it a UVIV AtJl) (KTIlKOOLUMniAM HUII-DINO NRA TITHE court hqtjsb. ntooiisnuROi rA, nr CHARLES B. BROCKWAY, KntTon and rnorniKTon, tcra!"TffO Collars a Voir jiyatlo In advaceo, JOB PRINTING in iititCHCt'lplloiiR executed with neatness and dispatch nt reasonable rales. Columbia Oonntv Official Dircotory. ivd'i-fit.rmnje-WlLLtAM Klwell. i ri!(e Judges Iiiam Dunn, Isaac H. Mon- 'oiwion, itc.-nnnnjT.it It, ltiNnt.r.n. llctiis'cr it Jttcoritcr WliTMAMseiN II.JACOUY, ll III lllw, I'W' .1 rtf, M.uiaiit'i J , ticl AAltOH SMITH. X it ior Isaao Dkwitt. jit ci WII.I.IAM IiAMO.sf. i , itMirra lvhvh ilonniNS. ilinAM J, l'r Hf WILLIAM MlIATKl.ll. ( i uoiicrt' Clerh Wl i.t.tAM KnicicnAUM, ,1. ,(( l 1, J. CAM I'll KI.l., DANIEL LttE. LltAHIH) t'oNNKIt I iroilT e 11 Altl.l n. iuoiii'in . ,;i(,v;(mm(fatii-lsAAOSIcllii:nE,JoiisMo. j-.VAI.l.. L J II II I v on'ii in i. illicit, iMiiitiii Minim JVmr Mi-Directors. H. II. MlLLTtn WILLIAM KltAMKii. llloomsburg, nnd JohnhoiI lI.fcl.MI, GlOOllWOOd, L'llAlU.F.S t'ONKEII. SCO'S'. Bloornsburg Official Dirootory, ltlr.omi.hurn linnUnn Oi. JOHN A. rUNSTOM President, 11. II, (Hum:, Cashier. 1'irnt Natlimnl Yiinfc-CiIAS. 11. PAXToN.Pros't , J, 1'. Tt'HTIM, Cashier. tWii,iitIrbiiiiWJIftiialrrtMi7Mifninniliom1i itclallon JJ. Jl. Littlk, l'res't., C. W. Mima, H ;oMtli(f lluUttlno and Bartna ttnd AilocHf Kmi WM. 1'i.Arorir, l'res't., J, 11. Hoiuson, Bee. lllamnkhura Mutual Haling Void AMOctatton- J.J. lliiownt l'ltsldcnt, C. O, BAliKLKY, Boc'y. Oliuroli Dircotory. wiEenVTEntAN nmncH. 1fiiWir ltov, Stuart Mitchell. Kabbalh kcrvico-WA A. il.J VA r. M. jiiMiiiM aWiobJ-DA.M. .,,.. jyoir Mec'ing Wcilucsdny,7) I'. t. Heats frcoi no rows railed) HtrnnBcra wol- cnino. Bloomsbnrg Directory. PAi 1 it I1AOH lust, received nnd for solo nt tlio CllI.UMlHAN Olllco. CLiOTUIKQ, &C. DAVID J.OWENIIKHO, MercliiitTnIor,M(dn t-l..nbcivt Anicrlcnullouse, DHUOS, GIIKMJUAhS. Ac. 1', I.UT., DriiKglstaudAiiolhccnry. Jlnlu Bt. dcIiiw tlio I'usl Ofllco. CLOCKS, WATCHES, AO. 1..HAVAOK, dealer In Clnclm, WntchM and . i welly, MiUu St., Just below tlio American I C L I ) IIUKMII AllI), walcn anil uiocic mat U npari.oiiUi-'nslcoriior Jlnlu nml Iron sts. I CATIICAKT, Watch nnd CIoclc Slater.Mar IV, ket stlcct, bolow Main, BOO'JS AND SHOES. 11 M.KNOHIt, Dealer In lloolHnnd Hhocs, latest I1;. and best Myli's, corner JIalu and Market birctt". In tlio old l'ost OlUco. UKN11Y KI.KIil.Mnnumctiircr and dealer In linolK nnd Shoes, Groceries, etc., Main sticot, K" unooiusuui'i;. 1'KOFESSJ.ONAIi. Dlt. II. C. HOWElt, Biirgcon Dentist, Jlalu st. above tUo Courl House. D U. WM. M. ItnilEH, HurKCon and I'l.ytlotnu. Olllco over tlio Flist Natlunnl llauk. "1 a. DAItKIiKY, Attoniey-at-I.aw. OJllco, 2d (. ilonrlu Kxcliautollloclt, near the "Kichango Intel." I uTMcK1:I.VV,M. D.,SurKenn nnd l'hyslclau I . uoitlisldo Main sl below Market. r c. llUTTUK, M. I). Burgeon and rnysician J. Mnrkel street, above Main. I J. Mnrkel ' t n. non 11. HOIUHON. Attorncv-at.I.aw. Olllco Hart- 1. man's building, Muliiblrcet. D.t. li. K. 1IINNKY, HlirsPon Di'Utlst. Teeth mtrncled wllhoiltlinln: Main si., nearly op- Ujillo ll'lai.Ui.,t V.UUlCll, T It. I'.VANH, M. D Burceon and riiyslcian, J Miutli side Main street, below Market. Dlt. A. 1 1, TUItNKll, Vliyslclnn nnd Huigenn, of llco over Klelm'H Diui! Btoir, iibldtmo ouo ilour below ltev. D. J. Waller. MILLINERY & FANCY GOODS. I.i l'liTF.UM AN, Millinery and Fancy Uoods, 1J. opposllo Episcopal Cliuicli,Maln st, li ISM I.lZZin 1IAIIICLKY, Milliner, Itamsoy in in IiuIIiIIiik Main bti'cel. 1ISH M. DKItUICK'BON, Millinery and Fancy .11 Uioils,Slalusl below Market, il 1W. JUl.IA A. AB.VDi: IJAItKI.KY, Ladles' jl Cloaks ami Dress l'altornj, southeast corner Muluund WestsU, Mil: MISSKB 1IAHMAN Mllllucrv and Fancy J Omuls Malubt., below American ilouse. HOTELS AND SALOONS. POIilCS 1IOTUI,, by T. lleut. Tnylor, east cud 1 or Main street. JJEUCHANTS AND GROCERS. 0 1 0, MA It It, Dry Goods nnd Notions, south- ttesi corner iuiu nuu jrou sis. VOX. Wlillll. Confectionery nnd Bakery, i wholcsalo and retail, Exclnuigo Ulock, (.'. HOWlIIt, HatR nnd Cnps, Hoots niulBhocs, , Main St., above Court House. I II. MAlZi:, Mammoth Grocery, lino dro ll, fu'lit, Fruits, Nuts, 1'iovlslon, &r., Main iu.il CuitioKlreets. MK r.I.VY, NllAI, & CO., dealers in Dry Goods, Clroccries, Flour, Feed, Halt, Flsh.lron, Nails, tic.,:'.', l:. cor. Main and Market sta, Q II. MIIJjKK & RON, dealers lu Dry Goods, n, (noceiKs, (lucenswaro, Flour, Bait, Bhocs, Notlous, HcMalust. BUSOELLANEOUS. I ( M, ( IIItlSTMAN, Bnddlo, Trunk A llnrncsa U. iiinlur, Hhlve's llloik Main Btreot. DV, UOltlllNH.llquorilcalersecond door from ' lioithwesl coiner Main and Iron sts. M J. TIIOUNTON, Wall Vapor, Window Blinded li. rml Ustures, Itupert bloyk. Main st. GV. COHF.I.Ii, Furulluro ltooms, llireo story ' I'l tck, Main Btreet, west of Market bt. I I KOSKNHTOCIC.l'botogiaplier, over Uobblim ,1' A Kyei's Bloie, Main st. I H, KUIIN.dealerln Meal, Tallow, etc., Cliem. I' bci IIu'r nlloy.iear of American Uoube, OAMUEI, JACOUY, Marbln nnd Drown Btouo "'Works, l'.ast lllooiusbure.llerwlck road. VM, HAI11I, dealer In furnlturo;trunks, etder ' willow ware, near the Forks Hotel. II.11IDLEMAN, AKentfor Munson's Copper lJ'Vubular Llgutnlni: ltod. OFOHTEIl.aiiio MakorTnud White and Fancy . Taniicr.Mcottowu. MOTE HOOKB. nnd blank NOTES, with or with Al. 0111 oxcmptlou.tor salo at tho Columlian Odlce. Catawissa, B. F, DA M.MAN, Merchant Tailor, Second Bt. Hobklns'llulldluR. D'.t.J. IC. UOIiniNB, Burgoon nnd rhyslclan BecoudBt., below Mnln. niMiKHT & KIiINK, dry Roods, isrocerlcs, and U eeueral ruerchaudlso, Mulu Btreet 1 H. KIBTLEH. "Cnttawlssa House," North ' , Corner Main and Bocoud Btrects. LKEHiEIt, lllllard Bnloon, Oysters, nnd Ico . Cream lu seabou Malu Bt. MM. IlItOllBT, dealer In GeuoralMorchandlso . Dry Uoods, Groceries &e. Rl'HQIIKirANNA or Ilrlck Hotel. H. Kosten u uauuer 1'roprletor.bouth-east corner Mnln and liiroud Btreot. y-M. II, A11I10TT, Attorney at law, Main Bt. Light Stroot. 