T11J3 COLUMBIAN.
niMBlA DM0CB4T,TllOrTn north and cptrjii.
OLC SIAHOOHSOUOA-ID.)
Hsuod weekly, every Friday morning, at
iiLooMsnumi, Columbia county, pa.
,, , wo dollars per year, M conta discount allowed
mr wl" charged. To "ubscrllicrs out if the
1L: tnrm nrn it nor vnnr.strlettv In iwirnnm
"3.. ,,,- discont I num. oxcent at t ho oni Inn or i he;
mibll siiers, until all arrearages aro paid, but long
??J ?. . , .;. Credits aficr Iho cxnlrat on or tho
Ir. ar mil not iio Riven,
Ail nane" sent out of tho Htato or to distant post
.......A ,nt l,n oald for In advance unions a rrsnnn.
,iwe person In Columbia county assumes to pay tho
posTAUB Is nolongcr exacted from subscribersln
ho county.
job 3?S,I3STXI3SrC3-.
tub Jobbttg Department of tho Colombian Is very
lompietc, and our .J U Printing will eomparo favora-
, lcmand.neatly and at moderate prlcea. j
..... wiiii ti.qi.nr ino inruu i-men. a wurKaonnnn
Columbia County Official Directory.
President Judgo-Wllllam Kiwcll.
Vssoelato Judgcs-I. K Krlckbaum, F, I Bhuman.
protlionotnry. Ac.-NVllllam Krlckbaum.
lotirt uteiiorapiier-s. N. Walker.
ii in r iipnnrdor Williamson II. Jacoby.
outriotAttornoy-ltobert li. Ultle.
li rlir John w. Ilontnan.
h irv or -simusl Noyhard.
vt nur-r -ll A. iwoppenbcl&er.
t jinmHiloners Stephen l'oho, Charles lllchart.
Al V-ids rfcrs' Clerk -J. II. Casoy.
Aii lltors -s. II. Binltb, V. Manning, C. B. Sec-
'ju'rvCommtssloncrs-Iill Ilobblns, Theodoro W.
Tjui'tv M'inerlntondcnt-Wllllam II. Snyder.
Illouin Poor liistrlct-Plroctora-ll. 8. Knt, Scott,
win. Kramer, Bloomsburg nud Thomas Hcccc,
'coit.
Bloomsburg Official Directory.
President of Town Council O. A. Herring.
Clerk-Paul K. Wirt.
Chief of PoHco Jas. C. Sterner.
President of (las company S. Knorr.
secretary C. W. Atlller.
llloomsourir Hanking Company .Tohn A. Funston,
president, II. II. uroiz, Cashier, John Peacock, Tet-
Virst xailonal Hank Charles 11. Taxton, President
J. 1 . Tlisun, uuanier.
Columbia County Mutual Saving Fund and Loan
Assoclailon-K. II. Llttlo, President, c. w. Sillier,
Iilooinsburg llulldlny and Saving Fund Association
llloomsburg Mutual Saving Fund Association J.
Win. l eaciiCK, I reiut'iiL,.,. i nuuisuu, ocucuir.
iiu Asnucia
secretary.
J iirowcr, President, l". K. win,
CHUKCH DIHECTOKY.
BAPTIST ClICHCH.
ncv. J. P. Tustln, (Supply.)
Sunday Services lux a. m. and x p. m.
ui.nfl.iv Kohnnl 0 a. In.
Prayer Meetluj-Evcry Wednesday evening at 6f
seats free. Tho public aro Invited to attend.
ST. MATTnKW'S LCTnRRAN CUUKCIt.
Minister Kot. o. D. S. Marclay.
Sunday Services a. m. and in p. m.
unnrlftt Hfhnnl 0 a.m.
Prayer Meeilng-Evcry .Vednesday evening at TK
Seats free. Nopows rented. All aro welcome.
FRBSBYTKHtAN cnUHCU
Minister Itev. Stuart Mliohell.
Sunday Services lox a, m. and t p. ra.
pravcrMeoilng-Kvery Wednesday evening at e
clock. . M , I
Suniiay rcnooi u a. in.
seats free,
No pows rented. Strangers welcome.
MKTHODIST KrlSCOPAI. CHURCn.
Presiding Elder Hev. W. Evans.
Minister Kev. M. L. Smyser.
Sunday Servlccs-mx a1"1 aX P- m-
t.. uni.nnl 'J n m.
Iiible Wass-Every Monday evening at v o'clock.
Young Men's Prayer Mccilng-Every Tuesday
nn.inlni. nt Kl nVlnPlf.
oenernl Prayer Mcctlng-Evcry Thursday evening
7 0 C10CK.
BRFORMEP CnURCII.
Corner of TlUrd andVIron streets.
iJastor-ltev. W. E. Krebs.
nesider.ee Corner 4tlijini1 Catharine sprceta.
Sunday Services vx a. m. and I p. m.
sundav school 9 a. m.
Prayer Meeting-Saturday, 7 p. m.
All aro Invited There Is always room.
ST. PAUL'S CUCRCn.
Hector I!ev ! Zahner.
Sunday Services I0x a. ra., lit p. m.
y.mrlnir In ,Iia mnntli. llnlV Communion.
Sentccs preparatory to Communion on Friday
evening iieiori, mo bi. jaummj ,u .... u.WUvU.
Pews rented ; but everybody welcome.
XVANOKLICAl. CIICRCH.
rresldlng Elder Hev. A. I., llepscr
tlV.i.i..Llinv i-lnnrirn Hunter.
Sunday senlco-'i p. m., In tho Iron strectchurch.
Praver Meeting 1; cry nauiwui v v uj.
All are Invited. All are welcome.
Meets In "tbo llttlo Prick Church on the hill,"
known as tho Welsh Baptist Church-on Hock street
CnitegiVar0mcetlng for worship, every Lord's day at-
'"MtsrrL'fandtho'pub'Icaro cordially Invited to
attend
riftmnl. nnnP.DS. I.lnnlr. iust printed and
O neatly bound In small book's, on hand and
or saio at tno uulumhiam uiuld.
1 ) LANK DEEDS, on Parchment and Linen
I") Paper, common and for Administrators, Exeat-
i......,.li.ilatn(.a rnr ur.ln rhf-iin at tllO COLCMBIAN I
- r A Hill AOH CEUTIFICATES Inst printed
l nini lor saio at the colpmbian omce. Mlnls-
ersut tnedospelandJustlcesBhould supply them-
BellCS Willi tucso necessary uiutiw.
-I USTICES and Constables' Fee-Bills for sale
I at the Colombian omce. rney conuun iu tui--
ni,.rt rpes n9 pstablKhed by tho last Act of the Leg-
-'liature upon uie euujeuu u uanv
tablo should liavo one.
TfENDUE NOTES jut printeil and for Bale
y cheap at tno Columbian uiiicu,
JiLOOMSHUKO" DIKECTOHY.
PIIOKESSIONAL CAItUS.
