COURTSHIP RECALLED.
SELECTIONS FROM THE WRITINGS
OF ART EM US WARD.
Bty Wm Sensible, Jiol Sfiillnints1. hot
HikH a Good Wife M' riggers Mom
Klrvntln Than Shakexpoer The Show
man Lecture the 'ree Lovers.
OnpjTlchtoJ ami nublMml br special nrning
ment with U. W. Dillingham, New York, pub
lisher. V.
TUB SHOWMAN'S COURTSHIP.
HARE are many affect! n
ties which make me hanker
artor Beby Jane. Her fa
ther's farm jinod onr'n;
their cows and onr'n
sqnencht their thurst at
the same spring; oar old mares both had
stars in their forreds; the measles broke
oat is both fainerlios at nearly the samo
period; our parients (Betsy's and mine)
slept reglarly every Sunday in the same
raeetin house, and the nabors used to ob
sarve, "How thick the Wards and Teas
leys air!" It was a snrblime site, in the
spring of the year, to see oar st-vral
mothers (Betsy's and mine) with their
gowns pin'd np so thay couldn't sile em,
aff ocshunitly Bilin sope together & abooz
in the nabors.
Altho I hankered intensly arter the
object of my anTecshuns I danrunt tell
her of the fires which was raj in in my
manly Buzzutn. I'd try to do it, bat
my tung would kerwollop up agin the
roof of my raowth & stick thar, like
doth to a deseast Afrikau or a country
postmaster to his offiss.
Twas a carm still nite in Joon. All
nater was husht and nary a reffer dis
turbed the sereen silens. I sot with
Betsy Jane on the fense of her farther's
pastur. We'd bin rompin threw the
woods, kullin flours & driving the wood
churck from his Nativ Lair (so to speak)
with long sticks. Wall, we sot thar on
the fense, a swingin our feet two and
fro, bloshia as red as the Baldinsrille
stool house when it was fast painted,
and lookin very simple, I make no deubt.
My rite arm was ockepied in ballansing
myself on the fense, while my left was
woundid lavinly round her waste.
I cleared my throat and tremblinly
sad, "Betsy, you're a Gaaelle."
"You're a sheepl"
Ses I, "Betsy, I think very mtichly of
yon."
"I don't bleeve a word you say so
there now cumf"
"I wish thar was winders in my Sole,"
sed I, "so that you could see some of
myfeelins. There's fire enuff In here,"
sed I, strikin my bnzznm with my fiat,
"to bile all the corn beef and tornips in
the naberhood. Versoorios and the Crit
ter ain't a circumstansr
She bowd her hod down and com-
menst chawin the strings of her sun
bonnet.
"Ar could you know the sleeplis nitea
I worry threw with on your account,
how Tittles has seized to be attractiv to
me & how my lima has shrank up, you
wouldn't dowt me, Oase on this waatin
form and these 'ee sunken cheeks"
I should have continnered on in this
strane probly for sum time, bat nnf ort
uttly I lost my baQanse and fell over
into the pastor kersmash, tearin' my
close and sereerly damagin myself gine
rally. Betsy Jane sprang to my assistance in
dabble quick time and dragged me 4th.
Then drawin herself np to her full hite
she said:
"I won't listen to your noncents no
longer. Jes say rite strata out what
you're drivin at If you mean gettin
hitched, I'm in!"
I considered that air enuff for all prac
tical purpusses, and we proceeded imine
jitoly to the parson's, & was made 1 that
very nite.
(Notiss to the Printer: Put some stars
here.)
I've parst threw many tryin ordeela
sins then, but Betsy Jane has been troo
as steel. By attendin strickly to bizniss
Iv'e umarsed a handsuxa Pittance. No
man on this footstool can rise & and git
up & say I ever knowinly injered no man
or wiminin folks, while all agree that
my Show is ekalled by few and exceld
by none, embracin as it does a wonder
ful colleckshun of livin wild Beesta of
Pray, suuix in grate profushun, a end
less variety of life-size wax figgirs, &
the only traned kangaroo in Ameriky
the most amooziu little cuss ever iutro
joced to a discriminatin public.
