THE COLUMBIAN,
nLrSMA. UBHOORII, BtiROFTIHNOHTn ANDCOLUM
" BUXOONSOI.IIHTKD.)
Issued weekly, every l-'rl.lay morning, nt
IlloOVHIltJu'l, OOlAlMUIA COUNT?, l'A.
two hollars per year, payattio In Advance, or
liirlnir (tin year. Aftorthe ouptratlon ol tlwjcar
uni "fill bo charged. 1'u subscribers out of llio
count tiw terms are H per jpr, -trlclly In advnticu
-Stiift not p id In advance and M.on It pa input Lo
let vi I U on i tlio year.
NumiiT II ntliiucd, uxeeptut the option of the
iii'iiUI'ln'M, nut lull arrearages are paid, out long
lonilniiul credits nflcr tlio expiration of llio nrst
rear -vlil not ' Ivcn
ll papers nl out of the Halo or to distant post
ofi'.ces must be paid for In advance, unless n respon
sible person In Columbia county assumes to pay tlio
subscription duo on demand.
rus r All U Is no longer exacted from subscribers In
the county,
J B TPTPlISTTIlSra-.
1'mi.t ibbltg liepartinont of llio e'ot.CMsuNlsiery
ainpletn, and our .1 b fi liittiip will compare fnvorn
w wltn th it of llio largo cities. All work done on
demand, neatly and at moderate prices.
lie
srici. In, in, in. w. lr-
One Inch ii.oo U.so fs.oi Moo t.0
TtvolhClws 8.U0 4.10 B.IO S.00 11.80
Tliree Inches.... 4.m 4.ffl J.oo Ir.uo 1S.H
Pour Inches mo T.no turn H.oi mjiO
ouarter column e.oo 1.00 In.oo is.ftf ts.oo
Half column Ki.oo K.eo is.co ss.oo to oo
onu column 10.00 ti.no to.oo to.oo loo.ts
Yearly advertisements payable quarteily. Tran
sient adtertlsemcnts must be paid tor bctorelnsertea
except whero parties have accounts.
lgal advertisements two dotlarsper Inch tor thrt n
Insertions, and at that rate for additional Insertions
without refcret oo to lcngtfc.
Kvenitor's, AdrntnlHrRtcr' and Auditor' nottota
thrco dollars. .Must bo paid for when Inserted.
Transient or Local notices, twenty cents aline
regularadvcrllscmentshalt rates.
Card, In the "Duslnes, Directory" column, on
dollar per year for each line.
g1.l,Si7'sUtor.4?M.tor,.
BLOOMSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, JANUARY 4, 1878.
THE COLUMHIAN, VOL. XII. NO. 1
COhUMMALlKMOCIlAT, VOI..XI.1I, NO, H
r 1
Columbia County Official Directory.
President Judge William niwcll.
Associate Judges I. K Krlckbaum, F. I., hhurnan.
ProUionolari , sc. II. Prank Zarr,
Court stenographer i. N. Walker.
(Ulster V. Iteiiordor Williamson II, Jncoby.
Jlstrlrl tttornoy toliti M, Clark,
Sheriff John W. Ilnrfmnn,
Mtirvo or Isaac Di'wllt,
Treasurer Dr II. W. Mcttcynolds.
p nnlssloners John llerncr, 8. W. Mcllenry,
los'iph lands.
Commissioners' clerk William Krlckbaum.
Audltors-M. v. ii, Kline, I. it. Casey, E. li. iirown.
Coroner Charles (I.Murph
Murpl
-Ml
lurv Commissioners-
llobblns, Theodore W,
I'mnl.v .lilnnrlntpndpnt ll'llllnm 11. Knvrtrr.
Iltoo.n I'oir llstrlel-lilrcctoi-s-It. s. Knt, Scott,
Km. Kramer, liloomsburg and Thomas Keecc,
Ino t, Secretary.
Bloomsburg Official Directory.
President of Town Council I). Lowenberg.
Clerk W. win.
Chief uf I'ull o -M. C Woodward
Pn-sl I -at of ,,as Compiny -s. Knorr.
Secretary C. W Miller.
Il.ii miurg ii.iukliisM.'oinp.in John .. Funslon,
I'rosMeii , il. II. uro i, Cashier.
Kirs v.i lonal Hank Charles 11. l'axt on, resident
1, 1". ruslln, Cashier.
Columbia Counn Mutual Saving Fund nnd Loan
Issocli lon-E. II. Lit le, l'resldenl, C. W. Miller,
Secretary. . , ,
llloo.nsiiurg Hulldliij and Saving fund Association
-Win. I'eacuek. President,.!. 11. Hobtson, Secretary,
liloomsburg Mumal Saving Kund Association J.
f llrnwcr, l'reslden , C. U. llnrkhiy, Secretary.
I'lrrilCU DlltKOTOIlY.
lUI'TIST C1IUIICII.
. I. I'. I'm In, (Supply.)
i it 1 1 s 'rvlees -I 4 a in. nnd oj p. m.
.nvl l School 9 a. in.
I'r.iver Meeilng-Kvcry Wednesday evening ntX
"ock.
-in sfree. The public nre Invl'cd to attend.
T, VIATTllEW's I.UT11KRAN CUUKC11.
Minister liev. J. McCron.
Sun, I ly services tii a. m. and OX p. m.
suiidav school 9 a.m.
i'ra er Mcu lug Every Wednesday evening at ox
lock.
Seats free. Nopews rented. All are welcome.
PIIESUVTBHIANCHL'HCII.
Minister Itev. stuari Mliihcll.
Sunday Services lux a. in. and ox p. ra.
Sunday school a. in.
I'raver.Meo lug Every Wednesdai evening a x
I'clock.
Kcii'Sfrec. No pews rented, strangers welcome.
mkthoiust EiuscorAi. cncucii.
Presiding Elder-Hev. N. S. llucklnjliam
Minister Itcv. M. L. smjser.
sundav SerIces 1 x and ox p. m.
sundav School p. in, ...
Illblo Class-Ever .Monday evening at ex o clock.
Young Men's I'ra er Men lug-Even Tuesday
renlngn fi o'clwk.
(lener.il Prayer Mectlng-Every Thursday evening
J o'clock,
RKKORMKIl CIICKCH.
Corner of Tlilrd nnd Iron streets.
I'astor Itev. . I), (lurlcy.
Keildence Uentrm Hotel.
Sunday Services lox a. m. and 7 p. m.
sunda. school 11 a. m.
prater Meeting Saturday, 7 p. in.
All aro Invited There Is always room.
ST. l'CL'SCIICKCII.
'lector ltev 1.. Zahiier.
sunda services I 'X a. in., 7X p. m.
Sunday school 9 a. m.
1'lrst sun lav In the month, Holy Communion.
Services preparatory to communion on trlday
ivenlng belore the st Sunday In each month.
I'ews rented; but everj body welcome.
EVANGELICAL CIICKCH.
Presiding F.lder-ltcv. A. L. ltceser.
Mlnltcr-ltcv. J. A. Irvine.
Sunday Service 3 p. m., In the Iron street Church.
I'm er Meeting Every Sabbath at s p. m.
All are Invited. All nre welcome.