11 '. OMAN ft Co., Wheelwrights, Brat door abovoBchoollIouko. JlVii,?'iA'0,sJANi Manufacturer and dealer In " Hoots aud Hhoes H. Sli1.'."?' Jcn,ler la Htovts aud Tin ware lu all lut branches. 1)1 'f I'll KNT, Mlllcr.nud denier lu nil l'irdm" " 1,J"Hr'i'u''i c- A" klna i,... . ' kllulfl lit of Grain Espy. i "flud Hux Man fiicltuiui;, I VOLUME VI, ---NO, 41. Buck Horn, M ft O.W. If. BIIOEMAKi:rt. denlra In drv Roods, crocelerles nnd eencral morchnndso Orangovillo Directory, Dlt. linitniNO ft BltOTlinH.Cnrrcntcrsnnd ; Builders, Main St., below l'luo, 1JHICK IIOTIUj nnd rerrcslimout Baloon, by it Hohr M'llcury cor.oIMaln aud l'luost. Dlt. O. A.MEOAnaEI,,I'hyslcInnnndSurBCon Mnln St., next door to Good's Hotel, DAVID 'HEHllINO, Flour nnd Grist Mlll.nnd Dcnlerln grain, Mill Btreet, TAMES B.HAltMAN, Cabinet Maker and Un O derlnlter. Main Bt,, below l'lno. SCIIUYIiEIt A CO., Iron founners.Machlnlsts and Mauuracluierg of plows, Mill Bt, s AMtlKLflHAnrMCBrt.MakoroftUcIIayhurFit II.LIAM DEI.ONO Bhoemnkerntid mnnnfnc- turcr or- ilrlck, Mill Bt., west or rmo Philadelphia Directory. yAINWRIGHT & CO., WHOLESALE OKOCEIta, N, E. Corner Becoud and Arch Streets, rntLAOELi'itlA, Dealors In TEAS, BYllUl'S, COFFEE, SUGAIt, MOLABUEfJ kick, sricr-s, in CAiin soda, do., ao. 49-0rdcin will rccelvo prompt attention, may 10,(rr-ir. JJAltVEY 15. WALKER, WITH MEA.lt, H011R01'1 & CO., lsfoini-.i:s AKDJomiKnsoi' CHINA, GLAB3 AND QUE ENS WAHE, No. I0S NOltTll BECONDST., I'lIILADELI'HIA. S-Orlplnal nfhoiteil jincl:nes of Queenswnro eonsianuy on uauu. Ieb23'72-tf. BuBincss Cards. E, H. LITTLE, A1TOUNKY AT LAW, Olllco Cnurt-lloitiio Alley, bo:ow the Col.UM 1HAN Olllco, llloomsburg I'a, c. U. RROCJCWAY, ATTOUNEY AT LAW, jiLOOMSnDno, pa. Office Court House Alloy, In the Co lAlMWAN bulldlug. Janl,'V7. c. W. MILLER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Olllco Courl House Alley, below the Colum bian Olllco. Bounties, IlncK-l'ay and Pensions collected. Blooinsburg I'a. sep.SO'M JOHN M. CLARK, ATTORNEY AT LAW. OFFICE aaovo Uowcr's Btorc, Main street, Bloomsburtr, I'a. JOBERT F. CLARK, ATTORNEY AT LAW, omcoMnln Blrect bolow tho Court Honso. llloomsburg l'cnn'a. B. FRAXK ZARR ATTORNEY AT LAW, l'.LOOMBllURG, I'A. Olllco Willi J, O. Frccze.lli over's Block. Din bo consulltd in Germar or Engllsli. lodiSO'ilMf EW STOV3-: AND TIN SHOP. ISAIAH UAGENnUCU, Malu Street ouo door nbovo K. Mendenlinll's Btoiu. A lnrge assortment of Btovcs, Healers and Ranges constantly on hand, and for balo at the lowest rates. Tiuulugluall Its branches carefully attondedto, iinii Naiisiaciion guaranieeu. Tin work of all kinds wholesale and retail. A rial Is requested. Jan 1'71 jgLOOMSBURG in a it it 1. 1: iv onus. MAIN RTUFET, UKr.OW MARKET, BI.OOMSBURO, I'A, Monuments. Tombs. Hendstones. Ac. Work uiatly cicculed, Orders by mnll will receive special attcntlou, N. II. Work dcllveied frcool charge. T. L. OUNTON, 1'roprli lor. octl3'71-tf. 1'. 0. Box 19J7. JgARGAINS BARGAINS. QUICK SALES ANll SMALL rilOFITB. HAVE YOUIl MONEY. Go to 1IKNRY YOST, East Jlloomsbmg. I'a., for all kinds oi thobist Iioiuh and city inndo F U R N T T II R E . Prices teahouablo and tho bur' work dono. Jan 171 tf "yULCAN WORKS, DANVILLE PA. WILLIAM II, LAW, Manufacturer of Wrought Iron Bridges, Boilers, Gasholders, Flieproot Buildings, Wrought Iron Roofing, Hooting Frames, Floorlnu and Doors, Farm Gales and feuclug.nlso Wroughtlrnn pip lug.Btncks aud all kluds of Smith Work,i)iC. Repairs promptly attended to. N.ll. Drawings and FMlinaKs supplied. ort27'71-Iy. JJERNHARD STOH.NEU Would Inform his friend nnd tlio public that ho bus taken possession ol THHEE OXjJD ST-HSriD, lu tho Exchaugo Block, so long occupied by him aud will cany on the business of n FIRST-CLASS BAKERY, Ho brings to the busluessaurxperlenro ol many years aud absures tho eouimuulty that lio will lurulsli tho best of bread, cakes, lolls.bUcult.itc, fresh every day. He proposes nlso to keep ou hand a largo aud well assorted slock of FINE CONFECTIONERY, of all grades. French caudles and those of do mestlo manufactuie.nlwnystnbo had, wholesale) aud retail at lowest lates, Adjoining tlio Ilnkcry anu louiccuouery is a wen e'biauusueil RESTAURANT, where may be found AIo and Lager, and Re Ireshiiients, Oysters lu season nud thu various little delicacies u hlch suit tho public tustc. 'Xbno Is also a FINE ICE CREAM SALOON, over tho coufcclloncry store, whero ladles and gentlemen can obtain thu best of Ico Cream lu beasou, A fnlr klioie of tlio publlo custom Is recini-sted nnd nopalnswill bei.spnredlo etisuio bnltslac lion nprtr.WMt JEW DRUQ STORE. CHRIS. A. KLEIM llnvlni; imrelinsril tho lmsliuss of i:. 1'. l ,mx now olleis at I ho old bland, a el'oleo a.SMiitiiie-11 of DRUGS, CHEMICALS, l'ATF.NT MEDICIN EH, V.'OII,F.'r ART! CMS, 1'ANCYKOAl'H, llltUSlIIrt, Ac Ac, And aeeneinl nhsnlmontof tbo rboleest pomla usually J. in ml In HrslclnsH islabllbliuient i, l'liislelaiib' I'liscilpllonsuud Family ll;clpes viiic-iuii viuiiiHiuimeu, On huudays, open fiont 8n. in,, to 10a, l n.,and ,U,M ,11, , U 1 Jl. ,11, GERMAN AND UNtlLISH BTOICK JM.f ftu-V7Mf MincollaucouH. TQUNTISTRY, II. O. HOWEIt, DENTIST, ltespoctfnlly offers his proresslounl services to tho ladles nnd gentlemen of 11 loom sbnrz nnd vl. clulty. Ho Is prepared to nttend to nil tlio vari ous oprralloim In the lino of bis profession, nud Is provided with tlio loleRt Improved Poiicei.ain Tl ETlt which will bo Inserted ou gold platlnx silver and rubber baso to look as well nslho nat ural teeth. Teeth extracted by nil the now nnd most approved methods, and all operations on tlio teeth carefully and properly attended to, Resilience and olllco n low doom nbovo tho Court Honso, Rnmo sldo. llloomsburg, Jnu.171 Ir JNRTJRANOE AGENCY, yoming -.. J20O.OO0 JUva 4,000,000 Orient oOU.MW Roynl of Liverpool KUWO.Mfl Dnnvlllo Mutual 6",0U0 Kprluglleld ;.. fi70,l)"0 Germanln, N. Y .. 