LIGHT AND AIRY.
A Broken Mirror.
The silver circled looking glass
I kt Into mj Dora's keeping
Is lyina; nhnturpd now, alaal
And so my dearest girl I weeping.
Poen all thin grief her bnaora swell
Because her pretty my I broken,
Or foam she lost the lone foretell
The death of him who pnve the token f
In either ease, could Dora nee
How cry plain she look when frying.
She'd weep for neither glass nor me, '
Though one were manned and one were
dying.
8. St. 0. Lawrence In Life.
Inntmetlng Ilia Bponm.
"They are making car wheels of paper
now," remnrked Mrs. Hojack as she looked
tip from the newspaper.
"Yes," replied the husband, "and locomo
tives, too."
"Yon don't tell me!"
"Certainly. Have you never heard of
stationery engines?" Chicago Iutcr
Ooearj. In the Ilullway Station. I
"Well, well; hurry tip, there," said the
Information clerk, impatiently. "What i
It you want?"
"If you please, sir," returned the sar
castic traveler, "I want to know it all.'
You're the gentleman who can tell it,
aren't you?" Harper's Bazar.
The Good Old Times.
How doth the busy Used-to-be,
Approve each bygone minute,
tJntil the humbled present feels
The come-down that is in It
Hnw gleefully he nibs It In
To latter days because
There' nothing extant now to match
The Golden L'se-to-was!
C. F. L. In Puck.
Ills Only Chnnee.
Benevolent Person (to old tramp) You
ought to be ashamed of yourself to lie beg
ging at your ago.
Tramp (indignantly) How in thunder
can I beg at any other age now, I'd like to
know. Gimme a nickel. Washington
Star.
ICncouragtnK llira.
IVtpn I'm sorry, Huns, that your school
report is so bad. I hope you will do better
next time.
"That's right, papa; keep up your cour
age. Let hope be the last tiling you lose."
t'liegeudo Blatter.
A Great Truth.
Oh, why should the spiritof mortal be prond?
The largest of men Is soon lost in the crowd;
And the mas who is talked about inoet never
knows
That tuo world only records the fit of his clothes.
Bore's the truest of all things about man e'er
said:
The world never makes a man great till he's
dead."
Chicago Mail.
Go West. '
Mother Now that you have become a
chiropodist, whero are you going to settle?
Ambitious Youth I think, mother, I'll
go to Nebraska. All the papers say that
it is a great corn state. Good News.
Chance for Argument.
Private Citizen I think those telegraph
poles ought to come down. They are un
sightly and dangerous.
Telegraph Oflicial Y-e-a, but think of
the shado they give. Good News.
What the Shop Girl Wants.
She stood in a store down town.
She was both young and fair;
But her faco wore a savage frown
As well as lines of oare.
When I managed to reach her side
I asked her what she'd like heat
For a present, and then she cried,
"O, heavens! give me rest I"
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Catting; Off Discussion.
Barber You are getting quits bald, sir.
Can't I recommend something for your
head?
Mr. Hurry Why, yes; I'd like my hat
as soon as possible. Puck.
A Froulem. . .,,
Mathematicians figure that a man 60
years old has spent three years buttoning
his collar. How much time has been con
sumed by a woman of 45 in putting her bat
on straight? Life.
As to Nerve.
"As nervous as a cat." men say,
' Yet nothing is less true.
For Derrousmss in any sense
' The cat tribe never knew. -To
stand a nightly hall of clubs,
Coal, bootjacks, all the breed,
Yet never scare, but keep right on,
Requires grout nerve iudeed.
Philadelphia Times.
Too Much for Tliam.
Snougrass (us the band begins to play)
There's music in the air.
Snively There may be, but the band
doesn't seem able to get it out, Harper's
Uuzur.
They Ilav To.
"Deaf and dumb peoplo nre more or less
superstitious."
"Wliyv"
"Becauso they taliovo In signs." West
Shore.
Ills Flement.
