BATES OF ADVERTISING.
AND
One loch, (twelve lines or lis oqnlvalenl In
Nonpareil type) ono or twolnortlons,tI.6Q tureo
Insertions, J.0Q
srAcn.
One lnolj.....
Two lncncs..........
Threo inchea
Fonr Inches........
lu. 2M, u. fl
IV.
If L'ntisiiKU every friuay morning
...13.50 11.00 11,00
.... AH 6,00 7,00
.... 5,00 7,0Q 9,00
.... 7,00 9,00 11,00
. 10,00 12,00 14,00
,.i.H.0O HX) aiio
,.,.30,00 m,m toflO
11,00 1 10,00
9,00 18,(l
12.0U ISM)
17,00 25,10
20,01) HU.UI
80,00 .(,(
oo.oo loo.oo
,yjtI8COi.u.MniAn iiuibumu naAitTUK
count noosie, ntooMsnoiia, rA nv
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
editor And rnorniKTort.
quarter column..
Half column ,
Ono column
RTAAiilnr'a nr Administrator' Notice. 1.(10
crss -iffo Dsllan a Year payaUo In advance.
Auditor' or AsslgneoVs Notice, tifiO.
Local ndtlcca, twenty cents a line,
("Aril In the "Business TllrnctArr" mlnmn.
JOB PRINTING
VOLUME VI, - - NO, 31.
BLOOMSBUEG, PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 2,.18T2.
! ..inlhMn nvnfinliiil itrltti tinntfiftfctt flHlt
OOL. DEM. - VOL. XXXVI NO. 24,
(2.00 tier year for tUo first lwo lines, and 41.00 for
bf.Ul( .ii.tminli t rnniiiinnlilnrntMi.
each additional line.
Columbia County Official Directory,
r .(Jll '0"-Wlt.MAM UtWKtU ,,
. 7-...1,.. tt,&. nt'ini. tdA.nH. MON"
I j ... ....v. ........ , - ...
.1 J:', entrr Wim.iamson H.JAConr.
, lAuamnl JAMEO.llliYSON, J.
J -Aaiion Smith.
iMAinllBWITT.
r- wim.iamI,amow.
Miit.i Oyhuh IloiiMNfl, ItlltAM J,
WitirAMHiiArrEn,
vtcrk Wii.mam KnicicriAUtf,
r-tin r.K.i G. Munt-ti v.
Ri I ;il H.-.JJJHCTJ inAUui;imiiift,junri
1 1 WlJ'CI llliclldt Hl-CHARLES O. JJAllKLKY
y; 7 r Wrfrf-DIrcelors, H. II. MILLIES
in j ii,iwf.i. inoomsnurg. and joiiphoji
jj, pi. uu enwoou, eiiAiii.E3e,oririEii,nec-y.
Biooinsburg Official Directory,
ti.tbvrrt .'nnlftin rb. John A. FUNSTOM
' rcuwm. -mifiK L.JIAB. iv. x A Aiun,j 10
. 1 t v. I'1 shier.
ii 1,. II, Little, FrcsH., C, W. Millkb,
miljiiri JluMtnq nmt Riving Tind Auorta-
1V, 1 KrtllllK, III'.,,, d.ut ..iiiiinun,!..
ifcurj; it' "'' Anidiff I vml Association
Litowut l'rcsiucni, e;. u. uaiiklkv, oec ji
Oliurch Directory.
rnntiiYTnniAN cncncit.
:lrrV,ey Stnait Mitchell.
lit AYnfrrt 10j A. M.J H V. M.
Hi f.7ir.ti-9A. M,
fi- .1? (n7 Wednesday. 7r.M.
fiee! im pews unledj btrnngcrq wcl"
Klooiasburg Diroctory.
n II II GH Jait received and for salo nt the
V . ,'UlirAN Dlllrn.
CLOTUINO, Ac.
MjWJiNiiBiHi, jiorciiantTallor.Jiain
b. vo AincricnmiouRO.
MOUUIH, Morclmnt Tnllnr, over Jtnoeii
i '.a cjiirictloucry.oiiiiosllovadmansiur-
DKUCS, CHEMICALS, Ac.
i' I Ci'Z, rritijKlut and Apothecary, Main Et.
CLOCKS, WATCHES, AO.
u s WA (IK. dealer In Clocks. Watches and
.jr. dry, Main St., Just below tbo American
LiS I i-IItHHAUP, Watch and Clock maker
rMulbeaitcoruer Malnaud Iron fits.
( yrilCAllT, Watch and Clock tlaker.Mar
, i .eel, below Main,
UOOT3 AND SHOES.
ii KNORlt, Healer In ltoots and Bhoes. latest
, ml bffct hlyles, comer Main and Market
i ., lu tho old l'ost Olllcc.
UY KI.EIM, Manufactnrer nnd dealer In
iJ ilhucs, Uroccrles, etc., Main street,
Uloomsbiirir.
I'ltOFESSIONAL.
Y.. ii. C. IIOWKU, Burgeon IJcntUI, .Maliist.
) o llu1 Court House.
.11 WM. 11 HKllKlt. Hurceon and l'hvslclan.
imllce oer Ibu First National liiinU.
f 1IAKKLI1Y, Attiirney-at-Law. OUlco, Id
. ,. .nrln ExchaiiKolllock,ncarl)!0"KxcbaiiEe
" lLMcKHLVY.M. D..Buri:enn and l'hvslclan
, north hide Main fct., below Market,
I. UUTTClt. M. U. HurECon and l'liyslclau
, MaikilMicet,nbovo Main,
11. IIOIHSO.V. Allnrney-at.Law. Olllcollart-
......... i...., ,t.. .-I,.,
lltiscopai v;nuicu,
II. I'.VANS, M. 1)., Burgeon and l'hyslclan,
i uili sldo Main htreet, below Mnrkct,
!i A, b. TUKNKIl, I'liyBlelan and SurRenn, of-
1 1! t'ovir Kleim's liluu nioie, libicliuco ono
,r below ltev. 1). J. Waller.
MI1.LINEKY A FANCY GOODS.
rl.TKl'.MAN, Millinery and Fancy Coods,
, iMinslto Uplsconal Cliuich.Maln st,
I.lZZIi: IlAItKLUY, Milliner, llarasey
, ' .illiltiiK Main (.treet.
JULIA A. & HADK 1IAKKLKY, LadleS'
lis nnd Dress l'atternj, southeast corner
i ..I'd Wert sts.
MlHHFa IIA11MAN Millinery and Fancy
.. Main St., below American lloiike,
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
nijiuir.il. dv i. lii'iw. i viiir. pkhi t iiu
am fcirt'tit
MAIUt. Dry GoodH nud Notions, boutli-
f i -t corner Main and Iron fits.
1 x a WKUIt, Confectionery nnd linkery,
T I MAI.F. Mnmmoth Grocery, tlno Hro-
(tmrehtnctH.
I KKLVY. NKATj CO-iIenlpi-RlnDrr OnotlH.
