11)0 Goltiqbiai). COt.VMntA tlKMl)lBAT,IITAIlor TIM VOIlTlt, nllil C0I.CU WIN, Consolidated.) Ismtril Wrrhlsi vcty rrliliy .Unrnlim, nl llt.OOMKIltmo, t'OWMIlIA CO , tM., ATTWOPot.MnsprryMr. Tnstilrrrttrsout ot thf oonnty tlio terms arc strictly In nilt-nnee, ii lf.j!,nP,'l!,nilniil except nt. the option of J? 1 .'il'or,!,l,,ll,Pn nrrenrHKs ore mlil,liutitorir rom rrnllla will not Iwjridn. ''If All papers sentotitot the plnle or In ilMnntipoit omen mint bo raid for In nrlvnnee, unlest n rpspnil. ? I10 lfrf!,n '0 cnlwntila comity assume to pay th subscription duo on demand. 1 1 i .51 'V": ' 110 longer exacted from wibscrlljors In Hie county. JOB PHINTrao'. Tlie.TobljInof Department rf tho COt.uunUN U vcrv K'1i'; ''i,nl'Jl0.,l.,;''fl',1'rll'Jl,l'f H1 roiiiptm- favora i,i1L,l.l.,.f,iatnf I mrrt eitloH. All work doneon short notice, neatly nndnt moderate prices. ntoFnssioNAi. cards. A l I. II tlopti'-ynt-1 ,nv !" -.frond inoi imio hi ntlonal Hank Ml.iMlMSlll'llll I'A. II. FUNIC .i t(U rioynt"I.nv, HLooMsuiJiiu, rx. ii" m. Rut's ItUll.mNJ t II ,j W J. BUCK A LEW, rTOUNKMT-I.A vv, liIoumtiue,Pft. ' """"on Malt' street, erst door below CourtllouM J ' I N I 'LAKt?i ATT0HNKY.AT.LAW, lilooinsbur;r,r. it! - vr sch lyiti's Hardware store. W MtLT.FU, ATTOHN'KY.Vr.LAW. O'Kin li'iwor'plmlHInt'.'fwnil door, room 'o,i tllO'imMmrg, l'a. FRANK ZAUN. Attoi'noy-nt-7-.aw BLOOMSHUHO, I'A J. Ofllco comer of Centra and Main Streets, dark's nulldlng. (!nn be consulted in Gpimnn. -i KO. K. HI.WKLt, A TTOHN K Y-A T-l. A W, NewCowvcsian nni.Mvn, ttloor.isbnrg, Pa, Merrber of the Untied State Law Association, Oollecilons made In any part of America orKuropo KNilKll. ! S. WIVTKKSTKEtf. Notary Public KNOUK k WIXTERSTEEN, A t tornoyy-nt-Lnw. omce In llartmaii's lllock, Corner Main nnd Mar ket street?, Hloomsburg, Pa. C"Vio)iv and liountie.t Collected, ( p.VUI. Jl. WIRT, Auornoy-at-Law. Ofllco la Drowcr'3 lllock. one door below Brockwny Building ULOOMSnUHO, I'A. G UY JACOI'.Y, Attot'n(jy-atl,.'iv, fa SLOOMStiUIK), OfllcolnH.J. CHkr'ilniinlni.'. second tlojr, first door to tlio left. Oct. s, 'so. T H. MAI'E, ATTORN EY-AT-LAW AND JUSTICE OF THE I'EAGE. OnicolnMrs. Enl's Building, third door from Main street. May 20, 'SI. , i joiin c. yooum, Attoi'iioy-at-Lawt llLODYlSIlUItG, I'A. Ofllco with lion. c. It. uuckalew. Member of tin American Attorneys' Association. Collections made In any ptrt of Anvirtcx. Jan. s, Ui'2. K. OSWALD, ' Atcoinoyat-Lnwi Jackson Iluilding, ll'ioms 4 and G, Mayii, !. BUUWICK.FA. TVpt. L. KYERLY, ATTO II N EY-AT-LAW, Catawliaa.ra. Collections promptly made and remitted. OfJlca tiposlto CatawHs? Deposit lsauk. m-33 " A T T () It N' E Y-A T-T, A W , Catawlssa, Pa. onice, corner ot Tnlrd and Malnbtn'ete. A. Ii. VHVY7.. Alinrncy-aM.nw. OITice , In llrockwny'3 Uulldlng, June 24, W 7 I'.UCKIKGIIAM, Vtlorney-nt-Lnw; Of 1 V . flco, Ilrock ay's UuUdlnf? 1st door, lilooms burt', renn'a. may 7, 'co-t f CU. BAKKLEY, Attoim'y-vt.l.aw, Oflics , in llrowet'a building, 2nd hiory, ltooiuf 4 4 5 B. KOIUSON, Attorni'v-at-Law OFcc , In IlTtmaii'.i building, Valnstrcet. D 1. "SY.M. M. 1JEI1EH. Snrceon ami I'liv- slclan. onlce corner of liocl: and Market st, K. EVANS, M. D SiirRttn anil Phyai , clau, (Ofllce and Itesldcnce on Third sticet T . McKELVY, M. I) . Saruron and I'liy V , alcHn, north sldo Main circet, below Market. 0 Ii. J. G. Kl'TTEH, 1'IIYSICIAN Sht'HOKftN, hi e. North .V irlnt street, Oct. 1, "T9. niooiosbure, l'a. f it. r. u n n, PRA-TIOVL HE.VTISi. Main btret, opposite KpUcop.il Church, llloomi bun:, ra. Xf Teeth oxtracte 1 without pain. OCt. 1 1SI9, BLOOMSBURGCOL. CO. PA. All style3 of work dono In a mprrlor manner, work warranted in represented. Tkktu Extkict kd without I'ain by the use of f)as, and free of chargo lien nrtinclal teeth are Inserted. , Ofllco error Utorniturir 1'otkltcCcmpaiiy. 7o be over, at all hours durinn the dau, Nov.ss-ly J MISCELLANEOUS p M. DRINKEIt, QUN and LOCKSMITH sewing Machines and Machinery of all kinds re. alrud. Uni llocss liuildln;, llloombburg, l'a. I) AVID LOWENUEKG, Merchant Tailor Main Bt., above Central liotcl. I K. KUHN. dealer h. MeMt. Tallow, etc.. Centre street, betwocn second and Third. JAMES UEILLY, Tonsorial Artist, s ou'aln at his old stand under EXCHANGE 110 T'KC, and has at usual a KlUS'rci,ASS iiahueh SIIOI'. He respectfully solicits the patronage of his oldeustomem and of tlio public generally. Hiym, 'so-tf " EXCHANGE HOTEL, W. R. TUBBS, PROPRIETOR BL00MSBURO. PA. OITOUITE COUHT HOUSE. Large and convenient samplo rooms. Bathrocms hit aud cold wuter,aud all modern convcnter.cvs F mi: INBUKANCE. CllllISTIAM V, KNA1T, HLOOMSUUItO, VA, 1IHITI8I1 AMEUIOA A'SSUHASCE COMPANY. Ol'.HMAN VIHKINHUItAM'E COMPANY. NATIONAL 1'IIIE INSUltANOB COMPANY, UNION 1NSUHANCE COMPANY. 'iheko old coHroHATiOKH are well seasoned by im and K1KK1K3TUD and havo never yet had a loss set tled by any court of law, Tholr r sets are all Invest ed In boiid suTHinnfand arc liable to the hazard of (ikk only, Lossoa rouni.T and uoKksTir adjusted andl paid 03 soon as detcrmlued by Cuiiitun f. knai-i', srxc- UI. AOIM 1KB At'JrbTKKlll.OOaaU'MJ, I'A, 'i bo people of Columbia o aunty should pattonUo the agency where losses It any aro settled and paid by one of their o n cltlions, UtOMI-lJiBS, KO.U1TY if A 111 OKAL1NQ' VOt, II, 'i C. AM OHWJJ J. K. BITTSM-JSUDSn, f r"P"0"' i?ALL AND WINTER OLOTHING -)0(- t Ai J. EVANS, Tha uptown Clothier, has just received a fine line otNcwOoodJ, and Is prepared tomakotip FALL-ANP WINTER SUITS For Men and lioys In the neatest manner aud Latest styles. t GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS, Huts, Gaps. &o- Always on hand. rallnhdKxomlno. KVANS'llLOCK Corner Main and Iron streets, Diooivxsnun.0, fa. PLUMBING GAS PITTING, STOVES and TINWARE. n!0: E. b'bEOWER Has purchased thoSto-knr.d ll'istncssof I. Hagen buch, and Is now pupated to do all kinds of wot k In bis line. Plumbing ntd (las Httlng aspeclalty. Tinware, stoves, In agicat variety. All work dono by EXPERtENCED HANDS, Main Street corner of Hast. iti.ooriisur'icc, M. N. S. TINGLEY. Announces to the public that l.c Is prepared to do all kinds of Custom Tailoring, promptly and at reasonable prices. Now is the sea son tor a NEW WINTER SUIT And TInglcj 's tho placo to get a proper fit. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Shop over r.lllmeyer's flroccry, Corner of Main and Centre Streets, BLOOMSIiUHG, I'A. lM. C. SLOAN & BR0 ,BLOt MS11UUQ, PA. M intifaclurcrsof Carrie:, llasgles,Phaetenf Sleighs, Platferm iVarcns, lit. Flist-clas3 weilc nlwajs en hand. JlhTAJllJSG yiiATLY DUXI!. Prices reduced to'suil thllmct. HIDES. Tho Highest Market Prico in Cash PAID FOR ALT. KINDS OF HIDES AT Leather mill Shoe I'lnilln? Store Main Stkeet, Oppositk Stone CnurtcH, BLOOMSBURG, PA. April 8, '60-1y AND Paper Hanging. WM. F. BODINE, HON ST., 1IELOW SECOND, iaoOJ'Hil 10, P Is prepared to do all kinds of HOUSE FAXWE-mG Plain and OrnamentAl PAPER HANGING, BOTH DECORATIVE AND PLAIN. .4.11 IiliKlN ol FiiriiHin o Hcpnlrod. and mtitlr as gootl as new NONE DOT FIRST-CLASS WO UK. M K.N Ml'LOYEO Ustlin.ntoa IV2adc on all Work, WM. F. lioniNE. BLQ0WR& PLANING MILL The nndertkned havlug put his Planing Mill on Rjtlroad street, In nrst-eiass condition, Is prepared to do all kinds of w ork lu his line. FRAMES, SASH, DOORS, BLINDS MOULDINGS, FLOORING, Etc. furMsbed at icasonaUe prion1. All lumtir used Is well M-asoncd and none but tktlled workmen are emplojid. ESTIMATES FOR BUILDINGS furnished on application. I'lann and fpeclflcalionf prepared by an exptrlenced draughtsman. C'l!AItU:s UIU'O, IMnuint.litiig', la. TltEAS IHIOWN'S INSUIIANCE AGEN I CY. Moycr'd wi building, Main street, Blooms burg, Pa. Assets. .lUna Insurance Co., of Ilartfoid, Conn. IT,o;s,2J4 ltoyal or LUerpool m.sui.ouu Lancashire 10,010,000 Flrn Association. Philadelphia 4.103,117 Pluunlx, of London r.,'ir.r..3T'2 London & I.anea&hlre, of England i,;oo,ii;6 llarlforl of Hartford !1,2J3,(kki sprlnglleld Flro and Marino n,usa,W5 As iho n?encles nro direct, policies aro written for tho tmured without any delay In tho omc at liloomsburg. Oct, as, 'ol-tf. B, F. HAnTMAN I'.Fl'KESKl.'TS Tilt rOII.GWlNd AME1HOAN INSL'ItANCE COMPANIES Lycoming of Muncy I'ennsjlvanla. North American of Philadelphia, Pa. Franklin of " I'ennsjlvanla of " " Farmers of York, 1'n. Hanover of New York. Manhattan of New York". Ollleo on Market Street, No, 0, Blocmsburg oct. 21, T'j.iy Be F"."SHA"BPLESSi FOUNDER AND MAOHINIST, ii4Ar.L.& b. nsroT, blool'seuro, mnvA. Manufacturer of Plows, stoves and all kinds of Castings. Largo ttoclr of 'lluuure. Cook Motes, Room Moves, Moves for belting nore.i.U'hool hous en. churches. .Ve. Also, large neck r repairs for city htovc'H of all klndb, whousjlu and iclall.sudi as Flro llrlck, (Hates, I.las, cenfes, Ac, stovo l'lfe, Cook Hollers, Spiders, t'uku I'liles, iJtrge Iron Ket tles, Med Si les, Wngcn Boxes, nil kinds of Plow Points, Mould Boards, Bolts, plaster, Salt, jlOXJi MAM'IU:, A-c. f Cb 3 t-8 ALABASTINE! FUI! nSlplllNtl WALLS AND CKILINCl!), Is tho most durablo and economical material known, It Is i valuabls dlscovery.and Is rapldlv superseding KaUomlno and other wall tlnlsh. Manufactured In u variety of beuutltul tlnts.audcan bd applied by any 0110. If not for bale In jour jielghnoruood, Eend to SEKLEY Bltos.. in Federal St., Boiton, Mass.. for samplo card aud testimonials, march 10 .v r G? 1 A A A Month for $1UUteaciiers, p.en, ladles and AgenU,taklng order for Utters to COL. INGERSOLL, aV.W row tho meal, popular vuw hook In tho Hold. Both a shield aud a Sword. Kverj body wants It. law Price, oulck Sales. Send fort'licuUraud rerms. P. W. ZIKIILKU S CO., 013 AKh St., Phlla, l'a, Marcua-vm RHEHMATSSM, Houralgla, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backacha, Soreness of tho Chest, Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swell'ngs and Sprains, Burns and Scalds, General Bodily Pains, Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted Feet and Ears, and all other Pains and Aches. No Preparation on earth equals Ft. jAmm Oil m a 4ff'f,ftMrr,i;)MHnd 7im External Heuicdr. A trial emails bill tho conipnratluly tllllliur outlay of .ni 'i'iiti, and every ine mllerlmj wllh ido can have cheap and pmltlvc proof of lis claims. Directions lu Eleven languages. SOLD BY. ALL DROQOISTS AND DEALERS IN MEDICINE. A.VOGELER & CO., Jfnfffmiirr, M,t V. S. A. A colli or otv tittotu tuny not seem to nmount to much, and If prvmiptly a tended t can valy In? cun-d; but nert U orton follnwod bv oiiiiunplloii or (Uplithrrln. Noinnlliitii has ever Ucn dl&cot n f which nets m t j u it 11 v und Kiut-ly tn such aibcs :is IMCltICi I) is' IA1. Ml AAA I. 'I he pminiit tl' .t this invaluable icmefy haa bavcff thousands or lives. ii:it:n davis' paix ici M.Kit ut nn i rluinit. It lias Ikcu lxtoro tho pubic fir forty 1 aw, and Is tuo&t alued h ro It U ijfst known. A lew 1 tr i th r -ni uluntary U-blluioulals read o w .i. I'ainKu 1.11 ik ix-inniyhoutchoMwrurdyfor camiw 1 1 il tlii .ci lvmty-'cn ji'dh, aud litto necr kiitmn it to fall lu irTt-itiur a cure.- L. S. CihiOKKii. VlUia11.KlUe, N. Y. lor tvility ye in 1 lue uhI 1'aik Killer, nd foiinil it t ueu-r-f tiling rvimdy forculdn iUd ioro tbnut --1JH1HV SK1MAS. Hne rcctli'd liiiiii'di.,tck relief frrm colds nnd ho re thr.it mid coufidur jour V.us Killfr au lUVnlllilblo ifllifd. . (iLO. Ii. KVKHtTT, IUcVIdbod, I lini ttt rwoered-froin a wry mere cold, viiltti I ,tc U i fnr 411110 tin.e. I could (rrt no relief uutll I tried our Iain Kili.kh, which raiuved me iimindlotelyt I will netr uk&Ih bo wit'iout it '.). Folic k, Ijowndt s, (la. Havuii-wlPus Kili t n in my family for forty jpaw and hue ncMer knoAva H to fail. Hansom Lfwh, V iu-lhir.i, (la. I Uviiii ii-luif Pun KiLLrn In mv fuinily tneiity (He je.irrf atra oud luvo used lti't r r-lm .iil hae found linimdiriuMoUl.uItrf I'luco. U. V, Dylb, Uniiivit, Out Id i. X. V. 1 in hoo iuiM-oiik'h rud croup It in tho lfft preii-ir: tion tnt do. o would not be without it. A P. luiL-ys Wbtrty miiik. Vo. J-iirtwtnti.tHi! j eaw I hao uhhI Pain Killer for mid- end ibaii-ed h r, tnd t oilfiller itthett't iiiCiliciuo c i r otu id. (I to Uuoi IhnluKton, N.O. 1 wjpnii(erh'ir enily with lironrliltli, nnd my t.im't wan ho lufitnitd 1 m d tcanely Muallotr rm f i il. 1 wiwudtin-d tito 3'ur Pain Kii i.m itid ofU'r t Mnir n few donn wlh (oni)'lcUly imtd. (' M.Kivf.ov. l'r. Ww.ton wiiu frn.i C(bfion! Your Tain Kir.LUu cuv di hthciia nul tore throat, ro alarm-.