The oyster is a uoUe llsh,
lint raniwt swim a uiiui;
IIu has nu (Ins, ho lias uotull,
lie lias no teelh to bite; ,
But t ill lio swims with purfoct ease,
A inl yet, 'tis strange to say,
lie never glides uliout the sea,
But in ihu consomme.
Brooklyn Ufa
Advice to Bad Husbands.
TERESA H. DEAN TF.U.S MEN TO CULTI
VAT E THE COMPANIONSHIP OF THEIR
WIVES.
Here is some advice to bad hus
bands. The "models," ideal or genu
ine, can take care of themselves. If
you can't be a "model," be honest.
Cultivate a feeling of good comrade
ship with your wife. Unless too many
years have gone by for you to succeed
in making her over, you will find that
you can have just as good a time with
her and at the same time retain a self
respect that never comes in cultivating
the ' comt ados'' that know your real
self so much better than does your
wife.
As for her, it will not unsex her to
become better acquainted with you,
but it will lift the shadows of suspicion
from her heart, suspicions that come
crowding in because she knows there
is something lacking in her life. The
clouds pile up, and, being a true wo
man, there is no way for her to fill the
cd to men, and there is nothing to pre
void, while you as a man are protected
by sot'ietys lenient rules that are extend
vent your seeking jolly companionship
somewhere else.
And about these' 'jolly companions."
Don't take it for granted that because
some woman not your wife-is will
ing to chat with you. laugh with you
or indiscreet enough to lunch with
you, she is lost to all that is true, loyal
and womanly. It is possible that her
heart has ached as your wife's is ach
ing, and that she is willing to listen to
your empty vows of tnendship because
of a knowledge that her own husband
has found a charm in the society of
other women-women whose society is
made valuable as much from the fact
that it is forbidden by the convention
alities of society as anything else.
Respect the individual rights of
other people-even if one of them hap
pens to be your wife. Don't think
because you believe one thing and she
another that you are right and she is
wrong. One hour's practical experi
ence is better than years of knowledge
gained theoretically. And somehow
or other she may have picked up
knowledge that can open the pathway
even to you. From the Chicago
Jlerald.
The First Boat on the North Branch
Canal,
"I can say that I drove the first
team that pulled a boat on the canal,"
remarked a gentleman to a Jlecord
representative last Friday. "It was in
the Fall ot 1857, after my father,
Simeon S. Brown, (my own name is
Ebenezer Sturdevant Brown having
been named after the late Gen. Sturde
vant), had completed the first boat
and called it the John C. Fremont,
we run it down from Skinner's Eddy
to Coxton, expecting to sell it, but the
ice caught us and the boat was aband
oned until spring, when I took it to
Wilkesbarrt. Late in the fall of 1858
I drove the team that hauled the first
load of coal carried through the canal.
I had three horses and drove them
tandem. As I arrived ' at Towanda
the bridge was just completed and had
part of the plank laid. - Seeing the
first boat approach the builder put
down additional-plank and I drove my
team, the first of any over the bridge
into the borough of Towanda. I fol
lowed the canal for a few years and
then started out in other business.
Really it is astonishing .to see the
great advances that have ' been made
since that year." Wilcesbarre lit
cord.
The IIelKlit of Iirnlty.
Sanso Is he a dignified man!'
ltodd Well. I should suy he is. Why,
that man could step uu a banana peel with
out losing his dignity. Muusey'n Weekly.
, i
A Natural Inference.
He A man who lives in the country ho
u ebanca to think.
She You have always lived In the city,
have you not? Munsey'a Weekly.
Itetter to Look Ahead.
Before you ask the merry moid
To stick t you thro' thick and thin.
See that you littvu your plans well laid
To get a house to put her in.
l'ituburjf Dispatch.
Juvenile Ksperlenees.
Country Hoy Yes, I lives in Squedunk.
Was you ever in Hquedunkf
City Hoy Nope. Hut I was In Brooklyn
ence. Good News.
TI10 Last Straw.
Of all the tortures known to man
The greatest, wa unaert,
Is to wear u utoeu collar
Upon a slxtocu shirt.
Exchange,
No Matter How Hard
any druggist tries to sell you his own
cough medicine, remember he does it
because he makes more money on it.
