TUB COLUMBIAN.
L. n.mi BBocnAT,Tn Of Tim voutii ami count-oot-C"""-
MANCoNSOtinATKn.)
Issued vreckly, every Friday morning, at
nwu..:3iiuno, ooujmma county, pa,
.. n Mi.i.Atn per year, so co nts discount allovod
i'.nudlri advanoo, Attpr tho etiilrnllon ot tho
To suimcrllivrs out of the
,!, ; in i.tiih 'o per vonr, trletly In nrtvitiir.
,'' i- II -i utillnned, ii cpt nt Hi option of the
ii.
I hp
nxii nil uri'iiatees ur paid, but long.
,.i I i
111- uripr inn expiration oi ino nm
"''i 1 1 n M-ni ttt of Hi Statp or to distant post
i ins' In" pain lor in hii.uih-i-, unioBn n it-spun-
',, ', .i - in l.i Columbia county assumes toimy tlio
.lit iiiu ilno on tu-mnmi.
' i iii: is no longer oic.til from siibscrlhorsln
"job ii.TsrTi3sra-.
',.i, i, ! urn "'if J !' iTlniliiB llli"imporo favora- C.
Ill' i' 1'i'lmri iii'-ii' m iin- J ft-'i J
rt-iBamc"""'"''"
Columbia County Official Diroctory. I
i...nai,ii.nt fiulW-WIUtam r.lwell.
i -1 utpii dSs-I. K KrtoliMiim. P. t.bhuman.
'.. ;f..,l. .vn.-v, llllam Krlckbaum.
J. , ,rt -.i,-iiiitriiphcr--s. N. Walker.
,-i v it Hi inliT Williamson u. .jacooy.
i ti,irncy.--l'ob(-rt it. uitic.
Hit - Julill w. lioiiiiiuii.
. - i.i-n-i u Vtn'li tr I. '
,w in-r -II A sweppenliclser.
c , ,i iiisstoimrs Stephen folio, Charles lllcliart.
A,' VnV"','n'fWcicrk--r. Il.Casoy.
II. smith, W. Manning, 0. II. See-
sh ' i '
Elnllli.
i ninUalonera-RU ltobhlns, Theodora V.
- ,...inti.niient William II. Snvdor.
i ,1 I'poir DHtrlot-lilreotora-i!. K. lint, Scott,
wi.i. Krauicr, HloomsUurg and Thomas ltcccc,
.Joo'i.
Bloomsburg Official Diroctory.
it -i 1 nt of Town Oouncll-(l. A. Herring.
i mi, Paul l . Witt.
, i m iMilro-Jaa. C sterner.
i, i t nf uas rompany S. Knorr.
t,i in -'. V. Miller.
i,i i , i, .'.ui'i lunlilng company tohn X.FnnMon,
p . i i ii. II. uruii, cashier, John Toaooclf , Tel-
in.
;. r.
i in.i.il nn Cliartenlt. ration, "resident
,-Mlil, ''miller.
..iiiii Mnnint Baxlntr luml and Loan
, , i , i i -B. it. Utile, frosldcni, C.W.. Miller,
'"ii! i ,r i r r liutlrtln iimtSnrtng l'undAaaocIatlon
i v . . . I'ri'ttlent,.t. It. Itolilaon, secretary.
i 'i , . . mr ' M'i Hal "aMng Fund Asaoclallon ,1.
r iiru.'ir, iresldenM'. B. Wirt, Secretary.
CIIUlK'ir DritECTOllY.
I1A1TIHT CI1CKC1I.
i!i'. r. i", Tiitun, ituppiy.)
s In.I.lV -' nlivi-lii'j n. m,
and 6j p. ra.
Ml i ,ti sen, 101 y ii. ill.
r, i v ,t Muftiiig-nvery Wednomlay evening at ex
'- ' I 'i'"p. The public arc ItiTlled to attend.
T, VAWIIBWM tUTIHBAVCUrilCU.
'Huh er-iifv.o. I). H. Marolay.
i 1 1 iv i.n li'pa lo a. in. and 7)p. m.
- ii. ,1 1 . 'i'-lmol 9 a. in. . ....
,'i erMi'n.lng-Uiery Vednoid.-iy evening at T
'J free. TJoppvs ren'pd. All are welcome.
rKKIOVTKUIAIICtlOllCII.
'ti itsler-l'.ev.xinnri Mlnhcll.
, ,i. t n 1'vii'i-s-iovj n.tii. and Ax P-'o-
v! ,'"r M.'!'.'ln J-lXery Wednesday evening at Ctf
'..i.'s'tree. No ivwa rented. Strangers welcome.
MKTIIOI1HT KfHI'ni'At. CllCnCII.
aiding l'.ld"T Hev. w. r.vaue.
Mm ier-ltev. M. 1.. Smer.
-, i , lavRenlpes 1" and o p. m.
V ii'l'lals'-nvTri'Mond y evening at tH o'clock,
iv mg Men's l'r.ivcr IteoHng-Every Tucsda
",i,'''"1'mrCMe
T o'clock. .
RErointEn cnmicit.
comer of Third and Iron streets.
, ,stor Kov. W. K. iirelH.
it, .Mi'i.tv -Cnrnc r 4(li and Catliartro Pjrects.
it i., Si'rrte"? lovs a. m. and 7 p. m.
N miJ iV Sflicol u a. m.
rn. r lei'tlng situnlay. 1 p. m.
All uro lm lted Tlicro Is always room.
ST. I'U'l.'SCIIdlCK.
tti-ctor-Rcv 1.. Zalitier.
s ii. 1 1) Nrtrvleoi mi a. m., 7X P- to-
- 'iidav seliool'i a. in. .
Vti it snndav In the month, Holy communion.
s i -lees prepurntorv to Communion on lTIdaj
ovptiln'.' notoro tlio st Mindar In each month,
rows rented; hut everybody welcome.
EVANOEI.ll'AI. CIIl'KCII.
vr -liilng rirtr-r-llov. A. I,. Keoscr
MH'Hter-lii'V. (ieorgo Hunter. .,,k
s i U v K,Tvlec-2 p. in., in the Iron street Church.
11 i er Mci-tlng-lServ stbuatli at 2 p. m.
Allure luvlti'd. All .iro welcome.
ni, rin u. iioFciniisT.
Mcet't In "tin' lI'Me llrlek I'liurcli on the Kill.
known as the U elsh H.ipUst Church-on nock Mreet
'"f -fil'innci tirg mr worship, C(cry Lord's day nf
lcmTmlaum public are cordially Invited to
at ,.1
fK HOOIi OIlDKllS, Wank, "tit printcil am
1 ii fully bound In small books, on hand and
or sale at the Colombian omce.
IANK DKl'.DS, im l'arelim.'iit anil Linen
! r, common and for Admlulsi rators, 1-xecu
t", trustees, for fc.Uo cheap at tho coixmlian
oi .----
Vt (,V. r'KllTIKlCATK9.iiutprinled
tor salt' in ino i. (ii.umiiia.- tiiiiiv,
Mm im innil.Iusiici'sMioinu ouppij iuem-
UK tlit 1 ueiesoary aitlcioH.