(i O. BAHKLEY, Attorney-at.Law. Office
V J , In lirower'a building, md story, Booms 4 & 8 I
1 li. HOBISON, Attorney-at-Law.
t) . in llartman'abulldlng.Valnstreet.
once
s
AMUEL KNOHlt. Attorney-at.Law.Oflice
In llartman'S nuuuiog, .Main btrect.
m
U'MM. UKHKP .lr,.on -nil I'livsi-
clan, omco Market , licet. Abovottn East
siai
r It. EVANS. M. D.. Surgeon and l'liysi-
I . clan, (omco and ltesldcncu on Third street,
T I). McKELVY. M. D.. Surceon and Pliy-
J . blclan, north Bide Main street, below Market,
Tl, J. 0. RUTTER,
PHYSICIAN 4 snitQEON,
onicc, North Market Btreet,
Mar.:i,'74 Bloomsburg, Pa.
T It. I. L. RAIJB,
PRACTICAL DENTIST,
Main street, opposlto Episcopal Church, Blooms
burg, Pa.
Iir Teeth extracted without pain,
uug !J, "77-ly.
MISCELLANEOUS.
p M. DRINKER, GUN and LOCKSMITH.
i-enlng Machines and Machinery of all kinds re-
datrcd. Opera House Building, Bloomsburg, Pa.
TAVID LOWENBERO, Mercbant Tailor
U Main St., above Central Hotel.
1 S. KUIIN, dealer in Meat, Tallow, etc,
X . centre Btreet, between &econa ana i nira.
TT ROSKNSTOCK, J'liotogrnplier, over
1H. , Clark Wolt'abtore, Main street.
1 TTriTTC TTJ lrill.TIVn tlrnltnnl hAln.n.
pathlo' Iloi-bO and Cow Doctor, Bloomsburg, l'a.
iSb. 14, lo-tf
TT Y. K ESTER,
MERCHANT TAILOR.
ItooraNo. 15, Opbra lleuuk Builpino, Bloomsburg.
aprlltt.is-s.
TjRITlSII AMERICA ASSURANCE CO
NATIONAL FlltE INSURANCE COMPANY.
The assets of tnese old cornoratlons are all In-
vestedlnsoi.il) SECUIUTILS andare liable tothc
hazard ot Fire only.
Moderate lines on tho best rlsksare alone accepted.
1.0SSIH i'komiii.y and noMsTLY adiusttd and paid
assocn as determined by christian F. Knapp, ppe
tlal Agent and Adjuster, ll'oomsburg, Penn'a.
'IhucltlzenBof Columbia county should patronize
the agency w hero losses, If uny, are adjusted and
paid by one or theirsiwu citizens, nov.iu, 'i i-iy
17REAS BROWN'S INSURANCE AGEN
J. CY, Exchange Hotel, Bloomsburg, Pa,
Capital.
.Ktna, Ins Co., ot Hartford, Connecticut... e.ww.ooo
LUerpool, tondon and Olobo vo,ikk),ikio
Itojalot Liverpool 13 5oo,ikio
Lancanshlre 10,000,' 00
Fire Association, Philadelphia 8,1o,(kio
Firmers Mutual of Danville 1.000.000
liaavlllo Mutual To.oou
Home, New York. S.eoo.ooo
S0,t31,CK10
Ab the agencies are direct, policies are written for
the Insured w Ithout any dela) In the omce at Blooms-
March M.II-y
JJ F. HAWTMAN
BBPRBSKNTS TI1X POLLOWINO
AMERICAN INSURANCE COMPANIES:
a-j coming or Muncy Pennsylvania,
forth Amerlcau ot Philadelphia, l'a
fraukhn, of "
l'cnns)ivanlaof "
f armers of York, Pa.
llanou'rof New Y'ork.
llanhatUin of
onico on Market Btreet No. , Blooniaburg, Pa,
LCt,S6,lJ-ly.
JT THE
OUANOKVILLK AOADEJIY
Y'ou can get a Thorough Education with the
LEAST OUTLAY OV MONEY.
For Catalogue, addreBS the;rrlnclpal,
. HEV, 0 K. CAN FIELD,
Aftu,., iay-ix
0. E, ELWELI,, Ealter I and froprleUn,
hAWYERS.
T K. WALI.KU
XJ I
Attoi'nnvnt-, .nw
Increase ef PmiiIb-,. sM.L.ji .1
m,n
onico, Second door from 1st National Hank.
mJOMSiiuno. pa.
an. 11, 1S73
I'UNk,
Attorn iivnl-T nw
Incrcaso of Pensions Obtained, Collections
Made.
I1LOOMSDTJKO, TA.
omco In Ent's UcitniNa.
B
110CKWAY & KLWKLU
ATTORNEY S-A T-L A W,
Coiciibian HciLoiKo, Bloomsburg, Pa.
Members of tho United States Law Association.
Collections made In any part of America or Kuropo
Q B A W.J. BUCKALEW,
ATTOHNEYS-AT-lAW,
Uloomsbarc. Pa.
omco on Main Btreet, first door below Courttlouse
JOHN M. CLAKK,
aiTOIINEY-AT-LAW,'
Uloomsburg. Pa.
omce over Schuyler's Hardware Store.
F.
P. BILLMEYER,
ATTOKNEY AT LAW,
Ornci In narman's Building, Main utreet,
iiiuumsuun:, in.
n. LITTLX. B0T. R. LITTIJI.
II. A B. R. LITTLE,
ATI UHNKYS-AT-LAW,
Iiloomsburg, ra.
l W.MILLbK,
ATTonNEY-AT-LAW
oniceln Browcr'a building, second floor, room No.
Iiloomsburir. ra.
B.1
HANK ZAKK,
Attornoy-ut-Tjaw.
HLOOMailUItO, PA.
onico In Unanost's Bcilbino, on Main street second
Can be consulted in German.
Jan. 10, T9-tf
OATAWISSA.
w
M. L. EYEKLY,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
Catawlssa, Fa.
Collections promptly mads and remitted, omce
ooposuo caiawissa Deposit Bank. em-38
W. II. Abbott. w. h, Khawn.
ABBOTT & RIIAWN,
Attorney s-at-Lnw.
CATAWISSA, PA.
Pensions obtained.
dec m, '7T-ly
QLAKK V. HARDER,
Ul lLLI&H AMI MANU FACTURER ujr
Scars, Sa;h, Blinds, Mouldings, Brackets,
and dealerln l.UMIIBHnnd all kinds of BUILD1NQ
MATEHIAL, HAHI)WAHE,4:c.,
TIIIIITI RTlHrVn. flA PAVt'TCQi PA
TUIHD STltEET, CAPAWISSA, PA.
May 16, 19-3m'
BLATOIILEY'S PIMPS !
The Old Eeliable
STANDARD PUMP
T TUT 11 1 A A fir f IT! I
J: Or WellS 1U tO & leetJJeep
New Price LisTJan. 1,181
ADDRESS
C. G, ni.ATCIII.EV,
440 MAItKET ST..PniLAD'A.
April 11, ISH-Cm
BLOOMSBURG TANNERY.