THE CnCKCII OP CMKIST.
Meets In "the little Ilrlck Church on tho lilll,"
known as the Welsh llaptlst church-on Itock street
cast of Iron. , .
Itegular meeting for worship, even' Lord's day at-
seats free! nnd tho public aro cordially invited to
attend.
I1L00.MSI1UK0 IMKECTOUY.
rimrnm. nilllKUS. blank, lust nrinleil nnd
neatlv bound In small books, on hand and
tor sale at the columiiian onice.
UIiANK DEEDS, on I'arehnu-nt ntnl Linen
iMner. eominou and for Admlnlsirntors, Execu-
turs and trustees, for sale cheap at the Columbian
Ofllce. .
T rAltlllAOU CKKTII'ICATES iu.t printed
1I and tor sale at the coi.vmbian onice. .Minis-
era of tho (lospel and Justices should supply them,
selves with these necessary articles.
JUSTICES and Constables' Fee-Kills for sale
attho Colcmbiav onice. They contain the cor
rected fees as established by the last Act of the Leg-
siaturo upon uie suujeei. icij umiKuim.u,M
uablo should havo one.
T7" ENDUE NOTES just printed and for sale.
cheap at tho Columbian ofllce,
CLOCKS, WATCHES, C.
CE. SA VAfiE, Dealer in Clocks, Watclies
. and Jewelry, -Main St., Just below the Central
PROFESSIONAL CAHOS.
(1. I1AKKLEY, Attorney-at-Law. Office
In Prow er's building, 2nd sior", Itooms Its.
U'M M. UE11ER. Surgeon and Plivsi
.ii mice s. E. corner Hock and Market
I n. i ..r, l. it.. i3urj;eoii mm x iiji-i
I , "Ian, (mice and Residence on Third stieet
I it i t n 1 111 !
ii ..el .icuciMin,
! II McKELVY, XI. D.( Surgeon and I'hy
J
J.
slelan, north side Main fctreet, below Market,
II. HOIIISON, Attorney-at-Law.
In llarliuan's building, Main street.
Office
a
HOSENSTOCIv, I'liolofe'raplier,
, i.'lark N oil's store, Main tti eet.
MISCELLANEOUS.
D
AVID LOWENIIEWS, Merchant Tailor
viain St., above central uoiei.
T S. KUI1N, dealer ii. Meat, Tallow, etc.
1. Centre street, l etw een Second and Third.
(JATAWISriA.
Til. L. EYEKLV,
ATTOHNKY-AT-LAW,
Catawlssa, Pa.
collections pioiuptly mode and remitted, onico
0"nosle Catawlssa Deposit Hank. em-3S
Al'G. 1H KAt'B. JNO. V. IMMIKK.
CIIAS. B. EDV AKI'S,
VM U
HAGENIiUCH,
W1TU
li.lt lilt, I I3 llllt'I 4k KttMUIclK,
(succrwoni tolitnedlct Dorscj 4: Sons, !3 Market
Biieii,
Importers and dealers in
CHINA, OLATS AND QUEENSWAHE,
ni Market Mnct, Philadelphia.
Cennn il in bund 1 ilt.li at ni.dAbtortid Packages
lune an, t7-ly
GOLD.?
(ireat fhancc to make money, it you
can t'fv com on van k-- Bneii'
vhfw to fako ml'MTlptlons to the lareett. cbeavn-st
aim ui'M iiiustruu-'i iun 111 rui'iii'miun iu uie rm.
Any oho tan tiMtnjf u Mim-ftTnl tirtit. 'llio inott
eififani uni ks ot iii 1 eien iiteiu feutiKT bera. 'iue
lrk-f u m low tlial almobt eur) Inidy subbcrlUK.
lady BLxnt n-norts lukliiif ur bulihtrlbtrs iu
(lujh. u wuo tiiKtti iiu-U' inoi't') fust, tmenn
nt'voto Ujourciiiu io tLt 1 utii i bs. cr only jour
niulit Yen un U'j it atci iiHotfitTH. KuilnartU:
11 iu k. riiitiii'iif anaitrnti irte. ir ittrant auat-x
nt'innt' uni in irer, 11 iiu warn I'ltini' viv vvi
Mi.l usjeur itddubs tit cure UioHh lulliUiir'o
iry uiv uut luc&s. u niiu eopageK laiia 10 muKf
, luiid, Multtf. uul W.TT-ly
L'ltiu iwj fluuiieni -iiitj i t'ui it b journal. - roi
AINWKU.IIT 4 CO.,
wHii.iniid rcUMr-t,
Phi la Mti fhi a,
vnh -I i, Alt MUMSSKh
I IIAl'IMAN
rtriiinsTiiiK leuAiwisu
a ll l .hU'llANCl' (OMI'ANIif-
n ii ii if Mil ry KinKvlvnLla.
, I , i ilium I I'WUdiiphla, ra
" "'. .
ci . i.la cf
t , ( . -. ei i'ik, ra.
I L rut t York.
viiuuiu u 1;i(UU(iil,ViUllllUll,,
nusiNEfes cAims.
TK. J. C. KUTTKK,
I'HYSlCIANtBUItaKOK,
Office, North Market arritt,
Mar,il,';4- leusberg, ra.
k. onvis,
ATTOltKET-AT-LAW,
limes lioom No. 1, "Columbian" Building.
Sept. 1S.1S-6.
s
iVMUKIi KNOHK.
A T T 0 II N K Y-A T-L A W,
ni.ooMsnuiio, PA.
onico, Ilartman's Block, corner liiln and Market
Streets
N, C. ITSK. U X. WAU.IR.
FUNK & WALL E II,
Atto. noys-ut Lnv,
IILOOMSHUIIO, PA.
Ofllce In COLl'MMAN 1ICILDIKO. JOD. 1, "JT-ly
I. I,. ItAIlll,
l'UAGTICAL DENTIST,
Main street, onnoslto Eclscooal Church.
bui-ir, Pa.
Terth extracted without nuln.
nug it, 'I7-1y,
HOCICWAY AELWELL,
A T TO It N E Y S-A T-I- A W,
COLUMDIAN ncILDIKO, UlOOUSbUrg, Tti.
Members of the United Mntes Iaw Association.
ollectlons made In any part of America or Europe
1 1'. A- W.J.llUCKALEW.
U. .
A 1 1 Uli.MSl S-Al-LA W,
liloomsburg, ra.
onico on Main Mrcet, first door below Courtllouse
R ,C J. M.CLAUK,
ATTOltNEYS-AT-LAW
liloomsburg, 1'a.
uniee In Ent s llulldlng.
I'. I1ILLMEYEH,
ATTOIINEY AT LAW.
oiuce Adjoining C. II. ; W. J. llucknlew.
liloomsburg, l'a.
BOB'I. H. I.ITTLR.
11. LITTLE.
? II. 11,
li. LITTLE,
ATTOHNEYS-AT-LAW,
liloomsburg, l'a.
?"liusness before the U. s. Patent onice attended
Ofllco in tho Columbian Building. 33
JJKirV'KY r.. SMITH,
A TiUlirWJY-A 1-liAW,
Ofllce In A. J. Evan's New Ilfil.piso,
IILOOMSHUIIO. r.s.