Jl UrttltrlcH 1- nnr HnU Vltli. tnm Nil h.
ti. MIM.r.U linTM ilonlnru In llrv f .nmlu.
.'('inD8,(tc.,l!iilnht.
iriPCKTiLANEOUS.
O M PTlITt'l.r , n. i- . . .
v.'. ''.akcr. HlUve's 1 Icicle Main Htreel.
D ItOHIHNH.lInuorilealersecouddoorfrom
' I'orlhwtst corner Main and iron sis,
p I- THOHNTON, Wall l'a)icr.Wlnilnw (shades
Ii. J fliliirt s. ltuvert blo k. Main st.
P v.' t'OKKI.L. Fnrnltmo ltooms, tbreo fctory
"tk, Main Btrect, wi st of Market bt.
II 'i'WnxSTOPICl'liotOErnplicr, over llobhlno
11 il.jer's Htnre, Malusl,
I uVl!i.1 dealer In Meat, Tallow, etc., Client-
Imler rear oi American uouse.
5j.''EL JACOI1Y, Marlilo and llrown Blono
l,'rk, Kas llloontkburis.llcrwlck road.
V ' I-Aflll, dealer In fnmltnre.lninks, ccder
Ul(iw ware, near tho Forks iinti.i.
r!.T,BIiI,LF.J,AN Acentfcr Munson's Coprer
li'Vmmlarl.luhtuli.Kllod.
f 'T',TF'l'-Olue Maker, and Whlto and Fancy
v.. itiiuer.ricoltown.
0yK KOOKB.niid blank NOTED, with or with-
Catawissa.
H f,.,"i-V'T.',i!A.N) Merchant Tailor, BecoudBt.
i'.i.ouwhs' llnJluliiB.
in , i- rr,. rrTTr rt 77 . . . . .
Ik.. Kumimn, mirgeon anu rnyslc an
" K,'Qiid Ht below Ma In.
Gli'iK"T KLINi:,dryi,'oods,i:rocerles(
"Kftralmeichaudlso, Main Blreot
, and
J r;,Km?u'"1, "CnttawUsa House," NorlU
"-orner Main and Bccoud Btrcots.
L crl;"',E.n' llHlnrd Baloor7,"bjbtelrs, and Ice
M CIWUU muill Rl
b;Jl,Iil?I1;STl,,lealer.ln0ene','lMc'''l''bdli.e
i'ry OnodB. Urocerlea o.
Sba?VV.ANA 'Vk IIoU1' Koslcn".
oa htrut P r,S0U 1 COruer Mul " nml
"iii Attorney hi law, juaiu Bt,
Light Street.
II. e,BAciToltn,;?,:hcelwrlellla' nl aoot
J0l'ooUAa'n0aHh?tsMlllinfa!tUrer,lnd doaler l''
2iu:2l,rdn?i1es.ln il0'"" ud Tlu wate ln
'''bralniT! Miller, and dealer In all kinds oi
Espy.
Buck Horn.
M
AO.W. II. PHOfcMAKKIt. dealers in drr
coods, Brocolcrles and general morchandse
Orangcvillo Directory,
1 II. HF.imtNU A DnOTIIKIt.Carpontcrsand
ly. iiuiiucrs, iiiiuji St., uuiuw l inc. m
T)UICIC HOTEL and relreshment Saloon, by
X ivour it iiuiirjr cur.ui iiiuiii uuu I JUVRI,
DTI. O. A. MLGAliaEL.riiyslclan nmtSurecon
Main st,, next door to Good's Hotel,
DAVID IIEltlUNO, Flour nnd Grist Mill, and
Denier In grain, Mill Btreet.
JAMEH II. IIAIIMAN, Cabinet Maker and Un
dertaker. Main Bt., below 1'lno.
SCIIUYLICH & CO., Iron fonnrtnrs.MachlnlsU
and Mnnufacluicrs of plows, Mill Bt.
SAMUKL BHAItl'LESH, Maker of thelloyhurst
Grain Cradle. Main Bt.
"tTTILTJAM I)i:t,ONO Bltocinakcrauil manufac-
1 1 lin er or jirlck, Mill HI., west or rino
Philadelphia Directory.
YAlNAVlUGH'r A CO,
WHOLEBALK GHOCLItS,
N, K. Corner Bccond and Arch Btrcels,
rinr.ADEM'iiIA,
Dealers In
TEAB, BYItUI'S, COFFI3E, BITGAH, MOLABSE8
men, srtcES, ni cai;d boiia, ic, &c.
4i0rdcrs will receive prompt attention,
may lO.CT-tf.
H
AltVEY Ii. WALKER,
WITH
M15AK, SOHUOPP A CO.,
iMi-or.TKRs ANDJonnnnsop
CHINA, OLASB AND QUEENSWAKE,
No. 108 NOltTH SECONDST.,
rillLADELl'IIIA.
iTOrlEliial assorted packages of (luecnswaro
cou.-ituuiiv uii nauu.
leb23'72-tf.
Business Cards.
g II. LITTLE,
' ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Oillco rotirt-Houso Alley, below thu Oolum
bian Oillco, llloomsburg l'a,
Q B. BItOCKWAY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
m.ooMsiiuitci, pa,
a- OKfirn Court House Alley, ln tho Co-
Lothian building. Jan4,'67.
c.
W. MILLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
v.i.-.u vj-.u. i i iiiu.d jxuvjit ncmw uiu vui.uu-
iiian Oillco, I!ountlc8, liack-rny and reiiRlons
collectud, Illoomsbnre l'a. sep.'J0'C7
n.'ln,, A. ... l IT .H 1 ... 1 ...w IX,,. r-ATnu-
JOHN M. CLARK,
ATTOHNEx AT LAW.
OFFICE abovo llownr's Mloro. Main blrect.
llloomsburg;, l'a.
ROBERT F. CLARK, w
ATTORNEY AT L-W,
Ofllcft Ataln Hlrpfit lii.lnw llin Cnnrt ITnuso.
BloonisburB 1'eun'n,
13.
FRANK ZARR
ATTOltNEY AT LAW,
HLOOMSIlUIiO, 1A,
Oliko Willi J. G. Frecze.Hrower'H Illock.
Can bo consul led lu German or English.
inch'!tJ,72 tf
j"EW STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
1BAIA11 IIAUliMliUUU,
Main Rlreet one door abnv E. Memlenhall'B
KlDlO.
A largo assortment of HIovcr, Heators nnd
Kanges ennstitntly ou hand, and for bale at the
lowest rates.
Tlnn nc In all Its branches earefu lv atteuded In.
ind satlslactlnu guaranteed.
im worn oi nil mnus wnoiesaie ami retail, a
Mul Is requested.
Jnnl'71
jLOOMSBURO
1)1 A R R a V. MY ii II 11 a.
MAIN STI1KHT, 11KI.OW MAIIKET,
DLOOMBIIUItO, l'A.
Monuments, Tombs, Headstones, Ac. Work
neatly executed. Ouleis by mall will receive
special lit 1c lit I oil. N, H. Work delivered freool
charge. T, L. GUNTON, l'roprlclor.
octl3'71-lf. 1'. O. Box lOT.
