RATES. OP ADVERTISING. AND ' , d I'liM I -il'HU LVEUY FllIHAV MORNING ttrritHOoLUMUlAN IIUlMllMCI NKAUTUlt count iioofln, nLowtsntino, rA nv CHARLES B. BROCKWAY, Kuiton and rRorntr-Ton. XoraS"Xwo Mm a Year jayaHo In aiTMics; , JOB VRINTING iif illilcsctlnlloiiM Hxccuud with niatutm and1 ulspulcinu'rr,ii8onabieraveB, Oolumbh County Official Directory. -.otlOlf iMlnta -1UA21 DEllli, IBAAO B. M0J1 "yv mofnry,ito.-Ilrriot,rn II. ItiNni.r.n. "i-rfrrd' liiconlti -Wll-MASMOS 11. JACOBV. It 'rtet Attorney JAMM HUISON, JIl, vAcrtf AAnoN fMtrn. IV fflir- ISAAC WITT. Demurer WtI.I.tAJt LAMOIf. tommm-uncM t J uus lluiimsE, HlliAJl J. 11 i in K. Wli.i.tA'iftfAtr-I!H, . luntTt'tHn-WlLMASIIilStCKMACM, AlldltOlli h. 'J. CAllrllKLL, DANIM. LSE. ( HIM.' SCO.NNKH . ., r ClIAltl.KS CI, Mtfitntr. It jt im((tmT-lBAAOjlf;UlllDK,JOUH Jio Jill I., C n j'crtnttvttaU Wit, II. BNYEMi. Jllmm J'ortr Usfrfrf-Dircrtor', H. II. Mir.t.xn Wil.M' 1 KitAMi.n, niooiiisburg, nnd Joiinhoii Ikki.e . cuumvoor, t'HAr.LE& Lonneu, bec'y, Llrromsburg Official Directory, J (. v l. ,u llanhvt) IVi.-JollN A. FUNSTOa 1 mom, 11. II. Ui.oi., Costlier. J i Xultanal ;mi I'llAS. 11. FAXTON.Pres't , .1. P. Ui TtN.t'a-dilcr. . , -. C ,it)ttCiioituMiUuctltttvtntlinilrtnct Loan Al to iio;i-i;. 11, LITTLE, 1'lCB't., C. W. Jlll.IJtll, U j'tanmiurff Aiillttlnp nilil flavltiff Vnd Attona on si. m. l'l'AciH K, l'res't., J.H. lloiiifloN.Hcc. lltomm),urg Mutual Having Fund Asmciiilton ,1. J, lii.uwi it rriBldentf O. a. llAiuti.i.Y, Hco'y. Oliurcb Directory. l'KKsniTr.niAN cnuncit. Mtnlster-Utv. Hunrt Mitchell. Hi),l,ith Am ( IOJi A. M.; VJi 1'. M. ubbatn f(iMA, M, Ircwr Meeting Vnlni'(lny,7J5 r. JI. Muds fuoi no ,kh lentul; bttuiiBCis vtl couU: 31ooxtif3burg Directory. )AlkFU ItAiiH JtiM received nnU for fiaio nt the CLOTUlNa, Ac. AVID lAJWLNHl.llO, MercliautTBllor.Maln ,nboo iMncrtrnii Jtoupe. CLOCKS, WATCIIKH, AO. t n.fiAVAliK, dcuerlu ClorkF, Wntclics nnrt . Jcwe.ry, " 'nln bt JubI liclow llio Aincrlcun I Cl'J i LKltNHAltl), Wnlcli nud Clock maker Ij neiii HoiiUicnsl corner Main and Iron. Ms. CATIICAHT, Watch anil Clock Mnkcr.Mar tot .tr et, lielow Main, BOOTH AND SHOES. n M.KNOItll, Dealer In Hoots and Shoes latest l!. iiml litM fctjlis, corner Main and Market Mi id!-, In llin old 1'oslOfllce, IIENHY KLEIM.ilnnuracturcr and denier In LI nonis ana miiocs, urocerieK, cm. , Main utreel, L?. llllnamtibum. rKOPSSI.ONAL. Dir. II. C-HOWKlt, burucon Dcutlbt,Malui.t.' ubovu the Court House. DK. Vil. M. ULllKU, Surgeon and I'liyslclau. Office over tliu I'libl National Hauls. Ct O. HAltKLEY, Atlorney-at-Law. OElco, "tl I, Hour In tl'PColumlihm ImlldluK. 1 IT McKni.VY.M. I).,Burgeou and l'hj blcian J . north Mdo Malu St., below Maiket. I C. IiUTTKIl, M. D. SurReou and l'liyklclan ij . Market street, abovo Main, j 11, ItOlllSON, Attoniey-at-Law, Oilier Hart J . man's bulluliiK. Main street. T 1 . 11, F. KINN'KY, Burgeon Di'i.llit.-Tcetli iJextincttil without uulu: Main ht ueaily op ostlo Kplheopal Cliuiuh, T XI. RVANH, JI. I).. BiUKenn and 1'hj-i.lclan, .) south Rhio Main street, below Market. D1S.A. L. Tl!HNi:it, Physician and I'mci on, of llro oer KIcIiu'h Drill! Stele, leMdcnro one door below Ucv. 1). J. Waller, MtlililNERY & FANCY GOOIVS. I'i:Ti:itI,IAN, Millinery and Fai"5 (Jooils, i. opposite t:piKcopai uiiurcii.i.ii'iii m, M IKS I.1Z7.I1'. BAUKI.LY, Milliner, Itnineey building Alain Mrcct. UIRH M. DKHItlCKBON, MUllnny ami Fancy ill l Coods.Mnln st below Market. lilt". JULIA a. & hadi: hah; ladle' t ci truer Hi l'l I'loaUs and Dress rutteru.), i" Minn ?nd Wc3t sts, mill; MIKSKS 1IA11MAN Mllllnciv end Fancy 1 Goods Main st.,below American lloiue, HOTELS AND BALOONf. iximai HOTEL, by T. r of Malu street. Hent. Taylor, east end lUEHCIIANTS AND GP.OCFKP. I C MAKH, Dry tlooils and Notlonn, south. J wi'steomer Main and Iron sis. 1 i.iv a writii fVmrpMtmiprv and tinkirv. 1 t hnlncnln nnil rptllil. KxcllflllCfl HlOrlt. II r.Iinfflill, Ilatsnnil Cups, Hoots i.ndSlioen, Maln st alKivo Court lloiibe. T II. MAIZE, 1.Tn,nnlli nrr.irrv flun ftrn- i). citIcs. I'rnlts. Nuta, ITovlslon, Sc., Main and CeutioHtreetK, Hl'KKLVY, NEAL CO., dealers In Dry Goods, j)l (Iroceiles, Flour, Fel.f;alt, Fish, Iron, Nails. etp,,N, 11. cor. Main and Market its. C H. MILLEIl & FON, dpalprs In Dry Hoods, n. (lioceilts. Qncpnsware, Flour, Halt, Hhoes, Notions, etc., Main at. MISCELLANEOUS. n M. I HUISTMAN. Hiulrtle, Trunk ,t Harness. U. rnal(r,8Hlva'HH!oek Main Street. ' ) V. ItonillNH.llqnorilealersecond door from noi thwest corner Main and Iron sts. I i. TIIOIINTON, Wall Taper, Window tilmiles ' i d fixluri s, liupi rl block. Main tt. n W.COltl LL, rurnltnro llnoroi.thtco story U lulck, Malu Blrett, tst of Mmtet H, nllORENKTOl'K.l'liotnKraplicr, over ISobblnii to Hyei'a Kloie, Malnbt. I H. Ki ll , ilenlrrln Meat, Tallow, Ptc, Chcm J betlln'saliey.iParorAmeilcan Houso. nMI'l'I JACOHY, Maible- and Hrown Ktoue Works, Eubt r.loonn.buj(!,HwlPk road. tM. ItAIlII. dealer In InuiMuri', truntts, cedtr ' ' willow ware, near tie) Forks Hotel. n 11. HIDLKM AN, Appiit lor Munson'H Copper !V Tubular Llahtulns Hod. n FOBTEH, White and Fancy Tanner, and V . dealer in ice.Mcotiown. T(ixr. P.noKS. and blank NOTEH. with or with IN out exemption, for balo at tlio Coluhkian uuice. Catawinaa. B , KobblnK' llulldlUB. nit. J. K. HOHHINH, Bitrceon and l'hyslclati IJ necond St., ueiow Mam, fllLlinilT A KLINE, dry goods, groceries, and U geueinl merchandise, Main nireev 11. IC1BTLEU. "fattawlssa Houso," , Corner Main and Becond Btrects. Noi Hi I KEILEK, Hlllard Haloon, Oysters, and Ico 11, cream in bcasou iuiuunv. M M. HHOIIST, dealer In GcneralMerchaudisc ury uoocis, .irnceries se, nllliinTTI.'llA VNA nr Tlrlplr Hotel. H. Kostcn O bander lioprletor,soulh-east corner Malunnd tt M. II, ABBOTT, Attorney at law, Main St, Light Stroot. IT F. OMAN 4 Co., Wheelwrights, first door 