)o rot forget date of O. U. A. M.
pi mic at Lakeside 1'nrk, Aug., 1 3.
Hang ! Jiang ! Go to Ciimmings
,V Vcu'y for fire works.
There will be services in the Re
formed Church Sunday evening
Mrs. John Gilbert, of Philadelp hia,
is visiting friends here.
Mr. and Mrs. Morris Shipley and
children, of Cincinnati, are visiting at
Mr. William Neat's.
The Illoomsburg and Sullivan R. R.
Company have arrange! to run a spec
ial train on July 4th, 1892. See sched
ule for that day.
Rev. W. C. I.everett left Tuesday
for Cambridge, Mass., to attend com
mencement at Harvard University;
and also a reunion of his c'ass.
The Holy communion will be cele
brated in the Lutheran church next
Sunday, with Preparatory service on
Friday evening.
A party of the young people of
town took a "straw ride" to llerwick
on Tuesday evening. They report a
vsry pleasant trip.
There will be a festival at the As
bury M. E. Church on the afternoon
and evening ot Saturday, July 9, 1891
All arc cordially invited.
r). V. Kitchen lost a valuable
horse on Wednesday. The animal
pot fast in some way under the door
of the stable and broke its leg and it
was necessary to shoot it.
"A Nation's Honor and its Eene
mies" will be the subject of Rev.
Heilman's sermon next Sunday even
ing An appropriate theme just pre-
ctdirg our Isational Holiday.
Fire Works ! Fire Works !
Cummings & Verdy.
At the meeting of Susquehanna
Snod held at Northumberland last
week, J. K. Bittenbenbendcr was re
elected as one of the Trustees of the
Tressler Orphans' Home at Loysville.
All members of Uloomsburg Coun
cil No 146 O. U. A. M. are request
ed to meet in their Hall at 1 o'clock
sharp, July 4 to participate in the pa
rade. 15y order of the Council.
The Wilkesbarre ard Western R.
R. Co. wi.l run a special train leaving
Hats'jntowa7.ie A. M., Washington
ville 7.53, Jerseytown 8.03, Miliville
S.19. kohrsburg 8.38. Connecting
with D. & S. speci d at Orangeville for
Ix'nton. Returning leave liloomsburg
10 P. M.
Patent Crackers best cracker for
Summer 12 cts. it. Cummings cc
0 1 1 m 1
The Ladies of the Lutheran church
are making large preparations to give
a good dinner to the visitors and the
home community on the Fourth,
Kitchen Agricultural Hall will be used
at the Forks and tents will be erected
on the lawn in which Ice Cieam, Lem
onade, Sandwiches &c. will be served
in fine style.
Last wtek at a meeting of the Luth
eran Susquehanna svnod at Northum
herland Rev. P. A. Heilman, J.Yutzy,
A. N. Warner, ami E. A. Sharretts
were elected delegates to the general
Synod which meets at Canton O. next
May. Also four laymen of which Mr.
i' Kuhn. ot our town was one. Air,
J. K. Littcnbender wes re-elected as
trustee of the Orphans Home at l.oys-
vuie, i'a
, Co to Cummings & Verdy for fire
worns.
Ei-County Oonventiou,
The Christian Endeavor Societies of
Montour and Columbia counties met
in convention for the first time in the
liaptist church of Uloomsburg, on
Thursday afternoon, June 23. An
evening session was held in the Pres
byterian church, which was followed
py a social. The attendance and the
'"teret-t manifested at both sessions
were good and promise a ouickenin
n the cause of C. E., which will not
fcpon be lost. One hundred and eighty
mrec delegates were enrolled, repn
anting fifteen societies in the two
counties. Mr. W. E. Beiderwolf, Supt,
fescue Mission, Scranton. and Rev
IJr. Woods, of Williamsport, addressed
the evening session.
Star Pretzels ! Something ncw
A s k Cummings & Verdy for them.