1 IhTH'i'Sainl C
-lab',. ' rec-L'ill? for -ale
bee. They contain (tie enr-
i nr.' unon tn.i subject. Every Justlconndton
i 'c sibniiltt navoono.
V 7
YKNDl'K XOTF.5! just jiriiUi.it and Tor sale
( UPap nt tllO I Otl'SIBIAS onlec.
1 l Oi).MSHUJL(l JJIJiKC'lDHY.
1 uufKtMONAL CAHDH.
d. UAKKLKl', Attorney-at-I.aw. Oliiie
i , grower's building, 2nd Btury, llooms 4 J: 5
(
s
I!. KUlilSON, Attorney-at-Law.
in Ilartman's building, Main street.
Office
Ml I I, KNoRK. Altornc.v-at Law,OiI;ce
c i taiaii n uuikilng, Main street.
; M. ItrilKH, Surgeon anil Plivi
,iiu' Market tiei.1. Abo(otth Uast
: ! VANS, M. I)., Surgeon and l'liysi
, ,ii, (LilUce and liesldenco on Third street,
.
J.
'rrKKfA'Y. M. D.. Surceon and l'by
mi, iioKlisldo Mala street, below Matket.
I)
U J". C. KUTTKK,
t'llVKICIAN iSUnOEON,
OMcc, North Market street,
r.."74 Uloomsburg.ra.
T.lar.
I)'
I. L. KAIiB,
l'llACriCAIi DENTIST,
Main Sticct
Lur.-, l'a.
opposlto Kpiicopal Church, Blooms-
rir Teeth extracted without pain,
augm. M-ly,
HOW K h h,
DENTIST.
o,Hco In Uartmau's mock, second floor, corner
Main and Market btteets,
liLOOMSnUltCi, I'..
.May!0-ly.
MISCBLIANUOUS.
p M. DllIN'KKI!, OUN and LOCKSMITH,
sowing Machines and Machinery of Ml kinds re-
dalred. oi'EKA Hovsis llulldlng, unxmiiburg, ra.
D
WID LOWENIUMIO, Merclianl Tailor
Main St., abovo central noiei.
I
S. KL IIN, dealer in Meat, Tallow, clc.
. Centre, street, between Second and Third.
H
KOSENSTOCK, l'liotograplier,
, Clark & Wolt a Store, Main sti eet.
A IKJUS'H
V nathln Hoi
itl). 14, 'ID tf
Ilf'.nsi 1TS l'lil'UM). l'rsclical lifimeo.
HoraO and cow uoctor, iiiomsuurg, rn.
Y. KKSTEH,
IiIEHCHANT
TAII.OI!,
ltoumNo. is, OrKKA Hot'Ek ui'iuio, Iiioomsnurg.
airu,,!n9.
B
nliisll A.MEUICA ASSUItANX'E CO
.N.VWtiML rillE lNSVIUNt-n COMPANY.
Til,, r rt.. tnrm. Hid rortiorfltloiis ale all In.
v t 'illn solid sl.iUtrrils uiiUuru liable totho
nu, ru of lue only.
Mi ii. im . . iin, k nn i im bpi-r itt-l-sure air ne accented.
lr vi s i'i.omi'ti y ii tut uosvMi v iidliihtt d and rutd
0". ii - di ti rmtned bj ( iiiilsiiaM . hNAri',
cio Ac lit and AUJii-Ur, ll'w insburL', I'enn'a.
iin ilti 'ei.sil icluuil la uiujiij sl.uiilrt patronize
Hi' tIU) vLiTe Iii-m s, If uiiy, are adjubled und
paiu by ouecitbrironu (itucns, uov.m, n-jy
T?IlI S Ili:0V.N".S INSUKANX'E AO EX
i' CY, Kxcliango 1
i Hotel, Hloorabburg, l'a.
t'aDltal.
an Ins Co., of Hartford,
Connectlout... o,6on,(mo
'mi. London and Ulobo...,
, 0,IKll,0lO
, 13 6oo,oe
1 lit Mtcrpuu!
' tllJlllO
1 As .oblation, I'hlladelphla
1 rturs Mutual of Uainllle
' .i. vino Milium ,
Home, Now York. -
. 10.000.
. S.IOrt.OOO
, 1,0110,000
, ss.ooo
, 5,C1IO,000
S1.C.II,000
A (he amides are direct, policies are written for
li lnsurid v Itnout any dolay In the ofllco at lllooms-
Mu'rch 10,11 y
I. HAKT.MAN "
llLTUtKlMKTliE (0IL01MM1
' "Hill AN INr-l llAKCE C0J11ANI1-S
' li ni. ir Mum v I'eiinnivania.
' i i i ricunof rhliadefrhla, l'a
' IMI II' , (if '
1 1 ef '
i ' 1 1 , l'a.
r , ew Yi-rk.
I tl , I 1 ,,f M
crLu on MarUt fctttet No. c, Uloombburg, l'a,
.UV0,-ly.
B, BROCF.WAY, 1 .,.. . , ,
iJJi"i jis.mi-
LAWYintS.
15. WALIjEIt,
Attornoytvt-T.nw.
Itercase ef PceeIchs ebtaiuei, CelJeeUens ruadc.
Ofllcp, Second doorfrom 1st National Hank.
llLOOJIsnUItd, I'A.
Jan. 11, ma
Nu.
FUNK,
AttOYTiuv-nt.-T .nw.
Incrcato of l'cniori9 . Obtained. Collections
JMtulc.
III.00JIS11UH0. I'A.
onico In Knt's Hcildiko.
3KOUKWAY & KI.WKLL,
A T TO II N K Y S-A T-Ij A W,
cot.citAs tuntniHo, Bloomsburg, ra.
Metrbers of the United states Law Association.
Oollectlona londo In any part of Amnion or Enror'O
Q i: "& w. j.nucKALFAv,
A TTOHNEYS-T.IV,
nioomsbnrg. Pa.
Office on Main Street, first door oelowt otirtllouse
TOIIN' M. CIjAllK,
ATTOHNKY'-AT-LAW,
niooinsburg, I'a.
Offlcs over Schuyler's Hardwato store.
P. RILUIEYEI!,
ATTOliNHY AT LAW.
OFFH'KIn Harmon's llulldlng, Main street.
jiioomsourg, i'a.
II. LtTTI E. KOB'T. H I.1TTUE.
E.
II. A K. K. Lirri,E,
ATTOItNEYS-AT-LAW,
Bloomsburg, l'a.
Q W.-MILUnt,
Al lUI.MiV-AT-LAW
onicoln Urower's building, second floor, room No.
llloomsburg, l'a.
LJEItVEY E. SMITH,
ATTOltXKY-AT-LAW,
Ofllco In A.J. i:van's New licit.tiiNd,
HI.OOMSIiriKl. PA.
Mcmbrr of Commnclal I-aw and Il.ink collection As-
hociauoii. oct. 14, 'it-tr
B. 1,:
UK Z.VItlf,
Attovnoj'-at-T .ti-vv-.