Member of Comnurcl.il Uiw and Hank Collection As
soclailon. uct 14, Ji-ll
ATTOHNEY-AT-LAW,
Centralis, Pa.
Fob 19, '70.
C. SMITH,
Al lUlliK,l-Ai-l.AlV.
onice In "Em IIcilpino," Bloomsburg, l'a., near
ourt nouse.
aug. 10,77-11
W. MILLER,
ATTOHNKY-AT-LAW
onico In Brower'sbulldlng.second noor, room No,
liloomsburg, ra.
,. II. Abbott. W. 11. Hhawh.
AlillOTT & IUIAWN,
Attorney s-at-Law.
CATAW1SSA, FA.
Pensions obtained.
dec 91, '7T-ly
MISCELLANEOUS.
II O V E L L,
1J Hi IN Tib I .
onice In Ilartman's Block, becond floor, corner
Main and Market streets,
BLOOM8BU1IC1, I' A.
May to ly.
ri M. DHINKEH, GUN and.LOCKSMITH
ulng AiacnineH auii aiacuinery oi an imiu iv
paired. oi'EKA IIoise Building, Bloomsburg, ra.
-yiLLIAM Y. KESTElt,
lNLJiKCl-lAiN'r TAIJjUU
ornerof Main and West fctreets. three doors below
J. li. ujtr iibiore, juoomsuurg, i-a.
All orders promptlr attended to and satisfaction
guurumccii.
April xi, 'i(-u
F
KEAS BROWN'S INSURANCE AGEN.
CY, Exchange Hotel, liloomsburg, ra.
Capital.
Etna, Ins Co., of Hartford, Connecticut. .
6.MW.WI0
20,1 0,000
13 600,000
10,000,' 00
8,100,000
600,000
1,000,000
76,0110
5,6"fl,000
17,000,000
Royal or Liverpool
l.ancanshlre
Klre Association. Philadelphia
.iverttooi. Lxmuon anu moDe
M las of Hartford
I'armers Mutual ot Danville
Danville Mutual
Home. New York
Commercial Union
178,S,O00
March sa.I-f
Tlie Columbian Law Docket
A complete record for tho uso of attorneys. Con.
icnlntly arranged for tho docketing ol all cai.es
containing KD pages, with double Index. This Is
the most complete book for lawvers that Is pub.
Ilshed,
PRICE, $3. SO.
Published by Brockway & Elwel
Editors and Proprietors of the Columbian
BLOOMBBUBO,
Oraugcville Academy.
IlEV. 0. K. OANFIELD.A. M.,Principal.
II )ou want to patronize a
FIUST CLASS SCHOOL,
W11EUE UOAliK AND TUITION AllE LOW,
t-lve us a trial.
Next term begins
MONDAY, JANUARY 21. 1878.
Kor Information or catalogue apply to
tub riiiNcii'Ai,
July 8T, 11-ly Orangevllle, l'a.
TMtrriSII A.MKltlCA ASSUKANCE CO.
NATIONAL KIHK I.N8UIIANCE COMPANV.
The owls of Ibese old corporallobs aro all In
vettidliiMiI.il) SKCVlllTlta and are liable totlie
luizaril of lire only.
Moderate lines on I lie bebt rtrksare alone accepted,
l rit.M s i'itoMi-ri y and noMtTLT odlusted and paid
as koi n determined by lmhutun 1. Km it, ei
ilal Ai;eiit nnd lluHcr. H'oomsburir, I'enn'a.
'Ilieettlzcisof Colurut la county klioulJ patronize
tlieoKtncy v liere lohea. If any, aje adjusted and
paid uy one oi meiruwn euueua. uuv. ib, i-jy
is not easily earned In these limes but It
can t made In three months by anyone
of either sex. In any ban of the country
ho Is v. ininir to work steadily at the employment
that wt luniini. itsper vieeicinyour oviu town
i'ou need not be av from home overnight. You
caugueiour hoiotlmoto thevsorlt, or only jour
Bire momentK. It costs nothing to lr the nasi,
ntss. Tetnis id uouint trie. Address atonce
II. llii.niTt Co., Portland, 11 aloe.
Keh i 11 lr
LOVERS
lmw In erf married, lite bar
HOOK OKKNOWU
KDOK, or ft'oretaof
ix)ve, Lounmip ana
Marrlacts hliGWlotr
VfBltV at d tllblttietlcn, end ant-ar to advantage la
b(lel txi vitet'fc soo.wobon, Mailed ror io r la in
novtt.u blouij ur curnncj. A (litres, Tub I'm ion
uarpny oniaiD ueauu,
iiimi roui'isv, Mwaik. N, j,
ate, u,Titn jwtco
X tor tale at Uia uotouiuM omoo.
VEGETINE
For Bilious, ReuittM anfl Intermit
tent Fever,
Or hat Is more commonly termed Tever and Ague,
nlth path In the loins and through tlio back, and In
describable chilly sensation down the spine, anlrre.
Msltble disposition to yawn, pain in the eyes, which
Is Increased by motlng them, a blue tinge In tno
skin, nnd great llstlC3ncss and debility, Vrgetlno Is
a safe and pofcltlvo remedy. It 'compounded ex
clusively from the Juices ot carefully lelected barks
and herbs, and bo Atrongly concentrated that It N
one of the greatest cleansers ot tho blood that'll or
can be put together, vegetlno dos not stop with
Dreaking emus ana lever, out it eiicra3 lis wonder
ful Influence Into every part of the human') stem,
and entirely eradicates every'talnt'ot disease. Veg
rtlne does not act as a powerful cathartic, or dcMfl.
tato thelbowels and cause the patient to dread other
perlons cmplalnts whtch must Inevltablv follow;
but It Hrlkes at the root of dlseasp by purlfjlng the
blood.'restores tlio liver and kldnejs to healthy nc
blon. regulates the bowels, and assiits N'atnro In jicr
tormlng all the duties that de' olve upon her
f Thousands of Invalids are surrertng to-tlay from
the efTiiets of p iwerful purgative nosl um . frlghttul
quantities of Quinine, ana poison doses of nrsente,
neither ot which ever have, or ever could, reach the
true causo ot their complaint.
VEGET1NE
works In tho human system In perfect harmon with
nature's laws, and while 11 Is pleasant tolhetiste,
genial to the stomach, and mild In Its Influenco on
the bowels, It Is absolute In Its action on dlsfiise.nnd
li not a Tilt. tmuficou9 bUU ra, purglnj invalids Into
iai"e nune mm iiiey uru uting cureu. ojeiuio 1
purely Vfjtetable Medicine, compounded upon
It Id Indorsed b tho hv.nirtiwuM um
only 1uto lnrdlclne Is need d, nni U not n tnUturo
ot cheap vIilHky told under the cloak ot bitten.
Ivoh Ileitltli, Strenplli mid
My dauchter has received creat Itenellt from tho
use of Vecetlne. Her decllnlni: health was a sourrp
of great tinxtety to all of her friend. A few bottles
of the Vccetlnu restored her health, Htrentith nnd
insurance nna iieai L,sime Ajjenr, ro. 4'J
bears liutldlnj?, lioston, Mass.
