RATES OF ADVERTISING.
AND
IIIPUIILIBHED EVERY FRIDAY M011N1NO
iNTiiEOOX-ciiniAN auii.niNa hearths
COUtlT HOUSE, BLOOKSnURO, rA,UY
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
EDiTon AMD rnornir.Ton,
Ttrm-Two Collars a Tear payaUo in aavanee,
JOB MINTING
nfjlldescrlptloiiH oxecntcd with neatness nnil
dispatch nt roasounblo rates.
Columbia Oountv Offloial Directory.
AnsvlateJuitilct-lnMi Uv.nu, ISAAC B. MOM
''jvothonotam tf.-linr.oirn :l It. "f.
Jtrffi. tcr .1- ltecerderW I i.m A mrom II . J A com .
Rhalff-AAUOX SMITH.
(Yminili(oiierJ Uyiich I10H111I.S, lllHAH J.
11khui:ii, WiM.iAMHHArrr.li.
WnmfiJfOHiTj' Ucrt-WII.MAM KniCKBACM,
lutfttert U. J. CAiiruELL, DAttiKL Lek.
I'ltAiara CTtrani
. ......i'iti nT.fti fl. Mutipuv.
,. n) Cuinibuoner ISAAC McBMDE, John McJ
Atoimj .ViO'cr(u(cn(cti(-CJfAlil.U3 U, DAtiKLitY
7;' m ivw fiMc-Dlrcctors, H. II. Mn.l.nn
WtM.tAM KiiAMKit, IUoomsbnrg, nnd Johnsoii
IM I.K1I. GlCCllWOOd, CHA11I.EH CoNNEii, Bcc'y.
Bloomsburg Offloial Directory,
mcvwilvrg r.avhinti O.-Jon.v A. ITJKSTOH
iTcsiucni, ii. ii. urorz, cnsiner.
. -I Xaltonal -.'emt-ClIAS. It. PAXTOK.rres't ,
.1. P. Tuhtin. Cnshlor. ...
WtnnblaOivntiiMutvnllfrvlnqFimttandlfttnAl'
tnetalttnK. II. Little, Prcs't., C W. Mum,
nt!,rmtbura IndUllna ami Savtna runtl Atsoeia-
Hoii-Wii, FiiAeocrc, Prcs't., J, 11. ltomsoN.Hcc.
Jilmnnbura Mutual Haling rtmil Asmiattmi
J, J llnowni l'icHklcut, C. O.UAiiKt.i:v, Bec'y,
Church Directory.
1'ltKSBYTKIlIAN CHURCH.
.if 'rr-ncv.BtnnrtMllchell.
f,abl,ath Sen tcralt)', A, M.J 7J4 I M.
Sabbath Kclwol OA. M. ....
it,r- If..,,. Wr.ltincilnv. H 1 At.
Srils fifo; no pews rented; slrnugcrs wel
come.
Bloomsburg Directory.
DAl'r.IlllAUH Just received and for bnio nt the
I L'lll.UMllIAN OIllCO.
OLOTIIINQ, AC.
DAVID I.OWIINIIKIIU, Merc
Ktitlovo American lloufio.
AVID LOWKNllEItO. Merchant Tnllor.Mnln
WM, MOItlllR, Mcrclinnt Tnllor, over lloscn
Mucks coiirectioncry.oiniosltoUndmans fur-
iilliiro win crooms.
DHUOS, 01IEMIOALS, Ac.
El'. I.UTX, DrucBlstnud Apothecary. Mnlu kt,
, hclow tho l'osl OlUcc.
OliOOKS, "WATCHES, AO.
n K.MAVAdU, denier In CInclts, Watches and
I;, Jewelry, Main si., Jimt below tho Aincilcan
lldii.se,
I OUIH llKUNHAnD, Watch and Clock maker
llnenrsoulhoastcoinor Malnnnd Iron sts.
n CATlICAItT, Watch and Clock Mnker.Mar.
ll, ltetttreol, helowMalu,
BOOTS AND BIIOES.
p M.KNOKIt, Dealer In lioolsnnd Bhncs, latest
J'i, nuil lieM styles, corner Mnln and Mnrkct
Htieets, In tho old l'obt OUleo,
Hi:NIlYKI.EIM,MannficUuer and dealer In
lln.it ; nnd Hhocs, Uroecrlcs, etc., Main btroet,
Dust llloomsburi:.
PROFESSIONAL..
1 -v II. II, C. HOWEIt, BnrseouDontli.t,Mnliist,i
1 n
1 uliovcj tho Court House.
DK. WM. M. EKItEK, Burgeon and I'hyslcinn.
Uillco over tho l'lrsl Katloual liauk.
n (1. UAKKI.KY, Atlorney-nt-Liw. 021co,2d
U. ilonrlu ExclmuEoillock, near tho "Exchaueo
ilfilel,"
1 11. McKEIVY.M. DBnr(;ron nnd I'hysiclan
J , noi tb sldo Main St., buluv.' M.vkct.
1 i . liUTTEIt, M. D. Hiugoon i ml riiysleluu
J. M. rlccthtrect,abovoMnlu.
I It. KO111S0N, Attomey-nt-lv, omco Hart-
linn's bulldlug, Main btrcct.
tl. 11, F. KINNEY. Hill-germ
leullHt. Teeth
ll'Xll UCU'U VllHOUl 111111
Hullo Uiilscoiml Chinch,
Mulu t., nearly on-
t It, EVANH, M. D., Burgeon niul I'hyslcinn,
, touth sldo Main btieet, below ilnrket.
nil. A. li.TlIHNnit.Tliyslelim nnd Burgeon, or
r tico over Klclm'H Dru Ktnri', rchtdeueo one
i!i .i below l'.ov. D. J. Waller.
iILLINERY A FANCY GOODS.
ti I'l.TEKMAN, Millinery mid Fancy Hoods,
ij. oi't iislto Episcopal Chinch, Main bt,
ulis LIZZIE IIAHKT.E, Milliner, Itnniboy
,U iiuildlug Main btrcct.
1H M. DKHK1CKBON, Millinery and Fancy
ill MUOiU,Maliiht below Market.
M i S, JUI.IA A. & BADE liAKKEEY, Ladles'
Jl i lu iksand Dress l'attoriM, southeast come'
" ii slid West bis,
'Pill MISBEH IIAItMAN Millinery and Fancy
1 !s, Main Kt., below Aliuricim J lousu.
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
UiillKS 1IOTKD, by T. Dent. Taylor, east end
1 oi iiaiiiMicel.
AIKUCHANTH AND OKOCERS.
t C M.Utlt, Dry Onods nnd Notions, south-
J' iltH
t corner Main and lion sts.
I'OX a WEU11, Confectionery and Bakery,
v wholesale and retail, Exchnugo lilock.
HlMIOWEIt, Ilatsaud Caps, Hoots andBhocs,
. Main bt., abovo Court Hoube.
I II. MAIZE, Mnmmoth Grocery, lino Oro
tl. rcrlcs, i'rultB, Nuts, l'ro vision, Ac, Main
iiikI 1'riitro Blrcels.
