THE COLUMBIAN AND DEMOCRAT. BLOOMSBUEG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA. LIGHT AND AIRY. nw Kun. , . T 1h under nit tiiwn the nwanl . And v.nlU to feel the till?! . And there t Interval U heard Hie RiirRlii of thi Jiijf. Ilostnn Courier. An Irishman who was one of tho iwssen. Rfrs on n l'enn Inclined rnr Inst nlglit was ro tating n story to a frlcml. Jmt at tho crltl cit moment tlio conductor rnng lib lll for n faro. Tho Irkhmnii Jumped from Ills seat and porting In n Rulllvnu attitude, glared at every passenger in ho wildi "I don't know who It was, but I ken lick the blackguard that rang that chestnut bell oil my Joke." I'ltUburg. Times. Tns rut'ini. There's a nymmetry of motion To my sympathetic uotlon In the pitcher as ho curves the hall; There's an lily 1, great In diction, Quite exciting as a fiction. In tho batter hen lie files tho walL And the xse of grace and beauty Of tho catcher doing duty, M Is an eplo quite exceeding all. Bui for poetry of motion. To my unpretentious notion, There's nothlug llko the umpire's gall. Clricago ltambler. l'atlent Then you think my finger will linvo to be amputated, doctor! Surgeon Yes, It will havo to como off. 1'ntlent How much will tho Job cost! Burgeon Fifteen dollars, l'atlent Is that the best you can do, doctor! I'm a poor man. Surgeon Yes, $15 is the bust I can do for one finger, but I -w ill cut two of them off for $25. Now York Times. Tombstone Dealor (to widow) Would you like the cause of your husband's death ex plained on the stone, madam! Widow Well or perhaps it might bo ap propriate to engrave n couple of cucumbers on It, If you will. New York Sun. "Why do they call this place Shark moun tnlnt" asked Laura, after they hud been In the new summer resort nlxmt two weeks; "there no sharks In tho mountains." "No," sold Tom, "but there are hotels there." And Laura sighcil. They had only been married six weeks, and hero v as Tom answering her questions at random and not paying tho slightest attention to anything sho said. Bur dette. Tns nnsT run. (Jo fling tho starry banner out, Unfurl It to the sky, Let every noble freeman shout To see It Host on high. Let Canada and Mexico Go any where you wish For news has come to town, you know, That Graver's caught a uh. Washington Critic. A young man who kindly consented to stop at a dry goods store for his sister said to the young woman behind the counter, and he said it very mildly: "Have you corsots?" "Yes, sir," replied the unmoved young woman, "what size do you wearf A OOOD WIFE. They say she's worth her weight In gold, For sho herself confesses She sends her boots to be resoled And always turns hur dresses. Econsray the maiden loves Shu'll never want a lover She darns her stockings and her gloves And makes hor bonnets over. Boston Courier. "Sly dear sir, I lvo tho very thing for you." "Indcedl Ih the lady pretty!" "To be perfectly frank, sho is not. But her for tune, think of her fortune $1(10,0001 And you can get married again before long she's consumptive." "Ahem I That's something. But are yon quite sure of It I" "Sly dear sir, we guarantee It" Judge. AM IDYL Or THK BUOT. A maiden of Boston, Odo morning while tossed on The waves of the surf at Long Branch, Set up a wild squealing, t With such piercing feeling, That every face near her did blanch I She kicked and gyrated, In a w ay animated, While her face wore expression of woe, Till when resewtd she stated, . . . . In voice, v. 1th fear freighted. Tliat a lobVter shook hands with her toe. ? . -Life. BASEBALL GOSSIP. Terry is said to bo the swiftest pitcher In tho American association, and that he has bettered the time made by Hcckerand Galvin, when they pitched tho ball from the box to the plate in seven-eighths Of a second. A well-known llttsburg attorney, who has mode a close study of baseball players' con tracts, and has figured In suits growing out of them, says they are illegal, and would not stand for a moment in uny court In the land. As for blacklisting a player, which is prac tically issuing an injunction to provont him from making a livelihood, it gives tho victim the best kind of grounds for a suit for con spiracy against the club or association or clubs placing a ban upon him. It is said that Dunlap will got $4,500 a year from Detroit. This has been tho best season ever seen in Pittsburg, and the managers say that they close the season about $30,000 ahead. It is estimated that 11.1,000 spectators have seen the games between the Chlcagos and New Yorks and Detrolts and New Yorks in this city this season. Kecfo, Washington's now left-handed pitcher, is looked upon as n wonder by Manager Scanlan. One of tho reasons gtvai for Tim Kecfo's effectiveness as a pitcher this season is that ha ) litches a slower ball than many other pitchers. And as the batsmen are in the habit of bat ting swiftly pitched balls, they can do nothing with a slow ball, and usually strike at it be fore it comes within reach. Stemmyer, the Boston pitcher, owes liU ef fectiveness to the intimidation of batsmen. In two games in this city ho hit live men and kept others jumping around the plate to keep out of reach of his closely pitched balls. There is hardly a reasonable doubt but that Pittsburg will bo found in tho League ranks next season, and Manager Scanlan, of Wash ington, is authority for saying that Von der Abo and his HL Louis club will also enter if they are guaranteed Sunday games. Williamson, of Chicago, and Crane, of the AVashlngtons, aro tho longest throwers in the National League. Sam Crane, lately of the Detroit club, has signed with the St. Louis League club, and is playing in Ids old Jioiitlon, second boso. Johnny Ward, in a magazlno article, says a base ball player's llfo is not a happy one. All rumors to tho effect that Kansas City is to drop out of the League next year are with out foundation. &TI10 management expect to greatly strengthen tho club this year and have a strong one next season. Glasscock Is now tho captain of tho St. Louis JIaroons, and is getting better work out of the team than any of his preddcessors. Omaha has the most romaiknbly baseball club in America. It consists of one player. If the managers would secure eluht other players tho club might occasionally win a game. Omaha Bee, President Lucas says that in so far as the present St. Louis team is concerned, he will not bo in tho baseball business next season. CHURCH NOTES. The llov, Oeorgo O. Bimes, tho mountain evangelist, after a tour around tho