11. above School House, TOHN A.OMAN, Manufacturer and dealer In J Hoots aud Shoes R S. I NT, dealer In Btoves aud Tin ware In an us nraucucH. I ll TI 11 1 NT, Miller, anil dealer in all kinds ot 1 Gialn, Hour, Hd, Ac All kluds ofUraln piireh'ineil. Espy. . I'DOAH, Siimiieluuiiui 1'lanirc Mil ppil Vox .Vmi fucluilni;. Buck Horn, II A (J. W 11. rillOI'M Ai:i lt. dealers In dry lll'goods, grocett'ilis mid teueral luetchaudsu ; o hi ui. 1 VOLUME VI. -,- NO. 49. Orangovillo Directory, D' 11. Iir.imiNU & BnOTItm,Cariicntcrsand . llulldcrs, Main St., below I'lne, HItICK HOTML and retreshment' Raloon, by IlphrM'lIenry cor.of Main and Finest. Dlt. O. A.Ml:OAnoHL,I'hyslclanandUurgtiou Malu at,, next door to Hood's lintel, DAVID llEltltlNflfTour and UrlstMltl.and Dealer in eraln, Mill Street, TAll:a"uIAltMAN7bablneTI.Iakcr and Un' J dortaker. Main HI., below l'lne. SC1IIIYLEU & CO., Iron founders, Machinists and Mauufactuieis of plows, Mill Bt. (1 AMUEIi BI1 AHl'LEHB, Maker of tUoIay hurst O Grain Cradle. Malu Bt. ' WILLIAM DELONH Hhormakorntid matmlae turer of lirtck, Mill St., west of l'ino Philadelphia Directory. yAINWItlCUIT & CO., V.'HOI.nSALL' ar.dcEns, N. E. Corner Second and Arch Btrects, I'lIlLADELI'IlIAi Dealers In TEAS, BYltUrS, COFFEE, BUGAH, MOLAPHEfi kick, cirirrs, m rAmipoDA,u.,st'. O-Orders r 111 iceclve irotnpt attention, niay lc,li7-tf. AltVEY IS. WALKEil, WITH S3 Oil KOI' 1' M E i K , A CO. i m r o nr rvs a :rn o o m ;i r. c r lUINA, 1LAM(1 AND aUEENSWAHE, No. 108 NOH1 II SECOND bT., I'HILADr.I.rHIA. JSt Orlulnr.l fiwortcil vncLngcs of tinecnsw.no coubtaullv on hand. iLh'&'Ti'U, Bneiacna Oardo. E. H. LITTLE, AITOliNEY AT LAW, OIIIcp Cotirt-Hone -Alley, below Ibe Colcm ni an Olllee, HloonibbuiR l'a. c. B. 3JKOOKWAY, ATfOllNEY AT LAW, l!L0O3I3HUr.O, pa, 5- Oi-'i ice Court llonko Alley, In tlio Co ldmuian bulldlns. (Janl,'67. Q W. MILLER, " ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oflleo Court IIouco Alley, below tlio Coi-tjm-nrANOfnee. Houutles, acl:-I'ay and FenslotiH collected, HloomsburB l'a. sep.a)'67 JOHN M. CLARK, ATTORNEY AT LAW. At 11. F. Clark's Ulooiubburf, l'u. lato oflleo, Main Mitel, M. l- EYERLY Has entered Into tlio Liw and Collection bml- ness wllh I oUu O. I'rcep. INq., Atlornov at Law, olllcom llrowei's Hulldlus, Main Btreot Ilr.0O5ISlHTIlO, l'A, Nov. 15th, IM.-IU RJEW STOVE AND TlJS SHOP. ISAIAH HAGENBDCn, Main Street ono door above II. Mendonhall's Btore. A largo nsortrnent of BIovpb. Heaters and ltanses eonstautly on hand, aud for balo at the lowest rates. Tinning In all Its brauclicsearefnlly attondedto, and satisfaction guaranteed, Tin work of all kinds wholtaalc and retail, A . 'lal Is lcquepted. Jan 1'71 ILOOMSDURQ HAKUIii; W O II Ei S. MAIN RTRKET, I1ET.OW MA11EET, ULOOMSUUHO, 1'A. - Monuments, Tombs, Headstones, Ac. Work matly rsreutcd. Orders by mall will recelvo special attention, N, II. Work dellveud trceol cliari!P. T. L, GUNTON, Proprietor. octl3'7Mf, I'. O. Box 897. B AROAINS BAROAINS. QCIt'K SAI.t") AXO RMAI.t. P1101TIT8. Go to 1IENKY YOST, East lllooinsbuii! l'a., lor all l.lnds of Uiebcst ojim auu city inline F U I". K I T u k i; . l'rlces reasonable and the be- Jan l'7t tf "ork dene. yULCAN WORKS, 1) A-JN V I Ij L 1' A. WILLIAM II. LAW, Manufaetnier of Wrought Iron Bridges, Boilers, t.asliouiers, l' lreprooi iuiiiiimgs, winurm iron Uoollug, Itoollng Flames, Flooring and Doors, Farm Gates and fencing, also Wrought Iron pip ing, Stacks and all kluds of Smith Work, Ac. Hi pairs piomiitly attended to. pi.ti, iirawiugs auu i-buiuuies mij-juicu, oelK'71-ly. ,ERNIIARD STOIINEU Would lufoim his frlcudi and tho public that ho has taken possession ol THE OXjH) ST3STID3 In tho Exchange Week, so long occupied by him md will entry on t lie business oi a FIRST-CLASS BAKERY', Ho brings to tho bustuess an experience ol many eiiisnud iissiue tlio community thathowlll IlllUlbll llio llPbllll llUmi,lUlvVM,IUW,UIl-llll,.l, Irefch eveiy day. HniuoposeH also to lu op on hand n laigo aud well assorted block ol FINE CONFECTIONERY, of nil guides. French candles and thooof dn tnestlo nm nu fact tire, al ways to bo had. wholesale and reliill at iowist nites. Adjoining tho Bakery and Conlcetioncry is a well established wlieiPinny be found AIo mid Lager, and Ile Iiesliinc'iils, Ojsteisin stason and tho various I U tl dellt neks which tuitthu public taMc. Theie Is also u FINE ICE CREAM SALOON, over tho ennlcctlonciy store, where ladles and genlkiucu can obtuiu tho best of Jco Crtaui lu bcnsou, A fair fhaiebf the mibllo custom Is requested and uoialus Mill Lospiirulto cuMiio bailslac lloo apillW.'iMl EW DRUG STORE. CHRIS. A. KLEIM Hnvlng puiel.tiFcd tho tuslncui of E. F. Ltuz now ollcisatthe old Hand, a (LoUcmnioitiucu of Diiuay, , PATENT MEDICINES, TOILET AnXiCLKS, FANCY'ifcOAl'S, BUUSHES, Ac,, Ac, Anil a eentiol afoilmtntof tho choicest goods usually lound lu first class establishments, 1'hjsli Inns' Prefcilptlous and Fniully Heclpes Ciiielully Compouudtd. on t-uuOa) s, nnn Hem 8 a.m., lo 10a, m.,and iroin . p, in,, to i p ui. GUiMAN AND ENOLlSiH BI'OKEN. feh a'73-tf TASIllONABLEDREBS MAKING JL; Mrs. L. Hawlcy, Milton, Fashionable liltssinatr ami J tiieni i oi nuyf uiiuvmu'ii sysiein oi nitiUK by nuubuie, in ine.peciiiesi inostMyllsh nndrerfift luauuer, Dresses, Pol anuho und all liielltV nnd misses' fnimentB', in vlles it cull liemi all wlfintig to hum the din gram, or to l.avo euttiug and tilling ol sun; .im, us well ah in l'hlladelnlil.1. and at moiler nte lutes, tiullb nuido lo oiiler. t'nll.lliluliloor nbi.e Mrs, l'u i,M B time, Main men, uimw Its lend, west i nu Oct. II, 1K7S.