M'Ki:iA'y, NEAL & CO., dealers In Dry Hoods,
(Irorcrh'H, Flour, Fccd.Balt, Fish. Iron, Nulls,
iic.N. i:. cor. Main and Market its,
(1 II. JIII.I.EH A HON, dealers in Dry Ooods,
i 'iioccrlcs, (jueenbwarc, Flour, Bait, Bhoes,
Notions, ctc.Malutt.
nSCELLANEOUS.
p M. 1'lIItIKTMAN. faddlp, Ti unk A Harness
U. innUer, hlilvo's Ulock Main Btrcct.
DW. ltOIilllNH.llquoi dtolereecouddoorfrom
' noithwest comur Main and Iron sts.
D ' THOllNTON, Wall l'npcr. Window Shades
11. and fixtures, lUirei t block. Main st.
(' W t'OflEMj, Furnlluro ltooms, three btory
'J inlck, Main Htrcet, west or Market st,
Hi:0Ki:NSTOCK,I'hotogiapher, over ltobblnii
' 4 I.yer's Bloie, Malubt,
I ,H. laillN, dealerin Meat, Tallow, etc., Ciiem
1' lie) llu's alloy, i ear or American House,
v.ASIl'i:ij JACOI1Y, Marble nnd Drown Btono
'Wirks, East llloomsbnrg.llcrwlck road,
U'M. 11AH11, dealerin furnlluro, trunks, cedcr
" willow ware, near tho Forks Hotel.
V II. I1IDLEMAN, Agent for Munsou's Copper
lj'Tubular Lightning Itod.
f; FOSTElt.Gluo Maker, and Whllo nudFancy
W. Tanner, Bcottowu.
VOTE r.OOKB, nnd hlnnlc NOTEB.wllh or with
ll out exemption, for bale at tho Coi.umuian
uuice.
Oatawissa,
li K- I'AI'I'MAN.Merchant Tailor, Second Bt.
1), Mobbing' llulldlug.
1)
It. J, k. uoilIHNS, Burgeon and rhyslclnn
GIMII'.ltT A KLINE, dry goods, groceries, and
general mercUandlbO, Main Blreot
II. KISTIiEI!, "CntlawlKsa Itonsc," North
. v .uuiu auu nt'L-uuu Cltouia.
L
IvF.tr. VT1 Tllllnv.l UnAn nn.,n.D nn.l
'L'rcainlokcuonUaluBt.' '
Ico
11 M. BltoilBT. dealer In OeuetalMcrchandlso
"I. Dry Hoods. Urocorles &o.
01'Srjyr.HANNA or llrlck Hotel, S, Kobten
iwin i'Sr 1 "'Ol,rletor,ijoiilh.eakt corner Main am
M. II, A11UOTT, Attorney at law, Main Bt.
Light Street.
I S't 0HA? Co- WliJelwrigbts, flrst door
1, above BchooUIoubO.
i!ooti;u0dSHh?jaMttna('l!Uwer anJ dcaler ln
IIiiii.Ej.x H'Ier, ana dialer In all kinds ol
1'urchskJd'. r' F"J' dCf A" k"u" "lOralu
Espy.
VOLUME VI. -NO, 20.
J3nck Horn.
M& O.W. II. BHOEMAKEK, dealers In dry
goods, grocelerles nnd general morchandso
Orangovillo Directory,
l-v 11. HEimiNG A IinOTIIEn,Carpcntersand
; Dnllders, Main st,, bolow 1'lne,
BHICII HOTEL nnd rerresliment Paloou, by
ltohr M'Hcnry cor.ofMoln and l'luost.
Dtl. O. A.MEaAItaEL.l'hyslcl.mnnilSurgeon
Mnlu (it., next door to Good's Hotel,
DAVID HEKIttNO. FlonrnndGrlstMlll.and
Donlorln grain, Mill tilrect,
TAMES D. IIAllilAN. Cabinet Maker and Un
i dertnker, Main Bt,, iielow I'lno,
SCHUYLEH & CO., Iron founders.Machlnlsts
and Ilnnufactniors or plows, Mill Bt.
SAMUEL BHAltrLEBH. Maker orthollayhurst
Grain Cradle. Main Bt.
WILLIAM DELONO Bhocmakernud manufac
turer of llrlck, Mill Bt,, west of I'ino
Fhiladolphia Directory.
TAINWlliailT & CO.,
WHOLESALE OIIOCIUICI,
N. E. Cornor Second and Arch Blieels,
l'uiL.MiEr.vnlA,
Dealers In
TEAB, BYUUrs, COFFEE, BUOAlt, MOLASSES
hick, sricra, m carb soda, ao., ao.
4fOrdcrs will recelvo prompt attention,
may in.G7.tr.
jLJARVEY R. WALKER,
WITH
HEAR, SCIIROrP A CO.,
importer1) Astn jonnr.r.30F
(UIINA, GLASS ND dUEENSWAUE,
. No. 108 NORTH BECONDST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
SOrlglnnl nbsoikd rncknges of Qucenswnro
coustnntlv on lintid. ii liii'72-tr.
ctwiihi imiiw, i . M.J..I- -vrrw wrrummm
Business Cards.
J II. LITTLE,
ATTOKNEY AT LAW,
Ofiico f'ourt-llouro Allov. bclo-- Iho Colcm
niAN Olllce, llloomsburt! 1'n.
Q B. BROCKWAY,
A1TOIINEY AT LAW,
nt-oostHBUKCi, rA.
ITS' OFrirn Court Houto Alley. In tho Co-
LUJtniAN building. J an I, '67.
Q W. MILLER,
ATlOlliNIiX A'i I,AW,
U1IUIM Ulll, IllHinU ,-,, ll,U VUHUfll-
11IAN Olllce. Homilies, liack-I'ay ami Pensions
collected, llloombbnrg Pa. bcp,'J0'd7
JOHN M. CLARK,
ATTOHNL.I AT LAW.
OFFICE nbovo
Hower's Htorr, Maln slreet,
liloomsborg, Pa.
JOBERT F. CLARK,
ATrOllMlil AT J.AW,
Ollien Main Street below tlie t!onrt Houro.
nioombburg l'enu'a.
FRANK 55ARH
AlTOnNEY AT LAW.
HLOOMSHUItil, PA.-
Olilco Willi J. G. Frce7e,llrowcr's Clock.
din bo consulted In Gorman or English.
inchS'Til-tr
EW STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
1BAIAII IIAOENHUCtr,
Main Street nnn donr aliovrt 7. ATrnilonhnll's
Store
A lnrgo assortment or Stoves, Heaiois and
Haunes constantly on baud, anil lor salo nt tho
lowest rat cs.
xinu in: mail us iranciioscareui lvatteuueuio.
and hatlsfacllon guaranteed.
nu work or an iiiihih wnoics.iio ana rtuui. A
Tlal Is renncsted.
JanP7l
gLOOMSBURQ
III A R II Ja E
ffonK s.
MAIN BTItEET, 1IKI.OW MA11KET,
IILOOMSIIUIIG, l'A,
Monuments, Tombs, Headstones, . Wnrlc
neatly executed. Orders by mnll will lecelvo
special attention, N, H, Woik dellveied fieool
marge,
T. L. OUNTON, l'roprletor.
octi3'7i-tr.
I , u. uox
ARQ AINS B ARO AJNB.
QUICK BAT. KM ANII HHAT.1. VBOt'ITS.
BAY E YOUK MONEY.