G. A. HERRING
T ESI'ECTFULLY announces to tho public
JL vmai ne nas reopeneu
SNYDER'S TANNERY,
fold stand) liloomsbure. ra.. at the Forks of the Es
py and LI put btreet roads, where all descriptions or
leather wilt be made la the most Bub&tantlAl and
workmanlike manner, and sold at prices to suit the
lines, iuq uiguetit price m uusu win tii iui iiuit-a w
iiu iur
GREEN HIDES
or everv descrtDtlon In the country. The DUbllc DaW
THE GREAT ENGLISsH REMEDY 1
QEAY'S SPE0IFI0 MEDICINE
fRADE mark. Is especially recom-TR ADC MARK.
menaea as an un
failing cure for sem
inal wcakness.Sper
matorrbeo. 1m p o
lency. and all disea
ses, such as Loss ot
memory, Universal
Lassitude, Palu In
,hft llitplr. ltlmncwt
Before Taiineoi vision, prema-
01 vision. 1 rema-, frvi
ture Old Age, and alter SJQH,
manv other clseases that lead to Insanlty.Consurap-
tlon Hilda rrematuro (irate, all of which as a rule
are nrst caused by deviating from the path of nature
and u or Indulgence. 'I ho specific Medlclno Is the
result or a lire stuuy uuu niuuy jl-wbui win-iicuw:
In treating these Btieclal diseases.
to send free by mall to every one.
r un particulars in our iiuuiiiuii.-iB,nuii;u no ucsirv
icr pacfcige, or six parkairc tor , or will be sent
'-tin iru-rinf! Al i'iiil-iui: is ttuiu uv uu i.ruti-Hii i si
y mall on receipt 01 tho money by aaarcssing
THE OKAY MEDICINE CO.,
No. 10, Mechanic's Block, Detroit, Mich.
Sold In Bloomsburg bye. A. Klelm, and by all
Druggists everywnere.
llama C .Uig, n uvivoniv tivuut, 1 uiauiufc.
sepr, , 18-U
M. C. SLOAN & BRO.
iu.oum.si.uiu;, 1M.
Manufacturers ot
Carriages, Buggies, Phaetons, Sleighs,
PLATFOltM WA00N8, to.
Flrst-claas workalways on,hand.
UEPAIUINQ NEATLY DONE.
5 Prices reduced to suit tho times.
iau. o, 191,-u.
E
EltY DIRECTOR. TEACHER AND
STUDENT
should subscribe for
THK KIDUOATOK,
A Uve Educational Monthly, published at
0RANGEV1LLE, PA.,
for W cents per year. Send six cents for specimen
copy.
C. K.CANK1ELD.
April 18, J8I9-U
loll tor,
SHERIFFS SALE.
I'y virtue of sundry writs Issued out of tho
court of Common ricas of Columbia county and to
mo directed, will bo cxposd to public sale at tho
o' Bloomsburg Columbia
county, rennsyivanta, at two o'clock p. in., on
MONDAY, JUNK ICtli, 1879
All that certalu let or plcco of land situate In
iioanngcrees. ioi.ship, Columbia County Pa, de
scribed as follows to- It i bounded on tho north by
rollcy Hoagland, on tho east by land of Peter Levnn,
oax 1,0 west hy land of F.ltlchard and on tho south by
land of William Swisher, containing no acres on
which are erected a dwelling house, log barn and
out Duuaings,
Seized taken In execution, at the suit of Tho Com
monwealth of l'ennsjlvanla at tho Instance of
Michael Koach, and other heirs of 1 nomas Itoach,
deceased, against William ltoacli, snd John Kllnger,
ana to do soia as tno property of William Itoach,
licciAnw, Attorney. Al Vend Kx
ALSO,
Tho following described real estate sltuato In Main
township, Columbia county, to-wlt
I. Beginning at a stono In tho publlo road Icadlne
rrom .Mainviiio toMiminvllIc, thenco by said road
norm nity-seven degrees east one hundred and
ono and 4-10 perches to a stone, thrnce by samo north
seventy-seven and one-half degrees east thtrty.ono
anu eight-tenths perches to a post In said road,
tnence ny land or Stacy John south twenty-sev
en degrees east perches to a stone.
thencobylandof J.B.Yctter and heirs of Henry
nauman, deceased, south elghty-slx degrees'
west one hundred and thirty-four perches to a stono
heap, thence by purpart No. S of Daniel Yctter. do
ceased, north thirty and one-half degrees wct one
hundred and forty-four perches to a stono In tho
tnlddlo of the aforesaid public road, the place of be
ginning, containing ono hundred and forty acres
and ono hundred and thirty-tour perches noat meas
ure more or less, whereon aro erected a stonodwel-
ung nouse, barn and out-butldlngs,
a. Beginning at a stono In tho public road leading
irom jiainviuo to -Miminviiie, thenco by said road
nortntnirty-rour and one-halt degrees, east seven-
ty-threo perches to aBtono In said road, thence by
said road north fifty-seven degrees cast twenty-six
and six-tentns perches to a stone In said road.tlieneo
by other lands of Joseph Gelger south thirty and
one-halt degrees east ono hundred and forty-four
pjrenes to a Btono neap, thence by lands of C. B.
ncarhart and J. li. Yetter south eighty-six degrees.
west ono hundred and four and one-halt perches to
a post, tnenco ny land ot J. B. Yetter north thirty
ono ana one-rourtn degrees west btxty-four and
turec-tcnths perches to the placo ot beginning, con
taining nrty-six acres and four perches neat meas
ure more or less, whereon aro erected a dwelling
nouse, nam and out-bull dings.
8. Tract of land on the right ot tho nubllo road irom
Minilnvllle to Malnville and adjoining lands ofC.ll
Oearhart on the cast, J. J. Uearlutrt on tho north
and others containing about seventy acres more or
less.
4. Tract adjoining lands ot Peter Jin cr on tho
north, J. J. Oearhart on tho east, U. J. Campbell on
me south an J. u. bhuman on tho west, containing
aoout lorty acres.
6. Lot In tho vulage ot Malnville fronting on Main
road and adjoining on tho south another lot of Jo
seph Gelger, on the west by lands of J. W. Shuman
and on tho north by school houso lot, containing
tureo acres whereon are erected a dwelling house,
large Darn, blacksmith shop and out-bulldings.
e. Lot in village ot Malnville adjoining last abovo
described tot on the north, on the main road cast,
south by William T. Shuman, and west by W.J.
Shuman, whereon aro erected a dwelling house and
ouc-ouuaings.
Seized, taken In execution at the suit ot.stacy John
against Joseph Gelger and to bescdasthe property
or Joseph oeiger.
Knorb, Attorney. Al. Fl. ra.
ALSO,
All that certain bouse and lot of ground situ t te In
Main township, Colombia county, Pennsylvania,
bounded on the east by public road leading tLrough
the town of Malnville, on tho south by lot of Samuel
Shuman, on the west by land ot Jacob 11. Y'ettcr and
on tho north by lot ot J. E. Longenberger, on which
are erected a two-story frame dwelling house, frame
stable and out-buUdlngs.
