THE COLUMBIAN AND DEMOCRAT, BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA, COUNTY, PA. Somo Prank Confessions I "Our remedies nro unreliable." Dr. Valentino Mott. "Wo lmvo multiplied tllsc.ises." Dr. ltusli, Philadelphia. "Tliousauds nro annually slaughtered in tho sick room." Dr. Frank. "Tho xclonco of mcdiclno is founded on conjecture. Improved by murder." Sir Astloy Cooper, M. D. "Tha iiicillu.tl practice of tho ores rut day is neither philosophical nor common souse." Dr. Evans, Edin burgh, Scotland. Dr. Dio Lewis, who abhors drugs as a rido and practices hygiene, is frank enough, however, to say over his sig nature, ''if I found myself tho victim of a serious kidney trouble, I should tiso' Wnrucr's snfo euro becnuso I am satisfied it is not injurious. Tho med ical profession eMmls helpless in tho presence of more than ono such mat ndy." An old proverb says: If a person dies without tho services of a doctor, then a coroner must bo called in and a jury empaneled to inquire and deter mido upon tho causo of death; but if a doctor attended tho case, then no coroner and litrv aro needed as every body knows why tho person died ! uueaicai ncraia. Tricky Naval Officers, now thhy out their winks and ci- (IAIIS WITHOUT PAYING DUTY A SENATOR WHO WAS CAUOIIT SMUOOI.INO "Tho officers of tho United States Nivy," said a leading Treasury official recently to a nowspaper correspondent, "aro tho greatest smugglers among American citizens. Go into their homes hero in Washington and you will lind them filled with objects of vortu, line pictures, bronzes and Turkish rugs, which they have picked up in iorcmn countries and smuggled paat tho Uus torn House. Their collars aro stocked with choice wines which thoy havo gotten in tho samo way, and tho fino cigars they Binoko cost them about half prico when thoy como in, as they often do, on our naval vessels from Cuba. It used to be and not long ago, that naval officers sold cigala to their friends here, and a curious enso of smuggling cigars happened a.,,ybar or so ago. A merchant vessel was sent by tho navy to Havana tpr bring back to mo united states some shtp-wrecK ed sailors. Whilo thofo they obtained holdjof a lot of.cheap cigars, which they bought in such quantities that thev corded them up in a great pile, on the deck. Over this pile, which looked very much liko a cord of wood, they threw a lot of old sail cloth, and when tho Custom ofheers asked them if they had any dutiable goods on board they pointed to Ibis pile, and said it con taincd cigars. Tho Custom oflieer thought they were being guyed, and aid not look at them. "Twenty-two years ago," the Treas ury olhcer went on, "tho Trenton ap peared off the coast near Norfolk. It stopped at Fortress Monroe and laud ed a wagon load ot goods. Ono of the oflicora of the customs Department saw tho landing, but ho was unseen by the naval officers. lie suspected that the boxes and trunks contained dutiable goods, and determined to be on hand when they arrived at the express office. Fearing the advent of a Customs offi cer, they hurried tho goods on to a wagon that afternoon and rushed them over to tho nearest express office I think it was at Newport News. Hero they found thojofficer ready to recoivo them. Ho seized the goods and found them addressed to leading naval olli cials of Washington and elsewhere. Upon examination tho goods were found dutiable and tho United States was piid $500 in duties beforo they were released. "At tho time of tho Yorklown cele bration it was tho Tronton, you will re piember. which was sent over to tho old country to bring tho foreign guests, While over there tho officers in charge of her picked up a great amount 'if dutiable goods, and it is said that a well-known Lieutenant of Washington Blocked his cellars from tho trip with enough wiuo to last for years. "1 was in Canada not long ago," continued this officer, " on business connected with the United States Government, and whilo tbcro I sailed in a revenue cutter lrom Toronto down to Quebec and landed at Halifax. Here some of tho officers of the cutter want ed a few cigars for present use. vVe wero directed to a very nico establish ment. As soon as the owner knew that wo wero connected with tho. gov ernment he asked us into a very nicely-furnished back parlor and brought us many samples of fino cigars, liquors and brandies. These I sampled, ami know they were very line. Tho prices of his old Scotch whiskey and Hon "nessy were, 1 remember, about half what they cost in tho United Staler. He said : 'Of course you will want to load up hero. You can get theso goouVfor half what they will cost you in tho United States, and wo aro doing a big trado with tho navy. Four ships of tho United States navy havo been here this season, and I havo sold the olliiicrs of all of them largo ordors. He then mentioned the names of thu sliiH, but I cannot give you these. I rnu imber only that ono was thu Alliance, and I think another was tliejTeinies(.ce. Wo told him that wo wero government officers, and it w.is against