B
AROAINS BARGAINS.
QUICK BALER ANTI BMAI.T. pnorlTB.
BAVE YOUU MONEY.
Goto
1IENUY YOST.
East llloomsburg, l'a., for all kinds of tho best
homo nnd city mado
a u a Si i t u it t. .
Trices reasonable and tho bert work done.
Jan 17i-tf
yULCAN WORKS,
DANVILLE PA.
WILLIAM! II. luVW,
Manufilclnrcr of Wroinrbt Iron lirldi-esi. Hollers.
Gasholders, Fireproof liullillugs. Wrought Iron
iiooiiug, itoouug e rnmcs, i looring and uoors,
Farm Gates and fencing, nlso Wiouglit Iron pip
ing, Hlncka and all kinds ofBmith Work, Ac.
ltenalra promptly attended to.
N.ll. Drnwliigsand Intimates burplled.
oelW'71-ly.
7ERNHARD STOIINEH
Won Id Inform bis friends nnd tho nnbllo that
bo has taken iiOdSCfchluu oi
TIE-IE OLD STJISTID,
In tho Kchaneo niock. so lomr occttnled bv lilm
and will carry ou the buslnesH ol a
FIRST. CLASS BAKERY,
Ho brings to tho business an experience ol ninny
years and assures tho community that ho will
lurnlsh tho bestof bread, cakes, lolls.blseult, Ac,
Iresh every day. He proposes also to keen on
baud n luigu and well assorted stock of
FINE CONFECTIONERY,
of all grndes. French candles nnd those of do
mestic, iniiniiracture.alwaystobehad.wholesalo
and retail at lowest rales. Adjolnlug tho llakery
and Confectionery Is a well established
RESTAURANT,
whero may bo found Alo nnd Lnger, nnd Hc
fieslmienlN. Ovstcrs in season nmt tlm vnrlmtu
little dillcui'h'S which siillthopubllctnslc, Theio
Is nlso n
FINE ICE CREAM SALOON,
over tho eouleclloncry storo, whero Indies nnd
gentlemen can obtain tho best of leo Cieaiu lu
season.
.l .iiuiuiii im: jiuMjiu i u&iuju is reiiu htttl
and no l ulus will bospniedlo cumiio batlslac
Hon. nprll0,'72-tl
N
OTIOE TO TEACHERS.
Tbeie will be a nubile examination of I rnrbr-rs
for thu town ol'llloomihurir lu thu o il Academy
on Hntuidny July mil, 1MJ commcucluc utio
ocloik A. M. Those Intending lo nppty for
r.i,iuia ,u mo uisuu't win piebeni. iiii'iiisoives
forcxaniluatiouat that Hue.
, 11. FltANK 5CA11I1,
Julyl2,lo72-at Kccietary.
BADGE'S
Raw Boue Sipetit PlisiMe
OF LIME, 1
Slnudnrd highly Improved nnd warranted.
Prlco, $15,00 per 2,000 lbs., Cash.
3Now Works now In opcratIon.-C
3-Ncw Material used 111 mauufaclurlug.lXa
The fire which destroyed our uwAi on the Wt fl
April, rnuicil only a Uhnmrury delay.
Wo warrant tho standard ol our Itaw llouo
l'bnsphata to be of n higher grade than before.
No eouslguuicuU will bo made under any cir
cumstances. It Is not certain wo can contlnuo to sellat our
present reduced price eudm to the Mltance in
Jiuw Mutiriid.
48-Wo llinulc our cuslomers nnd friends
geuetally for their continued trade nud In
creased ordeis.
Wo can also furultii our
GROUND RAW BONE
WAltltANTEI) 1'UnE,
. At $15,00 per 2,000 lbs,, cnsli.
Orders lor fall Irado nro icquested to bo tent
lunscarlynsiiokslblu.
IIAUailAFONH,
No, SOKouth Dclnwnto Ave., I'hUudcIpliln,
Miacollanoous.
D
ENTISTRY.
It. a. HOWEK. DF.NTIHT.
Itespcctrully offers his professional services to
tho ladles nnd santlcmen of llloon-isbnrunnd vl
elnlty. llo Is prepared to attend to all I bo varj.
ouH operations in me iiuo ni ills proiession, anu
Is provided with tho latest Improved 1'obcki,aii
i kktii woien win do inseriett nit roiu piatin
silver nnd rubber baso to look as well anthe na
oral teeth. Teeth extracted bv nil llio nowanJ
mostnpproved methods, and all operations on
the teeth cnrenlllvnnd nrnnnrlv nttonded to.
Residence and office a few doors alxive the
conn Jiotrse, samo siiio.
llloomsburg, Jan.1'71 ly
rpiIE GREAT MAGICAL
II A I II FORCER!
Will forco a bcnutlfnl fiet of Whiskers nr Mus
tache. In from two tn thrco months, on nnv per
son over twelve years old. It is ono of tho best
preparations to make tbo whiskers grow that
uver was known. One bottlo or it issnlllclont to
produce rt very strong benrd. It does not ln any
way stnlu nr injuro tho nkln. Try Itl It Is no
jiuuiuiig. iticu m cents per uome. Keni oy
mall post paid, lo any address, on receipt ol
price. Address WILLIAM O. WAGNER,
tinuuisvuie-.
aug.l 71-ly, Adams County, Pcnna
TNH RANOE AGENCY.
Wyoming jail.ooo
Uina 4,000,000
Fulton N. V, 400,000
North AmerKa E60,0
City .,.. 450,000
International M.Y 1,400,000
NlagatnN.Y 1,000.00
Merchants 810,000
Kprlugllohl 570,000
Farmers' Danvllle.N.Y BOO.omi
Albany city . 400.000
Danville, Horso Theit Mutual.
Atlantic. N. Y 1,000,000
Gerraauln, N, Y .. 000,000
FISEAB BROWN, Avcnt,
mai2l'71 ly, llLoovannuo l'a,
H
INKLEY KNITTING MACHINE
THE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND DEST IN
USEI HAS HUT ONE NEEDLE 1 A
CHILD CAN RUN IT I
Designed especially for tho nso of families, and
ndlcs v,ho Uetlro toknlt for tho market. Will
do every stitch of tho knitting ln a stocking,
widening nnd narrowing as readily as by hand.
Aio splendid for woiMrds and fancy woik,
TAKING FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF
STITCH I Aro very easy to manage, and not
liable to get out of order. Every Family should
have one.
Wo want an Agent In every town to Introduce
nnd sell lliein, lowborn weollertlioruostllbernl
Inducements. Heud iorourClrcuhiraudSamplo
Btocklnir. Address.
HINKLEY KNITTING MAC11INECO.,
nov. 19,'71-ly. Hath, Mo.
TTJ O. IIOWER,
has opened a first-class
BOOT, BIIOE, HAT CAP, AND FUlt STORE,
at tbo old stand on JtfalnStrcct.llloomsbnrg.nfew
doors above tbo Court House. His stock Is com
posed ol tho very latest nud best styles ever offer
ed to tbo citizens ol Columbia County. Ho can
accommodate tho publtcwith tbo following gondB
atthelowcbt rates, Men's heavy double soled
stoga boots, men's double nnd sfnglo tap soled
kip boots, men's heavy btogn shoe of all kinds,
men's lino boots nnd shoes or all grades, boy's
doublo soled boots and, shoes or all kinds, men's
glovo kid Balmoral shoes, men's, women's, boys'a
and misses' lasting gaiters, women's glove kid
Pollsh.very flne.woiueu's morocco llnlmornlsand
calf shoes, women's very flno kid buttoned gait
ers. In short boots ol all descriptions both pog
Ho would nlso call attention to his flno assort
ment of
ATS, CAPS, FURS AND NOTIONS.
which comprises all tho now and popnlni van-
uvuniu ,'iivt'H wiiieu uauuotiun tu suieaii. xueso
goods aro ottered nt the lowest cash rates and
will be guaranteed togivo satisfaction. A call
Is solicited boforo purobaslnir olsowliere as It Is
believed that better bargains aro to bo found
than nt any other place ln tho county.
rpiIE ORANGEVILLE MANUFAC
JL TURING COMPANY.
MAKUFACTUI'.EnS OF
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS
of tho most Approved Patterns.
Mill Gearing,
Jobbing-,
mul C'nslliigM
of all descriptions.
DEALERS IN
General Merchandise, Lumber, Ac., etc.
ORANGEVILLE, PA.
Wo would nnnonnco to tho publlo In general
that wo havo taken tho well known Agricultur
al Woiks of Ibis place and shall make It our aim
to mnnufnctuio First Clasa Agricultural Imple
ments cnual to any other mnkors ln tho BLato.
Mich as
Threshing machines,
Both Lover nnd Tread Power.
Plows or every Description,
nmoug which will bo tho celebrated
KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO,
acknowledged by nil to bo tho best plow extant
for tho farmer. Also tho
Clianijiloii, Sterns' Patent ami
The Montrose.
ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS,
Cultivators,
Iron Kettles,
and Castings
of every desciiptlou. Wo shall nso nonolmt tho
best materials and employ none but competent
nud experienced meeb.tulcs and our prices will
compare favorably with any other manufactur
ers.
country frounce, i.umucr. old iron, taken in
exchange. Wo also haven stoio in connection
Willi our Agiiciiiinrni worics, wnero may no
found a full assortment of MERCHANDISE
which will bo sold nt small nrnlits. Glvo us a
call bcloro puiebaslng elsuwhero and wo guar
antee batlsliictlon.
iuarcu;s!';-iy.
Hotels.
rpilE ESPY HOTEL.
JL
ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
Tho undersigned would Inform tho travelling
Hibllolhal he has taken tho above named estab
lishment and thoroughly rclltlcd tho samo for
tho perfecl.conveiileuco of blsguests, His larder
will bo stocked with tho best llio innrket nilurds.
The choicest liquors, wines and clgarsalways to
bo found In his bar.
WILldAM 1'KTTIT.
Espy, l'n.
Jm would niiiiouiieetntho cillzeusorillnoms-
bun
urg nnd vicinity, that ho bu lust lecelvednfull
uud complete ussortmeut ol
WALLPAPER, WINDOW BHADI'H,
1-IXTUlSES, ( OHliH, TASEM,
and all oilier goods lu is Una of business. All
too newesi nun iiiobi uiqirovcu patterns or llui
day aio always to bo found in his establishment,
inar.5.'ll,J-tf Main Bt. below Market,
CHOICE FAMILY GROCERIES
DOWN IN PRICE
J. H. MAIZE'S,
Corner Main and Centre But.,
BLOOMSBUHfJ.
A new ktockof Frekh Goods Just openpd at
MAIZE'S.
Teas, CoiTecH, Snprnrn,
HYllUPB and MOLAKSEB. CHEESE, MEATS.
SALT, FISH, etc.
VEGETA1IL1M, 1 1 ERM ET1 CA LLY' Sealed
tlOIMlS.
JELLIES nnd PRESERVES, PICKLES,
FOREIGN and DOMhSTJU FRUITS.
An Elegant Assortmont
OF
- QUEENSWARE
Pintant1v mi finnrl.
Also WOOD, WILLOW and ULABUWAllKo!
every vani ly,
All my goods nro of tho first quality and at ex
tremely low prices,
iteca'71-lf J, II, MAIZE.
Poetical.
A Sow Poem by Jlr. llrynnt.
Tho following poem, by Mr. Bryant, appears
lu tho last Issuoof tho Ixdacrt
tub naked TntiTir,
I A llttlo volumo of fables, lu verse, and In tho
Spanish language, by Joso Rosas, has met with
such favor ln Mexico that tho clly authorities
havo ndnpted It ns n reading-book for schools.
The following Is a translation or ono of tho fa
bles. Iloatitlntl Truth, ouco lu the days of yore,
Putou tho bravo array,
Which then tho goddesses of Hellas woro,
nnd Issued to tho day
Robed ln snch sort, with graces so divine,
Thnt men, adoring, built to her a shrine,
Tho gods, Indignant nt tho sight,
Roso In tho defence or their Invadod right.
"Horror and Inmmy," they crlod.l
"And profanation I" and they came nud went,
Pacing tho ambrosial courts lrom sldo to side,
Till a wild tumult filled the firmament.
Jove, tonppcaso their fury, left tho skies,
And quickly stood beforo
Tho slirlno of Truth, detormlnod to clinstlso
Tho sacrilege I ho toro
From her tho regal inautlo which she wore,
And stripped tho robo nway,
And flung to Falsehood' hnnd
Mnntlo nnd robe, to servo lor her nrrny,
And gavo to truth tho lerrlblo command :
"Ho thou forovor naked from this day."
And thcrcforo, reader, let not Truth bo blamed
If, ovcrmoro since then,
Sho hides lu corners, humbled nud nshamcd,
And rarely seen of men.
III tlic List.
I.
Could I chooso tho ago and tho forlunalo season
When to bo bom.
I would fly from tho censure of your barren rea
son,
And tho scourges or your scorn :
Could I take tho tongue, nnd tho laud, nnd tho
Motion,
That tomowerollt,
I would mako my llio a forco and an oxaltatloii,
auu you coam not stillo itl
II.
But tho thing most near to tho freedom I covet
Is tho frcodom I wrest
From a llmo that would bar mo from climbing
abovo it,
To seek tho East lu tho Wost.
I havo dreamed of tho forms of a nobler exist-
enco
Thnn you glvo mo here.
And tho beauty that lieu af.ir In tho dateless
dhtnnco
I would conquer, nnd bring moro near.
III.
It Is good, undowered with tho bounty ol For
tune,
In tho sun to stand:
Lot others excuse, and cringe, and lmpoiluno.
1 will try tho streuglh or my hand 1
If I fall, I shall fall not among tho mistaken,
Whom you daio to dcrldo;
If I win, you shall hear, nnd beo, and nt last
awaken
To thank mo becauso I dolled I
llAYAitli TAYLOit, 7n Auuusl (Hilary.