VE MTNE.
Police TcNtlmony.
IlOSTOS. NOV. IS. 1S75.
II. It. Rtkvkss. Fso.:
Dear Mr During the p.iit Ave 'years Ihavelud
ninnle oimnrtunlty to .tudce of the mcrltsof Vt-L'e-
tf ii'. M wife has iwdit for complaluts atfndinu
a l,)dy of delicate health, with more beneficial results
thin any thlnir else whldi bho eer tried. Ihae
Kveu it to my (iiiuiren under tiimosr every clrcum
stance nil end a lnru''' Tamil v, and nlwnj s with tnnrk.
edtwiient. Ilunetiken It insclf with such creat
w'netll tlui' I e.umot tlitd word' to express my tin
nuiilltied apprieldMun ot its coodnes.
it line pfriurinini; my uuues s u ponce omccr in
this cliy. It has been my lo' to fill in with a irreat
neru or su'Riif m. i unnetnniiniriy recommend vte
tine, nnd I nt't'r knew (if a case when' It did not
protean Ttiui was claimed rur it. r.iriieu an in
enes of tleHlltated cr lmpoterUhed state of the
blood. Its eiletts are really wonderful ; nnd, fir nil
complaints ur Is'iitf from nn Impure stnte of the blnod,
u arnears ui worn iiko a ennrm: nnu 1 aonoi oenete
theie nre auv t IrcumManees under whtch Vetretlno
can be usi d with Injurious results; audit, will alwas
nnaru nie pnasure io e;ive ant inriuer miormaiion
as io wnax j khowt auout vcycune.
iu.i.ji it. ii ill, i'cikc Mauon 4.
li l"rcparcd by
1-T. 11. STEVENS. Boston,
Vegetine is sold by all Druggists
Jan
TliOlllS II. 11AI1TUAK.
ALBEHT HlltTMAK.
HARTMAN BROS,,
DKALEHS IN
TEAS, CANNED FltWT,
OZOAKS,
TOBACCO.
snvit,
CONFECTIONERY.
Spices of all kinds, Glass & Quocnswaro
FINE GROCERIES,
Foreign and Domestic Fruits,
AND GENERAL LINE OF
Family Provisions
nueii's on sun,
nurr.iiT i:i,oi:k,
4tli door below market street, liloomburFi r.i.
IV Hoods delivered to all parts ol tho town
AprlUT, -tf
HIGHEST AWARDS !
Ct'iitrniiliil
Kxhlbllluii.
J. REYNOLDS & SON,
NORTHWEST COKNEK
Thlrtcciilli hikI Fillicrl Sis.
PHILADELPHIA,
ii 1NUFACTCKKK8 Of PlTENTEB
WrtuM-Iroii Air-Tit Healers
Willi Miuklnv mitl Cl)ukir-:rlii(HiiK (rnlrfur
liuruliiw Aiitiirariu or ifiiuiuii oim i oni
CENTENNIAL
W110UGI1T-1I10N. UKATEUS,
FOE BITUMINOUS COAL,
Keystone
WRODGHT-IRON HEATERS,
Cooking K.angc, Xionr-down Orates,
die, dtc.
Descilptlve Circulars ssnt rnKi to any address.
EXAMINE 1IEFOHE SELECT1NO.
Apll V7, 11-1 ita
READ THIS
No Continued or Sensational Stories In Till:
People's Jjedger
Eight large Pages ; 4S columns of Choice Miscella
neous ll-adlnp Matter eviry wtrk.tomtbrr tilth se
lections from the pens ot sued writers as Nisuv.oi i.
TIR OPTIC, HVLVXM'SI'OBI', Jll., SIlS IXil'lhK AlfOTT.
WIIXC1KITOK. J T, Tkowbkihub, Mint T'tviiK, aud
Mas. Marv lloi um.
Youth', Humorous, Seicntific, Ftuhinn,
Iloiueltrping, and A'etet Department! com
pute. CowntTt, Peal, HrMiiuiK. Viscinitimi ktokies
eaeutteeic. run or runununii. a peculiar ieu
lure of the Tim i norm's liooik Is 11a short aneo.
dot es and Parugruphs for v. hlch It has a tt Ido repu
tatlon. BPROIAL OFFEH.
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Select Story.
UOMASCB ON' TUB KAIL.
HOW CAP,
LOI.LAUI) GOT 1113
(II. ST..
nnsr lk-
'I say, Cap,' called out Hill Davidson,
give the hoys the story how you got your
first engine.'
'Oh, sho I1 exclaimed Cup. you have all
he.trd that until it's stale.'
'Nn, nol I've never heard it.'
'Nor I.'
Nor I.'
'Eire away,Cup We're as fresh as huUer
cupt on that lay.'
'I reckon their ulu't none of the preent
company hut ino that's heard it,' ventured
Hill, when the othervoices had suhsided.
'Waal, anything to pleac the company.
If I'm elected for that particular yarn, why
that's tho one I'm bound to spin. Hut first,
I'll rake out my fire-box, and heave in a
stick or two, joit to keep tlio machine
warm,
'Waal, fellers,' he said,'ye see, I was firm'
under nn engineer what wai about as fine as
they make 'cm. He sported kids and a rat
tan, and a plug hat. The only thing whlter'n
his vcm was his h'licd shirt, with a diamond
cluster on the bosom ; and the only thiug
blacker'n his broadcloth was the all-killiu'est
moustache- you ever sot eyes on. When he
swung into the cab you'd a tho't he was the
eewhilltaker jinks of all the hlghcockalor-
urns at headquarters. He alwayssmelt strong
ot the barber's shop : and he wouldn't u
ook his dainty self off the box if the sup
erintendent's lady had wanted to ride.
'His handle was Jim Talford ; and I s'poe
that was us good as any other. For his kind
of n man, he done his work well enough ;
anyhow, lie didn't spree it when he was on
duty so they paid him his wages and no fault i
he found.
Of course he never touched the oil cup
that wouldn't a gone down wl'h his laven-
ler kids, liut there's engineers what crouds
their firemen worso'n than he did; so.thotigh
I never cottoned to him particular, we got
along.
One thins I al it ays had a sneakin' no
tion that, though he was so fine and big-
feel i n , he'd squeal if you got him in a tight
pinch. I don't know why. Sometimes them
dandy iellers is the very devil on wheels
when you put them to it, but somehow I
liiln't think he was one o' that kind.
'Waal, it all v ent along as fine as a fiddle,
until one day a leetle chap with bushy
whiskers and eyes like gimlets come pokin'
his nose about. He squinted at everything
from the loe of the pilot to the copplin'-piti
of the tender. Then he sings out:
Hollo I I say, there I can I ride with
you V
'Jim was swingin' of his heels out o' the
winder. He kept a-pu)liu' at his cigar and
watchin' of the rings o' Binoke never lookin'
at the leetle chap out on tlio platform, no
more'n if he'd been it chipmunk on a log.
So tho stranger he sings out ag'in, step-
pin' up close under the winder :
'My Christian friend, havo you any ob
jections to my riding with you?'
Hollo 1' BayH , Jim, mighty bi-Injuinh.
'Did you speak to me ?'