world, during which he has held revival meetings lu Knglanil, India, China ami Australia, has re turned. Klght rrcfchyterinn churches have lieen or ganized in New England during the last eighteen months. Ilev. Pr, John Hall, of New Yoi k, is to have a $75,000 parsonage on Fifth avenue. An Italian Young Men's Christian associa tion has boon organised in New York city. The New Yoi k Observer ha been advocat ing the project of securing to every minister of tho gospel a minimum saury of $1,000 a year. It holds up the ministry us uu attractive railing, Wausu It is one In which youth is not a hindrance to immediate usefulness and success. "Brooklyn Is a city of protracted pastor ships," as tho Eaglo reminds us. Dr. Storri will soon celebrate his fortieth anniversary Mr. Ileecher's term is nearly as long. That of Dr. lioskins, of the eastern district, if re collection serves, u even longer. In sjieaking of the progress of tho church Sn India, Church Bells says: "A striking, though some fancy it a small, token o( re ligious improvement Is tno establishment at llomboy of Mrs. ltadhubal at a liooksellcr and stationer. This is tho llrst time that a re spectable Hindoo widow has ventured to carry on business in her own namo slnco the laws of Maim were written, a,uoo years ago. Canon Uagot, spiritual adviser to the queen iii Ireland, lias arrived at Denver. His visit to America is to secure to the Ijcncll claries of his will tho estate of Jtobert Xument Moore, who died in New Mexico lost March jiossesned of property worth $350,000. The popo lias published a decree dated July 13 reinstating tho Jesuit order in all tho privileges conferred upon it by tils predec fcors ever sines iU foundation, notwithstand ing thodecreo or I'ono Clement UlY, pro. un.eJ sgalaU lu 1773. , , , TIIK llll.AUITV FAMILY. tCVnffiiHr ttfrviajlrtt Jxiffe J "Noxt Slimmer wo will tro lo Lonir Hrnncli or Coney lolnm!," suggested jHciiruin. "No you won't, voutift woman," snnppiflily ejaculated llio stern pal cut. A more forlorn-looking quartet than tho Hilarity household Is not often soon. They were diegtistcd, worn out, discouraged, but tho neighbors wcro bored tn death listening to stones about what a nico time they had tho girh) met bo many elegant gontletntfn, and next Summer they would pjiend their vacation at Saratoga. Tho truth was they unjoyed their trip about as much as tho nvcrago citi zen did tho May Musical Festival, When tho bills incurred by his wifo and daughters began lo como in Hil arity was almost trantio with surpriso and anger. Ho didn't commit Btiicidc, but ho threatened to very hard. This is how tho cheap tup lo a sum mer resort ended : Estimated cost, 3217) actual, cost, $i,88.ri.0-t. J. II. Mercer wishes to mako an assertion, which ho cm back with a posittvo Guarantee. It is all about Acker's Ulood Elixir, lie claims for it superior niorits over all other remed ies of its kind, and guarantees for it a positive nnd sttro euro for Khcum.tlisin, Syphillis, and all blood disorders, it trees the skin lrom spots and disease, and leaves tho complexion clear Ask him about it. SPORTING AND ATHLETIC. There nro 230 entries for tho French Ornnd Prix of lbbS. Of theso 218 are Fiench, 105 Kngllsh, 7 llusslan, 4 Hungarian nnd 2 Ger man. MIko Dwyer is reiiortcd as saying that in all prolmbility Miss Woodford will never again start in n race. In llvo yoars sho has won for tho Dwyers $ lOS.S'jO. She Is now 0 years old. Charles E. Davis, chief clork of tho Hoston board of health, commenced riding a trieyclo March 27, this year, and up to Aug. 20 had a record of 2,050 miles. Maud 3., Jay Kyo See, St. Jullen, Maxey Cobb, Harus, I'hallas, Clingstone, Goldsmith Maid and Trinket are the only trotters which have shown 2:14 or better, and tho sjres of seven of these were sons of llysdyk's Hamble tonlan. Hcrr Fortner, of tho Vienna llioyclo club, has just traveled from that city to Paris in eleven days and two hours, easily beating Lieut. Zubowltzs horseback performance or fourteen days. Itlsprobablo that a big billiard tourna ment will take place soon, Slosson und Schaefer declare that thoy aro ready to ,ijlay any kind of billiards at any time, and Sexton offers to go into a sweepstako .tournament, Bach to put up $250. Daly will also liartlcl pute. A great cockroach tournament has been fought during the last few days at Chicago, lietwoen fifty of these insects owned by Chinese in Han Francisco and the same num ber from Chicago. Tho western men won a pile of money and have gone on to take in tho Celestials of New York. Paddy Ryan is In training for a fight with nn unknown, to take place within ISix weeks. A purse of $1,000 hus been raised. The mill will bo a private one, only thoso represented In tho purso being allowed to lie present. Tho League of Amorlcon Wheelmen now has a membership of 0,!i$l. Myers now says he will not visit England this year, but talks of going to Australia and there run against their champion sprinter, T, M. Malone, who wants to run him raws of 250, 350 and 440 yards. Joe McAulIffe, of San Francisco, Is said to be a coming heavy weight bruiser. He is 23 years old, stands U feet 3f inchos and weighs 230 pounds. Joo Quisenberry has sold his celebrated gelding J. Q. to Mr. France, of Now York, for $7,000. Tho gelding recently trotted a heat hi 2.V at Itochester. Mr. Quisenberry purchased him four years ago for J 1:4, and tho gelding has earned for him, clear of ex penses, $15,000. Henry Luke, tho well known English light weight jockey, is on bis way to this country, having been engaged to ride for August Bel mont, nt a salary of f 3,500 per year. Slade, tho Morel pugilists, is now running a restaurant in California, which is the resort of men who tut their curls quite close. ABOUT ANIMALS. The Holstein cow Clothilde, owned by Smith, Powell & Lamb, of Syracuse, closed her G-year-oId record Aug. 17. Sho has given during that time a little more than 20,000 ounds of milk, or about seventy pounds a day. Tho highest previous record was 23,775 pounds. While a circus was parading at Kingston, Canada, recently, a wagon containing a den of lions was overturned and tho top of tho den knocked off. A lire was built around tho cage to keep tho lions in until repairs were made, and then tho wagon was righted by the aid of two elephants. Asa Snyder, of Catsklll, N. Y., owned a hog which grew amazingly fat Its rapid in crease of adifxise tLssue attracted tho attention of tho neighbors, among them Dr. Bogardus, who told