Lamp-chimneys cost so little
that we let them go on break
ing. We go oa buying and
smmDung.
What should wo do?
Get Macbeth's " Pearl-top
ana " Pearl-P-lass -." thev are
ttlado of trnrv1i rr1nc tr11
?gainst heat ; they do not break
441 hu ; tney cio irom accident.
Aaey are fine, well made,
-vict; they fit the lamps they
ne made for; stand upright
the shads i rio-lit ihp.v mak
a right draught for light ; they
Wo uniform. Both bear a label
lljr your protection. Look for it.
fto willini? to txiv a nick
more and stop this constant
epenso and annoyance.
MINTS ABOUT CLAMS.
THEY DRINK AND BREATHE IN A
PECULIAR MANNER.
Til Clam fun fie It Pool as Spade,
a Honk, ft Klmrp Wrrige or Pointed
(Irsvlng Tnnl-Ollier rtsmarkable
Features ofTlilt Useful Molluek.
"The clam in point of merit seems al
ways t lmve been overshadowed by th
oyster," said an Ichthyologist to a Star
vriter. "vl tliw more humble molliisk
which II mis a domicile in sand or mud,
h a very useful a well as admirable
creature. You know the 'sqtiirf clam,
which H no Jintly popular in New Eng
land, wlipre it in sometime, called the
'.naud gaper' or 'old maid.' It it an ani
mal unattractive enough iu appearance
when newly ilug up, but put it iuto a
a pun of shallow sea water, aud you will
presently i.bserve something about it
tliut will surprise you.
"As soon as tbe clam, thus restored to
its natural element, lias regained confi
dence, it stretches out it tube or 'ncok
to a length of aeverul inches, perhaps
nearly a foot. Then it i Keen that tbie
important organ lias two openings at the
end. frinxod with append, iges like little
felr. I wo tule pass through tno
nock to tlie body of ths clam, and, if you
watch, you will sue :i current of water
It wiiii,' Iuto 0110 tubii and out of tlie
other. This current is produced by tho
motion or small hmr-lue 'cilU lining
tlie interior of the animal. The clam
has viscera, a heart, a stomach, into
which the mouth opens almost directly
hut I did not Intend to giro you an
anatomical nocture.
"These 'squirt' or long clams are
found plentifully us far north as tho
Arc tie Ocean where the seals, walrus
aud Polar bears uud foxes feed upon
them grredily. 1 heir habitat extends as
far south as Cape llatteras, below which
they are scarce. They thrive also along
the northern coast of Europe and on the
shores of Japan, Alaska aud Northeast
em Asia. The young clam, as soon as
ho is old enough to establish a dwelling
for himself, protrudes his foot, which ia
at the opposite end from the nock, and
proceeds to dill with it. This foot U
realty very reniarkuble instrument, in
nsmiich a the animal ean alter its shape
nt will, so that it becomes a spade, a
hook, a sharp wedge or a pointed crav
ing tooL AYitli it the clam digs down
for six or eight inches into the sand,
1-aviriK extended behind him his siphon
like neck.
"It i by means of this siphon that the
el-im maintains communication with tho
surface. Having neither the means nor
the inclination for roauiiug, it depends
for food upon microscopic articles which
lire tiucked in with the curreut of water
through the tulie, the water bringing
oxygen to the gilla. Its burden uuloaded,
the water flows out through tliediseharg
inir tubes, carrying with it all excremon
titioua mattor. This current is oontiuu-
oim, so that it i never long between
ilriitks with thU bivalve, which f:ict may,
pi'rhup-i. nccouut for the origiu of tho
phrnait 'happy nn a ulam.
"Hogs ou Long Island and elsewhoro
know how to dig for clams very well.