'Yes, sir j I spoke to you,' says the other
kind o' slowly.and squintin lus eyes so s you
could scarcely see em V
'Ahl' says Jim, a tossin' of his cigar stump
over tlio feller's head. 'And what do I un
derstand that you said ?'
'I asked if it would be agreeable for you
lo let me ride witli you,' tays thu leetle
man.
'I ain't any objections,' ay Jim. 'If you
pats your money von kin ride' along witli
me -in the coach, where tho ulher passen
gers ride ?"
'He thought it a mighty fine joke, but the
little chap he'd sold only tqinted his eyes
closer.
'May I ask who you be ?' he says quiet
like.
'Ask away ; but don't take up too much
time,' cays Jim, laughin' t his own cute-
nesss.
'Waal, then, who be you, anyway ?' says
the stranger.
'.Me 7 Who bcI ?' says Jim, adratvin' of
himself up, and lookin' at the leetle chap
mighty sharp ; 'tvaal, I reckon I'm the man
what runs Ibis hull machine. When I say
go, she goes, and when I say stop she stops,
Is that plain?
'Yes,' says the stranger, 'lou re what
they call the engineer?'
'That's just it to a T.' says Jim. 'For
onct you've struck the nail plump on the
head. And now, my inquizltivc friend, may
I ask who you are?
'Certainly,' says tlio stranger payln' him
in his own coin.
Waul, who are you?' says Jim,rillin'when
the laugh was turned on himself.
'Who am I?' says the leetle feller, funi-
blin' in his pocket ; and his eyes were like
black beads. 'Hyer's my card, and ynu kin
see for yourself if you kuow how to
read ?'
With that he pokes a bit o' pa.le board
into Jim's paw, aud walks oil', as cool as a
May mornln.'
Jim lonkfd at the card I Then he turned
the color of a b'iled lobster. Then ho look
ed after the stranger, who was chulklii' it
down the platform, with uothin' in sight but
his back nnd the whiskvrs bloiviu' out on
both sides of his head. To top off with,
Jim cussed and swore like a pirate.
'I caught sight of tlio name, 'It was our
new superintendent!' You bet I was tickled,
It was enough to keep me good-natured for
two straight weeks. Hut it wouldn't do fur
to have him tee me laugh j so I begun to
chuck iu wood like a two year old.'
'Jim was mad, now; ami he put things
through that day, or I'm a liar. The leetle
superintendent had busted out both the cylinder-heads
fur him ; aud Jim wealed away
reckless,
'We had gone about forty miles this way,
when tto came lo the bluffs nine miles nut of
Crdarburg. The first Mull'goes up two hun
dred and -fifty feet purpendlc'lar ; and the
road hugs the foot ol it close on a sharp
curve, down grade the jvay we was going '
Hehind the bluff the valley spread out into
a sort of a pocket.
'Jim rounded that bend at about thirty
five miles an hour, And, fellers, that ha'r
just begun to creep up the back o' my head
when I seen what was in that pocket I Sev
en hundred cords of wood piled ou both
sides of the track, was a-bluzln' away fur
keeps, you bet I The wind blew the anioke
. up the pocket j no we hadn't ft minute's
ttarnln ' llosf, tvo was tallin, into a first
class Tophet, and no mistake j fur seven
hundred cords of wood don't make no fool of
a fire, dog my sister's cats If it does I
'You understand when rails git hot they
expand ; and when thoy'git too long fur the
place they're laid fur they tvabblo out o'
line In almost any direction. I've seen 'em
myself as crooked as barrel hoops, And
you underitaud further, If we got tlirowed
on that fire, we was booked for t'other place
sartln sure 1
Jim seen the whole thing at a flash ; and
fur five seconds ho set on the box liken
wooden man, wither'n the bosom of his
b'iled shirt. Then lie whistled fur brakes
like a lunatic, reversed the leaver, and piled
out o' the cab winder, end-over-end, never
takln to jump, but goln' it blind.
'Waal, fellers, it don't take long to think
when you stand a-lookln' straight into To
phet. I knowed I could Poller Jim's lead
and jump ; but I knowed, too, that train
was going to be stalled right iu the middle
o' fire, If I didn't prevent it.
'1 looked down, tlio track. Tho ties was
a smokln', but the iron wasn't warped any
yet. They dld't count fur much, though fur
the minute tho rails ielt tho weight of the
engine they might wrap up in front four
feet high ; or they miglit spread anywhere
under the train. Tho least thing might
ditch tn, and then good-bye, John I
'Hut there was n chance a mighty slim
one that tva might skin through ; and I
put my pile on that chance.
'Jim hadn't much moro'n struck the
ground when I jumped over to his sid
whistled off tho breaks, tlirowed the leaver
hack, and opened the throttle wldo Fellers
that engino just jumped ahead like a boss
when you prod him with the spurs. The
next minute we was a kitln through the fire
like a ring tailol comet I
'Hot? Jeewhilakers I I squinted down
on the cab floor, half-choked to death by
the smoke. And all the while I wailed fur
somethiu' to happen ; and it came. I could
feel by the motion of the train that the c.tra
were oll'somewhcre.
'If it was the hind, car nnd tlie couplin's
held, and the rest kept the track, we might
skin through yet; so I held my breath and
hung on like grim death.
'It seemed as if we was in that furnace ten
years, nut at last wo cleared tne lire, arm
got a breath o' cool air. Then I knew your
humble servant was a hunkydory. The en
gine was through ; but I didn't know how
many cars was left
'I jumped up and whistled fur breakes,
and reversed the lever. As we begun to
slack up tvo got a bump;, aud I knowed
that a couplin' had broke somewhere and
the followin' cars had run into us after the
divide.
'As I couldn't do uothin' raoro in the cab,
I got on to the step and swung out as far as
could, yet not leavin' the engine. Sure
nough fact, we had dropped the two last
coaches ; and thy had stopped about threo
coach lengths behind tlio rest o' tho train
yet fur enough from thc-'fire. Hut the last
coacli was blazin' away like a pino torch, and
the people a-pullin' out of it neck and heelsl
The suction that a train always kicks up
1 1 1. il drawn the flames in against tho hind
end; and the paint and varnish caught in a
way that wasn't slow : Tlie coach had
jumped the track just before we cleared the
fire, and run twenty rods with everything
on tho ties. The coach just ahead was hind
trucks off, but not much slued.
'That train wa-n't long in emptyin', you
bet I All the pa"engers was safe except
ome bruises and one broken arm bclongin
to a woman what got tramped under foot in
the rush to git out. Ileides this there was
some dresses .torn, and bonnets set awry, am
plus: hats otoved iu, and a good deal o
scare.
'We hitched on to the next to the las
coach, and tried lo save it ; but it caught
lire and we had to drop it again nnd let i
go with the other. 'Then we looked to tl:
damage to the train. The varnish and paint
had all run down and and sjioilt tho pretti
est engine that ever left a shop, and th
coaches was all scorched brown. As fur th'
track we'd ju-t paed over thu rails was as
crooked as gripe vines. It inado you feel
stroked jest to look at it.