tho law." "I suppose," said I, "that most of tho smuggling done now is dono in n petty way !" "Yes." was his reply, "there aro few vessels engaged in smuggling, but thero is a great deal of individual work. Many men in tho country get their clothes from Canada. Thoy send their measure to n Canadian tailor and he agrees to smuggle him the finished clothes. Gloves and cigars are smug ged in from Cuba,;and smuggled ci gars aro sold in nearly every city of prominence in tho South. You can get a Havana cigar at Charleston for twelvo coins which will cost jou twenty fivo cents in New Yoik. and wines nro cheaper in New Orleans than anywhere elso in tho United Stntes. A great deal of ninuggling is dono by European travellers. Tho daughter of a patent mcdlcino million aire lately camo homo from Kurope with forty two trunks, winch contain ed :in,()00 worth of now dresses. Under a now ruling of tho department this could not bo mado dutiable. Had duty been charged it would havo amounted to about 17,000. Uut I am speaking of naval ollicers ns smugglers Ilr, uiark tho onioi ot tho Uevemio Marine, in a report upon tho eubiect of transfering his branch of tho service toj tho Navy Department, in 1883, speaks! ot tuu smuggling oi nnvai ouicers. iio mjBthat in fivo years naval cflice's smuggled in over $700,000 worth of goods at their own appraisement, ni d that fifty naval officers weio engaged in MnUBgling, Ho sas that diiiing this timo foity-two packages wero sen. cd at tno exoress otiicca whero they , -, , it . . r wtif weiug smppeu ueyonu tno reach of Customs officers. Some of these packages wero nddrerscd to naval offi cers, others to their families, and others still to private citizens. Ono paekago contained 283 pairs of kid gloves and wai addressed to a merchant in New York city. Thero Is no doubt," con eluded the man, "but that thu smug gling still gois on, and it was not long ago that -100 Turkish rugs were landed at New London, Conn. Thoy wero list ed at the valuation of the naval officials at 818 and SI 2 apiece, but wero worth many times that. Ono of tho moM. fnmous instnnces of smuggling in the past was that of an Admiral who long ago brought over a cargo of fino stock from tho Mediterranean on ono of Ids ships. Tho nffair caused so much son nation that an order was issued ngainH its repetition. Ono of the finest lots at tho capital, near tho Whito Home, which is now wortli n fortune, was sold by Henry Clay Jor an Andalusian inckass to nn Adniiral in tho navy, nnd it is not iiuprounuio that tins annua camo over in tho nbovo way." "A Senator was caught finuggling,' said tho Treasury ofllcinl, "during the term of President Hayes. The man lives still in a Western Stale, but he is a Senator no longer. His case was a curious one, and I don t suppose any ouo outside of tho Stato Depart ment has ever heard of it. His son was Vico Consul at ono of the interior towns of Germany. Ono day llio dis patch agent, at Loudon received a pack age dono up so as to resemble pnpeis from this yonng man, addressed to his father, care of tho satno department at Washington. We had been having a great deal of troublo with goods being smuggled into tho country in this way, and tho department was trying to put a stop to it. It had notified nil the dispatch agents to be careful about what thoy did, and tho man at London, noticing that tho package had not tho Consul's frank on it, but only that of tho Vice Consul, sent it back, saying that it could not bo Edit if it contained goods, and that it must have tho Con sular frank nnd seal. I5y tho next ex press it was returned to London with tho Consular frank and seal, and with a request that it bo forwarded immed iately, as it contained important mat ter. Under the circumstances the agent had to forward it, but ho still suspected that it contained goods, and ho sent off by the samo steamer a latter to the Stato Department giving his suspicions. According to the rule which prohibits tho examination of matters addressed to tho State Depart ment by Customs officials, it was put in the State Department bag on its arrival in New York and shipped on to Washington. When it arrived here tho Senator to whom it was addressed was notified, nnd ho called upon the Secretary of Stato for it. I don't think ho was teceived by tho Secretary him self, but tho man who was presiding told him that there was a suspicion that tho matter contained in it was dutiable and not dispatches as represented ami that it must be opened beforo ho could have it. Tho Senator, upon this, be came very angry and raged up nnd down the Secretary of Slate's office, saying he had been insulted. Tho man in charge, however, quietly cut open tho package, and tho angry Senator be came very meek when he saw held up beforo his eyes a dress pattern of thirty yards of the finest of blauk gros-graln silk. The goods had then to bo sent to New York to bo appraised, and by tho time the Senator receivod it it cost him as mucli duty as it contained yards." Only i.e.1. pcriuico Bitters Known. JJlll.M, ll.a.tl. L JJ in Pfo oilier medicine Lnown bo effectually purges Ui blood of decp-watM diwawo. IUillloun bear testimony to Its wonderful curative flfecU. It 1m n purely Vegetable Preparation, motlo from tho uatlvo ln-rbi am, root of Cull for ula. tlio medicinal properties of wliltli lire extracted there from without llio uw of Alcohol, It removes the caiifte of dUcaso, and tho patient recovers Ma health. It lit the crcut Itlood Purifier and tlfe firing 1'rincfplu; a Oentle Pargatie nnd Tunic; a perfect Iteuovutur nnd Invlorutor ot the ry&Um Never beforo In tha history of the v orld ha ft medicine been compounded jfjKictIiig the (wwerof ViNKtiin Hittzhh iii houtln- the nick of every disease mua U heir to. 