They go out upon the flats at low water
and root wherever the pressure of their
weight causes a squirt to appear. This
is a very cheap aud profitable method of
keeping swine. In winter the clams bury
tUemselrue deeply, but icicles are ortea
found in their shells. These molluaks,
which, us human food and for bait, con
stitute an important element of the ma
rine wealth of the United States, have
Ixhu recently transplanted to the Pacific
const, being carried ucroaa the continent
Mith the oyster seed which is annually
transported in large quantities from the
Kastern State They have tlniveu
greatly, succeeding where the oysters
have' failed, and have stocked ban frail
ci.n'o 3ay with a new food Bupply.
"The PiUrim fathers and other early
colonist iu this country found the In
dian 'trending and diviug for 'round'
clams, otherwise known iu the aboriginal
tongue ui qiiuhnugs. They adopted tho
former method, and to this day their de
Hceudants iu New England can be seen
nil along the coast wadiug in the water
and feeliug with their toes for the niol
luslis, which lie buried usually iu mud
tlii.t is thickly overgrown with seaweed.
The animal always lies 1th the edge of
its hhell out of the mud, in order to
breathe, and the feeling of it to the foot
ia unmistakable. Diviug and 'treading-
for quahaugs among the Indians used to
be performed by tho squaws and older
children, such labor being beneath tho
dignily of the men. At present oyster
tongs, rakes aud dredges are employed
f ,ir the purpose. I he aborigines nianu
lac: 111 ed money out of the shells, as
well as arrow points, scrapers, spoons,
paint-holders aud other utensils. In
llii'ir time
the dalatv Indlau maize
Wva cat with clum shells out of wooden trays.
"Tho Indians in the old days were
great eaters of clams, as is proved by the
enormous deposits of the shells which re
main along U10 shores of bays and estua
ries. They dried clams, as well as oys
t.'i'H, in the sun ou pieces of bark, thus
preserving them for purposes of trade,
Tlie roust tribes, conquered by the pow
erf ul Six Nations, paid a large tribute of
oli.ni, which were regarded as a great
luxury in the interior not only the in
terior of tlie Iudian, I mean, but of tho
country. Iu the summer and fall tlie
s iviiK s ennio to the seashore for the pur
of celebraiiug their great festival of
lio ureen corn, on which occasion clams,
luecnlent cars of corn and soaweeds
were rousted together. It is from this
custom that tho modern clambake is do
li. e l. " AVniihiii uton Star.
A Scotchman w ho wanted to sell somo
:.., s luei ted Uie followiug advertlse
im ni in the local puper: "Exteuslvo
rt.lo of lire stock, comprising no lees
t 1. n one hundred and forty thousand
ii.'u l, wi;h Vn unlimited right of pas
t.ir.Wi" A Hliong solution of alum, to which
bus 1.111 added a little glycerine and
ii a euro for mosquito bites.
Music tj pa was invented in 130& ;
THE I.A1T HEIIKNADB.
HfyiAl apon no oaken stump,
Ills fiddle in his hand.
And gazed upon the wtnilow-slll
To see her small white hnnd
That rested there so lovln&ly
It made his great hcirt stand.
He murmured: 'My Mary, lovet
Art thinking, sweet, of me ?
Would I bad now wings as a hlrd
Like the little bird so free
I'd fly np to the window, love,
And slug a song for thee!"
Be ptnred his fiddle 'neath his chin,
And straightened np to playi
And "Mollis Darling!" was the song
But not upon that day
Was hoard along those bottom lands
That sweet, affecting lay.
If heard the window slowly raise i
His how he gently pressed.
And theu looked up to catch her smile.
And watch her heaving breast,
When splash went water on bis face,
And on his Sunday best.
Ptas gazed awhile, and heard a sigh.
Then slowly went below.
And ainnte her breast, and faltered outi
"Alas! 1 didn't knowt"
All that mi left ot that serenade
Was a lonesome flddle-bow.
He never earn to stng again
For Squlrs Ashton's daughter:
Be stayed at home, and fiddled not
Until ha had forgot her.