-1 itrtyf li'ii t h to, rnd lmt not U en kuowu to . i Mil 'ii ?, .Wu'-'lo imtaine. Thin fact )ou should luuKo knoMii titho woild Mr-. 1 LL( 11 M"s writ': M; rcn wanUVrn lolently ft!; with dh( thfri?,hiifh fr, and tvld thill. no i r iiy thildrcu hat ilUd here, I was efrtd to Pull a i hyeioian, and tried jour Pain ICii.i.fii. Ho wi tuVen rn hiiiidnv. and ou Vi-dne-div hid thimt wan clear. It waa a won dcrfid LMm'.aud I i.h It lould lu known to tha jntor ui'jtLierri shn nro lor-intf x-o mauy childnu. For ( hills and Tever PAIN KITXKK haa n i Miu 1. It ti ntiuht'ii everything flao fulls. U lavsart oitun dangerous. A bottle of Tain Kii.i.kiMii the houi-u Is a bafeguard that no ramlly should le w Ittout. All druggists sell It at5v, 50c. ( and $1,00 per botth. PERRY DAVIS & SON, Proprletorj, Provldonco, R. I. PLAIN TRUTHS The blood is the foundation of life, it circulates through every part of the body, and unless is pure and rich; good health is impossible. If disease has entered the system the only sure and quick way to drive it out is to purify and enrich the blood. These simple facts are well known, and the highest medical authorities agree that nothing but iron will restore the blood to its natural condition ; and also that all the iron preparations hitherto made blacken the teeth, cause head ache, anil arc otherwise injurious. Urown's Iron l!m ers ill thor oughly and quickly assimilate with the blood, purif)ing and strengthen ing it, and thus tli i e disease from any part of the system, aud it will not blacken the teeth, cause head ache or constipation, aud is xsi lively not injurious. Saved his Child. 17 N. Euuw St., lUltimurc, Md. lib. 11, 1880. Gents: Upon the recommend... tlou of a friend 1 tried Hkumn's Ikon Hittuks as a Ionic and re htoratiit: for my daughter, uliom 1 was thoroughly convinced u.it wasting an ay with Consumption. Hating lost three daughters by the terrible disease, tinder the cajc of eminent physicians, 1 was loth to believe that anj thing could arrest the progress dl the disease, but, to my great surprlte, before my daugh ter had taken one bottle of IIkown's Ikon UirTBKS. she began to mend and now is quite restored to former health. A tilth daughter began to show signs of Consumption, and sx when th physlckm was consulted he quickly said "Tonics were re. nuircdi" and when Informed that the ilder sister was taking Ukoun's I iion llinuis, responded "that is a good tonic, take it." AUOKAM PlIVLI'S. Urown's 1 bon Ilin ers effectual ly cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion and Weakness, aud renders the gieatest relief and benefit to persons suffering from such wasting tliseases as Con sumption, Kidney Complaint, etc. ft ' ' w AINHKlilT A; CO., vuou:sA u: okocms, I'llll.AHKI.I'IIIA .' i IKsHHVIUJIM COKFBK,SU(lAItgAUH,ss H, KICK, STICKS UIUKUSOni,A'C AC N K. corner s. con 1 and Arch streets, rdcis wt:i re clvo prompt attvntl .n. THE I'ANTAIiKAIMI ISINDKK. FOU SALK ONLY AT II K UOIAIMIMAN" OFFICE. OAU, AND SEE. litheria tfr Hi IT BLOOMSBU11G, PA., FRIDAY M ARCH 24, Poetical. TENNYSON'S NEW POEM, TlIK ClIAIiUli OK TDK HkAVY HlltOADB I llAI.Akl.AVA, 00X0118112.1, 18.j4. I. Tho Chi.rgo of th (latlant Three Hundred, Iho Heavy Ilrlgidc. Down the hill, down tho hill, thousands of Hus- slabs, Thousands of horsemen drew to tie valley And stayed. Forscirlelt and Bcarle't'l three hundred were rldlog by, When the points tf tho HussUn lances broke In on tho sky; And called i "Left wheel Into line," and they wheeled and obeyed. Then bo looked at th" ho-t that had halted, ho knew not why, And he turned ha:t round and ho bado Ids trumpeter sound "To the charge," and he rodo on ahead, as hi waved his blade, To tho gallant three hundred, whose glory will never die, Follow and up the hill 1" Up tho hill, up tho hill, followed tho II nvy ltrtgade, . ' f 'if A i The trumpet, the gallon, tho cuuge and the ml h of the fight. Down the hill slowly thousands of Itusslans Drew to the valley and haltc 1 at I ist on tho heigh c with a wing pushed oJt to tho left, and a wing to tho right. But Scarlett was far on ahad, and he dashed u alone Through thj great gray slope of nun And he whirled hti sabre, ho held his own Like an Englishman there and then, And the three that were nearest him followed with force. Wedged themselves in between horso and horse. Fought for their lives In the narrow gap they had made, Four amtd thoisands ; and up tho hill, up tha hill, Galloped the gallant threo hundred, the Heavy Brigade. III. Fell ltko a cannon-shot, Burst like u thunderbolt, Crashed ltko a hurricane, Broke through the masj from telow, Drove through tho midst of the foe, Plunged up and down, to and fro, Hode, flashing blow upon blow, Brave Innlskllllngs and Oreys, Whirling their Babres In circles of light. And some of us, all In a maze, Who were held for a wbllo from tho fight And wero only standing at gan When tho dark, mulll:d ltusslan crowd Folded Its wings from tha left and tho light And rolled them around like a cloud Oh 1 mad for tho chargo and tho battle word we, When our own good red coats sank from sight, Like drops of blood In a dark gray sea ; And we turned to each other, muttering all dis mayed: "Lost are tho gallant Utreo Hundred, tho lloavy Brigade 1" IV. But they rode like Victors and Louis, Through the fore.