600,000 International N.Y l,(fi!),783 Farmers Dnnvlllo, )W,W) I.iuenstcr City sanion Home 2,000,100 FRBIAB BROWN, Apent. mai2r71 ly, Bloombhubo 1ft, pjINKLEY KNITTING MACHINE THE t'IMI'LKBT, CHEAPEST AND lTJsT IN USE I 1IAB BUT ONE Nl'.EDLEI A CHILI) CAN RUN IT I Deslguod efpeclallyfor tlio use of families, nud odles v,lio deslro to knit for tlio market. Will do every stitch of tlio 1: nil line In a stocking, widening and n arrowing ns lemllly ns by hand. Aro tplcudld lor woisleds nnd fancy work, TAKING FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF STITCH I Aro very ensy to mnnngc, nud not liable to let out eif oldor. Ecry Fniully should have one. Wo vrniit an Agent In over- town to Introduce did bell lliem,toMhoiuwcoirer the most liberal liultieenientH. Scud lorourCliciilarnudSnuiplo Btockine. Address. HfNKLEY KNITTING MACHINE CO., uov. lo,'71-ly. Bat li, Me. U O. IIOWER, lias opened n Ilrsl-clasB HOOT, HIIOE, HAT CAP, AND FUR Ul ORE. at the old stand on MnlnRtrcot,Jiloomsbiirg,afow doors nbovo tho Courl Honso. Hlsstocklbcoui posrdof thovcry lntestand beststyjes over oller ed to tho citizens of Columbia County. Ho con ncconimodoto tb publlo with tho following goods at tho lowest rntcs. Men's heavy double boled stogn boots, men's double nud slnglo tap soled kip boots, men's heavy stoga shoes of nil kluds, men's line boots and shots of nil grades, boy's double Roled boots nnd,sbocs of all kliuls, men's giovo kid Balmoral sboes.men's, women's, bovs's aud misses' lasting gaiters, women's glove kid Pollsh.vcry lluo.women'smoroccolSnlniornlsnud cnlf shoes, women's very lino kid buttoned galt ers. In short boots ol all descriptions both peg gedandbcwed. Ho would also call attention lo his lino assort ment of ATS, CAPS, FURS AND NOTIONS. which comprises all tho now and populai vari eties at prices which ennnot fall to suit nil. These goods aro ollered at tho lowest cash rates and win uo guarauiceu logivo satisincuoii. A can Is solicited before purchasing elsewhero as it la believed Hint hotter bargains nro to be found than at any other place lu tho county. Jan I'll rpiIE ORANGEVILLE MANUFAC- TURING COMPANY. MANUrAnUllEKS OF AGRICULTURAL IM PLEMENT8 of tlio most Approved Patterns, mill ttcnrlnp;, JoblWiif,', ninl Cahltiig.s or all dcscrlptlom. DEALERS IN General Mereliautllso, Lumber, ORANGEVILLE, PA. Wo would announce to tho public In general that wo liavo token tho well known Agricultur al Works ol this placo and shall make It ouralm lo mauutacluro Miht Class Agricultural Imple ment), equal lotuiy other mnkeis In tlio Slate, such as Tliicsliins DlncliiiicH, Both Lover nnd Tread Power, I'lows or every Dosci lpUon, amoug which will bo tho celebrated KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO, acknowledged by all to be tho best plow extant lor tho lariner. Also tho CliiiniDlon, .Sterns' Vatent nnd Tito Dlo'ntrosc, ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS, Cnlllvalory, Iron KctflcN, and Castings of eivery description. Wo shall use nono but tlio best matorlals nud employ nouo lint competent ami experienced mechanics anu our prices win compnio lavorably with any other manufacture eis. Couutrv Produce. Lumber. Old Iron, taken In exchanco. Woalsolmvoa store In connection with our Agricultural WoikM, wliein may bo louud n full assortment or MERCHANDISE which will bo sold at small piollts. Glvo nan call bcloro puiebnslug elsewhere nnd wo guar- anieo saiisinciiou. mirch2li'7-ly. Hotels. rpHE ESPY HOTEL. ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY', PA. Tho undersigned would Inlorra tho travelling public Hint ho has taken tho above named estab lishment and thoroughly retll.ted tho same lor tlio pcifect.couvenlcnceof his guests. Ills larder will bo stocked with tbo bent too market ntlords. The cholcestllquors, wines aud clgarsalways to ou louuu ill ins uar. WILLIAM PETTIT. Espy, Pa ,LJ. would nnnouucolotho clllzcusof Blooms burg and vlelnlly. Unit ho bu. JustreceivedaluU WALL PAPER, WINDOW SHADES, F1XTU11ES, COUPS, TASSELS, nud all other goods lu Is lino of business. All I bo newest midmost approved patterns of thu nay aro always 10 uo louuu in insesinmifluineni. juar.a, b'j-ir -umu ai. ueiow juaruct. BAUGH'S Eaw Bone Superior OF LIME. Standard highly Improved und warranted. Prico, $15,00 per 2,000 lbs., Cash. 43-Now Works now lu operallon.-ca WNcw Mnlcrlnl used lu iiiaiiiifiicturlng.tra 'J'lic fire vhlrh thitrotml ow war It on (Ac W (J J l" II, IMIIH I, UHly I It III UI 1112 llllllj. Wo warinnt tho standard ol our Raw Bono rnikspnuie 10 uo oi n ingiier grailo limn belore No eoiislBUincnts will bo made under uny cli cumstatices. It is not certain wo can conlluuo to soil at our mcbcut icuuceu prico cuing to Inc- tu(tnce in );uw Material, 4-Wo thank our customera nnd frloods geneiaiiy ior uicir continued irado nnd lu eieasett urdeis, Wo cnu also furnish our GROUND RAW BONE WARRANTED PURE, At $15,00 per 2,000 JIh., cash. Oideis for full trndo uru requested to bo to lu us caily us imsslble. HAUair&BONH, No. 20k'outh Delawnro Ave.. Philadelphia. July 10-aiu rr.llDENTIAI, t'AMl'AIIl.V. UAlW.CAI'lii A 'lOUCIlKS, Bend for iLLtiHTiiATEn Cm cvi.au and 1'iiH'K I.isr, CUNNINQIIAM A HILL, MANUFACTUIIKISS, No. 201 Cliurclt Street I'lIII.ADKI.l'llIA. Juno '.'I, l7Mmos. BLOOMSBTJRG, PA., FRIDAY, OCTOBEiniJl87 Poetical. Ilrnst oT i:ilcllicli:i, RY JOHN HAY. I'll tell tho story, kissing This whllo hnnd for my pains, No sweet heatl, no f.ilscr E'er llllcd such fine bluu veliw. I'll slug n song of tmo love, My Mlinlitivirl to you j Otnlrarltf contlttrtli This rulo Is only true, Tho happiest of all lovers WVis Ernst of Edclshclm i And why ho was tho