ALSO,
nother houso and lot of ground situate In said
ul" i"U3UUJ. uiuiumu tuuui?, 1 t-uulailiu,
bounded on tbo east by public road leading through
the town of Malnville, on the south by lot of tho
Public school District, on the west and north by lot
I or land ot John W. bhuman, on which are erected a
largo two story frame dn elllng house, barn and out
buildings,
ALSO
Also a certain tract of cleared land situate In said
I Main township Columb'a county, Pennsylvania,
bounded on tho cast by ,and of Joseph Gelger and
others, on tho south by land of John W, Shuman,
on the west by public road leading from Ksp.Uown
ItolMaInvllle and on the north by lotof M. V, B. Kos
tenbauder, containing twenty-two acres more or
I less,
Seized, taken In execution and to bo sold as tho
property of IT. J. Campbell.
Zar, Attorney,
ALSO
Also all that certain lot of ground situate In Zerr's
addition to the town of Cataw lssa In tho township
of Catawls-so, bounded and described as follows, to
wit : Bounded on the west by Fourth street, on the
north by lot No. 12, on the east by an alley twenty
feet w lde. and on tho south by lot No. 14, being lot
marked and numbered on tbe.plan ot Zerr's Addition
to tho town of Catawlssa No. 13 containing In front
on said Fourth street liny feet (50 feet) and extend
ing In depth southcostwardly of the same breadth
bylines parallel to tho streets ot tho town ot Cata
wlssa aforesaid to the aforesaid alley twenty feet
wide.
.seized, taken In execution at tbo sultot oeorge
Zarr against W. E. John with notlco to J. M. Smith,
Assignee and William Hhawn, terro tenant nnd to bo
sold as tho property of W. E. John with notice to J.
M. Smith, Assignee, and William Hhawn, terro
tenant.
Zabb, Attorney. levari Facias.
A LSO,
All that certain tract ot land sltuato In Iioarlug-
creek township, Columbia county, Pennsylvania, de
scribed as follows, to-w It : Bounded on tho north
by land ot William Y'eager, on tho cast by land ot
William Drelsbach and others, 011 tho south by land
I ' '
I llaussman, containing one hundred and thirty acres
of William Bellg, and on the west by land of Conrad
mroo or less, on wldch are erected a house, bank
barn and out-bulldlngs.
ALSO,
A tract ot woodland containing about forty-rive
acres situate In Bald township adjoining lauds of
Ezeklel Dcleplalo, William Z. Soult, L. Duty and
others.
ALSO,
A tract ot woodland containing about thirty acres
situate In said townsh1p,adjolnlng lands ot M. Man-
hart, 1'. Yocum, WIU Lanan and others.
Stlzed, taken In execution at tho Bull of Stacy
John against Samuel Houck and to bo sold as tho
property of Samuel Houck.
Ksorr, Attorney. Al. n. ra.
ALSO,
All that tract ot land situate In Main township,
County of Columbia and state of l'enusjlvanla, de
scribed as follows to-wlt 1 Bounded on the north by
land of William Menslnger, on the east by land ot
David Brown, on the south by land of II, W.Brown
and on the west by land of Nathan Miller and others,
containing one hundred and sixteen acres more or
less, on which ore erected a brick house, bank barn,
tw 0 wagon sheds,'and)ther out-bulldlngs; also good
fruit orchards and a fine spring of water at house.
seized, taken In ;executlon at the suit of John
Waltz, Guardian ot BonJ. t, Nuss, Aaron Nuss and
Amanda Nuss against William Menslngerandto bo
sold as the the property ot William Menslnger.
ABBOTTS liuAwx, Attorneys. vend. tx.
Terms cash,
JOHN W, HOFFMAN,
May 10, 19-ts bbcrl-t.
JPrivatc Sale I
The following valuable property, the Estate of the
late John SKlshcr,deceased,wUl be offered at prli ate
c&le up to
SEPTEMBER 1st 1879.
The property la sltuato In Iho vtllago of Jersey
tou p, Columbia county l'a., and contains about
FIFTY ACRES
of excellent farming land upon which are TWO
HOUSES, BARN, ana other out
buildings, and Is one ot the llnest localities In the
county. There aro
TWO GOOD ORCHARDS
on tho premises.
I rFor Information concerning tho property ap
ply to C, B. Brockway, ot Bloomsburg, or T.J,
Swisher, of Jerseytown.
May svta
BLOOMSBURG, PA.,
Poetical.
OIIITUAKY roKTRY,
In marked contrast to tho ildlculouj obituary
verses somstlracs genuine and Bometlmes spurious,
mat go tno rounds of tho press, is Iho following
really touching llttlo poem, which wo clip from tho
Detroit rrce press :"
A lllly broken by tho rain.
Before a single earthly stain
Has on Iti veHet whiteness lain j
A snowy bird that closo caressed
By the soft, brooding mother breast,
Dares jet forsako tho sheltering nest,
And strait, before Its MUcr wings
Has ever stooped to baser thliigo,
Files on to heaven, and flying sings.
Thcs, and all other pure and mild
And lovely objects undented,
Aro types ot what thou wert, my child I
"ACIJEI'TED AND WILL AITEAU."
Ono evening whllo reclining
In my easy chair, repining
O'er tho lack of true religion and the dearth ot com
mon sense,
A solemn-vlsaged lady
Who was surely on tho shady
Slde ot thirty entered proudly and to crush mo did
commenco :
"I sent a poem here, sir."
Said tho lady growing tlercer.
"And the subjects whlcbl'd chosen, you remember
sir, was'sprlng,'
But, although I've scanned your paper,
Sir, by sunlight, gas and taper,,
I've discovered of that poem not a solitary thing."
She was musculi r and wiry
And her temper sure was tlery.
And I know to pacify her I would havo to 1-ilb like
fun.
so I told her ero her verses.
Which were great, had come to bless lis
We'd received lust slxty-ono on "spring," ot which
wo d printed one,
And I added, we've decided
That they'd belter bo divided
Among the years that follow ono to each succeed
lng spring.
So your work, I'm pleased to mention
Will receive our best attention
In tho year of nlnetcen-forty, when tho birds beg us
to sing.
Select Story.
AX UXKXI'ECfED W1TXKSS.
I had never seen my little client. He was
off to boarding school when his mother died
and they buried her the next day without
sending fur little Charley, who was too
young, perhaps they thought, to appreciate
his loss.
This was the way little Charley came to
be my client : After his mother's death, a
will was produced, leaving all her handsome
fortune to Mr. Iiryson, her second "beloved
husband," little Charley's stepfather.
When the will was offered for probate, it
became necessary to appoint some one to
protect the rights of little Charley, and to
this post that of guardian ml litem, the
lawyers call it too often regarded as ono of
mere form, I was duly assigned.
It would have afforded me great pleasure
to break that will, for I had much less con
fulence in the austere Mr. Uryson than his
confiding little wife had, who had trusted
him with everything, her little boy's future
included. For myself, I thought there was
far too much goodness in his face to leave
any for his heart.
