;N0 HOPETOff ENGLISH LITERATOKt.
At the dviMtlo' club ha' sight we all discussed
ours
"Porthe deMIIUCed etnte o( BnRlWi Htmphur."
"The stuff the' Writ for folks," 1 saM, "don 1
' more 'tis an' delight Via,
Because the folks who write the thing don't
know enough to write 'em.
The folks who write, thejr stuff their heads hi
some big oroJopoJy,
TTlch alnt no place fer mental food to feed the
poor an' needy s
They're huntln' on an emtjr shelf, Hke poor oT
Mother Huhhant,
Ac' go right by tho open door of Mother Notur's
cupboard.
"Ther crawl Into some Uberjr for from the wort's
Impaction,
Bury themsrlTes In books beyond all bnpo of res
urrertlon! They cry otit from their tombs, In which no sun
nor star ran glisten.
An' weep because the llr'n' wort' dont fln' mo
time to IHten."
Then Elder rettengell he asked: "Can you sug
gest a cure
For the debilitated state of English llt'mchure?"
"Ain't none; our authors' Ignorance Is for too
dark for llk'htln',
While we who know enough to wrlto hain't got
no time for wrltln'."
8. W. Foes In Yankee Blade.
A WIFE WORTH HAVING.
The old ship Vincent seemed to bo one
of those, croft that, according to the
theory of sailors, are doomed to ill fate,
James Marshall, a young man from
Newport, R. I., had been her captain
for five years, and during that time she
had been twice "knocked down;" onco
had she carried away her foremast, and
at tho time of which we write tho old
ship was docked nt Liverpool undergo
ing repairs from a serious damage she
had received during a heavy gale in St.
George's channel, but In all these mis
haps tho owners had been forced to ac
knowledge that the young captain was
entirely free from blame, while, on the
othor band, he had mado better "time"
in his trips than any other master had
ever been able to get out of her.
The last damage which tho Vincent
received proved to be the occasion of the
dawning of anew era in the life of Capt.
Marshall, for while waiting in Liverpool
for his ship to be repaired he fell in with
a blooming New England girl named
Emma Ramsey, the eldest daughter of
the agent who did tho business for the
Vincent's owners, and ore long they dis
covered that between them there existed
a peculiar feeling of mutual lovo. Capt.
Marshall pqpped tho delicate question,
Emma consulted with her papa, and at
length she consented to become Mrs.
Marshall. If was a happy day for all
parties when the marriage took place,
for from the known characters of the
bridegroom and his beautiful bride all
felt sore that the match would prove one
of peace and content.
The Vincent was once mure ready for
sea. Her cargo was all on board, and
shipped for Boston, and Emma had re
solved to accompany her husband to the
United States. For a number of days
the weather was pleasant, and the wind
was fair, while Capt. Marshall felt him
self supremely happy in the delightful
company of his wife. Tho old sailors
shook their heads as they saw tho gentle
Emma pacing the deck, and they very
mysteriously asserted that "such pleas
ures couldn't always lust," and so in
deed, it proved; for at the close of a
pleasant day, when they were within
three or four days' sail of their destined
port, things began to look anything but
agreeable. Away to the south'rd and
east'rd tho horizon began to assume a
sort of inky blackness, with here and
there a ghostlike, livid spot, while on all
hands the heavens had changed their
ethereal blue for a cast of deeper and
more fearful import.
Capt. Marshall felt as he had never
felt before on the approach of a storm.
For himself, for his ship, he had no
thought then. There was one on board
who engrossed his every sympathy for
his young wife he felt a degree of in
tense anxiety that was painful; but he
forgot not his duty, and with compara
tive calmness he set about it. Tho
courses were hauled up and snngly
furled, the lighter sails taken in, and the
lofty yards and topgallant masts sent on
deck, and the threo topsails close reefed.
Long before the sun went down the
undulating ocean had assumed almost
the blacknessof night, and not many
moments elapsed after the spars had
been secured upon the deck ere the
storm burst upon the ship. It was a
regular southeaster, and those who have
encountered one of these storms in the
gulf know something of their power.
Higher and higher roso the mighty tem
pest, until at length it was found neces
sary to take in the topsails and trust to
the fore and main storm staysails and a
balance reefed spanker. In this way the
ship lay to till morning, the gale increas
ing every hour.