Iil.OOMSlIUItO, I'A.
onice In I'namct's 'leaniso, on Main street f ccond
tioor aooe centre.
(!nii bti consulted in German.
Jan. 10, 'in-tt
CATAW ISrfA.
I-, kykrly;
Al 1U101,1 "A l"l,AW,
catawlssa, Pa.
Collections nron.ntlv made and remitted, ortlco
oni osito cataw tssa Deposit uank. em-3s
II. Abbott. W. H. Hiiaws.
AIJ1IOTT & 11 II AWN,
Altovnoy.s-at.-Luw.
CATAWISSA, I'A.
l'ensions obtained.
flec2i,'i7-iy
BL00MSBU11G TAMER r.
G. A.
HERKING
T ESPECTEUEEY announces to tho public
SXYDKIVS TANK EH Y,
(nlrt stand) liloomsbur,. pa., at tlio Voiks of the CS'
by atid Ltslit Mrpi-t roads, ihciv nil (li'srrtptlons of
,niiv-i h in mum- tit uir hiuti runstniumi iinu
oiknuiilllifuiuiniu r nmt sold nt nrircs to butt tlio
nil; n. iuu iiiKiicoL imtu iu uiipu in ut tin iiuiuo w
4 igi
()HI, EN HIDES
of every description In the country.
Ihe publicpat-
ron (go Is respei fully solicited.
luuomsourg, uci. i, is,n
THE CHEAT ENCEIsill UEMEDY I
GRAY'S SPE0JFI0 MEDICINE
mADE MARK Isesnfclftllyi-ecom-TRADE MARK.
mi'iidt',1 as un tin-
(ailing euie for sem
inal weakness.'-per-niuUirrlu'.i,
im po
tency, and nltillea
Wft, suebas l.nss of
ineniorv, t'nKersal
liiKhitude, i'ala In
tin. Hunt- lllntni.au
iieloro XailBgot biun, rroma-.,. n'-lrin,
fnnnv nthpr rdspaspa that lead to Insanlty.C'onsumn-
(Ion and a Premature ciiKe, all of wlitchasariilo
are tit st canned by deviating from Hie rath of nauiro
and over Indulgence. 'Ibo Spicule Medicine Is tho
reiiultot a lite study and many years of experience
In Keating these special diseases.
Fun particulars in our pumpiiieis,ineu nu ucbiiu
10 aentl (leo ny man io eeJ une.
n'liu innMri' Mr niritif' is in ti nv nu iiruL'L'iMS Hi i
ner nackiire. or six nacKavcsior or win no sent
by mall on iicolpt of ino money ny aauressiDg
TUT. Oil AY MEDICINE CO.,
No. 10, Mechanic's Block, lctrott, .Mich,
Sold In llloomsburg by C. A. Kklrc, and by all
I,rdfc'Slst30'.cryvli.'r;;.i
sept. c. ns-tr
Dauchy 8c Co'h. Advt's.
C OfH returns lu so daya on SI0( Invested or
I ''III J iieial ri?noru tind. liiformatlon I'llKK.
AddR'iiS T. POTTfclt WlUUTti, CO., llANkltRS W S Ull
fit! S&WWfS b
lurk.,iiM I'ltrL-ill.,, Pills tl'akt! New ltli-U blood
and win eomoii'ti'iv tnauiro ino union in ui"uiiiuu
M stem In three months, Any person nho wlJ tako
,11 ,.,- l t, - ,T fmm I t,l 1 U't'HkS 1111 OQ ri'SlOl'l'
osuuud bikini Usui li u (Ling be puaslblc. senlby
mall lur s le ttt'i' stami s.
. s. .iiiiinsoii .s. ii o. n:iiKor, .name
.March ss, '7SI-4W u
jjarlli-Hilei' I Holore IH13 1" a
PIANO or 'H CJAN
Ilo not lull 10 send lur iny latest an page Illustrated
New spin er with muth aluublu Infuiinatloti FltKi..
Ni:v 1'IANOs, tu:. nnd upwards, NEW oli-
11 NS, fSTi ti 1(1(1. ill. nl ill. 10 ruu mo 1 t-iuru uuj
lug elsewhere. 1'nyiitt: ofImitatobs. Address
1 1 A. 11.1. T . 111, , uiiwiti-7"! '
April 11, '7V-4W d
i (iii.vr-
A helling
diicd 3a (K'r
(ill.vr VANTi:i-l'or thobosc and fastest
g rtcicriaj ijooks auu uiuiua. t nwa ic-
rccct. National ithusiiino co iiiu-
adelphia, l'a. d April 11, h-jw
in M'A 01 flflA Invested In Wall stieet
It) I U O 1 1 1 III f stocks makes foi tunes e(
erj month, book sent free expl.ilnliigetrytlilng.
Address UAXTEIt SCO., iiankkks, n huii sirrei,
New York, d uprumiMw
AC1EXT4 WANTED for Smith's Hlblo Dictionary
amiiini.JiAN's. pffrrnRTAT. TURTRS
Prices i educed. Circulars f ice. A J. llnl.MAN &
Cli l ullivdelpbla, d April 11,'ItMW
"ZSSxnuESie
BENSON'S CAPCINE
POROUS PLASTER.
Tltf-n, l nn flmibt nbnut (Iin irioat sunorlorKv
cf (his article dm i cniiiinnu pomus plasters unit
oilier extprniil r metili's, -m Ii ns liniments, elie
1 rlcol appliances, A e V-k Physicians la your ow li
im-ulltj alsiut It It Is wondi mil. sold by drug
guta. 1'ilco 55 ctuu, d apr.U.'m-jw
j-mrammnaifn" iwsinm
f,?1 K." "r "('k.u.u.l'u.-m.Homw
IU.IU1," man Lund CuuiliUliii.tr, Mini, kus
April II, 'BMW U
bite W. nggfe
Ut T. HELMBOLD'S
co3sc3?oxTJsrr
FLUID EXTRACT
PHARMACEUTICAL
tV SPE0IFI0 REMEDY FOR ALL
DISEASES "
01' THE
BLADDERS KIDNEYS
For Debility, I-osa of Aremorv,
Indisposition to Exertion or 15usi-
nefffi.bliortncss oi JJicath, J roubled
with Thoughts of Diseiise,Diinnc.s
of Vision, Pivin in tho Haek, Chest
and Head, Hush of Klood to tho
Head, Palo Countenance and dry
Km.
If thes'e symptoms are allowed
to go on, very frequently I'jiilop-tie-
Fits and Consumption follow.
When the constitution beeoincs af
fected it requires tho aid of an in
vigorating medicine to strengthen
.nut tone up the system which
"Helmbold's Hucim"
DOES IN EVERY CASE.
HELMBOLD'S J3UG11U
IS UNEQUAI..KD
By any remedy known. It Is prescribed by tho mobt
eminent physicians all over tho world, in
Rheumatism.