Go to
HENKY YOST,
East llloomsburg, Pa., lor all kinds of tho best
home and city niado
F II It N I T U It E .
Prices reasonablo nnd tho beet, work dono.
Jan P7-tr
yULCAN WORKS,
DANVILLE PA.
WILLIAM 11. LAW,
Manufacturer of Wrought Iron llrldgcs, Hollers,
(labholdcrs, Fireproof Buildings, Wrought iron
KoolliiK, Itootlug Frames, Flooring nnd Doors,
Farm Gates and fencing, nlso Wrought Iron pip
ing, Stacks and all kinds ol Smith Work, Ac.
ltepalrs promptly attended to.
N.ll. liiawlugsaud Estimates supplied.
oel27'71-ly.
NEW YOItff, COItlf, AND LIVEIU'OOL.
NEW AND FULL-POWEItED STKAMSHIPS.
THEBIX LAIt(lI'.ST 1NTIIE WOULD.
OCEANIC, CELTIC, ItEPUllLIC.
ATLANTIC. ItALTIO, ADIIIATIC,
O.ouo tons burdeo 3,mt) li. p. each.
Bailing lroiu New Yolk on SATUltDAYS, fiom
Liverpool on THUltSDAYB, nnd Cork Harbor
the day following.
From tho
wuiio
Star Dock, I'avonla Ferry,
Jersev Cltv.
Passenger nccommndatlous (for nil classes)
unrivalled. 0011101111111"
SAFETY, SPEED, AND COMFOltT.
Saloons, btatc-rooms, smoking-room and bath
room8ln inldshln section, wheiu least motion is
fill. Burgeons nnd stewnrdcbsis accomrnuy
llieso blcamers.
Hates Saloon, tSO gold. Steerage, 830 curren
cy. Those wishing to send lor lrteuds from tho
Old Country eon now obtain stoerago prepaid
certificates, 3:1 currency.
Passengers booked to or from nil parts of
America, Paris, Hamburgh, Norway, Sweden,
India, Australia, China, etc.
Excursion tickets granted at lowest rates.
limits lrom xi upwards,
For Inspection of plans and other information,
arply to No. 19 Ilroadway, New York.
J. li. Bl'AHKH. Agent,
np tn ir. iPArmiK '
Or to W. l'EACODE .
Jaulltr
llloomtbnrg.Pn,
B.
ERNIIARD STOIINEB
Would inform lil friends nuil tlioiniLlleth.it
lio Una taUon poschion of
THE OLID STb.3Srr3
In tlio Exchaugo Block, bo long occupied by him
und will carry on tho business of a
FIRST-GLASS BAKERY,
Ho brings totho business on experience ol many
years and assures tho community that ho will
lurnlsli tho bebt of bread, cakes, rolls.blscult, Ac,
fresh every day. Ho proposes nlso to keep on
hand a largo nnd well assorted stock of
FINE CONFECTIONERY',
of nil grades. French candles nud tlioso nl do
inestio inannfacturo.always to bo had, wholcsalo
and retail at lowest mtcs, Adjoining tho Bakery
nud Coulectioucry Is a well established
RESTAUIIANT,
whoro may bo found Alo nnd I.sger, aud Ito
Ireblimcntu, Oysters In season nud tho various
little delicacies which bultthopubllotabto, Thoro
14I11SUU
FINE ICE CREAM SALOON,
over tho conleitlonery store, wliero ladles nud
geutleuicu cau obtain tho best of Ico Cream in
season.
A fair shnro of the public custom Is rcouestcd
nuu uopaiuswiu no bparcu m eiisuiu baiisiae,
tlcjii. iiprll G,'72-tl
BUSINESS CARDS,
VISITING CAIIDS
E'lTEll HEa'dm,
DILL HEADS,
PUOUltAMMES,
POSTEIW,
AU AC,
Neatly nud Cheaply Prlntotl
From the latest Styles of Type at the
OOLUMUIA UfFIOE,
Mincollaneons.
E N T I 8 1' R Y .
II. 0. HOWEIt, DENTIST,
Respectfully oirers his prnfeRslnnnl services to
vno jnuie nun geuucineu 01 iiiooinsuurg nnu vi
clnltv. ltn isnrenared tnnltend innlltlin varl
ous operations In tho lluoof his profession, nnd
Is provided with tho latest impnncd Poiicki.ain
xretji which win no inserieu on gniu piaiing
silver nnd rubber b.iso to look nn well nsf be nab
urnltoetli. Tenth extracted hv fill the new nnrf
mostnnnroved molhods, nnd nil oporntlonn on
the teclli carefullvnnd nronerlv nttended to.
Resilience nud oaico a few doors nlmvo tho
court Hon'iio, snmo side.
Bloomsburg, Jun.1'71 ly
rjpiIE GREAT MAGICAL
HAIR FORCER?
Will fnreo n beautiful Ret nf Whiskers or Mus-
tacho, In from two to threo months, on any per
son over twclvo yenrs old. It Is one of tho best
prepnratlnun to mnko tho whiskers grow that
ever was known. O110 bottlo or it ISBUIllclcnt to
produce a very strong ticnrd. It does not In any
way stnln or Injuro tho skin. Try Itl It Is no
ijiiiiiuiig. i-rico in coins rer uoiuo. seni ny
mall post paid, tn any address, on receipt ol
price. Address WILLIAM C. WAONEIt,
Aiendtsville,
nng.i 7I-ly, Adams County, Ponna
JNS UANOE AGENCY.
Wvowlna 2it.ri
Kliie j.uoo.ooo
Fllltotl N. V 400,000
North Ametli'n 3W.IXO
City 450,0(10
International N.Y 1,41x1,000
NlagiiiHN.Y 1,000.00
Merclinntn Mnnnn
SiiriiiRileld S7O.O0O
Fanneis Danvlllo.N.Y 690,000
Albany city 400.000
Danville, llorso Theft Mutual.
Atlantic, N. Y l,ouo,io
Gtirmaiili, N, Y 600,000
FllEAS BROWN, Apent,
msi21'71 ly. llLoousnnno Pa,
pjINKLEY KNITTING MACHINE
TEE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN
USE I HAB BUT ONE NEEDLE I A
CHILD CAN ItUN IT I
Designed especially for tho use of families, nnd
ndles who dcslro to knit for tho market. Will
do ecry stitch of tho knitting In a stocking,
widening nnd narrowing ns readily nsbylinnd.
Am Mileiulld for worsteds nnd fincy work,
TAKING FIVE DIKKEIIENT KlNTUt ns1
STITCH I Are very ensy to ninnnge, nnd not
llnblo to bct out of order. Every Family should
havo one.
0 wnnt nn Agent in overs' town to lntrodnco
nnd sell lliem.towioiiiwpoin.rtiinmnRt.iiiiMrni
1 lilt 11 CClllCllt H. r,li,l fnr nur Clrnilnr nn,l Unixnln
Stocking. Addiess.
J11ISK1.K1 liNiTTINU MACHINE CO.,
uov. 10,'71-ly. Bath.JIo.