Insist on having Kemp's Balsam for
ine tnroat or lungs, tor tnere is no
cough remedy so pure and none so
quick to break up a cold. For in
lluenza. ' soreness of the throat and
tickling irritation with constant cough,
Kemp's Balsam is an immediate cure.
Large bottles 50c and $1. At all
druggists.
The Oldest Kissing Story.
The oldest kissing storv is probably
' that of the Hindoo herdsman who was
j walking alo.ig ihe road with an iron
1 kettle on his back, a live goose in one
; hand, and in the other a cane and a
rope by which he was leading a goat.
Presently a woman joined him, and
they walked along together until they
reached a dark ravine, when she
shrunk back, (K-claMiig she was afraid
he might kiss her by force there in the
dark. The man explained that by
reason of his biudens he cou d not
possibly do so.
"Yes." said the woman, "but what
. is to hinder you from sticking the cane
1 in the ground and tying the goat to it,
and then laying the goose on the
ground and t ovtring it with the kettle?
And then how could 1 help myself if
you wickedly persisted in kissing me?"
"Many thanks," said the man. "i
never should have thought of all that.
You are an ingenious woman. May
your ingenuity always succeed."
So they went on until they reached
the darkest part of the ravine. Then
he stuck the cane in the ground and
tied the goat to it, and Kt the goose
under the kettle by the -cane, and
then wickedly kissed the woman in
spite of her great resistance.
Stt MY
SPONGE?
Yi us?
( DID
L f THHt
Bt'VBtO,
'tV
your Shoo
with
WOLFF'S
ACME
BLACKING
ONCE A WEEK!
Other days wash ttisfn
clean with
SPQNQE AND WATER.
iVCRY Housewife
VERY Counting Roorrj
VERY Carriage Owner
VERY Thrifty Mechanic
EVERY Body able to hold a brush
should una
Wiu STain Oi a Niw rvsniTvst f .
win. Stuim aiusa saia emnawaa I VarnUH
Will, (ram Timwms 1
Win btim tus Oia BssntTa I am
Wiu. ti coam I timet
WOLTT RANDOLPH. Phaaaslphl.
PATENTS.
Caveats find Tmrtn MiirL-u olltnlnivl nnrl nil
t'litent business conduct rd for .moiikkatk
ol'li OFFICE IS OPPOSITK THE I'. . PAT
ENT OFFICE. We linvn 110 NiilKWnrles, nil
iMIsliiess dlrm-t, hence run trnnsnet patent busi
ness In less time nml at Less Cost tluu those re
lume fi-ntn WiishliiiMnn.
Heml IniHlel. iliawlinf or photo, with rteserlp
tlcni. We iiilvlse If lutentiihlH or nut, frit' of
clmnre. Our fee nut due till patent. Is secured-
A linok, "How In obt i I n Patents." with refer,
enees to actual clients In your stnte, county, or
town, sent free. Address
c. A. snow a: co.. Washington, I). C.
(Opposite I'. S. Patent ofllce.)
Catarrh
JS a Mood disease. Until too poison i
t expelled from tlio system, thero can
be no cure for , this loathsome, and
tlariRcrous malady. Therefore, the only
effective treatment Is a thorough course
of Ayer's Sarsaparilln tlio liest of all
blood purifiers. The sooner you begin
tlio better ; delay is dangerous.
" I was troubled with catarrh for over
two yenrs. I tried various remedies,
and was treated by a number of physi
cians, but received no benefit until I
liegnu to take Ayer's Sarsnparilla. A
few bottles of this medicine cured me of
this troublesome complaint and com-
filetely restored my health.' Jesse M.
Iokrh, lluluiati's Mills, N. C.
"When Ayer's Sarsaparilln was rec
ommended to me for catarrh, I was In
clined to doubt its efficacy. Having
tried so many remedies, with little ben
efit, I had no faith that anything would ,
cure me. I became cmaciuted from loss '
of appetite and impaired digestion. I
bad nearly lost the sense of smell, and
my system was badly deranged. I was
about discouraged, when a friend urged
me to try Ayer's Sarsaparilla, and re
ferred me to persons whom it hadrured
of catarrh. After taking hall a dozen
bottles of this medicine, I am convinced
that the only sure way of treating this
obstinate disease is through the blood."