Asa that the hog had dropsy, and then tapjied it. Sixty-three gallons of water followed tho tapping, and the hog diminished hi size quite as fast as it had increased. The Guernsey cow Ladybird II, who took the first prize at tho London Dairy show hut October, gavo on the day of tho trials 40.25 pounds of, milk having 5.10 per cent, butter fat. On tho day following tho trials sho gavo 51.75 pounds, and on the next day the yield had Increased to 53.75 pounds. Mrs. Schweickhardt, has a hen that up to July 4 refused to lay. Tho old lady made the hen a nice new nest apart from tho others and called the fowl up to it. It seemed to suit hcrj for, according to Mis. Bchwelckhardt's assertion, she at once dcjioslted six eggs, most of them as large as quails' eggs, got olt the nest and cackled, returned ami laid six more, gotolf again, and laid unothcr half dozen, Then the lien stopped laying, and has dono no business since. More than twelve months ago n woman In La Gr.usgo, Ga., while feeding a large tiock of chickens dropped a diamond ring from her linger, and, uot being ablo to 11ml it, concluded that one of the fowls hail swallowed it. It was not thought best to kill all tho chickens In order to find it, but tho Internal arrange ments of each fowl afterwurd killed wore carefully examliUHl. A week ngb the ring was found. It was under the dirt just whero It had been lost. FISH PARAGRAPHS. Tho first herring cuught each year off the coast of Holland belongs to tho king, ns the first English sturgeon lielongs to Queen Vic toria. A Carson, Nov,, nswsiiaper says that in the Carson river above Empire the lUhiug is good, but lielow tho town tho ilsli will not bite, ''having lost their teeth from salivation by tho mill chemicals," A flue lUli story comes from tho Sucker state. It Is that n Clauoseo man floating down the Illinois went to sleep, leaving u stout iUh line dangling in the water. When ho uwolso ho was illteeu miles further up stream than when ho went to sleep. A mon ster catfish hud s allow id thu bait mid towed the bout up the river, New York Bun. Cedar river is ouo of tho best brook trout streams of Michigan, but it lias been lishcd so much that there Is a deeply worn path along tho bank, and they say that tho constant f rio tiou of Hue und sinker has' put u furniture iolish on every log In the stream. Notwith standing all this, Mum Hhellmiiu, of llellalre, Mich., took out ono day this week, in six hours' fishing, all in ono pool, sixty trout, all ten Inches and over In length. Tho drought In Iowa is drying up many fish ponds. Among them is Horseshoe pond, near Bedford, v, hlch In a few feet from a running brook. The other day the grass between the pond and tho brook was found to lie full of catfish, which were Hopping their way from the drying-uji pond to tho runnlnj water, A Naugatnck man saw something green In a cuku of Ice und split the cuke open, Tho green thing was a small frog, w hlch after nn hour or two in the sunlight hopped about vigorously, Marshall Iteyuolds, who is about 13 years old, wns in swimming tho other day near Murphysboro, Ills., when he felt largo fish strikuhlin. Ho Jumjied on Its back and held on while tho fish carried him thli ty-flve or forty yards. Tho llsb was secured with, a fig. It was a cattish, weighing ilfty-ono pounds, and was brought to Murphysboro and sold. St. Louli Qlols-Dcuocrot. Over one million boxes of Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets sold in tho past twclvo months, purely upon tlieir inciitH. Why miller with Chronic Con stipation, Dyspepsia, Sour Stomach, Sick Hcadaohc, Heartburn, and Fctnalo troubles, when J. II. Mercer ofllcrs you relict and posittvo euro in tho Dyspepsia Tablets. Ho sells them on a guarantee. There aro scores of persons who aro sii(Ter!nt! from some form of blood dis order or skin disease, such as Scrofula, Iioilrf, etc., cto. After a practical test, J. H. Mercer asserts that Acker's Ulood Elixir will certainly euro all siteh dis casts, including Syphillis and Rheum ntism. Itis net a patent nostrum, but a scieutitio preparation, ho guarantees it. J. II. Mercer would especially recom mend to the ladies Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets. As a laxativo they havo no equal. They aro guaranteed to euro Chronic Constipation, Dyspepsia, and all diseases arising from a deranged stomach. With n free tiso of the Tab- ots, Sick Headache is impossible. elys catarrh Cream Balm wan mvnfiipmlVl to tp for HAY FEVER. i.itf fnwnl it iii mwtta "' "i" ilrcnd-I if! tUmtw. fur teul triirs hmv tieni n tirnU nifftrer. (Yciim; JIAtiti fs tlic unlu pre-i foumU V. I!. A Ins-i ipo,7i, nr r ;. .tii-i irurui iv m -'luff., it'm m wwMrrm tiuiiMimim.ina. HAi-EEVtR A particle Is applied Into each nostril and la agreeable, l'rlco 50 cents nt druggists; by mail, leglstereil, 00 cents, circulars free. Kl.Y 111(03. . Diugglsts, Ocgo, N. Y. Jy-S3-it-d. SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE GOD LIVER OH bosphites of Lime & Soda Almost asPalatableas Milk. Tho only prepnratlon of COD I lVKlt OIL that can be taken readily and tolerated for a long time by delicate stomirhs. AND AS A IIHMBPT FPU rOSt7MPTIO?f, StiiOHJIiOtS AHUIMINS, ANURIA. 11K.N KKAI. limiMIV, t'OIUUS AMI IIIIUIAT At' H.CT IONS, and ill MAS1I.MI IHMMUIULS i? tilll.llltKX It In nurrfllOTOi In IK rfunlm. rrcscrllied and endorsed by tho beat rhyslcl&nl lu tho countries of tho world. FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. o)t-?l-ly. BAUGH'S S25 PHOSPHATE r 1 1 1 Ol Contain! the life and Essence ol fflMJU Pir""- Animal, Boom. C1IKAI", HK1.IAULE, 1.A8TINO BAUGH & SONS, IfK aB Manufacturers. ' f rniLADELrniA, pa. V"v& "aJLV For Sale by C. IV. LOW, XSTABLisiiEu ls.s. Orangevllle, Pa. DOl.TiATtH paya for Liru auuoLARBilir m BUSINESS COLLEGE 170) Chtilmt 81, I'hilidelpkii. Positions for Graduates. Time required 3 to 4 mos. The Best Equipped. Ilest Course of Btudy. Best Ev erything Write fur Urculara. J 9 Cms. p c SAnil islr rents fnr nest. Trill c, nnd receive free.a cost Jill' 1 1' ly box of gtoda which wll 1IC1II )UU IU 1I1UIU MIUUVJ . right away than anything: clso In this world. All. of pit her hex. succeed from fliRtlimir. The hrftnrt ronrt to fortune ODCns be- fo e tho workers, absolutely sure. At onco ad dress. True S Co., Augusta, JIalno. i" --less TO FARMERS ! Any one In want of tho Gluss Feed Fertilizer, Grain Drill, Cider Mill or any thing Manufactured by the Company, can get them of AARON SMITH, BUCKIIORN, PA. arr. 15-Gms. D. LANCELL'S ASTHMA AND CAYARRH REMEDY. SOLI) BY ALL DltUGQISTS. liRvinir RtrnrrL'led LHi vcars between llfo and rlenih with asthma or I'llTIIIijIC. treated by eminent physicians, awl receUlng no beneht, I was comiiencti uuni it iiieiahtn ycixin ui uu 111- nohs to sit on inv chair day and night gasping for orenin. .ny suiicmiKa wcio ucjuuu ul-cviiihiuu. In despair I expeilmentcd on uiyselt by conv nnnmlliic rnnlq nml hertirt and Inhaling tho medt cine thus obtained. I fortunate! discovered this WONllKKFUI, CUItK FOlt ASTHMA AMI) UA TAltltll. warranted to rellcfp tho moit stubborn casoor AHTIIMA IN FIVK JIINUTKS, so that the patient can lie down to rest and sleep comfortably, l'leose read the following condensed extracts from unsolicited testimonials, uu oi ivcciu uuie: Oliver V. 1L Holmes. Kan Jose. C'al.. writes: '! And tho remedy all and oven more than repre teuted. 