Rut what could I do? The will was in
legal form. Dr. Dolus, who had attended
the lady on her deathbed, had drawn it up
and witnessed it, and was ready to swear to
everything necessary to make it valid. The
other witnes9,Saudy Mcliride, an old Scotch
domestic, staunchly loyal to his mistress,
died and was buried tho very day beforo the
case was to come on. Tho weather was
warm, and Dr. Dolus advised a speedy in
terment.
With Sandy died all my hopes. He was
a truthful, honest fellow, and whatever facts
he knew I was certain ho would tell. Rut
now his voice was silenced, and all the other
side had to do was to prove his death and
handwriting."
That night before tho proofs wero taken I
sat up late and went to bed troubled. I fell
asleep at last, and wa3 dreaming ot Mr.
Murdstone and David Copperfield, when a
loud rapping awoke me. It was Dick Setou,
an old chum of mine, now a medical stud
eut, who had a habit of calling all sorts of
hours.
"IJeg pardon," said Dick, "but I've some
thing Btrange to tell you."
I thought it might have kept till morning
but bade him proceed.
"My friend, Nol Pellett, and I," he went
on, "have long wanted a subject to dissect,
So wo hired I'addy Rurke for ten dollars and
a jug of whisky, with another jug conting
ent, to dig up and bring to us to-night the
body of Sandy Mcliride, who was buried to
day."
"You'll all get into a scrape," said I,
"That's a point on which I promised Pat
to consult you," Dick replied; "but my
story first.
"Nol and I were sitting, by turns whet
ting our scalpels and looking over the pic
tures in Gray's Anatomy, when we heard
Rat's signal.
Nol let him in. His face was deathly
pale. Quickly dumping a heavy sack from
his shoulder
" 'Iiedad oi've got him I' he exclaimed
but I wudn't do tho job again for twoice the
pay I'
" ' What's the matter ?' Nol asked.
'"Alther I tuck him up, ye's 8ee,'said l'at
ho was civil enough for a whoile ; but
1'in blissed If the spalpeen hasn't been
kiciin' me in the lack for the last half
nolle.'
" 'Nonsense I a mere fancy a prejudice
of race,' said I, as we turned the body out
of the sack, laid it on the table aud took up
our instruments.
' 'Great heaven! what's this V exclaimed
Nol, starting back. 'The man's alive 1'
And sure enough. Toor Sandy, alter a
lew convulsive movements, rose to a sitting
posture, and rubbing his eyes looked con
fusedly about.
" 'Oh, murdherl murdherl screamed l'at.
'Sure the rogue '11 turn state's evidence on
us, au play the mischief wid us all for dis
turbln' his atarnal rest.' And, by the way,
that's the point oil which I promised to con
sult you.
"In short, and to be serious," Dick con
tinued, "Sandy Mcliride, the want of whom
as a witness I heard you so greatly regret
tlug to-day, is now alive and at your service.
He tells a queer story about old Dolus giv-
lug him something to cure the headache,
and his knowing nothing afterwards, I
more thau half Jsuspect the old quack of
foul play. To poison out-right would
FRIDAY, JUNE 6.
be dangerous j but there are plcnly of drugs
which will produco the semblance of death
and leave no nupiclous trace afterwards.
hrough such means n mnn might lip ef
fectually disposed of by burying him
alive."
I hurried on my clothes and set out with
Dick, In n back room wo found Sandy sit
ting in his shroud, regaling lilmM-lf on cold
am anil a mng of nle.l'at Ilurke looking 011
with eyc-i agape nnd hair still on end.
I hail a conference with Sandy, the re
sult of which will be dUclosed presently.
Suffice it to say, it was deemed advl'ablo
that his return sht.uld be kept a secret for
the present.
Two moro respectable loiklng gentleman
than Mr. llryson and Dr. Dolus never an-
eared in court to tell a lie or rob an or.
linn.
When the doctor took the stnnd and kissed
the book, ho seemed the impersonation of
truth. He gave his testimony clearly and
methodically. Ho had written the will. He
ilcemcd it part of a physician's duly lo
qualify himsolf to draft such instruments.
The provisions had been dictated by the
testatrix herself, who was of a sound mind
and memory. He and the other witness had
seen her sign the instrument. She had de
clared It to be her will, and they hud sub
scribed as witnesses at her request, In her
presence, and tho presence of each other.
Ills co-witness was dead ; but he had seen
him affix his signature, and recognized the
handwrltiug. In short, he covered every
requirement of the law, and sat down with
'he air of a man conscious of having per
formed his whole duty. It was no use to
cross-examine him, I think he would have
liked it.
"Have you any witnesses, Mr. Gaines ?"
the judge asked.
"One, your honor."
"Call him."
"I have sent for him ; he will bo hero in
a moment," I replied.
Tho judge looked surprised, tho case
seemed so clear. Mr. Rryson and the doctor
looked both surprised and anxious.
Surpriso turned to amazement when Sandy
Mcliride was conducted to the witness stnnil.
The spectators, as he passed, gave him a
wide berth. They seemed little inclined to
come in close contact with a man buried but
yesterday. Mr. Rrysou and the doctor were
tho most disturbed of all. They turned pale
exchanged frightened glances, and, before
Sandy, on whom every eye wa9 fixed, had
half told his story, the two stole out and
ivere seen no more.
Sandy's story was this : On tho day his
mistress died, he had signed the paper pro
duced at her husband's request.but not in her
presence, without knowing what it was, be
ing told that his siguaturo was a merely for
mal matter, lie had not seen mistress that
day till he saw her in her coffin. As to what
happened to himself, he could only say that
hearing him complain of a slight headache,
to which he was subject, Dr. Dolus had giv
en him .1 potion, after which he was con
scious of nothing till ho found himself ly
ing on a table, and two young gentlemen
standing over him with kniyes.
The will was rejected, of course, and lit
tle Charley got his mother's fortune. There
was a strong belief that she, too, had been
the victim of foul play ; but the culprits
had gone beyond the reacli of punish
ment.
AX AXEt'DUTi: OP .'KESIUENT IilM'OLX.
A striking incident in Mr. Lincoln's offi
cial life is related by Judge llrocwell, of
Denver, who visited the White Hutise in
.March, 1S6 j. Mr. Seward and several (oth
er gentleman were also present, and tho
President gradually camo to talk on decis
ions of life and death. All other matters
submitted to him he declared were nothing
in comparison to these, and he added: 'I
reckon theie was never a man raised in the
country on a farm, where they aro always
butchering cattle and hogs and think noth
ing .f it, that ever grew up with such an
aversion to blood-hcd as I have ; and yet
I've had more questions of life and deatli to
settle in four years than all the men who
ever sat in this chair put together. Rut
I've managed to get along and do my duty,
as I believe, and still save most of them ;
and there's no man knows the distress in
my mind. Rut there have been some eases
where the law must be extcuttd. There
was that man , who was sentenced
for piracy and slave trading on the high
seas, inat was a case where there must be
an example, aud you don't know how they
followed and pressed to get him pardontd,or
bis sentence commuted; but there was no
use of talking. It had to be done; I couldn't
help hi tu. And then there was that
who was caught spying and recruiting
within I 'opes lines in Missouri. That was
another case. They beseiged me day and
night, hut I couldn't give way. Wo had to
come to a point where something must be
done that would put a stop to such work
Then there was this case of lieal.on the lakes,
That was a case where there must bo an ex
ample. They tried me every way. They
wouldn't give up; but I had to stand firm
on that, audi even had to turn away his
poor sister when she came and beggtd
for his life anil let him be executed, and
ho was executed, and I can't get the di;
tress out of my head yet.' As the kindly
man uttered these words tuo tears ran
down his cheeks, nnd the eyes ol the men
surrounding him moistened in sympathy
there was 11 profound silence, in which
they arose to depart. Three weeks after
the President was killed,
From the Huh,
There is perhaps no tonic offered to the
people that possesses as much real intrinic
value as tho Hop Hitters. Just at this se.isou
of the year, when the stomach needs an ap
petizer, or the blood needs purifying, the
cheapest and best remedy is Hop Ritters.