'Hythis time Jim Tallord came limpin'
up, liavin' walked around the fire. Ho was
in as sorry a pickle as you ever see. His
eyes and ha'r was full o' sand ; his clo's was
lore ; his b'iled shirt was blacker'n a wiper;
and blood ws every ttheres. He looked
chuck full o' swear, clean up to the noz
zle. Tho liltlo superintendent spied him the
first clatter ; and he stepped up to Uim and
he says:
'Hello you engineer I wliero in thunder
did you como from 1 You look like a walk
in' hospital I
'And Jim lookin' runnln' over with
swear, but mighty perlito spoken he says i
'I fell out of tho winder.'
'Um I Oh I Yes I You fell out o' the
winder : savs tho superintendent, bIow and
sarcastic after whistlin fur breakes I Ah,
yes I ynu fell out o" the winder"
Then he turned to me, and lie says, says
he;
Young man, I s'pojo youre the fireman ?'
'Yes sir,' says I, slieker'u grease, 'fur I'd
cut my eye teeth, and Peguu lo emeu a
mice I'
'Did ynu whistle off them breaks ?' says
the superintendent, cyein' me sharp.
'Yes, sir' says I ag'in.
'It wan't your business to do It, was it ?'
says he, n frownln'.
Hut I knowed a thing or two, and didn't
scare out wuth a cent j so I says, says I, as
innercent as an unborn babe, says I :
'No, sir ; it wasn't my reg'lar business,
but I inado bold to do it, liowsomever.'
'And what fur did you do it ?' says he,
'Waal,' says I, 'I seen if them breakes was
put on, this train was goiu' ou a lee-line fur
Tophet 'cause she'd a stopped in tho mid
dle o' that wood pile yonder. I ho only
show was to go straight ahead, and takn the
chances o' the rails keeping to the bed.'
'Hut didn't you havo time to fall out o'
the other winder ?' says the superintendent,
'I recon I could a jumped,' says I, 'but if
I had you'd a gone to the dev I beg your
pardon I I meant to say tho train would a
gone up the flume, sure 1
'I s'pose you know how to run this ma'
chlue, don't you V inks the superintend'
ent.
'I reckon I klu take her to the next sla
tlon, if Jim's too bad hurt, says I,
'And fellers, I was a laughin' in my sleeve
all the time ; but outside you'd a took me
fur the boas cook of a gospel shop.
'AH rlght,'Jsay the superintendent 'Drive
ahead, Hut if you fall out o' the winder
11 ship you suro I'
'Then he gave mo ono of tho brakesmen
to fire, aud told Jim ho'd better pllo Into the
baggago car and make himself comfortable.
Another brakesman was sent around t'other
le of the fire to flag any approachiu' train.
.'hen tho superintendent poked Ills head
nto tho baggago car, nnd lie says, says
ic :
'Don't leave no winder open, or the engi
neer may ketch cold, even if he don't fall
out I'
'Of course I put that train thro' ; and
when wcjijot to headquarters,Jim was ship
ped, nnd I was put In his place. Aud that's
how I got my first engine.'
A Funeral Sermon.
When tlie Drawer published tho famous
Hard-shell Iljptlst sermon, "For lie played
on a harp ol a thousand strings," it was sup
posed that tho summit of that style of ora
tory had been obtained. We havo seen
nothing comparable to it until the other
day, in glarirSing through a foreign paper,ve
came upon the following, which we pro
nounced to bo in its way inimitable. It is
pute certain that it has not heretofore ap
peared in print in America. It is entitled :
"A Sermon occasioned by the Death of tho
Hev, Mr. l'rockter, Minister of Gisslng
By tlie Itev. Mr. Moore, Minister
of Hurston, Norfolk,
"1 Tim., vi. and 12.
"Beloved, we are met to solemnize the fu
neral of Mr. l'rockter ; his father's name
was l'rockter of tho second family ; his
brother's name was alio Thomas l'rockter,
he lived sometime nt Huxtou Hall in Nor
folk, nnd was high Constable of Disthurd
sed. ; this man's name was Robt l'rockter,
and his wife was Mrs Mutton, late wife of
Mr. Matthew Il ixton ; shocamo from Hels-
don Hall, Norwich.
"Ho was a good Husband, and she a good
Houseitife, and they two gat money: she
brought a thousand pounds lo her portion.
Hut now, beloved, I shall make it clear by
deinon-trativo Arguments.
"First, Ho was a good .Man and that in
several respects ; ho was a loving man to his
neighbours ; a charitable man to the poor,
a favourable man in his Tylhes, good Land-
on! to his Tenants ; there sits Mr. Spur-
geon can tell what a great sum he forgave
im on his Death lied ; it was fourscore
1'ounds. Now beloved, was not this a good
Man, and a Man of God, think you, and his
Wife a good Woman, and she came from
Helsdon Hall beyond Norwich, This is the
first Argument.
econdly, to prove this man to bo a good
Man and a Man of God, in tho time of his
Sickness, which was very long and tedious,
ho sent for Mr. Cole, Minister of Shimpling,
lo pray for him ; he was not a self-ended
man. iNo, lleloved, he desired him to pray
for, not only himself, but fur his Relations
ind acquaintances,for Mr. Huxton's worship.
for i-irs. Huxton's worship, and all Mr. Hux
ton's Children against it should please God
to send him any, and to Mr, Cole's prayers
he devoutly said, Amen, Amen, Amen. Was
not this a good Man, and a Man of God,
think you, and his Wife a good Woman,
and she came from Helsdon Hall beyond
Norwich.
"Then he sent for Mr. Gihbs to pray for
him, when he came and prayed for him and
for all his Friends and Relations, and Ac
quaintances, for Mr. Huxton's worship and
lor Mrs. Huxton's worship, and for all Mr.
Huxton's children, azninst it should please
(k1 to send him any, ami to Mr. Gibb'
prayers he devoutly said, Amen, Amen
Amen. Was not tills a good Man, aud a
Man of God, think you, and his Wife a good
woman, and she came from Ile'odou Hall
beyond Norwich.
"Then he sent for me, and I catre aud
prayed for this good man Mr. l'rockter, for
all his Friends.Uelationsaud acquaintances,
lor Mr. Huxton's woiship, and for Mrs. Hux
ton's worship, and lor all Mr. liixtuu's
children against it should please God ti
send him any, and to my piayer lie devout
ly said Amen, Amen, Amen, Was not this
a good Man and a Man of God, think you
and liis Wife a good woman, and she came
from Helsdon Hall beyond Norwich.
Thirdly and lastly, Helnved, I come to a
clear demonstrative Argument to prove this
man to be u good man, and a Man of God,
uid that is tills : There was one Tliom.n, a
very poor Heggar Hoy ; liecamo outof Scot
land over the Tweed, upon tho back of a
Iun cow; it was not a Hlack Cow, nor a
Iirindled Cow, nor a Drown Cow ; no He
lnved, it lias a Dun Cow. Well, lleloved,
tills poor boy c.uno to this good Man's door,
lo this Man of God's door ; he did not do as
some would havo done, givo him alms and
send him away, or chide him and make him
ii p.is, and send him to his own Country.
No, Helot ed, lie took him into hid owu
House, luul bound him Apprentice toaQuii-
suiith in Norwich ; after his time was out
he took him home again, and married him
o a Kinswoman of ids Wife's, one Mrs.