-ts nt lances and swords ; i In tho heart of tho Russian hordes, v Thoy rode, or they stood at bay; Struck with tho sword-hand and Blew ; Down with tho bridle-hand drew Tho too from tho saddle, and tirew Under foot tdicro lu tho fray ; Raged like storm, or stood llko a rock In the wave of a stormy day; Till suddenly, shock upon shock. Staggered the mass from without ; For our men galloped up with a cheer and a shout, And tho Itusslans surged and wavered and reeled Dp the hill, up tho hl:l, up the hill, out of tho field, Over tho brow and away. V. v - , Glory to each and to all, and tho chaise, that tcey madel Glory to all tho Throj Hundred, the Heay Brigade. STATE CELEBRITIES. FkaNKMN It. (illWEN, PliESIDKNl OF TUB ltK.MIINd K.MI.KOAI) Company. l'lllI.ADEI.I'IHA 1'KKft.S. "A splendid type of the Amcricnn law yer; u noble example for young men to emulate." This wns the remark of a geu- tlemnii who linil traveled fur to hear the hpeethes of the jury which rendered the first verdict ngaiust :i Mollie Magulre for murder. And us he spoke he looked nt I'ritnklln 11. (iowen, who stood in the crowded court room at I'ottsville facing the jury which was to decide the fate of the man whose obedience to the commands of in oatli-uound society inaile mm n-rt'il-handed murderer, denied him absolution in the church, und struck down the heads of two families. It was a mi'morttble day in the anthracite coal region. Tor many years millions of rapltal and thousands of honot, laboring men had been terrorized by the same secret foe. Propel ly was not worth the price of the premium paid to in sure it. Xo ninn'H life was safe, not even that of the "butty" who worked at the breast with miners who hud orders to kill and make a clean job of it. The deliverance hud come, and Mr. (iowen announced It with drniiritlc effect In these words: The time litiw gone by when the mur derer, the Incendiary, and the assassin can go home reeking fiom the commission of crimes, contldent In the laet that lie can ap pear before a jury and have au alibi proved for him to allow liim to escape punishment. There will be no more false alibis lu this country; the time for them has gone forever. IS'o more false alibis. No more contldent reliunee upon the perjury of relatives und friends to prove au alibi for hiiu who was seen In the commission of the act, No more dust thrown in the eyes of juries to blind them from looking directly at the facts of a case; ami I do kiiv, that If there wus any. thing to be proud of, to be glad of, after the fact that we are enfranchised mid disen thralled from this despotism and this tyranny that has been hanging over us, it Is that the administration of justice will no longer be polluted, anil disgraced by perjury and false swearing, for the purpose of res cuing a criminal from the just vengeance of the law." The scene produced by this e tittenient will never be forgotten. As the words were uttered the speaker glanced back at two hundred Motile Magulrcs who polluted the temple of justice with their presence, and the bhudowmado by Ida Index linger pro. dueeil n dark line on'the nose of the king of the ilollle.s, Jack Kehoe, who nervously watched every movement of the lawyer and drank lu his words as though he was re. celvlng his death sentence as it nully proved to be. Mlt, OOWKN'rl ANCKMHV. Ill the year 1811 Jaiiies Gowcn, the father of the subject of this sketch, arrived ill America from Ireland. For many years ho waiTcugugcdiii mercantile pursuits TTi this city, and after accumulating a snug fortune. retired as a merchant ami tlexoted the re lunluder of his life to agriculture, becoming a State celebrity as a breeder of short-horn Diirlinms, lie was ono of tlic founders of the State Agricultural Society ami served nx its President for several terms. Though de voted to fanning and cuttle raising, thu elder (Iowen found u little time to recreate in politics, und on two r.ccusioim wan per Biiudcd lo become the cumlldntc of the untl Jacksou party for Congrets. No speeches , of his are recorded in the (Xngrtulonal liecard, from which it tuny be Inferred that autl JacksonitcH were not as plenty in those days as stockholders In Heading were during the second week of the present month. .Mrs. James (Iowen, the mother of Franklin 11., was the daughter of Joseph Miller, of Mt. Airy, a citizen of Uerinan extraction, who lived on a farm hi: inherited from his father, nnd which Is still owned by thu (lowcn family. Mr. Miller was n Presby. terlan, and contributed largely to thu erection of the First Presbyterian church of Ucrmantowii. James Uowen'st ancestors In Ireland were methodists, but, like most Meth odists in those days, belonged to thu llstab llshed church, For many years Mr. James Uowen was u regular attendant at and a pro minent member of St PiuilV, on Third street, this city, nnd later became attached to St. Luke's chinch, In Ocrmantowu, ui.der the ministration of the venerable John Hod ney, the oldest Kplscopal rector now living in this State, and who Is still the olliclating nnd beloved pastor of the same church. IIH KAItt.Y I.IFK. Franklin 11. Oowen was born nt Mt. Airy on the Mb of February, 1830. With his brother, James (lowcn, the well-known eminent lawyer und faithful friend, he re ceived his curly education lu Jit. Airy, lie was hardly old enough to travel alone when he was sent to thu Catholic Institu tion at F.inmetsburg Md., where he receiv ed the foundations of a splendid eiliir.ition, and he finished his school days nt the well known Moravian Institution at I.ltltz, Lan caster county, ltefore he became of age he commenced to cam Ids own living as a clerk in Htnngardei's store at I.anea-tcr. Subsequently, nnd when scarcely twenty one years of age, lie had charge of a fur mice at Shamokln, Pa, which he left in 18.T7, to engage in the coal mining business lu Mt. I.alTey, Schuylkill county. It was while thus engaged that Mr. Oowen acquainted himself with the vast resources of the an thrucite coal field", and the first Ideas of the great mineral wealth of Schuylkill county, and its relations to the Heading Hallrond Company, were gathered while struggling ns a member of the firm of Turner fc Uowen to earn a livelihood. The Unit failed In busi ness, and Mr. Uowen assumed a load of In debtedness, an obligation which he honestly discharged later in life to the very cent. His father watched the progress of his favorite son with many misgivings. To engage in coal mining twenty-four years ago was re garded with the same fciirs ami doubts as a venture lu thu unknown Uunnison country is to-day, and this sire of u hopeful son was not well pleased with young Frank until he entered as a student in a Poltsvillu law ofllce, and applied himself to the study of the law. On thu 