Miscellaneous.
THU THIIKE WISHES.
A STORY WITH AN OBVIOUS MORAL.
Onco throo HttJo boys iinnied Tom,
Dick and Harry, sat on n fence, tnlklni;
over their hopes and aspirations of lifo,
and gnzlrifr into futurity, and chewing
gum, and enjoying themselves, except
Tom, who was trying to sraoko a cigar
ette, and just at that precibo moment
was beginning to feel unsteady about
tho stomach.
Wiiilo thoy sat thcro who should
como along but ono of H1030 old philan
throplsts, who, with a glngliam um
brella and nino fingers of crapo on hi3
high hat, was all tho tirao aggravatincr
small boys with moral conundrums.
So, as ho saw theso thrco chaps, ho went
at them with his usual catechism ;
and iio laid his hand on Tom's head,
which Tom had just combed in order
to distract agirl who lived next to him,
and tills benevolent being said :
"lhomas, my son, what is your am-
blton In lifo ? What do you want to bo
when you grow up?"
Tom felt miserablo on account of tho
cigaretto, so ho only answored i
"All I want is to get rich."
An expression of pain passed over tho
aged man's faco and ho turned to Dick,
who had taken tho gum out of his
mouth and had it In his hand.
"And Richard what do you want
most in this lifo?"
Dick said ho was going to bo a groat
man.
Moro 8inTering appeared in tho good
old fellow's faco as ho said to Harry :
"And, Harry, what is your ambi
tion?"
"To bo good, sir," replied Harry.
Now, It i3 tho regular conventional
thing in all tho books, when a boy an
swers in this noblo manner for tho
philanthropist to shed asllent tear, and
to fork out half a dollar as tho roward
of virtue But this man, with bomba
zlno on his hat, disappointed Harry by
simply wiping his noso with n red
pocket handkerchiof, and stating that
Harry was on tho right track, and had
cIio3en tho only courso that could mako
lilm happy.
And this was precisely whero tho old
customer was wrong, as wo shall see.
Tom, for instanco, started out to get
rich ; ho stolo from his partner about
four dollars h week, and played marbles
for keep and cheated and worked hard,
and saved up and got stingy and mean,
and never gavo a cent lo auy sick crip-
plo In tho street and refrained from
allovlrtting tho sufferings of any lonely
widows and orphans who woro starving
to death lu tho garret, and disgorged
no funds for tho benighted heathen in
Africa, who, ho said, ought to bo bo
nlghtcd, and wcro bolter off whon bo
nighted. Ami when tho collection was
taken up in church on Sunday ho al
ways put half a dollar on tho plato and
took out sovcnty.fivo cents chango, and
considered thatsharn financiering. And
as ho got older ho speculated In oil and
took his friends on tho ground floor of
his company which smashed up aftor
Thomas had mado his profits, And
then ho started a bank, and whon ho
had got half a million dollars lu it ho
failed nnd embezzled it, and went to
Europo to take a tour for his health, for
ho had obtained his dcslro to bo rich.
Ono would think that this wicked
man would havo been filled with ro-
moreo and anguish, and would havo
reflected how unsatisfactory riches aro,
after all, and how a clear consclenco is
better than tho wealth of Croesus j and,
then looking upon his gold, ho would
havo considered It incro droa that
could not bring happiness, and then ho
would havo sighed for tho purify nnd
nlnocflLco of his childhood's days, and
ronictn jor how ho had wastod his lifo
rliuo lao happy llmo whon ho sat on
tlut Ipico and conversed with tho bo
lilghtM philanthropist with tho um
brolhuuid high hat. But Thomas said
h' wrjjjf ffttUiled. Ho had tho cash, and
felt f ntrato. No pang of rcmorso
bothoud hliaaud ho didn't want to bo
a bojt'ngaltii but ho onjoyed himself
Jtiit ni ho was, spending his rovenue,
and living ovcrybody considering lilm
a innrjnlficcnt fellow, which thoy didn't
wlienjfiB was poor ; and oven had tho
hardlliood to assert that ho would do
Just a ho had dono again.
Did- wanted to bo great. So ho got
cloctoil Justlco of tho pcaco, and ho let
up ol hardoncd criminals, who had
porpefjated frightful crimes, on condl-
at they would vote for him for
on council. So thoy did, and ho
looted. And then ho gavo out
cts lo rascally politicians who
rob tho treasury as much as thoy
wauled to, provided thoy would send
him jo tho legislature, which they ac
cordingly did. And when ho got thcro
ho voted for tho dead-wood corporations
and railroad swindles for tho fellows
who promised to mako him Governor,
and Xhcm ho began to pardon all tho
pickpockets and thiovc3 out of tho
ponltjontlary and wink at all tho frauds
practiced In tho legislature, so as to bo
sent
to tho Scnato which ho was:
and
now ho Is loading his dice to bo
dont, and very likely ho will bo
Pres
soma
day or other.
But now, at tho very pinnaclo of famo
does ho sit down, and nt tho goal of his
ambtion say to himself how hollowaro
all theso honors? how distasteful all
thlsjpowor and grandeur, when pur
chased at tho sacrlflco of honesty and
self respect and decency ? Do tho carc3
of tho Stato weigh heavily upon him,
nnd docs ho place his throbbing brow
upon a sleepless pillow and sigh for tho
rest of ills boyhood's early years?
I think not. Ho merely observes that
ho wouldn't trado places with any man.
His only regret Is that ho can't hold
three or four offices at tho samo time,
and when ho looks back upon tho tlmo
when ho sat upon tho fence, ho thinks
how if ho had hold of that old man with
tho parasol nnd stovopipo hat, ho would
glvo him an ofllco and seo If Jio couldn't
crabezzlo enough Government funds to
get himself a tllo and silk umbrella for
Hint's what ho would do himself under
similar circumstances.
Harry started out with tho intention
of being good, and It is hardly necessa
ry to stato that ho mado himself abject
ly miserable.
no novcr could enjoy himself with
tlio other boys stoning cats andllghtiug
nxmers, and novcr onco, in tho wholo
course of his life, did lio Oirporlonco tho
joy of going for somo farmer's apples.
His mother wouldn't let him go swim
ming or boating, and so ho stayed at
homo whllo tho other fellows wcro hav
ing a good time. And ho nover went
to tho circus or mcuagerio, but ho used
to stand outsldo and hear tho hyena
growl, and seo tho other boys creeping
under tho tent, and listen to them
laughing at tho clown, and thon go
homo and feel what a misorablo de
pressing thing it was to bo good, any
how. Anyhow ho had no frlonds, and then,
when ho grow up, he wont into busi
ness ; but ho was so unpleasantly up
right that tho wicked men being tho
larger part of the community felt how
great a reproach his example wasj and
thoy stnyed away from him, nnd ho
failed, and tho sheriff who was an im
pious old eustoincr, camo on him and
confiscated his wholo concern, and put
him In Jail, and when ho got out being
poor and having no friends ho took
board in tho almshouse, and eventually
diod thcro In such an exemplary'man
ner that ovorybody was glad of It, be
causo it had suclt n good influenco on
tho other unreconstructed paupers.