An ounce of preveutlon is wortli a pound
of cure, don't wait until you are prostrated
by a disease that may take months for you
to recover iu. Jloston Globe,
A Virginia paper says that tho residence-
of the President of William and Mary Col
lege has lately suffered much from firo, Tho
house was originally built In 1732, and was
accidently burned by the French troops
under Lafayette, ou their way to Yorktown
In 1781. It was rebuil by Louis XVI out
of his private- funds, and has survived the
fires that have since so often destroyed the
college It U the only house iu Virginia
built by a reigning sovereign,
1879.
"FIFTEEN I'ENTS Or'P."
A Delrnllcr who dresses well nnd hns a
reasonable share nf good looks had occasion
last week to make a trip to tho country, and
ononlghtliofiitindhlmself.it a farm-houso
nt which a party wa. to come off. Ho was
Invited lo participate In tho festivities, and
after ho had consented the old farmer took
him around tho corner of tho houo nnd
said ;
'Ttio young folks nre mighty fond of any
game with klslng In it. They'll get up
something, nnd fix it to make you kiss the
handsomest gal In tho room,'
'Well, I'll kiss her,' was the prompt re
ply. 'Yes, hut hold on a little,' continued tho
old man. There's my gal Emma. We
think she's ns ptirty as any of 'em, but cer
tniu folks around here kinder sniff at her
'catio her nose crooks a bit and her hair Is
a trlllo lilgh.colnred. Now, I want you to
kl-s Em lor tho handsomest girl in tho room.
It'll do the olo woman good, do Em good,
and klnderset these 'ero sniffers back n. little.
I don't ask you to kiss her for nothing, hut
if you'll do it, l'llthr-w fifteen cents off'n
your bill in the morning. What d'ye say ?'
Tho young man said he'd do it, and the
father continued :
'That's the checker. Don't have any make
believe about it, but kiss her right pop out,
so that we kin all hear the smack I'
The game was played, the Detroiter was
'fixed,' and ho kissed 'Em' like the pop of a
pistol, He felt all tho happier for it that
night, seeing how greatly the old
woman was pleased ; but next forenoon, ns
he jogged along, he had to run the gauntlet
of a scoro of farmers' sons waiting in fence
corners to lick 111 in because he passed their
'gnls' by for 'Em.' Ho was struck by thir
teen stones, six clubs, nnd about a bushel
of potatoes, before ho got out of rhe neigh
borhood ; and when he came to figure up,
he realized that fifteen cents was no induce
ment at al 1, Free J'ress.
Careful writers on the subject have noticed
the general immunity from disease found in
all flocks of American sheep ; and this is a
matter of much importance, giving to the
United States special advantages ns a sheep
breeding and mutton producing country.
Many of the diseases of sheep, which are
described as comparatively common in Eu
rope, are known in the United States; and
this remark applies particularly to those
which have proved most destructive abroad,
Very many formidable maladies described
by European writers aro wholly unknown
here, and others seldom met with, or it met
with occur in localities whero they aro not
recognized. We have some foot-root and
scab, it is true, with more or less colds, cat
arrh aud grub in the head, but in grucral
our flocks are very healthy. Indeed, the
late H. S. Randall, ono of our best informed
writers on this subject, expressed an opin
ion some years since that all the diseases of
sheep in this country with which he was ac
quaintedand he had sent circulars for in
formation upon this subject to all parts of
tho United States did not cut off 2 per
cent. annually of noll-fed and really wtll
managed growu sheep. One of jour greatest
rawbacks in sheep husbandry is tho pres
ence of so many useless, vicious dogs ; and
their ravages are so alarming in many states
as to raise a practical prohibition against
sheep keeping. In the vicinity of towns and
large villages, where dogs abound, sheep are
scarce ; and but fur this all New England
might bo one vast sheep fold.
A 1'EX W0KTI1 KECOJIMEXUIXO.
We have been favored with samples of the
celebrated Spencerian Double Elastic Steel
Pens, and after trying them feel justified in
highly recommending them to our readers.
They are made of the best steel, and by the
most expert workmen in Europe, and have
a national reputation for certain desirable
piiilities which no other pens seem to have
attained 'n so great perfection, among
which are uniform evenness of point, dura
bility, flexibility, and mull action. It is
thus quite natural that the Spencerian
should he preferred nnd used by profession
al penman, in business colleges, counting
rooms, government oflices, public schools,
and largely throughout tho country. In
deed, so popular have they become, that ol
the "Number One" alone, as many as eight
millions are sold annually.
The bpenceriau Pens may be had, as a
rule, from any dealer; but when not thus
obtainable, the proprietors, Messrs. Ivison,
Rlakeman, Taylor it Co., tho well-known
publishers, 13S it 1-10 Grand street, New-
York, will send for trial, samples of each of
twenty numbers 011 receipt of twenty-five
cents.
A TillilFrY t'OXGKEd'ATIOX.
Eli Perkins, in one of his humorous lee
tures, skotches a graphic picture of a threat
eued shipwreck at sea, in which, after call
ing on one another to pray, and finding that
none knew how, his uncle, Consider Perk
ins, suggested they should do tho next best
thing they could think of, which was to take
up a collection. Perkins should have been
born, if indeed he was uot, up in Rhode I
laud. Recently, iu one of tiic towns of that
benighted region, the pastor of one of lli
churches died, and the congregttion, by
whom he was much beloved, was thrown in
to great grief. On the Sunday followiug the
funeral, the son of the deceased, also a cler
gyman, conducted the service. It was a
solemn scene. The pastor'n family in deep
est black, occupied the front pews, while the
young man stood iu tho place made sacred
by hu lather's ministrations. The sermon
was little more than a eulogy on the virtues
ot me deceased, xsear its close, overcome
by emotion, the son's voico faltered, his
arms dropped across the pulpit, his head
sank upon them, his bauds worked in his
strong agony, aud his tears fell upon tho
open Iiible. Uttering a few broken words
of prayer, he sauk Into a seat. Sobs were
heard all over the church. Just at this sol
emn moment the deacons rose and passed
the contribution ho.J'uttH'ille Chronicle.
