im.)niwt.1ifiirifmt'tiw!!!
in
THE COLUMBIAN,
tOMIWBU IHMOCIUT, hTtttOFTIIII NORTH AMDCOLDX
ClA'l CONSOUDArKiU
Issued weekly, ovcry lilday morning, nt
iihuoMsnt'itu, coi.V.miiia coiNn, pa.
At Tivd iini.i,Aim per jcar, pavnlilc In mlvnnro, or
tliirlni the year. After I Hi' explrnilim ot thejenr
ti-M will l'i" elmwrt. To stilisctlbcrs out of Ilia
count tho terms nro H pei r, strictly In ndiam h
M VI II not paid In advance nml tf.oilt paitnent. In
tli ibm'iI In' nml tli" nr.
No paper discontinued, except nt the. niillon nf I he
piihlMu r.s, until nil uirearuifi'S urn paid, hut Inn'
ununited credll-s ulivr this i xplr.il lull of tins llrnt
yenr will not bo (riven.
All imperii sent nut o( tho State or to uljtiint pint
ollleos limit Iw pnlil tor In advance, unless it rcspon.
Klhln person In Uuhiinhl.i county assumes to uy I lit)
Milin ilpllon duo on demand.
rosTAUD Is no longer exuded from Biibicrlliers In
tho county.
JOB PBINTIKTG.
Tim .tnhlilur Depart ment nftho cot.UMiii in Is very
complete, nnd our .1 li l'i Intlnir will eoniparo favora
bly with that of the lark'o cities. Alluotk ilonoon
demand, neatly anil nt moderate pities.
Columbia County Offiuial Directory.
President .ludire William Elwcll.
Associate ,Iuil,jes-lnihi Dcrr. M. (I. llUKhes.
I'rnthiiiintnrv, Ac. II. Frank Kail'.
CinittHtcnoicr.iplier H. N. Walker,
fti'irliter S lleeorder Williamson II. .tacoby.
district Attorne .lolm M. flai k.
r-hcrllT
Survivor liao Dnnltf.
Treasurer Hr II. W. .MclteynoMi.
liiiiniiilisloiioia .lolm llerncr, f. W. Mcllenry,
Joseph Hands.
(MnilnlssluiiersTlerk Wllll.tm Klleklmtim.
AudltoM-M. V. 11. Kline, .1.11. Ousoy, i:. II. llrown.
I'oi'oni'r-l'lijrhwll.Miirphv.
Jury UummtssloncM .lacob It. 1'iltz, William II.
t.'ountv Miipeilnlenilent-WIIII.im II, Hnyiler.
Illooni l'uor District IHrt"ClorM ). 1. Knl.Senlt,
Win. Krumer, lllnoiushiirtf nml Thomas t'ruiclln;,
tico.t, o. r. Kut, Secretary.
Bloomsburg Official Directory.
WoomsUurg nankins company .lolm A. fiinslon,
president, II. II. (iru'r, t'asldir.
Kirs' Nil lonal Hank Uluilesit. raxlon.' rcslileut
J, P. Tuslln, Cashier.
Columbia Coimiv Mu'iial Sailnir 1 und and I.onn
As-iiK.lallon-1,. II. Utile, l'resldenl, u. w, .Miller,
(secret n ry.
llluniiisiiiirfj; llulldlnnnilSavlti(f ruml Assnelallon
Wni. Peacock, President,. I. II. liulilson, Secretary.
llloiimsburi; initial Ruing Kiiml AmhcIiiiIihi J,
J. llroHcr, Pieslileip, C. l. ll.ukley, Scciolury.
CIIU11C1I UlltKCTOllY.
11A1TI3T C1IUUCII.
Hcv.J. l'.TusI In, (Supply.)
Sillidav Services lux n. in. and r.if p. tn.
Suniliv School 'J n. in.
Prayer .Meettns-Kvery Wednesday evening at Ci;
e'ock.
Hj.iis free. Tho public are IniHcd to attend.
sr. MATTHt'.W'a I.CTIICIIAN CIRM1CII.
Mlnls er-ltev. J. MeCron.
Sunday Sen-Ices loio u. in. and 6)f p. in.
Sunday School !i n. m.
iT.u er .Mco.lng-liicry Wednesday evening at c
clock,
heats free. Nopows rented. All nro welcome.
rUKSnvTEIltANCItfltCII.
itliitsler-ltev. Stuart MHohell.
Sunday Senlees-IOM a. in. unit 6i p. m.
Sunday Selioul li a. m.
Prayer -Meei lug 1: cry Wednesday evening al Gtf
o'rlocic.
soasfree. Xo pews rented. Strangers welcome.
METHODIST I:i'!SC0CAt. C1ICKCII.
Presldilig Elder llev. N'. S. lnickliiclmm.
Mlnlnei Itev. J. S. .Mo.Muir.iy.
aimd.iy Sen lees l",'j and ox p. ln'
siu.dav School i p. in.
Iillite Class Cvert Monday evenlngat e, o'clock.
Vouiig .Meirs Pr.i er Men lng-i:vtry Tuesday
OTenlnirn' o'clock,
(leniial Prajer .Meetlng-Every Thuroday evening
1 o'clock.
KEtOHMKI) eill'IICII.
Corner of Third and Iron streets.
Pastor-ltev. T. I', llorfnieler.
ilesldciieu i:ust street, upp. Third street.
Sunday services lu1 a. in, and 7 p. m.
Sunday School 3 p. in.
Pr.ijcr .Meeting S iturday, 1 p. m.
. in u luilleil Thero Is alnajs loom,
servleis every Sunday afternoon at 2 o'clock at
ileller's church, 3!adlsou township.
bT. rACL'S ClIUUCH.
Hector
suiiilay Services 10 a. in., C p. in.
Sunday School 'J a. m.
l'li-st Sunday In the month, Holy Communion.
Services preparatory to Cuinmuiilon mi I'rlday
evening beluru tlio st Sunday to each month.
Pews rented; but ever body welcome.
KVAN'IIV 1.IC.I1. UIIUKCII.
Presiding I'.lder-IleH. A. I.. liees-er.
JIliiMi'i Uov. J. A. Irvine.
Sunday Sen leu 3 p. m., In the Iron street Church.
IT.uer Meeting l.v cr Sabbath nti! p. in.
.All nro United. Allaiu welcuine.
TUB t'lll ltCll OKCIIIII3T.
Meet In tho Opera IIouso every Lord's day, at 3
p. in. and ow p. m.
Ilegular Jieetlng of tho Church for worship, 3
p. in.
Sunday evening Lecture, by 1!. K. onls, r. p.m.
'Iho public are cordially Hulled to attend.
Seats free.
i.oo.Msi!Uuu;DimccTonY.
QCilOOI, OIM)i:i!P, l.lanK-, just pi inleil anil
O neatly bound In small books, on hand and
fur sale at tho coi.i-jiiiian onice. Feb. la, lsTs-tt
J)LANIC DKKIW, on I'nrclmi.'iit ami I.incn
) Paper, cuminon and furAUmlnls rutnrs, Kxccu
is and trustees, for salo cheap at tho i'oi.lmui an
onice.