Tho 'iv Jersey Miisiiulto.
Tho Nowark Advertiser says:
Tho tuneful musquito has had his lrom
bono reconstructed and begins thonow
season In animated stylo. A Nowark
man received acall tho other day from his
long lost brother who lives in California.
Ho assigned tho'sparo room to lilm,and
bidding him an affectionate good night
retired to rest, only to havo his slum
hers disturbed soon aftor by an Incipient
carthquako up stairs. Hastily donning
his trousers ho proceeded to tho long
Iorit brother's room from whonco tho
uproar camo. When that unbridled
brother wont to bod ho had thrown
open his window to draw ttntrammelcd
breath and preserve tho idea of his na.
tivo freedom. Tho musquito, scenting
foreign produce from afar, whottod his
knife and fork upon tho stono window
sill, nud humming n short grnco beforo
meat, took achair upon tho Callfornlan's
uoso,aud tucking hls'napkln under chin,
set to work. Tho sensltl vo foreigner said
an ungentlo thing about tho musical
bird of llio night, and springing from
his couch struck a light to meet his un
seen ntlversnry faco to faco. No sooner
had ho descried him llinu with uplifted
pillow ho smoto upon tho wall whero
sat tho patient insect, who skimmed
swiftly nway and left tho spot bare.
Two moro unsucossful attempts upon
tho poor musqulto's lifo oxasperated tho
long lost brother and tho scono became
oxclting. Blow followed blow In quick
succession as tho;iratoCalIfornlan danced
lu fantastic pursuit about tho room.
Just ns ho had takon a careful aim at
tho artful dodger who sat upon n panel
of tho door enjoying tho sport, tho pro
prietor of tho mansion popped his hoad
in nnd received tho whack intended for
tho musquito full in tho faco, Ho laid
down unprcmcdltatedly and called for
tho neighbors. When outsldo relnforco'
mcnts appeared, an cntranco was effect
cd into tho room nnd a fonrful scono of
ruin met tho gazo of tho intrudors. The
only wholo remaining artlclo of fund
turo was tho bedstead upon which sat
tho disconsolato California!! picking tho
fragments of tho looking glass out of his
baro feet, nnd saying lerrlblo things.
Ho was Inconsolablo, and noxt day ho
loft for California without oil'orlugto
pay for tho broken furniture.
Tho Uiilllothie.
It Is generally taken for granted that
tho beheading Instrument used In
Franco nnd somo other countries of
JSuropo was Invented, or nt least per
fected, by tho nmlablo and philan
thropic physician whoso namo it bears,
hut in reality this doubtful honor be
longs lo somo earlier Inventor whoso
namo has not been preserved. An In
strument of this kind was used In Ger
many early In tho thirteenth century,
nnd was known ns tho "Pnnko" or
"DIelo." In 1233 it was montlonod in
tho criminal statutes of tho Nether
lands, and Its namo appears in many
accounts of executions in Germany and
other countries about tho samo period.
In Italy a similar Instrumont, called
tho mannia, was used for tho execution
of persons of quality. Beatrice Concl
suffered death by this Instrument In
1C99. In England n similar machino
was used, and a full description of It
may bo found In tho British Stato Cal
endar for 1703. Tho "maiden" of Scot
land, which was used for tho beheading
of Morion In 1G81, was an instrument
similar to thoso already mentioned, and
Is supposed to havo been brought over
from Germany by tho very man who
suffered by it. It is still preserved In
tho museum of tho Antiquarian Society
at Edlnburg. Even Franco possessed
itns early as tho fifteenth century, un
der tho namo of "Doloiroj" and two
centuries later tho unfortunato Duko
do Montmorency was oxecuted with
this instrument, nt tho Instigation of
Richelieu. It seems then to havo pass
ed out of uso and to' havo been for
gotten.
When, therefore, Dr. Joseph Ignaco
Gulliotln, on tho 1st of December, 1789,
proposed In tho French Constituent
Assembly to atiovlato tho. horrors of
capital punishment by adopting a ma
chine which would dispenso with tho
axo or sword, ho was mcroly rovivlng
an old contrivance, which had bcoii
suspended In Germany, France, nnd
Italy by tho very instruments of decap
itation which lie was trying to abolish.
Dr. Guillotin'a motion was not form
ally acted on until tho 20th of March,
1792, when a resolution was passed
ordering a decapitating machino of tho
kind doscribed by tho doctor to bo
adopted. Tho plan was submitted to
tho carpenter employed by tho govern
ment, who demanded 5,000 francs for
making tho machino, but finally, after
much chaffering, a better bargain was
mado with a German mechanic named
Schmidt, who agreed to furnisli cighly
threo of tho new instruments ono for
each department for tho sum of 500
francs each. It was first fried on tho
18th of April, 1792, upon a number of
corpses at tho Bicetro hospital, and was
found to work with rapidity and pre
cision. A week later it was employed
for tho decapitation of a convicted high
way robber named Pelletier. Tho
dreadful uso to which It was afterward
put In tho wholesalo massacre of inno
cent men, women, and even children,
mado its very namo a horror, and pro
bably contributed not a llttlo to its not
being adopted in England and tho Uni
ted States, instead of tho gallows, as a
means of inflicting capital puuishment.
It consists of a block resting between
two upright grooved posts, between
which slides n heavily-weighted knifo
with an obliquo edgo. Tho sufferer is
strapped firmly to a plank, and thrust
faco downward between tho posts, so
that his neck is directly under tho knifo.
A spring is touched, tho heavy, keen-
edgo blado descends, and tho head Is
soyered from the body as easily as a
sharp razor severs a hair.
Dr. Gulliotln himself narrowly escap
ed being a victim of the instrument
which bears his name. IIowa3 thrown
Into prison during tho reign of terror,
but was released on tho death of Robes
pierre, resumed tho practice of his pro
fession in Paris, anil died quietly In his
bed on tbo 2Gth of March, 1811. Tho
story that ho died broken-hearted
becauso of tho Infamy attached to his
Invention is, of courso, untrue.