Advice of an old nurse. The baby would
be always bright and cheerful if an occnion
al dose of Dr. Hull's Iiaby Syrup were ad
ministered, llr.ll Si'titusuoN. An exclinngo tells
this : 'The Authors' Publishing Company
sent to one ot its authors, a lady novice, tho
usual galley proofs, She was much pleased,
but ventured lo suggest that the book might
be on better paper, and tho pages not quito
so long.'
THK COLUMMAN.VOL. XIII, NO.21
COLUMIllADKMOCHAT.VOr,. XL1V, NO, IS
POTATO ClIliTUIiK.
Tho agricultural editor of the New York
U'utit gives a condensation of the many
points in potato culture, which we copy for
the benefit of those who propose trying for
full crops this Koawn 1 "Tho soil acknowl
edged as best adapted In the requirements
of the potato plant is a sandy loam, neither
wet nor yet ton dry ; heavy soils Induce a
watery Insipidity of flavor and lender a dry
infaly product Impossible. A rich fresh
soil yields probably tho best flavored pota
toes nnd thoe least liable to disease. A
calcareous soil produces good tubersnnd gen
erally a sure crop, though if there is but lit
tle lime present it should bo added. Salt,
ashes and gypsum nre excellent furtllizers
and have been known to produce on some
lands astonishing results. A dressing of
salt aud ittileaclicd ashes applied in tho
growing season acts not only ns a fertilizer
but is a prcventlvool tho grub prevalent in
richly manured lands. Uonedust also greatly
benefits a potato soil. Fresh barnyard ma
nures are not advised. They aro liable to
affect the flavor of the potatoes and induce a
luxuriant growth of tops at the expense of
the tubers, which, in consequence, becomes
an easy prey to blight. ' When neccsary to
apply manure it is recommended that it be
scattered broadcast and ploughed in. Tho
relative merits of whole or cut potatoes for
seed agitates the agricultural world each re
curring season. Iloth systems find advocates
among successful growers. Tills fact proves
that it is of little consequence which mode
is followed, other things being equal. The
general rule arising from conflicting experi
ences and their respective results is: H
lect for seed none but tho best, and when
the tuber is cut leave bulk enough lo insure
sufficient sustenance lo the young plant.
Tho distance apart of botli hills and drills
depends on tho character ot the land and tho
variety of potatoes planted; some sorts grow
much larger tops than others. Thorough
cultivation during the early season is imper
ative. The young tubers rtquire a suitable
bed to swell in, and become irregular aud
til tonttain tho desired size when they have
to struggle with hard ground. After the
vines begin to bloom, when the potatoes aro
forming nud near the surface, cultivation
should cease beyond pulling out any weeds
that may make their appearance.
A 1ILUXUEU AND ITS REWARD.
Duriug his first visit to Paris, M. Lasallc,
a distinguished German, presented himself
at the house of a well known lady, to whom
ho had sent letters of introduction in ad-
ance. When tho servant opened the door
and received his card she conducted him to
the boudoir and torn lilm to be seated, say-
ng: "Madame will come immediately."
Pre-ently the lady entered. She was in
dishabille and tier feet were bare, covered
only witli loose slippers. She bowed to him
carelessly and said :
"Ah, there you are ; good morning."
She threw herself on a sofa, let fall a slip
per, ami rencneu out to l-asano tier very
pretty foot.
Lasalle was, naturally, completely ns-
touded, hut he remembered that at his home
n Germauv it was the custom sometimes to
kiss a lady's hand, and he supposed it was
tho Paris mcdo to kiss her foot. Therefore
he did not hesitate to imprint a kiss upon
tho fascinating foot so near him, but he
could not avoid saying, "I thank yon, mad-
atne, for this new method of making a lady s
acquaintance. It is much better and cer
tainly more" generous than kissing the
hand."
Tl.o lady jumped up highly indignant.
Who nre you, sir, and what do you mean?"
He gave his name.
"You are not. then, a corn doctor?"
"I am charmed to say, madame, that I am
not. '
liuKEliS IX APPLE TKEl'.S.
Now is a good time, says a writer in the
Jlural Sun, to cut outtheso pests vthero they
have not been attended to. A few days ago
I went over an orchard Hint had fallen into
my hands, and in one day's work think many
valitali'e trees have been saved. As many
as five full-grown borers were cut out of one
tree five inches in diameter. In some in
stances theso were found running up the
trunk six inches, nnd not over an inch apart
parallel. It takes very close searching some
times to find them. Sometimes a thin wire
cau be used with good effect when the knife
and chisel can hardly reach them. In quite
a number of instances I found that the spot
ted woodpecker had dono the work for me.
They seem to know-just where to liud them
when above ground, and rarely fail in bring
lng them out. They need not peck a large
placo at all times, as their hard pointed
barbed tongue can he insertcdandhnultheui
out. It should be a rule among all to let
theo useful birds live undisturbed. They
are tame, and boys aro prone to stone them
or, when beginning to shoot, practice on
these poor fellows. When a tree is complete
ly girdled by the borer or mice it can often
be saved by taking twigs of last year's growtli
cutting wedgo shape at both ends.and insert
ing in tho bark betow and above the injury,
thus conveying the sap through them, f hu
have we saved a valuable trade that would
otherwise not havo survived the summer,
After cutting out the borers fill up with
earth over tlio wounds and they will heal u
If not too severe.
Many of tlie present holders of tho land
In New Orleans conceded to Mrs. Myra
Clark Gaines by the decision of the Unite
States Circuit Court have petioned the city
autlurities to attempt a settlement of the
judgments against them, They say that so
far Mrs. Gaines has left them in possession
of the property, and has not attempted to
executo her many judgments, and that sho
announces her willingness to enter into any
reasouable arrangement with the city au
thorities by which they may retain possess
ion and be quieted iu their title.
Tiiu SllonrrAT Way. Singularly, no
ono stood up, when a wise man at a meeting
in Williamstowu, N. Y., to adopt measures
to find out who sets fire lo buildings, su?
gesled 1 'The sliortost way t3 get at tho root
of the matter would be lor tho man who set
lire to tho building to riso up in the audi
ence and own tho whole thing.'
A boy In the'Philadelphla House of Re
fuge, being dlsobedlent.was locked In a cell,
while his companions were e-ijoyiug a boll
day in the park. Ho felt so ill-u-ed ttiut
he hanged himself,
KATKS OF ADVI.RT1STMG.
arAcK.
Inolnch
1'v.o Inches
I liter I iirlics
in. fu. sm. ex. it
ijiki tuo U.ou 19 no 19.(0
s.in i.io r..w b.mi in.ee!
i.M, t in leo lt.no KOo
four Indu i
t:IKI J.i ooo ).' Ei'.n,
ouarler column.
r..eo a.no lii.no 16.10 c.oo
ilntf rnluinn In.on ls.no 18.no is.on woo
one column so.oo '.on o.do wi.no mojn
v,,arl mluM-llu-mr-tits iviThMn nunrtrrlv. Trail
slciit admtlsemontsinusl iK-iwidforbetorclnscrtco
li, em v.nc re panic iinvc nciuuiii-.
i , imb.Miu m hiKln-nftdilnrsticrtricliforthrcci
intX'Uli'iiK, and nt Unit rnl lor additional Insertions,
Mtuuul rtiirinco minimi. 1
Ktn-utiir's.Ainlnlstraior'" nud Auditor'! notice
throe dollars. Must lie paid for when Inserted.