And thus ths romanne of his life
Was ended by cold waterl
Knsw lllra by Sight.
"I'm from Tucson," said the stranger,
as he sauntered up to a dreamy, long
haired man at the end of the bar, "aud
I've been looking at the sights. "
"I've been in Tucson myself," replied
the dreamy man, us they clinked glasses.
"Ulad to see a man from there. "
"That so? Know Mansfield?"
"No."
"Know Zobrowski?"
"No."
"Don't? Know Lein Hopkins?"
"Can't say I do. I wasn't there a great
while," and the dreamy man pensively
drained the glass. "But do you know
Hector Servidac?"
"No."
"Know Mart Chuzzlewit?"
"N-no."
"Don't? Know old DonQulxote?"
"No, 'less he was the Mexican that
kept the saloon."
"Naw. That wa'ut him. You don't
seem very well acquainted. Did you
know Dante, Bill Nye or Dau Deronda?"
"N-no, I don't thiuk so?"
"Look-a-hore, young feller, you don't
seem to know any prominent citizens. I
don't believe you're from Tucson. I'll
give you one more show. I never saw a
man from Tucson that didn't know ono
man, an if you don't know him take
keer, my friend, take keer. Do you
know Clive Newcome?"
"Y-yes," stammered the stranger from
Tucson, as he slid toward the door ;
"that is, I knew him by sight," and he
fled through the door. San Fraucisco
Examiner.
KfTcrtlv Ballrr.
A friend wus iu New York the other
day, and while iu tho auditor's oilice of
the Erie road saw a rather amusing
tetter. It was from a man who had a
claim of $17.50, and wanted it settled.
He had filed the claim a long while ago.
His letter to the auditor read: "I am
growing gray, waiting for that small
claim, tiled snme time ago, since which
"Annie Iiooney" lias died.
"Comrades'' have met for the last time.
"Maggie Murphy's Home" has been
Struck by lightning,
"Away Down 011 the Farm" they are
cutting the tenth crop of corn.
"Sweet Violets" liava faded, and I
myself am cot well. Yours, hopefully,
Her Ilsmludcr of an Engagement.
She (shortly after the blissful silonco
that tho delicious afllrmative brought
about) Darling, now that we are en
gaged 1 have tlie right to ask you a
question, have I not 'I
He Most certaiuly.
"And you will answer truthfully?"
"Of course."
"What Is the string tied around your
Dnger for, then?"
"Ureat heavens! To remind me that I
nm already engaged. "Portland Tele
gram. lUlUlttOh,
Col. Gorehunter Ah, iny dear Miss
Pinketiy, this is an unexpected pleasure,
to have you alone for a few moments.
Wouldn't you like to '.'.ear how I got
through tho enemy's lines to Chatta
oooga ?
Miss Pinkerly I can easily imagine,
Colonel You probably boreshyoui' way
through. Exchaugo.
Destroyed Ihe ltecord.
"Was everything lost in the fire?"
Bsked Miss Passe, whe.i she recovered
from the excitement.
"Yes, everything. "
"The family Bible?"
"Yes."
"Oh, how relieved I am. It makes mo
feel ten yews younger to hear that. " -Springfield
Graphic.
Th On With Rocks.
"So you don't believe iu the logical
candidate business, eh?"
"Me? No. I am for the geological
Candidate. "
"And what sort of candidate is that?"
"The one wiih rocks, of course. "In
dianapolis Journal.
Cae for Happiness.
"Trotter sewna to be a very happy man.
He never has iiuy bills to pay. "
"How's that?"
"No one ill ever trust him. "Judge.
Insulting.
Customer I Uh to get a pair of shoes
w hich will be comfortable the first time
I wear them.
Dealer (indignantly) We don't keep
cccoud-hund shoes, Bir. Puck.
Au Anient Atlliereut.
Miss Armu Virumque Which is your
favorite college, Mr. Italutihj Yale or
Harvard?