happiest, I'll tell yon In my lliymo, Ono summer night ho waudcied Within n lonely ulado, Aud, couched In moss nnd moonlight, Ho found n sleeping maid. Tho stars of midnight sifted Abovo her sands of gold i Bho seemed a slumbering slaluo, Bofilrnnd vihllo nud cold, Fair nnd whllo nud rold i.lio l.iy Beneath tho starry bUIos i Rosy was her wnklug Beucalh tlio Hitter's eyes. Ho won her drowsy fancy, Ho bore her lo his towers, And swift with love and laughter Flow morning's purplo houri, Bui when tho thickening sunbeams Had drunk tho Kloainlii;; dew, A misty cloud of sorrow Swept o'er her oyes' deep blue. Sho hung upon tho Ritter's nock, Sho wept with love nud pain, Bho showered her swcot warm kisses Llko fragrant summer rain. "I am no Christ Ian soul," sho nobbcJ, As lu Ids arms sho lay ; "I'm half tlio day a wonvm, A sorpc nt li nlf tbo day. "And when from yonder boll-tower Rings out tho noon-day chime, I'aiowell I FaroTColl forever, Sir Ernst of Edolshelm 1" "Ah! notfatoweli forever 1" Tho Hitter wildly cried, "I will bo saved or lost with thoo, My lovely WUI-Brldo 1',' Loud from tho lordly bell-tower Rang out tho noon of day, Aud Irom tho bower of roses A serpent slid away. But when tlio mid watch moonlight Was shimmering through tho grovo, Ho clasped his brldo thrlce-dowerod With beauty aud with lovo. Tho happiest or all lovers Was Ernst of Edclshclm, Ills truo lovo was a serpent Only half tho tliuo ! icribner's or October, Miscellaneous. Tin: iii:cT0i. or iuvinutox. H' ESSIE B. CIIEESBORO. Tlio rector of Rtvington sat In hU study. Ho was a vcnorablo-loolciiif; man, on whoso palo faco somo tloop sor row had loft Its tract). As ho sat lean ing thoughtfully back iu his chair, his dark eyes fixed on tho glowltig coals in tho gralo,his countenatico wore a' troub led, anxious oxpression. lio was not alono ; his daughter, a girl of eighteen, wa3 with him, and her face, too, was clouded with sadness. As sho tossed back her bright curls, and aised iicr oyes lovingly and trustingly to her father, who had so tenderly sup- lied her mother's placo, proving that men, too, havo a deep fount of tender ness in their natures, which, at times, can even bomatcnal; tho parent's heart smoto him for tlio pain lio was Inflict "g. But tno lector of Rtvington never paused when ho had a duty to perform; however painful that duty was, ho walked up untliuchingiy to it, oven as tho bravo soldier walks up unllinchlng ly lo tho I'utmrm'ti mouth, Turning his sad oyes on his daughter, ho said. "My child, you know that your hap piness is as dcar,ovon dearer to mo than my life, and I cannot willingly consent to your throwing it ttway." "Yes, father," sho said, wlilio tho tears gathered lu her eyes, and fell slowly down in great drops on her lap, I know how tenderly you lovo me, how you havo been father, mother, nurso, and friend to mo, throwing only sunshino around my way, and shield ing mo from ovcry sorrow, and" 'Yes, yes, my child," interrupted tho rector, with emotion, "and will con- tintio lo do so, if you will only permit me. My child, my child, I cannot stand quietly by and seo you throw thojowel happiness away, and not put fortli my hands to stay you, my voico to implore you." His tones woro full of emotion, whllo Ids framo troinbled wiUi tho intensity of his feelings. "My child," ho continued, "If over a parent's heart Is stirred to Its deepest dopths, It Is when ho sees tho daughter ho has tenderly nurtured link her fato with that of a drunkard. I cannot stand by aud seo thissacrlllco without crying out, 'My God, my God, glvo mo strength to bar out from my homo this terriblo evil; glvo mo tho power to shield and to savo my chlkl from this gigantic misery a misery so deqp that uo plummet can sound its depths Its fearful depths." Alice Carington's faco grow deadly palo as her futherspako, and sho cried out, In tones of agony, "O, father, spare mo all this j I havo not tho strength to send from mo tho only matt I lovo savo my father. It Isa dreary thing, dear father, fur a woman to tear out from her heart tho lovo of her girlhood and her womanhood, and to walk forovcrmoro alone. How cm my lips over say to tho maul love, 'Go I cannot marry you.' " "My child, you must," "I lovo him, father."' "Tear your lovo out of your heart, before It rends your hoart," lio said bit tcrly. "O, father," she moaned. "Bettor thut, jny child, than hug an affection which can firing you only sor row u grief whoso talon claws will rend apart your very body and soul. Alico, Alico, you know not what It Is to bo a drunkard's wife," ''I will roform him aftor wo aro innr ried,"sho said, oagorly. "Roform him tlrst, and marry him afterwards, my daughter j but it woman sadly overrates her strength when sho marries a drunkard to reform him." "Goorgo Granville lovos mo, father ; nnd you know wlioro tlicrd Is lovo on tkolhusband's part.tliorols iniluoncoon that of tho wlfo." Tho rector shook his heatl' Badly, and implied! "My child, whero tho vlcoa of mon aro confirmed, women can po?soss very llttlo inlluonco over them. I know that your Bonsltlvo heart shrinks back af frighted atthoidoa of being iidriinkatd'a wlfo : wlMi your ignoraneo of men, you think that lovo can accomplish miracles with them, and that tho drunken lover will proyo rt sober husband. Ah I my child, liifiny n poor, foolish woman has wrecked her hopes of happiness on Just Btich a fallacy ns this." Tho tears Uhat had beon slowly fall ing from tho girl's oyes, now carao down In torrents. 