-SHI. MltP. L. IIAWI LY MIIION, Mifjcollanaorjc. T E N T I H T R Y . It. O. HOWElt. DKNTIHT. ltespcctfully offers his professional services lo clnlly, Uo Is prepared to attend lo all tho vari ous operations in ino nno oi uis proiession, anu is provided with the latest Improved I'oncr.i.AiN j kotii which win uo inscrieci on goiu piaiing silver nml rubber bsso to look as well nsthe nal nral teeth. Teeth extracted hv nil tho new and most approved methods, and nil operations on the teeth earalullvnlid nronellv attondect to. UcBldeuco and oflleo a tow doors nhnvo tb court House, samo sine, llloomsburg, J nn.1'71 ly JIJSURANOH AQENOYi Wyoming CSCo.ow A.Inn , , 4,i'i,oiif Orient OOO.OCO Uoynl or Llwrpool lp.uotuio Dnnvlllo Muluul 6?,00O Sprluglleid f.70,010 German la, N, Y ... ..,., CCO.000 mtomatlonal N.Y ...,.... 1, C't.TSJ Formers' Danville id HOO.ioi Lancaster city , ki,60i) Heine 2,000,100 FKICAH BUOWN. Apent. n3ai21'71 ly. ' Bi.ooJisiinna Fa. O. nOWFiR, Imu opened a firbl-closs BOOT, IJIIOE, HAT CAP, AND rUlt STOBE, ,it f'eold itendon JTalnRtrept.llloomsbnrg.rfcw dooisabovo Hie Court House. His stock is com pnsrdof thovery latctpntl bpststyles over oiler ed to theeltlr-ens of Columbia County. Ho can aecommodato tho publlcwltlitliofollowlnggnods at tin) lowest rntes. Men's heavy double aoled stnga boots, men's double and bfnglo tap soled kl boots, mcu'R heavy sloga shots of all kinds, men's tlno boots and thoes of all grades, boy's double soled boots and, shoes of all kinds, men's glovo kid Balmoral shoes,mcu's, women's',boys's and misses' lasting gnlters, women's glovo Kid I'ollMt very llne.womeu's morocco Baliuoralsand calf shoes, women's very lino kid buttoned gait ers. In short boots ol all descriptions both peg ged aud rowed, i He would also call attention to his fine assort ment of ATS, CAI'S, FUltS AND NOTIONS. which comprises nil tho new and popnlat vari eties at pilccswlilchcannotralltoBitltall. These goods aio ollercd at the lowest cash rales and will bo guaranteed to give satisfaction, A tall Is lollcltcdboforo purchasing elsewhore as It Is believed that better bargains pro to bo found llinnnt any other place lu the. cntmly. Jau 1'71 rpil E OR A NOE VI L fiE MAN UFAC- JL TUBING COMl'ANY;. MAKUrACTUrinna or AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS of tho west Appiovcd Patterns. 3JIM fJcarliii,', .loldihsg1, ' ' aurt fassiiiRN of all descilptlons. DEALEIIH IN Genera! Merdinndieo, Lumber, Ac, Ac. ORANGEVILLE, PA. We would announce to tho public In general thnt wo hove tnken the well known Agricultur al Works on his place and sballinnko Hour aim to mnmihicluio Ilrbt Class Agilcullurnl Imple ments equal lo any other mnkcrs In tho State, such as Tlu'Chlilng niaclitiicw, Both Lever and Tread Fowcr. Plows of every Description, among which will bo tho celebrated KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO, acknowledged by all to bo tho best Jdow extant lor Ihe fanner. Also tho Clinmipioii, Sterns' l'a t cut aitel The 31otitro.se. ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS, Cultivators, Iron Kettles, an el Castings of every description. Wo shall uso nonobut tho best materials and employ nonobut competent aud experienced mechanics and our prices will enmpuro lavorably with auy other manufactur ers. Country Produce, Lumber, Old Iron, taken In exchange. Woalsolmvea store In connection with our Agricultural Works, where, mnv bo found n lull assortment of MERCHANDISE which will bo sold at bmall profits. Glvo us a callbefoio puicbnslug elsewhcro end we guar antee satisfaction. march22 7i-ly. Hotels. rjpUE ESPY HOTEL. E3FY, COLUMBIA COUHTV, FA. Tho undersigned would Inform tho travelling public that he has taken tho abovo named estab Irshment and thoroughly refuted the same for tho perfect convenience of his guests. Ills larder will bo stocked with tho best the market atrords, Tho choicest liquors, wines and cigars always to be found lu his bar. WILLIAM FETTIT. Espv, Fa. t? J. Tr JuJt would i burg and vlcli THORNTON announce to tho citizens of Blooms- u and vicinity, that no ha lust itcclveda lull and complete assortment ot WALLI'Al'EH, WINDOW SHADE?1, rixTtrius, cobls, taeskls, and all other goods In Is line of business. All tho nearest and most approved patterns of the day aiu always lo to louud In hts establishment, raar.5.'(i9-tf Main St. below Market. CARRYING TnK UNITED STATES MAIL BETWEEN New York, Coil and Liverpool- NEW AND FULL-POWERED STEAMSIIlrS, OCEANIC, REPUBLIC, BALTIC, CELTIC, UCllillA.Ul, llllll lAIO, AUlblAXlU, ATLANTIC, Palling fiom New York on SATURDAYS, from Liverpool on THUUSDAYS. palling at Cork Harbor each way. From tho While star Dock, Pavonla Feiry, Jersey City, Passenger accommodations (for all classes) UllUYUIltU, CUIUUllllIl SAFETY, SPEED, AND COMFORT. Baloons. rtale-rooms, smoking-room and bath looms lu inlUbhln section, where least motion Is leu. surgeons nnu itowaidesscK accompany these steamers. HATi-s-euioon,56iiKoiu. steernge, Miicnrrcn. ry. '1 hoso wishing to bend lor friends from the Old Country can now obtalu siLeraL'o m-ernld clj uiiiuii-s, C'ltJ cuiiriicy. rasseugers uouueu to Ameiiea. l'arls. llambu from nil narts of iiamuurgu, Norway, Sweden India, Austialla, China, Ac. Drulls from 1 unwards. I'or Inspection ol nlnns nndntherlnformntlnn ntinlv nt the Comoauv'sOlIlces.No.luIlroadwnv. New York, JIIU, VI, 187?. J, II. BPARIvS, Agent Tllft MAMMOTH GROCERY j, ii. .n a i z i;, Mul.ii st., cornor 'of Centre, Blooms burg, Pa. 1 Has an 'extensive stock of FINE FAMILY' GROCERIES which ho olfeis te fjje, public at the very loww GASH- PRIOKS... His7;ooils nro toe! best In tho moikct, im 'hro sold nL rules bu low. that hoeanuut uk)1 on eled- It, His pluu Is to have first eluvi goods nnil Bell for cash.' " FOR CASH AND OASil ONLY llloomsbursr, Oct Hilt, l'7l'. t 't . ?j BLOOMSBURGr, PA., Ffclp Ay , DECEMBER G, 1873. Poetical. l'OU.Vn AVANTINU BY KATE PUTNAM OSObOD. How long wilt thou tho mock remain Of dwarfs who loavo thea tints Behind 7 Or can herolo mould contain A lesser soul than plgmy-klnd I Will thou hnvo lived