TT C. HO WE P.
lias opened a first-class
BOOT, SHOE, HAT CAP, AND l'UIt STORE.
at tho old stand on .Main Btrcct, llloomsburg.nfew
doors nbovo tho Court House His stock la com
posedol tho very latcstuud bcststyles over oiler
od to tho citizens ol Columbia County. Ho can
accomniodato the publlewillithnfollowlnggoods
at tho lowest rates. Men's honvy donblo uolcd
stoga boots, men's doublo nnd single tnp soled
a, uuuin, mcu a UBfl,j BlU;u KUUCH UIIlll U1I1US.
men's lino boots nndHhoeu of fill crrmten. linv'B
double soled boots nnd, shoes of all kinds, men's
glovo kid Balmoral shoes,mcn's, women's, boys's
nnd misses' lasting gaiters, women's glovo kid
Polish.vcry flnc.wonien's morocco Balmorals and
calf shoes, women's very lino kid buttoned gait-
011. .a biiun uoois 01 ariucscripiious nom pee
gedandbewed.
He would also call attention to his fine assort
ment or
ATS, CAPS, FURB AND NOTIONS.
which comprises nil tho new nnd populai varl
otiesat priceswliichcoiinotralltosultall. These
goods nro otlored nttlio lowest cash rates nnd
will bo guaranteed to give satisfaction. A call
Is solicited boforo purchnslng clsowhcro ns It Is
believed that hetleir bargains nro to bo found
than nt any other piaco lu tho connty.
J 1111 1
rpiIE ORANGE VILLE MANUFAC-
JL 1UK1N11 COMPANY.
ATANUFACTUREKS OK
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS
of Iho most Approved Pultcnis.
joiihinpr,
ami ,'iislliiKS
nl nil descriptions.
DEALERS IN
General Merehnnillso, Lumber, Ac., Ac.
ORANGEVILLE, PA.
Wo would nnnonnco to tho pitbllo In general
that wo have taken tho well known Agricultur
al Wolks of this placo nnd shall make It nnrntm
to mnnutacturo Hist Class Agricultural Imple
ments cnunl tonny other makers ln tho Stnto.
such as
Tlnesliliipr machines,
Doth Lever and Tread rower.
lMiws ol' every Description,
among which will bo tho celebrated
KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO,
acknowledged by all to bo tho best plow extant
lor tbo 1. inner. Also tho
Cliniuploii, Slcins' l'alcnt anil
TI10 3Ioiiliosc.
ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS,
Cultivators,
Iron KtUlcs,
niul Castliigs
nf eveiy descilpllon. Wo bhall 11 so nono but tho
beht iiiiitiilalsnnil employ nono but competent
nud experienced mechanics nud our prices will
compaio iuvornuiy wiiu any oilier manuiaciur
ers. Country Produce, Lumber, Old Iron, taken ln
exchange Wonlholiavoa btoro lu connection
wllh our Agilculturnl Works, where may bo
found a lull assortment of MERCHANDISE
which will bo sold at small profits. Ulvo us a
can bcroro purchasing elsewhere aud wo guar
unteo biitlstactlou,
marchW'72-ly.
Hotels.
rpilE ESVY HOTEL.
ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, TA.
Tho undcrsli-ncd would Inform tho travelling
riublletiiat ho has taken tlio abovo named cstab
Ishmcntnnd thoiongbly refitted tho same for
tlio perfi'ct.'convenlenco of his guests. His larder
will ho stocked Willi tlio best tlio market aflords.
Tho choicest liquors, wlneu nud cigars always to
00 iuuuu in uis uar.
wiiiLiiAM rjsi-rrr.
Espy. Pa
J. THORNTON
.lilt would announcotothocllircusnf Blooms
liurirnud vicinity, that he ha Just lecelvcdn full
and rompleto iibgorlmcnl of
WALL 1'APER, WINDOW SHADES,
wxiuiies, coitna,TAfasLi-s,
nnd another goods in his lino of business. All
tho uowest and most approved patterns of tho
day 11 10 always to botouud luhlsostabilshmeut,
lniir.O.'OJ-tr Main Bt, bolow Maiket,
THE NATION
Its Ruloi'S and Institutions.
IN ENGLISH AND GERMAN,
Nothing llko It, Strikes everybody as Just tho
hook they need. It Is nu Encyelopiedln of tho
Unvermucut, Blngiu pages In It, aro of them
selves worth tho pi li'O or tbo book. OierUMpauci
untl unly t&SO, A Ille'i Harvest forl'anvasseis
ladles aud gentlemen lnrmeis, teachcisand
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PERFECT
COMBUSTION.
SIGNAL LIGHT.
Tho first v'ud only solf-fceding Anthracite Coal
niuyu uvor iiivi'iiiou niul will 1 erieciiy
Cousumonll the gases.
Warranted tho DEBT HEAIINU BTOVK
lu
tho counlrv.
Bend fnr Price List nud Circular to
MITCHELL, Bl'EVENBON 4 CO.,
Hlovo MntiumctnrcTs, I'iltsbiirgb, 1'n.
BLOOMSBUHG, PA.,
Poetical.
An Agctl Strnngcr.
11V BnCT HAnTB,
"I was with Grant" tlio stranger said ;
Bold tho farmer ! "Bay no inoro,
But rest thoo hero nt my collngo porch,
For thy feet nro woary nnd soro."
"I was with Grant" tho strangor said ;
Bald tho fnrmcrt "Nay, 110 moro
I prlthco sit nt my rrugat board,
And cat of iy lmtnblo store."
"How fares my boy my soldlor boy,
Of tho old Ninth Army Corps 7
I warrant lio boro him gsllantly
In tho smoko nnd tho battle's roarl"
"I know him not." said tho ogoil man,
"And, as I remarked boforo,
I was wllh Grant" "Nay, nay, I know,"
Said tho farmer, "Bay no more."
"Ho foil lu battle I boo, alas!
Thoudld'sl smooth tlio tidings n'cr
Nayt speak tho troth, whatever It bo,
Though It rend my bosom's coro;
"How foil ho with his faco to tho foe,
Upholding tho flag ho boro 1
Ol say not that my boy disgraced
Tho uniform that he wore?"
"I cannot tell," said tho ngr d mm,
"And should haTO remarked before,
That I wai wllh Grant-In Illinois
Some throo years before tho war."
Then tho farmer spnko him never a word,
But boat with his fist fall soro
That aged man who had worked for Grant
Somo threo years beforo tho war.
Miscellaneous.
PCUKIXS HAS Till: TOOTHACHE.
When I went (o bed last night I ap
prehended trouble. Along ono sldo
the loft ono occasionally capered o
grumbling sensation. It kopt mo awako
an hour or bo. Irvine to dotermlno
whether that was all thoro was of it, or
whether thero wa3 something to eomo
after that which would need my wako-
ml presence to contond against. Thus
pontlpiiug I fell asleep and forgot all
about tho trouble. 1 don't know how
I slept, but I fell to dotorminlng that I
had mado a match, for $5S a side, to
fight a cross-cut saw lu a steam mill,
and was well to work on tho Job when
tho saw got my head betweon its teeth.
I thought it was a fuvorablo tirao to
wako up, and I did so. It immediately
transpired that I might bettor have
stayed whero I was and taken tho
chances with tho saw.
I found niysolf sitting straight up in
bed, with ono handspasmodlcally grasp
ing my jaw, and tho other swaying to
and fro without any apparent cause.
It was an awful pain. It bored llko
lightning through tho basement of my
jaw, darted across tho roof of my mouth
and then ran lenglhwiso of my teeth.