AnitlAClKCEHTIKICATKS.iiutiirliiteil
and for salo at tho Coix-siuian Oillee. Mlnls-
i-rs nf tho tlosnel and Justices sliould supply them-
fcelves with thct.o necessary articles.
TUSnMCESniiiRwlalilos' I-ee-Tlills foFBale
t) nt Mm Coi.ciiniAN ofllce. They contain tho cor
rected fees as established by Ihe last Act of the Leg.
Mature upon tho subject, i:ery Justice and Con
stable should have one.
rrKN'DUE NOTES just printed ami for sale
cheap at the Columiuas ofllce,
Mi:i:ciiANTs.Ni)(inuci:its.
II
C. IIOWEl!, Hats anil Caps Hunts and
. Shoes, Main stieet, above Cum t House.
Q 11. MILLER .t- SOX, dealers in Dry
kJ (loods, groeeiies, (ueenswaie, Hour, tall,
Miues, notions, etc., .Main btreet.
7 11. MAIZE, .Mamiiiutli Orocerv, linoOio
. eeilcs, I'Vulta, Nuts, Provisions, rlc.,Mtilnnnd
lentio bin its.
HOOTS AND KllOr.S.
"TKNUY KI.M1M, Mniial'aetiirer ami dealer
I In bouts and shoet?. groceries, ete.. .Main St..
.ill lUoioiisbiug.
IjI M. KXOlil!. Dealer in I'.outs nml Shoes,
I J. l.Uust and best siyles, eoilier.MulnandMaikel
btrcets, In tho old pu.t ulnce.
CLOCKS, WATCIlllS, AC.
Ci: SAVAtiK. Dealer in Clocks, Watches
j and Jewelry, Malnbt., Just beluw thuCenlral
, 1'itorr.ssioNAL caiids.'
IjA I!. IKM.I'I!, Alloini'v id Law. liooms in
Jli i:.siliunge r.Un.k, lid lloor, I'.loouibbuig, Pa. m:
C (i. I1AKKLEY, Allniney-e.t.Law. Odiee
j. In Hi ovur's building, indhtorj, Dooms 4 G.
Oct. 15, '15.
Bit. VM. M. HKIlEi:, Surgeon nmll'livsi.
clan, onice S. K. comer Dock and -Market
bireets.
T 1!. HVANH, M. P., Surgeon and I'l.ysi
) . clnn, (onice and Debldcnco on Third bticct,
comer Jencrsou.
J.
II. McKKLVY, M. D , Surgeon ami I'hy
blcl.in.noiih side Main btrcet, below Market.
H. HOIilSO.V, Atloniey.at-I.aw. Offic
In Ilarlinan's building, Main btixct.
QAMUEL JACOIIY, Marble and lirown
IO Mono Works, Dast Uloomsburg, Derwlck road.
KOSENSTOCIC, l'lmtograplier, over
Clark & Wolf's store, Main street.
D
II. II. C. IlOWJUt, Surgeon DcntUt, Main
bi., uuuve iu. i.uuri. iiuuse.
MISCKLLANEOUS.
AVID LOWKNllJvttG. Merchant Tailor
Main St., abovo central Hotel.
IS. KU1IN, dealer in Meat, Tallow, etc.,
. centra street, Ictwccn Second and Third.
riMIOMAS WEI1H, CicctiWy and IlikcT
I wholcsalo und retail, Kxchunge Ulock, '
Gl W. COliELL, I'lirnitiire ICooms, three
f. btorj bri.l(,Jlalnbtruit,weblofJlaiketbt.
OUANO KVILLK DIUEUTOKY.
4
1!. IIEIIHINO, Carpenter nml builder,
Main btreet below Pine.
llUOKHOltN.
M
disc
O.&W. II. SIIOE.MAKEH, Dealers in
i Dry (Joods.Orocerles and (U ncial Mcrehau-
OATAWIS8A.
"yMH. AIIIJOTI', Altorney-at-Law, Main
BY. PAIJ.MAN, Merchant Tailor, Recotul
, blreet, imbblns' building,
"yM. Ij. KYUIILY,
ArroitNIV-AT-IJvW,
Catawlssa, I'a.
Collections promptly mado una rcmltteil. Ofllio
opiioslte Catawlsstt Deposit Hank, Cin-33
jroTicu.
I'rom this dato tho Iiloomshnrg (las Company will
put In bervlco ilpiis at llrst cost una furnlsli niid bet
mi le 8 at lour dollars each.
'Ihe cumpaiiy uuiu on hand a lot of gas tar butted
far palming tools, und ijsta or oilier thuUrs placed
under ground.
I'rioo in cents rcr tulloa or ja.W per barrel.
OC. 15, 15- I'. W. U1LLKK,
beet.
Si IISll1Y' EiltorsandPrcprlcler:
1UJSINKS8 OAHPS.
yn. A. L. TUU.N'El!,
licsideiico on Mmkct Street ono door below
P. .1. WnllerV.
Ofllcomer Klelm's Diuif store, oniee hours from
110 4 p. m, for treatment of diseases of the Hj e, Dar
nun i uroai.
All calls night or day promptly atlended lo.
Apr.'U'Tf.-tf
It. .1. U. HUTTElt,
PHYSICIAN fiSOIKIKOX,
orficc, North Jlatkit Miect,
Mar.2T,'7l-y llloumsbiirg, IM.
"TU. 1!. 1'. ClAItPN'Ei:,
PHYSICIAN AND KUIiOKON,
iii.oo.Msmmo, p..
Ofllce above .l.h'chujlcr .V son's Hardware Store.
ApMS'T.i-tf
gAMUKL KNOltll,
A T T O i: X K Y-A T-I, A W,
HLoo.Msnt'p.o, pa.
Offlc, Hartman's Dlocl;, comer Main and Market
E
t. Mtttttl
J
ATTUIIN i;y.AT-IA V,
oi-Kior-IIonm No. 1, "rolumU.in" IHiiMlnp.
Sept. lMW..
C
1 W.MII.LElf,
ATTOHNDV-AT-LAW
Olllcoln Drawer's building, second lloor, room No.
1. Uloomsburg, Pa. Juljl,J3-y
Q V..I.l!Ut:KALEW,
attoi!Ni:ys-at-i,aw,
Uloomsburg, Pa.
nniee en Main street, (list door lielow Court House
-Mar.i!,'7l-y
J V. it J. M. CLA1IK,
ATTO 1 1 N i: YS- AT-LA W,
I'.looinshurg, I'a.
onice In Tint s llulldlng. April 10,'JI-y
A. cr.EVr.uxo smith. iii.uvfv ewino pjiith.
A CUEVELINO SMITH & SOX,
ATTOKNKYS-AT-LAW,
r.looinshurg, l'n.
:JA11 business entrusted to our care will rcclovc
prompt attention. Julyl,'73-y
Tji 1'. IHLLMEYIU!,
ATTOItNRY AT CV.
Oi ncc Adjoining C. 11. 4: W. J. Duekalcw.
Bloomsburg, I'a.
Apr. 14,';o-ly.