through, manhojil'3 prime, Y'et not havo known what llvluj meant 7 In tho grand battle of thy tlmo No blow have sltilck, no nld lmvo lent 7 Thou sltlcst nerveless In tho du?t, Unmindful of tlio glorious fray I ' Neglected In their scabbard rust Tho weapons that should cut thy way. Of thlno own untried strength afraid, Nor daring to bo wholly great, Thou offerest, for thlno lillo blade, Tlio coward's niello plea of late. ftlo'l what Is fate? weak chance, that holds Distrustful purposo In Its bands i A spider's web, whoso flimsy folds (, . Are spun about a giant's hands I ... Wouldst thou but ouco essay the might, Tho godlike staturo given thee, Bwlfl as a strong llamo to Us height Thou Bhouldst leap up erect nud free. Butfcar tho fate thysclt may makol 1 or custom's quicksand yet cm drown, And thine own powers, nngoverned, take ltobellloas loreo to drag theo down. Bethink theo that tho giant's weight Sinks lower than tho pigmy's can ; And tremble, lest heroic Mats Dwindle to something less than man I Kcribncr's for September, Miscellaneous. WHAT IS A CIIU03I0 I Cliromo is it conveniout abbreviation of chroino-litboKraplior irlltliogrfipli in colord. To explain what it is, wo must first brieltydescribotho'plain lithograph. Of tlio various prints or engraving, tliero tiro tho&o printed from steel and copper plates and from wood-cuts, hut tho great mnjority.both fine and coarse, aro lithographs, printed from stone. Tho stono used is it peculiar limestone, capable of receiving a polish, and yet an absorbent of water. To print n litho graph, the stono in first polished, and then whatever design is required i3 drawn upon it with u pencil made for that purpose, and which contain somo icasy matter. Lot 113 suppose that tho artist draws a picture, or, what is sim pler, prints out the words "American Agriculturist." Tho stone is then wet ted, and the water sinks into tho pores everywhere except the places whero tho greasy ink formed tho words;. Ink, or paint, is then applied to tho wholo stono with a roller just as It is to types. This ink doe3 not adhoro to tho stono whero it is wet, but to the words drawn with tho greasy, pencil tho ink will stick. Then a sheet of paper is laid over tho stono, and tho wholo pasacd under a press ; when tho paper Is lifted off, it ill bo found to havo taken up tho ink left adhering to tho words upon tho .stone. This process can be repeated over and over indefinitely by inking tlio I stono and keeping it properly wot. , Now let us suppose thnt wo wish tho ord "American" printed in black and tho word" Agriculturist" printed in red ink. The lithographer would tako two stones, ono for each word, and print tho black ink with ono stono and tho red ink with another. Ho will tako caro to havo tho word on each stono in such a position, and to put his paper upon tho second stono in such a manner, that the words will bo in their proper places. Now, let us supposo that wo wish tho word "American" in black and yellow instead of all black, and"Agriculturist" red, ns before. This will rcqulro threo stones. Tho artist will draw with his greasy pencil, A e-i-a upon tho stono for black,and m r-c-n upon the stono for tho ellow, taking enro to leavo such spaces between tho lotters,that when tho black is printed, and tho paper placed on tho stono for tho yellow, tho letters will bo in their proper places. This is a very implo case, but it will cnablo us to ndcrstand how chrorao3 aro made. An artist paints a picture, using tho colors,and blending them in such a way as will produce tho effect ho desires. t is tlio business of tho chromo litho grapher to tako this picturo and icpro uco a copy by mcaus of printing In tho manner wo havo described. Thero must bo as many stones as thero aro colors and tints In the picturo. Ono stonomust havo all tho red drawn on it, another all tho bluo,anotliernll tho brown parts of tho pirturo, end so on. Sometimes ouo color Is printed over another in order to get tho proper shade, so that, to rcproduco tho picture, tho chromo has to bo printed a color and a bit at a time, on from ten to twenty or moro stones, every touch of tho painter being faithfully copied, when tho chromo picture has received 10 or 18 paintings, on so mnuy dlfllrcnt stono-s, so that It is Blinded every way like tho original, it finally pressed upon a clean stono vhieh has been cut In grooves liko tho threads of canvas, mid it now has all tho appearance of being n real painting on canvas. Tho reader will sco that it Is an im moiiso work to preparo tno uuierent stones nt first, so that each shall havo aomo partof the plcturoiujust tho right place and color. It takes threo to six months to propnroasetof stones for ouo picture, oven if but ono copy was to bo printed. But after tho stones aro onca prepared, copies can bo transferred to other stones In n fow minutes, and after that they can go on and print as many thousands, or tens of thousands, ns nro desired. Good artists ntchromo printing such ns make our pictures do their; work with such faithful minuteness that not only persons in general, but even tho nrllat himself, would bo puss zlcd to distinguish tho copy from tho original painting without tho closest examination Agriculturist. (icrumii I.inr. Acutiou3 work, on "Tlio Humorous Elciuout In German Law,"by O.Giesko has Just been published In Berlin, Tho HUtliordcscrlbes tho punishments which yero inflicted in tho various parts of Germany, In somo casts Up to a vory rcceut period, with tho object of humll iatlng tlio culprit, and exposing him to publiIdieuk', A common punishment wus that of going in procession through tho streets ofn town or villago. lt'ia drcbs covered with Images of swords, WhlfWrodiV ftnd othcwirrstrumonis oi .corporal" !cjiaslls6inent. In Hcsso wo men ,whohau 1)6atcn their husbands woro mndo to.rldo backwrtrd on it doii key) holdlng'hls