If every pang had been a drunken plow
chased by a demon across a stump lot,
I (Iilnk tlio observer would understand
my condition. I could no moro cot
hold of tho fearful agony that was
cavorting around in mo than I could
pick up a plcco of wot soap when in a
great hurry.
Suddenly it slopped. It went, giv
ing mo a parting kick that fairly mado
mo howl.
I thought I was rid of tho toothacho,
but a grumbling set in tho noxt morn
ing. It wnsjustllkothofeolingof tho
night boforo,and a still small volcosaid
to rao, 'Look out, Perkins.'
I did. I went right away to tho den
tist who has pulled tho teeth of our
family and know our peculiarities.
Tliero was an unusual smell about his
ofllco ; it was very suggestivo of troublo,
and as I snuffed It in I experienced a
sinking feeling In tho pit of my stom
ach. I looked at him and slcklysmllcd.
Ho was never, oven on a holiday, tho
handsomest of men, but now his ap-
pcarauco was very, very depressing.
Ho looked like a corpso with a lighted
candlo Insido of it.
I told him what tho matter was with
mo ; how I had been up all night with
a four story pain ; how my wifo had
been thrown out of bod by tho vlolcnco
of my suffering ; how
Ho asked mo if I wouldn't sit down.
I sat down on what was onco a hogs
head, but now cut down and nowly
carpeted. Ho held back iny head,
opened my mouth, and wont to llsh
Ing around insido with a pieco of watch
spring.
And whllo ho angled ho conversed.
Said ho:
'You havo caught a terrible hard
cold.'
'I have.'
'It seems the troublo Is with ono of
tho bicuspids.'
Of courso I didn't know what a bi
cuspid was, but I thought it wouldn't
look well In tho head of tho family bo
Ing stutk with so short a word as that j
so I p.skcd him with somo vigor :
'Which ono?'
'Tho tumorous ono, tald he.
'I'm glad it ain't worse,' I replied
with a sigh of relief.
'Tho frontal bono is not seriously af
fected j tho submaxillary gland Is somo
what enlarged, but It docs not neces
sarily follow that parotltus will ensuo.'
'lam proud to hear that,' said I which
I certainly was, although, if tho parotl
tushadcnsucd.lt is not likolythat I
should havo minded It much, unless it
was some th lutr that would spoil, as I
was dressed up In my host.
Ho kopt on taking nu angling.
'Tho cosophugus ain't looso,' ho ro
marked.
'Ah I' said I, winking at him.
'Oh, no, ligaments pro qulto firm. J
might say'
'Did It hurt you ? ho asked, ns cool
and calm as tlio lid of an ico cream
freezer.
'Hurt mo I Great Heavens I Did
you expect to split mo open wllh a
watch spring and not hurt mo? What
was tho matter did you slip?
'Certainly not," ho said, 'I was Just
getting hold of tho tooth. Just hold
your head back nu instant, nnd I will
havo It out nt onco,'
'I guess I won't try it again,' said I
with n shiver. ,Tho ioothacho.is bad
enough, but It Is heaven nlongsldo of
that watch spring, You may como up
somctlmo nnd pull it when I ain't nt
homo. I think I could ondiiro tho
oporntlon If It was off about eight
blocks, Como up when you can.'
FRIDAY, JULY 19,
Anecdote onvilllnm h. JInrcy.
Proctor's "Bench nnd Bar" contains
tho following ancdoto of William L.
Marcy : Thoro was n debating society
connected with tho Adams academy, In
LoIcc8lcr,Mns3achusotts,to which young
Marcy belonged. Though very younir,
ho was ono of tho chlof disputants, but
tho partisan sentiments of tho principal
(Mr. Adams) provallod in thosoclcty. In
tho discussions, Jefferson and his princi
ples wcro often assailed with groat blttor-
ncss. Tho young student admired tho
rising statesman, and ho repelled their
attacks slnglo-handcd and alone. Tho
ability which ho displayed In his do
fenco began to oxort nn Infltionco tn thoi
Institution. At length sovcral of tho
studonta united with him, and Marcy
found himself tho contro of a small but
increasing partji. Dr. Adams saw this
and deemed It his duty to interfere.
Accordingly, ho summoned tho young
man Dororo him for tho purposo of ex
postulating wllh him upon tho courso
ho was pursuing, in ndvanclng his dan
gerous political sentiments. To his sur
prise, ho found tho young Democrat as
firm and unflinching lu his prcsonco as
ho was in tho debate. It was In vain
that tho good doctor reasoned, threat
ened and cajoled. Ho was mot with ar
guments which puzzled him to answer,
and which wcro firmly but modestly
maintained. At longth Mr. Adams saw
that matters mu3t bo brought to a de
cided point.
"Am I to understand, thon," said ho,
"that you aro determined to openly ad
vocato tho causo and principles of that
infidel, Joffersou, horo in this Institu
tion?''
"If I hoar him or his principles open
ly attacked I shall certainly dofond him.
If, howovcr, you will forbid all allusion
to politics hero, I will most cheerfully
subscrlbo to tho rules," said Marcy.
"It Is my duty, sir, to oxpo30 error
nnd wir'lrcduessin all ways, and In every
maunor, and to teach my pupils to do
tho samo, and, therefore, cannot estab
lish n rulo," said tho doctor.
"Then, sir, if you allow ono class of
students to discuss politics, you should
glvo others tho samo privilege," said
tho young man.
"No, sir; not when ono sido proposes
to advocato infidelity and all mannor ol
evil," said tho doctor.
"Who is to bo tho Judgo as to what
political principles aro erroneous?"
askod Marcy.
lam, sir; and to bo plain, you must
abaudon all public utteranco of your son-
timonts hero.'1
"Andifldonotoboy this ordor, what
is to bo tho conscqucnco ?"
"You will bo oxpolled from tho insti
tution, sir," said tho doctor, with somo
warmth.
"This Is bigotry and injustice, Dr.
Adams, and I Bhall Icavo your Institu
tion. My fullinr will sustain mo In re
fusing to romaln whero freo discussion
is not tolerated whero narrow, bigoted
sentiments can bo advanced in tho hear
ing of tlioso who differ from them, and
whero tho prlvilego of replying Is for
bidden ; and as for Mr. Jefferson, his
momory will bo venerated long after
his traducors aro forgotten," said tho
studonr, tho doop glow on his cheek and
tho nro In his oyes evincing tho dopth
of tho fcolings which promptod this
answer. Tho noxt day ho returned homo
and faithfully rolated to I1I3 father all
that occurred botweon himself and Dr.
Adams.
"You did right, just right, my boy,"
said the father. "Novor furl your ban
ner to tho enemies of Thomas Jefferson,
and novor turn your back on tho Demo
cratic ship, which under his command
Is bound 011 a long and prosperous voy-
ugo."
Marcy soon after entered another
academy, whero ho completed his pre
paratory courso, and then entered
Brown University at Providence,
Rhodo Island, whoro in July, 1S03, ho
graduated.
Tho Winking llye.