WAX FIGURES VS. SHAKESPEARE.
Mr. Editor: 0NT T"" W'n 1858
T . T j , . . . -
""oaujr i-ou in nana 10 lniona ya
that I'm in good helth and trust these
few lines will find yu injoyin the same
hluesins. I wood also state that I'm now
on the summir kampane. As the Poit
ses
Ime erflote, loio erflota
Od the Bwift rolUii tied "
Ao the Kuvir is free.
BiznlKs is scarcely middlin, but Sirs I
manige to pay for my foode and a rai
ment puncktooally and without no
grumblin. I'm travelin with a teut,
wldch is better nor hirin hauls. My
how koiisiats of a sorious of wax works,
nakiis, a panerainy kalled a Grand
tfovin Diarea of the War in the Cry
near, komio songs und the Cangeroo,
wich lorst little cuss continuers to kon
duct hissolf in the most outrajus stile.
I starti'd out with h- Ucir of makin
tny sho-.v a jcreto Mu;;l llatcrtahiment,
but I'm kompi'lod to swaru so much at
that air infurn.-il Kangaroo that Pm
frado this uVjino will bo flustratcd to
soiuo txtent. And whilo spoakin of
morrality, romines mo that snm folks
turn v.p their nosis at shows like mino,
savin they is low and not fit to be pator
nized by people of high degree. Sirs, I
inauetano that this is infernal nonpnnne.
I inanotano that wax Aggers is more ele
vatin than awl the plays ever wroten.
Take Shakeppeer for instunoe. Peple
think hezo grate things, but I kontend
ht'se quit the reverse to the kontrary.
What sort of senso is thare to King
Leer, who goze round cumin his dar
ters, chawin hay and throin straw at
folks, and larfia like a silly old koot nnd
making a ass of hisnelf ginerally? Tliare's
11 rs. Mackbcth slieze a nwe kiml of
woomon to have round ain't she, a put
tin old Mack, hor huHband, up to slayin
Dunkau with a chooze knife, while heza
payin a frondly visit to thoir house. O
its hily morral, I spozc, when sho larfs
wildly and sez. "gin rue the daggers
lie let his bowels out," or words to that
efl'eck I say, this is awl strickly prop
per I spozc? That Jack Fawlstarf is
likewise a immoral old cnas, take him
bow ye may, and ILimlick is as crazy as
a loon.
But I mnst stop. At snm f utur time I
shall con tinner my remakson the dramer
in which I shall show the varst superior
ity of wax figgers and snakes over the
ater plays, in aintcrlectooal pintof view.
Very Respectively yuros,
A. Ward, T. K.
AMONG TUB FREE LOVERS.
Some quoer people, calling themaolrea "Pre
Loci" and pamoKiing very orijlnal iileai about
life and morality, established themHel'i at Ber
lin nnlgbta. In Ohio, a few year since. Public
opinio wai msiitluialy araiuat them, howerer,
and the aMoclatiua waa aooo disbanded.
Some years ago I pitched my tent and
onfurlod my banner to the breeze, in
Berlin Hitos, Ohio. I had beam that
Berlin IIits was ockepied by a extensive
seek called Freo Lovers, who beleeved in
affincrtys and sich, goin back on their
domestic tics without no hesitation
whatsomever.
I Bot up my tent in a field near the
Love Cure, as thoy called it, aud bime
by the free lovers begun to congregate
around the door. A ornreer set 1 have
never sawn. The men's faces were all
covered with hare and they lookt half
starved to deth. The wiinin was wuss
than the men. They wore trowsis, short
gownds, straw hats with green ribbms,
aud all carried bloo cotton umbrellers.
Presently a perfeckly orful lookia
female presented herself at the door.
Hergownd was skanderlusly short and
her trowsis waa shameful to behold.
She eyed me over very sharp, and
then startin back she sed, in a wild
voice:
"Ah, can it be?"
"Which?" sedL
"Yes, 'tis troo, O 'tis troo!"