1 receive instantaneous icilef." K. JI. uarson, A. warren, Kansas, writes: "Was treated by eminent physicians of Hits cnuntrvand (lerinany: tried tho climate of different states nothing aUorded relict llko your preparation T. n dates. County Treasurer. Phllade phla. Sllss.. wiltes: "llavo used the ltemeoi'. Vould not llvo without It. Kvery ono that uses It re commends it." feied with asthma 41) yeura Your medicine In 3 minutes does moro for mo than tho most eminent l ll. l'liems. l'. M.. llrictra. tlhio. writes: 'ui- physician did lor me in tnreo years." ll. c. l'lumpton, Jollet, 111., writes: "t-end Ca tarrli llemedy at once, t'annot get along without iu 1 unu ll to ue- too most vaiuauio mcuicinu i havo ever tried." tiro. W, lirsdy, Nelson Co., Ky., wiltes: "lam uslnu'the lemedr. (lamed B rounds in 2 weeks. would not bo without It." Mariin rox, utile trans, N. v., wrnes: "raa llemedy excellent. Could uot live u Ithout It." Wo lia o many other hearty testimonials of cure or relief, and In order that all sufferers from Asth ma. Lutarrn. nay rever. anu ainareaaiseascs may huve an opportunity Qt testing tho value of the jiemeuy we will scau iu uuy uunress iitiAi.1 auk AUli 1' KKK ilf L'llAKUK. AUdrCbH, J. ZI M)l HUMAN 45 CO., I'rnprielors, Wholesale Druggists, Woostcr, Wajnoca, O. Full b!o box by mall f 1. may'-ly. DVHl'l'.l'SIA. ItsNaturo. causes, Proven Holland euro, liyjohn II. .McAIMn, Iowel Mass.. 14 v ears tax collector, sent free to any ad uress. uubr,w 4vr u iiiiii tnoioinon 1 Terms fi moio money than at anything elsobytaka ageucy ior ine uest. seiuug uook oul ts succeed grandly, rione tail tree, iiallxtt uook i;o..t'oTLi h juaine. tueciSDO. OFFJCE- !h well stocked with material for doing all kinds of printing. Ii in great variety. All kinds of BLAME kept in stock. Special prices 'on largo orders. Oflico 2nd door below Fxcliango Hotel, luain street, 1JLOOMSBURQ, PA. 10 HP mm llio Jobbing Departnieut of Ife .wBiil.i 7" THE LITTLE PEOPLE. It was Freddyls first nxperlenco with iodft water. Drinking hl glass witli perlmi mi duo cngcriiess ho wai nwaro of n tingling nenwtton in hli nostrlln, "How do you llko Itl" liuiulml his mother, who had fttixnl h-ent. Freddy thought n moment, wrinkling hli hobo iu he did no, nnd then olwrvcdt "It Ustos llko j our f ooh vim asleep." Kxchango, "Jin, can I go over to Balllo's houo and play n little whiter asks 4-j-cnr-old Mamie, "Yes, dcnrl I don't caro If you do." "Thank you, inn," was the demuro reply, "I've Uen." Detroit Kreo l'ress. Morence, ngl 4, demnuded ns her per qulslto the wMilnno of every fowl hrotight lnt tho houw. Ono itny sho was carefully arranging her collection when her father camo Into tho room. "Fader," sho said, looking up, "fader, I you doln' to die!" "Why, yes, Klorcnco, wo mint nil dlo aomo time," he Kald, toucheit by her earnest look. "Fader, when you does die, may I linvo your wlshliono!" Homo (N, Y.) Hentlnel. "Mr. Jones," said llttlo Johnny to tho goutleninn who was making nn nftcrnoon call, "can whisky talk!" "No, my child, how ever can you nsk such n question!" "Oh, nothing, only inn wild whisky was beginning to tell on you." Hotel News. Tho new bnliy had proved Itself thn pos sessor of oxtrnonllnnry vocal lowers, nnd had exercised them much to Johnny's an noyance. Ono day Iw said to his mother: "Ma, llttlo brother came from heaven, didn't he I" "Yes, dear." Johnny was silent for somo tlmo nnd then he went on. "Say, iiwP "What Is It, Johnny I" "I don't bltuno thu angels for bouncing him, do you I" Merchant Traveler. A llttlo lioy was watching his mother lunlto saudvt Iches to carry to the plcnlo last Thurs day and asked what sho was putting between tho biscuits. She replied! "Deviled ham." 1 to thought for u moment nnd then said: "Well, you needn't glvo luo nuy of thntluid man's ham, for I belong to tho Star of rromlse." Falrhavcn (Mass.) KUir. A bright llttlo girl Iu tho First Presbyter Ian Sunday school, Ukiii being asked what sort of a spirit that of tho 1'harisea was, re plied: "It was doing a good thing, nnd then feeling big over it." Hudson Hegister. "Grandpa," said Teddy, ns tho old gentle man woko up from n loud snoring after-dinner nap, "if you would glvo your nose a spoonful of purogorld don't you think you could put it to sleep, tool" Chicago Jiedger. "Mary, I wish you would bo n better llttlo girl," said n father wo wot of, to his llttlo girl. "You have no Idea howsorry I nm that iniiiunui has to scold you so much." "Oh, don't worry about it, papa," was tho reply: "I'm not one of those sensitive children I Half tho tlmo I don't hear what sho says." Wil mington Homo Weekly. A llttlo city maiden, on a visit to her uncle's farm, saw a threshing machine in operation for tho first time. "Oh, mammal" cried she, rushing Into tho house all out of breath, "there's something out In Undo Joe's barn witli two horses In it, nnd they keep going and going any never get anywhero." Philadelphia Call. A llttlo child onco asked his mother tho question: "Mother, what part of heaven do people goto who nro good but not agreeable!" Christian Advocate OLD FOLKS. Herr IUchlni, one of tho "mimics" of the. Vienna ojiera house, still nppeurs in panto mime at the ngo of 80. Ypbtlanti Is excited over tho rumor of a forthcoming wedding, tho prospective brido being SO and tho groom (X) years of ngo. Miss Nancy Illcp, tho oldest jwrson in Ply mouth county, Mass., died on Wednesday, ngcsl 101 years, 0 months nnd 117 days. Sho was ono of n choir that sang at a memorial service when Washington died. Jenny Llnd is now quite a beautiful old lady. Her wonderful voleo