Spermatorhuoa,
.Neuralgia,
Nervousness,
Dyspepsia,
Indigestion,
Constipation,
Aches and Pains,
General Debility,
Kidney Diseases,
Liver Complaint,
Nervous Debility,
Epilepsy,
Head 1 roubles,
Paralysis,
General 111 -Health,
Spinal Diseases,
Sciatica,
Deafness,
Decline,
Lumbago,
Catarrh,
Nervous Complaints,
i'cmiuo Complaints, ifcc.
Headache, Pain in the Should
ers, Loutrh, iJizzmess, fcouv totom-
ach, Eruptions, Rad Taste in the
Mouth, Palpitation of the Hear
Puin the region of tho Kidneys,
and n thousand other painful symp
toms arc the olfspringsof dyspepsia.
HELMBOLD'S BUCHU
Im iguratcs (lie .Stomacli,
And stimulates the torpid Liver,
Rowels and Kidneys to healthy ac
tion, in cleansing the blood of all
impurities, and imparting new life
and vigor to the whole system.
A single trial will bequite suffi
cient to convince tho most hesitat
ing of its valuable remedial quali
ties. PRICE $1 PER BOTTLE,
Or Six Hollies lor $".
Delivered to any address free from
observation.
"Patients'' may consult by letter
receiving the same attention as by
calling, by answering the following
questions :
1, Cilo your namo aad post-onico addiess,
county and state, and your nearest express onloe 7
!. Your ago and sot ?
8, iieoiipatlon t
j; Married urrlnglo?
5. Height, weight, now nnd In health"
C, How Ions havo ou Ken sick 7
T. Y'our complexion, color of hair and eyos t
8. llaio you a stooping oreiect gait:
, Iterate utt'iout rokcrvatloo all jou know about
jour case. neloso one dollar as consultation fee
Your letter will then receive our attention, aniwc
wlllBlioyou the natuie of your dhteaso'n.n4 our
candid opinion couocrnlut: a cure.
Competent physicians attend to correspondents,
All letters should be addressed to Dlspeufcatory,
IS U, FUbert street, Philadelphia l'a.
21. T. HELMBOLD,
Druggist and Chemist,
l'lIILAIIELVlIlA, I'A.
mm uviiitYmiuiii:
March T.isn-ly
BLOOMSBURG, PA.,PHIDAY, APRIL J8.
Poetical.
A SONG OF EASTER.
ny cklu TiiAXTnit
Ping, children, sing I
And tho lily eetners nwitia i
Sing, that life and joynro wnUing and that
Dentli no more m king.
Sing ilio Imppjr, bnpy tumult, of tlio slowly
brighten i rig Spring ;
Sing, little children, ting 1
Ring, children, sing I
Winter wild has taken wing.
Fill the nir with the swoet tidings till the froMy
ocnoesrmgl
Along tlio eaves the icicle no longer glitter-
ing cling i
And the crocus in the garden lifts itl bright
faco to tho sun,
And in Ihe meadows softly the brooks begin to
ran
And tlm golden cilkins swing
In the warm nirs of tho Spring ;
Sing, little cliiltl ron, sing I
Sing, children, sing I
The lilies whlio you bring
In the joyous Easter morning for hope are bios
somipg (
And as tho enrlii-her shroud of snow from off
her breast doth lliug,
So uiny we find release nt last from sorrow nnd
from pain,
So mny wo find our childhood's calm, de
licious dawn again.
Sweet nro your oyes, O litllo onos, that look
with smiling grace,
Without a shade of donbt or fenr into tho I'u-
t urn's faco 1
Sing, sing in happy chorus, with joyful yoicos
tell
That denlli is life, and God i.s good, and nil
tilings shnll bo well ; ,
That hitter days shnll ceao
In wnrnith and light nnd p,"ico,
That Winter yields to Spring,
Sing, litllo children, sing I
In St XicJtolog.
Select Story.
THE BACHELOR'S SURPRISE.
A chill December evening with tlio rain
nnd snow funning a diaagrooablo sort of
conglomeration o i the sidewalks, the gas
lamps nt the corner dickering sullenly
through the mist, and the wind taking ouo
viciously as ono came around tho corner.
Not a p!enant evening to asstimo possess
ion of a new homo ; but necessity know.s no
law, nnd Mr. Ilarkd.ilo put his night-key
into the red brick houso in tho middle of
the block, sincerely hoping that his new
landlady would have) common scno to light
a fire in the grate.
'Is it you, sir ?' Mrs. Hiumaii quoth,
beamingly. 'There's u good fire, and it's
all right.'
'AH right, cli ?' said tho bachelor, feeling
tho blue tip of his frostred nose to see
whether it hud escaped being frozen off en
tirely. 'Well, I am glad to hear that.
Ilavo the trunks como ?'
'Oh.yw, sir ; nnd tho other things ?'
'What other thing
liarkdalc.
demanded Mr.
Hut Jlrs. Ilinman pursed her lips up.
I wn-n't to tell, sir, please.'
Itutherrm pciwotric old ladv.' thouebt
Mr. liarkdale. imahini; past her to tho third
stnrv front room, which ho had solemnly en-
gaged the day before.
It had been rather a dark and dingy lit-
tio ilpn liv tlm lit'ht of the moon, but noiv.
softened by the coral shine of a well-filled
grate, it wore quite another aud a brighter
aspect.
'Velvet paper on the walls, gilt paneling,
red carpet, and Sleepy Hollow chair,'
thought Mr. liarkdale, glancing around.
'Not bo uncomfortable, after all, W hen I
get my things unpacked it will seem quite
homelike.'
He set down his valiso in the corner, de
liberately opened it, took out a pair of slip
pers and invested ills tired feet therein.
Next he laid off ills overcoat,
'Now for a cigar,' thought ho.
Hut tho brown-layered weed was yet in
his hand when there was a bustle, and a
'hitter, and a whisper, and a merry noise
on the landing outside, nnd the door Hew
open, as if by magic, to admit half a dozen
blooming, laughing girls.
Mr. liarkdale dropped his cigar and re
treated a step or two.
'Don't be alarmed,' said tho tallest and
the prettiest of tho bevy ; it's only a stir
prise.'
A very agreeable one, I'm sure,' said our
friend, recovering in some degreo his pres
ence of mind.
There's no mistake, I hopesaid a yellow
tressed blonde, 'Your name is uot Green
field ?'
No mistake nt all, I as-uro you,' said
Mr. liarkdale, 'Of courso it is not Green
field. Sit down, ladles.'
And lie pushed forward the Sleepy Hollow
chair,a camp-stool and two rheumatic recep
tion chairs, which wore all tho accommodn
tions presented by his apartment.
liut instead ol accepting his courtesy Ihe
girls all fluttered out again, giggling, and in
a second, beforo he could realize his strange
condition of affairs, they were back again,
bearing benches and u table cloth, dlshos,
boquets, a pyramid oi macaronics, piiecl-tip
plates of Aimlwlchei, of frosted cake, and a
mysterious somotniDg iiko unto an ice-cream
i .... i
ireeier,
The golden-tressed girl clapped her
nanus.
You needn't think wo aro doing lliis for
you, sir,' she said.