"15 cents, raarm," I anserd.
She bust oat a cry in & sed:
"And so I have found you at larst at
hirst. O ut larst!"
"Yes." I anserd, "you have found me
at larst, and you would hav found me at
fust if you had cum sooner."
She grabd me vilcntly by the coat col
lar, and brandishin her nmbreller wild
ly round exclaimed:
"Air you a man?"
Sez I, "I think I air, but if you doubt
it you can address Mrs. A. Ward, Bal-
dinsville. Iniiaanv. nostaira tuuln. & oh
will probly give you the desired infor-
masnun.
"Then thou 1st what the cold world
rjllla in firri rV
"Madam, I istest!"
The exsentric female then clutched me
franticly by the arm and hollered:
"You air mine, O you air mine!"
"Scarcely," I sed, endeverin to git
loose from her, but she clung to me and
sed:
"You air my Affinertyt"
"What upon arth is that?" I shouted.
"Dost thou not know?"
"No, I dostent!"
"Listin man, & I'll tell ye!" sed the
strange female; "for years I hav yearn
ed for thee. I knowd thou wast in the
world, Bumwhares, tho I didn't know
whare. My hart sed he would cum and
I took courage. He hat cum he's here
you air him you air my Afflnertyl O
'tis too mutchl too mutch!" and she
sobbed agin.
"Yes," 1 answered, "I thluk it is a
darn site too mutch!"
"Hast thou not yearned for me?" she
yelled, ringin her hands like a female
play acter.
"Not a yearn!" I bellerd at the top of
my voice, throwin hor away from me.
The free lovers who was standin round
obsarvin the scene commenst for to hol
ler "shame." "beast," etaettery, etsett
ery. I was very mutch riled, and fortifyin
myself with a spare tent stake, I addrest
thorn as toilers: "You pusaylanermus
critters, go way from tae and take this
retchid woman with you. I'm a law
abidin man, and beleevo in good, old
fashioned institutions. I am marrid &
myorfsprings resemble me if I am a
showmanl I think your Affinity bizuiss
is cussed noncents, besides bein out
rajusly wicked. Why don't you behave
desunt like other folks? Go to work and
earn a honist livin and not stay round
here in this lazy, shiftless way, pizouin
the moral atmosphere with your pestif
rous ideee! You wiinin folks go back to
your lawful husbands If you've got any,
and take orf them skanderlous gownds
and trowHis, and dress respectful like
other wimin. You men folks, cut orf
them pirattercal whiskers, burn up them
infurncl pamDlits. nut sum WHHlrntM nr.
go to work choppin wood, splittin fence
rtties, or luiin tne site." I pored 4th my
inditmashun in this wav till I rt nnf r.
breth,.whon I stopt. I shant go to Ber
liu Hitos agin, not if I live to be as old
as Methooseler.
A Ills of Natural Philosophy.
Tuuujig uobfconiun x es, you have a
good town here, but you're a long way
i-roui sue hud,
New Yorker That'B why things move
faster over here. Life.
I A r MOUNTAIN MEADOW.
BRIEF STORY OF THE MASSACRE
THAT SHOCKED THE WORLD.
One Hundred and Twenty Cnnrmert Men,
Women, and Children Wantonly Itutrti
en d by Indians and White Men I)l
s;iiipd nil Indians Aid r-otiglit for the
Kiirvlvors.
Aii ntt-ii pt is now being made to give
C iiivreMfiioiiiil ai l to those who were
-'veil at tho time ( the Mountain
M Mibw massacre in 1857. That teiri
1. 1' slaughter of innocent women mil
i lii dr n, as well ns of tinnrino 1 men,
lin k piuce so loud ago that but few now
ii'iiiember nny of the details surround
ing it, A band of emigrants number
ing, it is variously stated, from 120 to
I5il, lul l started from Arkansas to reach
tliu j. oil field if California. Their
train consisted of sotnu COO head of rat
tle, 30 wugoim, and ISO unties and horses,
and the total value of their vH!,es8ion8
n between $00,000 and f70,0i)0.