Capt. Marshall trusted that when tho
sun rose on the next day the storm
would abate, but in this he was disap
pointed, for a part of the forenoon he
was actually obliged to scud before it.
It was not until two staysails had been
torn from their bolt ropes that he fully
explained his anticipations and the ex
tent of his fears to his wife.
"Emma," said he, "I wish I had not
brought you with me."
"Why so'r' she asked, as she gazed up
into her husband's face with apparent
astonishment.
"Why so? Do you not comprehend
our danger?'
"But the ship does not leak, does it?"
returned Emma with remarkable cool
ness. "No."
"Then let us not fear the storm. I was
born upon the Atlantic, and I feel that I
can yet trust to my native element."
Tho captain was astonished at this
trait in his wife's character, and clasp
iug her in his arms he felt his own soul
swelling with a new life.
"Emma," he said, an ho gazed more
affectionately thau ever into her face,
"my heaviest fears are passed. For you
alone have. I feared the most; now I can
calmly tell you wherein lies our danger.
This storm has driven us far out of our
course, and twice have we been scudding
before it. I fear that tho coast of Maine
it cannot be far to the leeward and of that
coast 1 know nothing save what I may
gather from my chart. For us to lay to
is next to impossible. The rising sea
has rendered our stay Bails useless, and
I have been obliged to set the close reefed
maintopsail, but she cannot hold it
long."
"My husband," returned Emma,
"though you may know nothing of tho
coast of Maine, yet there are but few
spots along her rugged shores that are
not as playgrounds to me. My father
was for years a surveyor of her islands
and harbors, and I was his constant com
panion. To mo her cliffs and inlets pre
sent nothing that can alarm me."
Hardly had she ceased speaking when
a sharp crack like tho report of a pistol
sounded from aloft, followed by a tear
ing and crashing that started the cap
tain to his feet.
"Tho main topsail has gone!" ho ex
claimed, and immediately he sprang
upon the deck.
Again the ship was put beforo the
gale, and for several momenta Capt.
Marshall was undecidod what to do.
While hi this quandary he felt a hand
laid upon his shoulder, and on turning
he beheld his wife. Sho had a "sou'
wester upon her head and a peajacket
buttoned closely about her.
"What is tho matter, Jainee?" sho
said.
Tho husband explained his perplexity.
A strange look of fearlessness and con
fidence rested upon that fair woman's
face, and lxking for a moment at the
compass sho said:
"We head duo northwest. Station a
trusty lookout in tho foretop, and let
the ship stand on!"
Capt. Marshall felt nt that moment as
though an angel had been sent to pilot
him to a haven of rest. Whenco arose
tho feeling he knew not, but instinctive
ly he obeyed. Fearful and loud roared
the mighty storm, on dashed tho riven
ship, but all fearless and composed stood
the heroic woman upon the quarter
deck, and the hardy seamen as they
gazed upon her felt that what daunted
not a woman should not daunt them.
"Land, ho!" came from tho foretop.
In three minutes more, as the ship
rose upon the bosom of a giant sea, the
laud was made out upon the ilck. bear
ing about two points on the larboard
bow. Emma caught sight of it, and
seizing a glass at the next swell sho dis
covered a lighthouso npon its summit.
Then sho turned her ghwss over the star
board beam, and in a moment she ex
claimed: "There are the Bantam Ledges. Tho
land on the larboard bow is Seguin, and
beyond I can see Cape Small Point.
James," she continued as she gazed into
her husband's face with a look all made
up of conscious power, "if you will drop
your foretopsail I will take you into tho
Kennebec!"
For a moment Capt. Marshall hardly
credited the evidence of his own senses,
but ono look into the calm, radiant feat
ures of his wife determined him, and in
five minutes tho foretopsail was uheeted
home.
Emma Marshall seized the spanker
out haul and sprang npon the wheel
house, and calm as tho falling of tho
summer's dew fell her orders to the man
at tho wheel. The island Segnin was
cleared in safety, tho ship bowled fear
lessly by the foam dashed rocks, and ere
long her bows cleft tho smoother waters
of the noble Kennebec. All danger was
past Though the storm still raged, yet
the old Vincent rode at anchor, and the
howling tempest could harm her no
more. Confidence was restored to the
hardy crew.