tail, on which occasion thqanltiinl Was led through tho Mrcots by tliojiiisband. This custom existed in Darmstadt up to tho inlddlo of tho p.ovunloonth century, and was so com mon that a donkey was kept always ready for tho purnosO in tho capital and neighboring villages. If tho woman struck her husband in such n mnnncr that ho could not' ward off tho blow, tho donkey was led tiy tho man who had cliargoof hlra ; if not then by tlio husband himself. At St. Goar a miller was allowed a certain quantity of wood Trom tho forest belonging to tlio town, lu return for which ho was bound to supply a donkey to tho municipality whotiovor ron ulrod forthocliastlsonlont iof a'fccoldlng wife. Another very old .customer was that of punishing a hen pecked husband by removing tlio roof of Ills house, on tno ground that tho man who allowed his wife to rulout homo does not deservo any protection against wind and weather. If two women fought In public, they wcro each put in it sort of closed sentry-box, which only left their heads exposed, and then posted oppo-dto each other in tho market-place, whero they remained for an hour, face to face, but unnblo to uso their hands or feet. A common punishment for scolding women was tho "shameful stone," which was hung around ;thelr nooks. This stono was usually In tho shapo of a bottlo. At Hamburg libellers and slanderers woro compelled to stand on a block and striko themselves threo times on tho mouth as a sign of repentance. This custom still existed thirty or forty years ago. u some towns tho ''shameful stono" was in the shapo of a, loaf, whonco tho German saying, "A heavy bit of broad." At Lubeck It was in tho shapo of an oval dish, and in other places In that of woman putting out her tongue. Such stones wero usually very heavy. Ac cording to tho law of Dortmund and Halbcrstadt (1319,) they wero to weigh hundred-weight. Tlioso who wcro wealthy could purchase exemption from this punishment, with a bagful of ops tied with red ribbon. Anecdotes or Chief- Justice Marshall. Judgo Marshall's simplicity of char acter and nbsont-mindedncss havo been tho themo of a number of anecdotes. Tho ono bosf known is about his puzzlo over tho buggy and tho sapling. Turn ing asldo ono day to avoid ono of those awful mud-holes which abound in Vir ginia country-roads, tho axlo of his buggy encountered a stout sapling. Tho sapling was between tho hub of tho wheel and tho body of tho buggy. Too big tohonddownandtoosupploto break this sapling seemed to tho judgo to ho Tholiy uneoiKiucmblc. What to do ho new not. Ho got down out of tho buggy tho better to npply his great in tellect to tlio knotty subject nnd tostudy it thoroughly up. While ponderine: ninly, a uogro man carno along. "Uncle," said the Clilef-Justice, "I Ish you would tell mo about this sap ling. I can't got over it, nnd I can't get iround it, and I don't want to stay hero nil day and miss court. What do you think I had better do?" Tho old negro could not repress a broad but silent grin. "Why, olo mas tor," said he, "I 'spec' do bos' thing you kin do is to back yo' buggy till ou git clar of do saplin,' den turn do hade (head) of yo' hoss.and den you kin void do saplin' and go to coto slick s gooso grease." "Thauk you thank you kindly, un cle, I should never hnvo thought of that in tho world. You aro a man of superior mind. Tiiero's half a dollar for you." And the judgo drove joyful ly off. Anothor anecdote, illustrating tho amo simple-mindedness and easy good nature, lias, so far as I am aware, never been in print. It it this : When Judgo Mnrshall lived in Richmond his oppo site neighbor wn3 Colonel Pickett, fath er of tho Confederate General Georgo E. Pickett of Gettysburg famo. Colonel Pickett wus u man of wealth,lived woll, and was not contont unless everything about his household boro tho marks of good living. His horses wcro his prldo, and wero consplcuotH overy whero for their splonded appearance, being ns sleek, fat nnd high-spirited as abundant food and excellent grooming could mako thoni. Judgo Marshall's horses, on tho othor hand, wero notoriously lean and unkempt. Everybody but tho Judgo had loug remarked this. Al last it was brought to his notice, with tho sugges tion that his c.trrlage-drlvor neglected tho horses, sold much of their fond, and appropriated tho money t Ills own uso, good deal of it going, no doubt, for liquor. Tho Judgo called him up without do lay i "Dick, "what is tho reason Colonel Pickett's horses are in such splendid condition, while mlno nro almost skel etons? ,1 nm afraid you neglect them, don't half-curry them, and don't half- feed them." Dick, not expecting tho attack, was fairly posed. Ho hemmed and hawed nwhilo till ho could gather Ids negro wits about him, nnd then said: "Mars John, look nt you Is you fat'.'" "No," said the Judge "decidedly not." "Well, look -at old mjss" (Mrs.Mnr- Blmll)-l3 alio fat?" "No.'! "Den look at me Js I fat?" "No." "Den look nt yo' horses is dey fat?" "No." . ','Now dun, you Jcs look nt Kunnel Plekott. llo fat, his ca'idgo driver fat, Ids liorsos fat, ids dogs fat all fat. Do troof is, Mars Joliu, fut run in do Pick ett frttn'ly, nnd it don't run In our'n, Dat's all." " Well," paid tho. Judge, ufter a little reflection, "thero Is it good deal In that It nover occurred tomu before." Ho turned back into lil-v htudy, nnd Dick was nover troubled uuy more. -Lippliv cod's Magctslne, COL. An EilHor'n Sanctum. Of courso thero Isn't n moro delight ful spot in tho world than nn editors sanctum. If you doubt It, JuBt nsk nny man who lias spout sovernl years thero, wearing out Ida brains in perpetual eflbrtB to wrlto first-claps articles, nnd having tho3amo brains bothered overy five minutes by pcoplo who can't un derstand howgloriously ho is enjoying himself. Hero U how n writer talks ubout tho pleasures peculiar to tho