Charlie ftahrah (promptly Neither 1
Vassal I Puck.
f LEWIS VEESUS LEWIS. ,
' Judge Sharps had just tied together a
bundle of legal papsrs and thrust them
into a pigeon hole when a young man
came in.
"How sre you, my boy? Sit down.
What can I do for you to day ? Pre Just
got to tho end of a case which ought to
be a lesson to all young fellows, "said the
judge, all In one breath, as was his man
ner. "What case was that, judge?" asked
Lossing, as he dropped into a chair.
"Lewis vs. Lowis, action for a limited
divorce on the ground of incompati
bility, cruel treatment, and so forth.
You caw tho young woman who just
went out?"
DMiug nodded.
"That was the plaintiff. Nice sort of a
girl, well educated, refined, handsome,
and all that) but not the right sort of a
wife for the man she married. You see
shs is the only daughter of wealthy peo
ple, who had naturally gratified every
whim that came into her head. She
fell in lovo with a young man whose
respectability was his chief recommenda
tion." "Well, wasn't that the principal thing
to bs considered?" cried Lossing.
"Other things being equal, yes; but in
this case it was only one ot the principal
considerations, as you see. The young
man was as poor as he could be; ho had
only a modest salary to depend on, and
nothiug in the way of prospects. Tlie
girl's parents objected at first, but finally
consented to the match. They probably
knew she would have her way in spite
of all objections they might interpose.
You hear aud read a great deal about tho
tyranny of parents who refuse to sanc
tion marriages which they believe will
end in unhappiuess, but I tell you, my
boy, that what is called tyranny is in
many casts honest common sense and
good judgment based on experience and
observation,
" Well, they were married, and for a
short time they wore happy. Then the
young wife began to be discontented.
She missed the luxuries she had been ac
customed to enjoy. The modest home
her husband could provide for her was
so different from the elegance with
which she had been formerly sur
rounded. She began to fret. Her dis
content soon found expression in words.
Naturally, her husband became angered
at what he considered nor lack of devo
tion. " When she suggested that her parsnts
would lend fluauciai aid he became in
dignant, and insisted that she should be
content with her lot, until by bis own
efforts he could better their condition.
You can imagine that this state of affairs
soon led to something worse. Quarrels
became frequent; love was a thing of the
past. No doubt thinking herself much
abused, she left him and returned to her
parents. Then application for a separa
tion was made. All efforts to effect a
reconciliation were fruitless. Well, this
is the end. The law has sanctioned the
separation that already existed in fact;
the young woman remains with her pa
rsnts; the youug man will probably goto
ruin, for his unfortuuate marriage has
taken all ambition out of him. "
"And the lesson?" suggested Lossing.
"Dou't marry a woman who is beyond
your station financially; don't take a
wife from a mansion unless you have a
mansion in readiness for her."
"But surely all marriages of this kind
don't result as this one has done ?"
"No, probably not; there are excep
tions to every rule. I am speaking of the
rule. Yeu will find as you grow older
that it holds good in nine cases out of
ten. Marriage is too serious a matter to
enter into it lightly, and happiness too
valuable to stake it on a chance. Heir
esses are content with love in a cottage
only in novels ; in real life you seldom
find lovo that is strong enongh to conquer
all the weaknessss of human nature,
especially of female human nature. "
Lossing sat in silence for a minute or
more. The old man's word's seemed to
have impressed him deeply.
At length he asked a question he had
come to propound, receiving a reply that
made the matter clear to him, thanked
his adviser, and was about to leave,
when the judge remarked,
"By the way, my boy, if you want any
further points on that case, come to my
house this evening, and I will show you
what authorities to consult. "
"Thank you; I shall do so," Lossing
replied.
He took the kind offer rather as a mat
tor of course, for Judge Sharpe had long
ago told him to make use of his library
whenever he wished, and he had fre
quently availed himself of the permis
sion, Lossing, after leaving the judge's
office, went directly to his own, which
was in another part of the same building.