'the Alterative, Aperient, Diaphoretic, Car ml native, Nutritious, Laxative, Sedutivp, Counter Irritant, Sudorific, AntMlilioua, Solvent, Diuretlo and Tonic propertied of ViNKQAit Hi mens exceed thoou of any other medicine In the world. No poritoii can take the Uittkim according to dlrectloua and remain loujj unwell, provided their lones are not destroyed by mineral poUon or other lncnns, and the vital orgaud waated beyond the point of repair. Union, Remittent, Intermittent and Ma larial Kevern aro prevalent throughout the United Stale, jmrtlcularly In the valleys of our great rhers and their vat tributaries durug the Summer and Autumn, especially during fieaaons of uuuaual heat and drjnestf. '1'lieao I'evrrd are Invariably accompanied by extensive dcnuiwnients of the mouiucu, liver and bowels, lu their treatment, a purgative, exerting a powerful influence upon these oruus, is absolutely uecfsnary. There lu no rathnrtle for tho purposo equal to Dr. J. Walueii's VjNKuiit UiTTEua, as it will P-Mlily trinoto the dark-colored ylcld matter with which the bowels are loaded, at the same time rtlnuu latlng the Becrctloua of the liver, and generally restoring the healthy functions of tha digestive Organs, Fori Iff the body ai;nlnt disease by purifying all Its tluiils with ViNtoiu JiiTTKits, No epldumio can talvo bold of a tytteni thux foreariiKHl, It Invigorate thu Ntmiiiu-h and stimu late tho torpid Liver and liowets, cleansing tho blood of all lm purl t leu. Iminrtlngllie and vigor to Uitt frame, and carrying olT without tho aid of Calomel, or other mintrobi, all pobtonotM matter from tha system. It in easy of administration, prompt In action, and eeitalu in its results, 11 bit!ikliior I mUgcftlloiit Headache, Tain In Uie BhouJders, Coughs, 'i'lghtnewi of the Chest, ln?umonla, Uiulness, liad Taste In tho JIouLh, Uilloiw Attacks, l'alpltatlon of tho Heart, and a hundred other painful symptoms, aro at onco ,rv lleveil by Vikcqah Unrrita. tr liilluiiimiitory and Chronic Rheuma ttsm, (lout, Neuralgia, IIsea-u of tho lilood, Liver, Kidneys and liladder, the lfittcrs have no ecjual. lu thewe, us la allooustitutlonal Diseased, 'Wiuttu's YlKiuiAu UiTTEua has shown Its gieat curative powers In the wot obatlnato and Intractable. caMes. It'clinnlritl nUenufNt-reraons engaged In jpaluU and Alluerals, such as numbers, TyK aettere, CI old-beaters, and 5 liners, as they odvaueo lu life, are subject to raralyMs of tho Uowels. To guard against this, take occa&ionul dosea of VlNEOAK IllTTEItS. SU hi IUeuieHt Scrofula, Bait IUietim. Ulcers, Rnelllugs, limp?, rubtules, Jiolls, Carbuncles, Itlng-worms, Scald-head, bore JCyes, Kr'sipelas, Itch, Hcurfs, Ulscoloratlons, Humors and diheoses of thoBUu, of whatever name or nature, are liter ally dug up and carried out of the bysUw lu a short time by the iiw) of the Hitters. I'liif '!' pound other Worms, lurking In the system of so many thousands, ore effectually destroyed oud removed. No s stent of medicine, no vermifuge!, no anthelmintic), will free the eyntem frpm worms lJkn mrxui ilrrrtitti. MeuHlcK, Nrurlet Feert Mumps, Whooping Cough, and alt children's dlnwuca may he made ltvsbevere by keeping the bowels opeu with mild doses of thu Hitters. This wonderful remedy U esptIolly HdapU-! to the BytU-ms of children, for purifying hirU alone give it its re markuhle cura tive iowers. It contains no alcohol, opium or other itoison. Fur I'einulo Coiiiplulnti, In young or old, married or single, at the dawn of womanhood, or the turn of life, this Hitters has no eiual. C'leaiiHe the VltltUeit llluuil when ltstm- Eurities bunt through tho sklu lu Eruptions or ores; cleanse it whtn obstructed and slugglah lu the velnst cleanse It when it is foul; your feelings w 111 tell you when, and the health of the sysUm will follow In ronrliikloii fllro tho Hitters a trial. It will sixtc for itself, Odb lKittle Is a WlWt cuar. antev of Its merits than u U uKlhy odvrrtlsuuient. A r ii li il c u c Ii b o t tie ore f uU mi wlioiis prutcd la dlffereut lau)tuuKes. II. II. ITIflluiiuld Drilir Co., rroprletors, aa f lUideoo, fit . u 1 ex U k un Wsshliwton Bt, (!or. chsr.tou Ht., htw 1 urk. Sold by u!I Healers una Jtrugglsts, "" nTfl rmrm To Inti-odm'. them AJ31U Ui.'1'iJrU we will Klve away looj Oiliirn; acnlnod. ( ou want ouo send is your name, I'. O. and rxjirersof. flee at onco. TUB NATIONAL en.. L'l Vvy hU.K.X. Oct. 30-lw U STONE IN KIDNEY. KXPKl.tKn AVTEIt UPtNOnit. DAVID KENNE DY'S 'FAVOIIITK HKMKDY" A110UT TWO WKI5K8, Ono ot the racwtrematkablo caws that lias over been brotignt (0 tho notion ot the imbllc la Uut Of Mr. 1. 