Vili' iml.1 Mr. Rirkdnlp. bashfullv. 'I I
hadn't any such Impression,'
'It's nil a stirpriso desigucd for Kate's
cousin
Is It?' said Mr. liarkdale, more in the
dark than over.
Aim now do you suppo,o wo loiinu it an
out I uemaiinpu lliu (ail girl Willi Hie
AI 1 J . 1 il... ...fit. 1.
L.,-l- 1 . 1... fnll.,. (.. (.-
mac rv mm .wi.
"at-
I haven't tho loat idea,'
'We found your 'etter to Kate, and we
girls read it, and wo resolved to tako both
you and her by surprise, (sue is to ue nere
in hull nu Hour, narbara- mat is namara
Mortis lu the blue merino uress.'wiiu a turn
of her long lashes toward the golden-haired
girl 'pretends that she has moved hero, and
Kate is to come nnd spend the evening with
I Barbara. Wou't It be a good joke V
'Slupendoiij I' said our hero, critdnitlty
.bcglnillng to conipreliend tlm fact that ho
was mistaken for snnio ona clfo.
What, will Kate say when flio sees
you hero?' ejaculated rtuother inald mer
rily.
'Ah I What, Indeed ?' said .Mr. Ilarkdnlo
wondering In what words lie could best ex
plain molten.
'Of ooure we shall look tlio other way
wlillo you are kl.iiip;aud hugging her,' said
Slim Itarliarii demurely.
'Very considerate of you, I am sure,' ob
served .Mr. lSarlidalc.
'eho a tho sweetest girl In New York,' ex-
cwimitl the tall damsel, ctitmulastlcally. 'I
nm "o hgr dparest ftlemls. Wo work
our sewInB-niaclilnott sido by sido nt .Mad-
"II1B Orlllnrd's. Ilnsn't she oyer written to
you about Alien Aloore ?
'I I don't jut nt this moment recall that
she ever has,'
'Oh, well, It doesn't matter,' said Alice.
'.Inst you sit down and bp a good boy, while
we fix tho tables. Aicn't those roses beau
tiful V My goodness gracious, how as
tonished lviito will be.'
'She ctn't bo nioro so than I am,' said Mr.
liarkditlr, sinking into tho Sleepy Hollow
chair, and passing his handkerchief vaguely
ncriM his forehead. 'Well, it's a mere mat
ter uf fate ; I can't see how I am to explain
myself j yet, .perhaps I ought to explain
'Htnlcsii-sh,' cried tlio six pretty girls, all
in n hissing chorus ; "Kate's coining ; lies
sie lias brought her. 'Hush-sh-sli 1 Don't
say a word, Mr, Greenfield.' The golden
haired girl's hand was clapped promptly over
his mouth. Alico Mooro grasped his arm
spasmodically, and tho oilier four danced a
surt oi'bowltchltig little feminine war-dance
about him, while 11 seventh girl entered a
pretty, Madunna-faccd little creaturo like a
duve.
'Como and kiss him, Kate,' cried all tho
other'. 'Now, don't be ridiculous, ior
we shan't tako any notice. Utro he is !'
'Kiss who ?' crif d Kale, standing still and
staring nil around. (Jirls, what on cartli do
you menu ?'
You provoking thing 1' said ll.iriiara,
stamping her little foot. 'Do you suppose
we are all fools ? Why, of course we know
all about him I It's Mr. Greenfield your
cousin, Kate the young M. D.'
Kate looked around in bewilderment.
Where's
'Why, here!'
'Nothing of tho sort I' said Mias Kate,
demurely.
Our hem stood up, feeling himself grow
ing uncomfortably warm and red.
'Ladies,' he said, 'there's snmo mistake
here, I said, at the outet that may name
was not Greenfield.'
'There I' cried the girls all once.
'There !' echoed Kate defiantly.
'Didn't wo tell you V cried thegirls.
'Didn't I tell you?' retorted Kate. 'He
kind enough to let us know what your name
is sir.'
'Cephas Batkdalo I' said the wretched vic
tim of a inisunder.iauding.
'Hut,' said Jlus Moore' 'you said it was
nut Greenfield.'
Of course I did 1' said tlio puzzled bach-
lor. 'It isn't Greenfield, nnd it never will
',e unless I have it changed by an act of
legislature
Oh-h I cried tho girls. 'Dear, dear, to
l,e uro 1 Ai u we thought you were Kato s
lover ami ins namo is a-o-cloublo-t -Nott
Greenfield.'
'Do hold your tougue, you ridiculous
things 1' said Kate, half vexed, half laugh
mg, 'niiat must -Mr. liarkdalo think- ot
us
'I think you are very nice,' said Mr. Iktrk-
dale, gallantly.
Aliss Il.irbnra in tho meantime had tnkeu
a slip ot paper out of her pocet.
She uttered a hysterical shriek.
It s all my fault, she exclaimed. It was
No. 39 instead of No. 3(i and tho tail of
the horrid figures turned the wrong end up
that's all. And tho cake, and the flowers,
and everything,'
'Stop, 'ladles, if you please,' said Mr.
liarkdale, courteously, 'llecaii;o the sur
prise has como to tho wrong placo is uo reas
on why the right person should not enjoy it.
Allow me to give up this room to your uao
this evening. I will just step across the
street and send Mr, Nott Greenfield over.
liut you must return with him,' said the
girls.
And Mr. liarkdale was not allowed to de
part until he had promised.
Mr. Nott Greenfield a good looking med
ical student who had "sky parlor" directly
opposite came promptly on mention of the
name of Kate Kclllnrd, and did the polite
tiling in introducing Mr. liarkdale j and Mr.
llaikdale nlo of tho sandwiches, and enjoyed
tlio cake and cream,aud coaxed MUs Barbara
to plu a pink rosebud in tho button hale of
his coat, aud enjoyed himself prodigious-
I'd liko to be surprised like this every
night in the year.
Oh, you greedy creature,' said Miss Har
bara.
Iiut there was one tlmo I seriomly medi
tated throwing myself out of tho window,'
said he, 'when you told mo I was to kiss
Kate.'
'Hut tho awkwardness ot the thing 1'
'I dare say you never kissed a pretty girl,'
pouted Ibo blonde.
I never did, (aid the bachelor, growing
hM .Lut I will now, if you say so.'
jiut I don't say so,' said Barbara, col-
orlng and laughing, 'Bchavo yourself,
air-
sr. n,lri,,i.,i .,.,,. i,nm ,..(,(, i(, r.
Darbara, and they crew to be very great
friends, nnd where s tho use trylus to con
ceal how It ull ended ? They wero married
at tlio years end, with all the surprUers fur
bridesmaids, Kato Kellford Included. -Mr,
Nott Greenfield proposes to follow tho ex
ample as soon as he gets his diploma.
A Hit and a MisoI A young lady was
sitting with a gallant captain in a charm
lni.lv iloi'i irntpil rppnss On Imr tnm, t,-na n
,,.,,,..,.. ,.,, ,,, .,, .