E. 11. I.ITTI.K. nOU'T. 11. MTTLE.
II. .t It. It. LITTLE,
"J ATTOIiNDYS-AT-LAW,
Uloomsburg, IM.
C7ynulne.ss before the u. S. Patent Olllce attended
to. Olhco In the Columbian llulldlng. ly 3S
E
-)ltOCICWAY & EIAVELL,
A T TO It X K Y S-A T-I. A V,
Cnu-MiiUN llni.mNO, Dloonrburg, Pa.
Members of Iho I'nlted States Law Association.
Collections made In nuvpait or Ameilca.
Agents for Continental Life Ii.suianee Company of
New oi k. Assets nearly T.ei'O.dtni. 'I he best In tho
country, send for dCMilptlie pamplikt. tt
"yiLLIAJl liltY.SOX,
ATTOltXKY-AT-LAW,
Ccn I nil In, I'a.
I'eh l?, -;c-ly.
ILiUUI AN & IIASSEIIT.
FOUNDERS, MACHINISTS,
A N D
IRON-SMITHS.
Idist Street, lielow Rail Road,
BLOOISBUG, PA.
We respect fully call public attention to tho follow
ing rails that : 'Ihey inanufactuio llrst class
MIXK CAlt WHEELS AXD AXLKS
end all kinds of coal llieaki r Castings. Theynlso
make nil kinds of ( ar, Miiclilne, IH-UIku and other
c.iMIiil's -i I by eoiitinilois geneiully. 'Ihey also
lU.lOUIill iUIU
HICATIXCI AXD COOK STOYLS,
and nie piepared to fuinlh all kinds of repalis, such
nsoiales, 1 lit-.. Pile Uriel;, stretcheis, Ac. 'Ihey
I (l lOll SI 11 lltlj UII 1UII1U
PLO rS AND PLOW POINTS,
Largo Iron Kettles, Dormers' liclts, Wed Soles, Wag
on Duxes, Cellar Orates, Ac. They are also prepared
lofuiiilsh
Saw and Grist Mill Machinery,
Miaftlng, Pulley's, Ac. Theylpay f peelal attention to
Repairing Tlu'eshing Machines
lieapers, tc.
Tho Proprietors arobolh practical mechanics. Try
them.
Dec. 3,1S75-em
AMKKIOAN AND FOHKIGNI'ATKNTS-
(iimoiiK & Co., succebsors to Chlnman, DosmerA
Co., solicitors. IMtents pioctircd In all countries.
No fees in aiivanck. Nocluuiru iiidcss the patent
is grunted. No fees for making preliminary exam
inations. No additional tun for obtaining und lou
ductlngn rehearing. Dy uiecent decision of tho
Comnilsstoner am, rejected applications may be re
vived. Special attention given to Hiteircieniocnses
before Iho Patent Olllce, extensions befoioCongirss,
Intilngemenl stills In dirreieiit states, mid all ungu
ium appeilalnlug to intentions or patents. Send
stamp tu (lllinoro A: Co. for pamphlet of sixty pages.
LAND CASES, LAND WAUUANTS AND
Contested land cases prosecuted before tho U.B.
Ocnerul Land oillcennd Depaitmentof tlio Interior.
Private land claims, mining and pre-emption claims,
and homestead eases attended lo. IjuiU snip in 4u,
so and lou acru iilcces for b.ilo. This scrip Is assigna
ble, and can lie located In tho name of tho purchaser
upon any i;oH-imuenl fund subject to prliuto entry,
nt ll.tts ierncre. It Is of eipial Mduowlili bounty
land IVuirunts. Send blainp lo (dlmore Co. for
pamphlet of Instructions.
A It It I A ItS OF PAY AND IJOUNTY.
oilli crs, boldlcrs and sailors cf tho lato war, or
tin Ir helrs.aro In many cases entitled to money fiom
the government of vUilchlhey hiiiuno knowledge.
Willi) rull history of beivlee, and statu amount ur
pay and bounty lecelied. Unclose blainp to (llhnoru
,v.Co and mull reply, after examination, will bu
glien you free.
PliNSIONS.
All nftlcers, soldlera and sailors woundciLmptured
or Injured In the Into war, however bllghtly.um ob
tain u pension by addressing oilmoru K Co
cases proseciilid bycillmoro ic Co. before thasu
picinn toui l of tho United stales,! ho court of claims,
and tho southern claims eommlsslou.
lUuii depaitment cf our business Is conducted In a
separate buicuu, under charge of tho same experi
enced parties cmploj ed by tho old llrm. Prompt at
tcnllou tuull business entrusted to ulLMOUU h CO.
la llnw Li'(iir,-jl Vl'i. ili.klr.. ii i..,.. .... .......
bcnlnglt. Address,
UII.JIOKK x CO.,
CK9 I' street, Washington. D. c.
Jan si.TC-tr. . b ' '
7KEAS IIKOWN'S 1NSUHANCK AC1KN.
OY, Kxchango Hotel, Uloomsburg, I'a.
A'.ina, Ins Co., of Hartford. Connecticut,
Llierpool, Ixindou and (llobe
Hojulof Liverpool ,
I jincaiiiililro
l'lro Association, I'hlladelphla,
American of Philadelphia
Alias of Hartford
Wyoming, of Wilkes llarro
l'lirmera Mutual of Damlllo ,
Danvlllo Mutual , ,,
Dome, New York
Commercial Union
Capita!.
, o,wo,us
, -o.ku.uw
, 13(1X1,1100
. ln.UHVW
, 3,100,000
. I.IW.HNI
, CI O.tHIU
sai.iHi.)
. 1,000,0,10
. 73,000
. fi.GHl.lloll
. lT.oou.oiio
lUSWdoo
March Sd.ll-y
Oil in ftO I,cr 6y nt home. Samples wortbll
Oil IU v-w Irue. Biimsom il Co.. lurtbuut. mmnn.
March JO, 7Wy. ' J
ULOOjISIJUHG tannery.
. . A. bi i: II lUXfi
T KSI'KCTKITM.Y nnnntmces to Ihe public
X that he has reopened
MN'VDEU'rf TAXXERY,
flSVSf (olilstund) lllnnimljui-g, l'a at iho
JXrC l'orksot thu Ilspv and I.lvht Street
'UVLre raids, whero all desfilptlons of
B....jga leiilher will bo made In Iho most,
substantial and woikmaiillke manner, nml sold nt
prices to suit the limes. Thu highest prlcolncash
will at all times bo paid for
0 11 K K X II I K s
of evcrvdCFeilpllon In the country. Tho publlepat
lonnge Is respectfully solicited.
Uloomsburg Oct. 1, 1S7.V
CARRIAGES
MANUFACTORY
DLOOMSlll'IKI, PA.
JL 0. SLOAX & ItltOTHEIl
HAYE on hand anil for pale nt the most
reasonable rates a splendid stock of
:.tstJti.ira:s, mKJGir.s,
and every description of Wagons both PI.AIN and
DANCY,
Warranted to bo mado nf the best nndmoM duralile
mneerlals, nndbv the most experienced workmen.