Emma Marshall descended from her
station and sought her cabin. Her rough
habiliments were thrown aside, and ere
long she reappeared in all tho modesty
and beauty of her native grace. Capt.
Marshall pressed her to his bosom, and
Ct that moment thbardy seamen waved
their hats high above their uncovered
heads, while a prolonged shout of joy
and gratitude went forth from their re
lieved souls. They had been saved from
the terrible coast storm, and from the
bottom of their hearts they confessed
Emma Marshall was A Wife Worth
Having. Sylvanus Cobb, Jr., in Yankee
Blade.
Yankee Dlspateh,
One day I made some reference to tho
clumsy and long-drawn-out way in
which the Russian guns were taken up
to the front. True, the roads were fright
ful, tho mud being beyond nil descrip
tion, but I ventured to suggest that tho
progress of that artillery was, ia many
instances, lamentably slow.
"Wal," said the American, in broad
Yankee twang, "I think you're right.
They've been at it for months and there's
very little promise of increasing speed.
How long, now, do you think it would
take Britishers to accomplish the same
end?'
Actually, I had not the slightest idea,
but I was not going to collapse before
my Yankee interrogator, so I suggested,
as an improvement on the existing state
of affairs, that it would take us, say
about a fortnight or three weeks. "By
the way," I continued, "how long do
you think it would take the Americans
to achieve a similar result?"
"Americans? Oh, that's a very differ
ent kettle o' fish! Americans?" and with
thlshetookouthiswnte.il. unil irUnxul
at it several times in meditative silence.
"The Americans? Wal, I should say, as
near as I can calculate, somewhere be
tween twenty-five minutes and half an
hour," and with this ho turned on his
heel with a self-satisfied air, leaving me
to digest the comparison. Irving Mon
tague in Camp nnd Studio.
The Lamb Tree,
Joannes Zahn in 1606 first gave tho
world information as to this valuable
plant. The planta tartaric bowmeta,
according to Mr. Zahn, grows in Tartary
like any other plant, and when it gets
ripe a lamb forms on the top of the
flower stalk. After a while the stalk
bends over and the lamb grazes till all
the grass in the vicinity is cropped off or
the stem is severed. Then it dies.
Wolves are said to be quite fond of this
vegetable mutton. John Ashton ia Curi
ous Creatures in Zoology,
THK CHOCTAW' H KBKA CTKIl.
An Indian Idea of the Life Deyend the
Present.
From their earliest traditions the
Choctaw s Imve been taught to behave in
a life after they lonve this world They
believe that the spirit, the moment that
it leaves the body, is compelled to travel
a long distanoe to the west, until is ar
rives at an immensft ohasm, at tlie bot
tom of which flows a very rapid, rocky,
nnd dangerous stream. This terrible
gorge, which is surrounded on every
side by great mountains, the soul lins trf
cross on a "long and slippery pine log
with the bark peeled off, " the oidy pas
sage to the "linppy hunting grounds, "
which lie beyond the dangerous bridge
On the bank of the stream, just on the
otlinr end of the log, there always stand
six persons, who have rraclied the
"happy hunting grounds," nnd who
throw sharp rocks nt w hoever attempts
to cross the treacherous log the moment
the middle of it is reached, Thoso who
have lived properly, according to tlio
Indian idea of morals, have no trouble
in crossing the log; tho stones fall harm
lessly from them, and they reach tho
"happy hunting grounds, " where thero
is perpetual day, without difficulty.
Tliero the trees are ever green, the t.ky
cloudless, and the breezes always genlly
blowing; there, too, a continuous feast
and dance are going on; the people never
grow old, but live forever and revel in
perpetual youtli. Tho wicked, when
they attempt to cross the dangerous
bridge, can see the stones which are
thrown at them, and in trying to avoid
them they w ill full from the gidly height
into tio awful goigo thousands of feet
below the slippery log; where a rushing
boiling stream is tumbling over tho
great sharp rocks, tilled ith dead fl-h
nnd animals which nro continually
brought around to the snmo Incj by tho
eddies nnd whirlpools, There all tho
trees nre dead, the waters infested by
poisonous snakes, toads, nnd oilier re
pulsive looking reptiles, the dead nro
always hungry, but have nothing to eat;
nro alwnys sick, but never die. Tliero is
n sun, nnd the wicked nro constantly
"cliiniiug up by thousands on the sides
of a high rock, from which tliey can
overlook the beautiful country of tho
good hunting grounds, tho abodo of tho
happy, but can never roach it, " Bos
ton Trail script
The Harvard Athlete.