'Sho laid her head on tlio tablo bosldo her, nnd Bobbed pas sionately. Her father was prepared to seo her griovo, but ho did notnnticipalo so wild n storm of grief ns this. Ho know that his child loved, with all tho ardor of her till'ecllonato naturo, tho man who had sought her in marriage. Ho was handaomo, intelligent and ainlablo; but ond terriblo falling ovor shadowed theso qualities ; ho was a drunkard. Ho could plunge a woman Into misery, but ho could add nothing to her happiness. And whilo tho girl wept, tho rector of Rivlngton sat with his sad eyes fixed upon her. Ho know that ho could glvo her no comfort : ho might oven seem, in her eyes, llko tho cruel destroyer of her peace ; but Willi tho bitter romcm branco of tho past still gnawing at his heart, ho felt that ho had a stern duty to perform, and, with tho help of his heavenly Father, perform it ho would. Ho walled until hor passlonato grief had spent itself; thon lio approached her, and pirtlng asldo her curls, kissed her lovingly on her wot cheek. Ho drow her to rt chair near him, and said, with deop emotion thrilling In his tones : "My chlld,lotmotoll you tho history of a man's llfo and a woman's death, aud then answor mo, if I do any wrong in crying out from tlio very dopths of my heart, 'My Fathor In heaven, savo my child, my precious child, from tho doom of tho drunkard's wife' '' Alice Caringtou looked witli wonder ing oyes at her father ; sho had nover scon him so deeply moved, and thcro was a tono of agonized patho3 iu his voico that told of bouio hidden woo. Tlio rector of Rtvington leaned back In his armchair, and closed his eyes for a moment, as if looking inwardly. His faco was palo, and it ovidently cost him a pninful effort to unearth tho sad story 1 1, I l, .1 innn I : ,i nn i a i , UlUl, UlUl IIUUIl UULlUll BU lUIlt .lit iillllll, opening liis oyos nnd fixing Uioni on tho flro with that peculiar gazo which wo S'.)iucHrac3 seo In tlio eyes of those who aro exploring tho dim recesses of the past, tho rector commenced, In low, earnest tones, his story, whilo his daufilitcr fixed her mournful eyes on her father a3 ho thus spoko : "Clarence Mcdway was tho son of an English gentlloman, a man of wealth, culturo and refinement. Ho gavo his childrenovery ndvantago which inonoy could bestow.and his daughters aud his sons, with ono exception, grow up all that thomost loving parents could wish But this ono, this boy Clarcnco, was a wild, dissipated fellow, plunging into shameful excesses, and wasting tliopro- clous hours of youth In tho haunts of folly and tho homes of crime. Ho gavo his parents many an anxious hour, as such boy always do; fortunate, most fortunato was it for them that they slept tho quiet sleep of tho gravo before this boy, dishonored and degraded, brought untold misery to tlio hearts that loved him. Tho rector's voico trembled with emotion, but recovering himsolf, ho continued: "This boy, tenderly beloved by his parents, and who had been so carefully reared, grew from bad to worso ; and when ho reached man's estate, lio was a confirmed drunkard." "There lived on tho next placo to Medway Manor, a lovely girl, namod iMIco Richmond, whom Clarcnco Med way loved. Sho was young, younger by year than you, my daughter, for she was only soventeen. Sho was n sweet, ilovo-llk.o girl, gontlo and loving, tho idol of her parents and fricn(ls,and rich in every blessing that mado lifo dosira bio. Thcro never had been a sorrow on her heart; and no minor nolo walled through tho songs that sho sung. Oh, that so fair a life should havo been so cruelly blasted, blasted, too, by tho man to whom she had given tho price less gift of her young affections. "Clarence Medway sought iicr iu marriage. Ho hid from Iicr ills body and soul destroying voico ; sho know not that tho man who breathed passion ato lovo vows in her cars, was an habi tual drunkard. Sho had heard him called 'wild,' and in her girlish fond iitsi, her girlish ignoraneo, sho thought sho could tamo him down, and mako him a quiet, sober, domestic husband. Hor parents, howovor, knew that sho was about to peril her happiness, and expostulated with her, my daughtor, oven ns I havo expostulated with you. But sho could not seo tho great, black, frowning rock standing out iu what seemed n smiling; sho know not how, on that rock, tho rock of intern poranco, her fairest hopes would stiller a cruel shipwreck. Whllo tlio paronts wero expostulating, tho lover was urg. ing, and, ono stormy night, Alico Rich mond, taking her destiny in her own hands, stolo forth from her happy homo and married Clarcnco Medway." Tho rector of Itlvlngton nroso from his scat and hastily paced tho floor. Ho stopped in front of his daughthor, who was watched lilm with end, anxious gn.e, and said, "Thcro tiro somo memories which Bit llko hideous nightmares upon tlio hoart, and that wo can only hear by God's holp ; such is tho memory of what 1 am now tolling you." Again ho took his seat. It was ovi dent that nothing but auovcrmastcrlng senso of duty mado tho father conlldo this story lo his daughter's hooping. "Well, they wero married, this hap py young girl and this drunken young 00L. trian. Tho fatal step was taken, taken by hor witli Lovo nnd Faith singing Bwcfct songs in her trusting heart. It took hor somo timo to disvovor what an error sho had mado ; how sho hnd burled overyjoy ; how sho now stood oh tho dosolato shores of a Bad reality, far away from tho peaceful pleasures of tlio old homo that sho iiad forsaken. What sho Buffered as tlio hldoousknowl- edgo brokoupon hor, nono savo liorsolf could toll. Still sho loved, and trusted, nnd hopod, prayed ; hutlho dark clouds grow moro lowering, tho moro deeply hor husband drank. "Ono yoar passed by, a year of mis ery to tiio drunknrd's young wlfo, nnd aswcol child camo to gladden hor young hoart. Thon camo, when this baby was only n fow months old, n second so tor- riblo that I can scarcely toll It to you. For weoks.CIarenco Medway had drank deeply, until reasdn leaving its throno lio grow mad, yea, mad as a lunatic chained In Bedlam. Raving and dan gerous, his brain on flro with tno nc cursed stuff lio had been drinking, ho was carrlod homo from a low den to tho young wifo whoso