All work sent, out. fiom the iMiibllshmiiit will be
toiind Id tin of thu highest class and sure to glio per
feet satisfaction. Thej have alsoallneassoitmcntof
SLEIGHS
of all the newest and mn't fashionable M vies well
and c.iicfully made and of the best mnletlal.
An Invneeflnn nf their wolk Is asked as It Is be-
lteved that nuno supeiloi-can bo found In thu coun
try. Oct. 9, 1375-tf.
WANTED,
1,000 GOOD MO
to call at
CROSLWS CARRIAGE SHOP
to Inspect his work, and he will guaranteo sou can
make 52, on a llrst class Top Doggy It J oil buy of
him for cash. I olfer for sale at cost,
TliN lircniDs,
3 PiiAl'.TONS,
7 .sHIt'TINO TOP li OPEN DUllOILS
The price of my wagons Is as follows:
3 Phaetons, San ent pat. w heels, gum top, one for
$173, cost.
2 l'lano box, portable top, pat. wheels, gum top, one
for ? I "s, cost.
5 Piano box, open, patent wheels, steel the, one for
f 12.1, eut.
3 Platform spilug wagons, patent wheels, 2 seats,
one for 10. cost.
As I nm closing out my business tho otlerlmako
wtU stand till thu llrst of July. .Ml wolk wiirruntid
lo stand, nnu arom.iuuoi goou mauiiai,
A. S. CHOSSLl'.Y.
March 313m.
MISCELLAXEOUS.
BltOWX'S HOTEL, Illoomslmrg, I'a., 1!.
Stohner, Proprietor. Aeeommodatlons lirst
euss. $1.23 lutl.no per day. Dcslainaiitattached.
Octobers, '75-tf
pENTltAL HOTEL,
A FIRS T-C L A S S II O U S E,
Oct, 8,'751y
JOHN LAYCOCK, I'rop'r.
N
I0W SALOOX AXD UESTAUItANT.
rl lte oritfrsl"!if il has onenril nlirst.flais r.'ltlllir
Iloii'u In the D.xch.iligo lllu k, foiiinrly oeeiijili d by
D. stunner, wheiu his custoinus will Unit eiciy
thing In his lino.
MILTON CHADLLS'.
I'tb lS-Jm.
0.
M . li 11 0 W iST,
bus leinoved Ids Docl and Shoptoio from Ilrown's
Motel to 1st iloorubine Wagonseller and sharpless'.
Towanda Hoots a spiclalty. liepallingdoiio ulshoit
notice.
f M. DItlXKElt, GUXniul LOCKSMITH
sewing Machines and .Machinery cf all kinds re
paired. oi i:it i norm llulldlng, Dlooinsburg, pa.
oi t l,'7f. ly
JfXCHANGE HOTEL,
. Opposite tlio Com I House,
DLOOMSIIUHO, I'A.
The LAiiarsT.andDESTlnallie.speetslnlhecounty
W. D. KOONH.
Pioprletor.
Oct. s,'7r,-iy
TQKNT1ST.
ItY.
II.C.HOWED.DDNTIST,
Itespectfully orrers his professional services to tho
ladles and gentlemen of I'.looiiisliurg nnd Mclnlty.
Ho Is prepared tiiuliend to all tho vai ions operations
In tlio lino of his piofcssloii. und IspioMdeil with the
latest Improved Poiuti.ain '1 klth, which will bo In.
serled on gold plating, silver and lubber base to
look as well as tho natural teeth. Teeth extracted
by all the now nnd most approved met hods, and all
operations on tho teeth carttully and properly at
tended tu.
onice a few doors abovo tho Court House, same
BldO. Oct. S 75
T? J. THOltNTON
J 'J. wo
mild announce totho citizens of Dlnoms-
Durg and vicinity that he has Just received a full and
complete assortment of
WALL PAPDH, WINDOW SHADES,
FIXTt'llES, C01I113, TASSELS,
and all other good In his lino of business. All tho
newest and most approved patterns of tho day uru
alwajs to bo touudluhls establishment, Main btreet,
below Market, oct.8,'75
Hl&ULIfrTsuDdarJ Cucumber KUI 0ri,run Co.'t ruiorR. wllh
c;i'ir lluln.,01 1 Bti.t new nyUt, auj til t.lutt.1. Iiiirrcirmetiu.
V-l". fi'iV r1 " f '"JW"."? "f '""'"l l"ll iu.l Horuuem
LAI UK. .rlva HM ALL. l.lifn. II. k i. iu.1 II.' trid.ci.
lecli.ll, , .mcontlall, In lll. hi n lu lwn u tliv Ut i ililliltli.u,
K "A" ."t;;":1.'"' i, im r m"i ie..
C. G, BLATCHLEY, Manufr, 506 Commerce St.,Phili,
March 31 cm. "
T H E
EYE & EAR.
DR. G. O. McDERMOTT
makes tho treatment of
Diseaseo of tho Ear & Eyo
A SPECIALTY',
nnd has opened nt Wllllomfport, l'n.. an Institution
tor the treatment and cuio of patients buffering
irom biich diseases.
oiileu Hours. Until s a. m., 1 to 3, ando to 8 p. in,
Cull on or uddrcbs
i. V. AIVltnilMOTT, m. IK.,
73 JMwin St., Wl'.llamspoit, I'a.
April 2s-cm.
VALUABLE PROPERTY
at
IMtlVATi: HAI.K.
Tho subscriber orfers for bale, two small lots, on
each which nro erected a frame dwelling house,
stable, mid iiecessary outbuildings. Also four vacant
lots, adjoining tlio nuotu und of larger ulie. 'lliuso
lots nro on the Alula load near (Stillwater, Fishing
Creek township.
For lertiis u- ply to Win. IKltLKll,
.May 6, ,70. tm. btlllwater, Pa,
"nOAUDlNU. "
OTlui kubscrlbi-r Is now prepared torecelio licwrders
nt his house lu Hourliigeieek township, bttuutctlut
what Is known as l'Ho points. Tho house Iscuii.
ducUdon Tcmiierancu piliulples, no Intoxicating
Illinois being bold on thu piimlses. (lood rooms,
em lien t tublo und thu luiulortu of a prlvnio house.
Terms reimonablo, J. D. Kl.lMiKlt.
ilay , 70.-tr. ItoorUif uvvk, J'ii,
y" wuuu
BLOOMSBTJRG, PA., FRIDAY, MAY 26.1876.
CENTENNIAL NEVSPAPER EXHIBITION BUILDING.
At tlio Centcnnifil Brotiiiils in Philadelphia, a building has been constructed to be mod
solely for an exhibition of newspaper'. It occupies n conspicuous position near the tnin
Intuio hike, on u lino between the United States GoTcrninent Itiillding and Machinery
Hnll.
The building is of timber, and very neat. It has length of 07 feet, witlt a width of
10 feet, and a total height of "3 feel. Erom tlio exterior it nppcars to bo in two storie",
but the centre of the building is only ono story, and is a very fine chamber witlt amplo
light and space.
The enterprise- is under tlio control of Geo. 1". Howell, of Xew York. Tlio Columbian
is nit lilo in tho building.
