring to Charles Dickens' character,
Dark is, and of exclaiming "Barkis U
wllllnT
, "No, no," shouted a worklngman in
the audience, "it aint 'Barkis is willin',
1 but 'Willi U barkiaT
Want to Sell Exhibits.
General A. B. Ncttleton, ex-Assistant
Secretary of the Treasury, aiul
Colonel Alex 1). Anderson, as attor
ncys for nearly two thousand foreign
exhibitors at the World's Columbian
Imposition, had a hearing before the
ays and Means Committee of the
House, ami the Finance Committee
of the Senate, Tuesday. They asked,
first that during the brief remainder
of the exposition period they be al
lowed, under regulations and limitation
to be fixed by the Treasury Depart
ment and the Exposition management
to sell goods for current delivery, and
second, that for customs purposes the
appraisal of goods sold to be reduced
fitly per cent. They urged among
other considerations these : The
deterioration from transportation and
exposure, has materially reduced the
stliing value of many of these exhibi
ted goods, but the appraisals for cus
toms purposes are fully up to the in
voice value.
The bulk of the goods to be soul
under the proposed legislation is of
such a character as not to enter into
competition with articles of American
manufacture.
Similar action was had after the
Philadelphia Centennial Exposition
in 1S76. A bill to carry out these
purposes has been introduced into
the House by Mr. 1 Uirborrow.
Something to Kumember,
if you're a weak or ailing woman: I
that there's only one medicine so sure
to help you that it can be yuitrmttil.
It's Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
In building up over-worked, feeble,
delecate women, or in any "female
complaint" or weakness, if it ever fails
to benefit or cure, you have your
money back. It's an invigorating,
restorative tonic, a soothing and
strengthening nervine, and a safe and
certain remedy for woman's ills and
ailments. It regulates and promotes
all the proper functions, improves di
gestion, enriches the blood, dispels
aches and pains, brings refreshing
sleep, and restores health and strength.
Nothing else can be as cheap. With
this, you pay only for the good you
get. '
We Live Too Eapidly.
THAT IS THE OPINION OK A JAVANESE
GIRL AT THE FAIR.
"At home we are happy and live
our lives slowly. Here people live
lives in one day." Thus spoke Ejot,
a Javanese girl who is visiting the
World's Fair, in response to a repor
ter's desire to known how she liked
Chicago. Her ready perception of
chief points of difference between
oriental and American life stamps
Ejot as a person of discrimination.
She speaks patronizingly of our insti
tutions and laments our bad taste, but
thinks we may improve in this respect
as the "country is young'
"America is large, strange and cold,"
she said. "The climate seems to me
to affect the people and make them
rough and noisy. I never heard so
much noise in my life. In my home
we do not make great noise. The
ladies are the most beautiful things in
America, but they are very strange to
me. They always want to shake
hands. Then they kiss each other. I
do not like that. In my country we
only kiss our mother and sisters.
Their dress is beautiful. Their form
is strange.
"I will some day get an American
lady's dress and put it on just to see
how I look. Xo one will ever see
me with it on. I should be ashamed.
I !o not like the men in America.
They are not polite."
Harried.
On Friday, September 15th, at the
parsonage of Tiinity Reformed church,
by Rev. C. H. Brandt, Mr. Herman
Altenhoff and Miss Lizzie Zoeller,
both of Wilkes-Barre, Fa.
An Open Letter to Women.
Laurel Ave, San Francisco,
May 18, 1892.
" Dear friend of women:
"When my baby was born,
five years ago, I got up in six
days. Far too soon. Result:
falling of the womb. Ever
since I've been miserable.
" I tried everything: doctors,
medicines, apparatus; but grew
worse.
"I could hardly stand; and
walking without support was
impossible.
"At last I saw an advertise
ment of Lydia li. Piticiams
Vegetable Compound, and de
cided to try it. The effect was
astonishing. Since I took the
first bottle my womb has not
troubled me, and, thanks only
to you, I am now well. Every
sunenng woman
should know
how reliable
your compound
is. It is a sure
cure." Mrs. A.
Petwiter.
AlldruguItU " "
imiivi 111 cnnnueiire, .