I ' - - , -
.,on.n l,, ,(, ..IL.tnl,,,, rnnm .vltl, ll,n
I J ' B ,
door open, were Ibo rest of the company,
I Stuva (ho lilllp iitei-p. In ii ienlnlts nnil vprv
audible voice .'Auntie, kiss me. too.' Any
oae C!l imR!Iino what had lint happened.
'yuu should say twice, Ethel dear, two is not
grammar,' was the Immediate rejoinder.
Clever girl, that.
Sulfur not illsappoinlmenl by employing too
many "cures s" but far ihe disease of Infancy
use iJr. nun s.uaby eyrup wiuui never utiap
I points, anu coses uny cems a botue
MNWttnmnKiviHt
1879.
tiii: mai'm: sikiai: season.
Tho maplo sugar days havo corns, tho
sweetest of tho year, when little cakes, nnd
big ones, too, aro sold bo nwfully dear. We
sto the sugar in big brown cakes in some
windows and In straw colored cakes iu oth
er windows, and the iironrlelors of tho
first assure us that tho deep brown color is
a proof of Its genuineness, nnd the proprie
tors of tlio second say they wouldn't keep
tlio brown articloon any cotniderntlon. The
sign iu tho shop windows raises suspicion :
Uenuitio' maplo sugar, This naturally
suggests that somo other placo keeps maplo
sugar that is not genuine. 'Maplo sugar
warranted puro.' Then thero must bo qual
ities not strictly pure. Happily, however,
nono ol tills Mull' is kept in Detroit in can
easily bo proven by tho signs iu tho win
dow?. Every storekeeper iu tho city will nt
onco acknowledge that ho keeps only the
pure article. Many simple persons think,
misled by tho name, perhaps, that maple su
gar is made from maple trees in somo man
ner or other, but whether tlio trees nro
grown up or not they nro not exactly cer
tain. Iu olden limes it must be admitted
that mapie sugar did havo its origtn inma
ple sap, but modem science lias made gi
gantic strides In advance of these crude old
lashioned ways of our ancestors. At this
time of the year a loug tlmo ago n sort of V
was cut on the maples about lour feet from
tlio ground. An upward blow from an ax
uuder the V cut a gash in which was in
serted tho wooden spout, and then into the
wooden troughs, or perhaps buckets, steadi
ly dripped the sweet life-blood of tho maple.
Then tlio boy came along witli the sled gen
erally drawn by oxen, who made Irantio en
deavors to drink the sap as they passed the
brimming troui(hs. On tlio sled was n bar
rel, which when filled, was taken to tho
camp where seethed the steaming caldrons
over tho Jlieicc fire. Hero tho barrel was
emptied into tho largo tank which supplied
tho big open iron kettles suspended ever
tlio lire. Then came thp sugar-off. And
with it came thy neighboring young muii
and maidens to a-sist iu eating the rapidly
forming sugar. Tho sugar-oil' was always
a big time. There was a great deal of sweot
talk indulged in, of course. If there was still
some snow left it was very useful The thick
boiled sugar was ladled out and poured hot
into the cool snow. The result was a waxy
substance lhat had a sort of remote relati n
ship to the tally they give us nowadays.
It was sweeter than n sister and stuck closer
than a brother when it got a goou relUMe
hold in a person's mouth. These were tho
good old times when maplo sugar sold for
five cents a pound, before we got into th
improved method of manufacturing it from
brown West India sugar and Lake Huron
sand. However, wo still respect th" maple
sugar season, and don't dust off fi- ink-'
and bring them to the light of day except i i
early spring, when genuine- maplo sugar is
made. Dttroit Free Pros,
llUUSKIIOM) CliEANMNKSS 120 YEARS Au'O.
It Is tho fashion to nisunio that cleanliness
in its thoroughgoing, all-pervading aco-pia-lion,
was tho quality for which households
of tho old stamp were distinguished. Where
tho mistress nnd her daughters held strict
supervision that would bo so; but we have
now and then an insight into tilings as they
were, where this eye was wanting which tells
another talo. A certain Will Verral's ex
periencjs are s j much to the point that we
will give them, as chancing upon them in
our reading, though wo have seen them
quoted not very long since elsewhere. Will
was inn-keeper and man cook, of Lewes, in
Sussex, employed by tho gentlemen of the
neighborhood to cook their state dinners for
them. He published a cookery book tho
dalo of 17C0 and wrote a preface to it
which shows him master of a picturesque
stylo : 'I havo been sent for many and many
a limo to get dinners for many of the fami
lies hereabouts. Tho salute generally is,
'Will' (for that is my name), 'I want you to
dress me a dinner to-day,' 'With all my
neart, sir,' says l ; 'now many win your
company be ?' 'Why, about ten or twelve,
or thereabouts.' 'And what would you plae
to have mo get, sir, for ye? 'Oh,' says the
gentleman, 'I shall leave that entirely to
you, etc. My next sep was to go and offer a
great many compliments to Mrs. Cook about
getting the dinner. Tlio girl, 1'il say that
for her, returned Ihe compliment very pret
tily by saying, 'Sir, whatever my (master or
you shall order me to do shall be done as
far and as well as I am able.' Hut Nauny
(for lhat I found to be her name) soon got
into such an air as often happens upon such
occasions. 'Pray Nanny,' says I, 'wliero do
you place your stewpaus and other things
you make use of in the cooking way ?' 'La,
sir, says she, that is all wo have,' (pointing
to ono poor solitary stewpan, as ono might
call it, but no more fit for the use than a
wooden hand-dish). 'Umphi' says I to my
self, how's this to be? A surgeon may as
well attempt to make an incision with a pair
of shears, ot open a vein with an oyster
kiulo, as for mo to pretend to g.t this din
ner without proper tools to di it.' At
length, wanting a selve, I begged of Nanny
to give me one; and so aim did in a moment
but such anno! I put my fingers to it
and found it gravelly, 'Nanny,' says I, 'this
won't do ; it is sandy.' Sho looked at it,
and angry 'enough she was. 'Hot our Sue,'
says she, 'she's always takiug myseivoto
(and her nasty, dirty stairs.' But, however,
to be a little cleanly.Nnnny gave it a thump
on the table, much about tho part of it where
tho meat is generally laid, and whips it into
the boiler, where I suppose tho potk and
cabbage wero boiling for the family, gives it
a sort of a rinse, nnd gave it to me again
with about as much of the pork fat about it
as would poison tho whole dinner ; so I
said no more, but could not uso it, and made
use of n napkiu that I slyly made frieuds
wilh her fellow servants tur, at which she
Kered round and setoff; but I heard her
sny, ns she llirted her tail into the scullery.
Hung those men cooks, they are so con
founded nice! I'll be whipped, says she, 'if
there was mure sand in the seivo than woull
lay upon n sixpence '-Jlluciu(jod't Maya-
-much ot tlio meat soul In Loudon as
prime English beef is American. American
beef sent over iu refrigerators is juntas good
m English many think it better. At ono
of ih first clubs lu London leeently thero
er- served an English and n American
siiioin of beef, aud no one could tell the
d Ikrence', Hungarian and Bohemian beef,
to ,, U coming into tho London market at 12
ceuts a pound, and much game, especially
phoasauts, from Bohemia.