8. Pencil, ot stono HWgo, vlnter county, N. Y. Mr. Ucacli had suffered slnco Oct. 18, 1871, from tho presence ot calculus or stono In tho right kid ney. No lesj than seven physicians wero em ployed at different lime, to whom 5lr. Iloacli paid hunercds of dollars for medical treatment, with only temporary roMef from lits agony. llylho urgent solicitations of hU frl"nu ho wai Induced to try Dr. DaMd Kennedy's "l'avorlto ltcmcdy," and experienced a marked Impimcment from tho llrst clay ho began toiiso the medlctno. on tho 16th of neptetntier ho voided i stono a Inrgo ns eould bo passed through tho natural channel. Mr. lleach conclude n long letter to Dr. Denneily by saying! "It will always nfford mo pleaeuro to recommend the 'lMvomc ltemedy to those who mar bo suffering from difficulties ot tho klilneys and bladder, or nny disorders arising from nn Ira pi.ro state ot tho b oud. WILLIAM MCKNKW, IDI VAYIiTTK 8T IlAl.TI. Mt)ltH.MI)..R.iys: "I believe 'l'avorlto Itemed' Is a good medicine. It It doing momorogood than anything I ever tried, nnd I liao tried almoat cv rr) thing, for I am a sufferer from dyspepsia." While "Katorlto Komody" Ii a specUIC In stomach and bladderdlseawi, It Uenually valuablo in eases ot bullous disorders, constipation ot tho bowels and nil tho class of ills apparently Inseperablo from the constitutions of women. Price, tl; bit bottles, J3. . AU MASK mm wm wm, TUB fJRKAT hi Purifier oi tho World. an Aiistn.VTi: rnti: foit CATARRH. rlllll! irU MuM'om ries Icld readily to It j and l.jiuiut failed to t uinu rlmrle case JL where directions nro followed, It?succcss hns been romaiknliloand Itseuresuomlcr ful. It H the imistPitpee&i-fiil jiropn ration In tho imtikttror OATAKItll nnd the only one that IiruinUcs an AbHolute, I'ohI tt t Cure, It ts riity a btuilng to m.inklnd, A Trial l all that in uUtl for II. Onco used, It Is always reeoiumcudcd, Su:id for tcstlmuulals of actual cures. IT HAH NO Kyi' At. FOU MALARIA. A POSITIVE CVRH S ASSVRHD. Ono bottle Is generally puinclcnt for a euro. Stop taking (i tun I lie. A trlnl only H nkcd forKRL li:iih Oatauuii KuMKur. It Is n sl'KCIl'lO for ull dicuc:arulig from nil linpuroblood and drives all cmptions lrom thu rkln. For Hyphl lltlc complaints It Is superior to any prepnrutiou In the imtikct. One buttle will cure most of the following complaints nnd a continued use will voalTtvLLY cure. S ive doctor bills and try It. KIIKITMATISM. SCROFULA. SKIN KKfJl'TIONS. VKiVKKKAL DISEASES. DYSPEPSIA. LOSS OF APPETITE. FEELING OK LANUOUIl. IHLIOUSKESS. LIVER TUOUI1LES. KEHVOUS WEAKNESS. FEMALE WEAKNESS. Kr.irUfs tATAiti:ii ItKMi:nv Is no patent itUMllcliie, liut iv ciifo and plcasunt preparation to take and mrelytho great eft medical discov ery of the age. One bottle rejuvenates tho entire yule in and pojssea luoro virlue than a half di7o'.i bottles uf ordinary patent preparations. V rile Air tcitirnonials nnd other Information. -ttwM'or sule hv drugglstn generally. ml.no a jtoTTiji;, six hot . I.i:s I'Oi; S.-,.ot). On receipt of S.1.00 by manuraMurers, SMftr. l Kkllku Co., ' rl burg. P .six bottles mil ho sent express I ' i. T.1MB MAl.K An Old Soldier's EXPERIENCE. " Calvert, Texas, Jlay 3, 1SP2. " I wish to oxircs9 my ni'iircclatlon of tho valuable qualities of Ayer's Cherry Pectoral as a cough remedy. "Whilo with Churchill's army, Just leforo tho tuttlo of Vlckshurg, I eoutracted a &o vevo cold, which terminated In a daiigcruus courIi. 1 found no relief till on our match wo camo to a country store, w here, on aiMin; for somo remedy, 1 uus urged to tryAEU's Ciir.iiitv l'i:riuiiAl.. "1 did to, and was rapidly cured. Siuco then 1 h:no Kept thul'rxKiitAI. constantly by ine, for family use, and I lmo found it to bo an invaluable, reuudy for tlnont ami lime discatcii, J. V. WiiitlUV." Thousands of testimonials certify to tho prompt euro of all liranrlilul nnd Inns ntlVitlons, by tho us of AYi:tt"s Cui:i:itY 1'r.CTOUAt. Ilelnu trr iul.il.iblc, thoyuiiiij cat chilJruu tako it ic.;diiy. I'KLi'.MtL'i) ny Dr.J.C.Aycr&Co.jLowotMnss. Sold by all DrufRlsU. SUPEFilOR SPECTACLES AND EYE-GLASSES MICROSCOPES. TELESCOPES. EIELD.OLHSSES, MAGIC LANTERHS, BAROMETERS. THERMOMETERS. Drawing Iimlrtunentii. l'l;lloi,oililruI und t'licuileul AMmrulitN. Lilt and Duscrintinn, of tur Tn Catalogue lant I'ltHK on ftppliatiL'U. QUEEN & CO. 924 Chestnut St, PHILADELPHIA. fel)0-ly Tlio fanner', In tlielr sivainp.