31st day of May, 1S00, thu name of Franklin 11. Oowen was registered as a member of the Schuyl kill County ; liar, and before he was three years older he had been elected Dis trict Attorney, served two years anil resign ed, the latter act being necessitated by the accumulation of a great practice, thu emolu ments of wlileli would have restrained any. body else from relinquishing thu olllce. Hut Mr. Gowen never practiced for fees alone; no more did he accept the Presidency of the Philadelphia aud Heading Hailro.td Com. pnny for the sake of the salary. A man who pays other people's debts as lie did when he assumed the indebtedness of Turner & Uow en; one who enters a light for humanity's sake as he did when lie enlisted Allan Pink eiton against the murderous gang which ter- loried the coal region, and kept McParland at work ferreting out crime, at great personal cost, will never be accused for working sole ly for money. So that when the Heading Hailroad Company sought and employed him as counsel, while It still had eminent counsel in the same locality, on pay and no work, he accepted the position, and resigned n prominent public ofllcu and devoted his whole time and all his talent to a single client. lie could have commanded In that year a sihiry of iJ50,000 from the best rail road in the United States, and gone out of the State, but he Is a Pennsylvania!! und he preferred to remain at home and take his chances with home institutions. A IIAll llOAIl PliKslUGNr. The legal business of thu Philadelphia and Heading Hailroad Company became heavy In proportion as the trallle of the road In creased, and the company a-.ked Mr. Uowen to lease Ids mountain home and take up Ids residence In tills city. He was so successful as a lawyer for thu company, that Charles K. Smith, the companj'.s president, conceived the Idea that he was thu proper pcison to succeed to the olllce. .Mr. Smith found that the company's alfairs overreached his own ability to grapple with them, and of all the many good men In the company's Fcrvlcu and among the stockholders he could Und no one who could till the bill as well as Franklin H. Gowcn. Mr. Smith rvas a firm believer In -Mr, Gowen's theory that the company should fortify itself against the possible encroach ment of rural lines, ami was the llrst man to indorse the plans proposed by Mr. Uowen as a condition precedent to his acceptance of the olllce of president of the Philadelphia and Heading railroad. Accordingly, thirteen years ago, .Mr. Smitli announced his inten tion of retiring from active service, and mini- hinted Mr. Oowen for the succession. -Mr, Uowen was duly elected, and has been the olllclal head of thu company ever since, being annually re-elected at every election, except lu 1881, when opposition to his plans for the lellef of thu company brought forth opposition, aud created au interregnum with Frank S, Dond at the head. .Mr. Uowen's policy, when, in 1800, ho accepted the great trust of President of the second railroad in Pennsylvania, was that thu company should own the coal and iron on thu lands in the lo calities from which tlio railroad company drew its revenue. lie, accordingly, secured a charter for a coal and iron company, and went into active business as a miner and shipper of coal, In such capacity liu revolu- lionized the coal trade, mid became nmstcr of the situation, making ids company the leading operator, miner and shipper, and virtually dictator of the mining industry of Pennsylvania. 1IIK MAX AS WK FIND HIM. Mr. Uowen will bo forty.slx years old on thu llrst monthly anniversary of Ids reinstate, li.ent'lo thu responsible position of President of thu Philadelphia and Heading railroad aud brunches aud tlio Coal ami Iron Com- pany. HU birth-day occurs on thu Otli of next month. In appearuueu hu looks llku a man of forty years, tall, dignified ami of commanding presence. His personal mag netlc power is very great, and he lias attach. cd to himself it larger circle of devoted friends than any other Pcnnsylvuiilun. Ho is a polished speaker, u ripe scholar and muu of wonderful memory, lie can abstract the cube mot of any given number as quickly us he can tell you thu number of miles of rail of Heading railroad, lint Ids quality Is Integrity. Honesty Is depleted lu every ex. prcbslou of his handsome face anil Is shown 1882. Ill every act, olllclal und Individual. This accounts for much of the confidence reposed In Mm which showed Itself nt thu recent great battle to secure the management mid control of the trut. In politics he Is a Dcni- ncnil, and It Is an open secret that the iiom- Innllon of his party for thu Governorship Is within his grasp at any lime. His past life and acts as a man anil a manager, accounts for thu rest; to the gentleman who nppionch- cs htm nsonly n gentleman will, he Is nllablc und kind. 1 o the bore he is quick to speak and rough In his nctlonsi to ids Intimate friends he is cordial aud communicative ; to his family, tic is indulgent and kind, and to the world, lie Is plain F. 11. Uowen, who courts no title, no homage, and cannot be llattered by the mention of ids iiuiuc for pub lie position. His life 1? devoted to working out the great problem of the restoration of the Heading Hallrond Company to solvency and prosperity. It Is to be hoped that ids success In his labor will lie a paramount to Ids merits. Sol.. Fosinn, Jit. A $1,500,000 Diamond Found. From all accounts, the wonderful lCoh-1-noor, or "Mountain of Ught," the property of her llrlttanlo .Majesty, Is eclipsed by a rc. ccntly discovered diamond found in South Africa, and now in possession of Mr. Portcr Hhodes, who is, wu believe the fortunate dlscoveier -of the gem. Thu weight of the iiewly.fnuud stone is 150 carats. It Is uncut, but from Its peculiarly favor, able shape It Is not expected to lose more than 10 carats during the process. The dia mond Is as big as a very large walnut, und is described as like "a hailstone lu sunlight, of a bewitching transparency, and brilll.in t whiteness no other precious metal can vie with." Most Cape diamonds are of an inferior yellowish tinge, which detracts from thu val