THE COLUMBIAN
flitminu tuotocnxT, staii or tub north and colum-
mN consoudatku.)
Isiiind weekly, ovory FrMny mowing, nt
UIJUOMSIIOIKl.COLOMIllA COUNTY, l'A.
At two poi.i.uis per .tear, pavabln In advance, or
during thi year. Mlct tlio explrnilonot tlio yc.ir,
iii will iii charged. Td subscribers out ot Ilia
clvinty tliotcrmsnro Jlpor jcnr strictly lit advance
ii Mir not paid In ndvanco and 3.uo It payment
liu delayed iwyonil tlio year
Mo i ii hut discontinued, except it tlio option of llto
Publisher, tin! ll all arrearages aro paid, but long
continual croillU after tlio expiration of tlio llrst
y JffnincMSPnfwiVcit tlio H' a 0, or In distant post
orilo os. must bo pal J for In advance, unless a rcspon.
Biiiio wrwnln Columbia county assumes to pat tlio
subscription duo on demand.
I'iisVaiii; Is no longer oxacteil from subscribers lu
tlio county.
, J033 PBIKTTI3STG.
Th"' .lobbing ttepartni'-nt of tlio Columbian Is very
r-rn ilo1 . and our .lob Printing will compare favor
ntilvwl litliatot tliolargu titles. Allv.ork ilonoon
demand, iioailv and ni moilcralo prices.
Columbia County Official Diroctory.
PrcIilcnt.Iudgo-WIUIam l'.ltvcll.
Assoc 1 ilc 1 .Hidges-lram Dorr, Isiac S. Monroo.
lvotbiiiiotarv, sc. K. 1 rank .arr.
teg h or Ueoordor-Wllllainsnn II. Jacoby.
District Attorney lolm M. Clark,
siLTin-MI-'iiaeKlnivcr.
Survotor ls.uo Dowltt.
i. .iii. t..ini Hn iter.
(Mmmlsslouors-Wllllam Lawton, John Horner,
'' cmimiWsloners' Clerk -Wllll.im Krleklm'im.
A?i lltors-r .l.lMnipus'l'.s. v.. smith, D.uldYost.
(Mruiier-1'liaricsu..tuirpiioi. ,viinir
.lury Uommldoncrslaeoli II. I'W, William II.
tJ!-f:.. o,rtnim,iniUlVl llamll.Snvdcr.
iii 1 11 Poor liliMct-nirccton-p. P. Hut, Hentt,
Win Kramer. IlLiomslntrg and 'i bonus eroding,
SCO t, O. P. i:nt, Secretary.
Bloomsburg Official Directory.
lllnomsburg Ilanklnc Company Tolin A. Funslon,
i.i. ... II It lltviiv. (?lltlllr.
Kir"' Niiilonai Haiik-Cliarlcslt. ration, ' resident
'olmnbu'S
Assncl,Uton-H. II. Utile, President, C. .. Miller,
Stmmi?burK llulldlnc and SaMnir lfund Association
ii.lvacnl'rc8ldentrI.li.ltobls.iii,secrelnry.
HlOOmSlMiriJ iMU' Hill f.unt "" -
j urowcr, i'restdeni, C. tl. Iiarkley, Secretary.
CHUUCH DIHKCTOHY.
lltt'TIST ciimtcii.
1!cv. .T. P. Tiisiln, (supply.) ,,,,
Huii l.iy servlecH-tui-; n, m. and ay; p. m.
SuiuUv School ii a. m. . ....
Prayer Meettnz-!:vcry Wednesday evening at o;
Ss'lrce. Tlio public nro lnl'cd lo attend.
ST. SIATTIIKW'H I.BTIlEKAN CIICKCII.
Minis or-l!ev,.T. It. Williams.
Sunday ServIccs-lo a. m. and OK p. in.
mind.iv school n, m. , , ,
Prat er .MeoilWf-i:ery Wednesday evening at G,y
beau free. No pows rented. All nro welcome.
niESllVTEKIANCIIl'llCH.
Jllnlsier Iicv. Stuart MHiliell.
Sunday SerMees lotf a. 111. nndCX p. m.
U.....I ... Uol.i.la n. til.
i'r.iver.Meeiliig-Utery Wednesday evening at6
selvs'tree. No pewa rented. Strangers welcome.
MKT1I0DI3T Kl'ISCOMI. CIICKCII.
Presiding i;ider-l!ev. N. S. llucklnuhain.
Mlnlster-ltev. .1. II. .Mcdarrali.
Sunday Sen Ices W and c n r. m.
U I 1.1 Sinlilylt J n. m.
Iilblo'ciass-Kverv -Monday evening at i4 o'clock.
Young .Men's I'raer .Meuilng-Kvery Tuesday
.pnnlnir nl fiV n'rlnft.
(leiieral Prayer .Mectlng-Every Thursday evening
ni 7 0 ciock.
IICFORMKD CIICKCII.
Corner of Third and Iron streets.
Pastor-l!ev. T. P. IloHmelcr.
Itelilcnco Kast street, near l orks Hotel.
Sunday SerMces-loi a. in. and an p. m.
Sunday School 3 a. in.
Prater .Meeting-Saturday, T p. m.
All nfn Intltfil 'I'lllTH IS UlttUVS TOOm.
services ecry Sunday arternoon at 2 o'clock at
Heller scnurcn, .tiauibou uittiiMini.
ST. rACL'ticucncit.
Hector l!cv. John Hewitt.
Sunday Services uiij a. in., o p. m.
Sunday school a a. m.
l'lrat Sunday lu the month, Holy Communion.
Services preparatory to Comiiiuiilon on Friday
evening before tho si Sunday In each month.
Itui'u rpnlprl i but (:t ITt lioilv welcome.
Persons desli lng to cuusult the Hector on religions
milters win nnu nun 111. mu par&unus-u uu uuth
street.
UUlOMSBUKCi DIHKCTOUY.
St'IIOOIi OHDKHS, lilank, ju printed and
neatly bound In small books, n hand and
lur sale at tho Columbian Olllcc. "eb. Ill, lmo-tl
ULANK Di:i:i).S, on l'arclini.-nt and I.inen
11 l'.iner. common and for Adinlnlsi rntors, Hxecu-
lucs anil trustees, tor salo cheap at tho Columbian
umce.
UTAKUIAOI-: CKUTII'ICATKS iu.t printed
111 and for sale at tho Columbian onice. Minis
ter uf the Uospel nnd Justices should supply them
selves tviin tuese neccasary urtieies.
JUSTICES mid Constables' I'ce-Ilills for wile
at the Colombian onice. They contain the cor
rected fees as established by the last Act of tho U-g-
ulotiih.mirm tin. Llililinit l,"rn,U .1 lll PI 11111 1 f !flll.
stable should liavo ono.
"triCNDUK
cheap al
NOTKS iut printed and for fale
at mo coi.csiuiAN oince.