Tho question whether death by tho
guillotlno is comparatively painless
was raised in Franco soon aftor tho re
introduction of tho instrument. In
1795 Dr, Sommoring, In tho Momiteur,
denounced it as too rapid In its opera
tion, and maintained that sensation
did not ceaso Imraediato after decapita
tion. Many experiments wcro tried to
test tho truth of Ida theory. Eminent
physicians assiduously ntlcndcd execu
tions, nnd by striking nt tho sovcred
head, shouting in its car, and divers
other ways, endeavored to ascertain
whether sonsatlon survived tho shock
of decapitation. Sommering's book was
by Gedlilot's "Historical nnd Phllo
followed sophlcal Reflections upon Exe
cution by the Guillotine," and tho noxt
year tho samo author continued tho dis
cussion in a work entitled "Anecdotes of
Decapitated Persons." But tho question
romnlns unanswered. S. S. Conant,
in Harper's Magazine for July,
The New Hon Car. Tho Cleveland
Leader thus describes tho Bergh palnco
hog car : When tho swlno wish to slum
her, thoy blow a whlstlo mado from tho
tail of a brother who has gono bororo ;
tho conductors onter and conduct them
to a hot Russian bath In tho rear end of
tho car, nfter which thoy nro rubbed
down with rough towels, and a lunch of
old bootsandlco cream furnished. Notn
squeal is over heard In theso cars, noth
Ingbutgruntsofsatlsfactlon,anda8klllcd
musician puts In from eight to twenty
ty-four hours a day playlngon acottago
organ, such uniiaus as 1110 "nam
Fat-Man," "Tho Watch on tho Rhino,"
"When tho Pigs Como Homo," etc. In
fact lifo Isn perpetual holiday on tho
hog trains until thoy nrrlvo within n
fow miles of Jersoy Clty.whon tho train
Is stopped, a steam flro engine throws n
stream of chloroform Into each car, nud
tho inmates sink Into n slumber from
which they nover uwakon in this world
of trlchlnio, butchor-knlves, smoked
ham, headcheoso, nnd death.
An Irishman went to Baugor nnd
bought n horso for two dollars nnd a
half. When ho hild dragged him homo,
n neighbor saldi "Arrah now, Pat!
why didn't you glvo nuothcr half dol
lar nnd get n good ono?"
Tho Origin or Miisqultos.
Tho Red River Indians havo a curl
ous legend respecting tho origin of mus
quitocs. Thoy say that onco upon n
tlmo thcro was n famine, nnd tho Indl
nns could got no game. Hundreds had
died from hunger and desolation filled
their country. All kinds of offerings
wcro mado to tho Great Spirit without
avail, till ono day two hunters camo
upon n whlto wolverine, an old woman
sprang out of tho skin, and saying that
sho was n "Manlto," promised to go
nnd IIvo with tho Indians, promised
them plonty of gamo na long ns thoy
treated her well nnd gavo her tho first
choico of nil tho gamo that should bo
brought in.
Tho two Indians assented to this, and
looif. tlio oiu woman homo with them
which oven t was Im mediately succeeded
by nn nbundanco of game. When tho
sharpness of tho famino had passed, tho
Indians becamo dainty In their uppo
tltes, nnd complained of tlio manner in
which tho old woman took to herself
all tho choico bits; and this feeling
becamo so intense that, notwithstand
ing her warning that If thoy violated
their promises a tcrriblo calamity would
como upon the Indians, they ono day
killed her ns sho was seizing her sharo
of a fat reindeer which tho hunters had
brought in.
Great constornatlon immediately
struck tlio witnesses of tho deed, and
tho Indians to escapo tho predicted
calamity, boldly struck their tents and
moved nway to a great distance. Tlmo
passed on without any catastropho oc
curring, and gamo becoming even moro
plentiful, tlio Iiidians again began to
laugh at their being deceived by tho
old woman. Finally, a hunting party
on a long chase of a reindeer, which had
led them back to tho spot where tho
old woman was killed, camo upon her
skeleton, and one of them in derision
kicked tho skull with his foot.
In an instant a small, spiral, vapor-
llko body aroso from the oyos and ears
of tho skull, which proved to bo insects,
which attacked tho hunters with groat
fury, and drovo them to tho river for
protection. Tho skull continued to
pour out its llttlo stream nnd tho air
becomo full of avengers of tho old wo
man's death. Tho hunters upon re
turning to camp, found rll tho Indians
suffering terribly from tho plaguo nnd
ovor slneo that tlmo tho Indians havo
been punished by tho musquiloes, for
their wickedness to their preserver, tho
Manito.
Eccentricity.
Tho following singular Instanco of
eccentricity, illustrating tho closo con
nection of this condition of tho mind
with insanity, Is related by Professor
Hammond in his work on diseases of
tho nervous system :
A ladyhadsincohor childhood shown
a singularity of conduct as regarded her
table furniture, which sho would havo
of no other material than copper. Sho
carried this fancy to such an extent that
oven tho knives woro mado of copper.
Pcoplo laughed at her, and tried to
reason her outof her whim, but in vain.
In no other respect was thoro any ovi
denco of mental aberration. Sho was
intelligent, by no means excitable, and
In tho enjoyment of excellent health.
An unclo had, however, died insane.
A trifling circumstance started in her a
now train of thought, nnd excited crao
tions which sho could not control. Sho
read in n morning paper that n Mr.
Koppcrinan had arrived at ono of tho
hotels, and she announced her deter
mination to ct.ll on him. Her friends
endeavored to dissuado her, but with
out avail. Sho went to tho hotol and
was told ho had just left for Chicago.
Without returning to her homo, sho
bought a ticket for Chicago, and actual
ly started on tho next train for that
city. Tho telegraph, howover, over-
took her, and sho was brought back from
Rochostcr raving of her lovo for a man
whom sho had never seen, and whoso
namo alono had been associated In hor
mind with her fancy for copper table
furnltuio. Sho died of acuto mania
within a month. Scritiuer's for Au
gust,
Tun Now Orleans Picayune says:
An amusiug incident is rolatcd to havo
occurred on tho steamer Dexter on hor
last trip down tho river. Just below
Vicksburg n family got on board, on
routo for Texas. During tho afternoon
tho pater famllla3 concluded ho would
onjoy tho luxury of a good shavo,
shampooing, otc, and for tills purposo
applied to tlio tonsorlal artist of tho
steamer. Tho luxury was speedily
supplied lilm, and, at his request, hair,
oyebrows and whiskers woro converted
from n fiery red to raven blackness by
tho uso of tho artist's dyo. Tho traveler
was hugely pleased at tho Idea of sur
prising his wifo nt tho transformation,
and hurried to demand tho prlco. Im
aglno his Indignation when ho was call
cd upon to forfeit $10. Ho sworo ho
would never pay It, and hurried to his
stato-room to bueklo on his dcfcnslvo
armor. But ho was mot at tho door by
his spouse, outraged by tho intrusion of
a stranger, ns sho supposed, nnd admltt
anco refused. Ho called himself her
husband sho said ho was nn impostor,
Ho attempted to explain. It was use
loss. A crowd fathered around, and
the laugh becamo general. At last, In
his perplexity, tho IToosier exclaimed,
"Ball, look at my feet I" Ono glanco
nt tho pedal appendages assured her.
"Yes, John," sho said, "I know thorn
feet. They can como In j but keep that
head out of my sight 1"
An exchango says au alligator very
gracefully masticated a very valiiablo
stag hound belonging to n gentleman
In Eutaw tho other day. Ab tho owner
had already lost ono dog in tho Eaino
funny way, ho determined to bring to
punishment tho foil destroycr.and bait
cd six largo hooks with hog liver. But
tho amusing crcaturo gulped down tho
hog liver, hooks and all, broko tho lino
nnd leslurely swam awny as happy ns a
clam. Tho desperate dog owners Is now
lying In wait on tho river side, armed
with a harpoon big enough to catch
whalo, and proposlug to go for that
alligator ns Bill Nyo went for tho hen
then Chlucc In n'woy lio'll despise,
Humorous.
An Ohio hen defies tho provisions of
tho Ku-Klux net by destroying all her
.black chickens ns soon ns they aro
hatched.
A California Jury, In n suicldo enso
lately, returned tho following verdict:
"Wo, thojury, find that tho deceased
was n fool it!
Somo unreasonable pooplo In Ander
son, Indiana, tied n tin can to a dog's
tall and thon shot tho dog forigcttlng
mad. l
A Chattanooga(Tenn)papor says that
that city is making strides toward civ
ilization, PIck-pockcts flourish, horses
nro ill treated ,and tho children get blind
drunk,
A Western paper wants to know If
tho ladles of thnt especial neighborhood
havo forgotten that 1872 Is leap year and
Is over half gono?
Tho despondent looking man who
suddenly started on seeing new apples
for salo, and cried, "Now, my children
shall havo bread," was a doctor.
A man In Concord, N. IL, aftor firing
at a partrhlgo with n revolver seven
times without killing It, threw'tho wca
p6n in dlsgusVand knocked tlio bird's
liead off.
A snalco crawled out of his holo in n
Paducah tenpin alley, and each of tho
halfdt'ZHi bowlers immcdlatoiy camo
to tho conclusion that ho "had'em."
A correspondent of a Maine paper
wants to know somo remedy forstriped
bugs. Wo should supposo tho remedy
dopended very much on what alls tho
bugs.
Tho following new definition Is sug
gested for tho forthcoming edition of
Webster's Unabridged. Tomahawk
an agricultural implement chiefly used
for raising hair.
Tho reason a gentleman got up and
left a very tedious and intrlcato service,
Sunday afternoon was because "ho was
n young man nnd lifo was dear to
him."
ThoLouIsvlllo Courier-Journal says:
"Tho Atlanta S'im Is very popular
among Its exchanges. They cut out Mr.
Stephens' editorials for paper weights."
A Virginia exchange says at a concert
recently, at tho conclusion of tho song,
"There's a good tlmo coming," a far
mer cot up and exclaimed: "Mister.
you couldn't fix tho date, could you ?"
Thoy do business with disnatch in
Texas. A man in a cortaln neighbor
hood, who had lost a valublo maro,
received tho following telegram, "Maro
here. Como got her. Thief hung."
Tho "Fat Contributor" wroto to
Grecloy to know how to ralso a roof.
ureciov roniieu : "liaiso it from tlio
shinglo, selecting dlppod shlngles.eight
to tno pounu. uut tno tops on ucioro
planting, and drag them in with a sau
sage stuffer."
Ono Gen. E. M, Leo has a lecturo pre
pared on "Four Years In tho Saddlo
with Sheridan and Kllpatrick." It
scem3 to U3 that that saddlo must havo
been very much crowded and wo do not
seo how thoy stood It so long.
In nn advertisement of a railroad
company of unclaimed iroods. a letter .
dropped from tho word "lawful," so
that tho advertisement read "Pooplo to
whom theso packages aro directed, aro
notified to como forward and nav tho
awful charges on tho same."
Two friends meeting, ono remarked,
"I havo just met a man who told tno I
looked exactly llko you." "Tell mo
who It was, that I may knock him
down." replied his friend. "Don't
troublo yourself," said ho "I did that
myself."
Thackeray tells of an Irish woman
begging of him, who, when sho saw
him putting his hand in his pocket,
cried out : "May tho blessing of God
follow you all tho days of your life,"
but, when ho pulled out his snuff box,
immediately added "and never over
tako you 1" f
A Western paper has tho followlnrr
advertisement : "Engaged Mfss Anna
Gould to John Caudall, city marshal of
Leavenworth, Kansas. From this tlmo
henceforth and forover until Miss
Anna Oould becomes a widow all
young men aro rcquestod to withdraw
their particular attentions."
Discretion Is the better part of valor.
Tom and Arthur havo boon rudo to
their mamma. Mamma has complained
to papa, who is heard coming up stairs.
Arthur: "I say, Tom, hero comes
papa; I shall pretend to bo asleep."
Tom : "I shan't : I shall cot tin and nut
something on."
A lady at Zanesvllio. O.. in cleanlncr
house, found a package of two pounds
oi powucr, anu tiunuing it was lamp-
ihuck sno t n row it into tno nro. iter
husband thinks sho escaped, as nothing
has been hoard of her since, oxcept a
piece of calico dress, which was found
on an applo treo In tho orchard.
Pertinent Question. Durlncr a re-
cont trial at Rockport, Indiana, Judi.i
Laird interrupted tno testlmonv ol u
lady wltnoss.rcmarklng that it was n it
relevant. Tho lady raised her head,x id
with a look mado up of Injured iti.ni
cence,inquIrcd,'Wcll,sIraml telling ibis
story, or nro you?" Tho Judgo wilted,
anu aiioweu nor to tan: as long as sim
wanted lo.
A Now Fairfield man who failed Id
get a thirty-cent pineapplo foraquatt.T
oi n uouar, wanted to Know "wiioiiut
wo nro breathing tho puro air of Ave
dom. or being strangled with tho fotid
breath of a hellish despotism ?" Tho
storekeeper said thoso were tho only
pineapples ho had. Danbury Hews.
A California nowspapor prints tho fol
lowing touching obituary: "Plil.lp
iiandscomo was driving a team Joaurii
with powder up tho Sierra Novndi
mountains. Ono of tlio kegs dropped
from tho wagon. Tho Sierras stood U
well enougii, nut too miners wno eaiuo
from n neighboring rancli wcro unaiild
to find Mr. Hanscomb or tho team.
Tho Fort Wayno Sentinel makes tlio
following cheerful announcement : "A
colllti room has been established on
Wayno street, In tho roar of tho Sentinel
building. Any ono feollug llko attack
ing tno cuitor win savo ins relative
troublo by coming around that way u. d
selecting his box."
- Tho Danbury Conn. iS'eira tells of u
Nowtown mechanic who camo to Dan
bury on Friday to drivo homo a i.mv
purchase in tho shnpo of n pig. Ho left
with his charge at thrco o'clock in tlm
afternoon. At S o'clock Wednesday
morning ho was reported bearing a
littloto tho cast of Plttsileld, Mtus.,
and appeared to bo working gradually
around toward Providence, R. I. Ho
seemed anxious to hear from 'his fam
ily. At n meeting, a year or two ago, in
this country, n gentleman was speaking
on n question not strictly within tho
rango of butltiois then on tho tapis.
Becoming animated as his remarks pro
gressed, ho exclaimed with something
ofthomelodrama'ssolemnlty,"Mr. Pros
ident, my bowels yearn for tho nilsera
bio victims." "Ordorl" shouted several
voices from tho opposite corner of thu
hotiso ; "tho gentleman's bowels nro out
of order I" Tho point of ordor was
sustnlned by tho chair, and tho geutlo
man commanded to tako ids seat. -