ue of the stones ; but this specimen Is not only the largest ever discovered, but of a purity unsurpassed by any of Its compeers. We understand that the stone was recently shown lo the Prince of Wales at .Marlbor ough House, and that his best diamonds when placed beside the Portcr-llhodes stone were seen to be off-color." Offers for his property How in upon the lucky owner fiom all parts of Kuropc. The first offer received was i'50,000 ; the last made was 100,000. The owner's banks, we hear, are willing to advance 00,000 against the security. The stone will not, it is thought, change hands under 200,000, which Is just 50,000 more than the famous Koh-l-noor is valued at. Mr. Portcr-Hhodes asks the trilling sum of 1100,000, or i?l,5t)0,000, for his property, and docs not seem in a hurry to dispose of it. It is rumored that a ltus-dan Prince is in treaty for the jewel. A Trial of Endurance. '.My dear,' queried Mr. Spoopendykc, 'did you put those oysters on the cellar lloor with the round shells down, as I told you ':' 'I did most of 'em,' replied Mrs. Spoopen dykc. 'Some of 'cm wouldn't stay that way. They turned right over.' 'Must have been extraordinary intelligent oysters ' muttered Mr. Spoopenkyke.cycing her with suspicion. 'Didn't any of 'em stand iij) on end und ask for tin morning paper, did they?' Tou know what I mean,' llutterni .Mrs. Spoopendykc. They tipped over sideways, and so I laid them on the Hat shell.' 'That's right,' grunted Mr. Spoopendykc. 'You want lo give an oyster his own way, or you'll hurt his feelings. Suppose you bring us some of those gifted oysters and an oyster knife, nnd we'll eat 'cm.' Mrs. Spoopendyku hurried away and pat tered back with the feast duly set out on a tea waiter, which she placed before Mr. Spoopendykc with a flourish. 'Now,' said she, drawing up her sewing, chair, and resting her elbows on her knees nnd her chin on her hands, 'when you get all you want you may open mu some.' .Mr. Spoopendyku whirled the knife around Ids head and brought it down with a shaip crack. Then hu clipped away at thu end for a moment, and jabbed at what he supposed was the opening. The knife slipped and plowed the balk off his thumb. 'Won't come open, will yur' hu snorted fetching it another lick, and jabbing away iguin. 'Haven't completed your census ot who's out here working nt ve, have ye?' and he brought It another whack. --'P'raps ve think I haven't fully made up mv mind to call within, don't ye?' and lie rammed the point of the knife at it, knocking the skin off Ids knuckle. That isn't the .-.-ay to open an oyster', sug- jested .Mrs. Spoopendykc. 'Look here,' roared Mr. Spoopendvke.turii. ing fiercely on his wife, 'have you got any private understanding with tills oyster? Has the oyster confided in you the particular way in which he wants to be opened?' No-o!' stammered .Mrs. Spoopcudvke. 'Only 1 thought -' Tills is no time lor thought !' shouted Mr. Spoopendykc, banging away at the edge of the shell. 'This is the moment for battle.aud if I've happened to catch this oyster during olllce hours, he's going to enter into relations wllli the undersigned. Come out, will ye?' he yelled, as his knife Hew mi Ids sleeve. .Maybe you' dont recognize the voice of Spoopendykc. Come out, ye dod gassed coward, before y make an enemy of me for life !' and lie pelted away at the shell witli the bundle of the knife, anil spattered mud like a dredging machine. Let me get you it Iminiiif r to craekflilin with,' recommended Mis. Spoopendykc, hovering over her husband in great pertur bation. Don't want any hammer!' howled Mr. Spoopendykc, slamming around with his knife. 'S'pose I'm going to miu brute foreu on n dod gtisted fish that 1 could swallow ullve If I could only get him out of hlhouc? Open your measly premises !' raved Mr. Spoopeiidykc, stabbing at the oyster vindict ively, and slicing ids shirt sleeve clear to the elbow. 'Cuinu forth and eniov thu society of Spoopendykc!' and the worthy gentleman foamed at the mouth as hu sunk back in ids chair ami contemplated his stubborn foe with glaring eyes. 'I'll tell you what to do !' exclaimed .Mrs. Spoopendyku , radiant with profound Idea. 'Crack mm in the door.' 'That's the scheme! grinned Mr. Spoopcu. dyke, with horrible contortions of visage. Fetch mu tho door, Set that door right be foru mu on a plate. This oyster is going to stay hero. If you think this oyster Is going to enjoy any cliaugu of climate until ho strikes the tropics of Spnopeiidykc,you don't know the domestic habits of shell-fish. Loose your hold!' squealed Mr. Spoopcu dyke, returning to the charge, nnd fetching the blalve a prodigious wliuck. 'Come out and let me introduce you to my wife;' and Spoopendyku laid the oyster on thu arm of lii chair and slugged him remorselessly. 'Walt!' squealed Mrs. Spoopendykc, 'hero U one with his mouth open I' and she pointed cautiously nt n gasping oyster who had evl THE COLUMBIAN, VOl . XVI, NO 12 COLUMIIIA URMOOHATi VOl . XIVU. NO. 3 denlly taken down the shutters to feu what the row was about. 'Don't care a dod gasted nickel with u hole In it!' protested Mr. Hpoopendyke, thoroughly impatient. 'liere'H onu that's going to open Ids mouth or the resurrection will find him still wrestling with the ostcnsl ble head of this family. Owl' and Mr. Spoopendykc, having rammed thu knife Into thu palm of his baud slammed the oyster ngalnst thu chimney-piece, where It was shattered, mid danced around thu room wriggling with wrath nnd agony. 'Never mind the oysters, dear,' cried .Airs. Spoopendykc, following him around and trying lo disengage his wounded hand from his armpit. 'Who's minding Yin ?' tonred Mr. Spoop. endyke, standing on onu leg nnd bending up double. 'I tell ye that when I start to lutllct discipline on u narrow minded oyster that won't either accept au Invitation or send regrets, lie's going to mind incl Where's the oyster? Show me the oyster. Arraign the oyster.' 'Upon my word you've opened him,' gig gled Mrs. Spoopendykc, picking the smashed bivalve between the tips of her thumb and forefinger. 'Won't have him 1' sniffed .Mr Bpoopen dyke, eyeing thu broken shell and tiring his defeated enemy Into the grate. 