CI.0T111N(I,4.C.
TAVII) LOWUNIIHUO, .Merdiaiit Tailor
lj Main St., above central noici.
' BOOTS ANirSHOUS.
m
LTui, 111
KN11Y KLKIM, Maiiafactiirer and dealer
In boots nnd shoes, .groceries, etc.,
liloomsbiiig.
1 7 M. KNOOIt, Dealer in Itools and Shoes,
JlJ , latest and best slyles, eornerJIaln andMarket
btretts, in mo oiu jiosi oince.
CLOCKS. WATCHES, AC.
c.
l'SAVACI
Dealer in Clocks, atehes
nnd Jewelry, Matn St., Just below the Central
OUIS
J maker,
ItERNARl). Watch and Clock
near southeast comer Main andiron.
MII.1.INEI1Y FANCY 00011S.
ISH M. DEUltlCKSON. Millinery and
'ancy tloods, .Main St., ueiotv .narhei.
rilHK MISSES JIAUMAN. .Millinery am
j
J 1'
Faucy(loods,Malnstieet,belotvCentral"llotel.
MEHCIIANTS ANDOHOCHHS.
TT C. 1IOWEK, Hats and Cups, Roots and
Shoes, Main street, above Court Douse.
SI I. MILLEK .6 SON, dealers in
, Cloods, groceries, aucenstvarc, Hour,
shojs, notions, etc., Main street.
Dr;
PHOFESS10.VAL CAHDS.
1 0. IIARKLEY. Attomey-at-Law. Rooms
J , 4 and 5, l.rovf cr's building, id lioor.
1
It. VM. M. RKHEILSurocon and Plivsi-
U clan,
bu eels.
onico s. i-. coiner hock mm .naiitti.
JK. EVANS, M. D., Surgeon and Pli.vfi
. clan, north sldo ot Main street, ;ubovo J, K.
T 11. McKELVY. M. D.. Surgeon nnd Phy-
O , slclan.north sldo Main street, below Market.
T 1!'
tl . in
R011ISON, Attoriiey-at-Law.
Hartiaan's building, Muln street.
Office
QAM PEL .1ACOHY,
Marble and Ilrotvn
stone wi
orks, East llloomsburg, Hi rw lck road.
TT RO.SNESTOC1C,
Photographer,
lark H Wolf's store, Main street.
D
It. II. 0. IIOWEK, Surgeon Dentist, Main
St., above mo court uuuse.
j.'MteK
Ceiuiu blleets.
MISCELLANEOUS.
T S. KL'HN, dealer in Ment
Tallow, itc.,
X. ce,
Centro street, between Second and '1 niru.
C M. CHItlSTMAN, Saddle, Trunk and
J , Harness maker, Suite's Block, Slam stieet,
rpiIOM AS VVEIiB, Confectionery and 11 ikory,
wholesale auu retail, lixcuuugu uiuuiv.
( V. CORELL, l'uriiituro Rooms, three-
VJI story uriCK, .Minn street, w eat ui jiuiki p..
DW, ROIIItlNS, Liquor dealer, second door
. from tho 1101 thwest corner Main and Iron
J. THORNTON, Wall Paper, 'Window
, suaues aim uxtuies, itujiei 1 uiuwn, .Htwu
ORANUEV1LLI': DIKEOl'OHV.
"a 11. HKKuiNG, caTpiiudliuiideri
iV.i Malu street below Pine,
D
burgeon, Main street, next door lo Hoods Ilo-
TvAVlD HEKU1NG, l'lour and Orit Mill,
XJ and dealer In grain, .Mill street.
TAMES 11. MAILMAN, Cabinet .Maker and
O Undertaker, .Main slreet, below l'Hie.
LIGHT STHKET.
V. OMAN A Co., Wheelwrights, lir-t
uoor nbovo scnooi House.
1) S, ENT, dealer in Stoves nnd Tinwaro In
X V . all lis brunches.
liKl'ER ENT, Miller, and
X of liraln, Flour, Feed, &c.
ileahr in all kind
All kinds of outlu
purchased,
l'PY.
V. EUUAlt, Siwiuehaiina lMiiutng Mill
IJUSINESS CAHDS,
VlhlTlNOt AHUS,
L141T1SK HliAIIS,
HILL HEADS.
lMUllillAMMES.
ri'cij.iii, ai.i.,av.
WBATLY ANO OllEAPLY PIll.NTED, AT TUB CO-
HKNKY L. nilCl'TIONIUCH,
KD1T0H AND PUIILISIIIHI.
CATAWISSA.
ST. JOHN'S IKI'ISCOPAI.) C11UKC1I.
Hector Kev. John Hewitt.
sumlav sen lcos-:i o'clock p. m. every Sunday.
Sunday school lift) p. m.
Jiuiy uoinuiillliuil lliu secuuil nuiuuiy lu tuu uiuuiii.
t u iniuiA.t a. nuuiir.u,'))
onice, on Main street,
y Catatvlssa, fa.
M.IMIM
"W-M-HVKItliY,
1 1
ATTOHNC'-AT-LAW,
Catatvlssa, Pa.
Collections nromntlv mado and remitted. Ofllco
opposite Catatvlssa Deposit Hank. Cm-as
11. AllIlOTr, Altoruey-at-Law, Main
street.
R DAt.r.MAN, Merchant Tailor, Second
street, ltnbhlns' building.
nUCKHOHN.
MQ.fi V. II. SlIOKMAKKU, Dealers in
, Dry Ooods, (Jrocerlcs and Oeneral Merchan
dise.
HUtiINIS GAUDS.
"Jll. A. h. TUIINEU,
J.AtJUA.MIl, 11U11.L., llL.UU.tLOUUlttt, 1 a.
omen over Klelm's Drue Slore. Ofllco hours from
1 to I p. m. for treatment ot diseases ot tho Uye, i;.ir
ami rui oat.
All (oils night or day promptly attended to.
Apr.ssvri-tr
JQU.J.C. KUTTKIt,
riimiui. &ouitu
onice, North Market street,
Mar.S",'"! y llloomsburg, ra.
JQH. I!. R OAHDNKH,
HLOO.MSHUltO, PA.
Ofllco nbovo J. Schuyler Son's Hardware store.
Apr.23'T5-tf
Q W.MILLKU,
Al lUJLtl.l 'A I -L.A tt ,
onico In Ilrowcr's building, second Hoor, room No.
1. llloomsburg, Pa. ulyl,73-y
Q It. A W. J. 1SUCIC AI.KW,
At lUlt.ll.lO.Al-U.tt,
llloomsburg, Pa. 1
Onico on Main Street, first door below Court Houso
.Mur.c,';4 y
J R 't J. M. CI.AIUC,
Bloomsburg, ra.
April 10,'Jl-y
omcc In Ents Hulldlng.
A. CIlEVELINd SMITH. 1IEKVEY KWINO SMITH.
A.