-t, n ero sure, could hud tho roouuiiil piaulH that euro, II hy their kniwlil'e thoy only knew I-'or Just thoillseuw each unoi;rowi Willi loving euro (lod placed themtheiv, '1'iiko con rano then, iiimIMWAMI' Hour try, An on this ureal remedy ull can rely. Atk your drugirUl for Dr. Kilmer's SW.Wir HOOT KIDNKV, LI Villi AND llLADDKIt CHUtB. I'rleoMo, una f I. V Vol It heart lluttcin-or you uro Irritable oi dcupondent, or uieuiory easily confused, or hubjoct toilaslu-8, ordail; ap'JU aiiectliitf bl.'iu -lir. Kll mer'a (K'KAN.M KHIl U what ou need, Ak your drutfiflstforlt, (1. CAI.AUV Oil COllISHION. w A "KfTITr'n Iiuinllmrl a len uod IX H J.J1IJU men to canvamfor thoa-ilo or I'lull 'lieiti, llraHi Vliien, itvses, o, I'revloui extiei lenefl not casenllal. II. FltukiUN id., lirUhtou, N. y, octdO-d 4t Intelllsent H)I.IC'lTOIta WANTKI) for GEN. GRUNT'S IIIIIIK 1118 OWN ACCOUST ol tho (treated military btruKglo ot modern tluuin. uio.ko already or. den ill Kuiycivs of agentu U mart t loin. Aildreiu, limillAlIU IIIIUM., I'ub'B, Ti) t'ucetuut XI., i'lilla, 1'a. tctlO(L4t. jnKitMenco His Hftmo Was Tom. A etrangcr who entered a saloon near tho ferry dock tho other day to mako somo inquiry found seven or eight old lako Captains sitting around tho stovo and ohowlng away on cheap plug tobacco. Tho newcomer had not yet opened tils mouth when an old grnyheaded Captain gavo a start of surprise iiid cxelalincd: "Well, may I bo drowned 1 Why why, has tho dead returned to Hfot Can it bo that I see you onco tnorol" Ho pprang up nnd mslied over nnd seized tho stranger's liutul, and whilo ho shook it up ami doivu nnd 8'idownyH nud atfioven different angles ho con tinued: "Ah, Tom, T thank heaven for this I When I saw you go overboard off Sturgeon Point I looked upon you as a goner. Gents, this is my old mate on tho Hohooner l'lrfvur. Ho wants to know what you'll take." Tho orowd walked up to tho bar. Tlio Btrangor Beeinad dazed and dc tnoi'nli.ed. Ilia name wasn't Tom, and hn had never sailed, but ho didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. He, therefore, paid for tho drinks. This had scarcely been accomplished when nnnther Captain rushed nt him with: "Oh, I remember yon now I Ex cuse 1110, Tom, old boy, but I'm grow ing old. Yec, it all comes back to me, now. Don't you remember llio night I rnved your life in Saginaw llayt That was a closu call for you, old boy, but I pulled you through. Drink with you t Why, of couisol What will you take, nontst" Each gent mentioned his little pie fereiice, aud tho dazed and embarrassed stranger ngaiu footid thu bill. "Tom of the Plover, eh t" cpiciied a third Captain ns ho wiped oil his chin. "Let's see, but oil are tho very chap I took off thu wreck in Lako Eiiet Why, of course, you are, and I'd al most forgotten tho circumstance. Tom, me boy, shake ! I was never so glad to sco a man 1 If you say drink with you, my why " lint Tom kicked over a chair, sent n big spittoonu lining after it and rushed out doors, crying: "I'll bo hanged if you play that gatno on 1110 again 1" Detroit Free Press. How Ho went Nutting. Young Augustus do Jones nnd Miss Clara Brussels nevr speak any nioro as they pass by. A few weeks ago the world looked bright to tho young cou ple. Augustus loved Clara and Clara loved Augustus. Tho young man ad mired the old man Brussels, respected old Mrs. Brussels, nud was on intimate terms with tho house dng, A few days ago tho young man received an invita tion to no with the family on a nuttiiiL' expedition, which ho promptly neccpt- eu. 1 lie roomy niii lamily ctrriago was comfortably filled, with Mr. ami Mrs. Brussels on the front scat and Augustus and his darling on tho back one. Tho day was a delicious one, with tho warm, mellow glow of tho In dian bummer air bringing a delicious languor to the soul. Arriving on llui ground, they soon found thero were plenty of nuts, but how to get them was the quistion. Clubs wore pro cured, however, and the work of pelt ing thu nuts from tho trees commenced. Tlio first nttempt of young Augustus was a success. Ho drew back to throw and took Mrs. Brussels under tlio chin with such force as to draw an agoniz ing shriek from tho old lady. Finally ull tho clubs were lodged in the trees, nnd it was decided that it was neces sary to climb tho monarchs of the for ost if any mils wero procured. Of course, this meant work lor Augustus. Ho avowed a willingness to try, and was so bcwildi red by a thankful glance from Clara's bluo eyes that ho prompt ly commenced tho ascent of n black oak tiudir the impression that it was .1 hickory. "That young man will do somo mis thief yet," said old Mrs. Brussels, who was still indignant. Anil then Augustus attempted tho explanation that ho had intended climb ing the oak and then jumping over from thero on the hickory, which, as the limbs wero about forty feel apart, would havo been a very heroic feat in deed. Tho young man finally sue ceeded in reaching 0110 of tho branches of a hickory and dislodging a few consumptive-looking nuts, one of which took Clara on thn top of hnr angelio nose, just as sho looked up to sco Au gustus, retiring hor in short order. Tho old man lay down on tho grass aud roared, when, just as ho turned over, 0110 of thu heaviest clubs thalhad lodged in tho branches took him across tho mouth, knocking out two of his tot th and changing his laugh to a roar of anguish. "I know ho would do somo mis chief," shiicked thu old