'If I can't go In at the front door of an oyster, I'm not going down the setlttlu! That" all comes of laying 'em on the fiat shell,' he continued, suddenly recollecting that his wife was to bluinu for the whole business. 'Now you take the lest of 'em down und lay 'em as I told you to.' 'Yes, dear,' And another time you want any oysters, you sit around In the cellar, and when they open their mouths, you put sticks In. You hear?' 'Yes, dear.' And Mrs. Spoopendykc took the bivalves back, resolving that the next time they were in demand they would crawl out of their shells and walk up stairs arm lu arm before she would have any hand in the mutilation of her poor, dear, suffering husband by bringing them up herself. ltrool.lin JCogle. How a King Earned Two Trance. King Humbert, of Ilaly.ls as fond of shoot lug ns was Ids royal father, Victor Ihnnmuuel. From time to time, oblivious of all royal cus toms and court etiquette, lie separates him self from his suite and, gnu in hand, goes out alone in search of gamc,accompanied by his two favorite dogs. Dining one of his excursions he was met by n peasant, who looked on with admiration nt the havoc the king had made among a covey of partridges. He did not know the monarch, lie went up to liim, complimented him on Ids skill with his gun, and then told him that if hu would come to Ids farm on the following morning at day break and kill a lox which had made several raids on his hen-roost he would not mind giving him a couple of francs for his trouble. King Humbert kept the appoint ment, nnd was fortunate enough to kill the fox. The delighted peasant welcomed him on his return, and called his wife nnd chll dren out. aud insisted on the King sharing their breakfast with them. At the end of the repast the peasant took leave of his visitor, pressing u two-franc piece in his hand which the. King tossed up in the air and caught de. during it was the first money he had ever earned. Two days afterward the peasant was surprised to see tin olllcer In uniform ride up In au open carriage with presents from thu King for his wife and children. He then learned to whom he owed the obligation anil was confused at the familiar manner in which he had hobnobbed with royalty A pretty good story is told about Laud Agent Mllncr of the Atchison, Topeka nnd Santa Fe railroad, who one day had a parly of eastern farmers in tow, trying to sell each of them a farm in thu rich Arkansas valley Mllncr had taken them into his light wagon, and behind his spanking team of bays had 1 given them a grand ride, lusting all day ' Hu had done his best to make them cnthu siastie by rehearsing the stoiies, which hu nan in tongue's end, or Hie marvelous crops of tin; valley, but to all intents it was "love's labor lost," for they would not 'thiise. This annoyed Mllncr, but he had his revenge in Ids reply to one of tlu party, who, with u sardonic smile, asked: "Well, Mr. Agent, is there anything that won't mow here? 'Yes," replied Mllncr, "pumpkins won't,' V hat !" exclaimed the cynical laud-btiyers together, "pumpkins won't?" "No," bald Mllncr; "there aie men in this country who would give ijAll) an acre for land that would mature a crop of pumpkins. They never have been able to get a crop since I've been here, und that's ten years." "Well, how strangu! Why is it?" said land-biiver No 1. fids was Mllnci's chance, and, with serious expression, he replied; Well, sir, the soil is so rich that the vines grow so fast they wear the pumpkins out dragging them over the ground." Kansas Sketches A "Strange if True" Story About Santa Anna, Jiuigu Jiujor, ot Kentucky, recently re lated the following story of Santa Anna, the Mexican D.etuton "Did you ever hear," he aid "that lie was a Kentuckian?" icon fessed that I never had. "Well, that is be Moved by many old people about Frankfort I have heard It from boyhood. It is said that Santa Anna, afterward President of the Mexican Republic, was nn Illegitimate son of Nat Sanders, of this country. While youth he went to New Orleans in a llatboat, and was never afterwards heard from N hen captured at San Jacinto, In 183(1, hu was brought to this place on Ids way to AVnsh. iugton, and was recognized by the Sanders, who recognized liim as their Illegitimate and long lost relative. He did not deny It, He spoke r.nglWt like a Kentuckian, and with a Kentucky accent. One of the Sandeis had determined to kill him, on account of the death of a relative lu thu massacre of the Alamo, lmt abandoned that intention ou learning that they were blood relatives The mother of Kvan K. Settle, of Owenton was a Sanders, and shu beats a marked resemblance to thu pictures of Sauta Anna. I.arkin F. Sanders, Heprountatlv from Carroll county to the present Ucneral Assembly, belongs to the family, us also did thu noted Ueorgo N. Sanders, who figured so prominently lu politics during the mlmliiW (rations of Pierce and lluchuiiuii. DKSTIIOVINO TUB COSrKNTS OF A 1IOO.M used by n small pox patient may be avoided by using Darby Prophylactic Fluid. It is morally criminal to neglect thu use of nich disinfectant and preventive. It is certainly best to prevent thu spread of dlsense, and those who will nu Daibys Prophylactics l' luld freely about their houses will be saved from thu attacks of all -contagious disease and death Itself, The charcoal man was out culling on New Yeut's day, Kver)body in the nelghboihood heard him, !Ncw Orleans Picayune 3tf 110 t,M 7WI SOD 14UI S3 10 t lr 15 ( turn Hll 1100 llW) IS 03 i;i ro ii3 m liro 'Aioi) AIO) MOO &I0 10000 inoo rn) 7 oo . BW . ineo not) 30 00 Yearly nihcrlliemcnlfl pnynhlo nilarteily. Tiah slcnt ndivrtKcmcnU mtiit bo paid for lfore Inserted xcept where parties liavonecounl. Iwat ail rrt Iwmcnta two dollars per Incli for l lireo Iniertlon', nnd at that rato for Additional Insertions without reference to lenglh. , l.'xtcutor's. Aidnlnlslrnlnr'fi, ami Auditor' notices three dollars. Must bo paid for when inserted. Translentor Ixxil nollccfv ten ccnlso lino, regulur adiertlsrinciiUhnlf rates. ' '1 i'nii in the "HtislncsiuDlrcctojj''. column, ono dollar per year ior enf