CKliVKMNG SMITH & SON,
ATTOHNEYS-AT-LAW,
Bloomsburg, Pa.
tn.Ml business entrusted to our caro wlllrecieve
prompt atuiitlun. Julyl,'l3 y
C. II. ritOCKtt'AY. OEOKOE E. ELWELL.
JjltOCKWAY KIAVKI.L,
a n o us l; i s-a i u. t ,
Bloomsburg, Pa.
VS7-AU business entrusted to our care will receive
prompt attention. Septal, "4 y
K. n. LITTLE.
IlOB'T. II. LITTLE.
"171 H. & It. R, LITTLE,
ATTOHNEYS-AT-L.W,
Bloomsburg, Pa.
inwlness before the U.S.PatentOnlce attended
to. oineo lu tho Columbian Building. ly 3s
1C. OKVIS,
ATTOHNEY-AT-LAW.
Will practice In all tho courts of Columbia. Sulli
van anil l.teraiiliiL' (ountles. In tho Sunremu court of
of llie'i'nlted states held at Wllllamsport, Pa.
i finis,t itiiui.i, iiuii in ine i nL-uit auu ifiaincL courts i
Will be In his ollleo In tho Columbian ImlliUnL-.
room No. 1, llloomsburg, on Tuesdays, Wcduesdas
and Thiirsd.os of each week; uiidtiiHentouon Mou
dats, rrldajsnud Saturdaj a, unless absent on pro-
lessiuuai ousiuess. &eiil. ls,is,o.
171ii:.S IHIOWN'S INSURANCE AGEN-
I ' C, Hxchaugo Hotel, llloomsburg, Pa.
l';ltllt!ll
.Etna, ins Co., of Hartford. Connecticut.., o.siw.imio
Mtcrnuol. London and lilobo
Ho.tal ot LlteriHiol
Laneanshlro
l'lre Assuel.itlon, I'hlladelphla..
. t(l,oi o,0 0
. lsfoo.oeo
.. 10,11110, oo
, . 8,1(10,001)
.. 1,11)0 IMI
it O.U1HI
AiiuTli'.m of Philadelphia
Atlas of Hartford
Wyoming, ot Wilkes Harro
Farmers .Mutual of Danville
231,0.10
.. l,OitO,0(K
7r,o m
.. 5,coo,o(0
Limine Mtilii.il
Hume, New York
JGl,ll!,l0
March 2C,'74-y
MISCELLANEOUS.
"yyiLLIAM MOKUIS,
illl.Ht;il.. i 1 A1LUK.
Cutting, cleaning nnd repairing prompttynttended
to. l'i.'stllooroter J. F. Widemairsllaidttare store,
llloomsburg, Pa,
Jan. B, 'li tf
JQENTISTRY.
it, w. iititt r.u, in,?, i ji ,
Hesneclfullv oilers Ids professional services to the
ladles and gentlemen of llloomsburg nnd vicinity.
noisprepareu 10 aiienu loan inu various operauons
in mo iiuoui ins pruiessiuu, aim is prutiucti ttiui tuc
latest lmnioted Poiuklain Teeth, which will be In
serted on gold plating, silver and rubber base to
look as well as tho natural teeth. Teeth extracted
by all the now and most approved methods, and all
opciatloiison the teeth carefully uud properly at
tended to.
onico a few dors nbovo tho Court House, same
side, July i, '73
17 J.T1K
I j , would
Ling and Men
J. THORNTON
hi announce to mo citizens or Hloonis-
.inliv thathohaslustieccltedafullnnd
complete assoi uueni oi
WALL PAPEIi, WINDOW SHADES,
(iXICKES, conns, TASSELS,
nml nil niiip r trrioils In Ids lino of business. All tho
ncHestuiid most approved patterns ot tlio day uro
always to be found lulds cslabllshmeut, Main street,
below Market,
uiyl,'I3
iuoiT Tolm
DANVILLE, MONTOUIt COUNTY, l'A.
Ww;
ILL1AM II. LAW, Manufacturer ol
rought Iron Bridges, Boilers, Gasholder,
Fireproof Buildings, wrought iron 1
Ki allies. I'Tnorliu! and Doois. Farm
in,,, nisii wriiut'ht Iron PlnliiL'. stac
of smith Work, Ac, Iiepalrs promptly attended to,
N. B. Drawings and Estimates supplied,
Jlllyl,lST3-tf
13L00MS1JURG TANNERY.
C. A. IIUItRIXG
T) i:SPECTH'LLY announces to the public
-XV
that he has reopened
SNYDKIVOTANNKHY,
(old stand) llloomsburg, l'a nt tho
Furksottho lipy and Light street
road, where ull descriptions ot
r.V'i'iri rt,."a'iL,sV0u2ui"t,,, ?V4?t
(till at all llmos bo paid for
lenuier win vv muue 111 iuu u
.loscrlntlon In tho country. Tho public pat-
piniiiL'.. Is respectfully solicited.
11 llloomsburg. March 12,
, isjo-y
n a 1) m?T.Q I P. A PPIiTO I !
VJZl-lVL UIXU t UAW . .
S. H. MILLER & SON
XT AVE JUST RECElVlvl) anil nro ouering
l-l ,..,,i.. , v..r,.l.itv nrlri'H nun of tho best as-
...... ,tiHi"rsi 1.11T nniTi'tl for salo of
the it ot Illii'omsbuii; They aro all now and lu
tile very laii'st bi h's. f rices vary Horn -a cents to
it j uul. cull una bCO tllt'lll.
PHILADELPHIA ADV'S.
1
tt, nir rmWOfla. Till
NAILWi 'IO IKON. '111 1'ost iron IS ?,,''?
Vt'lir ll. Itir 1AJIH. 1.V1I1UH-IH.-3, ... ..v,. v.."-
to Wliiersham H llro., 1 HWgo Avenue, i-im
itt n mrlTTTIFt Al JBWBIiIlRir.
.. .....Ti ,i,iio..1 Ktimilof MOOHE &HIIO.,
tint Vt.irl.Bt hlryel. HllHuMPhla. 1-1
OErNTRAliaSTOBB.
n
NHKT DO lit TO
HENDERSEOTT'S DRUG STORE
so:
lias Just opened w 1th a Now, 1'rcsh Stock of
tuas, corrniN, suoahs, rpiciw,
ricKi.u!, sAticr.v.i'is". am
siiooi.di:ii, cannki) rnuiTS
vnor.TAiiLUM, o o.,
FOUEIGN AND DOMESTIC
Fruits, Nuts ami Confectionurics.
Our goods have been bou;ht at WXT"''""1,51!
and will bo sold at tho VHltY I.OWKSC I'OS-JIULh
PIIICHS
03R CASH,
or exchanged for prlmo articles ot
COUNTKY PHOUUOl.
IT WILT. PAY YOU TO
CALL, AND KXAMINK ClOODS a.m J
I'MCKS
FOIt YOUHSULVIIS.