is not dead, but it lias passed into nn echo, Dolly Pago Hosnier, aged 109 years (tho usual llihlo record to show for it), died in lioston last week Now York World. John O'Malley, of Perry, la., Is in his ll'.'th year, nnd jiossesses good bodily health. Ho recently walked three miles with ho aid exit pt n stout walking stick, and felt no hi conwnienco from tho trip. llchind tho hearso which lioro Mine. Gurull, njjed 114, tothogravo In St, Petersburg, tho other day, walked her sister, who is now llrm of step nt the ngo of 113 years. A riilne.se student, according to Tho Jour nal dti Havre, w ho has reached tho rospeet nblo ugo of 10(1, recently presented himself licfnro n learned Ijody of Chinese savants, nnd a.kisl iienutWon to lio examined. Ho was itironiiianled by his wifo and tw o sons, uged (HI nnd N) respectively. Tho other candidates for degrees who happened to bo present accosted tho centenarian iu u moit respectf ul manner, addressing him as "Old Master." He objected, however, nnd Insisted that they should simply call him "Comrade." Ono hi never too old to learn I New York Herald. The Piilntlng. iu the Paris Salon. It h estimated that the pictures sent to the Paris Salon this year would, If placed In a line, extend for eaven kilometres. A minute's examination bestowed on each would take 110 hours. THE STAGE. llartloy Campbell's play, "Siberia," has lieen purchased by Mr. T. I). McDonough, who will place it on tho road tho coming season. Hilly Birch has left San Francisco for Chi cago, where he is engaged with a new min strel organization. Lawrence Barrett's first stand as a star was In Buffalo, at the Metropolitan theatre, in August, 1NW, tho phiy being "Hosedale." Ilosina Vokes will bring "Tho Schoolmis tress" back to America with her, and it is not improbable that Miss Victoria Vokes will come over to play Mrs. John Wood's part. 4 George C, Brotherton semis out tho "Little Tycoon" tho coining season with tho follow ing jieoplo In thu cost: B. E. Graham, LouUo Pauliu, Will S. HLIng and It. N, DunUr. The original scenory and costumes will be carried. Miss Margaret Mather has entered upon an extremely prosperous engagement In San FiuncUco, whero sho has appeared in "Borneo and Juliet," and won the unanimous uppro liutiou of tho local press, Mrs. Langtry Is oxpected In Now York very soon, Col. McCaull is going to bring Suldene lack to us. Miss Soldcne will carry her smllo In 11 packing case. Gertrudo Griswold, tho ypuug American singer who has lieen waking Imdou up lately, Is another of the colonel's engages. Dramatic News. Thomas W, Koene, tho tragedian, fills en gagements next seaon in Clovcland, Chicago, St. Iiuls, Louisville, Nashville, Pittsburg, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Boston and Now York. Viola Allen, who will he remembered as the leading lady at various times with Mc Cullough, Salvlnl, Barrett and Sheridan, will star tho coming season lu a now comedy drama written for her by W. C. Cowpcr and called "Talked About." A young American woman, Miss Groll, of Cleveland, who is said to possess n very lieau tlful nnd (lruiuatlu voice, will make her debut next season at La Scala, Milan, iu a new oiiera by Samara, a Greek composer, It Is said that tho Pilnco of Wales went to seo "Nancy & Co." and was greatly smitten with Kdlth Klngdou. In fact ho kept his opera glass on a level with her lovely eyes all tho livening. At th :loo of tho performance he was presented tq alt the lados of (ho com pany. Mr. and Mrs. W, J, Florence have n now play by Messrs. Louis Melbourne and Wil liam Gill. It is called "Tho Flirt," and will have a trial performance In Toronto early In tho autumn. Henrietta Chanfrau will present on Sept. 20 a new play entitled "Thu Scupcgoat," which will havo been tried during tho pre vious week In Philadelphia. The authorship U tho saino as that of "Jim, tho Penman," wj)jch Is to lie used at the Madison Square Minnie Jfiuldepi enters this, year upon her fifth season us a star, and will again bo under tho management of Arthur Miller, Her sen. sou logins lu Octolicr, ending on tho llrst day of Ijcut, after which Miss Muddern closes nnd Sous to Kan Francisco, where she will pro uce different plays, supported by a Califor nia company, Hartley Campbell's decay is uninterrupted und becoming daily speedier In its progress. Mrs. Thm her says tho plans for tho Amer ican Opera comjiany's season huvo not yet Ihh.ii completed, but It has been decided to bo gin In tho west and give n spring eenson In ew YPrk at tlio Metropolitan pperit ioilo, Dlxcy is now declined to bo 11 bigger nmq In London than Henry Irving, and to ho coining money by steam. Tlio splendid emoluments of tho drainatlo artitt lu tlio west aro hinted at by tho caso of lllss Connelly, u character actress with O. It. Gardner's "Zo Zo." Hha received V n week and kept heiielf. Tho manager wanted to cut her down to Hi for fear wealth would spoil tier, tuitl khi migud. DrouiaUo News. VMM EELU'S CATARRH MIDI, THU tlKHAT Blood Purifier o( li: World. an aiisoi.uti: rimis roit CATARRH. flHIS "wtt MuMmrn pomp IcM rcndlly io It I nixl tiflMiut rullciltu v irn n plntilo cato JL wliere dlrecttom nro fjlluntd. ltscucoc tins been reiniukiiilnniii. it ctirpsoiulcr. fill. It Is tlio inotri ,,'PMfiil ircpnrnttou In tho mnrkctror CJATAIiltlt nml ttiu only ono thnt iiromlfcs nn Ahunlutn ronltUn Cure. It Is truly n Mc'Mn to innnklnil. A Trlul lit nil that U nhrtl fur It. Onco tigcil, It U always rcrotntncmleil, Kend for testimonials vt actual cuies. IT HAS NO KlJUAL POIt MALARIA. A WSITIVH CURE IS ASSURED. Ono hottlo Ix gcncrnlty sumclent for a euro. Stop tafrltitr (luitttiio. A trlnl only- is nuked fur Kri.. LKit's i'ataiihu iikmkiiv. il is a srnuirio fur nil iIIpiciipci nrEstiiLC H'om nn Impurohlood nnd ilrliei: nil cruitlons inim tlio (kin. For Synhl. litleeoinplfilntrf Itis superior to any preparation In tlic market. Ono hottte will euro most of tlio following coinplnlntfl and a continued uso will 1'ositivki.y cmo. Savo doctor bills and try It. HIIKUMATISM. SCKOI'ULA. SKIIU KHUPTIOKS. VKXKUKAI, DISEASES. DYSl'lU'SIA. LOSS OF APPETITE. I'EELIIV'G OK LANGOUlt. IULIOUSWESS. LIVER THOU11LES. ATEKUOUS WEAKNESS. P'EAIALE WEAKNESS. Kkli.i:u's Oataiikii Hkmudy Is no patent medicine, hut a sale and pleasant preparation lotnkennit surely tlio irrentest moiltcat discov ery of tlio age. Ono hottlo rejuvenate tlio entire system nnd possesses, moro vlrluo than a half .107011 bottles of ordinary patent preparations. Write for testimonials and ether Information. -0-1'or snlo by lrugirlts itenerally. I'ltlfi: Kt.OO A IIOTTI.K. MIX HOT Tl.i:s l oll S..-.00. On receipt of sr.. OO by llio iniinufaeturcn, Samuki. 1". KEI.Lr.it & Co., llnrriOmrg, Pa., six bottles will bo sent express puui. For " worn-out," "run-down," ilcbllllattsl school toaihi'is,nillllnci?i,8inictrcss.'S,houso kccpeifl, nnd ocr-worKcil women generallv, Dr. l'lcrco'f) l'avorltn Prpsorlptlon Is tlio lust ol all restnratlvo tonics. ltlsnotu"Curo-all," but mlinlnibly f ullllls u singleness of puniose, being it most, jiotcnt HM'clllo for all thoso Clironta Vinkncss.'S and Diseases ptcnllar to women. It Is 11 powerful, genenil as well as uterine, tonlo nnd lien luo, and Imparts vhror and strcnirtli to the whole system. 1 1 prompt !v cures weakness of slnm.icli. Indigestion, blnnf. lug, weak lmek, nervous piostratlon, debility nnd sIivplessni'KS, lu cither box. lavorlto Pru Fcrlptlon is sold liy dniffirists mider our piwf Ifrr aimriinlrf. tco wnuijier nround loltle. I'rico $1.00, or islv IioiiIvh Cor l?.',.00. A largo treat iso on lllseasi's of Women, pio-fusclj- lllustruti'd with cnlnicd lilutcs and nn nierous woisl-cuts, sent for 10 cents In slumps. Addriw, Woiiu'8 Disi'Exs.tiiv -Mldicai. Association, iksi Main Stiect, lluffulo, N. V. hlCJK llllAIIAOlin, lliilnus Headache, and t'ontlpiitlnii, pnimiilly currcl by Dr. l'icitsi's l'i'lli'ts. li'KJ. a vial, by di tiggists. RAILROAD TIME TABLE. JQELAWAHli, LACKAWANNA AND WKSTKltN ttAir.lm.Ml. BLOOMSBU11G DIVISION. NOHTIt. STATIONS. south. o.m. n.m. a. in S Ul IS 311 a.m. a.m. n.m. a .10 8 SO 8 23 h in ....icranton.... Uellevuo.... ...Taylorvlllo... .. Lackawanna.. riltbton..... ..West Plttston. ....Wyoming.... . . ..Maltby licunetl., ., ....Kingston.... o r.-i 12 lie, 8 48 IS 2-1 8 id 12 ir. " IU M 15 2 05 0 15 20 2 10 0 20 9 20 2 15 fi 27 Q ai 001 8 3.1 12 08 8 10 8 0.1 7 58 7 54 7 50 7 iT 0 34 9 41 2 30 8 2. 13 03 8 22 11 58 8 II 11 M u 4U 41 2 SB 0 45 9 53 2 41 0 49 9 50 2 44 0 53 10 (Kl a 47 8 13 11 50 8 03 11 47 8 08 11 17 8 n:i 11 a fi 68 10 ns 11 Kn 7 47 0 58 10 05 2 60 7 43 Plymouth June 7 59 11 38 7 02 10 10 2 65. . .13 ....nj mouth.... 1 31 ....Avondalo. . 7 Mill Nnntlf.rtl-Q 7 07 10 15 3 00 7 51 11 31 7 60 11 30 7 4.1 11 S3 7 80 11 13 7 18 11 00 7 11 10 51 7 03 10 47 6 68 10 41 7 12 10 203 05 7 15 10 25 3 10 7 23 in H2s er 7 33,Hunlock's Crock 7 12 7 00 0 5) 0 41 0 41 6 38 fi 31 0 37 0 31 C 10 ..Milckshlnny. 7 37 10 413 S9 ..hick s rerry.. ..lieacli Haven.. llcrwlck.... .lirlar Creek... ..Vlllow Grove.. ...Llmollldgo... 7 50 11 11 3 62 7 57 11 0C3 58 8 04 11 13 4 05 8 10 11 20 4 12 8 14 11 23 4 16 8 18 11 29 4 20 8 25 11 30 4 27 8 SO 11 44 4 34 8 51 10 38 6 50 10 31 6 43 10 37 a .ia 10 21 ...illoomshurg". s 30 10 10 6 25 10 11 0 ll.Catawl'a llrldgo 8 41 11 65 4 46 Rll. Il.nvltln lll.a.n.n.. 8 811 11 60 4 40 03 9 50 6 00 5 65 5 40 p.m. 9 49 9 43 9 33 am. 49 ....Chulasky,... 05 12 2115 13 (..,.j....,uuii-iuut...i sua lwUooii 5 33 Northumberland 9 25 12 405 35 in. iu. 11. iu. 11. in W. V. ItAT.KTTl'Atl (Jim Superintendent's omce. Scranton, reb.lst,iS2 Pennsylvania Railroad. Ml Philadelphia &. Erie R. R. Divis ion, and Northern Central Railway. tTme'table In cncct Juno lain, 1881). irilna leave Sun. bury. EASTWAltD, 9.4H a. m., Sea frhore Kxprcss (dally except Sunday), for Ilarnsburgandlutcrmedlatestatlons, uii.,,u(i ab 1 uiiuui-iiiiiiu o. 10 J, m. , ftrff lOlK, 6.20 D.m.: naltlinoie. 4.40 D. m Wnslilmrtnn. 6.50 p. in., connecting at Philadelphia for all sea Shore points. Through passenger coach to Philadelphia. . ., . , l.to p. m. Day express dally except Sunuay),for llarrlshurg and Interme diate stations, arriving at Philadelphia fi.50 p. m. ; New York, 9.15 p. in. : llaltlmore 0.43 U. m. I Washington. 8.OO n.rn. l'nrlnr par through to Philadelphia and passenger coaches vuiuutiu lu . ui.ttuciiJiiiti uuu jiuiimiure 7,45 p. m. ltcnovo Accommodation (dally for Harrlsburg and all Intermediate stations, arriv ing at Philadelphia 4 45 a. m. : New York 7.30 a. m. llaltlmore, 5.35 1. m. ; Washington cso a. m. ; Sloeplng car accommodations can bo secured at llarrlsburtr for Philadelphia and New York-, (in sun. days a through sleeping car will bo run; on this iruimruui wiiiiuinsp vioi'nuaneipuia.i'niiaaeiphla rumKun.iavuu iuiuiuiuaieeuur uiiuisiurucu uutl a. m. 7.60 a. m. Erie Mall (dally except Monday, for Harrlsburg and Intermediate stations, arrlvlmr at Philadelntda 8.25 a. m. New vorit: 11.30 a. m. i llaltlmore 8.15 a. m. ; Washington, 9.23 a. m. Through Pullman Bleeping cars aro run on this train to Philadelphia, lialllmoro und Washing. ton, uuu lurouKu passenger coacues to I'liliadel. phla and llaltlmore. WESTWAltD. 5.10 a. m. Erie Mall (dally except Sunday), fo. Erie and all Intel mediate stations nnd 1'nnnmini gua and Intermediate stations, itochester. Uuffa IoandNlagaraKalls,wlththiough l-ullmon Pal- uce curs uuu passenger coaencs to Erie and Itoclv ester. 9.53 News Express (dally except Sunday) foi 1.00 p. m. Niagara Express (dally except Sun. day) for Kane andlntermedlatestatlons and Can. anualgua and principal Intermediate stations. Itochester, liunulo and Niagara Falls with through passenger coaches to Kane and itochester and Parlor car to Watklns. 5.30 p. in. l'ast Line (dolly except Sunday)for He novo and intermediate stations, and Klrafra, Wut. urns uuu micruicuiiiio bunions, witu through pas senger coaches to Itenovo and watklns. 9.20 a. m.-Sunday mall for Keuovo and lntcrme. U1UVU BLU11UU TnitOUail TltAINS I'OIt SUN1IUHY J'ltOMTllE AAI31 AflU OUU1 U. Sunday mall leaves Philadelphia 4.80 a. m Harrlsburg 7.40 arrlv ing at Suubury 9.20 a. m. with luruuguniccpiugcur iroiu inuaaeipiiia to Wll. llamsport. News Exnress leaves l'hlladelnhln 4 .in n tn Harrlsburg, 8.10 a. in. dally except Sundai arriving at sunbury 9.63. a. m. ..u a 1 t . - . , N1agara Express leaves - miuuciLium, i.iuu, UI.J umujuuru 7.30 a. m. (oaiiv except Sunday arriving at sunbury, 1.00 p. m.. with through Parlor car from Philadelphia and through passenger coaches from l'huadel. LIIlliL uuu uuuiuiuiu. Fast Line loaves Now York 9.00 a. m, 1 Phlladel Phla.ll.50a. in. : Washlnirton. 9.60 a. in inm. more, 10.45 a. m., (dally except Sunday) arriving at ...........J. v.w p. ..... Kiwi .uiuuuu passeuuei coaches f 1 om PhlladclDlila und luitrmnnT Erie Hall leaves New York 8.00 p. in. : phlladel. phla, 11,20 p. in. ; Washington, 10.00 p. m. j Haiti. mum, ii.w I., iu.. luuiij uAouiib.auiuruayi arnvinir at sunbury 6.10 a. m., with through Pullman Sleeping cars from Philadelphia, Washington and lialllmoro end through passenger coaches froo NlIMIITItV, IIA.I.UTtlN X- WIl.KUMIIAKUi; ...i........ .ti.v , u I 11 ..11 II V ItSi'l' UK AMiii inn, w.tv. , , (Dally oxcept sunuay.) wllkebbarro liall leases Minlmrv lomn arriving at Uloom Ferry 10.63 a.m., Wllivcs-barie linlo p in Express East leaves Sunbury 6.33 p. m.. arriving at Uloom Ferry 0.3S p. in., Wllkcs-barro 7.W p. m Sunbury ilail leaves Wllkesharrelo.4ua. 111. arrlv. lngat Uloom Ferry 13.05 p. ra.,nunbury 12.15 n. m Express West leaves Wllkes harre 2.15 p. in' ar. riving at Uloom Ferry 4.16 p. m.,bunbury Mcp.ni SUNDAY ONLY. Sunday mall leaves Sunbury B.25 a, m., arrlvlmr Sunday accommodation leaves Mlken-Uarre 610 jun., arrlvuig at Uloom Ferry, .(! p. m., Sunbury, , 'ci?AlnE.ruaiL j, it. wood, aen.Mwiager. oen. pawcngcr Agent TRADt U A tilt, INTERESTING PARAGRAPHS. Tho government ts soon to puMMi n list of unclaimed monoyt duo to IndlvldunK Al though the amounts duo to pnitlculnriwrsom nro small, tho sum total aggregates about ei.ooo.ooo. Mnlno contains 12.G00 pcnsloneTS, receiving J2,S0i),0ix) yearly, excluslvo of naval jieiisloni. Ono person In every thlrty-flvo in England nnd Wnles 4 a pauper, Probably tho largest watermelon ever seen In llnltlmoro nrrlvcd in tho city from Augusta, tin, It was twenty-seven nnd one half Inches long, and twelve Inches In ill iimeter, lialllmoro American. A prolltiiblo uso has at last been found for tho steamship llrent Ilnstern. Bho has been tunioUnto n lloatlng templo of nimisemcnt at Llvcriiool with prollUiblo results to tho lessees. It Is now proiKised to take her from ono place to another ns a sort of perlpatctlo variety show. Tho longest clock pendulum In tho world Li nt Avignon, Franco. It Is slxty-soven feet long, and requires four and n half seconds to swing through an area of nlno nnd n halt feet, Tho number of Jows In tho world nt present Is but fl,!KI0,(KI0, of whom 0,400,000 nro iu Ku roiic. There aro 10,000 Jows In tlio United Htntes, !i,r,.W,(Klo In llussm, 1,011,(100 111 Aus trian Hungary, C(18,(J00 In Oalllcln, (W,(ioo in Hungary, UtiflOO in Clcnnaiiy and (SI,U00 lu France. Oeorgo Phillips, of Ulnghamtou, Solano county, Cal., has just completed an organ containing 400 pipes, the longest being idxteen feet. All tho pipes nro mndo of old news pajiei s rolleil nnd fastened with a paste mndo of gluo nnd nlinn. Tho woodwork was mndo entirely of old feuco boards, jsists, dry goods boxes nnd tho like. Ho was two years in building this instrument, u hlch Is said to havo nn excellent lone. A year ago lmxwoo.1 found a ready market for $100 a ton. Now tho market is dull nt t'M. The bursting up of the skating rink bubble did tho business. There Is Mild to bo nearly 800 opium smokers in Boston, nnd tho number Is Increas ing every day. A world's fair will bo held nt Adelaide, Australia, next June. The news from tho whaling fleet In tho Arctic ocean is discouraging, tlio catch nt lutcst reiiorbi lielng very sninll. This 1ms had tho effect to ndvnnco tho price of w lmlcbone twent y-llvo cents a pound, to $3. Pio factories lire among the miscellaneous Industries of Now Haven, Conn., employing many hands. Tho plo factory of ono man ulone turns out mnny thousand pies daily. Theso factories ship pics all over New Eng land, to New York, and to many other points. New Haven ts a pie center, as well as a local point of learning, refinement and aristocratic excluslvcness. At Cannes, In Franco, one distillery alono uses in a season In tho making of perfumes 140,000 jiounds of orango flowers, tho same of roso leaves, 30,000 pounds of acacia blooms, !,0U0 pounds of jasmine flowers, 110,000 of tuberoses and an unmeasured amount of Parma violets. Colored men propose to raise $1,000,000 to erect monuments at Washington to tho beno factors of their race. An Iowa gentleman has Increased the cir culation of Ills paper by periodically present ing each subscriber with a check, good at any local drug btorc, for a glass of soda water. England buys 8in,252,M out of tho J20, 80j,S24 worth of Ikvcoii we export; of hams, $'.,454,Ut)0 worth out of tho t3,8.'Il,S0J j nenrly half of tho f 3,402,533 of pork, and about ouo third of our surplus lard. A Brockton, Mass. , shoemaker has spent a deal of valuable tlmo lu making a pair of shoes out of 832 different pieces of leather. Each tip contains 100 small diamond-shaped pieces. Fourteen' different kinds of leather were used, and various colored silks were used in doing tho stitching. Military ballooning has now reached such a stage in Germany that under officers aro being trained in balloon steering. Two ser geants havo just been awarded certificates attesting their efliclency in this art. Tho school census gives Chicago a popula tion of 7(0,817, an increase during the last year of almost 73,000. The human family living to-dny on earth consists of about 1,450,000,000 Individuals. A Magnolia (la.) canary bird died recently aged 23 years. Twenty-flvo years ago tuero was not a newspaper in Jupun, now thero nro 2,000, a largo majority of them using the lloman characters. Tho Russian National academy will glvo in 1023 tho cash prize of $1,0(X),000 for the liest literary work 011 tho "Llfo and lteign of Alexander I." Tho largest -barn lu tho world is probably that of tho Union Cuttle, company, of Cheyenne, near Omaha. It covers live acres, cost $123,000, and accommodates 3,T50 head of cattle. A recent visitor to Paris was much struck with tho fact that no houso in any street ho went through was numbered thirteen. Ho says this is owing to tlio sujierstition of tlio French people concerning tho number thir teen. It is tho strongest of all their super stitions. A Pittsburg man has invented a dock that runs for one year without winding. THE LITTLE PEOPLE. A little miss, while at the seashore, chanced to get a mouthful of sea water. After think ing some minutes she said: "Mamma, do 'e fishes llvo in 'at wutcr all '0 timer" "Yes, dear, what makes you ask!" "Why, I was just linking 'at they must get awful flrsty," was the reply, Merchant Traveler, A little boy'was watching his mother make sandwiches to curry to tho plcnlo last Thurs day, and asked what sho was putting between tho biscuits, Bho replied, "Dovlled ham." Ho thought for a moment and then replied, "Well, you needn't give mo uny of that bad man's ham, for I belong to the Star of Prom ise." Falrhaveu (Mass.) Star. There is a new baby on Deer Hill avenuo. It is a small one. Its little 5-ycar-old sister watched it carefully for a fcw minutes yester day, and then turned to the maternal head of tho family nnd said: "Mamma, couldn't papa have paid another dollar mid got a larger one!" Dunbury Democrat. "Who made youl" inquired a teacher of a lubberly boy who had lately joined her class. "Don't know," he said. "Don't know I You ought to lio nshamed of yourself a boy 11 years old. Why, there's Dickey Feltonj ho ouly 3; ho can tell, I daresay. Como here, Dickey, Who made youf" "God," lisped the child. "There" said tho teacher. "I knew he would remember." "Well, he oughter," said the stupid boy, '"taint but a little while ngo since he was made." Ex change, Old Gentleman (to boy) Do you go to Sun day school, llttlo boy Llttlo Boy Nop. Old Gentleman You shouldn't say nop. Nor church! Little Boy Nop. Old Gentleman Bless me! Aren't your parents Christian people! Little Boy Yep. But you seo one's a Catholic and the other's a Protestant, That lets me out Lifa CURIOUS FACTS. Henry and George Peacock, of Now Dig gins, Wis., were hauling hay, and ns they started down a somewhut steep hill in tho Bold they locked ono of the wheels of tho loaded wagon. As they drove down tlio hill the friction of tho wheel uhu tho ground ig ntted tho dry grass, mid tho lire spread so rapidly that it required tho combined droits of cloven men tq extinguish It. In an Indian mound near Oakland, Ind., was unearthed recently 11 stono wall ten fmt square, Within .were llvo or six tkeletons, three copper vessels filled with fifty pounds of rich filver ore, n copper ax weighing eighteen pounds iittuched to a stono handle, nnd a uumlier of stone hatchets. Tho potrllUd skeleton of a whalu over thirty feet long tins lieen discovered by an olllccr of the conU survey 011 a range of mountains In Monterey county, Cal., over 3,1)00 feet abovo the sea level. A iicculiur case of poisoning occurred tho other day near New Brunswick, N, Y, A farmer was walking through his corn Held when his arm was scratched iu somo way by nconstulk, Tho arm swelled up und tlio farmer died tho next day, A Boston surgeon opened tho abdomen of a patient, drew up and cut oieii hi stomach, took therefrom a set of teeth which had lain there for a year, and sewed up tho ajierturo with tine silk, tho operation being completed lu forty-live minutes. Sirs. W. 13. Marshall, of Big Ilnpids, Mich., was recently poison by somo zephyr with which sho was woiktng, tho jiobou being con tained in thu uniline which had lieen used In coloring tlio zephyr. For n time her recovery seemed doubtful, her head nnd body bclnc frightfully swollen. Tho lock of umountuln near tho town of Bauta C'iuz was recently discovered to be heavily diargcd with electricity, A unall handful of tho rock applied to u battery gen erate!) sutllclout force to operate tho battery far three weeks. for Infants and Children. "CMtorUlssowclladaptMtocuUdrenthat I CMtorin curia Colic, Constipation, Ul Bo. Oxford St, Brooklyn, N. Y. I Without Injurious medication. Tm CoTinn Coktaxt, 163 Fulton Street, N. Y. PERRINE'S l'UHK BAULKY P I wll IPH: few DisTii.un Irom Fclccltd llnrlcy Volt ami guaranteed to bo chfrnlcnlly pute and treo from bijutlous oils nnd irldsottcn conlnlntd In nlcoliollo liquors. It Is especially adapltd lopcrtuns lcoulilngn sllmulallngtcnlc, Consumptives being greatly benefitted by lis use. llccommcndcd by leading physicians as a Diuretic, Nervine, ToMc nnd Iterative. For consumptives it Is Invaluable. PlotlllNE'H l't'lli: llAHI.HY .MALT WlllhUKV Insures n return of vigor to the Momnch, a good appetite, a rich nnd abundant blocd and Increaieil lloth nnd murcular tissue, A stimulant mild and gentlo in edrct. Dyspepsia, Indigestion nnd nil wasting dls eases can bo entirely conqueicd by tho uso or Perrlno a Pino Hurley Malt Whiskey. It Isn tonlo and diuretic and a powerful sticngthcncr to the entire system. peI(. KINK'S I'l'lll! liAIUXY JIAI.T WMisKKl has proved a medicinal protection to thoso w ho purstio their avocations In the open nfr and whose dally work calls lor rxrepllnnnl powers of endurance. Ask tour nearest druggist or grocer tor It. PKlll!INi:'81't'lli:ilAllI.UY JIAI.T UHISKhYievlves tho energies of thoso worn out with excfbMvobodllv or mental effort and acts as n safeguard against, exposure in wet and rigorous weather. It will ilrlvoali mahirlnii diseases from t ho system. Hard workers of every vocation and persons wlmm n rcdentnry lltnrenilrrs prone to iiysncpsin una 111 rctrine s i uro Jlnlt Whiskey a powerful Invlgornnt mid helper 10 tilgnstlon. PHIllllNH'S Pt UK IlAItU'.Y MAI.T- Wlllr-KIIY without unduly stimulating the kid in ys Inoi cases their Hugging activity, counteracts tho meets nt fatigue, has tens convalescence nnd Is a wholesome nnd prompt diuretic. Watch tholabel I ono genuine unless tailing tho signature For sale Dy nil druggists nnd grocers throughout the United .States and Camillas. 37 NORTH FRONT ST. 38 NORTH "WATER ST., PIIILA FOIt SALi: 11Y IllVi()!STS AND ALL DKALKItS. (J 6ms. ECONOMY TILE JPKACTICAE QUESTION OF THE HOUR. EVERY THING THAT IS m AND STYL CAN BE BOUGHT (CIEIAPEm THAI WESL A Large and liMiMiiMMBBaBSMMiMMMIjalMtJMtla JUST RECEIVED. ALSO A LARGE AND SELECT LINE OP Call and be Convinced that you have the LARGEST SELECTION OF GOODS OF THE LATEST STYLES BEST QUALITY, The Lowest Possible Prices AT THE OF WO iiUilii, Blooinsfoiirg, Pa, CMAIN & B. JROBMNS, DEALER IN Foreign m Mammtie WINES AND LIQUORS km JOBBER IN CIGARS. BL00MSBURG, PA. Wlioleeale ami WAOOWf MAKERS' AND , BLACKSMITHS' SUPPLIES. Headquarters (or MERCHANT IRON & STIiEL- Storo and Wnuhr-ut.es, Nos. Avenue, jno. H l.ack'a Avinuo ter Direct, SCRANTON, PA. ill ALT WHISKEY. nancy if Tlio annlrsls as It nnncnrR hv tlic I.n-I uei on every uoiiie: j inmiriirciiiiiyan-: slvred tliol'iinu Haiilkv Malt Wins. !itv mode ly l. . .1. s l'crtlne nnd ntu) it entirely ireo rrom rusei on, runuroi, metals and acids and Is nbiolutcl) pure." Stuiml, Camilla Arthur itateri uraauaie urine tmiv rei lies of Munich O'enem uml HWnhntfen Varied Stock of For tho Celcbralcil Chickcring, Ivers & I'ond, ami Voso & Bon l'lauos. 'Worlilio. nownuil Estcy Organs, Violins, Accordtuns and faUeet Music. Cclulnateil Wliltc, New HIgli Arm I)r.vls, New Home, lloyul Bt. John, mid Light Hunning Domestic bcwlng Machines. NeedlCB, oil and attnrhnientB for all makes of Sewing Machines. STREET,) liclall Ut nlcrs In 120 ifc 12H Franklin & 210, 212 & 211 Cen ii 111 THE SEAON,