Poetical.
ISIHIKET.
IIo offered a klM in the morning
Hut I coldly turned nway ;
For an Idlo word that I overheard
Had wrangled a night nnd a day,
I know In tiuthlt was nothing
mint ho would hu o blushed to own.
That point and sting of tho trilling thing
Orow out of my hemt alono.
Dut a vexed, unquiet spirit
Weighs no matter aright,
And the sore smart of a Jealous heart
Puts reason out of sight.
I let him go in tho morning
Without tho kiss ho sought ;
And tho day was long, but I nursed my wrong
With many a bitter thought.
Ono bitter thought, nod help mo I
Did not enter my brain,
That kls3 of mine, by word or sign,
He would ncior seek again.
Dut ns evening shadows gathered,
My heai t began to bum
Witli a (tulckcntd sense of his Influence,
And I longed for his return.
Leaning against tho window
That overlooked tho street,
I strained my ear his step to hear
In the crow d of hurrying feet,
r.u- off In Iho dimmest distance,
1 sliould have known It well ;
Dut thcie camo Instead a munied tread
And n sharp alarm of the hell.
Some griefs, though deep nnd bitter,
Find nt last their cures,
Dut somo retain the old, old pain
As long as life endures.
I did not know lu tho morning
When I coldly turned nway,
That 1 should miss and mourn that kiss
Down to my dj lng day I
MAllY E. HltADLEV.
TIIK SONO OF 1S70.
Waken, voice of tho Land's Deletion I
Spirit of Freedom, awaken all I
itlng, o shores to tho song of ocean,
ltliers answer and mountains call I
Tho (lolden day has como ;
Let every tonguo bo dumb,
That sounded Its mallco or murmured its fears ;
she hath won her story ;
She weals her glory ,
Wo ciown her tho Land of a Hundred Y'cais I
Out of darkness and toll and danger,
Into tlio light of Victor's day,
Help to tho wenk and homo to tho stranger,
Fiecilom lo nil, sho hath held her way.
Now Europo's orphan's rest
Upon her mother breast ;
The voices cf Nations are heard In tlio cheers
'I hat shall cast upon her
New love nnd honor,
And cum ii her Die (Jueeu of a hundred years I
North and South we nro met ns brothers I
East and West w u are wedded as ono ;
Might of each shall secure our mother's j
Child of each Is her faithful ton I
Wo glvo theo heart and hand,
Our glorious nnllvo Land,
Forhattle has tiled thee and tlmo endears.
Wo w ill w rite thy story,
And keep thy glory
As pure as of old for a Tnousand Years I
DtVAllU TAY10R.
Miscellaneous.
AN Al'FAIK OF IIOXOK.
For fivc-and-fotty years I have borno tho
name of l'eter Smith. Though you havo
never heard of me, I (Litter myself that my
family namo will bo familiar to you. lam
epiiet in my habits, and, I believe, not dis
posed to intcrfero with tho rights of other
inon ; yet even thU did not avail to savo mo
somo ten years sinco Irom becoming involved
in an affair of honor. Let mo tell you how
it happened.
At tho timo of which I speak I was an in
mate of Mrs. Jones' family, I uso tho word
inmato advisedly, sinco it was well known
that Mrs. Jones nover took boarder?. In
fact, sho expressly gavo mo to understand
that her only inducement in taking mo was
tho pleasure sho expected to derive from my
society j that sho was far above mercenary
considerations. Of courso T felt Ilattcred by
tho compliment thus insinuated though I
confessed I was somewhat surprised, sinco
all mercenary considerations wcro disclaimed
to bo charged a higher rate for board than I
over paid. Still I did not demur, feeling
certain that I had nt length found a
homo.
Let mo describo Mrs. Jones, my hostess.
Physically speaking, I should say that sho
camo of a great family, her proportions be
ing most aristocratic, In her demeanor to
ward mo sho was always 'very gracious and
condescending, for which I felt properly
grateful. Sho always camo to tho table
arrayed in stiff satin, tho very rustlo of
which betrayed her con-cipicnce, and im
pressed mo witlt my comparative itislgnill
canco. Mrs. Jones had n daughter, by tho namo
Sophronia. In external appcaranco sho was
qulto unllko her parent, being exceedingly
tall and slender j while; tho other Is exceed
ingly short nnd dumpy. In a copy of verses
which bho was kind enough to show mo,
soma enthusiastic young man had tho tem
erity to call her u sylph. I do not know
much about sylphs, never having seen ono
to my knowledgo; but I question much
whether oylphs havo red hair, or noses with
nu upward tendency. 1 havo my doubts al
so tu to whether sylphs squint. Still I nm
fur from denying that Miss Sophronia Jones
was a sylph, sinco that belief evidently af
fouled her satisfaction.
Mrs. Jones' table was admirably adapted
for a vuletudiiiariau. Thero ho would find
no dishes of unwholesoino richness noth
ing, indeed, that was calculated to induce
I'sceasivo catlug. Jf s somo physicians
have derlared.hcalth is best preserved by al
ways rising from the table witli an appetite,
I was never in f.iircr way to secure its
blessings than when enjoying the genteel in
Htillicicnsy of Mrs. Jones' hospitality.
About a mouth after my arrival, conver
sation turned, at tlio dinner table, upon a
concert which was to bo given the same
evening by Signora Fulfill ini. I have a poor
memory fur Italian names, but this is tho
name, to the bet of my recollection.
"I wish I could go, ma," said tho fair
Sophronia.
"So you could, my dear," replied Mrs.
Jones, "if you had a gentleman protec
tor." Thereupon she began to disclaim against
tho customs of society which precludo a
lady's attending a place of amusement with
out a gentleman, lamenting that Sophronia
had on this account been more than once de
barred from gratifying her exquisite tasto in
music.
Of courso I could not in politeness refrain
from offering my escort, although I sliould
thereby bo prevented from attending the
weekly meeting of tho club of which I was
a member.
Sophronia was in great confusion, and sho
could not think of troubling me.
I began to hope that she would not, but
tho mother quickly silenced scruples by say
that she was a silly girl, (thirty-five if she's
a day,) and that she must not think of re
fusing. Sophronia mado no further objcctions,and
I had the pleasure of paying a high price
for a cotiplo of tickets.
Xnturo not having bestowed on me a
musical ear, I could enter but indifferently
into the rapturo of my companion, who pro
nounced Signora Falfalini's singing divine,
although slio considered Iter quite devoid of
personal attractions, Tlio Signora being
built after tlio same model as Sopluonia, I
qitito agreed witlt her in this bit of criti
cism. "Do you knnvvV'simpcrcd my companion,
confidingly, "I havo myself thought at times
that I was designed by nature for u prima
donna, or an opera singer, like Signora Fal
falini'i" "Then why do you not beeomo one?" I
enquired.
"ilecauso ma bad such an objection lo
anything nf a public character. She felt
that I should be demeaned by so doing, and
advised mo to content myself with con
tributing to tlio gratification of my friends
at home. You havo never heard me sing, I
think."
I had, at times, heard a shrill voice, in
a very high key,, as I sat in my room, which
had struck mo as far from agreeable. I
thought it best, however, without mention
ing this, to utter a simple negative.