Instead of busying himself with the
papers that lay strewn about upon the
desk, he paced to and fro for several
minutes. Then he sat down, and for
at least half an hour stared vary bard at
nothing, or perhaps at the wall. Could
he have seen his own face just then he
would have been .surprised at the
change that had come over it. There
was a hopeless, despairing expression
there which would have seemed quite in
explicable to any of those who knew him
best.
"There's no other way ; I'll have to it,"
he suddenly exclaimed, at the same time
rising abruptly.
Theu he put on his hat and ooat, went
out and walked rapidly away.
The evening of that day found him at
the house of Judge Sharpe, sitting in the
library, apparently engrossed in a legal
volumo. But as he had been storing at
the same pags for the last tea minutes,
and that page happened to contain
ninroly a portion of the index, it is doubt
ful that he was as deeply engrossed as he
seemed to be.
A light Btap fell upon the carpeted
Hour behind him. A young girl bad en
tered the room. A very pretty young
girl she was, and the glad smile, that
lighted up her face when she saw the
young man mado her all the prettier.
Walter Lossing had evidently not con
fined his attention to Judge Sharpa's li
brary oa hit previous visits. If he had
the judge's daughter would not have
been so pleased to see him,
"Poring over dry legal volumes, as
usual, I see. What perplexing case
rests heavily on your mind now, Wal
ter ? Why, what ails you ? You look as
glum as if you had lost every friend in
the world."
Lossing lml turned ami risen as the
young girl spoke, and tlie ltght stream
ing upon his face showed it indeed to be
ft mirror of everything gloomy nnd dis
heartening, "It isn't a Inw case that Is troubling
me; I would it wtre only that," he re
plied with a sigh that was almost a
groan,
"What Is then? Has any mi.fortune
befallen you ?"
"Yes, a misfortune Indeed j or at least
it seems to be now. Doubtless il Is all
for the best. "
"What are you talking about ? Why
don't you toll me what is troubling
you?"
"I came for that very purpose, that I
might tell you. After this evening we
must not meet again. "
" Not meet again ? " Nellie Sharp re
peated the words slowly, as if she could
not grasp their full meaning. The color
surged to her cheeks aud then receded,
leaving her very pale. "What do you
msan, Walter? What has happened?
You cannot be In earnest "
Walter rather incoherently recounted
what Judge Sharpe had told him of the
case, Lewis vs. Lewis, and the comments
he had made on that case.
"And is that all?" asked Nellie, when
he had finished.
She smiled a little as she ssked the
question, and a close observer would
have noticed that a sigh of rslief passed
her lips.
"All? Is it not too much? Knowing
that your father holds this view, can I
do otherwise than give you up?"
"I thought you had more pluck," said
the young girl, with just a suggestion of
scorn in her voice.
"It is not a matter of courage, but of
conscience of honor. Can I go to the
man who gives me such advice bs I have
received, who tells me never to marry a
woman who is beyond my station finan
cially, and ask hint to give me his daugh
ter, who is dearer to him than all else?
lam poor; I have cone but the most
problematical prospects, while you
well, I need not sny more; you can
icsdily see my position."
"But I can't see it in the light in which
you place it. I thought you had suffi
cient faith iu me not to believe that I
would do as that dreadful woman did, of
whom my father told you. Your pros
pects are certainly better than you rep
resent them. Furthermore, my father
would yield to my wishes."
"I do not lack faith in you; Heaven
knows how strong that faith is; it is be
cause I would feel that I had acted
treacherously toward one who has been
my best friend if I held you to your
your promise, that I have decided to
do that which will take all the happiness
out of my life."
"Probably it nover occurrsd to you
that the happiness ef any one else might
suffer ; it seoms that I am not considered
at all."
"You will soon forget; you will be
happier than I could ever make you."