They bad pruceivled as far as Cedar
City, Utah, and it was alleged that dur
ing their Journey from Salt Lako t'ily
to that place the emigrant had been
guilty of poisoning hticanis and of com
muting other outrages. These charge,
it is believed, had no foundation, but
were brought to cast reflection upon the
emigrants and to enable the Mormons to
throw the responsibility of the crime
upon the Indians.
Thealtack commenced on Sunday, and
the emigrants at once placed their
wagons iu a circle, dug a pit in the
center, in w hich they placed their w ives
nn.l children, and pit pared to stand a
siege. In this way lliey offered more
resistance than was expected and with
stood the attack for four days. Ihiring
this time their aininunition gave out
and many sutTered intensely from thirst,
for water could only be obtained at
night, and the trip to the creelc, although
but a i-hort distance, was attended with
great j eril, ns the approach was covered
by the In Hans
Finally a company of Mormon militia
appeared, and ono of their utimler was
sent forward with a fingof truce. These
Mormons agreed to protect the emi
grants if they would lay down their
in ins iiml ammunition to avoid for, her
exciting the Indians, Tliii was doiio.
John IJ. Lee, who was afterward exe
cuted for being the principal participator
in this horrible crime, in his confession
gave the following as the plan of the
inaHsiicre, w hich ho assert 'd wm ar
ranged and ordered by high Mormon
officials.
It was arranged that L"e shoti'd con
clude terms "with the einigranls, and is
soon as they bad delivered tho. t solves
into the power of the Mormons should
start for a rauche on the eastern siilu of
the meados with the wagons and
anus, the young children, and the sick
and wounded The men aud Wonieu,
the latter in front, were to follow the
wagi tis, all in single file, ai d on each
de of them the militia were to be
drawn up two deep, aud with 20 paces
between their lines. Within 200 yards
if the camp the men were to be brought
to a bait until ti e women approached
a copse of tcrub oak about a mile dis
tant, and near to which Indiaus lay in
ambush. The men were now to re
sume their march, the militia forming
in single file, each one walking by the
side of au emigrant, and curry his
musket on the left arm. As soon as
the women were close to the ambus
cade Uigbee, one of the Mormon lead
ers, w ho w as in chargo of I lie detach
ment, was to give the signal by saying
to the o unmml: "Do your duly,"
whereupon the militia were to shoot
down the men, the Indiaus were to
slaughter the women and children,
sparing only those of toud r age, aud
Leo with some of the wagoners was to
butcher the sick and wounded. Mounted
troopers were to be in readiness to pur
sue aud slay those who attempted to
escape, so that, with the exception of
infants, no living soul should be left to
tell the tale of the massacre.
This diabolical program was fully car
ried out to the letter. All the men.
women, and children over seven yeai
of age were butchered and but 17 lives
were spared. These were of children
varying iu age from two months to
seven years. All the stock and prop
erty w ero carried off and the bodies of
the dead weie stripped and robbed of
every ornament or money found on
them.
But the lamest attempt was made to
bury tho victims. A little earth was
scattered over the Lodies, but the first
rain washed that away and the remains
Lccame a prey to the wolves and coy
otea Many of the bodioi were fright
fully mutilated and when, two years
afterward, a detachment of United
Stales troops was sent to decently inter
them skulls and bones were found scat
tered for the space of a mile around the
ravine, whence they had been dragged
by wild beasts. Nearly all the bodies
had been gnawed by wolves so thut few
could be recognized and their dismem
bered skeltons were blenched by louir
exposure. Many of ihu skulls were
crushed in with tho butt ends of mus
kets or cleft with tomahawks; other
were shattered by firearms discharged
close to tho bead A few remnants of
apparel, torn from the backs of women
and children, still fluttered among tho
bushes, anal near by were masses of hu
mun hair, matted aud trodden in the
mold.