THE COI.UMMA'N, VOU XIII, NO.KJ
COLUMIIIA DEMOCRAT, VOr,.XMV, NO.
ANCIENT l'i:i)ESTitlAMSM.
Among tho most famous of walking match
el nro thosa recorded l.l military history,
where to tho obstacles of heavy burdens and
difficult grounds wero added those of tlmo
and space. Tlio march of the heavily armed
Spartans in 109 H. 0., froai Licodant'itt to
Marathon, coveting 150 miles of nlmo-t
roadless country in three days, Would have
oarned high commendation in nu age of
sporting papers, The Consul Nero's march
to the MetatirtK, to surprise tho Carthlglui
ana (201 H. 0.) lasted two days awl a night
with tlie" slightest possible intermission, tho
soldiers taking food from the hands of tho
country people, and oatlng it as they wont.
Hannibal's retreat from zVitna upon Car
thage, brought him to Amlriuncntum,
sixty-three miles distant, betwoeu dawn
and night-fall, tho purjulng Homans acoom
plMiing thesamo distance in even less lime.
Crwar's Tentli Legion achieved a parallel
feat in Gaul, while lu heavy marching or
der. The llernese Swia, when summoned
to aid those of Solcuie In repelling nn inva
sion, are said to havo answered the call so
promptly that tho newly baked loaves which
they carried with them wero barely cold on
nrrival. Frederick Ihe Great, on the hottest
day of tlio terriblo summer of 1700, had a
kind of raco with Marshal Daun for the oc-
cupation of nn important post, both armies
making such speed that 200 Prussians and
300 Austrian dropped dead on tho line of
march from sheer exhaustion. Frederick's
younger brother, Henry, during the same
war, marched for fifty hours, with only three
inlervcnlng halts. Napoleon's 'Old Gusrd'
repeatedly made sixty miles iu a day during
the great campaign of 1813 ; and ono of the
Russian regiments In Central Asia Is stated
on good authority ,to havonccomplished sev-
cnty-elght. The similar exploits achieved
during the Indian mutiny, of 1837, and tho
American civil war of 1SG1-5 nro too well
known to need r- petition,
SCOTCH OEN'TIiEWOJIEX IN DIKFICUliTIBS.
Among the trades uiustsnitablo for women
m ly bo mentioned ovcry form of millinery
and dress making, all the lighter work of
linen drapers' shops, tho lighter work of
book sellprs' and print shop3,certain branch
es of jewe'ers' work, house decorators' and
china merchants' busines". Colipges for
nurse, schools of cookcrr and schoils of
art needlework afford resources for women
which did not exist fifty years ago. Hut
many more occupations, which ued to bj
considered the peculiar property of women,
have somehow slipped out of their hands
and passed into those of men who could dig
and lift heavy burdens, cross tho seas and
bo the pioneers of a new civilization. Not
only worsted and fancy work shops, but what
aro called furnishing shops, glove shops, toy
ops, bun houses for the s iloot butis, cakes,
1 smaller confectionery, and the retail
trade iu toa, wero formerly regarded to a large
exlent as belonging to tho province of worn-
en not unfrequcntly of poor gentlewoman,
Some ot the readers of these observations
may recall old stories of Scotch ladies of
rank earl's daughters who, after tlio fail-
ures of the Darien expedition and the Jacob"
ito rebellion, stoutly maintained themselves
and their children by making and selling
thread andby keeping shops of small wares.
Other readers, who nro admirers of Mrs.
Gaskell's writings, will surely think of her
geutlti Miu Matty, tlio late rector's elderly
daughter, who, ou the failureof a bank an.1
its disastrous conscquences.set herself to pre
serve ner meek, modest independence by sel
ling tea in Cranium ; and, as a parting
word tho present writer begs to explain that
she does not intend by any means to imply
that trndo asks no distinct qualification aud
uo particular training, only that ihe qualifi
cations are les rare, Ihe training is not so
arduous, and may bo acquired later lu life
above all the remuneration to industry and
prudence is far nioro certain. If thu young-
er of the good gentlewomen will but revive
the good precedent, if they will take heart
and cast small prejudices to the winds, their
latter end may, indeed bo better than their
beginning. Oooif WonU,
SIIAKESI'EAUE'S EAIihY MAIIUIEU MFK-
Tho Hathaways had lived in Shottery for
forty years prior to Shakespeare's marriage,
Tho poet, then wholly undistinguished, had
just turned eighteen, while Ins bndo was
nearly twenty-six, aud it is often said now
that she did very wrong to wed this boy-
lover. They wero married in November,
15S2, and their first child, Susanna, came
in tho followiug May. Anno Hathaway
must havo been a wonderful fascinating wo
man, or Shakspearo would not have loved
her ; and sho must have loved him dearly
as.wnat woman, Indeed, coulil help it f or
she would not havo yielded to his passion.
There is direct testimony to the beauty of
her person ; and In the light afforded by his
writings it requires uo extraordinary pene
tratiou toconjecturo that his brilliant mlud,
sparkling humor, tender fancy, and impe
tuous spirit must have made him iu his
youth tho very paragon of enchanters. It is
not known where they lived during the first
years after their marriage. Perhaps In this
cottage nt Shottery. Perhaps witli Hamnct
and Judith Sadler, for whom their twins,
born in 15S5, were named Humnetaud Ju
dith. Her father's houso assuiedly wouM
havo been chosen for Anne's refuge, when
nre-eutlv.in 15S0. Shaksneare was obliired
to leave hU wifo and children, and go away
to Londou to seek his fortune. Ue did not
buy New Place till 1597, but it is known
that iu tlio mean time he came to his native
country once every year. It was in Strut
ford that his son llamnet died, in 15'JO.
Antia and her children probably had never
left the town. They show her bedstead and
other bits of her furniture, together with
certain homespun shoots of everlasting linen,
that uro'kept us heirlooms to this day, in the
garret of the Shottery cottage. Hero is the
room that must often have wolcomed the
poet when he camo home from his labors in
tho great city. It is a very homely and
humble place, but the sight makes tho heart
thrill with a strttngo aud incommunicable
awe. Y'ou can not wish to spo.ik when you
are standing there. You are soarcely cm
sclou of Ihn luw rustling of tho leaves out
side, and the far-off sleepy murmuring ol the
brook, or tho faint fragrance of woodbine
and tho maiden's-blush that is wafted iu at
the open casement, and that swathes iu na
ture's incense a memory swevter Uuiu iUolf.
H'iVium ll'mVr, in llaryer't Haijasiucor
Jay. ,
"bee sere. MUter, ' tarn a U4 ol reven
summers , who was driven up u tree bv a
dog, 'if you don't take that dog away I'll
eat up all your apples
HATES OF ADVERTISING.
srAcs. im.