Wo havo no hcsltantcy In stating that,
among tho able-bodied male adults of
this city, tho very common beverago
known a3 "soda water," which Is dealt
out so unsparingly at every corner
during tho heated term, Is considered,
to U30 their own language, a "thin
drink." But whllo tho Ingenious mix
ture of wind aud water Is termed
"thin," strong liquors, such as wills
koys, aro altogether too "thick" for a
steady warm weather drink; and so
tlio Imbiber who must moisten his Hues
wllh somo liquid refreshment seeks a
pleasant combination of tho two classe3
of drink, which forms a happy com
bination that exhilarates yet Is not In
toxicating. It Is customary among
theso bibulous go-betweens to enter a
drug storo, call for soda water, namo
their syrup, at tho samo tlmo giving a
wink to tho dispenser of "fluids," who
takes tho goblet, in which ho places tho
syrup, then stoops down beneath tho
counter or retires to n back room, whero
by &onio mystorlous chemical chango,
tho contents nro colored darkly, and tho
soda is then let in upon tho mixture.
which Is handed to tho customer wllh
a wink from tho clerk. So much for tho
process ; now for tho sequel.
A vcnerablo gentleman from tho
country, who Is a respected church dea
con, a justlco of tho poaco, n member of
tho "Band of Hopo," nnd a Good
Tomplar In his natlvo village, camo to
Iho city to trado a llttlo In dry goods,
and ptirchaso audi agricultural JmplO'
incuts as ho needed to plant and cult!
vato his spring crops. Tho deacon Is
strictly lempcrato, and novor looks upon
tho wlno when It Is red any moro thau
ho does when It Is ony other color. Un
fortunntoly, our old frlond had suffered
from opthalmla In his early days, which
left him with an optical peculiarity,
which caused his left upper eyolld to
drop ovory fow seconds, and which to
tlioso not familiar with his infirmity
gavo him tho appearanco of winking
intentionally.
Tho Deacon Is passionately fond of
soda water and Biieh light beverages.
Ho loves to feel tho gaseous compound
coursing down his throat, nnd creating
Internal commotions and typhoons,
1872.
0 T ,.
that, howover endurable byoldor per
sons, throw babies into ngony and ro'
qulro prompt doses of peppermint; so
after ho had bought a fow shovels,
ploughs, hoes, ralcc.", and thrashing uiiv
chines, nlso a Dolly Vnrdcn for hlswlfo,
ho thought ho would fill up with soda
water and drlvo on toward homo. Ho
entered n drug storo, Inquired tho prlco
of tho desired refreshment, then do
posited his stamps, and awaited its
mixture.
"What syrup do you want?" said tho
urbano clerk, as ho mopped off tho mar
bio counter wllh tho samo towel ho used
a moment beforo to remove tho honest
sweat from his noblo brow.
"O, clvo mo Bnssaparllla ; that Is
about as healthy as any thing, 1 guess."
(Hero tho Deacon's oyclld went back on
him and dropped quickly.)
"All right," replied tho fountain
tender, a3 he disappeared bolow tho
counter and camo up a moment later
with tho drinking glrss containing
about threo fingers of "sassaparllly," to
which ho added tho other Ingredients,
nnd handed it to tho deacon. Tho lat
ter drained tho contents to tho very
dregs, and then brushed tho froth from
his mouth, smacked his lips, and said:
"That syrup is it lectio stronger than
they generally mako it, but my blood
Is out of order, nnd I guess I'll tako
another glass j" at tho same tlmo his
eyelid fluttered meaningly as boforo.
Tho doso was repeated, and tho soda
water bibber left tho storo. About half
an hour later ho entered another estab
lishment whero a sign announced "So
da and Mineral Water on Draught." It
was noticed tho deacon walked as if lio
had tho spring halt as ho entered tho
door, and his spectacles wcro upsido
down on Ids nose. Ho called for "Con
gross Water" at this placo, saying ho
"did not feel qulto right, and was afraid
ho had used too much syrup In his soda
water at tho other store, or elso ho was
bilious." Ills optical weakness exhib
ited ilsolf as ho spoke, and, returning
tho wink, tho clerk retired to a dark
closet, then returning, filled up a glass
with plain "Congress," and gavo It to
our now "tightually slight" friend, who
swallowed it without a murmur.
How many "sodas" tho deacon stow
ed away boforo ho loft tho city wo aro
unablo to say, but ho was found lato in
tho day asleep In his wagon, with a
plough-point for a pillow, and sovoral
yards of Dolly Vardon calico gracefully
draped about his person as a covering.
Ho revived sufficiently to inform a
stranger that ho had been "drugged,"
and a subsequent visit to tho localities
whoro ho had taken soda-water devel
oped the fact that hisunforlunato habit
of winking n defect over which ho had
no control was tho causo of all his
trouble. Tlio soda-water dispensers
supposed him to bo "ono of tho boys,"
and ovory tlmo his oyclld dropped took
tho hint. Tho deacon escaped the "Jim-
jams," but says hereafter ho will wear
a blinder over that eyo when ho pur
chases summer drinks, or else writohls
ordor 011 a slate. Cleveland Leader.
John Van Huron and Chief Justlco
Tiiiioy.
Nearly n quart :r of a century ago,
tho Legislaturo or Now York enacted
a law Imposing a capitation tax upon
immigrants arriving from Europo and
landing at Quarantine. A question was
raised In respect to tho constitutional
Ity of this law, nnd tho ciso was ulti
mately taken to tho Supremo Court of
tho United Slates. Mr. Seward mado
the argument on 0110 sldo, and John
Van Buren on tho other. Tho trial
attracted considerable interest, not so
much from tho iraportanco of tho ques
tion Involved as from tho reputation
and political position of the opposing
counsel. Mr. Seward was a Senator
in Congress, and tho great Whig loader
of the States ; whilo Van Buren wa3 tho
most brilliant orator and most popular
man on tho Democratic sido. Thoy
wcro rivals at tho bar, havlug thon re
cently been engaged in tho trial of tho
negro murderer, Freeman, at. Auburn,
during which thero had boon much
sharp altercation between them. Tho
Whigs In Congress warmly sympa
thized with Soward, whllo tho Demo
crats woro equally active and zealcu3 in
encouraging VanBureti. Thoargumonts
woro elaborato and able, tho resulting
Impression being that tho Senator was
moro of a statesman than a lawyer, but
that Van Buren was ono of tho most
entertaining, Improssivo, nnd effectlvo
advocates that had over been heard In
tho Court.
Judge Taney presided ono of tho
purest, most learned nnd ablo Judges
that over sat on tho bench. Ho was tho
impersonation of ono's Ideas of tho go
nius of jurisprudence. Ho was shy, rc
served in mannor, ascetic in his habits,
a gloomy, forbidding-looking man, ro
sembllng a monk of tho niiddlo nges;
but under this colds and repulsive oxter
lor thero beat a warm sympathetic
heart. Ho was a literal man, with no
Idea of a joko ; was novor satirical or
ironical, ami detested a pun or a quip
U3 much as Dr. Johnson.
Tho day tho argument was closed,
Van Buren contrived to fall In compa
ny with tho Chief Justlco in coming
down tho nvenuo from tho Capitol.