deep, grim sllenco of tho sanctum : "No ono over comes up into tho rooma on tho top story of n four-story building set npart for tho staff of a dally papor. This is why overy nrticlo runs so evenly and smoothly. All you'vo got to do if you belong to tho staff Is to climb up there, sit all day long in tho deep, grim llenco, nndAvhon midnight cornea you can lower yourself down stnirs with a consciousness that ovory nrticlo will read llko clock-work. Yesterday morn ing I commenced an nrticlo entitled 'Tho Unseen Influences of tho Spirit World,' nnd had got as far as to say 'Although wo hear no voico3 thero Is somo subtlo influenco pervading tho when a man camo up with a de mand for n correction of an article charging him with bigamy. You havo to keep right on with an idea when you get hold of it, and so I run him in: 'Pervading tho air nbout you all tho timo Peter Smith has called nt this oflleo lo say that tho unheard volcea coming from the dead often swervo us from ho isn't tho man mentioned as having two wives tho path marked out by tho obstinate .' (Hero another man camo in and wanted a notlco of his now building) spirits which refuso to yield to that new block on Michigan nvenue, although Smith is directly charged by tho police with a niarblo front nnd 120 feet deep. At night, after n day's toll, who docs not lovo to sit down and let his mind run to tho mys terious shadowy basement under it, and stono cap3 abovo tho windows, wo tnko great pleasure in setting Smith right beforo ids fellow-cltizans, nud ' (Hero n man caiuo up stairs nnd wanted to look ut a Stato map, although ho could havo found ono down stairs.) 'Cortalnly, sir ; look at all tho Stato maps you want to, nnd call back tho spirit of somo dear friend gono before, as will ascertain tho name of tho pollco man who wrongfully accused Mr. Smith of having a frontage ou Michigan avo nue, which hclp3 tho look of that street very much.and you will find tho county of Hlllsdalo further left of that land from which no ouo has ever returned to tell whether our friends aro sad or joy ful , (Hero n boy camo up and wanted lo sell somo tonka beans to keep moths off.) 'Thank yo, bub, don't want any tonka beans If you ever want to look at any moro of our maps como right up with n Mansard roof to crown all, and Smith is now set right beforo tho public and friends generally, who havo thus improved tho town and com mune with them as to whether a mo ment of sadues3 does not occasionally steal over them as they think of tho fond friends left behind como up and I'll talk with you about tho tonka beans and overy patriotic citizen ought to keep a Stato map in his now block on Michigan avonuo Smith states that ono of his wives deserted him in Illinois, aud tho other r(IIero n subscriber came in and wanted to know why no paper wa3 Is3ued tho day after Thanks giving.) 'Because it was a day set apart for ono hundred and forty-four widows in tho cntiro block with tonka beans enamelled on Stato maps to mourn their early departure through tho valloy and shadow of death, I don't want you to bother mo any mere Mr. Smith about your wives and como bub get right down stairs now with your beans to that spirit land whero all is joy and peaco tho compositors want a holiday and its against tho principles of Christianity to ' (Hero a boy camo up with a basket of apples.) 'For- over moro can't oat apples owing to my teeth and Smith is now made good for auy beans which any Stato map con uected with this oflleo h ts nothing but joy and peaco to mark tho nevor cndlng tlmo I'll break your neck if you say apples to mongain and you seo that tho now block spoken of hr i no bigamy to provo tho mothi dou'r. apply tho tonka beans sold in IIUIsiIkIu county." Dc troit Ffcc Press. Hnmifiilo by Imprudence. Paris correspondent of tho Now A York Times writes : Ono of tho vacant low upon tin outer boulevard Is given up to a sort of fair. Thero aro sovernl small shows nnd jug glorj' booths. Upon tho outsido ofn small shanty ono sees a largo painted canvass representing a number of wild animals, aud In tho centro a royal Ben gal tiger is struggling In tho folds of nn ctiormous boa. Ou Tuesday ovonlng an animated crowd was gathered beforo this show, so veral' persons accusing tho showman of deceiving tho public. Thoy hail paid ilvo sous to boo tho ani mals, and had soon but ono auako, and that was dead. Tho showman protested tlio bete was only sleeping A coun try man, armed with a heavy stick, and followed by a frisky llttlo dog, proposod to settle tho matter, and declared that If ho found any deception ho would enter u complaint against tho showman Tho public acclaimed their brawny champion, and payiug again, out of curiosity or a senso of public duty,they ontered tho show. Tho snnko was ns quiet as ovor. Tho countryman walked ibout him, tapped on tho glass, nnu Anally decided that tho snako was not alive. "If you como when ho lakes his food you" wjlll uco whothcr ho is nllvo or not," said tho snowman. Tlio country' man declared that, thlsiwns merely to put oil" tho public. "No man can do- celvo mo with Hiieli shown ns this," ho said mpjestlcally ; and the crowd ap plautiod. "You liuy n rabbit for him then," said tho showman, sulkily, Tho countryman ww sosuro that no man could decelvo him that ho offered to throw in hisjlog. At llrst tho show man ncceptcd, but seeing that his antag onist was lu earnest ho began to protest DEM. - VOL. XXXVl NO. 42, Tlio crowd became menacing. Thoy threatened to tear down his shanty, nnd to march him off to tho police. Holding the dog in ono hand, his stick in tho other, tho countryman allowed ono inlnuto only for opening tho cngo. Tho showman entreated, and wna laughed nt for his pains. Tlio timo had nenrly expired when llo raised his lid, and with a glance of triumph around, tho countryman throw in his dog. Ho had barely touched tho floor ore tho boa raised his head, and quick as a flash ho enveloped tlio terror-stricken dog and crushed hliii in his coils. Thero was bno plaihlivo yelp, a cracking of bones, and that was all. Tho countryman was thunderstruck. Ho took off his hat and draw his hand nccrosa his brow. At that moment his eyes fell upon tho showman. With a bound ho sprang upon him, giving him a blow which felled him to tho earth, and two or threo moro in quick succession. Tho showman was killed on tho spot. Be foro tho Commissairo tho countryman expressed many regrets for his viva cious movements, and so did tho weep ing wife and children of tho showman. 