Christian Hobertsou hero present there she
sits; she was a very cool fortune, and to
her this good man gave a considerable joint
ure, Iiy her lie nail three daughters, this
good man look home tho eldest, brought her
up to Woman's li-tate, married her to a very
Honble, Geutn, Mr. Huxton, here present,
there he sits, gave him a vast portion with
her, and the remainder of his Estate he gave
to ids otlur two daughters ; now was not
this a g'iril man and a Man of God, thlnk
you, and hi wife u good woman, nnd
alio came from UeUdon Hall beyond Nor-
wlch,
"lleloved, you may remember some time
since I preached nt tho funeral of Mrs,
l'rockter. ut which time I troubled you with
manvofher transcendant virtues, but your
memories perhaps may fall you, and there
fore I shall remind you of ono or two of
them,
'Tho first is, she was as good a Knitter a
any in the .County of Norfolk j when her
husband nid family were iu lied and asleep
she would get a cushion and clap herself
down by the tire and sit and knit, but, He-
loved she was no pridigal woman, for to
spare caudle he would stir up the fire with
her knitting pins, and by that fire she would
sit and knit, aud make as good work as
many women do by daylight : lleloved, I
have a patrol stockings upon my legs that
were kuit in tlio BHine manner, and they
aro the best stockings lhat ever I wore in
my life. Secondly, she wat the bet maker
of Toast In Drink that ever I eat in uiv life
and they were brown toasts, too, for when I
used to go iu a uiorulug sho would ask me
to havo a toast, which I was very willing to
do because she had nn artificial way of
toasting it, no ways slack or burning it, be
sides she had such n pretty way uf grating
nutmeg, of dipping It in the beer, and such
a piece of raro Chceso that I must needs say
they were tho best toasts that ever I eat in
my life.
"Well, lleloved, tho days are short, and
many of you havo a great way home, and
therefore I hasten to n conclusion. I think
I sufficiently proved this man to bo a good
man nnd his wife a good woman, but fearing
your memories should fall you, I shall re
peat tho particulars, viz. :
1. His Love to his Neighbours ;
2. His Charity to tho Poor ;
3. His Goodness to his Tenants ;
4. His Devotion in his Prayers,
In saying Amen to the 1'rayers of Mr. Cole,
Gihbs, and myself, Hut moro especially for
that transcendent Act of Charity iu enter
taining the Heggar Hoy, in binding him
Apprentice to a Gunsmith, and afterward
marrying him to a Kinswoman of his wife.
and bringing up his eldest daughter to wo
man s estate, and marrying her to that Hon
ble. GcntlemaifMr. I!uxten,'nnd giving him
avast portion with her, and giving the re
mainder of his estate to his other daughters;
was not this a good .Man and a Man of God,
think you, and his wife a good woman, and
she came from Helsdon Hall beyond Nor
wich.
"Well, lleloved, ho hath done his work-
on earth Courageously, Valiantly, and Man
fully in lighting under tho world's banner of
good Husbandry in getting money ; ho is
now at rest, and so tvo leave him." JCditor't
Drawer in Harper's Magazine for December.
Couldn't Civilize Uim.
A IVnl.L P.IIUCATEt) INDIAN- ttnTURXS TO
HIS SCALPS AND TOMAHAWKS.
Some Indians cannot be civilized nnd some
can ; but a half breed is never civilized.
Take a half-breed 'Injun' from his tribe,
educate him and mako him intelligent, and
he invariably becomes tho meanest nnd
most vindictive of Indians, An instance
corroborating this assertion was brought to
notice recently nt the State Lino depot. A
well educated Indian of the Otoe tribe, just
lrom school in Carlisle, I'.i., passed through
this city ou his way to join the tribe of his
mother in tho Indian Territory. Ho wi
accompanied by Major Charles Bushness,
nncot tlie agents of the colonized Indian
tribes, from whom somo interesting facts
were obtained. Tho young man is tho le
gitimate son of Captain McDougal, formerly
olllie-ltu dragoons. At the beginning of
tlie war McDougal went South from Fort
Kearney, Neb., aud left his Indian wife and
sou, both of whom returned to the Otoe re
serve in Northwestern Kansn. McDougal
alter returned to the Federal service and en
listed in tlie United States Infantry, com
manded by Utilonel Carrington, recently at
Camp Chase, Ohio. Ho went witli the 18th
T..r.. ... , ..
auiaiury tvesi at ino Close oi tuo war, and uv
some meaus found his Otoe wife and re
claimed his son, then a boy of fifteen year.
lie sent linn Last to his old home in Penn
sylvania, and has done nil in his power to
make his half Induu son n whits man. Uy
the assistance of some of the friends of his
early days, Mc')ougal had liision appointed
to the West l'oint "Academy, about threo
years ago, but he failed to pass thu required
examination. As a hist resort, and by way
of encouragement, he permitted him to visit
his mother iu her tribal home in tho Indian
territory. He remained there nearly a year,
and got into siine horo stialing trouble in
Southern Kui gas. His father's influence-In
Washington saved tho young Indian from
serious punishment, and lie was sent to his
father at Carlisle Harrack-, l'a., where he
was aiuin sent to school. He is now of age
and to decide for himself. His actions in
the Hast haye discouraged and disgusted his
father. At his own request lis 'has been
sent hack lo his mother, and Jerome H.in-
tiste McPougal will nasunia his tribal title
among the Otoes. Young Jeronio was tho
centre of attraction nt the Slate Line depot.
no is mire than hull white in his appear- aml 'caning on Ins shoulder. A long
ance, aud he lias all the manners anil de- waUtol straugcr from the Hit, having sore
pertinent of a young whito mau. In a brief
conversation ttilh him he assured the inter
rogator, that he felt happy to get back
io ma iniHiit-r mm ins lamuy menus.
He siid lie was tired of white people and
wanted to go home. Ho seemed to be well
posted on current topics of tho day, and
could drink whisky like a white man nnd
smoke like a Mexican, He says lie goes to
his tribe to do the best he can for them. He
is Indian and ' propose a Union the breech
clout, shave off his moustache and become
one of the Otoes. A'nruoi Citg Timet,
I'romlSflO to 1871 215,000,000 acres of
public lands were granted by Congress to
States and corporations tor railroad purposes-,
1 r,fl flArt AAA l il.!. i. it... ll..ln. 1 ....
11)9,000,000 ot this to the Pacific roads, and
nearly 5,000,000 aeres have been granted for
canal purposes ; lor tho Pacific roads a debt
of 504,000,000 was assumed, now swollen to
92.000,000, and promising to exceed $160,
000,000 ; and the largest grantee proposes to
repay the (joverninentby praitically borrow-
ng auctv from it,
In struggling to make n dull-brained boy
understand what consicnce is, a teacher fi
nally asked : ' hat makes you feel un-
comfortablo afler you have done wrong?1
'My papa's big leather strap,' feelingly ie
piled the boy.
vtny is a latiy marrying like a chimes
ringer I liecauso one rings tho changes,
tvuiie inooiuercuangestiie rings.