"Oh, certainly; we women forget so
easily; it is only the men that remember
only the hearts of men that are broken.
However, since you with it so, it is not
for me to object. "
"It is not what I wish; it is what I
must do."
"But suppose I should refuse to accept
your decision ; suppose I should assert
my rights ? Suppose I should insist, at
least, on your trying, for a term of years,
to bring your fluauciai condition up to
what you consider the proper standard?"
"It would be wrong to keep you bound
by a promise to one who would have to
struggle, perhaps for years, and might
fail at last. "
"I see it is vain to reason with one wbo
Ls unreasonable; it shall be as you wish."
Just then Judge Sharpe entered the
room, and the painful meeting was
abruptly ended.
A few months after, Judge Sharpe's
clerk came into Walter Lossing's office
one day and told him the- judge wanted
to see him.
It seemed to Walter that the judge
looked unusually stern when he re
sponded to the tatter's summons a few
minutes later.
"Come in here, I want to talk to you,"
said the jude, as be motioned to Wal
ter. "Sit down. I will come to the
point at once. I am instructed by a cli
ent of mine, to bring suit against you.
We have the clearest kind of a case, and
should certainly win in the courts, but
we desire to give you an opportunity to
compromise the matter. " ,
"A suit? Why, who could want to
bus me? I owe nothing, there is no
cause. "
"Never was more serious. There is a
cause, and a good one; as you will
learn presently, my client's case is flaw
less, she "
"She? Ah! I see. Some blackmailing
scheme; some adven "
"There, there, don't get excited; it's
nothing of the kind. The plaintiff in the
case is eminently respectable, as you will
admit. "
"Who is she? What is the cause of
action? Why don't you tell me atone?"
"The causa of action is breach of
promise," said the judge, impressively
"Breach of promise! Why, I never"
" Perhaps you can guess the plaintiff's
name now, " suggested the judge. " You
see," continued he, as Walter still sat
as one stricken dumb, "the young lady
thinks that you have been influenced by
something that was Bsid to you, in a
general way, by one who intended no
specific application of his remarks; that
she believes that, if the matter is pre
sented to you iu the proper light, no ex
treme measures will be necessary to
make you see that you were altogether
wrong iu arriving at a certain decision,
based on the case ot Lewis vs. Lewis. I
neod a partner; I have more work than
I can manage aloue. I think you are
just the kind of a man I want. "
Germany is experimenting on paper
rails.
A Diabolical Outrage.
Mrs. Woman's Uighter If tbey refuse
to pass the measure I do3ire I'll cause the
meeting to adjourn.
Her Friend How can you do that'.
You are not President.
Mrs. Woman's Righter I hnve-a mouse
in this box, and if they don't do as 2
wuut them I'll set it loose. Exchange.
Hurt lis the Rush.
Mr. Gotham So you arc one of the
Western boomers ?
Westerner Yes. I am now 00 my
way to a hospital. I got hurt ia the
rush.
Mr. Gotham Ah, yes, the rush for
lands,
Westerner No, the rush to got away.
Exchange.
Living Proof.
Doctor Jolicoso What's the matter,
my good fellow? Trying to be ill?
Goodfellow They say I have typhoid
fever.
Doctor Jolicoso Typhoid feverl Bad
thing. One of two things follows: Pa
tient always dies or ia left an idiot. I've
bad it; I know, Judge.
Baelly Damaged.
Mrs. Bingo I shall have to get a new
walking dress, my dear. This one is
worn out.
Bingo But you got it only the other
day.
Mrs. Bingo I know it but I walked
through two dry-goods stores yesterday.
Delayed,
He I thought the bride and groom
were going to start right off oa their
wedding trip, instead of waiting.
She They were. But she had to
change her wedding dress for a travelling
gown, and they didn't get started until
the next day. Cloak Review.
Doubly Good.
A little nonsense now and then
Is relished by tht best of men;"
The other feature of this question
Is that It helps along dlgeatton.