'Mr. President," ho said,"Inm very sorry indeed thnt I killed thosaltlm banque, but that dogof mino was worth threo hundred francs." The man will bo tried for "homicldo by imprudence," and will get from threo to five years. About Adnm. Wo havo always believed In Adam. Wo havo looked upon him as ono to whom mankind has been under pe culiar obligations. Standing by tho sido of Evo as tho first married man, dressed in a sumptuous bear skin, ho appears to us as wo look backward through tho dim vista of tho centuries upon him as a person indispensablo to tho future of his race. Certain philoso phers would try to make us believe that this majestic figure is a monkoy ; and sometimes tho results of human events, elections for instanco, seem un accountable, except on tho Darwinian hypothesis. But wo hold that tho man who would reflect upon tho dear do parted in sucli nn uugratoful way docs not deservo tho .sympathies of his kind ; as for ourselves, we intend to nail our fig leaf to tho oust and cling to tho old Adam. What hi' know about farm- ingserved him in good stead in tho hour of his disappointment, and, though overmuch given to lying in tho shade and munching apples, wo know that when ho found himself ouo morn ing on tho wrongsido of a certaiu gar den gato ho indulged in no unmanly ropining3 ho neither whimpered over his Alto nor. mado faces and, shook his fist at tho guardian of tho forfeited pro mises, but diligently set himself to work to develop tho ordinary crab Into tho New York pippin. There aro certain times when wo llko to withdraw our minds from tho tur moil of the present age and dwell upon tho character of this grand old patri arch. Sometimes, oven when our desk may bo covered with hat accounts lost on tho election, wo get to thinking on Adam and don't caro how big tho liber al majority is in Now York. Adam was never troubled about election bets, or anything else, except tho grafts in his orchard. He had no mother-in-law and his wife nover bothered him with her milliner's bill. Ho had a natural antipathy to snakes, but ho was nover worried over missing .shirt but tons. Ho never supported an unsuccessful candidate for president and saw his hopes of a beat in tho cabinet grow dimmer and dimmer s the reports cama in. Nor went his cars deafened and his IVcliuga hurt by tho booming of thocaunou of tho radical party over at New Albany. Neither did ho re celvo tho ironical aud mallciou3 con oratulations of his neighbors tho morn Ing after tho election on tho fortitudo with which ho boro up under adverse news. His oyes wero never offended by tho crowing roosters and flaunting banners of his opponents ; for, barring his ono unfortunate speculation in fruit undertaken at tlio Instance of his sleoplng partner when tho devil mado a corner in apples, his life was eminent ly a success. To bo sure, ho had never had tho proud consciousness of having establish principles tl.at ho know would ulti mately win In spito of tho influence of a hostilo administration that for a while- brought Inovltablo defeat upon him nor did ho havo tho pleasuro of seeing tho old parly lines of Ignorance and reludico broken into fragments and disappearing before his vigorous assaults; but as ho sat upon tho hills facing tho sunset, in tho happy tlmo beforo his eldest boy began to bo fist and run around with strango women from tho land of Nod, ho could watch ills shoot ing scions without n care, nor trouble himself with tho future or his off spring. llo stands for us ns tlio grand exem plar of sucess, ns wo hear tho noiso of unsympathetic thousands snouting over ompty victories, and smell tho fumesof powder burnt In honor of a fitful and phemeral triumph, our thoughts go back six thousand years or moro to grand old Adam, and then Not a wave of troublo lolls across tho peace ful breast." Louisville Courier Journal. An old fellow who was noted through the town for his stuttering as well as for his shrewd nets in making a bar gain, stopped at n grocery aud Inquir ed : "How m-m-many t t-t-turkoys havo you g-g-gotv" "Eight, sir," roplied tliu grocer. "T-t-ough or t-t-tender ?" "Somo aro tender and somo tough,' was tlio reply, "I k-keep 1,-b h-boarders," said tho new customer. "P-iiickout tho ffour t-t-toughest t-t-turkeyx, If you p-p-pleuse." Tho delighted grocer very willingly complied with' tho usual request, and said In his pollte.st tones: "These aro tho tough ones, sir." Upon which tho merchant coolly his hand unou the remaining four, exclaimed : "I'll t-t-tako th Ih th these)" tbne Inch, (twelve line or tlx equivalent In Nonpareil type) ouo or two Insertions, 11.61) three Insertions, too ' 'Bl'ACE. One Incli ....... Two Indies Three inches..,. Four Inches.... Onnrtpr column I W. 2sf. Sit. t IX. 110,00 15.00 IS 00 ih.ou w,ou co.ou 100,00 ,3M 13,00 fi.oo .. s,t.n 6 w 7,00 ,., t.uo 7,00 n.oo , 7; 0,00 11,00 t,00 0,(10 12,00 17,00 ao.oo Half column 15.00 Jll.1.1 ll.UU Mm One column...... .30.00 88,03 40,00 00,00 Kxecntor'd or Administrator's Notice, J3.CO Auditor'! or Assleneo's Notice, $2,00. Local notices, twenty cents rt line. Cnrrta In tlin' "ItnslneM Dlraclory" column, t2jw per year for the first l.wo lines, anil SI OOfor each additional Humorous. AOhioago Doetbeelnsannnostroplio to tho ocean with "Prodigious damp ness!" ' Wnr.N n. bootmaker commences to mnkon boot tho first thing ho uses is tho last. Mrs. John Bagcjs of Omaha, hits left Mr. John Baggs, taking tho monpy uacs. nua loavinc jonn to noui too m- tlo ompty Baggs. 