'Are theso soaps all ono scent Y inquired
a lady of a juvenile salesman, 'No, ma am,
they'ro all ten cents,' replied tho innocent
youngster,
A strange disorder has seized upon cattle
In Cromwell and llocky Hill, Conn. It
niauy of tho symptoms of hydrophob'n. The
animals begin uy jumping, moaning,
bellowing; they grow worse, and in threo
days they die, If approached, they become
furious aud dangerous. All attacked by
tlie disease Iiare died,
Kdvtin Murphy has no stories nf ;iiis own
drunkenness to tell in hi temperance speech
es, because, ho has never been int-mpeiate;
but he relates the i-xperieuce of his father,
Waucis aiurpby, with considerable i-ffect.
Poetical.
OLD MAN GUAM.
BV 1. T. TKOWOntDOI.
In little Oram Court lives old man Oram,
Tho patriarch of tho ptaco,
vviicre often youH see his face,
Eager and trreedy, peering about,
As be goes bustling In and out
At a wriggling, rickety pice
llrlsk octogenarian's pace.
lie rattles his stick at my heels, and brags,
As he cornea shunting along the the nans
Drags of his riches and brags oi his rags,
Much work and little play.
' You seo where I am," ejus old man Oram
"you seo whero 1 am to-day
"I enmo to town at twelve j oars old,
With a shilling tn this 'ere pocket"
You should seo him chuckl- and knock It t
"The town to mo was a Mg stout chest,
With fortunes locked In the tU ; but I guessed
A stiver key would unlock It
My llttlo key would unlock It.
1 found In a rag-shop kept by a Jew
A lUce to sleep an J a Job to do.
And managed to make ny shilling two ;
And that's alwaj s been my way.
Now seo whero I ttm,"crtes old mm Oram
"Now see where I am to-doy I"
In his den a toy of the butcher's shop
lie lies In his lair ot husks,
And sups on gruels and rusts,
And a bono now and then to pick and gnaw,
Itli hardly n tooth la his tough oldjaw.
Hut a couplo of curious tusks
Ah, picturesque, terrible tusks I
Though half Gram Court ho calls hli own,
Here, hoarding his rents, ho has lived alone,
until, ltko a hungry wolf, ho has grown
Gaunt and shaggy and gray.
"You bee tvhoro I am," grow led old man Gram,
As I looked In to-day.
"I might have a wife to mako my broth,
Which would be convenient rather I
And y ounkers to call rnc father.
nut a wife would be after my chink, you seo ,
And bantlings for them tint like I" snarls no ;
"I never would have tlio bother
They're an awful expenso ani bother I
I went lo proposo at flfty.four,
Hut stopped ns I raised my hand to the door:
'To thlok ot a dozen brats or more 1'
s-at s I, and I turned away.
Now see where I am," brags old man Oram
"Only seo where 1 am to-day 1
"I had once a ntecc, who came to town
As poor as any churcnimo :
she tvautcd lo keep myTouse.
'Tut 1 I Into no house to keep ; go back.'
I gave her a dollar, and told her to pack ,
A t tt hlch she inado such a touse
You never did seo such a touso I
Vi hole rows ot houses were mine, she said :
I had more bank shares than hairs In my hend,
And gold llko so much Iron or lead-
All which I couldn't gain ssy,
Men &eo where I nm'grlns old man Gram
They sco tthcro I am to-day.
"But If there Is any thing I detest.
And for which 1 line no occasion,
Mr It Is a poor relation.
They'ro alwas plenty nnd aln-aj s In need ;
Take one, and soon you tt Ut hat c to feed
Just about half the nation
They'll swarm from all otcr the nation I
And 1 haio a rule, though it's nothing new
Tls ono that I learneJ from my friend the Jew :
Whatever 1 fsncy, whatever I do,
I always ask, will It pay 1
Now see tt here I am," boasts old man Oram
"Just seo whero I am to-day 1"
Tho llttlo boys dread his coming tread,
They are pale as he passes bv,
And the sauciest curs aro shy,
Ills stick is so thick and ho looks so grim ;
Not even a beggar will beg ot htm ;
You should hear him mention why 1
There's a very good reason why,
Th poor ho hates, and ho hasn't a friend,
And nono but a fool wU) gUo or lend;
"For, only begin, there'll bo no end
That's what I alit ays say.
Now see where I am," crows old man tTram
"Just seo tt hero I am to-dny 1"
Ills miserly gain Is the -harvest grain ;
All the rest Is chaff and stubblo ;
And tho life beyond Is a bubble.
We aro as the beasts j and he thlnks,on the whole,
TU quite as well lhat ho lias no soul,
for that might glto him trouble
Might glvo him a deal ot trouble.
Tho long and short of llio old man's creed
Is to live for himself and to feed his greed.
llio world Is a very.goml world Indeed,
If only a chap might stay :
"Only stay tt Ure I am," tt hlncs old man Gram
"slay Juat whin! ! am to-day 1"
llarper'l Magazine.
It WiibU't the, Touthache.
l'1 '1' ladies' waiting'rooui at tho Central
"cpot the other day wcro a newly-married
couplu from Gra-s Lake. They had been
vi-itinpr iu tho city two or threo days, and
,vcr then icady to go home. They sat side
u' S'JC of course, his arm around her waist,
eyes and a big heart, walked iu, taw them
thus seated, and in about u minute he asked
t'.ie husband i
"Has that woman tlicio got tho toothache?"
lhi husband looked up in suprise, but
inado no answer. After two or thren min
utes tha lon'-waisted man njaiti remarked :
"If that woman lias got tho t-iothaclio, I've
got a bottlo of peppermint in
my hatthel
here.
Tho bride lolled her big whito eyes
around, and tlie hu-band looked louicwl a',
embarrassed. The man from down Kast
unlocked eis satchel, fumbled auioug shirts
and collars, and brou?ho up four ounces
of peppermint essence. Ilu uncorked it,
touched the contents of tho bottlo against
I ... a
his big red tongue, and, .handing it forward
toward tlio husband, tellingly aid:
Just havo her sop somo on a lug and
rub her goonis with it. Wo've Used it in
our family for ."
Tlio btide's eyes threw out sparks as the
lifted her head from its loving position,
and, striking at the bottle, she snarled out ;
"Tuthache, you fuie I If you dou't kuow
the difference 'tween true love and tho tuth-
- ache you'd better pick grass with the geese I
"My Lord!" ga-ped tho man, and ho hur
ried out witli his satchel iu onu baud aud the
bittle iu tho other. Detroit Free l-ct.
A great ndvanccis to be made Iu the camo
of base ball next beasou. The ball is to be
pitched with a small rilled piece. Lowell
CWt'er. Tho next step iu this highly in-
tellectual gamo will be a cast iron batter and
cttcher, and one patent man to run the
I bases, all ttuikedbyetc.ini, This will per-
m't the members of each nine lo sit on the
1 feme and swear at the decisions of the um-
plrj. XurrUtown Herald.
has When a faithful mother goes on n tthal-
ing expedition she never fails to get all tho
und blubber she wants.
More than loO.OOO boxes of clothes-pins
aro annually shipped from this country lo
l.iigluud,
Kvery farmer should provide himself with
an ice house.
It crsts thirty six and ft half cents per
mile to run a locomotive.