llfo ho had mado miserable For days, that dovolcd wlfo hovered over his bed ; shocked at his situation, crushed to tho very earth by grlof, sho yet clung to tho frantic maniac to whom sho was chain ed by matrimony. Ho did not recog- nizo her as sho bent over him ; ho did not know who it was that looked into iii3 wild oyo3 with pity but not fear. For days and nights that loving woman watched and wept, as sho heard tho madman's ravings, nnd saw his fingers point to Imaginary spiders which his distempered fancy saw on tho wall. "Ono night, when tho walciicrs, all savo one, tho loving wife, had with drawn for a fow moments into a distant room, Claranco Medway leaped from tho bed, and seizing a loaded gun, which stood unobserved in a closet, loveled it at his wife and shot her doad dead. Oh ! my God, sho died, shot to tho heart by tho monster sho called husband I" Largo drops of agony stooti on tho rector's brow, and ho covered his faco with liis hands ; when ho raised them again, liis daughter started back, for lio was ashen pale, nnd liis lips trembled with emotion. But ho went on with his story ; ho had nerved himself to tlio task ; thcro was too mucli at stako to ceaso now, oven Ills daughter's hnppl- ness. ''This dreadful act, dono in a lit of drunken madness, restored him to his senses. Ho throw himself on tho ground wildly, nnd called upon tho dead wlfo who had loved him so ten derly and borno so patiently with him. But too Into, too lato ! tho puro spirit had winged its flight abovo, nnd tho drunknrd's wifo found rest and poaco in heaven. Long and loud wails Iwcnt up from that stricken man's heart ; ho kissed frantically tho palo cheeks ; ho Implored forglvonoss for tho past, and for this dreadful deed ; but, though tho wan lips smiled on, thoy mado no answor. O, my God, my God I" cried tho rector, "I thank theo that thou didst, at length, pour pcaco into this miscrablo man's heart, for nowhero could lio havo found It but in thee. "It was decreed that ho Bliouid drink moro deeply of tho cup of suffering, When tho fearful deed was bruited abroad, Clarcnco Medway was arrested and thrown into prison. During tlioso long and weary days of his imprison ment and trial, deprived of tho accurs ed liquor that mado him n bruto,a mad man and a murderer, ho camo into tho full possession of his sonses. Then liis oyes wero opened, and ho saw what a bitter wrong tho drunkard docs not on ly himself, but nil who havo tho mis fortuno to lovo him. Sitting in tho soli- tudo of Ids coll, as memory carried him back to liis early lifo, lio wept to Ihluk what ho was, aud what ho might havo been ; ho had sold tho proud birthright of liis manhood for a miscrablo mess of pottago. Overwhelmed with grief for tho loss of his wife ; crushed by the fearful crlmo lio had committed ; deeply hu miilatcd by his painful position, Clar cnco Medway passed through his trial for tho murder of tiio 'Oman ho had sworn to protect. I car ,iot go over tho distressing details of ihat proceeding, when tho lifo of this unfortunato man hung trembling between tlmo and cter nity. On tlio day tho verdict was to bo doliverd, tho liallsof Justico wcrocrowd ed; silont tho criminal sat, awaiting tho words that wero to consign him to lifo or death. Thoy camo, and lio stood up lo receive his sentenco, his cars hoard tho dreadful words, 'Hung by tho neck until dead.' Then all grow black, black as midnight, and ho was lod away from tlio room. All tills whllo tho girl had refralnod from speaking, but theso words seemod to electrify her, and sho caught her father's . hand convulsively and said. "Hung 1 did thoy hang him "Ho walked from tho droary scono lu tlio court room, my child, to hh coll in tho prison, nnd prepared to meet his Ignominious fato. In vain his frionds strovo to obtain a pardon ; petitions wero sent to thoso In authority, but thcro was no pity for tho miscrablo wretch who had murdorod Ills wlfo In n lit of drunken dolirium. Time woro on, and tlio day of oxocu Hon arrived ; lio had prossod his swoot child to his bosom for tho last tlmo, nud rained tears of sorrow on Its young head, His friends had tnken a sad nnd solemn farowoll of him, nnd iw all that was left for him to do, was to mount tlio scaffold and glvo his llfo for that precious llfo lio had taken." Tho rector slitidderotl, nnd his thin fingers grasped nervously tlio hnnd of his daughter, that lay on his lap. "It was a lovelytlay, full of halm ami beauty, when a gloomy procession moved from thu prison, 'i'lio gaiiow was reached and tho hangman stood ready lo usher tho soul into otornlty. Thcro was n broathlesi sllonco; tho crowd stood around, somo pitying tho poor wrotch who tlio domon drink had brought to tills fearful ond. Suddonly there was a loud clattering of horses' foot, nnd u shout went up-" DEM. - - VOL. XXXVI NO. 34, Alico prcsssed her father's hand as sho oxclalmod "Thank hcavon, ho waasavod I" "A shout wont up," ropcated tho rec lor, 'A pardon 1 n pardon 1' nnd tho man, with a ropo almost nrounu jus neck, overcomo by his fcolings, foil fainting to the ground. Ho was re moved by his friends from tho scone, nnd in n quiet homo they nursed him lovingly nud forgivingly through tho long 111 of Illness Hint ensued. Thoy nflnrnil nn rnnrnnnli fnrlhnv wnll know uttered no reproach, for uioy won Know that liis poor heart was torturod by tlio keenest of ull roproachos, self reproach When ho recovered, taking his precious child with him, ho left tlio beautiful shores of England forever, "Ho selected a Bocludod village In America for his homo, nnd tho graco of God having visited Ills heart, lio studied for tlio ministry, and was admitted lo orders. On ono subject for thoy know not his fearful history tho pcoplo among whom ho lived, called him cra zy ; nud Hint was tlio subject of tem perance. His heart was stirred to its depths, when