Charles II. ilulouey, 113 lUver it.,
Lowell, Mass.
Ayer's Sarsaparilla,
rasrAniD r
Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mai.
Fries tl ; six bottles, i. Worth i a bottle.
Xntell!go&t SstSeri will notice f&tt
0
ui- s T ills
are "tnrrmnud (a aure" sUI alaaaasj
f diseases, but astly asiek mm recall
(ram s cUaordarael Ur, vial
Vertigo, Headache, Dyspepsia.
Fevers, Costiveness, Bilious
Colic, Flatulence, etc.
far the they are net warranted 12
fmlUblm, bat are aa nearly aa aa It la Joe
alhle tamake at remedy. Priae, 3eta
BOLD EVIlltYATIIliBJE.
s
ALES M E "VT
W ANTE If a ll
Traveling or local, to sell choice Nursery
stuck. Kast selling specialties In hardy fruits,
..... un1.....ll.l ..i.t It, r,.u Ulniiilu r.t..,,tfl.-..ln
guaranteed. Your pay weekly. Write for
terms. (IKHMANIA Sl'HSKItV CO., KofnKtf
TKH, N. V. I-Mt
FOR -
Horses, Cat:!:, Sheep & Hogs.
Excels any remedy for the rapid cur of Kurd
Codi, Coughs, Hide Dound, Yellow Water, Fever.
Distemper, Sore and Weak Eyes, Lung Fever.
Cotliveneti. Blotches, end all difficulties trie
Ing Iron Impurities of the Blood. Will re I leva
Heaves It onco, Manuacturtd iy tin
JOPPA MANUFACTURING! CO., LYONS, N. Y.
VOU HAUt B aJJ. SKALUUi.
a Mitchell's Kirine. Plasters
"SJ Absurb n'.l dlneaso In tUo.Klducysanl
M restore ia :m to a ncaiiay condition.
(Mji 0'i c'.a-oulo kU'.uty sufXcrers sny
l7 t"7 Kt no relief nntlt thty trloi
' MITCIIFM. KIDNEY
Fl.ANTftltS.
Cold by Tmpptts ererrwhors, or sent by mall for SOs
Kuvultr 1'hwter Works, jowell, Mass
(New) 180. O.OANS 185.
or ( ntalotrUH address
Ex-Mnyor lux XF Hkatty
WSSllllllftOfl, N, J.
TOBUYI
Now is the Time.
Now is the Time.
OVERCOATS, OVERCOATS
AND ALL KINDS OF
WINTEJB - WEAR CLOTMIM,
CLOTHING FOR
at what they cost 'wholesale.
We have a large lot of
mid want to sell tliciu.
ours KcspcelfiBlIy,
I. MAIER, BScliable Clothier
Finest Tailoring and Perfect Fitting Garments
Made to Order.
Do YOU READ
THE COSMOPOLITAN,
THAT BRIGHT, SPARKLING MAGAZINE? .
The Cheapest Illustrated Monthly in the World.
25 CENTS A NUMBER. $2.40 PER YEAR. .
Edition for December, 1890, One hundred Thousand Copies.
, The Cosmopolitan is literally what the Xew 1 'ork Time 's calls it, "At its price, tho trightert, most
variod and best edited of th.8 Magazines."
subscribe ( AH, UNUSUAL OPPOETUNITY ) -Subscribe
' FOR NE WBl BllCRIBERS, FOR OHB VEAR ONLV.
.The Cosmopolitan, per year, ' -The
Columbian, " '
The price of the two publications,
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C1TARRHCured' Wrl,e tor nmple.flYf
. This offer is only to new subscribers of The Cosmopolitan, and only for one year,
- ."It lia more articles in each number that are readable, and fewer uninteresting pages,
than any of its contemporaries." Bo$ton Journal, '
- ti ' ; i , i
THE COSMOPOLITAN" FURNISHES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MAGAZINE LITERATURE-
A Splendid Illustrated . Periodical at a Prico hitherto deemed Impossible. '
TBI IT i'OB A YEAB.