woman, rush ing to tho relief of her husband and gazing reproachfully up in tho treo just in timo to rcceivo a big hickory nut in the eye. "Clara," shouted tlio old man, "lead up the hnrso and lei us go homo nud leave that infiTinl young fool up in thu tree." Clara, with n heart swelling with in dignation toward her lover, did ns eha was bid, when, just as tho old horso came tindcr the tree, poor Augustus, who knew nothing of tho dainago he was doing, rained down a perfect ava lancho of clubs nnd hickory nuts and started tno oni norse on the run, "Got all von want down tlmro V cheerfully shouted young Augustus lrom tlio upper liranuhes. "Como down you confounded idiot, and seel" shouted old man Brussels, with n gleam of war in his eye. "What's tli i tnalterl" asked tho bo wildcred young man, as ho teacliPtl llio ground. Old man Brussels started toward him, but was held by tho wo men folks, who briefly at.d sternly ex plained tho situation to him in such n vay as to let him know that all was at end. "Mr. Do .Tones," said Clara, as ho turned away to hunt his coal (mid ah, how cold lliu words sounded after be ing so lately called "detr Augustus 1") "you aro about to lose your handker ohief." But poor Augustus well knew that his handkerchief was in his cont pock et, and Clara would have known bet ter had not her eyes been swollen with pain Clain iiow has young Smith for fcteady company, The new gall.inl laugliod heartily uhen told of De Jones' misfortunes, 'Ho doesn't nn del stand nulling, Clara," said ho 1 "I will goto tho woo Is tomionow and hi ing you all you want." lie accom plished the feat by hiring a buggy and buying a bnshol for a dollar of a farm er's boy, Chlmyo Tribune. After a thr.rough test J II. Mercer moU positively nsseits that Acker's Kngl'wh Remedy is tho best medicine for Athma, Croup, Coughs, Whoop, ing Cough, and all Lung Troubles that catt bo found. Ask him about it, for ho I ill I y guarantees It, J HE GREAT hi IQG von LIVER DISEASE. C VIUT DTfiTJTC! . Hitter or bad taste In mouth j k3 X luJT 1 UiflO tongiio coated while or cov with n brown fur; nam Initio back, nicies. or lolnta often tnbtaken for rheumatism; fotm ktoiiacii; ic8 Or ArrFTiTn; sometimes nausea nmi water brazil, or Indigestion. ilattilency one! acid eructa tions, bowels alternately costho and lax; hkaii. achb! loss of memory, with a ralnriil sensation of having; failed to do so 1 ethlnir which 11 1 u lit to have been clone, iikbiutvi lo.v nplrttHiathlcie, ykixow appeal anco ot tho 1.M11 and eyes: 0 dry coujfh; fever, restlessness the Illinois soanly and hhth colored, and, It allowed to stand, deposit, a, sedi ment. IiYI (ritltKt.Y VntlKTAIlLK) Is generally used In tho South to nrouso tho torpid ller to n healthy action. IT ACTS WITH KXTIUOItDIN'AIIY tOFICACY ON TIIK L1VKK, KIDNEYS asp BOWELS. Art KKFIXJTUAI. HWXIKIO I'OH MALARIA, DVSI'KrStA, CONSTIPATION, IllttOl'SMICsg, SICK llRAtlACIIIC, JAfNDICK, MAI SKA, COLIC, MKNTAI. tlU'BBfSlOK. IIOWRt.COM PLAINTS, KTO.. KTCJ. , KTC. Kndorsed by tho uso ot 7 millions of bottles as The Best Family Medicine Tor children, for adults and for tho used, sim to like is im 10x1111101 air Tin Msnx I J. H. ZE1LIN & CO., soi.mnoi'KiETOics, I'lllt.AlilXrillA, l'A, rnicR, ii.iu. tnayiKMy A PRESENT! Our readei-s for is cents In nostocc stuimis to pay for nulllns and wrapping nud 11an.es of iwu uwk aKeni.s w 111 recuv., fici.i-jn wceei Finish l'annr KncriaMmr of nil our I'llKSI I inCN'Ifi, I eluding Cleveland, bl.o 'ti.vjs Inch, worthf l.oo. Address Eider Pub. Co..Ohicago, III. July lMy RAILROAD TirVIH TABLE. jy:r,A.WAKE, lackawanna and WGSl'KUN ItAlLUOAl). HLOOMS11UHG DIVISION. NOltTII. m. p.m. 00 13 3 I' 54 12 '.' 4S IS 2S 40 li 15 :li VI US 27 12 0,1 22 II BS It 11 51 12 11 50 OS 11 47 08 II it 0.1 11 42 5'J 11 :is 51 11 .11 50 11 30 41 11 2.1 50 11 12 IS 11 10 11 10 51 a-. 10 4r 58 10 41 51 10 38 50 10 .11 4 2 1C 27 31! 10 21 80 10 10 21 11) 11 05 II 511 (10 II 4!l 55 0 45 I HTATIOt.S. I SOUTH. u.m. a.m. p.m. . is 10 9 15 2 0.1 . 11 15 l) 20 2 10 a.m 8 30 S 20, S 22 8 101 S 10 S 01 ....: ronton. ., llellevuo.., 'I'nyiorvllto. .. Lackawanna., 0 27 M 2 2! 0 2U 1) 20 2 1!) l'lttston.. a 31 9 41 2 30 (I 40 9 47 2 SO ..West l'lttston. 7 58, 7 51 .wyoiniue;.... ..Mnllby II 4i 9 52 2 41 0 I'J 9 !'! 2 41 0 51 10 02 47 r. 5S 10 1 5 2 50 0 5S 10 05 i 50 7 02 10 102 55 7 07 10 153 01 7 12 10 20 3 03 7 15 10 253 10 7 SI 10 S2 3 27 7 37 10 41 3 89 7 50 11 11 3 51 7 57 II 013 58 S 01 11 114 05 8 10 11 20 4 12 8 14 11 2J 4 10 S 18 11 29 I 21 8 25 11 3il4 27 8 30 11 44 4 31 8 3a II 504 10 7 50 7 4 J 7 4i 7 38 1 31 7 3) 7 2) Ilcnnctt ....Kingston .... 1 ....Kingston .... Plymouth June ....Plymouth.... .... Avomliile. . ....Nanllcoko... lliiulock'a Creek ..shlckshlnny.. ..Hick's Kcrry.. 7 1 T U0 G 51 6 47 II 41 ..iieacniiavcn.. llerwlck .... .llrlar Creek... li 31 11 31! S 2! C 21 .Willow drove.. ..Lliueltldgo... ftspy ...Illoomsburg... .... Huner t II 10 0 11 5 50 Catawl'n lirldgo 8 41 11 M 1 40 . . Danville.... 