ho saw tlio monster Drink raging through tho great Republic, blnsling with his fiery breath tlio sweot flowers of homo ; laying bright hopes low ; breaking hearts, aud destroying reputations ; killing tho body aud mur dering tho soul. This man weut forth tho sworn champion of tcmpcranco, im ploring mon, for tho sako of tho God who mado them, for tho sako of tho frionds wiio loved then), and for tholr own sakes, to break tho manacles that mado them slaves, slaves of tho most cruel master under whom poor human ity over served. "It is this sad history, my child, that comes to mo in warning tones, and says, 'Savo your daughter, whllo yet you may, from tho miscrablo fato of tho drunkard's wlfo, lest sho, too, sliaro tho doom of Alice Medway." Tho palo faco of Alico Carington grow still paler, and sho asked, in low, eager tones, "My father, who was Clarence Med way V" For ono moment, tho rector of Riv lngton looked at his daughter ; then ho said, in tonc3 whose touching pathos sho novor forgot, "Your father, my child, your poor father. Sho sprang from her scat ; sho throw her arms arodnd her poor father's neck, and sobbed out passionately ; "God pity you, my poor, stricken fa ther." "Ho has pitied me, my child, ovon as you pity me." Anu tho father and daughter sobbed aloud as thoy drow nearer to each other Iu deepest sympathy nnd tender lovo. Long years havo passed sinco tho rec tor of Rivlngton sat In his qulol study and told this sad story of his llfo to his young daughter. No longer young Al ice Carington sits thoro alono ; for her father has gono lo h is eternal rest. Her mother's history sank deeply Into her heart, as sho choso to llvo single, rnth- or than to becomo a drunkard's wife. Serono nnd happy, her days pass In deeds of gentio merey, and sho sheds around her tho precious perfumo of a pious llfo. Sho has folded tlio ; wings of silotico over her early lovo ; tho r0' mcmbranco of it never disquiets her, and she daily thanks heaven for giving her strength to put away from her lips tho glittering cup held by Love, iu whoso depths wero conccalid tho dead ly poison of despair. iuen or America, uod has given us goodly heritage ; majestic rivers, lofty mountains, vast forests, a balmy tilmo, and a fruitful soil. Somo flowers of Eden wo still do luhorlt. But tho trull of the serpent Is over thorn all," This serpent Is Intemperance, that Is trailing its hateful length through this fair domain, crushing, as it goes, tho beautiful buds of homo, withering hopes, aud destroying body nnd soul. This serpent, it is that clings to us in our grand march onward, to stand sido by sido with our sister nations, their compeer in nil savo vears. xruiy, it is tlmo ror the daughters oi America to protest, when her sons aro selling their birthright for a mess of oltago, Thcro is an old fellow in Now Haran shiro who, whatover his condition, never loses tho senso of his dignity Uno warm summor'a day ho was seated on tho top of nstago coach which was slowly wending its way over tlio sandy roads abovo Concord. Frequont application to his pocket flask had ren dered his position somewhat unsteady, and nt last a sudden Jolt tumbled him off Into tho sand by tho roadsido. Tho driver stopped, and with aid from tho passengers, lio was nt last set up again in tho coach, between two other men who wero to guard against a rccurrcnco of such an nccldcnt. Our hero looked very solemn for n milo or two, without any remark, and then spoke: "I shay, drlvor, wo had a protty bad upshot ' "Upsetl wo haven't upsot," repuoti tho driver, a lUtlo hurt at tho sugges tlon. "Yes we did upshot I I shay wo did upshet! I'll leave it to this geminel man If wo didn't upshot." Tlio umpire decided at oneo against him Tlio solemn look camo back to his face. Ho meditated boiuo minutes, nnd thou gravoly responded : "I bhay, driver, if 1 had Known wo dldn 't upMiot Iwouuwt 'ergol off," Bud Dodlmrton wiw ono day waiUlug ilowu mm tl Ktreet, i.oniion, wiieu a nor rnwintr aciiuaintttiii'o rusneu irom mo on noslto fiidoof wav.and cxiuccsud crcat delight nt meeting him, "for, said ho "l am wonucriuuy in wuut oi a, fiilnoa." Dodlngtou wlnccd.uiul taking out ids purso siiowcu mat iiu nun no more limn half n guinea "A thousand thanks I" exclaimed tho licrsocutor hair forcing tho coin from bo noalli tho ownor's fingers, "that will do vory well for tho present." Whon thoy nail partoei tno impuuout norroworiurn eel illicit to uouiugiuii, saying : "By-tho-byo, when will you pay mo that hair guinea v "Pav vou I what do you moan ?" "Why, J Intended to borrow a guinea of vou. und havo only not half: hut I'm not in any hurry for tlio other. Nnino , your own tlmo only pray hoop it," Ouo inch, (twolvo lines or Hi 0'iulvnluiit lu Nonpareil typo) ono or twolnsortloiii,J1.50 throe insertions, 82,011 HPACIi. IM. 2m. Sw. 0 IV, Ono Inch WM 11,00 11,01 J1.00 110.00 Two Inches 8.W 6.00 7,'W ,() Urn) Throo inches 6,(0 1,00 u,oo liiri is uu Four Inches 7,iw u,oo ll,ii) 17,01 zy) (limner coluruu 10,00 12,00 H.oo sum 80.00 Half column 13.00 ls,oo so,to moo moo OUO COlUtnD, 30,01) 80,00 40,00 C0,00 lUO.OJ Exccutor'n or Administrator' Notice, $7,00 Auditor'! or Assignee)'! Notlco, 2Jfi. Local noticed, twenty cents a lino. Cards In the) "Business niroctory" eolnmn. $2,oo per year for tlio first two linos, nnd tl OOfor ooch luldUlonnl lino. Humorous. A nnrotiTEit writinir un n wreck nt enn tintfl flint r r tua tlinti 1IiIIaah fortunatcs bit tho dust. They nlludo to bnld-hcntlod men in Colorado as "persons with tholr heads abovo timber lino." A Philadelphia nancr savs that tho coursoofn certain Now York Jour nal "is enough to mnko a licit stnllo." A Cincinnati wifo lofc her inn hand's hoard, DUt took tllO 1)0(1 With l:or. ji0 ,3 pUZZcj t0 know how to word it locftl nollco of warniiig to prospcctlvo creditors. Tins is a personal item in tho most