(If. M,
13.00 5 00
.cn s.w
It
onolnch,. 9.oo
11.60
1.(0
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rnoiniios s.
i.reo Indies 4.111
sirlnlips B.no
'onrtpr ininmn t.m
.fair rolii inn In. on
(Jne column su.oo
7.0(1 11.00
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S.0
tKI.M
ts.ov
t.WI
s.oo lo.oo i.oo
11.00 u.no 5Mn)
ss.co so.oo ro.oo
roo.
v'rl aiiv i ills, int-iii pA.iabli o,ufiiiri Iran
,ii itt mfri Kin tnt'iitMiitipt bciMtdrnrbeii it ui&erltd
leacept where parties lim o aoconnta.
U'ltHl mntrllscn.rntK t o dollars cf lnth torllirce
InmitiiiD, hikJ at that rate for additional Inecrtlosi
vtiiiout rtfertnoe to icniilii.
Kxi-cutor'a, AftitnWratort and Auditor' notice
jrnn 'n'tnarn. nniir uo pain lur wncn inprricu
! 'it hi irnt nr Lot it notlcoh, twenty ccuib a line
curd In tlm "HuMni'fw lllucu.ri " column, one
dollar per ) oar for cacti lino.
HIJAII A 1)1101).
Tho oilier day, when a man dropped In on
liijah and wiped the tears from his eyes,
and said that his family was in rags, hungry
mid sick, tho old gentleman's heart swelled
up and he replied i
'Go down to my farm and help yourself
take half the crops lake all of them.'
'Its too good too good I' Bighedtho weep
ing man.
'No, it ain't continued nijah. 'I put In
them crops on ptirposo for tlio poor of De
troit, and you hire a wagon and go down
there nnd draw oil' euough to last your fam
ily all wluter.'
The citizen broke down and sobbed llko
n child, and Itijah blow his nojo with great
violence and said to himself:
'What's the uso of being bald-hoadod.and
big-footed if you can't put a pry under n fel
low human being iu distress ?'
The man was gono about no hour, and ho
returned without auy tears In his eyes. On
the contrary, his face was red, his eyes flash
ed, and he stood bctorc liijah nnd yelled:
'I'm a good mlud to rub your cars ngm
ycr shoulders I'
'Great cider-milM but what has occurred
now ?' gasped the old man.
'You sent me down to tho farm 1'
'I did, and told you to draw off all tho
crops'
'And I've drawed 'em and hero they
are.'
iTho man unrolled n paper and exhibited
a shriveled old beet, two cabbage leaves,
three or four faded string beans, and a pota-
to about tho size of a buck shot,
'You told mo to biro a wagon nnd draw
'em off?' he went on, throwing tho old beet
on tho Hour. 'I hired ote,nnd this Is tho
load I you have cost me fifty cents, and I'm
a goirt mind to lick you I you are an bid
chimpanzee under the fenco an oldgarter
snako in a frog pond a hyena in a 1'
At ibis point lie got so mad that he hit
Bijsh on ihe chin with tho beet and rushed
out doors. The old man stood liko one in a
trance, and it was fully three minutes beforo
h c-mld ga-ii out :
'If gratitudo exists in the human heart
then I'm willing to lie called a dodo!'
CilAULKS
hAMIi'S WAUNINQ
MI.N.
TO YOUNG
B.'waro of evil habits. Ensily learned,
they nro the most difiicult to overcome. At
first, slender as 'tho spider's most atteuuated
ihrwl,' tuey thloknn r mnd us intojeords by
which aro bound into most utter helpless
ness. No slavery for one moment can be
compared to thai of tho man who is tho ser
vant of his lints aud victim of pernicious
lmbits. Withstand beginninat, therefore,
Hear tho confession of one
of the finest of the English essayests,who Un-
happily knew from experience only too well
tho degradation which ho cries to you outof
his depth: 'The waters havo gone over me.
Hut out of ths black depths, could I bo
heard, I would cry out to all those who havo
set a foot in the perilous Hood. Could the
youth to whom the flavor of his first wine is
dlicious as the opening scenes of life, or
tho entering upon some newly discovered
paradisp, look into my desolation, and bo
mado to understaud what a dreary thing it
is when a man shall feel hlmsolf going
down a precipice with open eyes and a pas
sive will; to see his destruction and have no
power to stop it,and yet to feel it all the way
emanating from himself; to perceive all
goodness emptied out of him, and yet not
to bo ablo to fix a time when it was other-
to bear out tho piteous spectacle of
his own self-ruin ; could ho see my feverish
eye, teverisli witli last night s unnking, anu
feverishly looking for this night's repetition
of the fully; could he feel the body of death
mt of which I cry daily wilh feebler and
feebler outcry to be delivered.it were enough
tonnako him dash tho sparkling beverage to
the earth in all tho prido of its mantling
temptrtion.'
Alas! poor Lamb may thy words to-day
prove words of power to eery one of us 1
"DAIiH YOU DO IT ?"
Derrick Dodd, tells tho following good
story ;
It was a sad looking tram), with a pained
expression of face, that entered a Sutter
street bar-room the other day holding in his
hand n small, battered red canister. 'Look
at this,' he said sorrowfully. 'I went into a
gun-shop and begged for something to eat,
aud tlio mean man handed mo this can of
powder. Ho said I could go Bhooting a
starving man go shooting 1 Just think of
it.'
'Well, mizzle 1' retorted the bar-keeper,
who had just set up four fancy drinks for a
row of customers,
'I pledge you my word,' said tho vagrant,
holdiug the can within an inch of tho open
stove, 'I'm so misetablo I've almost a mind
to blow myself up.'
'Dare you to do it,' said one of the by
standers, winking at tho crowd.
Tlio wretched party gave a sad, lingering
look at tho poured-out liquor, as tha"t ho
might ne'er behold agaiu, and tossed it! tho
can,
Tho yell that tho wholn crowd gavo as they
started for the other side of tho street was
heard on Telegraph Hill. When they filed
1,1 aUout minutes after tho empty can
(nu not txpioue, mere wero lour empty
glasses on lliexounter, the lunch table was
an empty mockery, and tho till looked liko
a savings bank on tho day after a really
large deposit. San Franeitco Wsf.
A GooiiStohy. I am inclined to think
the following an excelleut story. What do
you say ?
'Mrs Muriel took groat intererestiu parish
affairs. List year she promised to assist In
decorating the parish church. One illumin
ated text she thought would look well over
the ckauotl screen, and sho requested her
husband to bring it from town. As might
havo been oxpocted ho forgot tho lext, and
wirol to his vile for particulars. To the
surprise of all tho telegraph clerks this mes
sage uamo Hashing over tho wires; 'Into
us a child is born, uliio ftct loug by two feet
broad.' '
Tiik Okbatust lli.tasiMi A siuitlo, pure,
luriiiless rimily, that cures every time, und
prcveiiu disotwo by ketping (lie blood pure,
stouiaoli ruUr, kidneys and liver active, Is
(lis greaui Mcoiug ever conftrred upon man.
Hop Bitttrs i lhat remedy, and Its proprietors
ate being Missed ly thousands ho have keen
saved and cured by it. Will you try ,Il ? See
another column.