Translentor l,ixml iiotuis, twenty cents aline
rcKUlarndvertlsetnintalialf rales.
Cards In tho "liiiMnem Director)" column, one
dollar per j ear for each line.
Items.
A bogus greenback Mock turtle.
Light bread cau be made with a gas-light
stove.
Hlrds aro 'not noted for courage, but
many dio game.
Eight thousand nnd sixly four languag
es aro spoken in the world.
A mnn calls his wife Sulphur because sho
is always a match for liim.
A good deal nf Attention is now given in
Florida to tho cultivation of rice.
The coachman of the period Is bland
ly requested lo de.n llttlo less hitching up.
A man who dies beforo ho is dead, Is
what Robert Collyer calls a misanthrope.'
Silver combs are in high favor. They
aro worn high In order lo demonstrate tho
fact.
Talmago hopes to meet his enemies in
Heaven, 'but uot for the first two or three
days.'
It is luckier to pick up a horseshoe than
to bo picked up by one attached to a
mule's leg.
A fashionable mania nmonc London
ladles at present is the collection of old
watch-cases,
A boy with his elbows out was asked
the cause, and replied, '1 laughed In my
sleeves till 1 burst them.'
A husband in this town calls his wife
Discipline.' Queer enough, too, ns lie is
unable tu maintain her.
Tho members of the Chinese legation in
Washington are strictly temperate, none of
them using ardent spirits,
A mosquito bar affords a good protec
tion from mo-quiloos, but a crowbar doeiii't
protect a corn-lie Id worth a cent.
A cotcmporary says, 'Tho old man of
ti.-lay aro nut what they Used to be,' Of
course not. They used to he boys.
'Have you a mother-in-law ?' asked n
man ol'ndisc.iiMolate-looking person. 'Nol'
ha replied ; 'but I've a father in jail.'
Noah was a practical tcmperaucc man
who lived oil rain w iter for forty days,
though Ham should lnvu made him thirsty.
It is .1 cnintis tact, if true that only
ttveivw member ol O.ingress have commit
ted suicide since the organization ol the gov
ernment. Why is It that the strawberry crop is
never ruined ? Is the agricultural enterprise
of the country all monopolized by the peach
growers ?
It speech is silver, then the floors of the
Senate and House utiv.ht to bo knee-deep in
trade dollars, halves, quarters, dunes, nnd
half-dimes.
Tho Philadelphia Times thinks the 13
one financial scheme on which all parties
can unite, namely, the abolition of twenty
cent pieces.
The Cincinnati Commercial does not be
lieve that an apple caused the fall of Adam;
but thinks it might havo been au orange or
banana peel.
There's no place like home just at this
time of the year. The woman tolks are
making it livelier thau tho most moral cir
cus ou earth.
A young ladv being asked if there were
many beautiful women in Washington, in
nocently replied, 'O, no, there are only six
of us at present.'
Two small but benevolent infants in the
park : '0, dear, my beetle's only dot five
egs.' 'Ureal: anozzer oft. Johnny, so he
won't be lame,' 1'ucl:
If the rich people knew what pressinc
need work-people Have of their money, they
would never send tbem away and tell them
to come another uay.
'Sub3Ctibers coming in at tho rate of
fifty a day,' said an editor ; and the rival
paper explained that they were coming in
to order their paper stopped.
A young man in Nebraska sent an of
fer ot marriage to a girl in Iowa whom ho
laticieu, ami in reply received this telegram:
Uome on with your minister.
The man who asserts ihat the Chinese
are uncivilized, probably tried to get his
Inrts from John s laundry ou tick. lno
Chinese do a cashce business.
Opium smokers find little toleration in
Japan. A man was recently sentenced to
ten years' hard labor in Yokohama for vio-
ition ol the law against the practice.
MUs Anna Oliver, who lias taken
charge of a Itrooklyu church, lias this finan
cial creed : 'Trust in God, Never spend a
dollar until it is in your pocket. Do your
utmost to help yourself.
The hoy that walks lame nrnund the
streets now, and looks pato and dejected, is
tno same gay aim utitiisome chilu ot joy
who but yesterday got caught slipping un
der the canvas at the circus.
Spring Woiik. Of all things, do not
get behind in the work In the spring. Drive
the work, nnd do not let the work drivo
you. If n had beginning is made, there
will probably be a bad ending.
Hon. John D. Van Iliircn. of Albany.
has, it is said, an umbrella that has been
in Ins family for ono hundred years. We
can't believe it, tinier the family entered
into a contract never to lend it.
You can kill two or three men in Texas.
nnd nothing thought nf it; but If you swear
in the presence of a lady, they will fine you
forty dollars. They are determined to dis-
courago Impiety. llattimore Aeies.
lie had just arrived at the Astor House,
fresh from Skowkecan. when ho heard a
hand-orga.i pealing forth 'Nancy Lee.'
'Dern my picter,' said lip, 'ef that toon
am t got us lur s rsoo Yorkv t uck.
A liny spider dropped from the ceiling
into a sleeping church-member's mouth, re
cently. It went down into the mammoth
cavern and pulled Its web in after it. An
other warning against sleeping in church.
A far-seeing managing editor says:
'Young men sending spring poetry to this
ollic will please enclose names and address
es ; not for publication, but as an evidence
of their insanity in case they are arrested for
murder.'
It is now said by a scientific authority
that steep commences in the feet and ex
tends to the head. Possibly the custom of
sitting witli tho feet towards the pulpit
mav have something to do with it. Imnern
J'ath Reporter,
The peach crop is going to bo usually
large, aud a very beautiful spring bonnet
can be bought for twenty-two dollars. This
announcement should send a thrill of joy
through the married mini's entire being.
Aorriaoii-it Ileratd,
'Where've you been theso two or thrro
ypars?' recently asked a Connecticut man of
u jovial old friend whom he met nn the
street. 'I've been in the whaling business,'
was the reply. 'You havo ?' 'Yes out
Wt teaching school,' explained tho re
turned wanderer.
Mrs. Sarah J. Hale wroto 'Maiy had a
Little Lamb' for thn amusement of In r
children, and when sho found it was to sur
vive all the more ambitious efforts, nnd was
to I'un-tiluto her sole title to endurirg
fame, she was very much dlgusled,
A San Fruncl'cn mancger is mid to
have itcently returned the manuscript of a
play to the author, w ith Iho following stig-ge-tinns
: Alter the first act so that thn hei
iriiie rubs the bank instead of defending It,
kinl 111 the Inst act make l.i r elude lb, d -tecttvesby
climbing up 11 ci.tnmct 1 ti it
slack rope, witli the safe slum- on her buck,
and then I'M produco your p i '