approved stylo of tiio Western papers : jacoDy iiumganincr mow into tno muzzlo of his gun to soo if It was loaded. it was. 1 uuerai on Hunuay." Miss Lottie Grant, who wolchs four hundred nnd cichty-two pounds. Is on exhibition nt n western fair, and n crazy paragraphist says thatthotigh sho doos not hold ofllco, her position lsn fat ono. A NEW dish is grapo!cavo3 fried in an egg batter. It is called n Frencli dish, and Is imported from Lako Mahopac Wo can't think of anything that would bo moro delicious than fried grapo leaves, unless it Is n circus poster on toast. A Milwauiceh paper tolls nhout a suit of clothes found at tlio foot of a Ireo from which tho occupant oppcared to havo been eliminated by a flash of light ning. A DuDUtiUE damsel, yountr. unas suming and pretty as a pink, recently entered a gin mill, kicked over a table, drow her "Colt's" on tho dispenser of liquids, and waltzed her parent out on his ear. The Griffin fGa.) JS'cws roports anew stylo of femalo regulator. A man went to work to set liis family to riirhts. aud accordingly whlppad his wlfo, his sis ter, una ins motiicr-in-iaw. anu at last accounts was looking for somo moro of tno lamiiy. A gentleman wa3 fretting about Uo loss of an overcoat and umbrella tint had been stolen from liis hall, aud petu lantly said, "Bosides, it's such n wasto of tho articles, for tho thief li pretty suro to go nt last whero ho will neod neither oi tnom." A seasonable theatrical nrorrrammo for a hot night would bo tho f jllowinc: Tho performance will eommnco with "uool as u cucumocr," a.ier which Tho sea of Ice." to cone udo with "Nothing to Wear." Tho orchestra wju occasionally introduce somo fresh air. They say that tho Wabash River is so low that tho fish are compelled to stand on their heads to got water sufficient to moisten tholr gills. Tho Inhabitants walk up and down tho river bed and pull fish ns thoy do onions. An auctioneer writinir a letter ot ad- vlco to a young friend, closed up with tno roiiowinc information : "Tho ovu that you do through lifo will comoback to piaguo you on tno uay oi your death. or if stormy, on tho first day thereaf ter.'' According to tlio Danbury Jfews a young man of that town has just mado tno utscovery mat no marrieu a leit handed woman. All his buttons nro sowed on tho wrong sido. Ho manages to got aioiigas lar as too rcuoi tno gar ments aro concerned, but whon ho dons a clean shirt lie lias to lay down on his back and lash his right hand to tho bed post, no is airaiu no win havo to uso shoo-strings. A Cincinnati youth, guided by tlio ndvico of a fortuno-tcllcr, sought to mako n girl lovo him by moans of elec tricity working from under her chair. When tho tlmo camo sho sprang into tlio nir about thrco foot, and when sho camo down sho lauded in her lover's hair and took nbout two handfuls thcro from, and then told him that sho hated him. No match. One of tho latest agricultural notions In Massachusetts is planting whisky in barrels. Stato constables dug up ono of tlio receptacles at Chicopeo Falls tho other day, finding it buried two feet un der tlio ground. It was too bad to in terfere with tho experiment, but wo don't bcllovo tho stuff would havo grown worth a cent. The Danbury (Connecticut) Xews says: "A North slreot mail went off Saturday noon for a half day of fishing. wncn no returned no nau warned thir teen miles, lost a $15 watch, sprained his thumb, spoiled n $11 pair of pants, by sitting down on his luncheon, and caught a four-pound mud turtle. Uo got back in tlmo to help tho doctor cut from his oldest boys loot ono or tno sovcral fish hooks- ho had left at home." At ono of tho schools In Cornwall. England, tho Inspectors asked tho chit dren if thoy could quoto in reply any text ot bcripturo which ioruauo a man havinS two wives. Ono of tho children sagely quoted in reply tho text, "No man can servo two masters." An unfortunato peddler fell into the river at Chicago, nnd was rescued, b a after walking somo distance suddenly lost his strength, and oxpired before iw slstaueo could bo procured. An Inlel'l gent jury of American citizens Investi gated tho case, and astonished tho Cum- nor with ino vertuct, "Accitieniit'iy drowned.'' Somebody having apph 'to an edi tor for a method by which no mlt-h' euro his daughter of her partiality Uf young gentlemen, is iciiuuy iniormen mat moro aro soverai motnous oi in form. Ono way is to skin tho young person : another is to put her in a woi and drop a fow loads of gravel on her head; another is to tie nor anitios to an anvil aud upset her out of a boat. A bevy of youug ladles, while crose ing Mill Crook, at Salem, Cal., by moonlight, thought they observed u goose swimming in the creek, and ho gan polling it with stones, when they wero greatly astonished to hear tho aforesaid gooso exclaim : "Why can't you let a fellow alono 1 I ulu't bother In' you folks any." A shout tlmo since a ma iu thU county was bitten by n dog, and ns soon as no roeovereti irom tno irignt no (in- dared that ho would kill tho anlm tl 'But tho dog Isn't mad," said tho own or. 'Man r siiouteti mo victim, t-xm- pcratlngly; 'what In tliundor has A got to bo mad about?" Ho evidently misconstrued mo explanation. Jones nnd Brown wero talMng Into ly of a young clergyman whoso pieach Ing thoy hnd hoard that day. "What do you think of him V" asked Brown, "1 think," said Jones, "ho did much better two yoars ago." "Why, lm didn't preach thon," said Brown. "Truo." mild Jones, "that Is what I mean." A philosophical KentiteUliin, win was tho envied possessor of ono thirl, whllo lying lu hod awaiting Its return from tho lino whero It was Hopping lu solitary grandeur, was startled by nn oxclamatlon from tlio better half of his bosom, to tho effect that "tho calf hud oaten It." to mis no repuoti, with un equanimity worthy of a better cause, "Them who hao, mujt hwo 1"