"You must not expect much," continued
Sophronia; "my voico is rough and unculti
vated. Ma is always telling me that 1 ought
to devote moro jittention to it; but I can
never sing except when inspiration seizes me.
If you will como in to-morrow evening I will
sing to you, if you would like."
I expressed my thanks fur tiiis disinterested
kindness, and, as the concert was finished,
proceeded to escort tho lady home.
As wo wcro making our way through the
crowd it chanced that somo one.aecidentaliy
or otherwise, jostled my companion.
She immediately seized my arm con
vulsively and informed mo that she had been
insulted.
"Who did it?" stammered I, for I con
fess my courago is not of tho highest
order.
In reply Sophronia pointed out a small
man with n fierco moustache, who was stand
ing at a llttlo distance.
Mentally deciding that it might not bo
prudent to havo nu altercation witlt such n
person, I hastened to nsiitro my companion
that it might liavo been an accident,
"Xu," said she, very decidedly. "It was
not an accident. It was intentional. I wisli
you to demand an apology in my name."
"Don't you think it would bo better," said
I,in great embarrassment, "lo treat him with
silent contempt?"
Sophronia was by no mean? of this opin
ion. Accordingly I approached tho gentle
man, who appeared still nioro fnriuidablo on
a nearer view, and asked, in what wasju
tended to bo a resolute lone, "What ho
meant by insulting tho lady under my
chargo?"
"Slr-r-rl" ho ejaculated, wheeling sharply
around.
1 repeated my request in n fainter tone,
and suggested that I trusted il was acciden
tal ou his part.
Stiokinghis moustache very fiercely, ho
informed mo that ho had no explanation to
mako ; that if I wished to hear from him at
any tlmo, I should havo nn opportunity, nnd
forthwith presented his card, Without stop
ping to look at it, I slunk away in tho crowd
and Boon reached home.
My companion intimated that sho sup
posed I should seek satisfaction iu the usual
way.
I said Homcthing indistinctly I am not
Buro exactly what and very thankfully
took lcavo of tho fair Sophronia in the
entry.
Iteaclilng my chamber, I examined tho
card which had been placed in my hand,
and found Inscribed llicrcon tho namo of
Captain Achilles llrown, Astnr House. Yery
probably ho was distinguished bythesanio
qualities which characterized his great name
sake, nnd It niailomoHhivrr even to think of
a cnnlllct with him, ltcsolvlng that I would
at least take every possible means to avoid
it, I went to bed and sank into n slumber
disturbed by frightful dreams, in which I
f.mcicd myself shot through tho heart by
tho tertible Achilles llrown.
Early next morning, while lu tho momen
tary expectation of hearing the breakfast
bell, I was startled by n knock nt the door
Immediately afterward entered a tnlt man,
"bearded liken pard." Ho Introduced him
self to mo ns a cousin of Sophronia, and in
timated that, having heard nf my dilliculty
of the previous cvcnlnpjic had como to offer
bis services as my second.
Thanking him for his kindness;,! said that
I had not, as yet, decided to call out the
gentleman in question.
"X'ot yet decided 1" repeated my visitor,
springing to his feet, causing mo thereby to
recede two paces, in somo personal appro
henion. "Xot yet decided I Hut perhaps I
do not understand you."
I intimated, rather uncomfortably, that I
bad conscientious scruples against the prac
tice of tlio duello.
"Conscientious fiddlesticks!" interrupted
my visitor. "Sir, you must fiht. There is
no alternative. A lady has been insulted
whilo under your protection. That lady is
my cousin. Unlcs you take notice of if, I
must.
"lint you havo no quarrel with Capt.
llrown," I said.
"You misunderstand mo, said he. gravely.
"Unless you challenge Capt. Drown, I shall
understand it ns a personal disrespect to my
cousin, and shall challenge you. Chooso
which of ns you will light."
This was said so resolutely that I suc
cumbed at once. I reflected that, whilo ther
was equal danger lo bo incurred in a duel
with my visitor, thero would bo less credit.
"Shall I write tho missive?" inquired my
companion, who called himsolf Lieutenant
Kustace.
"Yes," said I, faintly.
lie sat down at my desk, and in a few
minutes produced tlio following :
"Sir : You grossly insulted a young lady,
while under my protection, last evening.
As n man of honor,! call upon you for ample
apology, or for tlio usual satisfaction accord
ed in such cases. I send thero, by Lieut.
Eustace, who is authorized to act as my
friend.
Yours, etc., Peteu Smith.
"Captain Achilles Brown."
Having signed this, witli some misgivings,
I inquired as to tho character of Captain
lirown.
"I don't know much about him," said my
friend, "but I suppose ho is a regular fire
eater."
This was satisfactory very.
"Suppose," said I, in a tremulous voico,
"you erase tlio word 'ample' before 'apology.'
I consider apology sufficient."
"Hut I shall not," was tho lieutenant's
emphatic reply.
Thero was no more to bo said. IIo de
patted with his missive ; audi was left iu no
very enviable frame of mind. On his re
turn, "Has he apologized ?" I inquired,
eagerly.
"Xot n bit of it," was the reply ; "he
vows that ho will shed the last drop of his
blood first."
"What a sanguinary monster bo must be,"
was my internal reflection.
"Tho meeting is appointed for to-morrow-morning,
an hour befuro sun-rise," resumed
tho lieutenant. "It is to take place at Hobo
ken ; weapons, pistols ; distance, fifteen
paces."
"Isn't that rather near ?" I ventured to
remark.
"Xcar? Of courso you want it near. You
will be more likely to hit your man.
"And ho will bo moro likely to hit me," I
replied.
"Of course," was tho reply. "You must
take your chances of that."
I could not help wondering whether he
would bo so' cool about it if ho were the
principal, and I the second. In fact I have
always observed that seconds are much .moro
scrupulous about the honor of their princi
pals than tliey aredisposed to bo about their
own, I suppose it is human nature. I think
it altogether likely that I should make a very
fierco second.
"I suppose you are used to pistols?" re
marked my friend.
Used to pistols ! I remember onco having
fired ono as a boy, to the imminent danger
of my llttlo sister's life. Since then I had
not had one in my hands.
As I strolled out into tho streets in an un
happy frame of mind, a newsboy thrust into
my hand a daily paper.whieh I mechanically
bought. Glancing over tho columns, I ob
served that a boat was advertised as about
to start that day for Havana. The hour of
departure was A iu tho afternoon. A sudden
thought struck me. Would it not bo much
better to embark for Cuba than to remain
behind to be shot"? a result which tho state
of my nerves and my want of practico with
tlio pistol rendered altogether probable.
Willi new-born alacrity, I immediately re
paired to tho boat, and demanded to sco tlio
agent Ho informed mo that tlio boat would
positively ttart at tho hour indicated.
I asked to sco the list of passengers.
Ktitining my eyes casually down tho list,
my heartbeat quickly as they fell upon tho
last name. Could it bo possiblo that my op.
ponent.Captain Achilles llrown, had secured
passage ? What could bo his motive?
"When did this gentleman book h's namo
as a passenger?" I inquired.
"Xot half an hour since."
"Did ho understand that tho boat started
to-day?"
"Yes; ho made particular enquiries on
that point."
"Will you describo him to mo f Is ho
tall?"
"Yes, quite ao,"
"And has a black motistacho?"
"Yes."
"A dark coiiplexion and wears a largo
cloak?",
"Precisely. You know him, then ?"
"Yery slightly," naid 1, carelessly.
"Hy tho way, I don't think I shall be
ablo to get awoy for week. I won't en
gage to-day,"
"We would give you, good accommoda
tions." "No doubt oi that. On tho whole, you
need not mention to Cuptaiu Drown that
auyono Inquired for liiin,"
tiik couiximAN, vol. X, NO. 2
COLVMMA DIlMOCltAT, VOL. XM, NU. 10
My heart bounded with exultation, as
witli somo difficulty I realized that my op
ponent, whom I had dreaded so much, was.
about to leave the country from fear of en
countering me.
What n Joko that was I I laughed all tho
way homo, though I endeavored to preserve
my gravity. On the way homo I purchased
a brace of pistols, which I ostentatiously
displayed on reaching my boarding-houso.
"To think you should risk your llfo for
me," simpered tho fair Sophronia.
"Miss Sophronia," said I, with suitablo
fierceness, "no ono with Impunity shall in
sult a lady while under my protection."
During a portion of tho afternoon I prac
ticed shooting at a mark, ami was never more
lively that nt the tea table. Licutennnt
Kustace, who was present, seemed consider
ably surprised at tlio change in my demean
or, and was evidently puzzled to account for
it.
After tea I invited tho company to wit
ness my will, which I had drawn up far the
sake of producing an impression. It proved
a master stroke. I noticed that Lieutenant
Kustace treated me witli increasing respect,
while Sophronia repeated several times un
der her breath, but loud enough for mo to
hear, "brave man I"
All this I enjoyed, and took tho opportu
nity to severely discourso upon tho sacred
ness of honor, in defense of which I nsserted
that any man ought to be willing to lay
down his life.
In tlio course of tho afternoon I had the
pleasure of witnessing the sailing of tho Ari
el, with Captain Hrown onboard. Whether
this circumstance had anything to do with
inspiring in me theso elevated sentiments, I
leave tho reader to judge.
Tito next morning, ut an early hour, I pro
ceeded to the field with my second.
Captain Achilles llrown was nowhere to
bo seen.
I professed a great deal of disappointment
and insisted on waiting three hours to allow
him time to appear. All, however, testified
to the remarkable courage which I displayed
under the circumstances, and tendered their
congratulations. Tho affair found its way
into tho papers, and I found myself at onco
elevated into a hero. I could not walk
Broadway without being pointed out as the
celebrated duelist. Among tho ladies, par
ticularly, I becamo an object of great atten
tiona circumstanco that may well excite
surpriso wbeu it is considered that my only
claims to their regard lay in my having been
implicated in an affair which the moral sense
of tho community condemns.
Soon afterward I left my boarding place,
to the great regret of the fair Sophronia. I
aftcward learned that, had I shewn the
white feather, it was arranged that Lieuten
ant Kustace should force me into a marriage
witli his cousin, on pain of a duel with him
self. Tho extraordinary show of courage
which I exhibited imposed upon him to such
an extent that Uo did not think it advisable
to ofier the alternative lest I should accept
the duel.
I have heard nothing of Captain Achilles
Hrown sinco tho memorable day on which
ho did me the servico to sail for Cuba. Had
he possessed a little more courage I shudder
to think what might have been the result.
Tin: Two Wi:i!yn:i'.s. When Mr. Web
ster visited Knglaud, after be had attained
fame enough to precede him, an English
gentleman took him one day to seo Lord
Hrougham. Tho eminent Hriton received
our Daniel with sucli coolness that ho was
glad to get away and back to his rooms. The
friend who had taken him at once returned
to Lord Hrougham in haste and anger.
"My lord, how could you behavo witli
such unseemly rudeness and discourtesy to
so great a lawyer and statesman? It was
insulting to him and has filled me with
mortification."
"Why, what on earth havo I done, and
whom havo I been rude to?"
"To Daniel Webster, of the Senato of the
United States."
"Great Jupiter, what a blunder I I thought
it was that fellow "Webster who made a dic
tionary and nearly ruined tho English lan
guage." Then the Great Chancellor quickly hunt
ed up tho American Senator, and having
other tastes in common besides law and pol
itics, they made a royal night of it. iVi
ior's Drawer in Ihirper's Muymine for June,
Altitude Fascination. Jumping from
points of elevation is a fashion of suicide.
To stand on an elevated sito exercises a sin
gular fascination over some people, leading
them to jump into tho air. It causes others
to perspire nnd tremble with fear. Last
summer I talked with the guardian of the
steeple of the Cathedral at Strasburg on this
subject, and he informed me that few visi
tors were frco from tho feeling of fright on
reaching the first terrace, which is of great
altitude, and that it was so pronounced as
to generally prevent them from going any
higher. Sometimes tho women fainted. I
confess I was not frco from a vague dread in
looking out over tho immenso reach of land
capo which this view takes in, although
thero was absolutely no danger, the terrace
being securely guarded by strong iron rails.
This man of the upper air tho guardian or
guide informed me that tho summer before
an Englishman had fainted, but deter
mined to overcome his fright, nnd con
tinued to ascend every day for a week, until
ho could look out in the direction of tho
Black Forest, from tho lantern, with equan
imity. During tho summer a man had
jumped into the air through nltitudo fascina
tion. Uo was probably dead before reach
ing tho ground, on account of tho Immenso
height front which ho hurled himself.
Formerly tho Ycndomo Column was the
scene of so many deaths of this kind that
a decreo was issued to provcut visitors from
ascending it unless accompanied by a guar
dian. It was tho Tarpeian Hock of Paris
Such a number havo killed themselves from
tho fascination of altitude, or tho frieht Dto-
dticed thereby, that elevated places must be
recognized as dangerous for certain Deonle
Thoso whose self-killing is premeditated of
courso aro not comprised therein, Qalaxy,
Ono nf thn mr.gt Ituvpnlmia nt,1t.nitA....
of
tho auger, is that of felling trees, especially
iw i.iii.ei un uiu iiiuutiuuui growing pe
ctiltar to California. It is stated that tin
the
-uig tree ns it was called, which grew
In
vuiavvriu i-uiiuiy, ciuuaiiieii mill a millio
feet of inch lumber, and was felled by flv
....... ...n.i.i..n .lu .i . .
ion
o
lieu oi.lil.K..j luiya HIUKlIlg I Vii Hay
lnlinr nf IIiim L-lnil mtmi mm l ..... 'im...
... .. ..w miu, inc iieu
measured ninety-two feet iu clrcumferenco
treo
iitiuu imoe, uceuiuili lo BllllClllcntS Which
admit of no (iiicstinn in rnxneet in o,, ,.!...
ness. It was. not cut down with axes, but,
as a more practical method, was bored down
wiin lunp pump augers, aim me wooa re
maining between the holes was cut oil' with
cuiseu ou tue end ot long sticks,
one inch, (twelve, lines orjts eqnfvfilf nt, Inl
roll type) ono or two Insertions, l.60 thirl
SrAClt. "
ono Inch tiWI tM
Two Inches. .. ' 'J'"
Thro Inclin . . "
Four melius T.oo .("
oimrter column. . ..10.no U.no
llnir column imm jw
fit... f...ltmtn . . .a'f.Oll Bfl.00
t. r
tl.OI ('
T.IO jti
a nit 1 ii
ll'llO
14. Mi
tti.ml
.TK.IX I
cn.otl
VO.Ot)
40.00
vcariy niivcnmcmuuin r's vv.'!..'-"-.::..!
Blent advert iscmenW must be palil for before III
except where parties have accounts. I
Iz-Kul advertisement!) two clollarjiierlnclifol
Insertions, ami nt that rate tor additional lnl
1.'" reference. o Ion? li. . .,.,
ji;ecinurn, niiHimwuiiiui .
tlTOns0llc1St8or Local notice, twenty tcnti
regular lulvcrtlscments half rates. ,,,,
oM. m tho ''lluslness Directory" colura
.,i r"S mr cae.. line.
""'larrcrj- u
Humorous.
A lawver may bo said to work like a
when ho draws a conveyance.
ti.i r,n,-r1trr "Yesterday tho
iiua.vii . . ... -
ol fun tinner collar? ill
momeier niuwv i-i---
shadc.
rrt. ,.! atvin nf liBnd-oreans has j
ono stop. It begins in tho morning j
stops at night.
ni,n,tn Tland sends to tho Centonnl
policeman who measures fix feet three Inn
That comes from living in a Bmau
Xot having room lo uprcail, be ran up.
Wliv do thev term It "an assignment
tho benefit of the creditors? Tlio assl
ment is plain enough, but where docs
"benefit" come in 7 IHlroa i reexras.
A member of tho Georgia Legislature,
cd tho meaning of the word geology. Tl
told him it was n species oi vaecinnti
"Well," said he, "I don't tako much Intel
in figgcrs."
Old nartvfwho stammers, comes inl
snmn inecacuanha : "Oh, if you p-plel
young m-man, I w-want somo ip-ip-ip-ipj
Fcstivo assistant (fired by recent rcmiu
cences) : "Hurrah 1"
A cao of French goods for thoCentenrl
Exhibition, which it was necessary lo kl
dry, was inscribed, "Pleaso beware for itl
tho humidity."
NnlbiiiL' sliould bo done by halves, sayil
w. v.l. ...nn. SUmitMn't. Mi ? Kitiind
they wcro twin sisters would you nrarj
both or only one Detroit 1-rce lvpts.
"John, what is tho past of seo ?"
"Seen, sir."
''So: it is saw: recollect that."
"Yes. sir. Then if a sea Dsn swims ny nj
it becomes a oaw fish when it is past ail
can't be seen."
"You may go home, John."
'No man," said a wealthy but wcak-minil
cd barrister, "sliould be admitted to the bd
who has not an independent landed proper
ty." "May I ask, sir," said Mr. CurraiJ
"how many acres make a wiseacre?
A Wisconsin editor illustrates tho provaill
ing extravagance of the people of the presenl
day by calling attention to tho costly balrl
carriages in use now, while when ho -was :
baby they hauled him around by the hair ol
the head.
A Virginia editor, whoso paper has jufll
suspended, says that ho entered tho field ol
journalism under the impression that there!
were "millions in it." "And so there nre.'l
he continued, "but they remain in it yet."
"What's usee play poker' remarked an al-i
moud-eyed denizen of Tuscan, Nevada, thai
other day. "Mo hold four klings and a lace,
and Melican man hold all same timo four '
laces and a kling ; whole week washee gona
likee woodbine."
i lamp ctnmney costs uus seven or eigne i
cents, and if you boil it for four weeks in fif- J
ty cents worth ot norax water, you can maeu
it last from six months to sixteen years. Ev
erybody should practico economy. Detroit
n ee rress.
gentleman in tliis city has a pair of pan
taloons which were worn by ono of his an
cestors a hundred years ago. They are madci
of home-spun cloth, except tho scat, which
is of tliick leather. It is inferred from thi
that tho original owner was a book agent.
Xoricich lluUctln.
They are not naturally a suspicious people!
on Block Island, but when a lecturer sn
there and tells them that he asks no reward
iu the paltry things of this world, but mere
ly for tho approval of his conscience and fel
low man, they usually go out and lock up
their chickens. They say they've been fool
ed that way too often.
Says tlio Toledo Dlade : "Mother," said a
littlo boy on Allen street, yesterday, "can't I
stay out of school to-day and go a sliding
this is tho last snow wo'ro goin' to have this
winter?"
"No, you can't," said the mother, snap
pishly. "Go along now."
"Well, if you don't let me do it, I'll go
and play with them Johnson boys and
catch tho itch, and disgrace tho wholfi fami
ly." The family honor had to be maintained,
and he got his wish.
A witty old Americau judge, who spent
an evening iu tho country with a young
lawyer whoso ofllce was on tho sec
ond story, on takini; his dcnarturoi
stumbled on tho stairs and fell to tho bot
tom. The young lawyer, hearing tho noise,
rushed out, and, seeing tho judgo lying on
his back at tho bottom of tho stairs.hastcned
down, and with great anxiety asked :
"Is your honor hurt?"
"No," said tho judgo, scrambling to his
feet, "but my legs are.
Old Mr. Perkins has crown sick nnd wea-
rlod with henrine his trraudchlldren inces
santly talking about tho coming glories oC
tho Philadelphia show ; but he succeeded lu
silencing them for a tlmo tho other day by
remarking (itierulimslv. "Ave. ave.-vomnv
say what ye pleaso about yer Sintlnyals, but
yo can t mate tiiein wiuit they used to bo In
my young days," and ho turned oft" the gaa
nnd shuffled away to bed in tho dark.
They would nr. caught. Somo yearn
ngo a bill was introduced in tho Indiana
Legislature to tax all attorneys and jackasscti
S-100 each. Mr. Norrls, a citizen of Somerset
counly, Sid., having gotten hold of it, nml
greatly elated at tho joko upon lawyers,
called on Hon. John W. Crisfleld, a promi
nent lawyer of tho town which bears bin
name.
Good morning, Mr. Crlsfield."
"Good morning, Mr. Norrls," rejoined tho
former,
"Havo you heard the news from Indiana?"
pursued Mr. Norria.
"What is that?" replied the other.
"Why, they aro men of senso in Indiana ;
they aro getting up a law there to tax all thu
lawyers and Jackasses in that State f-100
uplece,"replied the latter, rubbing his hands
with pleasure at the thought.
Tho veteran lawyer reflected a moment on
the information, und then gravely rejoined;
"Well, friend Norris, it is lucky for you
fltlll lllrt ihnl WA flillll llv.l Itl Iflilliinn . ..
I " ' "V" ....... ,,y
' teoulJ caich both o vt.