LtVU li. I'lNKHAM MllU. Vnufftr EmuMT
Co., I.vkn, Mai. Q .
LivrPUlM, eo etotM. r" J
Buckeye Drills,
Richmond Champion Drills,
rar 1
IV,1ohc.v is "very
so buy whnt Imiilcmviit you miiy wquii'v,
lit I lac very low sric?c?s :aia2 ISfcca'al
c5uis wc sh&'c otfka'ifi:r.
D-
BLOOMSBURG,
TIw Finest Patterns,,
TM Finest Material, The Finest Stylo $
The Finest Trimmudt
The finest Cut,, The finest Made, and
THe FINEST FITTING
that can be
THE RELIABLE CLOTHIER.
You will positively get the most vaiue by trading
with I. Maier for your
CLOTHING, HATS, SHIRTS, NECKWEAR, &C.
made to order of correct sHyles, mul
Satisfaction guaranteed.
I. MAIER, Bloomsbur
J. R. Smith & Co.
LIMITED.
MILTON, PM
DEALERS IN
By tUe following well-known makers :
ChJckcrlux,
Knabc,
Weber,
Uallct & Davis.
Can also furnish any of the
cheaper makes at manufact
urers' prices. Do not buy a
piano before getting our pricea.
.o.
Catalogue and Price Lists
i On application.
FRAZERoIe
BEST I IV THE WORLD.
Jlimriil quallttMtr aruurp.M.d. actual!?
cutlaatln. two boxes of anr other brand. V
Oactod hi baat. ITUtt Til K CiEH VIK C
FOR BALE BY DEALERS GENERALLY, lyf
2-24'iyr.
PIAWQS,
THE BE
Uilal," hut yon
W. KITCHEN,
6Tfac mint who smiles."
found in Bloomsburg is at
Pho East 3urr.ir.c C:I That Can to
Madj 2Vwi Fctrolcurr..
It gives a brilliant liyht. It will not
moke the chimneys. It will not char the
wick. I ha a hih fire test. It will not
exploile. .t is ure-eminently a family nafetv
oil.
' Challenge Comparison with am
ther illuminating oil matlo.
We stake our Reputation, as Refiners
upon the statement that it is
I'Jio Best Oil
1!H TIIU WO Kin
ASK YOL'K 1I:Ai.1.K FOK.
Crown - Acme
The Atlantic Refining Co.,
BLOOMSBURG STATION,
LOOMSBURG ,I'A.
Farmers' Favorite Drills,
Oliver Chilled Plows,
ST
caia vcSB stCS'ortf
WE TELL YOU
notliln? ucw when we slate that It pays to enpjf
in u pi-rmanent, most hi'althy and pleasnut bu;i
thut return u prollt f'r every day's wori
Sncli 1.4 the liusiiirss we oflt r the working clsi
We teiu h them how to muke money rapidly n
PU!r;tn: e --erv one w ho IoIIowh our instructions
faithfully the makiufr of :i(K).(M a month.
Ki it) one who tukc. hold now and works will
surely iiml .'peedlly increase their earning; ther
ran .be no ueitiou about it; others now ut work
are doinjr II, und you, reader, can do the same
llils ii the best paying business that you have
ever had the chnueo'to itecure. You will make a
t'ravc mUiake it you (all to give it a trial at ouce.
If you grup the situation, and act quickly, you
will directly llnd yourself in a most prosperous
business, at which you can surely make and save
l.irjiesumi of money, l'he rrbu'lls of only a few
limiM work will often equal u week's waR'S.
Whether you are oldor youui:, man or woman, it
nukes no dillereuco, do as we tell you, and suc
cess will meet you at the very start. Neither
experience or capital necessary. Those who wor
for us are rewarded. Why not write to day for
full particulars, free ? K. O. A I.LKX & CO.,
Vox No. 440, Auguita, Ma.
t Pa.
Improve our stock
by getting a setting
of Barred or White
Plymouth Rocks.
Eggs from fine birds
at. $1.50 per 13,
or $2.50 per 26.
Address, W. B. German,
ItUllville, x t Pcnna.
i