These bones were carefully gathered
together and buried, and over them w as
built a cone shaped cairn some 12 feet
in height, and leaning against its north
ern base was pluced a rough slab of
granite w ith the followiug inscription:
"Here 120 men, women, and children
were massacred in cold blood early iu
September. 1857. They were from Ar
kansas." The cairn was surmounted by
a cross of cedar on which were inscribed
tho words: "Vengeance is mine: I will
repay, saith the Lord."
The 17 children who were saved wore
placed in charge of Mormon families
at Cedar, Harmony, and elsewhere and
were all rescued after about a year's
captivity. I
A IMMHI-KKH'KllS' TltlST,
Cooperative Conking and Table Service
In Knrcniul Operation.
There Is nothing so perplexing in tho
w hole round of housekeeping, says tho
New York Ilrrahl, as the question of
food, 'I he lord of the manor must have
food well prepared nnd well nerved, but
the scarcity of good cooks at reasonable
w news precludes such a condition in most
families of moderate circumstances. It
would seem, therefore, that a plan which
would closo the kitchen entirely, reduce
the force of servants, nnd lessen the cost
of living, while at the Bame time bring
ing a better service at tin nls, w ould
bo something Utopian an "iridescent
dream. "
But the dream after nil is not a dream.
The problem is solved, and its solution
is so simple nnd satisfactory that the
wonder is it was not made clear befcee.
Some weeks since tho beads of fire
Utica, N, Y. , families entered into an
agreement after mature deliberation un
der which provision whs made for leas
ing nnd furnishing a bouse, employing
cook nnd servants, and making ni range
incuts for a trial of cooperative house
keeping iu so far as the iliuin rroom and
kitchen were concerned. Tho gentle
tin li interested are all business men in
moderate circumstances, w ho bad come
to the conclusion that IsMter sen icn at
loss cost could be obtained in this way
than by the usual individual hoiisckec)
ing method. Choiming a president,
secretary, and a treasury aud a "board
of governors," the gentlemen set them
selves to work. The first thing to lo
done was to draft a compact by which
all were bound to give the plan a trial
of three months. All are so well satis
fied that there will bo no changes at the
end of that time, three weeks hence. In
the original nuinls?r 22 persons were in
cluded, which number hss leeii niif
menied t nearly 50, as many as can 1 e
accommodated iu the present quarters.
In the U"gintiing it was nec -ssary to
purchase an entire new out lit of kitchen
and dining loom fumbuiv, ns well as
the conveniences for the cook and five
waiters, who, iu addition to their regu
lar duties, look after the bouse which
they occupy, rented by tho cluU A
con peleul cook of many years ex-
eriniee was employed, into whose
Charge the full managem, lit of i lfa rs
was given, with the exception if the
purchase of food, which duly devolves
Upon t.iio of the club, designated by the
1 resident at the beginning of each
mi nth. Books are kept in which is
entered every cent ' f expenditure, and
they a r j balanced at the end if the
month, when au assessment is levied
upon each li. ember, und all accounts
are i ;iiiivil. During the first lew
weeks of the life of the club tho assess
ments were necessarily soniehat
heavier than they are at present As
regards the table, tho very best of
everything is provided, with nil tho
delicacies iu season, w hile no extrava
gance is ci tiiitenanced by any tiieinU r.
If tiny inemler brings vUitoi-s they
li list ic paid for at the rate of 25 cents
per meal, nnd notice must be given
beforehand of the.r comii g The
system hs.H been I roiight so far on the
road to peifectioii that it wotdd be in
deed iiiP.ii ult to iiiiike it better iu nny
w ay.
At present the amount levied upon
each person is a trdlu le-s than 3a week,
and those iu charge confidently expect
to reduce this to $2.50, when greater
knowledge is acquired by experience.
This assessment is very small indeed,
w hen the quality of the service is con
sidered. The bill of fare can not be dup
licated iu nny first class boarding house
for twice or threo times $3. Besides
this, wives und daughters are released
from the care of kitchens nnd dining
rooms, aud the worry incident to the
supervision of cooks und other servants,
too often incompetent, is a thing of the
past. The only iuconvciibmce, which is
slight by comparison, is the in c ssity of
leaving homes to take meals in the co
operative club house. All those in
terested, however, live near by and
count this as nothing.