8 A3 12 135 Ol 5 it 5 4.11 5 32 a.m. j ....Chulasky.... !i or, 12 2 a 13 .... camei on 1 0 (H 12 2-.i ir 40 II 3 in. a.m. Northumberland, a 25 12 105 . Ia.in. a.in. p.m. V. 1. IIALSI'EAI), Supt. Superintendent's onieo, Sjranton, l'eb.tst.13 Pennsylvania Railroad. INI Philadelphia & Erio R. R. Divis ion, and Northern Central Railway. INI TIME TABLE. In cHct Aug. :10th, 1885. '1'ralns leavo bun bury. KASTWAltD, 9.40 a.m., Sea Shore Uxpress (dally except Sunday), for Ilarrlsbuit; and tnleriucdlutebtatioiis, arriving at Philadelphia 3.15 p. 111.; New lurk 0.20 p.m.; Iialllmoiv, 4.40 p. m. ; Waihlngiou, 6.50 p. in., connecting nt Philadelphia for ull Sea shore points. Through passenger coach to Philadelphia. 1.4J u. m.l)av exnrtss dally cxcoSundan.furllanUuurBaud luienue- uiato stations, arriving at l 11 1 1 a u o 1 p h 1 a C50 p. m. ; New York, 9.35 p. 111. ; Uatllinort 0.45 p. m. ; Washington, 8.00 p. m. Parlor oar thro'igh to Philadelphia and paaacnger coaches through to Philadelphia and lialtl i.ore. 8,05 p. in. v Ullamsporl Acco.mnodatlon (dally, for Uarrlsburg nnd all Intermediate stations, arrlv ing at Philadelphia 4 25 a. 111. ; New York 7.U0 a. 111 Iialtlinore. 5.25'j. in. : Washlnston 0.10 a. in.: Kleeplng car ueeoininodat ions can bo secured at llariisburgforl'hlladelplilaaiid.New' York. Oiisuri. days athrougli hluepiugcir will bo iuu; on this train trom Wllltamsp'ttophllailelphla.Phlladclphla jiasscngera can remain in sleeper undisturbed until 2.35'a. m. Ei lo Mall (dallv cxeent Monday.! for llarrlsburg an.l Intermediate stations, arriving nt Philadelphia 8.25 a. m. New York, 11.30 a. in. ; lialtlmoi-u 8.15 a. in. ; Washington, 9.25 a. m. 'inrougu runniau sleeping carsuie run on this train to phlladclnhla. llaltlmoru and WosIiIiil'- ton, and through passenger coaches to l'hlladel. puiu uuu iaiiuiiuiv. wusrwAitu. 5.20a. m. Eilo Mall (dally except Sunday), foi Erie, and ull Intermediate stations und C'uuandal gua and intermediate stutlons, uochester, liuaa Tound Niagara Falls, with thiough Pullman Pal ace cars und passenger coaches 10 Erie and ltoch cstcr. y.M-News Express (dally except Sunday) for Lock Haven and Intermediate btutlons. 1.05 p. in. Niagara Express (dally except Sun day) lor Kane and Intermediate stations and c'an undalgua and principal Inlermedlato stations, ltochestcr, liufralo and Niagara Falls with through passenger coaches to Kane aud ltochestcr and Parlor ear to WulMus. 5.30 p. m. Fast I.lnu (dally except SunJayjror lte novo and intermediate stations, and Ktinlra, Wat klns and Intcnnedtalo stuilous, with through pas senger coaches to iteiiot o and Walktns. 9.20 a. m.-buuday mall lor ltenoio and lnterrae dlatc stations. THItOUaU THA1NS FOIt SUNllUltY FltOM TUB EAb'P AND SOUTH. Sunday mall leaves Philadelphia 4. SO a. m IlarrUburg i.40 .11 living at suubury 9.20 a. in. w tin through sleeplngcar Horn PulmUelpbU 10 Ull tlamspoit. News Impress leaves Philadelphia 4.30 a.m. Ilarrlsburg, 8.10 a. 111. dally except Sunday arriving ui Sunbury U.M. u. 111. Niagara Express leaves Philadelphia, 7.40 a. m. ; Baltimore. 7.30 a. in. (dally except hunday arriving ut sunbury, 1.05 p. 111., with through Parlor car from Philadelphia and through passenger coaches from Philadel phia and Baltimore. l'ast Lino leaves New York t.ui a. m. 1 l'hlladel. phla,u.50a. 111.; Washlugtou, u 50a. m. ; Haiti more, 10.15 a. m., (dully except Sunday) arriving at Nuubury, 5.30 p. 111., with through passengci coachebfrom Plilladelphlaand lialiimoro. Erie Mall leaves New York S.IA) p. m. ; l'hlladel nhla. 11.20 11. in. . Washington, lu.tu u. in. . D.lILI. more, 11.20 p. 111., (dally exeepl.Saturilay) arriving at Suubury 5.15 a. in., with through Pullman bleeping cars from Philadelphia, Washington and UalUuiuro and through passenger coaches Iron1 l'nlludelphla. HUMIIIItV. 1IAZI.KTON .V WII.KINllAIIltl! ItAIl.l(t)AI) ANII .MIUTII AND Wli.-4T ItltANllll HA I. WAV. (Daily exeeiit huuuay.) Wllkesbarro Mull leaves bunbury lO.OJa. ni. arriving at bloom Ferry 1U.W a. in., Wllkes barie 12.18 p. m. Express Has, leaves sunbury B.15 p. m., arriving at lIlcHim Fei ry C.37 p. m., Wllkes-barro 1.58 p. in Sunbury tlaUleutesW(lkesburnl0.4ua.in. uri IV lug at IthJom Ferry 13.18 p. m., Sunbury 1.1 U p. in Expicss West leaves likes bari'0 2.15 i. 111., ur rUIng at llliKim Ferrv 4.15 p. in., sunbury ft.lv p. in f.NDAY ONLY. Sunday mall leaves Suubury 9 25 ft. in., onlvlng at lllouin Ferry lu, 1 1 a. 111.. w IlLes-llarro 11:3'. a.m. bunday accommodation leates llkta liiirio s .iu p. ui., arriving at lllooui Ferry, 7:10 p. in., bunbury, 7:55 p. 111. OIIA. li PUdll, J, It. WOOD, tien. Manager, (len. Passenger Agent Alexander Bros. & Go.. orrer to tho Trado their Fine llrand of cigars. The Landres, Honry Clay, Norma, San-scn, and Cccmcpolitan Eino Emits niitl Fino Confeotionery on liaiul. V'resli every wo?k. lilooms burg, l'a. I el). 