Harper's Bazaar.
A Cold Day.
Mrs. De Silke I wish to give a memo
rial of some kind to the church, in mem
ory of a relative. What would you sug
gest? Struggling Pastor A er an appro
priately decorated er new church fur
nace, madam, and a a few tons of
coal. New York Weekly.
If Present Volume la Constant
ttuantltr.
Mamma Yes, Tommy ; the heavenly
Sabbath has no end.
Tommy Then the angels can read the
Sunday papers before tbey get old, can't
they ? Tid Bits.
A drove One, Too
"I see," observed Mrs. McSwilHgen, as
she looked up from the Chivnicl&Tele
graph last evening, "that Garza has been
located at Key West. "
"Yes," replied her husband, "bat
whether or not it is the right man ia a
Key West-ion. "Texas Sittings.
Ths Head of tho Family.
Snively So Hunker and Miss Fosdick
are married, are they?
Suod grass Yes.
Snively Who was the best man at the
wedding?
Snodgra8s Miss Fosdick. Judge.
Tue Wicked Nurse.
Little Girl Oh, mamma, you'll have
to send dat new nurse off. She's awful
wicked.
Mamma licrrors I What does she do?
Little Girl She tells us Bible stories
on week days.
Every Little Helps.
Raven Your w ife's mother helps her
a great dca-1, doesn't she?
Uagley Yes, she has gone in to town
Dow to buy a dress to match some but
tons her mother gave her. Tid-Bits.
CARTER'S
1TTLC
PlLjaS;
OR!
pick Eeodaebaand relieve all the troubles fccf
ilont to a bilious state o( the s ystoni, uoh c4
Dizziness, Nausea, Drowsiness, Distress arte?
ratlug, Tain in the Bide, Ico. Wbila thoir meat
raiiirlubld success baa been shown iu ciulcg ,
neaJflcba, yet Carter's TJttls Liver Tins ara
equally valuablo in Constipation, enrinu saJ pia
Venting tills annoylngeoraplaiiit, while Mwy ala
correct all disordorsof thestoiuaoU.stim-aUt tUo
liver tad regulate tliebowels. Even U Uwj ou!?
Arts they wonld boalniostprloslfisato tTinrn wvo
sudor from this dutrossln compliant; but for la
fciiely thoirnoodness does notond hore,aml LLotn
Whooncatry thsmwUl find those little pills valu.
r.Me in so many ways that thoy will not bo wil
laij to Uo without them. But after allaicli b4
'isthebaneof ao many Uvea that herelnwfc'M
vauakeonr great boaat. Our piuaoureitwhilj
ethers do not. . ...
. Carter's tittle TJyer Pills are very smsil ami
very easy to take. One or two pills wake a ddsa.
Thoy ara striotly vegetable aud do not gi Ip or
i-nrge, but by Uielr goutle acUon pleasaull who
tuethem. In vialsataSoentai live for $1. Dl
ty drutjutati everywhere, or seat by uaU.
'CARTER WEOICINI CO., New YorV.
jinALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE
AV AKISIS " prtvos Instant
rt-lii-t ami is an imiiiiinis
Cure Tor Piles. Price $1. Hy
liruLTKistsormHll. SuiiiiIi4
rrw.A.l.l(ss"AJiAkr:SlS,
llox S41U, New York City.
"I
Mi
1 1 1
j
FT EH eft
nm
LAFAYETTE COLLEGE,
EASTON, PA.
Sflven courses In Arts, Philosophy and Science,
Civil, Mining and KU-ctrical Kni;liieerlnii, and
Clii'inistry. Annual ('oniniL-iU'ciiu'iit, June wtti.
Kali term Ik'kIiis rk'ptenibiT lMh. tor Cat
alogue, uddrcss
THE KEG13TKAK, Eastcc, Pa.
'itslmruU. ra. G; A. Macucth Co.