The nthlcto in a recitation is very
amusing. When ho enters some ad
mirer usually whispers his confidante:
"Look at , isn't he a dandy?" Tho
athlete always looks too largo for his
chair in tho clas room. You wonder
why it does not break down. The book,
too, seems all out of place in his big
hands, and a pencil looks positively
funny as he handles it. Ho wears an
nir of patronagu as if intellectual pur
suits were well ia their way, aud ft
thing to bo encouraged, even interest
ing on occasions, but just a little un
worthy a man of muscle.
He likes to stretch out bis big limbs,
aud watch them in repose, knowing how
much they cau do when occasion re
quires. The professor even defer to
him a little, unable to refuse his in
stinctive homage to power even though
it be physical. AVheu he etrolU across
the yard men look out of their windows
after him. He is pointed out to tho
young lady visitors, and the fair creat
ures look with awe on the god like be
ing whom they have seen battling in
mud and gore for the honor of Harvard
in tho superhuman fashion.
The athlete during his season of activ
ity does not study much. Hi has to re
serve his energies for physical effort.
He can neither smoke nor drink. About
all that is left him is to talk athletics,
and for this purpose he can got plenty
of listeners. But when 4 o'clock in tho
afternoon comes then he is in his ele
ment. Aud from 4 to 0 he toils away
like a young Riant
Storing Sunshine for Use.
"Hit Jimmy! Come down here. Lot's
set on the bridge and go round when
she turns. "
This from a 10 year old street boy
Etnndiug on the approach to a bridgo
over the Erie Cnnal in an interior city.
Tho person addressed was a fellow
stroet boy standing on a raised foot
bridge over the same muddy waterway.
Ho was no older thau his companion
and full as ragged. He was lame and
carried a crutch, but he had his com
pensation in a philosophy of content
ment that old Horace might have en
vied. He stood upon the foot bridgo and an
swered :
"Naw. Can't Got f stay hero, "
"Aw, come on down. AVhat d'yo
hang up tho re for? Lots o' funswingiu'
around here. We kin git on a boat aud
go over the aqueduct an' then ride back
ou another. Aw, come on down. "
"Naw; can't do it."
"Why not? What yer wants tor fool
'rouud up there for? Ain't no fun up
there. "
"Wal," was the answer that Jimmlo
drawlod out with as solemn a face as a
cadet on parade, "I can't comedow n no
how. I've got to stay up here and soak
iu all the suushiue I cau so as Ikiu laugh
when it rains. "
A Heaven Sent Gift.
There is in the office of tho Merchants
National Bank, of Kansas City, a frag
ment of a meteor which has a peculiar
history.
A farmer in Wertern Kansas had bor.
rowed more money on his farm than he
found himself able to repay. While
meditating over his bad fortune, but,
with the usual energy of the Kansas
farmer, still tilling his soil, he turned
up this meteoric stone, and examined it,
but discovered nothing peculiar in its
make up until a relative from the East,
who was vUiting him, noticed it and
told him it was of great value.
The farmer communicated with Pro
feasor John Hay, State Geologist at
Junction City, Kan., who visited the
place and confirmed the opinion of the
relative and caused collectors of such
stones to compete for its purchase.
It was sold for a sum largely in ex
cess of the amount required to redeem
his home from the money lender,
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Prevents Lung Fever srulf.
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1 pound In each pankage. "
nuia 117 mifunim, -
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MANY MEN FIND THAT
Storms, snows, drtnehing rains, and furious winds
are a part of lha regular routine of life. Two-thirds
o( the sickness through life is caused by colds; you
cannot h too well protected in stormy weather to
avoid them. A man hating a " Fish timid Slick
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if you are liable to be cautht in a rain or snow
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every garment stamped with the " Kith Brand '
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As J. TOWER, - Boston, MaiSi
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