John had a degreo of coolness and self-
possession under nil circumstances thnt
nothing over disturbed. Willi nn airy,
jaunty mannor, that would havo been
offcnslvo lu anybody elso, but which ho
mado winning and attractive, ho ad
drossed tho aged jurist ;
"I was much Haltered, Mr. Chief Jus
tico, at tho 1: radons nttcntion with
which you listened to my poor effort In
bohnlf of tho suffering immigrants nt
Quarantine." Mr. Taney mndo n fit
ting rcsponso, and Vun Buren cooloy
proceeded : "Far bo It from mo to say
anything rr spcctlng tho decision of tho
Court." Tho Judgo started with a ges
turoor deprecation, as If ho apprehend
ed an indiscretion 011 tho part of tho
lawyor, "I am qulto awaro of tho ap
parent Indelicacy of saying anything
that should look llko nn attompt to
lnlluenco tho action of tho Court,"
Hero thoChlof Justlcogavo a dlssatlsllod
shrug of his ahoulders, intended ns n
robuko of whnt ho regarded as nn iin-
DEM. - - VOL. XXXVI NO. 22,
l rtienco. But John wn.i wholly un
mo ved, nnd went on with his romarks,
as though ho was saying tho most natu
ral and npproprlnlo thing imaginable.
"Nor would I presumo to lntlinatothat
an early decision ol tho enso la desira
ble." Tho Judgo oponod his oyes In
amazement, but remained silent. "But
tho truth Is, your Honor," continued
John, "tho poor dovlls atQuarantlnoaro
perishing dally, and It is of tho utmost
Importance that they should loam
whether thoy nro dying constitution
ally." Appreciating John's wnggory nt Inst,
tho Chief Justice, much roliovcd, gavo
way to a hearty laugh, nnd tho conver
sation camo to an end.
John Van Burcnhad ln him tho mak
ing of n great lawyer and aBtntosman of
commanding power. Ho lacked noth
ing but Industry and steadiness of pur
pose. Quick of perception, with flno
faculties, uncommon logical powers,
and abundant imagination, ho nover
failed to command tho admiring atten
tion of his auditory. "Anecdotes of Pub
lic Men," in July Qalitxy.
Dross or Sclicsl Olrls,
A lady who hps visited Vassar Col
lege, is sovoro on tho mannor of drcs3
In that institution. Tho critic thus
wrllo: "Tho groat drawback to suc
cess lies In tho want of physlquo to start
with, and in tho mlscrablo hablt3 of
dross and diet which thoy bring to four
years of hard work. It Is this, and not
overatudy, which breaks thorn down.
It is a curious circumstance, but It is
true, that students aro hardly over
supplied with sufficient warm clothing
for tho winter scrsor. Nor is it posslhlo
to impress ppron'- with tho nccossity
of providing warm yet light nil wool
garments and fabrk'3, which will resist
cold weather, yet not bo loo burden
some to the wearer. Girls I'tom tho far
West bring drc3Sos of almost tho
samo toxturc for nil tho year round, and
possess neither the requidto undor nor
outsldo clothing for permanent health
and dally comfort. This Is not from
poverty; it is simply want of knowl
edge. Tho girl who Is shivering for th0
want of under garments, warm merino
dresses, woolon stockings, and thick
shors, will havo bracelet1), whito.kld
gloves, and a gold watch, and porhaps
diamond car-rings. Simplicity, con
venience and comfort should character
izo tho dress of collogo students, and It
would bowoll If special attention woro
directed to this matter, and mothers
told exactly what to provldo in tho way
oi dress for their daughters going to
college, and thus avoid what is really a
serious obstacle to continued study.
A Doctor Talcon by Surprise.
On Friday morning, Dr. John H.
Holt, of Hillsborough, Md., was called
on to visit a patient in tho country.
When ho returned, knowing ho had to
visit another soon, ho loft his medicine
chest under tlio seat of his carringe.
Lato in tho afternoon ho hitchod his
horse to his carrlago and visited his
patient. Finding ho had need to ad
minister a romedy not in the houso ho
wont to his carrlago to got his modlcino
chest. To Ids astonishment, when ho
touched it, it felt soft and fuzzy, nnd a
humming noiso that proceeded from
under tho seat of his carrlago told him
too plainly that something was wrong.
Further examination provod that a
swarm of bees had "pitched" on tho
doctor's medlcliioche3twhiloIu his carri
age -house. Ho had innocently riddon
half-a-mllo in tho country with tho
b3 immediately undor his scat; ho
could not bo persuaded to rido back in
tho samo fashion but unhitched tho
tho liorso from tho carriage, led tbo
horso to town, aud got n boy to pull
tho carrlago and bees after him. That
ovoning tho doctor had a beo-guin pro
pared, and "hivod" tho intrudors, thus
recovering possession of his medlclno
chest, to tho great joy of his numerous
patients. This si ono of tho most singular
freaks that wo over hoard of bee3 com
mitting. Easlon Star.
A citizen of Wilmington, N, C, who
had a grtulgo against another man
named Smith, took advantage of a law
against storing nitro-glycorlno and
other expiosivo compounds within Iho
city limits, and informed tho authori
ties that Smith had largo quantities of
protoxyd of hydrogen secreted iii an
outhouse In his yard. Two policemen
proceeded to Smith's to investigate ; a
conflict ensued, and after tho officers
had bcalcn Smith sufficiently, thoy laid
him on tho sofa and started for tho
yard, whero thoy only found tho ico
houso packed fill'. It occurred to them
then to go around to tho drugstoro and
ascertain tho naturo of tho concealed
protoxyd of hydrogen, so that they
would know It when thoy would sco It.
They learned it was merely Ice. Smith
has now brought six or seven suits
ogalnst tho city for damages ono for
each ruined arm, leg, head and nose; but
all tho policemen aro studying chemis
try.
A Paris correspondent tells this story:
A boy of thirteen, found fighting, was
taken to bo shot. Ho took a silver
watch from his pocket and cried out
"Captain do lot mo tako this first ton
friend across tho Mreot ; 1 borrowed it
"O you scamp!" said tho officer, I
understand you you want to rim off."
"My word of Junior, 1 will como back
again," whl tho boy, and tho captnln,
Boeing It was n child, was only to glad
to ho rid of him. In ten minutes tho
boy camo back and look his stand with
his faco to tho wall, "Hero I am
firol" Tho cnptaln boxed tho llttlo
hero's cars nnu ordered him nover to
show his faco thero again, Thoy could
not ilro on him,
A negro witness, on n liorso trial in
Now Jersey court, was asked to explain
tho dlffercnco between n box stall aud a
common stall. Straightening himself
up, ho pointed to tho bquaro enclosure
in which tho judgo was Boated, and
said 1 "Dat ar's what I calls a box stall
dero whar tlat old boss Is sitting I" It
took ti good many raps of tho Judgo's
gavel to rastoro order In that court.
One lnrli, (twelve tines or it onulvnloul In
Nonpareil typelone or lwolnsertloas,l,50tliite
Insertions, liUO
RPAOE.
1M. SM. 3sr,
e IV.
JS.00 110,10
Olio Inch II"'
turn
7.00
Two inches ajui a.ikj
Til r no Indies 6.CU 7.U0
12,01) IS CO
17.00 21.(0
u,w n,i o
K7iir Inches .7.00 u uo Il.no
(iuortor column lo.w 12,() H,oo
Half colnmn 1S.CU 1SJKJ SO.00
ai.a) ao.to
80,00 00,(0
Olio coiumu 90,00 M,W 10,00 00,M 100,10
RTnenlit'a nr Administrator's Notlco. tl.10
Auditor's or Assignee's Notice), 2,60.