n line. The Boy UndcrstSal A stall keeper on thu market .had been antlnjr. n boy lo assist ilin, and , yesterday ono of Ills friends presented n lad of fourteen whom liu thought would suit. After few general Inquiries the stall keeper said i "This boy will iinvu the haudliiiav ot lite money III my absence, and will be exposed to temptation." - "Yes, we understand that," replied tlio man. "The llrst boy 1 had here embezzled h dollar, and I discharged him." ' Certainly, certainly." "And the next stole five nhd I hud him tent up." "Yes, certainly." "And this boy" "This boy understand himself," Inter rupted tho citizen. "If lie can't steal enough to make it an object for you to settle with him for fifty cents on the dollar he won't touch it penny. We've talked it over and it's an understood tiling.' Fulfillment of a Dream. Myer Hubensteln, tii'atcrson (N. J. ) jewel- has worn n ?350 diamond pin for the last thirty-two years. On Sunday last ho lost It, ns lie supposed, while Id tho cellar, but the closest -search failed to discover its where abouts, although everything in the cellar was thuioughly ovei hauled, and several barrels of onions emptied nnd each onion examined, Mrs. Hubensteln, while sitting in a chair in the store, fell asleep. In her dreams a young glrl,somewlmt resembling her own daughter, nppcared to her nnd seemed to sny, "You'll find pa's pin in the second barrel of onions." Mrs. Hubensteln awoke and Immediately went down into the cellar, and from a barrel of onions which she overturned there rolled out some decayed onions, In one of wlijch lay the diamond pin, firmly embedded luthc soft mass. They now believe lu tho efficacy of dreams in the ltubeiistcin family. Couldn't See the Analogy. To the class In metaphysics at thu uulvcr. ity the professor was trying the other day lo impress upon a student thu theory that the mind is always active, even whilu thu senses sleep. In this connection illustrations were drawn from certain power possessed by tho lower animals, together with thu Inference that man, possessed higher Intelligence than brutes, must be ublu to do moro than they. A turkey in a tree," said thu profc.ssor.prcs- cntly, "will sleep all night long on a twig not much larger around than this leiid-poncll in my hand. How would such au act be possible If the intelligence or will was not consciously active In order to make allow ance f'r the swaying c.ufsedby the wind and enable tho turkey to strike a point of equili brium ?" "Hut, Professor," put in the matter-of-fact student, "I don't think it Is correct to infer that n man. could sleep all night on such twig withoutalling off." Odd Items. 'Inquirer" asks : "Can a man ha a Christ- Ian and play euchre ? The opinion is Unit be can play euchre, but he probably will not win if he Is conscientious. .V little boy who has been used to receiving his older brother's old' toys and clothes re cently remarked, "Ma, will 1 have to marry his widow when he dies?" P. I. 3Inn. Told the truth : When we asked our girl to marry us she said she didn't mind and we have since found out that she didn't. Toledo American. A llostonlan has discovered that thu dr- cular saw was first introduced into this country about thu year 1S17; but the year in which a man 11 i st placed his hand onu rapid ly revolving buzz, saw to learn If it was mov ing still remains in doubt, fNorristown Herald. A prisoner in an Iowa jail tried to escape nnd was shot aud wounded. He now sues the jailer for damages caused by the shooting. The politicians haven't got all the check in tlits countrv. A scientist says: "Kvcry person carrici enough pliosphoius in his body to make 4000 ordinary matches." All that gills who desire lo beconie first-class matches havu to do is to ciiuw wood. A western exchange wants to know why inthraeitc coal is delivered In Liverpool for s4.fi0 per ton, iindatDecorah, Iowa, for!!.- JO, if railroads arc such a blessing. Our co. temporary doesn't appear to understand that it costs money to build railroads, but thu ocean was alreadv there, and doesn't cost n cent fnr repairs. n Ohio journalist tired twenty-six bullets At a stuffed alligator lying on a sand-bank, and then paid a boy two shillings to tell him whether he was cross-eyed or onl stone blind. Cincinnati man who wanted to avoid arrest, disguised himself as a hook agent, and could not get within twenty rods of a policeman. You made a fool of me," said an irate? man to Ids wife. "My love," she sweetly re. sponded, "you do yourself .Injustice. Call yourself a fool, If you wish, but rcinembci you arc in all respects u self-made man." Physicians say it is not healthy to sleep In the daytime. That Is why tho baby which Is taken to church never goes to sleep. It knows what Is good for its health. I find that with light meals my health im proves," said an KsquimuuNi and down went another candle. They have a brand of whiskey In Ken- kueky known ns "The Horn of plenty," because it will corn you copiously, fDetrolt Chaff. Ilmse racing, bays u Western pteafhtr, Is an ulcer, No sir, you aro mistaken. It's simply n riiunround, Inn trial before n Justice at Dodge city, n witness who was being bullyragged by a cross-examining lawyer called on the Court 111 ono Inch .... . ., tsoo Two Inches'. . .k .... iiM) Three Inches....... m Four Inches boo Oimtler column. .. d'O Ilaltcolumn. InO) One column WW for protection. The Justice handed him a pistol. "I have no further questions," said the lawyer. Sentiment on ico ; "How beautiful is the dome of Heaven tills evening." said Angelica as she leaned heavily on his nrin, "Tho stars seem to look down upon us" , "Oh, yes." said practical John, "It's Impossible for them to look up to us, you know, They cawn't " Sudden check to an evening's till of most de. llglitftil sent lmeiitullly. A giveaway: Yesterday thu wife Of one of our friends returning home knocked at her own door. Nobody coming the rang iiguln. SHU nobody. FInully, nt a louder, longer ring, the yulet concluded to show him. self. "Pray, aru you deaf ?" said the lady I '1 big paidon, inaduiue," mid the vuht. liiuiquiuy, "but i iitniit idiiy llie third ling"