A Trifle Simp clous.
I arrived in a small town in Kentucky
late at night w ith three other men aud
w hen we reached the hotel two of us
w ere assigned to a room. The one I got
bad two beds in it, however, and I was
not disposed to find fault My room
mate seemed to bo a suspicious sort of a
chap and when I tumbled into bed. with
a good night to him, he scarcely deigned
a reply, I was asleep in 10 minutes,
but two hours later I awoke to Und him
still sitting in Ids chair and wide aw ake.
"Hello! What nils you? " I askod.
"Nothing. "
"Troubled with insomnia?"
"No."
"Sleep all day?"
"No."
"Afraid of me?"
"To bo honest with you, strangor, I
am, lie admitted.
"That seonis funny. Do I look like d
thief?"
"No, you don't; but I have done some
figuring in this. You gave the landlord
your w allet and w atch, didn't you?"
-Yes."
"Well, there's more value than ho has
probably ever seen before. He'll skip
with your stuff before daylight. "
-Well!"
"Aud then you'll have to rob mo to
get on. Stranger, I'm a man as don't
never take no chances. I've got a ro-
von er here, and the first move you make
to get out of bed I'll plug youl"
"1 can turn over, can t I?
"Yes, but be powerful careful about
it, for I'm up to Bnuff, "
1 turned over and went to sleon again.
and when morning came, his moving
arouud awoke me. I tried to joke him,
but he w as sour and morose and wouldn't
take it When we went down stairs it
was to find the colored help sitting iu
the early sun, with no move toward
breakfast
"What's the matter?" I asked,
"Mars has dun ttiue au' left de
place in de night, aud dai's nobody to
boBs!" was the reply.
My room mate had figured "right
bui art "
CLOT MIN 1 CLOTH We
10 Per Cent, Rei;liiotioii
V1 ARE SELLING OUIi STOCK OE
Winter and Spring Clothing,
ALSO
Gents Furnishing Goods, at a re
duction of io per cent.
Call at once and secure bargains. Our stock is new and all
of the Latest I'atterns. You can Save from $2.00 to $5.00 on
every suit you buy.
This is POSITIVELY the best chance of BUYING
CLOTHING ever offered in Hloomsburg.
We have also a fine lot of cloths from which we can make
Suits to Order.
WE GUARANTEE SATISFACTION
in our make cf clothing both as to quality and style.
Come while this reduction lasts.
Bloomsburg, Fa,
IY 111
anu u
M ifi Ann 1
I IAIW0, Villi
J. SALTZER'S
MUSICAL MM I WR Mill WAREROOMS.
With many years experience in buying and selling musical instruments
and sewinc mach nes I can cru.ir.mtep tn .b.i. ' . . msirumfnis
v ; , 0 "uoiuiucis mc Dest in the markets
Piano, and Organs purchased of me, can be relied upon. If anuhirg KcV
out of order, it can easily be corrected, and a great deal of annoyance Lved
ISSSb. glVCn l P" " f SCWing MaCh'neS' hW toSSSteto
The STECK PIANO U the Lest made. its tone is surpassed
by none. ou make no mistake if you buy a Stcckf
Ave ba-e also the J
ESTEY and the STARR
PIANOS, ,
And The
ESTEY, MILLER and
UNITED STATES
ORGANS.
We sell Pianos from $co tn
In Sewing Machines we
i.vi
r t.tr.
mm
1 1 ,i iiTTftp.'ipr-,
tomtom
lima
We sell the best Sewing Mach
ine made for $19.50.:
Jj'., Saltzer, Rloamsburg, Pa
DEALER IN
Foreign and Domestic
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Bloomsburq, Pa.
E VANE & EYEB,
COMER i!ll,V M'D IRON STRUJS.
l II I A I. ill II HI A
urn nu m
II
can give you the Celebrated
" WHITE"
The best Machine in the world.
The'
NEW DOMESTIC,
The ROYAL ST. JOHN,
The STANDARD
ROTARY
And the NEW HOME.