Local notices, twouly cents a line.
Cards In tho "IVuslnes Directory" colnmn,
12.00 tier year for tbo flrtt two linos. unil 11.00 for
cadi additional lino.
Humorous.
"A thing of beauty Is a Joy forever."
Is It. my boy? Marry It, and you'll
find It Is very much' tho roverse.
l'unch.
A pair of Now Haven parents aro
afflicted with n boy that doacn't stop,
whistling oven In his sleep.
If you should bo asked when 11 cat Is
llko 11 teapot, you might roply, "When
you'ro Icasln' It."
An Illinois paper thinks sovontcon
year locusts aro so-called, becauso thoy
como around Bovcntccn times a yoar.
A Chicago dry goods dealer adver
tises "Tho most alarming Bacrlflcoslnco
tho doys of Abraham and Isauc."
A thousand dollar Kentucky bull re
cently undertook to atop a locomotive.
Tho horns, hldo and tallow nro for
salo.
A Western paper, nlludlng to tho
stntuo of Shakosporo In tho Contral
Park, Now York, says : "Thai's right,
such talent ns William's ought to bo
encouraged."
A Boston paper states that sovoral
quarts of vest buttons wero found on tho
lloor of ono of tho public halls in that
city after a humorous lecturo had been
delivered tho provious ovenlng.
Mr. Hart, of Utlca, being unexpect
edly visited by four ladlcj. each of whom
claimed to bo his lawful wlfo, mado a
preclpltato exit through n second-story
window. Ho was evidently tho victim
of too much Hart.
He-nover-wcops is tho namo of Red
Cloud's only brother, and somo of tho
papers disrespectfully speak of him ri
Old-Dry-Up.
A Paterson boy put a lighted match
Into a nearly empty powdor keg, to see
what would happen. He won't do so
again, as Ids curiosity is satisfied, but
tho girl who sits next him in school
thinks he looked hotter with his noso
ou.
A California farmer cau walk twenty
seven miles in a straight line without
going off his own property. A rival
add, "So can wo, wo bought our shoes
and paid for thorn."
A Chicago papor rcceivoJ n letter
from a lady which read as follows :
"Why Is it that that doar Lord Byron
who used to write such beautiful, beau
tiful poetry, kcop3 so quiet lately?"
A day or two slnco a telegraphic dis
patch informed tho amazed readers of
tho Brooklyn Eagle that a bridge in
Now Hampshiro had been carried away
by "a drovo of hogs." Tho sentence
should havo read "a drive of logs."
A Maryland woman who had bcon
bereft of speech for over five years, sud
denly recovered hor voice last Sunday
in church. Sho thinks it n special mir
acle from heavon in her behalf, but her
husband well, mon aro always unbo
Hoving wretches.
Tho rising generation "age" rapidly
in Detroit. A mature specimon of the
feminino gender and eight years old,
wa3 hunting about tho police stations
for a Btray father tho other night. "You
soo," sho remarked, with filial exulta
tion, "tho guv'ner's a littlo.wild yet,
but he'll grow out of it."
A car 0 has Just occurred in Michigan
In which n dead man, while undergoing
tho operation of shaving, sat up nnd
distinctly romarked, "What is tho mat
tor of mo, Frcmm ? I feoi very queer,"
and then lay down again and was dead
as boforo. It was very unpleasant for
tho barber.
An Indianapolis man wrltos to his
favorito paper : "Plcaso say to tho par
ly who mado an attompt to burglo No.
fJ8 North Mississippi street, botweon
tlio hours of two und threo o'clock this
morning, that If his prcsont Infirmity
does not interforo with his doing so, to
mnko ono moro trial at hi3 earliest con
venience, and bring his winding sheet
and coffin plates along with him. I
havo his burial cortlflcato ready signed
by Smith and Weston in six volumes."
At Lynn, Mass., all comparisons aro
based upon shoo loathcr. A cobbler,
havlug applied for admission to an Or
thodox Cnurch at that placo, tho dea
cons helil a consultation ovor tho candi
date. Says ono deacon to another:
"Well, deacon, Bob G wants to join
our mooting." "Yes; do you know
anything against him?" "Well 110.
But before you tako a final voto on him ,
I'd Just llko to show you a Job of cob
bling ho did for mo, that's all."
In St. Paul, a young man troatcd his
sweetheart to tho circus, and accidental
ly uecamo separated irom ner. After
searching distractedly for half an hour,
ho discovered his adorod Imbibing lorn
onado with a rival. Jerking off his
coat ho was soon engaged with his hated
enemy ln a rough nnd tumbled fight.
Tho damsel looked coolly on, as they
gouged each other's eyes, and finally
remarked: Fight it out, you chaps;
I'm going with tho feller who'll t.Uco
mo to tho show to-night."
.V few davs slnco ono of our nomilur
attorneys called upon another member
of tho profession, and asked his opinion
upon n certain point of law. The law
yer to whom tho question was address
ed, draw himself up and said, "I g. n
orally got paid for telling what I know. '
Tho questioner drew a half a dollar
lracuotiai" irom mspocuet. and hand
ed it to tho other, and coolly remarked :
" j.eu mo an you khov, pnti givomc Hie
change" Thoro is a 1 . 'dncss botMM ti
tlio parties now.
At Sharon. N. Y".. recently, a uretlv
Shnkcrcs3 eloped with a young Shaker,
greatly surprise ami iinugnauon of tlio
Community. Tho runaway couple wero
ionowcu, uui tno pursuers lounu unit
thoy wcro too lato, as tho happy couplo
had been made man and wife. Tno
lady, lu answer to tho'nngry expostula.
tlons of her friends, Is reported to havo
said : " You can mako yo u r apple sass an d
warrant it to Keep; ntr gais ain't ap
ples, and you can't bllo 'em down so
thoy won't sour on your old rules about
marrying."
Dr. Chapman told this story tho other
day to illustrato tho opinion somo men
havo couccrnlng religion : A pious old
Kentucky Deacon Shelby, was famous
as a shrewd liorso trader. Ono day
farmer Jones went ovor to Bourbon
county, taking his black boy with him,
to trado horses with brother Shelby.
After a good deal of dickering, they
finally mado a trado, aud Jim rodo tho
now norso nomo. "wasn't your mas
ter afraid tho deacon would get tho bust
of him hi tho trado V" asked somo of
tho deacon's neighbors, as Jim rodo
past. 'Oh no 1' replied Jim as I1I3 oyes
glistened with a new Intelligence,
"Massn knowed how deacon Sholby has
dun got kinder pious lately and ho was
cn his guard 1"
A Gorman poet has lately published
a touching poem, in which, howover,
somo trilling inaccuracies In geography
appear. Tho horo is represented ns do
vourcd by on alligator undor n palm
tree on tlioslioroof LakoErlo In Amer
ica. Tho hcrolno hoars of tho terrlblo
fnto of hor lovor, down lu tho overglndiM
of Florida, noar tho banks of Lako Su
perior, whoro sho Is living, and rushes
down South to Lako Erlo nnd lays in
wait for that crocodllo, captures him,
cuts him open, oxtracts tho bonoa of hor
dead lover, purchases a rich coffin, und
has him intorrcd in magnllllccnt Htylo
lu Grconwood t'omctery, in Now York,
in tho Stnto of Bt. LouK
I