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It will give you more for the money than you can obtain in any other form.
Do you want a first-class Magazine, giving annually 1536 pages by the
ablest writers, with more than 1300 illustrations by the cleverest
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Send $2.53 to this 0."fi:e, aad secure both The Cosmopolitan and The Columbian.
i A DsmDhlet of Information and nb-
v,strsciuf the laws, showing How Uth
domain 1-niems, i ureiiin, Triule
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M 7.t,ui llrunnwuT. .v
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Msvar Vails ta Bestors Orajr
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Cufl icftjp diirMtft a hair tailuui.
Wit farkar'a OinsarTonlo, II lha wur.l tmiKh,
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ttulisaSi
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wiry Morkr. Wn atari von, ' AirnUtilna
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raitliily and fa tutu rati v. bv thou
-:.a tl . . T
viiuer wwt, rounm or oia, i
ti katarrifd at oarWKW tin f work
of
f. fOUliaT or old. and In thriw
ownlcaliUa,Hliirvrih lltt.inr
on can da lata Murk. tLmmv to lm.
W I urn l.b avrryihina;. W atari you. No rUk. to ran davula
your .par mniaiii, ar all your tlma t lha work. Ikit U an
antlrvly hw Uatl.aml bHnn wondrri. succaaa to awry worker.
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fluy nMiitdud tat k you r ttCC. Vo anara to plain bar. Full
ufonMitoa UHiW XUIfiCU.aAltilllCAtaUUIb
THE HEWCOMB
Fly Shuttle
Rag Carpet
LOOM.
.Was rat It rsrta ss kair
' rSood for circulars.
O. N. NEWCOMB, bavanport. la.
S3000
A TKARI 1 unr1crtakatAhrla)t.
taarbany la.rly Intel I If-nt p-raoiiof alilier
Hkumii rrad aud wrtta, and who.
after liiatrui'lion, will work Indualriou.ly,
hnw In aaru 1 sras Tkaiuaiaa.al la.ll..
wiiMiiMruwn io aiittri.w rttrvver tbty llva.l will mlto rurnUh
tha altuailuu orciiilu'uiiit,at which you ran fam lhaiatnouul.
ft iniiiiei- fi.r me uulrva auctraarul aa abova. Ka.lly and quickly
It-aruad. I drain but on wotkrr from aacu dUliiot r county. J
havaalrratly Uiiarlil and provided with amploymrnt a larro
immbrr, who ara makinir ovar tfliMMi a taarvarh. It a Jb' ilW
a"d a??J J t-r""' F It K K. Addre.. at oiira.
Ea. t , AI.M-.N, Uu 4o, AukuiIu, Alulna,
FORI EJEN'OriLV!
ror sVUbr or TiULIira lUNHOODi
Z . aM aia.M w vwo VAfliLU I
Waakassa of Body aad And, Tffaata
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lr.rrk.aHkUk,lkUkrktuVKUUIIbiKSai-aHT"uVtOUf.
AkMlal. r.lll.( IKISk tM4TakTliisu tasSa
"" Hai WtDIQAt OQ.. BUff ALO. N. .
nf Httla fartunaahavabaotimadaftft
work fr ua, by Anna 1'af. Auatin,,
1aaa, and Jno. Itoun, 1 oldo, ihln.
taat-ut. utiiaraarrduiua;Mwril. wnjr
i jumr mvmm vara ovar vauv.vu
noiirli. Ton t-anrlo tha work and llvo
t noma, w brravar you ara. hvau ba-
lnnrra are aaally aarnbir from $1 la
w iv a oay, a ii ape., rt a aitow you mow
nd atari you. tan work In para Han
or all the lima. Hlf mouay far work
era, Failure unknown amonfftbaiw.
KL'W.n,,.l..(,li ...! a
l.tlU,V ,o.tIloxwM01'urtluua,Ula,
BOILING WATER OR MILK
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