'Thn sun hlirmn liko n nair of clerical pants, and tho air was ns clear as tlio pocKcistnoretn." A political opponent mentions an Iowa tianer n9 "boint' printed on n cheese press, with shoo pegs for type." The CIiIcauo Timet asks. "How caw woescapoflroV" Tho Now York Com mercial answers, "Tho Gospel offers ypu overy oncouragemont." It was wittily, but somewhat ungal- lantly said that a woman Is tho very roverso of her mirror tho ono reflects without talkiner, and tho other talks without reflecting. Theodore Hook was asked to ro- view a book called "Three Words to tho Drunkard." "Oh, my dear fellow, that t win do in threo words, "rass tno bottle 1' " There 13 a town out West called RnndotrV. A resident of the place bo iticr asked whero ho lived said ho lived at Random. Ho was taken up as a va grant. The Loulsvlllo Courier-Journal no- oticallv remarks : "In Montiromerv. Alabama, tho other day, four negroes got on a spreo ; ono tooic out nis litiio acKKiiue. anu now tncro niu't ut three." A Michigan womau recently nut her Infant child in a tub ol water, then stuffed n feather-bed over it, and sur mounted tho wholo with Hi!relf. Tho child smothered with great facili ty. Levi Brown, of Poygan.l Mlchl gan, thought ho could hold it play- lui young hull by tho tall but his wid ow nowsays "ho could never stick to anything ten minutes in his life." AN editor in tho unner end of tho Stato says: "Wo expend ?5OO,OOO,(IO0 yearly lor drinking." Ana hi3 paper has only a circulation of 700 copies, too. Wo don't seo any uso in a man exaggerating that way, oven if ho la an editor. A company started 'in Middletown for tho manufacture of odorless rubbor goods Is rapidly approaching bank ruptcy, which shows how Impossible it is to mako goods without a scent. "Who was tho meekost man. mv son?" said tho superintendent of a boy's biblo class inthisState. "M0303. sir." "Very well, my boy ; and who was tho meekest woman ?" "Please, sir, thero nover was no meekest wo man." A Western editor kindl v savs that a politician with whom ho does not agree was mado about two days after me out contract lor Drains had expired, and before tho new ono was made. It requires moro dolicacv of touch, a better acquaintance with tho inner emotions of the heart, and grander pa thos oi sentiment to maiso a declara tion of lovo than it does to put up a stove. The Connecticut nericulturist who last week found a five-dollar gold piecei in tho crop of ono of his chickens ro marks that for its size it's the most profitable crop ever produced on his liiriu. Saint Louis had .him this time : Name, Hotchlns : occupation, nhvsl- cian ; age, ono hundred aud forty; causo of death, small-pox. Oldest Freemason ; no spectacles ; constant voter from his youth upwards. Mr. Holloway. tho patent bill po tentate, is about to build in England at a coalof nearly 100,000 an insauo asy- mm presumaDiy to snow his gratitud -to tho class from whom most of his for tuno was derived. A Western papor states that a Turret Hume boy of tendor years and heart has drowned seventeen klttem, tied pans to tho tails of nine dogs, brushed his father's new silk hat against tliu grain, aud blown up a pot canary with a firo cracker in tliu last month, aud still his foud mother intends him fir the pulpit. A Missouri journalist having as serted that a Loulsvlllo scribe had Just discovered that ho could wag his left oar, tho latter retorts that tho Missouri man has his aural appendages under sucli control as to bo able to On him self with them. A HAflBER in TItusvliie, whilo cut ting tho hair of u rural customer, run his shears against somo hard substance, which proved to bo a whetstone. Tho old farmer said ho "had missed that whetstono over einco haymaking time, last Jtiiy. iuui'imu looisea nil ovor a ten aero lot for It, but now ho remembered sticking it up over nis ear.'' A little girl, when her father's ta bio was honored with tho prcsenco of nu esteemed friend, began talking very earnestly atlhofirstpauto in thoconvtr sation. Her father checked hor rather sharply, sayiiigj "Why Is It that you always talk so much ; "1' vo dot somo sin to say," was tho innocent ro piy- A Western editor rolntos tint ho ouco stopped at a restaurant in Wash ingtou, and noticing that tho waiter was uncommonly sbber, asked him if ho was sick. "Yes," very curtly. "I Is." "What's tho matter?'' "Why. sir, Washln'ton's tho wus placo ovor I see. When it's dry you can't seo whoro you're gwlne, and when it's wot you can't gu." Rhode Island Is indulging In sotu ) dangerous sport. It has got a big bal loon nt l'roviuenco, anu tno iiuuihu think It great fun to go up, so unit thoy enn Beo tho whole state at u glance. Now ItU not necessury lor a inn mnu to go up In a balloon to uo unit, nnu tno short ones might get boosted ;" and moreover, supposo tno nauoon, wnue tied down, snouiuicnr tno iittio stato up by tho root nud carry It oil', there " . . . . . . .,i,...n.i ........ WOUlll DO liire-u eiiNuuni uiira lost. Once on a time, nt tho funeral of a wife, the undertaker arranged for tho htlsbaud and mother-in-law lo rido in the tamo carriage. "Muatl," eaidtho broken-hearted mau, "naust 1 rido with that aWful woman"?" "I think you will havo toA answered the under taker, "O, Mr. Undertaker, how can I rido with that dreadful woman V" "It will disturb every carriogo In tho pio ces&ton to mako a change," said the man of busiuess "and you must ride hero." "Well, If I must, 1 rnuM." said thoBtrlcken mini, "but to ildo with her dethoys all tny ))lcont)etnthi4 occasion." put und