SUPPLEMENT TO THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBURG, PENN'A. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16, '81. A little girl who was much petted Haul: "I like sitting on gentlemen's knees hot tcr than on ladies' ; don't you, in:i I" "Hrown do you know why you arc liku a donkey?" "Like a donkey t" echoed Hrown opening his eyes wide. "No. I don't." "Do you give it up t" "1 do." UccatiNO your better half is stub-! bornness itself." "That's not bad. 11a, ha ! I'll givo that to my wife when I get home." "Mrs. Hrown," he asked, as he sat down to supper, "do you know why t i.l 1 1 alt TT t i am iikc a uoiiKey i no waueu a mo-i nient, expecting his wife to givo it up. Hut she didn't. .She looked at him some what cominiseratingly as she answered, "I suppose because you were born one." oOO overcoats to select from utl Lowenberg's. I CLOTHING DEPARTMENT. "Sweet sixteen" must take a back seat, as the Americans say. The (esthetes declare that the quite too-too ago of quiv-i ering sensibility and sudden sympathy is two-find twenty. It is impossible, they say,to be ''utterly-utter," before that age. For a nobby suit go to Low enberg's. "Yes, gentlemen, ccrtainly,of course," said a polite clothier, "if you want a pair of pants, step right up to my pantry, if a vest, walk right into my vestry : and if a coat here, Jacob, show this gentle man into the coterie. This way gentle men, this way." For a, new style bat go to Lowenberg's. One of the young men belonging to a choir had his hair cut by a generous bar ber, Saturday. Sunday lie sang for a solo, "Cover my defenceless head," and blushed like a lobster while doing it. Seal skin caps at Lowenberg's. "Jane," said he, "I think if you lifted your feet away from the lire, we might have some heat in the room." And they hadn't been married two years either. Fur collars at Lowenberg's. DEPARTMENT. Hat & Cap Depart incut SHIRT Department The NECKTIE Department The minister was telling the story of Mary Magdalene to the children, and when he had finished, ho wished to ascor-j tain if they had been listening attentive- MISCELLANEOUS ly, so he asked: "Now, children, what! did Mary have '.'" Hilly (ireen yelled out,! "Mary had a little lamb," aud the minis tor told old Green, and when Hilly got homo he had one, too. I Department Pretty suits for boys at Lowen- berg's They had been engaged for a long tune, and one evening were reading the paper together. "Look ! love," he ex-! elaimed,"only thirty dollars for a splen. did snitof clothes!" "Is it a weddiugsuit?' she asked, looking naively at her lover. "Oh, no," he answered : "it's a business suit!" "Well, I meant business," she replied. And he bought a new suit at Lowenberg's. I A sentimental editor says : "It is com forting to know that ono eye watches I fondly for our coming,aud looks brighte when wo come." A contemporary i moved to learn that his "brother of die quill has n wife with one eye. Suits made up Lowenberg's. in city style at Watch A Jewelry Department XMAS Bargains. WJfcKi'M I 1000 Mm mmi S j lm'iiag She MOLI DAVS ill TfeePOTBLAB (WI'bllM STORE of Columbia Ctoiuify to buy the bargains in fJlothin now ollcrcd. The finest lasae f consisting of Suits, Overcoats, Ulsters, Enc- isii v suiting ;oais tor mien, Boys and Children. A large stock of Hnglish, Scotch Cassi meres. A variety of Imported and Domes tic Suitings, Worsted Cloths, ISeavers, Ac, any of which will he made ub in CiTY ST VI, 10. I now replete with the Cutest Styles in Stiff and Soft, Fine. Fur and Wool HATS. Sealskin, Skating and Driving CAPS, for men, Hoys and Children. thf BICYCLE SHIRT, Fine, ISlue FianneS, Casshncrcs and a full line of Colored Shirts. The celebrated PEARL, SHIRT always on hand. Always full of the Batest MOVKiriFS for CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS. Fine Mntilers, tine Hosiery, tine Silk Handkerchiefs, tine JSeaver Collars, Ccloves for dress anoS driving, tine Trunks, Valises, Satchels, Vc. American Watches always in stock in Oold and Silver and cheaper than ever. Call and be convinced for yourselves, that the largest stock to select trom is always on hand at D. JLOWJENJBEltft'S. Caill and see, coine and be convinced, that we are now prepared to sell you cheapei than ever at A HOT HIDE. Schenectady man's oxDerieuce while coasting in a scoop shovel, making tho lust cut time on record, in thus related : Not many evenings ago, a well known resident of this citv. accompanied bv his ft " wife and a steel bcooii shovel, was iour- k. t neying down town from Pago Hill, when, upon arriving at the summit of the Ham ilton etreet hill which was a glare of ice from summit to foot the man jok ingly remarked to the lady that "it wouldn't be a bad idea to ride in the shovel." "You couldn't," said tho woman. "Pshaw 1" Yes I could. I could go." and to illustrate he straddled the handle, which he grasped with both hands, and carefully seated himself iu the shovel. 'Then raising his feet he showed how ho could "steer himself, and said "I could go just ns easy as anything." "Why, so you could." acauiesced his wife, and then giving him a sudden shove, she added : "aud there you go." Hamilton street hill is the steeliest, the 4 icest and "slipperiest" of all Schenoetady hills, and the way the scoop shovel took that man down was a sight t be hold. The fatuous lightning express trains were slow pokes in comparison to that scoop shovel. So fast did it travel that in less than tu o seconds time both shovel and man had disappeared from view of the wife. Hut a second later she was startled by seeing what appeared to be a ball of fire rushing at a lightning speed toward the toot ot the lull, and although considera bly frightened, the woman managed to descend the hill and instituted a search for her husband. ! She found the shovel, which lav appa rently exhausted in a small puddle of melted snow. A short distance fiirthershe discovered he r poor husband seated in a snow-bank and groaning terribly. Even in the larkness she noted the erpresMou of agony upon his face. , "Maria, he murmured, "my Sunday pants nre ruined." Isot another word was t.nokeu. but ft when the shovel had become Bufliciently cool, they started for home carefully selecting the darker sides of the least frequented streets. The man went directly to bed aud his toes were turned toward the springs. i he shovel has recovered, but the man still stands up during meal time. The latest stvle of neck-wear always on hand at Lowenberg's. A doctor recently restored the speech of a woman w'.m had been dumb for seven years, and the last seen of him he was sitting on a rail fence picking the buckshot out of his head, while tho in furiated husband was hustliug toward home to reload his gun. Pretty overcoats tor children at Lowenberg's. He had given Ids daughter a new opera hat, and she called him par-ex-excellence. THE OLD RELIABLE CLOTHING TORE DAW i OIF ID LOWENBERC. A young mother in Cincinnati was giving to her son, aged R years, a touch ing description of the misery into which the prodigal son had fallen. "Far away from homu and his kind father, obliged to take care of swine with uothiug to cat but the husks of corn left by thorn." "Then why didn't ho eat the pigs?" was the practical reply of the young Pork opolitau. Fine Underwear at Lowenberg's.