JC o In mi It is it HCOI.fMnlA IlKMOllUT, UTAH or TIIR NOHTII,ntlll rni.l'tf- lUAJl, I UllSUIHIIIiniiJ l.;tr-i1 Wrckly, i-wry I'rlilny .1luriilntf nl 1M Stf Alt 6M IT onolnch ., Iim is no Iflon woo Two Inchon... a rio 4tio soi 800 laoo Thrco Inches 40u boo ion 1 1 ft isoj Four Inches &oo too 9oj moo moo Qunrter column..., flio 800 looo is on anew Half column In oo 14 01 not) e moo ono column soon mso swoo oooi linoo Yenrly mlvertlscments pnyntdn nunrterly. Tran sient advertisements must bo paid for before Inserted except whero parties liavo accounts. t-eitftl advert Isements two dollars per lncli for threo Insertions, ami ntthat into for additional Insertions without reference to length. Executor's, Administrator's, and Auditor's notices thrco dollars. Must tio paid for when Inserted. Transient or Iical notices, ten ccn't a line, rcgnkir adverllsemcnls hnlt rates. Cards In tho "lluslness Directory" rolumn, one dollar per year for each line. IlI.bOMSIirWI, COLl'MMA CO , Pn., lATTifn iiol.Urtsncrrr-nr. To suWrltiors out nf the Icoutitv llw terms nro strictly In nilvntier. Mr-.NninpcrilUcoiitlnuml c.T(-ct nt tint nptlin ol tho iiuIiIMh-in, iintll nil nrrcnr.iir n nro imM.liii lotiK continued rmllta mil not l Riven. prAIUiiorMMonttint(if the Htnto nr In cllst.int posl ofllrcs mutt Ikj n.ilil fnr In nilr.wcc, unless n respon Bible ih'iwih In Cnlumlilitp unty nssumes to pay Hie BUb loiljitlnn duo on itomintl. Ml'O.H r.(H-l U lid Inntfer i-r.irlpil fifiin killi.u-i-llwrt In ItllO COIt'lty. .tt It 1JW I V 'I' ' V I BHbi ii .niiiuiim i-' 1111111:111 i i in- m.i mu NMirri coiiiili't mill our Jul) rrimltur "111 rniiip.ire f.ivnr.i. hit 111 h Ihtif nf I Itn l,.l-tfn i-1tl,. lit ttnrL' .1,. ........ 0. E. EIiWElli, pr...i.inTi J, K, MTTENBENDEB, "OP""8"' BLOOMSBUllG, PA., FRIDAY MA11CII 17, 1882. THE COLUMBIAN, VOL. XVI, NO. It COLUMBIA DBMOC'HAT, VOL.XLU), no, t Bliort notice, ii 'i tly nrul nt moderate price. t'UOFKSSIONAL'IAHns ' K II n 1 V A Y , ,v r r o it n t: v- r-i.Av, City a . Ht'i I in mi itiiomiuunr. Pa '"in f r ii. Ctiii.. stfltis Ui Aksoclatlon. r : n i ii ii' nit ti iiiy inri of America or Eurooe. 113 'Vvi.i.ku, HI' A t lo rn (y nt I ,aw. 1 uK:; second doorfrotn It! National Dank. nt.ooMstiuna pa. IK v' U. FUNK. Attorney-at-Livw, DLOOM8UUI10, FA. romce in Knl's Ucildinu. gJJ H A W.J. nUCKALEW, AllUlinr.l3Ai.LAW DIOOmBburg, f. nimeeoa Main street, first door botow Courtnouie IjnlJN M CLAHK, arn oiiw b v-at-l aw, Dioouistjursr.ri, fotrk-e over Schuyler's Hardware Store. Kpi W.MILLER, ATIOUNIIV-AT-LAW. 0 nice In Drowcr'sbulldlncsocond floor, room No.l, Bloomsbnrtf, Pa. IB Fit AN K ZARIt. Attornoy-at-Ijtwv. m.ooMsnuno, pa I Oltlco corner of Centre nnd Main Streets. Clark's Building. Can be consulted in German. UJ E. Oil A PIN, ATTORN EY-AT-LAW. iti.oo.iisinnte:, iv. Mav bo found In IIUCKALKW'SOFFICK, near tho Court House. Sept. 10, '91, o-m. 71 EO. E. ELwELL, At A T TO R N E Y-A T-L A W, Nkw Columbian IIcildino, llloomsburg, Pa. Meu'ber of the United States Law Association. Collections made In any part of America orEuropo B. KNOKK, L. B. WINT8RSTKEN. Notary Public KNOUR & WINTEltSTEEN, A t.torneys-at-Jjaw. OfUco In llartmau'H Block, Corner Main and Mar ket streets, Uloomsburg, Pa. if Pensions nnd ISounhet Collected. AUL E. "WIRT, Atlorney-at-Law. lonico In llrower's lllock. ono door below llrockway Building ULOOMSBURQ, PA. LG vy JAuonv. A tto rnoy-at-Law, ULOOMSBUUO, lonico In H.J. Clakr'j Hulidlntr. second IDoor, nrst uoortotuoicit. Oct. 8, 80. KJ- II. MAI'-iE, AT I UnNtY-A I -LAW AND JUSTICE OF TDK PEACE. lonico In Mrs. Ent's Building, third door from Main street. May no. w. anroiiN c. yocum, Attornoy-at-LaWi HLOOMSllUnil, PA. ionica with Hon. C. It.Buckalow. I Member of tha Amsrlcai Attorneys' Association. ICollootlons made In any part of America. dan. o, vssi. U K. OSWALD, Attoi noy-at'Lawi Jackson Building, Rooms -1 and 0, ! May 0, 1. BERWICK, PA. M. U. EYERLY, S.TTORNBY-AT-LAW, Catawlssa.Pa. collections uromrtly made and remitted. Offlco oposlte catawlss?. Deposit Bank. m-33 Vm- II. RIIA.WN, A T 1 UUN15Y-A 1-Jj A W , Catawlssa, Pa. pfllco, corner of Third and Main Streets. L. FRITZ, Attorney-al-Law. Office , in Brockwaj 's Building. June 24, "81 liT nUCKINOIIAM. Attoriiev-nl-Low. Of- LLV.flce, llrockway's Building 1st tloor, lilooms ifiurg, Penu'a. may 7, 'S"-t f f1 U. UARKLEY, Atlorney.vl.Lnw. Oflite IXJ , In Drawer's building, snd story. Itooms UJ I it B. ROBISON, Attornev-at-Law Office fl . In nartmnn'sbulldlng.Maln street. D R. WM. M. REISER. Snrceon mid Phy sician, omco corner or hock unu mi Ket m, K. EVANS. M. D.. Surgeon and Phyni . clan, (Ofilce and llcbldcncu on Third street . , IT D. McKELVY, M. D Surgeon and Phy tl) , slclan, north sldo Main street, below Market. It. J. 0. RUTTER, PaVSlCIANiSUIiaEON, omco, North Market street, t )ct. l, f9. Bloomsburg, Pa. It, I. L. RAIHJ, PRACTICAL DENTIST, Iburg.Pa. ' MalnStrt30t. onDOalto Enlsconal Church. HlnomB' i nr Teeth extractod without pain. Oct. I 1819. W. Ha HOUSE!, HLOOMSBURG, COL. 00. PA. 'All styles of work done In a superior manner, werk warranted as represented, akktu uxtkalt xd without Pain by the use of (Jas, and tree of cliargo wuen artificial teeth are Inserted, omco over Bloonsturg Hanking Company, Jo be open at all hour during the day, Nov.ss-iy MISCELLANEOUS M. DRINKER, GUN and LOCKSMITH, owing Machines and Machinery of all kinds re- aired. OnuA llocas Building, Bloomsburg, Fa. I) AVID LOWEN15ERO, Merchant Tailor Mam St., above central Hotel. KB. KUIIN, dealer III Meat. Tallow, etc, Contre street, between Socona and Third. JAMES RE ILLY, Tonsorial Artist, B atmln at hts td stand under EXCHANGE II O- I'i uuaua uas as usual n fihht.class uauukk niiur. lie respectfully soiiciib me patronage 01 mua uiuuueuimers aua 0( luo puuiiu gcueraiir, EXCHANGE HOTEL. W. R. TUBBS, PROPRIETOR BLOOusDuna. pa. OPPOSITE COintT HOUSE, Iatua and rnnvenlfntsAmntn rnnmR. llathronma hot und cold waler,aud all modern conTcnlencea PALL AND WINTER CLOTHING .-)o(- A. J. EVANS, The uptown Clothier, lias Just received a flno line of New uoodi, and Is prepared to mako up FALL AND WINTER SUITS For Men and Boys In the neatest manner and Latest styles. GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS, Hat Si Caps &o Always on hand. Call and Examine. EVANS' BLOCK Corner Main and Iron streets, ULOOIVTSBUIta, FA. PLUMBIKG GAS FITTING, STOVES and TINWARE. ,:o: E. B. BROWER Uasnurehased thoKto knnd TtiiRlness of I. llnecn- buch, and Is now prepared to do all kinds of work In his line. Plumbing and Ons Fitting asrcclnlly. Tinware, stoves, f(NqES ND -EAJEtS, In agrent variety. All work dono by EXPERIENCED HANDS, Main Street corner of East, IILOOMSItURG, IM. N. S. TINGLEY. Announces to I ho nubile that lie Is prepared to do all kinds of Custom Tailoring. iromptly and at reasonable prices. Now Is the sea on for a NEW AVINTER SUIT And Tlnglcy's tho place to get a proper lit. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Shon over Blllmcyer's Orocery. Corner of Main nnd Ccnlro streets, UIjUUMSUUUU, l'A. M. C. SLOAN & BRO., 111.01 MBHURO, l'A. M inufacturcrs of Carriages, liuEelcs.Phaeltcs Sleighs, Platform Wagons, let. First-class work alwoj s on hand. 11 EPA WING XEATLY 1)0 HE. Prices j educed to tuit the times. HIDES. Tho Highest Market Price in Cash PAID FOB. ALL KINDS OF HIDES AT A. SOLLEDER'S Leather and Shoe Finding Store Main Street, Opposite Stone Chdrch, BLOOMSBURG, PA. April 8, 'SO-ly Paper Hanging. WM. F. BODINEi HON ST., BBLOW SECOND, BLOCMf-Bl LO, Pa Is prepared to do all kinds of house PMxrama Plain and Ornamental PAPER HANGING, UOTll DECORATIVE AND PLAIN. AH KIiMlH orFiirnltnre Itcpalred. mnl in tide an gooil UN new. NONE BUT FIRST-CLASS WORKMEN EMPLOYED Estimates Made on all Work, WM. F. BOD1NE. BLOOMSBURG PLAMHB MILL The underpinned havlutr nut his Planlnir Mill on Railroad street, In lirst-ciass condition, Is prepared to uo uu K1UU4 oi woru in um one. FRAMES, SASH, DOORS, BLINDS MOULDINGS. FLOORING, Etc. furnished at reasonable prices. All lumber UBed Is well seasoned and none but skilled workmen are empiojea. ESTIMATES FOR BUILDINGS furnished on application. Plans and rpeclflcatioas prepared oy an experienced arauEnisinan ciiaul.es unuo, ItlooiiiHburg, IM. piRE INSURANCE. CHRISTIAN V. KNAPP, ULOOMSBUItO, PA. BRITISH AMERICA ASSUitANCE COMPANY (IEHM AN FIRKIN8URANCE COMPANY. RATIONAL FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY. UNION INSURANCE COMPANY. '1 heso old cosrORiTiONS aro well seasoned by age and riRK tkstid and bare never yet bad a loss sot- tied by any court of law. Tbolr assets are all Invest ed in SOLID BBCUniTIKsana arc uauie w uie uazara nf viRK onlv. Losses rsouiTLT and donestlt adjusted and paid as soon as determined by Ciihbtun f, KNirr, srio- I1L AOINTiNP ArJCSTKSBlXXJMSiDRO, Pi, The people of Columbia oounty Bbould patronlie the aeeucy where losses If any are Bottled and paid by oneonneirowncmziHin, fKOMJTNlfSS, SylllTY KAI UKAI. M' 77RKA8 llltOWN'S INHL'HANCE AOKN. I ' ui, aiojer s new uuuuiu, aiuiu siieei, uiuuius Curt', Pa. .Iltna Insurance Co., of Hartford, Conn, ii.ois.sm KOyai ui Mtcrpuui,,,.. 13,5(0,000 Lancashl ro Flru Association, Philadelphia PhuMilx.of London l)ndon & Lancashire, of Liiglund llarttorlot Hartford unrincfiplil Ktrn and Marmo lO.IH 0,000 4.1CJ.TII 6,iC0,3Ti l.iiHt.ms 9,473,000 As tho ajencles ate direct, policies aro written for the Insured without any delay In tho onice at . llAnnr., fWr 9U 'rfl.lf B V, HARTJIAN HKl'HKSKNTS THE t'OLLOWINd A31EHIOAN lrioUHArit r. uu.Mi'ANIKSi Lycoming of Muncy Peunsjlvanla. North American of Philadelphia, Pa. Franklin of ' " Pennsylvania of " " Farmers of ork, Pa. Hanover of Ncwork. Manhattan of New ork. Ofllco on Market street, No. 6, Iiloomsburir oct. si, I-ly Bt F. SHARPLESS, FOUNDER AND MACHINIST, N-AUL.& B. DEPOT, BL00MSBUHO, PENM'A. Manufacturer of Plows, stores and all kinds of Castings. Largo stoelr of Tin ware, Cook Stoves, Room Stoves, stoves for heating stores.school hous es, churches, Ac, Also, large block of repairs for city sieves of all kinds, wholesale and retall.such as Flro Brick, (Jiales, Lids, Centres,o Stove Pipe, Cook Boilers, Spldeis, Caku Plates. Urgo Iron Ket tles, Sled Boles, Wsgou Boxes, all kinds of Plow Points, Mould Boards, Bolts, Plaster, Salt, 110XE MAM 'HE, Ac rebst-s 0 E1 0 IO II MEMffISi J) Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Soranoss of tho Chest, Gout, Quins, Sore Throat, SweI'ngs and Sprains, Burns and Scalds, Gonoral Bodily Pains, Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted Foot and Ears, and all other Pains and Aches. No Preparation on earth cqualiSr, Jacohh Oil, aj A ii , ah re, ffiiMifftuid chttip KMetnul Remedy.' A trial I'litnlla hut Ihc t otupnrntlvily trilling outlay of nt) IVntH, nnd cverv ntto nitlerlng with pain con have cheap nnd puxltlvu proof of Its (.lalias. Directions lu Eleven languages. BOLD BY ALL DRUG0I8T8 AND DEALEES IN MEDICINE, A.VOGELER & CO., llalttmorv, 3Iii.t U. S, A, A cnhl or Mitr tlmmt may not wem to nmount to much, una if promptly attended to can cavil up mrut; but n'-Khrt Is ottcn followt'd liy t'mimitl(it or tllphtlieiln. NoiuuUclii" lua tvt-r iKemllovt'i-cd which notnsi Mi.u-l.ly and oiui ly In stu-h casos as lM;itIt. I) w VIS' lAl. KIliMUt. 'IhC prompt ma tif this invatualtc rtmtOy has bavtd lhus;inds of lives. 1'KIIHV lAVIS l'A IS KITJ.KK .3 not an t jM i iutt n(. 11 has been before thu jmbtio in.' foii arM, and Is most valued h re l Is tvst I. noun. A lew i us run olunUry testimonials rcidiih t o t- Vtv t 'n. tfnniyliouHhnMn.nicJjfor cold-i .tir thopiift ttvfiity4tYiu .urn, oiul haa never Lnoa ft tt fall in etlrrtiu a cure. U H Ci.nmcrii. WHUaiiwtme, N. Y. For thirty jcir- I u-tt J'ain Killer, and fiiiud It i nuu..t.iiliiiif rumdy for folds and sore tbix.it UviirifJ Have rco hwl lnmutl itc itlitf from rolun and p'lfo tbri't i in I c 'liMder your I'ain Killu au liui.btl.ljuiiK'dy. Ui.M.li.KvtiiETT, UicklUKon, N. V. I lii lit inmrcit from fl trv (-epro cold, vrliUh 1 j v h d fir Hiim time, I could jrft no reiki until t tried our Iain Killlh, uluVh rolcctl fie buiuedi dily. I will nevir ugaiu bo Without tt (. 1'ouok. LoMhiicn, Oa, llne ,i e1 1'un Kilt.kii Id my futility for forty cvh mid h c ne.er known It to fail. Hanhoh Lnvvi, ijue Hn, (lu, I )-ntniilii'.l'MN Kii.i.rn In mv family tucnty the year iiim nnd h wo med Uetrhine,urt hao foiind no mtdii'iue to t'tke iU il.tcv. U.W. tYEn, Uunorl.t, (iiitldi N. Y. J or wIkni iiik'ourh i nd croup It Is the tcft ren. r t!n nr do. wci.ld not bo without It A l I'tuisIdU-rty S.11N. u. t- r tentrf jcjiw I hue UM'd TxiNKtLLEn forrnlJm'nd tlini'd h H(rndcoiihitlerittlielett nuilklitccvt-roijiml -(liu llnorMt.VulmliiKtou, N. O. I wiit f,r( rim." cm rc ly , itli bronchHK nnd my thro it w.ih o tiiflHUic 1 1 toud unruly kwhIIot i uvf.iod I uahnhihul to tiy jour 1'ais Kii.li n, i nd utter t lltix ii lev doits wom coiui'lctcly i n red it,iiiNov, I'r. uiittfrriu Coi-hodon- Yourl'Als K:r lkm em iv di bthitlu i nd torftliroot,onlann tut'ly i'1-u. lent lieiv, 1 1 d him not len Known to I d n . in-j-lo nirUiM'. Tliir feet jou tlioMld l.i.iku kim.in t the noild Mw. ri.T.rs' It Mash wrlteK- My i-on wantalpn i'-lutU- f ik u:tti diKi'tl.erl'i.luVh feer, and cold ihilN. So m my thildrui luve dltd here, I wus ffr.t d tJ iull a hj-ieian, ond trleil jour Pais KiLt.Fit. lie wtit tJiken on Kundiiy, und on Wwlne-dtv IiIh throat was tlenr. It wan a won. ile i fid run, nnd I wlt-h It could bo known to tho intor inntheM w ho arj loniiik' -o many childreu. For Chills and Fever PA IN K I LLKU has n ii mi 1. It tur( when everything idse rails. D'l.us aro olteii danemus. A bottle of Pun Kii.leiHu the houwls a &afeguard that no family should 1k wlttout. AU dnitfULa bell It at 3c, 30cM and 81.00 per bottle. PERRY DAVIS Sc SON, Proprietors, Providence, R. I STRONG FACTS! A great many people arc askirg what particular troubles Crown's Iron IIutlks is good for. It will cure Heart Disease, Paral ysis, Dropsy, Kidney Disease, Con sumption, Dyspepsia, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, and all similar diseases. Its wonderful curative power is simply because it purifies and en riches the blood, thus beginning nt the foundation, anil by building up the system, drives out all disease. A Lady Cured of Rheumatism. Baltimore, MJ., May 7, iC3). M y lieallli w as much Oulttcred by UheumatMn when I cummenccl taking Uruuii' Irun Bitters, nnd I scarcely liad ttrcuzlh cnuucU lo at tend to my dally household duties. 1 am now using the third buttle nnd 1 tini regaining strength daily, bi.d 1 chcerlully iccommcnd It tu all. 1 cannot say too much in praise tflc. Mrs. Maiiv I'.. BiiAsurAii, 173 Prcstiuanit. Kidney Disease Cured. Christiansuurg, Va., 18S1. RuITerlng from kidney disease, from which I could get no relief, 1 tried Brown's Iron Bitters, which cured me completely. A child of mine, recovering from scarlet fever, had no uppctiie and did not seem to be able lo cat at all. 1 gave him Iron Bitters with the happiest results, J. KLU MuKlAll'U. Heart Disease. Vine St,,IIarrisburg, Pa. Dec. , ibSi. After trying diflcrcnt physicians and many remedies frr palpitation tf the heart without receiving any benefit, 1 was advised totry Brown's Iron Bitters. 1 have used two hot. ties and never found anything that gave me to much relief. Mrs. Juriis lUss. Tor the peculiar troubles to which ladies are subject, IIrown's Iron lllTTURS is invaluable, Try it. Be suroand get tho Genuine, AINMtlOHT As CO., wioij'SALi: anocms . PlIIUDKMillA TKAH, SYItUFd, C07FKB, SUOAlt, MOL VSSKa, KICK, 1'1CB3. UICIKB 601U, AC., &0, H. B. Corner Second und Arch streets. tOrders will receive prompt attention, THIS PANTACiltATI! JlINDKIt. FOU 8AI.K ONI VAT "THE CObUAIHIAK" OFFIOK. CALL and ski:. hthena Poetical. mi, n.uiit-nmmi lino.', wIimi Mil nlirlit-w lal cl ip;otl IU win;, And sliu .k t'i'i wi'i'l im .in 1 rjif, I lK'anl tho xuula uf li.itiln kn'f llrlvuby In cln'lilnrf r if I Koinetlin?!!, n rutilo strife It kupt, (if winter night's. In n'cutcil lri'i'81 tir uniliTi.i'.ilh Ihu i ntM It crept A sw.irm of iniirtnurlng b.'ci. or, now, w II j I.Miitsmoa of tho air In hollow cIiisb lli"lr hugl'.-s blew, V lillo K.illtu'. r tvuoj isnil UI II-top buru Tlic lirll.o'ced ! lurrj llevf. M .ini-llmoi I liar.l of lovem Uown, S.f j, under ward of htorm und tiliflit, To nlieiu. in s)lr,ni lili,'f, thrru tlion A taper k nd and brlitlit, 'I hi'Si things thu nlgliMvInd used lo tell, And Mill would tell, If I mlff.it boar ; Hut Honow sleeps too sound and well To b nd a di painful enr. Iililh M Thmid.', in llie Midwinter Cen tury. THUBXIIUY. ( Ii sweet arc tl.c scents and rones of Spring, And bruvo are tha Summer flowers, An 1 clitll aro tho Autumn winds tint bilric The Winter's Hireling hours. And thu world trues round and ro'.nd, And Ihu sun i-Inks Into the sea; And wlieth r I'm on or under tho ground, The world caroa Uttlo fcr mo 1 h i haw k sails over the hill ; Tno brouk stiolls In ihi (bade; Hut fio fi lends I iaic lunt lie eotd und still Whero these stricken forms were Uid j And tint world goes round and round. And Ilia sun slldis Into the sea; nd whether I'm on or under the ground, The world caies little for rr.e, u, life, why art tnou ai brlcht a bocn 1 t). breath, why nrt thou so sweet! i , f rlcufB, how can you forget so soon 'I ho loved ones that He at tur feet I Hut tho world goes rouad and round, And the sun drop Into tho sea, And whether I'm ou or uud;r llie ground, TUe world ca'cj llttlo f jr me. Tho wsy j of men aro busy and bright ; 1 ho eyes of women aro Kin I, It Is sw.-et for Hi ; eyes to bt li 'Id tho light, Uut the d) Ins and the dead are blind. And the world gets iour.il nnd round, And tho bun falls Into tho son, And whether I'm on or under the gro ind, Tho world cares little for me. Hut It nro awake, &ii will lout cease, On tho future's distant shoie, And the rose of lovo nnd Iho Illy of peaco Shall bloom then for evei more, It the world go round and round ! And tho sun slpk Into tho km, for whether I'm on or under Iho ground, OH, what will It muter t) mj. J. (1. llou.iM), JEPPBSSOMIAN DEMOCRACY. i.errint i'kom .iamt.s i'aktox.tiik Airnioit. Nnwiicitvi'oitT, M,ss., ) Fib. i:i, 1882. I" ClIVf.NOIlV R IJi.ack, ICmj. Di.au Sue-I accept with gratitude iho honor done inc liy the .Icffciscni Di'inocrntio Associatiim of Yoik in ad ding my name to then- list of honoraiy ini'iiibt'iH. I thank jou also, both for the documents aivoiniianying your letter and for ihu ngricnhlu manner in which you coiniiuiiiic.'itc the action of your As sociation. Kor many years I havo wislied to see the Democratic jmrty ro-crcatcd in tho sjiirit of its illusti ions founder and of his worthy colleagues,Madison and (lallatin. I have, nevertheless voted with the Re publican party from its organization. and I do not doubt that mi immense majority of its members and of its leaders are honest and patriotic men. On ovtry national issue except ono (the extension of slavery) tho Demo cratic p.irty seems to lmvo been sub stantially right ; but, in the c mrsc of time that one issue became all-impor-tnnt, so that every other interest had to stand aside until it was settled. Happily, by the union of patiiotic men of all parties, that terrible question is forever at rest, and the time scetm now ipo for evival ot the miiiiiUi iintl migiil liuii- ciples which tiiuinphod in 180'J. iNot that we slioulil tollow 1 homas Jefltrson.or any other man.wilh thought less devoiion. JflTerson and his col leagues weru sullicient for their own days ; but no man, and no group of men, c.n bo suflicieiit fur all days. New qui s- tinns nro upon us new (langers.aiul new dilhcullies ; ami we have to ak our selvts, not merely what JefTeison did in his time, but what he would be likely to attempt or advise if he were now present among us 1 think, lor cue, that he would be a Civil Seivice liofoimcr,. because the Spoils System is not Democratic. It sa vols ot personal government, which ho hated. 1 think In- would he a more pos itive and sweeping Free Tiador nven than lie was in Ids own lifetime; and yet lie would probably not desire to )ro ci'jitato Free Trade, and unsettle in a inoini ut tho woik of sit-vears. Ho would wish laihtr to iiroceid cautiously, but unswei vingly, having in view tho to tal, but not sudden, extirpation of tho protective system. 1 think, too, that ho would endeavor to ninedv an inconvenience from which every president of tho United States has suffered ; an inconvenience resiiltiui' from tho inadequate coiimcnsat ion of tho higher otlicers of go eminent. A king can git any man to seivo him, because tho king can oiler to tho most valuable man his inrnki t price, while a president of the United Statu, lepicseiitiug tho lichist (liiployer in tho world, has an extieiuely limited range of choice, be cause he cannot make it possible fur poor men to accept ilillicult situations with out doing violeneo to their own interests hen President .lelleison asked .lames Monroe to procectl.upon short notice, to l'aris, to negotiate for tho purchase of Louisiana, lie lamented that ho could not offer him just compensation, such as a nicichaut or a coiporation would givo(for apiivato 6ervicool eoi responding impor tance. When tho negotiation was nt end bv which tho United States obtained an acquisition of territory mora important to it than any country has ever yet pinna nently obtained by conquest, Mr Mon rooiotired only to render otlier uratui tons services, nnd to end fifty years of iirduouu public life in insolvency and de pendence How (lifToiont tho fate of tho negotiator emnloyed by tho Emperor xsapoieon lor tho tow days service ren derail by him without IcaviiiK homo ! For that slnglo act Napoleon Hindu M, do .Mnrliois it present ol ueaily torty-thous ami dollars. Thomas Jefferson never couteniiilntei: a L'oveinnicnt either of millionaires or iioor devils j nor politics controlled by bosses assisted by pugilists and bar kcepeis. Ho wished to see at tho head of goveinminta llie (lower of tho human race. IIo wished to bco cities governed by men who had proved their capability by having succeeded in business for tl'icin-ieUcs. Wo can tell with certainly what kind of men he would now wish to see in oll'ur, whether federal, state, or municipal, by recalling the mon chosen by himself when ho held the appointing power. Kvoiy member of his cabinet was a liberally educated man, and lie chose persons of proved ability for em ployments demanding mi'ii of business. Ho hated the hereditary principle bj cause, as ho said, "It iikait.ii impoii tanck t'l'ox liuors." The Bo sysloni does the same, and hence, I am bound to conclude, ho would havo tinted that, if he had lived sec it developed. I wish your Society great prosperity and success. Thomas Jefferson be queathed to us immoital piinciples : it is our humbler part to create methods for giving those principles effect. Tho na tiion has not becomo corrupt; it has simply grown very largo and very licli. Wo have to adjust our politics to larger conditions, and apply .TefTersoninn prin ciples to tho government of a vast and glowing empire. In this arduous work I trust your Society will bear a part. Respectfully Your , .Ta.mi:s 1'AitroN'. At a regular meeting of t lie .TelTeixm Democratic Association of York,Feb. 188:.', it was resolved ; That this Association desires and in vites the fullest and freest discussion of tho doctrines of Thomas Jefferson ; that wo hail it, with pleasure, from whateyer source it may come ; whether from the friends of Federal consolidation, or tho advocates of local liberty ; whether from Federalistimperialist, so-called Re publican or honet Democrat; relying lirmly,as did Mr. .lellersou himself, upon tho virtue and intelligence of tho people, ceitain that whenever tho Issue between tho blessings of homo rule, and the dead ly evils of centralization shall bo fa'nly understood, they will decide promptly and wisely as they did in tho years 1800 and KS70. Wo gratefully acknowledge the able and interesting letter which Mr. l'arton, the distinguished biographer of Jeffer son, lias kindly added to the literaturo of tho Association, and wo commend it to tho thoughtful attention of men of all patties, who arc prepared to sacrifice merely partisan considerations, and sever merely partisan ties, to save the Consti tulion 178" from threatened subversion, and tho erection of what is euphemisti cally called a "strong government" on tho ruins. Rut whilo we heartily concur in the main with Mr. I'arton's deductions from the system of Jefferson, and admire his lucid and forcible application of funda mental principles to the exisiiiigsituation, wo aro not to lie understood as agreeing witli him throughout. Wo hold, for in "tance.and we believe Mr. Jefferson, who maintained that frugality, economy and simplicity, were the great essentials of republican government, would havo held with us, ttiat our public servants arc as a rule well paid. Wo got better, more faithful, anil more honest service from them, when salaiies were low,lhan since they havo bocn raised in the general rot of Federal centralization and extrava gance ; and if we wero called upon to vote for a change, wo would favor, not an increase, but a reduction. That Mr. Jefferson in the single isolated oaso of Mr. Monroe, regretted his inability to compensato him for an cxtraoidinary public service performed at an extraordi nary private saoritice, is true; but it does not follow that ho even then con sidered the ordinary pay of public olli cials for ordinary services less than it ought to havo been. It was in those days of Jeffersoniau siinplicity,and truly republican salaries, that men stood ready to nerve the country at a private loss. Wo see nothing like it now; when salaries have grown largo .enough to tempt cupidity, and ollices aro made the spoils and rewards of paitisan work. In stead of that spectacle Jefferson ad juiing Monroo to go and servo his coun try, piuetically without pay, we see a Federalist Congress voting a retired civil ian, already overloaded with gratuilies,a tiieie gift of ten thousand dollars an mally, instead ot directing proper pro ceedings to bo instituted for tho recovery of one hundred thousand dollars wrong fully received bv him, as l'residuilial salary.nnder color of an infamous statute passed in flagrant defiance of the Con- stitulioii, nnd signed by.this, the chief, beneliciary. Wo hold with Mr. Parton that Mr. Jefferson would have approached the liflicult question of tariff refoim in a onservativo spirit, keeping in constant vie v tho general good ot tho whole coui. tryand not llie particular interests of a few owners of capital invested in ceitain ar tificially stimulated industries. We think, howevcr.'thnt Mr. Jefferson was rather a fair trader than a free trader. His leading principles on this subject might bo form. mated thus: Congress mav do that which is necessary for tho general wel fare. as for defense in war and to that ond might impose a customs duty, pro tective and even prohibitory in charac ter, if tho object thereof wero to render the United States ns a nation, indepen dent of foreign nations, in tho matter of warlike supplies. Rut Congress may not under the plea ot ouuding up desira ble industrieu," levy, either dirtctly or indirectly, a tribute upon tho whole peo ple, which does not reach tho Treasury, mi which passes, as a mere bounty, into the pockets ot a lavored lew. When AS.. II !l. 1.1 r .hi. .-i.iiiiiiiuii iuiiiuuiiceu uio reverse oi mis iiiopusiuoii iii iiiseeiemateii uepon on Manufactures, Mr. Jefferson accepted .1.! !.! !.. 1 11 . 11..I.., . . I IHO 1SS110 nsa Vliai one, mill llltonned rresideni asiiiiigton, that m his judg inent, it involvo.l nothing less than thu ,uwoiiuu nnuii viu in me -tinner a iiiiiiteii or unlimited government. Rut tor iiidepeiieU'iice, tor ilelense, for inter- miuouai justice, uu ueiioved in tho con stitutional power of tho United States, to lay discriminating duties, and to go oven to tho length of embargo, tho last measure short of war. It is clear that no man, of his day, did so much to ndvoueo thoilomestio manufactures of his country . f r re . . i. .t as .u r. jciicrson ; ami lo uns end ho u cited himself equally in both his public and private capacity. Ho preferred to rise tho necessary revenues of the general government from custom sduties, wisely adjusted to that object, rather than by direct taxation; and the Hist blow of his reform administration was at the inuiiis itorial system of internal revenue, elo Yt'iopoii uy ii. minion, nnu me largo cmps of needl- ss ollioeholders employed iif its execution. ....I 1 I 11 II. l ., , ' Rut this is n theme upon which weiiiittht pile line upon lino and precept upon pre cept from Mr. Jejferton, nnd still leave soino room forhoucot dilfeieitcesof opin ion ns to precisely what courso he would lako "were ho personally pioseiit among us." In Article II, of tho Constitution of this Association. ui iiresenl our men' statement of Jeffersoniau pi inciplcscoin I "You sco that item in ono of ttio pa pactly, but clearly, we hope, in so far as I '''" 1)0"t tamin' young alligators, I they seemed applicable to tho present sit nation, iho aiticlo is as lollows: "Its purpose shall bo tho Association of JolTersonian Democrats for tho preser vation of tho Constitution of tho United States, the autonomy of the Stntc, homo rule,freedom of elections, for rosistenco to revolutionary cliangos.lending to con soli elation or empire: to the election of any person to the Presidency a ttiird term; to the pitseiieo of troops nt tho polls; to tho appropriation ot public money lor nny purpose hut the support of govern nient ; to commercial restrictions for tho benefit of the few at tho cost of many ; and to class legislation, which destroys tho natural freedom of traile,and despoils labor to build up monopoly. To these ends wo invoke the spirit and reassert tho principles of Thomas Jcffei son, tho author of tho Declaration of Indepcml once and the founder of the Democratic Patty." Upon this declaration we stand, and upon this, tho slavery question being, as Mr. Pat ton remarks happily and forever settled, wo believe that all friends of pure 1.1! 1!.. - 1 ... .1. iiqmuiiciiii govcriimeiir, million oy mo wise safeguards of the written constitu tion, must ultimately come to stand witli us whatever may have been their pre vious party relationship. V. I1. Jji.ack, rresiilent. Jamks A. Ri.Assmt, Secretary. Snake Di'slrnyprs. Rirds aro perhaps tho greatest snake lestrovers, especially certain families of them. Even small insectivorous birds will devour a tiny reptile as readily as a worm ivheii they lind one-, and storks, falcons, pelicans, cranes and some vul tures nro always on tho lookout for this special favorite. The secretary bird, iSerpciitarius reptilinorous, owes its scien tific name to this habit ; tho cassowary and suiibittern arc said to entertain a similar partiality, while peacocks aro so fond of snakes that they will actually de sert the homo where they are fed in a dis trict where these reptiles aro plentiful. A well known I.omljn banker purchased a small island on the west coast of Scot land some time ago: no attempt at culti vation had been made there, and it was uninhabited save by sea birds and vipers. That tho latter should have swarmed in such abundaueie in a situation so far north and isolated from the mainland is certainly remaikab'.o; but there they were in force so strong that tho banker found his newly acquired territory quite unavailable for the purpose ho had in tended it a shooting and lishing station in summer. Acting under advice, ho pro cured six pairs of pea fo.vl and turned them loose on tho island, which they very soon cleared of its unwelcome- ton ants, or at any rate reduced their number to such an extent that the remainder could be evicted without much danger or difficulty. Almost any bird will at tack a snake of suitable si.o (of course it is not to be expected that a lark will swal low a boaconstrictor,) and it is a curious thing that they eat venomous or noti venomous species indiscriminately. They appear to first disable it by a sharp blow with the beak on the spine, then kill it by successive pecks and shakings which eiislocate the vertebite, and finally trans fix the head ; then gobble it down. Tho presence of the venom in the bird'suuin jured stomach would do it no harm, but one would have supposed that the shaip fangs or broken bones projecting through the mangled skin in its passage down must sometimes cause excoriations of the mucous membrane, and thus provide a means of inoculation oven if tho aggres sor did not get bitten in tho combat. Neither accident, however, has been ob served to occur by those who have re- iieaueniy watched the operations, l'igs aro tremendous fellows for snakes too. i uev, as wen as peaceniks, nave t lono good service in ridding entire islands of dangerous pests: and it is said that Mauritius was cleared of poisonous rep tiles by the wild hogs which were un polled there in the first instance, and have now spread over tho island. A lit tle lame silver fox, belonging to tho writer, got hold of a dead whip-snako which was hung up in tho shade of the veranda awaiting dissection; it was about eight teel long, but no thicker than an ordinary lead pencil, and tho bushy little gourmand was meditatively absoibing it lengthwise, like an Italian sgherro swallowing his string of macca roni. This fox had been brought up on farinaceous diet and bread 'fruit, of which ho was very fond, and thisexperi inent of his in opiophagy was seized upon as a proof of tho hereditary instinc tive craving of his carnivorous nature for the animal food ho had never known, u theory which was abandoned shortly afterward when it was discovered that ho had been in the habit of- stealing chickens from his birth. Tho mongoose is a noted serpeuticide, and effects its purpose) solely by tho agility it displays in rushing in and gripping its adversary by tho neck while dexterously avoiding tho blow, not by any immunity from tho consequences of a venomous bite which it has been supposed to enjoy, nor from tho antidotal results of eating a heib or root of its own seeking, which tho popu- tar prefereuco of mysticism to a common iilnco explanation has decided ought to be and therefore is the c.tso. Mou L'OOsch havo been xitliiei'.ti.il in tin. (hihn I e - . . . . . " oi a serpent and havo died wii i lii-eeisn ly the same unroiiiaiitio train of symptoms . that would manifest themselves in other ' animu s, mill havo mom tlmn mien l.ni.n , killed, whi'o under observation, in tho ; courso of a light with a eleadly snake, in meir wild suite and surrounded by tno vegetation among which thoy exist. All the Year Hound. A SMAI.I, l'OX I'llllVI-.NTlVK, A ecu respondent sends tho following; 'There is no better or surer protection from small pox than lhrbys Prophylac tic riHiii las Hiiiaiiingus tate), a wonder till healing remedy mid most powerful """""'ln'l it will effectually eradi CiUo U,u ge,'!n ,?f ,,lai'asi' prevent itt HJ"'f1mll"K ettwt a cure, and is per- its e I' fcclly safe to use. ll is endorsed and recommended by and chemists. eminent physicians First Knglish gentleman (looking nt ....tl..nn.l .! ...1.1. A llllfll .. I 1 '"".in uiuu iiuue; "inn, wny no tney '' I1- Seeond Knglisli gentleman "That menus penny a mile." I'iM 'And what dots a. m, mean?" Second 'n by, 'apenny a mile, of course!" A Massachusetts baby has been born wiihoiii eyebaiis. its other bawls nr healthy. Taming an Alligator. reckon, said n Uravcsenil man, captur ing the cit editor by tho buttoiihokyiiitl drawing him into tho doorway. "You know the paper said it was the fash -nablo thing to do." ''I don't remember. Perhaps I did. What of iU" asked the city editor. "I tried it," said the Gravosend man. "A lriendof mine brought ono from New ()rleans,and I'm tamin' that alligator for tho children to play with." "How docs tho experiment conic along T" asked the editor. "I don't know about tho experiment t tiie alligator is tlirivin'. He was six weeks old when I got him three months ago, and he's seven years old now. Poo pie in our pnits says he's all tho alliga tor I'll ever need." "What does ho do t" "Well it's here. When ho c.imo he was a sportive little cuss and just wab bled around friendly. IIo was chit-fly mouth, and wo used to teed him for tho fun of secin' him eat. Now. we skin around when wo see him eoni'in for the fun of seein' him go hungry." "I ho dangerous?" asked tho city edi tor. "Is haven't 1 oin closo enough to seo. IIo nte ill) mv dog. and when I left this i - . . . . . I ho was in the stv arcuin tho (lucstion of pork as diet with tho nitf. Mv wife thinks if tho pic has any luck he 11 find tho cow we lost, ' "Retter get rid of him. hadn't vou !" suggested the city editor. V s . T. ...... I 1 elon t know, replied the Uravcscnd man. " e vo stored so much awav in him now that it seems liko givin' tin most our property, nnd my eldest girl says sho can't hear of bavin' her leg go out among strangers." 'JJid lie bite her leg oltT demanded .1... I if- 1 - II. me uomiicu city editor. - ouiei respiiiiiieu ine uraveseiiu man. "leok it olt short! Then there s the baby. Wo hate to part with tho baby s grave, so we sol ter try and keep die alligator along. My wife insists on keepin mm cos she thinks she saw a couple of peddlers go in one day, packs ;uiu an, aim sou s got uu uiea mo pacKS 1 -11 1 -..... L ! 1 - .1. . " 1 I may come to the front again if wo hold on. lscsiucs, sho seen that item nbout tamo alligators bein' fash'nabl?, and she's a good deal on style." "JJut do you call that alligator tame? "Lett n ly. Uo comes right to thehotise same's any of us and keeps himself. IIo's got mat neei, ami tno uravcscnd man to a mutilated foot. "There's mv son's wue, too. anc s part alligator now. lie oat her up a week ago and theboy hasn't got ocr his arm yet. The alligator got ine arm too. "Great Scott I' ejasulated the editor. "Oh, yes! Its lively down there, When he puts lumselt up lies busiues. He's tho lightcningest alligator for a . - .. . - - ... tame ono you over saw. When we first got lii ui. wo used him for a tack hammer, drew nails with him, but now he is the heat! of the family, except payin' th rent. When there is any mysterious disappearance around Gravosend tho coroner comes and views tho alligator. That ends it. When tho baby was snatched thoy held the inquest in a tree. Tho jury was all on one limb ami tho al ligator underneath looking up. Rimobv the limb broke, and tho jury disappeared in a row, just as they sat." Wo didn't wait for any verdict. 1 ho coroner gave mo a permit and after the funeral wo slued an empty cofliu at tho alligator, then tho minister said 'dust to dust, and wo an ousted. uo you remember whether that item said what a real tamo some little elistnnco ahead of mo, point alligator ought to bo fed on?" ing, as I thought, a long gun at some- "Uon t recollect seeing it at all. Aren't you afraid ho 11 eat up some more of your family?'' "think lies liablo to? asked the Gravosend man, with a curious exnres sion of visago "R" might. Suppose ho should get your wife ? Ah! said tho Graves-w'iul man. "IIo might get her, imghteiit he? ou think dbetler keep him then? and tho Gravozciid man leaned against the door and gave himself up to reflection. "So no might ; so lie might, the citv editor card Inm say, as ho drew away and left im there. "That beautiful voung tamo alligator may get her yet," and tho gloom f nightfall enveloped tho frame dilating wiiu a new nope. iirooan Jiagte. Towed by a Shark. Heading across tho bay lo St. Simon's ignt, tno man in charge ot tho wheel lailed Mr. Tift and directed his attention to something ahead of us. The obiect uu lieu out to oo a suai K s uu, so largo is to be a matter of wonder to tho sail ors aboard. Tho boat happened to bo irovided with a shark line a mnnilla cum iiuuui, u nan incil llilcK. with a i -i . i..f . i . , ... arge hook tied to a trace chain. A suiaii pieeo oi ooiii was .puckiy put Oil the hook, a float put on the lino anil then cast out, nuel then tho line made ii..- -,, ast to tho capstan. As wo neared tho lish tho fin disappeared and nil eagerly watciiod tho lloat. biiddenlv tho no tightened, tho lloat disappeared and tho noaiiway oi mo boat was checked and 1 1... mm. nl llin nn,,..,, ..,.ll.1 ..lr..'., hookedV ' ' " i nave been tuning, but 1 never saw uio iiko oi that. 1 ho lellow roso to tho suriace ot tno wavo and looked at us. no had about seventy live vnrds of lino out by this tune, and nctua iv in a bco oiiti no niauo a rusii ami jumped clear over tno uow oi uio steamer. Tho Indies .i i..ii.. i , men nut uimer biit'iter uuei an nanus helped to hold that line. Tho fellow, when ho failed to eat us up, made for tno ocean and lairly made thu waters loam. Alter about a mile s run ho be gr.n to tiro and tho boat was headed for tho beach on Jekel Island, (irnriunllv wo pulled in tho lino until tho boat touched tho beach, and then ono of thu a . hands waded ashore, taking tho end of tho lino with htm, which ho made fast to a stump and camo for help. v our oi us got on siioro and com menced to pull Mr. bhaik on shore. It took all wo could do, and two rillo balls to boot, to land him When I tell vou thnt ho measured seventeen feet ten and a half inches from tip to tip you will know what a job wo had. Wo deter mined to prove that wo caught this shark so wo gave two negroes $1 to cut bun open and get his head olf, so that wo could get ills jaw over home'. His teeth nro wonderful, being nbout three and a quarter inches long nnd so stiong that ho actually flattened out tho hie? iron nook, tho negroes made em to - o prize, lu his stomach Ihtv found eleven stiver .Mexican dollars mid ono Spanish . . .. I1 eloiibloon, gold, and a wholo lot brass buttons. lin Wouldn't Have It. A boy owned a stalwart gander, nnd ho thought it would bo n good joko to tio a fish line to ttio leg of the gander, with a hook properly baited, and watch tho result. So ho fixed ttio gander witli a line on ono log nbout ten feet long, nt tho end of which was a pickerel hook nnd a frog for bait Tho gander was driven into the mill pond, where ho swam around for half nn hour, turning flip flaps, and diving for food. Sudden ly tho gander felt a pull at his leg, nnd ho looked ns surprised nsthc"I..ono Fisher man" when he caught a wliale. Tho gan der seemed to think there was something tho matter with him, anil lie looked down at his feet under water to try and see into it. Tho pickerel began to vnnk, and tho gander made up his mind ttiat lie was not well and wanted to go homo. IIo started for the shore, but tho pickerel on the hook wanted to go the othor way, and it was nip and tuck for a time. Tho gander, to those on shore who were watching, seemed frightened, and at times would net as though saying his prayers and asking for mercy, and then lie would get mad and try nnd liy ashore, when tho pickerel would pull him back. They say it was a lino study to watcli tho oxnrcssion on tho features of the gander. He seemed to realize that a change was nbout to come over him, and ...v'. . . - win o ho honed for the best, ho seemed to bo prepared for tho worst. After half an hour of the hardest work ho had ever done, tho gander camo ashore, and dractred n six-pound pickerel up the bank, nnd tho boys camo and took off - ' . tho pickerel and put on another lrog, nnei tried to induce tho gander to go nnu tnke another swim, but ho wouldn't havo it. Tlioy couleln t drive- him in. IIo looked at them as ho ran through between their legs ns though saying, "Rovs, this mav bo fun lor you, but you I, , -. " ,1 - -VT-.i nave crtisuctl a nomo nature, ioi, any inorc piCKcrei in mine', ii you piease, and ho new olt toward tho barn, squamo ing as though his heart would break. This was several weeks ago, but since then the gander has never gone into the water. -, . . . 1110 crowd gaiiicred togetner on mm day at San Gabriel, Tex., wero nativss of many different States, and told jokes at the expenso of Arkansas, "tar heels" and others. One North Carolinian got after the half-dozen Arknnsans hot and heavv. With other varus ho told tho following: An emigrant preacher went into the Roston mountain region on a nrospectinc tour. Coming to a four- acre corn patch, lie fought Ins way through a dozen or more hounds nnd curs to a windowless cabin in its centre, and enterincr lie commenced a conversa- tion witli tho lady of the house by in- ouirinor info tho state of society there- cj . s abonls. Tho woman did not seem to understand hit. general inquiries, so lie began to particularize "what religion is most common around here ?" Still sho did not seem to understand. "Aro there mauy Presbyterians arounel hero? ho asked. "I don't know,'' sho said. "My man John has hunted around hero right smart tor nigh on to sixteen years, and i don t reckon Be a killed ary one. "Ah, madam!" said the good man, "I'm afraid vou live in darkness here." ''Yes," bIio replied, glancing at the unbroken log walls, "yi out a winder es, but .lohn allows to cut next week." This was re ceived with applause, nnd a truc-bluo Arkansan had tho floor for ronlv. "I was travelling once in tho old North State, ho began, "and as I was riding across an opening like, i saw a man thinrr un in a persimmon trco. I reined up my horso to wait for him to fire. uer waiting some time and no linng done I noticed the man did not seem to be taking any sight, but appeared lo bo shifting Vis piece from time to time, so 1 hailed him nnd asked him what ho was uji to. 'Raising pork for market,' an swered he, without turning to mo. I rode up, and that tar-heel had a littlo spotted shoat tied to a pole, holding it up to eat persimmons. Uhicago AVics. Odd Items. A fashion writer savs: "Short skirts are do riguer for dancing." Rv this a girl will know how to rigiieurst'lf for a ban. Cincinnati is so wild over music that a saloon with a hand organ is known ns an opera house. A New Orleans man lias contrived to frec.o an ear, and the town is awfully stuck up about it. Dots a man become a brute when his head becomes a little bare? or when a thought is nbrewin' iu his brain? (.Inter ucean. Although chickens aro born in shells thoy never become good oarsmen. Ono man in Missouri has had legal pa- pers hcrvcei on mm ny eleven itinerant Sheriffs. He seems to bo an uuwilliii! i i - . autograph collector. P. I, Man. Rrooklyn man advertises a powder -Clll o cats illlll liogs 01 KOlIinamUUIlSlll. 411 - . .. 11 P , , ,1 It is put in a gun. "ine sassyest man 1 ever met, savs Josu isiiiings, -is n Henpecked husband when no is away trom home.' "There is nothing liko settling down." said tho retired merchant confidentially to his neighbor. "When I gave up bus iness I settled down and found I hnd n comfortable fortuui If I had settled up I should not havo had a cent." St. Louis has a policeman named ligg. His yolk is easy, and his friends say ho liasu t a ht'ii einv in this world. A Digger Indian had n sand bank cavo m 0,1(1 bury him, and it took his "I A .1 A 1! T T squart- two tlays to Digger Indinu out. There- nro no less than nineteen "Raid Mountains" in thu United States. When a mountain begins to shed its hair there's no cure for it. N. Y. Mail and Fx- press. If tho icsthetcs discover beautv in everything peihaps thoy would bo good enough to discover beauty in a gas bill. A correspondent desires to know if "fishballs are considered wholesomo food." Certainly, but partridges nro equally ns good. Wo know families who never nto llshballs that are in splendid iieaiiu. Tho laziest boy exists in Dnnbui v. lhi. mother sent him to a neighbor's n lumso atter a cup ot sour milk. On be I inir told that there was noro but gweet I I.,. , . . . , . . "i'K 1 ut-' 0'. be helped himself to a of I chair, and said i "Well, I'll wait till it isouis.