Wo keep no book-all purchases CASH at tlio tlmo
ot sale, llj- tUls strict cash system a
Saving of 10 to 20 per cent, is assured to
Our Customers.
A sliaro ot public patronago Is respectfully solic
ited.
N. J. IIEN'DKUSIIOTT.
Bloomsburg, March 19, 18;5-y
NEW MUSIC STOllE.
OPERA H0USK, 3d ROOM,
e:i.o.iisdkg, ia.
33. II. STRICKLAND
Itesnectfully Informs the public that ho lias opened
n New Music More, In tho llloomsburg opera House,
on Centre street, below Main, where ho keeps a full
assorimeni 01
PIAXOES.
OHOANS,
MUSICAL INSTIiFMENTS,
SHEET MfSIC,
Mt'SIO HOOKS, ftc
always on hand and for salo nt tho lowest prices.
lie Invites the patrons ot music to can anuexaminu
his stock.
11KPAIRING AND TUNING,
also attended to on demand. Thopubllo patronago
ls rcpecuuiiy souciieu. unu v .a-ij
BLOOMSBUBO-
State Normal School.
rpiIIS Institution aflbrds to students prcparim?
I fnrtlin iintfesslon nf TEACIIINO. excellent fa
cilities for Improvement In tho most npprovudmeth-
ousoi insirueiion.
vnrtim nerominodatlon of students deslrlmr prep
aration for College, or for the business relations of
life, an Academic Department ls organized, which
nuorus uic most limine lucuuirs lur m, uuiu.
Each course of study Is complete In Itself,
superior advantages aro offered for Instruction In
.ML'Sic ana laiii aui..
Fall Session commences Wednesday, August 20th
1 all Session closes Tuesuay, December u.
SpUng Session commences Wednesday, Dec. 30th,
siirliiL' Session closes Tuesday. .1 line Kith.
spiliig Tkhm commences Wcdnesuay, March 31st
TEfiMS.
Fuel and Washing,
Ho tun. lncludln:
l'oi-ii Doi.
i.aks per weeK.
Tuition one noi.nu per week,
orty to sixty cents per week.
In Model Schoo
KtiKlntita ni-n mlmlltnd nf. nnr lime, nnd to and
course of study tor which teey may bo prepared. It
ls better, It possible, to bo present at tho commence
ment or a term, or n sessiun.
send for a catalogue.
Applications for admission may bo addressed to
Hit, T. L. IHIISVVllI.il,
Principal.
COL. J. G. FHF.HZE.
seci etary.
Aug. 14,'74-ly
KEYSTONE CARRIAGE WORKS!
RLOOMSliUIiG, PENN'A
A S. CR
XX- eheape
exeliaugo for e
CROSSLEY has on hand nnd for sale
er than mo cheapest, lor casn, or win
old Wagons on leasouublo terms,
n AIJI'T A fll'S
nwmn-u..-,
RUGGIES,
AND
WAGONS
ot every description both plain and fancy
Portablo Ton Buggies, olicn Buggies, Plain and
imu fie tin, ldiist. mnnnv.
I also do painting, trimming nnd repair old woilc
nt Ibo shortest nonce, om spnugs weiueu unu tuir-
ranted lo stand or no pay,
i tun 1
xchaugu a irta-
kind of lumber, S'li liitshei
ualrl
ilUIJ ti
LIGHT STREET
BUGGY & CARRIAGE
TT V. OMAN hereby Informs Ihe imbli3
hereby
teSWM
'I''",",": "to 'conducted under thu Una nauio ot
II. F. OJ1AX HHIITIIIJIl.
They will liavo on hand or inanuiacturuiooruer
11UGGIES,
OAUUIAGES,
SPUING WAGONS,
light wagons,
ROAD WAGONS,
and 'very thing In their lino or buslnoss, of tho best.
Iiiauuui ami most umi -my
1", . IOW OSCail IHJUUUIU1.-U.
,aie 0 Vublie jwronoye w mptetully
nouvitru,
II. F. OMAN i: BH0THE1I,
Aug. 11,'Il-ly.
PUBLIC SALE HAND BILLS
Printed nt tins Ollico
ON SHOHTEST NOTIOn AND AT Till'
MOST JUiAfiON AIILE TLUjw,
inu i" fmM
lilo top UUggy lorilliy himim iwwuv,, Biiii.iiiii
lock, pine Vh, linn lilekory and poplar to 1 dellvei
ed at my shop by tho llrsiof February, IsM. Iron
dalo orders taken and McKclvy, Neal x Co h for re
ns cash. A, s. cnossi.r. .
BL00MSBU11G, PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 4. 1875.
GRAND OPENING I
ERAS MENDENHALL
HA VINO reunited llic liiiincs3 of Merchan
dising nt his Old Store, on
Main stukkt, iii.ooMsnuna,
NBArt TIIK KOIIKS llOTEt.,
Desires to call tho attention of his Friends andtlio
Public gencrnlly,o Ids
NEW, FULL AND VAHIIH)
STOCK OF GOODS,
JUST OPENED,
And solicits n sliaro of public patronago
1119 STOC1C CONSISTS OV
DllY OOODS,
aitocniiins,
CiUiniNSWAHE,
WOODllNWAHE,
WILLOWWAHE,
HOOTS & SHOES,
IIAHDWARK,
FLOU11 AND FEED.
In connection with his stock ot Mercnandlso ho
constantly keeps on hand In his yard.
A FULL STOCK OP
Dressed and Undressed Liilier,
AND SHINGLES OF HIS MANUFACTURE.
Bill Lumber made a speciulity.
CALL AND SEE.
OCt.3, 1ST3 tf.
110BE11T ROAN
5
v' , 'i .viu.
CABINETMAKER
UNDEllTAKER,
Iron Street, between Main, and Third Streets
liLOOMSMJUG, PA.
A LL kinds m ruriiiluro mado to order ami
h iimknn rum lorn neat v renalreil. Tlio fiuaiuy
nml nrtpesnf Ills work w 111 eoinnal'O with nn.v tha
can bo produced and ho respectfully solicits a share
oi puuno patronage.
Undertaking-
will lm rftrnriillf nnd Tirnmnllv attended to. Wl
called upon during any hour of tho day or night ho
will at onco respond and lay out the dead. When
lemaioneipin sucu cases isuesircu jiu win tuunau
tho same.
Ready Made Coffins
both of WOOD nnd METALLIC WAHE always on
hand. He Is also the tho solo proprietor In Blooms
burg nud surrounding districts for
Taylor's Patent Corpse Preserver
Hv wblrlt neortiso mav bo surelv and carefully pro
siTteil in Ire fur nnv deslralilo lenL'tli of time. Tho
use of tho Preserver may bo obtained from hlmnt
any time, scarfs, Shrouds, (i'.oves and Mourning
for Doors fiirnlshi'd wnen requi-sted. Also, IIEAIISE
and CONVEYANCES furnished
t.-fHtmembcr he is a lleaular Undertaker
and thorounhli understandi his bnsins. lie
will nut be undersold by an; in Jlloomsburr or
in the county, ItUIJlvHF hvaz
Dec. 11, 'Ti-ly
A ORE AT STRIDE!
tTn nml Over Old MHliotlK found
to lit! limits , or oli.ieelioii
iiblf, discarded!
A NEW AND VASTLY ADVANTAGEOUS
I'LAN IIEU'iltY ADOPTED I!Y
At their "Works in Bloomshurg,
Formeilv llloomsburg Iron and Manutaclurln;
eoinpan)), where will bo kept constantly on hand
largo assortment
WliUc and Ilrd Asli Antliiacllc
;onl,
FOlt DOMESTIC Pl'IlPOSr.S, AND
CUPULO, liLAC'KSMITH AND DITUMIN
OUS COAL,
at prices to suit the trade. All Coal specially pro
p.ued before leaving tno vara. Also
Plows and Threshing Machines,
and all kinds of
Casting and Machine Work.
iir'PttlMVn nrnrnnllv attended to. Thev would
respectfully solicit tho i'.ilron.igo ot tho Public.
1 li. .M..V..I. K. l.OCKAItl).
Jan. s, ,5 ly nioomsuurg, ra.
GLAZING AND PAPERING.
"V7"M. V. 110DINE, Iron Street below sec-
onu, jiiooinsuuig, 1 a., i3iioi'uicu iuhu m
kinds of
PAINTING,
GLAZING,
nnd
PAPEU HANGINGS,
In tho best styles, at lowest rrlccs, nnd nt short
notice.
Parlies having buchwor to do wll save money by
work warranted to glvo satisfaction,
lied
order
WM. V. IIODINK
War. c, n-ly.
T-ELLEU A HAHTLEY,
" Jobbers of
Nctions, Hccicry, Fancy Gcoas, &c,
Correll's Building, Main Street, below Market,
DLOOMSHUHd, l'A.
March so, Uii-sui
yM. Y. KESTEK,
BLOOMSHUltU, l'A.
T.l as removed to Iron street, second door above tlio
I I IteiOllllttl LIIUIII1,IICIUHU ni,iii.v
M, ..1,1 r,t,.ilu mill fit'W eustouit-ts. uud beiv
ibeiu wltli talUneUou. All ttoU wurranWU. lt-y
Poetical.
UK HAITYAS YOU CAN.
TI1I1 life Is not all sunshine,
Nor 13 It yet all showers,
Hut storms and calms alternate,
As thorns among tho Mowers i
And while wo seek tho roses,
Tho thorns full oft wo scan ;
Still let us, though they wound us,
Ho happy as we can.
This life has heavy crosses,
As well as Joy s to share,
And griefs and disappointments,
Which j oil nnd I must bear i
Yet, It misfortune's lav.v
Entombs Dope's dearest plan,
Let us w tlh what Is left us
Ilo happy as wo can.
Tho sum of our enjovment
Is made of llttlo things
As oft. tho broadest rlv cr.s
Arc formed from smaller springs!
By treasuring small watrs
The rivers reach Ihelr spin j
.'.i we Increaso our pleasures,
Enjoying what wo cm.
There may bo burning deserts
Through which our feet may go,
But thero aro given oasis
Whero pleasant palm-trees grow i
As If wo may not follow
Tho path our hearts would plan,
Let us mako all around us
As happv as wo can.
Perchance wo may not climl) with
Ambition to Its goal,
Still let us answer "present"
Wlicro duty calls tho roll s
And whatever our appointment,
Bo nothing less than man j
And cheerful In submission,
Ilo happy as wo can,
WIIEKBJS SUB?
Say, need wo ask j-ln yon bluo sky,
Hcmoved from pala, from care, from woo I
Sho tastes a bliss moro truo than high
Than all Uer dearest Joys below t
Sho walks with spirits puro and bright,
From sin, from bondago sho H free,
And while wo low thoso realms of light,
say, should wo murmur whero ls sho?
In faith on earth sho dwelt,
In calm seclusion's path sho trod,
Deeply her Saviour's lovo sho felt,
Who died that sho might llvo with Ood;
Tho Christian's hopo our sadness cheers,
Tho Christian's rock our stays must be,
Then let us ccaso our selllsli tears,
For ask In sorrow w hero ls sho t
Oh I whero Is. sho ? Each sceno remains,
Whero oft a blushing morn bho roved,
The warbling birds In tuneful strains,
Sill carol from tho wood sho loved ;
Sunbeams ihelr glowing radiance illng
O'er each fair llowcr and wavering tree,
All bloom beneath tho smile of spring,
All breath ot life but wlicro ls sho 1
Tho softening shadc3 of evo descend.
Around tho hearth her kindred meet,
How oft they mouiu tho genllo friend
Who once enjoyed that converse sweet.
Now, at tho hallowed hour of prayer,
They lift tho hand and bend tho knee,
OH I thcrt) was 0110 who loved to sharo
Thoso orlsons-but where ls sho t
Miscellaneous.
Tlio Improved .Esou.
I. TUT. FOX AND THF. OltArl'.S.
iV thirsty fox one day in passing through
a vineyard, noticed that tlio grape were
hanging in cluster from tho vines wlncl
w ero trained from such a height as to bo out
of his reach.
"Ah," said tlio fox, with a supercilous
smile, "I've heard of this before. In tlio
twcllth century an ordinary fox of average
culture would have wasted his strength and
energy in the vain attempt to reach yonder
sour grapes. Thanks to my knowledge of
vincculluro, however, I at once ob-crvcthat
the great height and extent of tho vine, tlio
drain upon the sap through tho increased
number of tendrils and lcaves.must, of neces
sity, impoverish the grupo and render it un
worthy tho coiiMtleratioii of an intelligent
animal. Not any for mc, thank you " With
thc.sc words he coughed slightly and with
drew. Moiui.. This fable teaches that an in
telligent discretion and some botanical
knowledge are of the greatest Importance- to
grapo cultiiic.
II. Till'. FOX AND THF, STOHK.
A fox one day invited a stork to dinner,
but provided for the first course soup. This
being in a shallow dish, ot courso tlte lox
hipped up readily, but tho stork, on account
nl his lontr bill was unable to nam a
mouth fill,
"You do not Foem to bo fund of soup,'1
said the fox, concealing n smilo in his nap
kin. "Now, it is 0110 of my greatest weak
nessos."
You certainly seem to protect yourself
outside of a largo quantity," said tho stork-
rising with some dignity, and cxiiining his
watch with great ciniircssmcnt; "but I Have
an engagement at eight o'clock which I had
inrotten. I must he excused. -In re voir.
iy the way dine with mo to-morrow."
Tho fox as-cnted, arrived at tho appoint
ed time, but found, as ho fully expected,
nothing on tho table but a single long necked
ottU containg olives, which tho ftork was
completely extracting by tho aid of his long
bill.
Whv. you do not seem to cat anything,'
said the stork with great naivete, when ho
had I'mishetl tho bottle.
"No," said tho fox significantly, "I am
waiting for the second cour-e.
"What is that?" asked tho stork blandly?
"Stork sttilll'd with olives," shrieked tho
fox, in a very pronounced manner, anil 1111
mediately dispatched him.
Moiiai.. Truehospitality obliges tho Host
to sacrilico himself for his gucts.
in. Tin: woi.r and thi: lamb.
A wolf one day drinking from a running
stream, observed a Limb also drinking from
tho same stream, at somo distance Irom lilm
"I have yet to learn," said tho wolf, ad
dressing tho lamb with dignified severity,
what right have you to muddy tho stream
from which 1 am drinking."
Your premisci aro correct," replied th
lamb with blanded politeness, "lor it you
will take the troublo to examine tho current
critically, you will observe that it Hows from
you to me, and that any disturbance ol sett
iment bete, would be, so tar as you arc con
ccrued. entirely local."
"Possibly you aro right," returned the
wolf, "but If I am not mistaken, you aro tho
person who, two years ngo, med somo lullil
nco against tno al tlio primaries.'-
"Impossible." replied tho lamb: "tw
years ago I was not born."
"Ah I well," added tno won, composedly
"I am wrong again. Hut it niusteouvinco
very Intelligent person who has listened to
this conversation that I am altogether insane,
and consequently not responsible for my ac
tions." With this remark, ho at onco dispatched
the lamb, and was triumphantly acquitted.
Mohai,. ThU fable teaches us how erro
neous may bo tho popular impression In re
curd to tho distribution of alluvium and thu
T .. .. , ll,.. . It J II.
lorinatlou of river deltas, JJret Jfarte,
llitlcs for Spelling.
Tho following rules should bo carefully
committed to memory, as tho knowledge of
them will prevent that hesitation about tho
spelling of common words which is frequent
ly experienced even by tho well educated :
llttlo 1. All monosyllables ending In 1,
witli a singlo vowel boforo It, liavo tlonblo 1
at tho closo j as mill, sell.
Unto '2. All monosyllables ending in 1,
with a doublo vowel beforo it, havo ono 1
only at tho closo j as wail, sail.
Itulo 3. Monosyllables ending lu 1 when
compounded, retain but 0110 1 each; as ful
fil, skillful.
Itule !. All words of moro than ono syl
lable ending lu 1, havo ono 1 only in the
closo ; as faithful, delightful j except recall,
befall, unwell, &c.
Rule fi. All derivatives from words end-
idg in 1 have ono 1 only j as equality from
equal; fullness from full ; except they end
in cr, or ly ; mill, miller, full, fuller.
Itulo 0. All participles in ing from verbs
ending in e, loso the 0 final ; as have, hav-
ng, anuisc, amusing ; except they como from
verbs ending in double c, and then they re
tain both ; a see, seeing; agree, agreeing.
Rule 7. Adverbs in ly, and nouns in
incut, retain tho 0 final of their primitives;
as brave, bravely ; refinement; except judg
ment, acknowledgment.
Rule 8. All derivatives from words end
ing in cr retain the 0 beforo tlio r; as refer,
reference; except hindrance, from hin
der; rcmbranco from remember; disastrous
from disaster; monstrous from monster;
wondrous from wonder; cumbrous from
cumber, &c.
Itulo 9. All compound words, if both end
not in 1, retain their primitive parts entire;
as millstones, chargeable, graceless; except
always, also, deplorable, although, almost,
admirable, &c.
Rule 10. All monosyllables ending in a
consonant, with a singlo vowel beforo it,
double that consonant in derivatives ; as sin,
sinner; ship, shipping; big, bigger; glad,
gladder, &c.
Rulo 11. Monosyllables ending in aeon
sonant with a doublo vowel before it, do not
doublo the consonant in derivatives ; as sleep,
sleeper, troop, trooper.
Rulo 12. All words of moro than ono
syllable ending in a singlo consonant, pre
ceded by a singlo vowel, and accented on tho
last syllable, double that consonant in deriv'
ntives; ns commit, committee; compel, coin
polled; appal, appalling; distil, distiller.
Rule 1!J. Nouns of ono syllable ending
in y, change y into ics intho plural; and
verbs ending in y preceded by a consonant,
change y into ies in tho third person singu
lar of the present tense, and ies in the past
tenso and past participle ; as fly, flies ; I ap
ply, ho applies; I replied, or havo replied,
or lie replied. If tho y bo preceded by a
vowel this rulc'is not applicable; as key,
keys ; I play, bo plays ; wo have enjoyed
ourselves.
Rule I I. Compound words whoso primi
tives end ii 1 i'chango y intoi: as beauty,
beautiful, llttdines.s. Journal of Educa
tion. The Multitude nf Mercies,
The great causo of our insensibility to the
goodnos of the Creator is the very cxtcn-
ivencss of His bounty. Wo prize but little
nit we share only in common with tho
rest, or witli the generality of our species.
When we hear of ble-sings, we think forth-
ith of successes, of prosperous fortune, of
lonors, riches, preferments,. c,of those ad-
antages and superiorities of others which
wo happen cither to po-sess, or to bo in pur-
Hit of, to covet. Yet thco are tho great
thincs. Theso constitute what most proper
ly ought to be accounted blessings of Provi-
cnee; what alone, if we might so speak, aro
wortliv of its care. Nightly rest and daily
bread, the ordinarv uses of our limbs and
senses and understanding arc gifts which ad
mit no comparison witli any other. Yet be
eauso almost every man we meet possesses
these, we leave them out of our enumeration.
They raise no sentiment; they movo no
gratitude. Now, herein is our judgment per-
erted by selfishness, A blessing ought m
truth to be tho most satifactory ; tlio bounty
nt least of tho honor is rendered moro con
spicuous by its very dilltision, its common
nes, its cheapness; by its falling to tho lot
and forming happiness of the great bulk and
body of our species as well as of ourselves,
Nay, even when wo do not possess it, it
ought to bo tho matter of thankfulness that
others do. lint wo have a different way of
thanking. Wo court distinction. That is
not tho worst ; wo sec nothing but what has
distinction to recommend it. This necessar-
ly contracts our views of the Creator's bo-
nefieenco within a narrow compass, and
must unjustly.
Lost Women.
Has it ever occurred lo you what a com
mentary upon our civilization nro these lost
women, and the attitude ot society toward
them? A little child strays fr un tho homo
inclosiire, andtlio whole community is on
tlio alert to find tho wanderer and restore
it to its mother's arms. What rejoicing
when it is found, what a tearful sympathy,
what heartiness of congratulation, Thero
aro no harsh comments upon poor, tired
feet, be they ever to inircy, no reprimand for
tho soiled and torn garments, no lack of
kisses for tho tear-stained faco. lint let tho
child bo grown womanhood, let her bo led
from it by tho scourgo of want what hap
pens then?
Do christian men and wowen go in quest
of her? Ho they provide all possible help for
her return, or if she return of her owu notion,
do they receivo her with such kindness and
delicacy as to secure her against wandering?
Far from it. At tho first step sho is de
nounced as lost loot I echo friends and rel
atives wo disown you ; don't ever como to
us to disgrace us. Lost, says society, indif
ferently. How bad theso girls are. And
lost irretrievably lost is tlio prompt vcr
diet of conventional morality, whllo onoand
all unite in bolting every door between her
and respectability. Ah, will not theso lost
ones bo required at our hands hereafter,
Mr, llurlcitjh.
Every year of our lives we grow moro
convinced that it is tho wisest and best to fix
our attention uu tho beautiful and tho good,
and dwell as llttlo as possible on the evil
and tho false.
"Augustus dear," said sho, tenderly push
ing him from her in tho moonlight Hooded
tho bay window whero they wero standing,
"I think you had better try somo other hair
dyo; your mustache taste like turpentine.
THE COLUMBIAN. VOL. IX, NO. 22
COLUMBIA DLWIOCTIAT, VOL. XI., NO. 10
Tlio Death of (Icncral Polk.
Sherman kept pushing his way down
toward Atlanta. It was In this campaign
that tho rebel General Lconidas Polk, who
had been n bishop of tho Southern Episcopal
church, lost his life, Tho story of his death
U ono of tho dramatic incidents of tho war,
reminding us of tho death of tho famous
French General Morcau, who was kilted by
a shot from a battery which had been fired
by the special order of Napoleon. On Juno
1L General Sherman in conversation with
General Howard, observed at tho distance of
800 yards a group of confederate officers,
evidently watching tho federal troops through
glasses. Sherman called General Howard's
attention to this group and ordered him to
compel it to keep behind Its cover. Howard
answered that his orders from General
Thomas were to spare artillery ammunition.
"That was right according to the general
policy," says Sherman. "I explained to
him that wo must keep up tho morale of tlio
bold offensive; that ho must uso his artil
lery to forco tho enemy to remain on tho
timid defensive, and ordered him to cause a
battery closo by to firo three volleys," One
of theso volleys killed General Polk, Gen
eral Johnston afterward explained to Gen
eral Sherman tho exact manner of General
Polk's death. Ho had ridden to Pino Moun
tain, accompanied by Generals Hardeo and
Polk. Ho noticed tlio preparation of Sher
man's bottcry to fire and caused tho soldiers
to scatter. "They did so," says Johnston,
"and he likewiso hurried behind tho para
pet, from which ho had an equally good
view of tho position, but General Polk, who
was dignified and corpulent, walked slowly,
not wishing to appear too hurried or cau
tious in tho presence of tho men, and was
struck accross tho breast by an unexploded
shell, which killed him instantly." "It has
been charged," says Sherman, "that I fired
the shot which killed General Polk, and
that I knew it was directed against that
General. Tho fact is, that at that distanco
wo could not even tell that tho group wero
officers at all. I was on horseback a couple
of hundred yards oil' before my orders to fire
were executed, and had no idea that our
shot had takeui effect."
Ueautiful Twin lirhles In the West.
Wo had tho pleasure to sec the newly
mado twin brides at tho Gibson house a lew
evenings since, and must confess that a
more perfect exemplification of the French
story ol Giroffo Girolla could hardly exist
They wero at supper with their husbands
last night when wo saw them, and a nice
little tea party tho four made. Tho bride
grooms aro brothers, but not twins. It is
not often in a lifetime that ono is permitted
to sco two brothers marry two twin sisters
Tho husbands are easily distinguished the
one from tho other. The older ono wears
full whiskers, while the younger has simply
a mustache. The trouble to be apprehended
is in the sameness of tho wives, and a very
pretty sameness It is. To uc a homely but
trite phrase, they are as like as two peas.
To describe tho one would be to describe
both. They aro of medium size, perfect
brunettes, dress exactly alike, and seem to
bo about twenty years old. Beauty has
richly endowed these fair brides and placed
its dimpled seal in the cheeks of each.
How, in tho order of human passions, it
camo to pass that either of the husbands
could fall in love with his wife without fall
ing in love at the same time with her -sister,
pas-es our understanding. It has been sug
gested that each of the Morgan brothers fell
in love with both of the Stuart sisters, and
to seltle the matter, put their sweethearts in
a bag, shook 'em up, and drew cuts for the
one that camo out first. We suppose they
know, but wo don't see how either of them
knows to which ono of the twins he is mar
ried. They came to supper, and by judici
ous assortment were seated each at the right
hand of her husband. When they went out
of the dinning room ono couple was allowed
to go some distance in advanco beforo tho
other started to provent confusion, Cincin
nati Enquirer,
The reverse of all that exists in Light
Street, Columbia county. An incident in
point: ono ot tho husbands starteil lor a
train but missed it by a few moments. Go
ing back to his own house his wifo was ex
ceedingly polite to him, offering him
chair, taking his hat, inquiring fcr tho health
of his wifo and children, &c. A smilo
finally betrayed him, and tho rest wo will
not tell !
Worry.
Things nro pretty well balanced in this
world, so far as comfort goes, and I begin to
believe that, high or low, all havo their
tribulations. Fishes aro hooked, worms are
trodden on, birds aro fired at. Worry is
everywhere. Poor men's wives worry be
cause tho bread won't rise, or tho stove
won't draw, or tho clothes-lino breaks, or
tho milk burns, or the pano of glass is
mended with putty, or they can't afford to
hire help. Rich men's wives worry bccauo
tho prescrvo dish is not of tho last pattern
or becatiso somebody finds out how a party
dress is trimmed beforo tho party happens
or becatiso 601110 grandco's wifo overlook;
them, or becauso tho help sauced 'cm,
broaks up tea-sets, spoils dinners, gets
drunk, aud cuts up sheets into underclothes,
Causes vary, but worry averages about tho
same, mo scaio 01 nines is uinerent on
different maps, but places remain just so
ir apart, and so do humanity and contents.
"Cuttino a Dido," This is a phraso
older than most people imagine. Do you
call to mind tho story of Dido, Princess of
Tyre. Her husband, Acerbas, priest of Her
cules, was murdered for his wealth by tho
Kink Pygmalion, brother to Dido, lho
widowed princes succeeded so well in hiding
her sorrow that sho was enabled to escape
from Tyre, bearing with her tho wealth of
her husband, and accompanied by a number
of disaffected nobles.
After a variety of adventures they landed
upon tho coast of Africa, whero Dido bar
gained with tho uatlves for as much land us
sho could enclose in a bull's hide. Selecting
11 large, tough hide, sho caused it to bo cut
into tlio smallest possible threads, with which
sho enclosed a largo tract of country, on
which tho city of Carthage soon begun to
rise, Tlio natives wero bound by tho letter
of their bargain, and allowed tho cunning
queen to havo her own way, nnd after that
when any ono played oil" a sharp trick,
they
said ho had "cut 11 Dido," That was almost
a,000 years ago, and the eayiug has como
dowu to our day.
A bad sign To blgn another man's namo
to a bill.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
ono Incli, (twelve lines or Its equivalent In Nonpa
roll type) ono or two insertions, l,W tlireo Inter
tlons, li.oo.
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slcnt advertisements must bo paid beforo Inserted
except where parlies linvonecountii.
.CKnlndterthuncnts two dollars per lneb for (brio
Insertlons.nndnttlintrata fornddltlonnl Insertions
wltliouiicfcrcncetoleiiglli. , ,...,,,
Hxecutor's, Admlnls rater's and Auditor's Notices
tliree dollars.
Transient or Local notices, twenty cents a line,
rvgularndvcrtlsfinenls ball rates.
cards In tlio "lluidncss Directory" column, ono
dollar per yenr for each tine.
Light Reading.
Motto for tlio married Novcr dis-pair.
A smoker is a passionate man. Ho nlvvays
fumes,
No man can truly feci for tho poor with
out feeling in his pocket.
"Telling an unvcraeity" Is tho latest new
and elegant phraso out.
Why is a door always In tho subjunctive?
liecauso it's would, or should be.
Wo find self-mado men very often, but
sclf-unmado ones a great deal oftencr.
When does tho wind descrvo reproof?
When it whistles through tho houso.
"Thieving In tho nutskirts," is tho latest
designation for picking ladies' pockets.
A man who attended a cat show, Baid it
was tlio most amewsing exhibition ho ever
saw.
"You look as if you were beside your
self," said a wag to a fellow who stood by a
donkey.
'So Tar, so good," as the boy said when ha
finished tho first pot of his mother's pre
serves.
"My son, it is bad grammar to say, that
aro pistol." "vvny, pa, 1 ncaru you say
th.it air gun."
Cincinnati claims to havo tho best hotel
cook In tho world. Ho gets up frog suppers
out of mutton.
Tho vilest sinner may return," wroto a
pious girl to her lover, with whom sho had
purled in anger.
What is the difference between a spend
thrift and a feather-bed ? One is hard up,
and tho other soft down.
Mary and Charles, "What animal dropped
from tho clouds?" "Tho rain, dear," was
tho whispered reply.
A gentleman, endowed with a great
amount of brass, desires to meet a lady pos
sessing a corresponding amount of tin.
A Xow Orleans colored lady remarks that
her husband holds the "Stinguished position
of stupidnumery 011 the mctropeliciau po
lice."
The boy who borrowed a dictionary re
turned it with tho remark that it was inter
esting, but somehow changed tho subject
very often.
"Hoys will bo boys," said an indulgent
mother. "Not always, ma ; wo hopo to bo
men, if wo live long enough," exclaimed
ono of the hopefuls.
A Chicago paper announces that tho trus
tees of tho seminary in that city are "going
to put an addition to tho building, to accom
modate eighty-six students 200 feet long."
A girl in Iowa brought a suit for breach
of promise, basing her claim on tho fact that
"said defendant repeatedly and on divers
occasions winked at tho plaintiff in spelling
school."
"Where a woman," says Mrs. Partington,
"has been married with a congealing heart,
and one that beats desponding to her own,
she will never want to enter tho maritime
6tate again."
Wo seo it stated in the "fashionable intcl-
genco" that "ladies are going to wear their
air this season as they did 300 years ago."
Wc had no idea that there wero any such
old ladies about.
A hotel keeper at a station on the Central
acific Railroad is said to call his guests to
dinner by discharging one barrel of a doublo
barrelled gun. He reserves the other barrel
to collect with.
gentleman of Alabama was lying in bed
one morning, when a friend stepped in nnd
said, "Smith, breakfast is coming up." "Let
t come," replied Smith, with a look of do -
ance ; I m not atraiu 01 it.
A lunatie in Redlam was asked how ho
camo there. He answered, "lly a disputo
What dispute?" Tlio Redlamito replied,
'Tho world said I was mad; I said tho
woild was mad; and they outwitted mc."
There is a grocer In Pennsylvania who is
said to be so mean that he was seen to catch
a Ilea oil' his counter, hold him up by tho
hind legs, and look into tho cracks of his
feet to see if ho hadn't been stealing somo
of his sugar.
A New York lady, traveling out West,
said lo a ferry-inan on the upper Mississippi,
"Are passengers ever lost in this river?"
"Lord bless you, mum, no; wo nl'ays find
em, if it takes a week," was tho consoling
reply,
An Alabama orator, in a recent speech,
Faid : "Hero I intended to close, but a new
thought comes rushing liko a mighty comet
through tho heaven of mind, scattering sys
tems in its path" and he scattered tho audi
ence by going on.
A young Irishman, who had married when
about 19 years of age, complaining of tho
difficulties to which his early marriage sub
jected him, said "ho would never marry so
young again if ho lived to bo as old as Mo-tlm-alem."
An idle man onco asked a coal merchant
what a peck of coal, multiplied by eight,
divided hv lour, with a ton added to them,
and a bushel subtracted, would como to. "If
you burn 'cm," said tho coal merchant,
"they'll come to ahes."
A New York paper lays down a number
of rules of action in caso ot ono's clothes
catching fire, and conclude by recommend
ing any lady who should unfortunately find
herself enveloped in tho flames of her burli
ng garments, to "keep as cool ns possible,"
"I thiuk I can suit you to a hair," said a
boarding-hous'O land-lady to a bachelor ap
plicant who had been stating hi require
ments. "Suit 1110 to a hair, ma am! 1 hopo
not ; that's what my last landlady tried to
lo, and gavo mo thrco samples in tho
butter!"
A gentleman, meeting an old friend whom
ho had not seen for a long time, congratu
lated him on lately coming into possession
of a largo landed estate. "Thero was such
a report," replied tho other ; "but you may
depend upon it that it wasquito groundlcts,"
A frenchman having heard tho word
"press" nmdo use of to signify persuasion
as, press that gentleman to take something
to cat took occasion ono evening at a parly
to uso a term which ho thought synonymous,
and begged a friend to squcezo a young lady
to sing.
'Could you," Paid a young lady teacher In
a Sunday School, "utter what I havo been
reading to you, forgive your enemy? that is,
could you forgivo another boy if ho struck
you?" "Why, yos," said tho little rustle,
doubling his llts, "If ho was a good deal
bigger than me,"
Tho undertaker 1 a pcrsonago of ill pre
sago to tho house of life ; a raven on tho
chlmney-pot,a dead-watch in tho wainscot, a
winding-sheet lu tho candle. To meet with
him is ominous; his speech 1 prophetic,
and his touch is mortal. Nevertheless, ho
ha 0110 merit whatever ho umhrtaUn ho
perform,