1!7 WAITED c$ SL$C EXPENSES PAID 1 Salesmen for tho Hooker Nurserlei tMabilshed 18-5. All tho newest and best sorts ot fruit and ornamental trees, vines, tc, II. U. HOOKKIt COMPANY, Itochester, N. V. Kept 115 sm "STtJCK;," Tlio superiority of our Cloth ing, in .style nnd finish, is suilic ient gimrnntee iigainst a culninity like the above. Our large stock of Suits and Overcoats for Moil, Youths, Boys ami Children will give permanent satisfaction. A.0.YATE3&C0. G02-GO-1-OOG CHESTNUT ST. l'HILADKLPIIIA. IJLOOaiSUUHG, PA. M anufacturors ot CARRIAGES BUGGIES, PHAETONS. SLEIGHS, PLATFORM WAGONS, &C. First-class work always on hand, REPAIRING NEA TLY DONE. Prices reduced to suit the times, ELY'S CatarrH Cream Balm when applied Into the nostrils, will bo ab sorbed effectually cleansing the head ot catarrhal virus, caus ing healthy secre tions. It allays Inllam nation, protects tho membrnne ot the na sal passages from ad ditional colds, com pletely heals tho sores and restores sense of taste and smell. SOT X Ilql'ID .OII SSI 11. Apply n particle ot ij4VCrurD tho llalm into each "IVBlV tfj nostril. A few applications relieve. A thorough treatment will cure. Agreeable to use. send for circular. Price 51 cents by mall or nt druggists. ELY WtorilKltS. druggists, Owego, S. Y. eI6f HING ! CLOTHING ! THE ARTIST AND MERCHANT TAILOR. Who always gives you tlio latest styles, and Juts your clothing to lit you. Having Intel tho experience lor a number ol years in tlio Tailoring Htisi ness, has learned what material will give his cusloiueis tlio best satisfaction for wear anil style rind will try to pU-nso all who give him a call. Also on hand Gents' Furnishing Goods OF ALL DESCKIITIONS. HATS, CAPS, AND UMBRELLAS Always uf tlio lutes' styles. Cull anil ex amine" his stock btlore rurclmsing else w'licri. Storo neKt door toFirsiKaUon&lIt&nk Corner Slain & Market Sts. n in) Kfl April S5-ty E. B. 3R0WER 1 OAS FITTING & ST HAM llKATJMJ. ur.m.i:i: in STOVES & JNWARE. All kinds of work in Sheet Iron, Roof ing and Spouting promptly attended to. restrict attention gU en to heating by steam. Corner of Main & East Sts., Bloomsburg, Pa. EXCHANGE HOTEL, W. R. TOBBS, PROPRIETOR BLOoMsnuao, fa. OPPOSITE COUItT UOUHK. Large and convenient s unple rooms, llath rooms not unu com waiur, anci uii modern conveniences TTUtEAS IIUOWN'S INSUItANOE I AflKNCV. Moyer'a new building, ilalu street, JUoomsbiirg, Pa. .Htna lusuranco Co., of Hartford, Conn ti,((rs,itiO Itoyal of Liverpool 1:!,. '.10,0110 Lanea-shliD , io,ui,oi t 1m Association, Phlladelpliia 4,lci',7io l'liuinlx, of London 5,;iji,3TB Loudon Lancashire, of Kngland l.ioo.wo Hartford or llaillonl a ers cwi sprlngrteld I'lro uud Mailnc i;,osi,580 As tho agencies nro direct, policies aro wilttcn for the Insured wllhout delay In the oniee at JJIuuiuauuiK. UCI, ijo, DJ. a iioubk, DliNTIST, XlLooMsnuitn, Coi.umiua Ooumty, 1'a II styles ot work done In a superior manner, work narruiucu as refrrseuieu ikbtu ttXTHAOT' d without IMix by the use of uas, and free of charge when artificial toeth are Inserted. Ofllco over Klelm's Drue Store. 'lobe open at aU hours during the 'ij. ii j $50 REWARD. to n Hvery Ounco of Adiiltciatlon IN'l'IIK my prouess soap. THE WONDERFUL 3-LB BAfi. A DK ONLY UV Gowuiis &. Stoycr, Iluffalr, N. Y. Fit salo by all fiiBt-claa g ooois. April 10-i.yr DlflOlllSIJlll' ECONOMY TIIK I'RACXICAIL IUESTIOjV Or THE HOUK. EVJORY THING THAT IS NEW AND STYLISH FOR THE SEASON, CAN BE UOlXillT CHI APE E fJBLAl TOM. KjasiSiaassatsBamtatantwTrwrnt A Large and Varied Stock of JUST RECEIVED. tranwQroiiinmsciBi'Hrreat ALSO A LAI'fin AN'f) SKMiCT LI IN" 12 OK Call 'and be Convinced that you have the OV THE LATEST STYLE, BEST QUALITY, AND AT The Lowest Possible Prices AT T SI E OF Fine Carriages, lluggles mill Waeons. vnrlud seU'ction of GgVEIIICLES FOR BUSINESS AND PLEASUIll) rom the best mnnufacloiies. l'lirolmsurs tiC-Write for Information and "rices. npr..y SMv, GMAIN C. B. MBMNS, DEALER IN Foreign anM MarnQsiic WINES AND LIQUORS, AND JOBBER IN CIGARS. BLOOMSBURG, PA. for Infanto and Children. lmt,O"'lt!'Nt0ctlljB!1,W I OMtorla cures Colle. ConstlpHIon. irccomtnen.iltaaBi!rrlartonuyi.nM.'rlnUoa I "our BtomocU, Ularrhaa, KriK-utlon. knowaUiine." U A. Anc-uun, l D I K11' Wortnii, fives klcc, aai jirumoUa ill JU tic, OilorJ Bt, liruokln, it. V. WllfSut'lnjurioua modlcatlon. Tuk CicdAcn Coutxhy, 1S3 rultoa Street, N.T. I je.it .BPTinif sin umm f . F. IBtUlf, 320 322 Pcnii Avenue, At this ltonosilon. mavlm RfTH n Inrrrn mill urc invited to cn.ll nnd Insnect the poods or to For llic Cvleliriilud Cliickcring, Ivcrs & I'onil, nnd Vote Si Stm I'imios. World ri' nowiiPcl Ksti-y Or..iis, Violins, Ac toicUona nnd Sheet Aliisic. Culelmili'iMVliiic, Ktw llltli Aim Dnvls, t'v lloine, lioynl St. John, nnd Light Kunnlng Doinestlu Scwinp; Mni'liines. Kt't'dles, oil nml nttucliinenls for nil mnkes of Sewing JlncliiiuF. STREET u mmmi EStcro andlwarcr.ee ms, No. 18 Franklin Avenue Mo Waierooiua 111 Franklin Ate. and liwrer.. lerBtrtct. SCR ANTON, PA. it Anylliiuf,' t niako up .mow wnj;on or rrjiMr nu old, in ftoik. I!ur Iron, ami Stt'tl lVilt", Holt KikIj, I.ny Soiowi-, 'lnriiliuckloH Uoiho Shut'H, nml nil 1 1 it k smith etijijilien. Aprsi-iy
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers