t (IkrhtwMim
RATES OP ADVERTISING.
AND
H PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING
ttfTltlt COLUMBIAN UUII.MNO rtCAttTTiE
counT itounic, liLooiianuno, va nr
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
r.Diton and rnornir.Ton.
Tcrras--Two Dollars a Tear payable In advance.
JOD PRINTING
OMUdcscrlptlons executed with neatness onil
I11PUICU III rCKSUUHUlU to
Oolnmbia County Official Dirootory,
iVrjioitiidoc-Wtt.I.IAM Kt-WKLU
Morta(Jiie-IiiASi Utmt, Isaao 8. Mon-
""voAonoran.rff.-nonoLnt II. RtNai.i-.il.
HeoUterA Beoriler-Wii.i.iAMgoN I1.JAC0BT.
Dhtrtrt Attorney UltYBON, Jn.
Kirrtyr-AAiio.-e hMITll.
tiuntuor Ikaao DitwITT.
aVeimirrt William Lamon.
tMfimOXntirtl I 1HVH llOUMMi, II 111 A 51 J.
11m urn. wilmamkiiah-eh
Oommtultmtrt' vttrk William KnirKiiACM,
Auditor V , .1. I'ASirUELL, 1IAN1KL LKE.
CirAin.m C'uNHKii
toroner-CHAiii.M O. MunrtiY.
Jvm O"nmlssloncrs IbaaoMrDmde.JoiikMo
A NAM..
lounw A'ncrtti(fin(rnf-C"lJAlil.ES G.BAnKLKt
i.cim 'rt-r JWrfef-Dlrectors, B. H. Mtt.LRn
Wlll.lAJt KlLA5tl.lt, Bloorasburg, anil JohnboM
Iia.i.iit, Giee-nuootf, ciiAiitis CoNKEn.scc'y.
Elconisuurg Official Directory.
llttitmlvrg llanllnn Co. Jotire A. Funstom
1'itf We lit, 11,11. Ukotz, Cuisliler.
lint Xattonat Hank-VUAH. 11. PAXTon.Pres'l i
J. r.'Jt'KTIM.Cnrlilcr.
(X'iitnilrHiuiitvMiitualSaHnfflmt!ttnaTAanjfi
tocitittonV. II. Little, l'rcs't., C. W. Miller,
fcec'j,
llluvnitlvrn llulhllnn ami &11I117 tinrl jtfioeta.
((on l'r.Acocn, Pros't., J.B. HonisoN.Bec.
lllomtiluro Mutual baiiiuj 7Vnl AssoHmion
J, J, liioWKit, Pie sklent, C. O. IIAKKI.KY, Hro'y,
Bloomoburg Directory.
1)Al'l.nilAOft JitM locel.ca nnil lor sato (it the
C01.UM111AN onicc.
CLOTHING, &o.
1)
AVID LOWKNllHItO, MerchantTiillor.Mnln
Bl.,nuovo Aiucricuii iiuuhu
WM. MOUIilH, SlerdiantTnllor corner of Cen
tre nnil Main St., over Miller's store,
DltUOS, "oilEaflOALS, i'c.
If V. I.UTZ, DriiKnUtandApothcoary.JlaliiBt.
'1, below the Post Olllce. 'J
OLOOKS, WATCHES, AO.
CK, HA VAOU, dealer In CloeljB, Watches anil
Jewelry, Miilu st Jut below tho Aincrlctin
lloiuie.
f OUIS nHUNHAKI), AVntch anil Clock rnolccr
11 nearKoutheantcorner Main and Iron sts.
R.
CATIICAUT, Walch and Clock Maker.Mar
kot ktrcct, below Main,
B(JOT8 AND HHOE8.
If M.KNOUIt, Dealer In Hooti and Bhocn, latest
'j. and btsl stylen, corner Main and Market
hirntp, in tho old 1'ostOfllco.
I)
AVID 11ETZ, Boot and Shoemaker, Main St.
below llartman'H store, west of Market.
HI3NUY KLElM.Mimuf.icturer and dealer In
Hoots and Hhoes, Groceries, etc., Main street,
bast lUooraBburs.
PROFESSIONAL.
Dr.. 11. C. HUWElt, Hurceon Dentist, Main St.,
above tho Court Houso.
D
WM. M ltl'.HKH. HurL-coti and l'hrslclan.
Ufllco over tho Flist National Hank.
CO. 11AKKLEY, Attorney-at-Lw. Office, 2d
. Moor In Kiclmugo lllock, near the "Kiclmnst
Hotel."
J 11. McKELVY.M. D.,Surgeoii and rhyslclau
, north side Main st., below Market.
r O. ltOTTEIt, M. I). Burgeon and Physician
IarUet street, abovo Main.
t 11. KOlllSON, Attoruey-at-Low, Ofllcellort
1), man's building, Main street.
Dlt. U, Y. KINNEY, Burgeon Dentist. Teeth
extracted without pain: Main st nearly op
osltu Episcopal Church,
Jit. r.VAKH, M. D.. Burgeon nnd Physician,
. south side Main street, below Market,
Dlt. A. TUUNElt, l'hj slclnn a'ld Burgeon, of
llco over Klclm's Drua Htoic, residence one
iloir below Hov. D. J. W aller.
MILLINERY & FANCY GOODS.
EPETERMAN, Millinery and Fancy Goods,
, oppoHllu Episcopal Church, Main st,
M
IBB LIZZIE UAItKLEY, Milliner, ltamsey
buuuing xuain sircei.
M
IBM M. DEltUICKSON, Millinery and Fancy
Goods, Main St., below Market.
11H. JULIA A. & BADE UAItKLEY, Ladle"'
M Cloaks and Dress Patterns, southeast corne'
ft.nl, .,,,.1 Vl'roi, lit.
mllE MISSES 1IAUMAN Millinery and Fancy
1 Goods, Main St., below American House,
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
T.'OltKB HOTEL, by T. Dent. Taylor, east end
1 o! Main street.
MERCHANTS AND GROCERS.
C. MARK, Dry Goods and Notions, south'
west comer Main and Iron sts.
T.'OX WEII11, Confectionery and Bakery,
I1 wholesale and retail, Exchange Block.
u
C. IIOWEIt. HntsendCapB. Boots andShoes,
. Main St., abovo Court Uonsn,
Jit. MAIZE, Mammoth Grocery, lino Gro
. rerles. Fruits, Nuts Provision, &c., Main
and Centre HtreelB.
Ml KEI.VY, NEAL A CO., dealers In Dry Goods,
Groeerlcs, Flour, Feed, Bait, Fish. Iron, Nails,
etc.N. E. cor. Main and Market sts.
rt II. MILLER & SON. dealers In Dry Goods,
Q. Groceries, (lueeusware, Flour, Salt, Shoes,
i-touons, ciCAiuinsu
MISCELLANEOUS.
0.
M. CHRIKTMAN, Saddle, Trunk A Harness,
maker, Bhlve's Block Main Street.
D
W. ItORUINB.llQUordealerBccond door from
nortuwesi corner juain uuu iron sis.
EJ. THORNTON, Wall Paper, Window Shades
. and fixtures, iturert block. Main st.
n W. ("ORKI.L, Fumlturo RooniB, threo story
U' brick, Main Bireei, wesi 01 Aiaraci si.
Tl ROSENSTOCK.Photographer.overRobblns
ur ttyer s hiore, plain si.
I H. KUIIN.dealerln Meat, Tallow, etc., Chem.
1 berlln's alley, rear of American House,
QAMl'EI. JACOBY, Marble and Brown Stone
kiworus, uasi jiioomsuurg.uerwicK ruuu.
M. ItABU, dealer In furnllnre, trunks, ceder
v mow waru, uear mu rurus uoiei.
If 11. BIDLEMAN, Agent for Muuson's Copper
ljTuuuiar i.igniumg i
ltod.
n FOSTER, Glue Maker, and White and Fancy
, Tanner, Bcottown,
vrOTE liOOKH. and blank NOTES, with or with
jM out exemption, for sale at the Colusiuian
uuice.
Catawissa,
B
F. DALLMAN, Merchant Tailor.Becond St,
uoouins- uuuuing.
D
R.J, IC. R011UINB, Burgeon and Physician
neenna Ml,, ueiow main.
nlLUEKT & KLINE, dry goods, groceries, and
vj general mei cuanuiso. iaiu nireei
B. KISTLER, "Cattawlssa HouBe," North
. Lumer aiaiu anti necouu nireeis.
LKEILER, Blllard Saloon, Oysters, anil Ico
. Creuui In season Main St.
MM. BROBST, dealer In General Merchandise
. Dry Goods. Groceries Ac.
OlIHOHEHANNA or Brick Hotel. H. Knsten
10 bander Proprletor,south-eost corner Main and
ducuuu nircei.
w
M, II, ABBOTT', Attorney at law, Main St.
Light Streot.
II
tlooi
., abovo Hchool House.
TOIIN A.OMAN, Manufacturer and dealer lu
j iiuuiu uuu on oca
n B. KNT, dealer In move and Tin ware In
xv uit 11
1 1U brauchui.
11 i 1 iiiviiuiHt urua-t iu nit HlllUHUl
Oii.Jn, Hour, lid, Ac. All kind ofUrulu
1 l Tin 1 v m tnin r.-.i .i.nin. 1 !...
I'llHHUIKUi
Espy.
,1 D. WERK1IE1HKR, Boot and Bhoo Bloreand
-' inanuiuoiory. uuop on Main Street op.
ir-uai.v mu aicHiu mill.
fl W. EDGAR, Susquehanna I'lanlng Mill
Buck Horn,
M
G.&W. H. SHOEMAKER, dealers In ury
COOUB. trrncfilerlffl ntul uriidrnl mnroiiatiiUa
VOLUME VIi - - - NO 13.
Orangovillo Directory,
II. HERRING ft BROTIIER.Carpentersand
Builders, Main st,, below Pine.
RICK HOTEL and refreshment Baloon, by
Rohr M'Henry cor.of Main and Plnest.
R. O. A.MEGAltaEL.PhyslclanandBurgeon
Main at,, next door to Good's Hotel,
AVID HERRING. Flour and Grist Mill, and
Denier in gralniMHI Street,
AMES 11. HARMAN. Cabinet Make and Un
iienauer. Aiain hi., ueiow I'ino.
CHUYLER & CO., Iron founiiers.MachlnUtB
nuu Ainuuiaciuicrs 01 plows, win St.
AM UEIjBHARPLESB, Maker of the Hay hurst
Grain cradle. Main St.
w
ILLIAM BELONG 8hoemakcrant manufac-
lurcroi lirick, Mill Hi., west of I'ino
Philadelphia Directory.
JOHTI0UI.2UIlAIi ZXALZi
lieslanrant anil Biiiii Rooms.
FRANK SMITH, Proprietor.
PHILADELPHIA,
N. B. The location U central, thn anslslantj,
tleutive, and the tables supplied with Ihu best
he mnrlcL iiUiiriln. frrili nmf tvrll rnnlf pil. (ltvn
li t III R Cllll.
T M. ICEPIIEATIT.
O O WITH
BARNES, BRO. & HERRON,
HATS, CAPS, STRAW GOODS & FURS,
No, 603 Market Street,
(Abovo Fifth,)
PHILADELPHIA.
WllULEHALLi UltUClilUi,
N. E. Corner Second and Arch Streets,
rnn.Anr.i.riilA,
Dealers In
TE.VS, SYRUPS, COFFEE, SUGAR, MOLASSES
nice, sricra, ni cakii boda, dc, .to.
3-0rders will receive prompt attention.
may 10,67-tf.
H
ARVEY B.' WALKER,
wm:
SCUROPP
ME All.
& CO.,
imronTEHS and jonnnnaof
CHINA, GLASS AND QUE EN3W ARE,
No. 108 NORTH SECOND ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
A9-0rlglnal assorted packages of Oneenswaro
constantlr on hand. ieb2i'72-tf.
Business Cards.
H.
LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Ofllrn PolirUTTnnsfi Allev.
below tho Colum
ian Ofllco, Bloomsburg l',a
n B. BROCKWAY,
V.
All UK.N tu X AT Li A V ,
iiLOOMsncna, pa.
ir- Office Court Houso AUer. In the Co-
LUMiirAN building. Jan4,'67.
c.
W. MILLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
OlTlco Court House Alley, below the Coltjm
lANnnice. Itountles. Hucii-Phv and Pensions
collected. Bloorasbure Pa. Bep.2U'(J7
TOIIN M. CLARK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Ofllro wllh John G. Freeze. Eta.. Browcr's
Bullillug, Bluonnburg.
r OBERT F. CLARK.
IX
AilOltaiiX AT LAW,
Ofllco Main Street below the Conrt HouBe,
Illoomsburg Penn'a.
CHARLES C. LEIDY,
ATTOIlXEY.A'r-I,AW.
OFFICE ON OAK STREET, MOUNT OAHMEL.
NOBTHUMnEIlLAND COUNTY, PA.
Collections promptly made. Conveyancing
fully executed alii another business conned
I with his nofesslon carelullv attended to in
ties. ms.ls71.ll.
.Moniour. xtunuumucrianu aou uuiuiiium vuuu
jq-EW STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
1HA1A11 UAUItllJUll,
Main Street one door abovo E. Mendenuall'i
Mlnrp.
A largo assortment or Btoves, Heaters ana
Itauces constantly on hand, and for sale at the
owesi rules.
Tinning Inall its branches carefully attended to,
anil Kntlsfnrlinn f-tiFLrniitwrl.
Tin work of all kinds wholesale nna retail. A
lal Is rcauestcd.
Jan P71
LOOMSBURG
31 A II II I. U
W O It It S.
MAIN STREET. BELOW MAUKET,
BLOOM&UURG, PA.
Mnnumenls. Tombs. Headstones. c. Work
neatly executed, Orders by mall will receive
icciui niieuiiou. n. 11. wora iieuvereu iree 01
large. T. L. GUNTON, Proprlfloi
octis'7i-tr. l'. o. Box an.
"yETERINARY.
Auuutsr Fuii;nu,
late frcm Germany, offers his services to tb
uuuc us n ceieuraieu
HORSE AND COW DOCTOR,
ud nil other animnle. for which his charces are
moderate. Ho can always be round east Hide ol
Hcrw ick road, nearH. II. Jncoby'u Marble l ard
uiuuiuBuuri;, amy a, l&u-ii.
B
ARGAINS BARGAINS.
QUICK SALES AND SMALL PHOFITa.
SAVE YOUR MONEY,
Go to
East Bloomsburtr. Pa., for all kinds of the best
ugmu uuu cny niuuu
FURNITURE.
Prices reasonable and ths bo" -"irk done.
Jan P7i tf
c
BURLING CREAJI.
By using this article Ladles and Geutlemen
can beautlly theniselveB a thousand fold. This
is iuo ouiy arucio uuu win cun siraigtu nair,
and at me same lime givetn it a heuutlml ap
pearance, It also Invigorates, beautliles and
cleanses. It can be so applied as to causo the
hair lo curl any length
01 11:
lie desired. Sent
AliK-L-n irnwuurvv
Mlddletown, Adsmjs Co., Pa.
septni-Cm.
yULOAN WORKS, .
U A JM V ILiUE
PA.
WILLIAM II. LAW,
Manufacturer of Wrought Iron Bridges, Boilers,
Gasholders, Fireproof Buildlugs. Wrought Iron
Rnotlug, Roofing Frames, Flooring and Doors,
Farm Gates and fencing, also Wrought Iron pip
ing. Blades and an kluds of Kinitti won:,&o.
Repairs promptly uttendod 10
is . 11 itrawuiKs un juiiimaies suppiieu,
oet27'71-ly.
NEW AND FULI.-POVVERF.n HTKAUSllIPa,
THE BIX LAItGKH'P IM Til 1'. Wnltl.1l.
OCEANIC. CELTIC. REPUHL1U.
A'J-1"AT1U, "AI.Tip, ADRIATIC,
v.ww .una uu.i.uu o.wm 11. j. racu.
Rnlllue from New York nn HATillt 1 , & va rmn.
Liverpool on THURSDAYS, and Cork Harbor
the day fol owing.
From tho White Star Dock, Vavonta Ferry.
.Tprscv Cltv. '
Passenger accommodations (for all classes)
Saloons, state-rooms, smoking-room and batk
ntirsi i ai t.ai, a,ii Uldir uur.
rooms In midship section, where least motion Is
icil, nurgcuua uuu EMiHurucs.ea accompany
RATES-Saloo'n, ISO gold,
ev. Those wlshinc to se
Rteeraee. tSOrnrran.
Those wishing to send for friends from tho
Old Country can now obtain stesrago prepaid
VVl,Mlt. . Jtl VUll.UVJ,
Passeneers booked
to
or from all parts of
America, Paris, Hamburgh, Norway,
burifh. Norwav. Sweden.
Excursion tickets granted at lowest rate,
Drafts from 1 unwsrds.
For Inspection or nlana 1
plans und other lnformstlon,
apply to No. ID Broadway, New York,
uwur, new 1 oru,
J. II. Hl'A lll.'H Aunl.
Or to W. PEACOCK,
Janlltf
Bloomtkure, Po
Mincollancouo,
jENTIBTRY.
H. O. IIOWEIt. DENTIST,
Respectfully offers his professional services to
the ladles and gsntlemen of Illoomsburg and vl
clnlty. Ho Is prepared to attend to all the van.
ousoperatlons In the llnoof his profession, and
Is provldod with the latest Improved Porcelain
Teeth which will be Inserted on gold plBtlng
silver and rubber base to look as well fistlin nnr,
ural teeth. Teeth extracted by all the new an J
most unproved methods, and all operations on
tho teeth carefully nnd propeily attended to.
Residence and ofllco a lew doors ahnvo the
Court House, samo aide.
Illoomsburg, Jan.1'71 ly
HE GREAT MAGICAL
II A I II I? o n C K K I
Will forco n. beanllful set of Whiskers or Mus
tacho.ln from two to threo months .on any per
son over twelvo years old. It Is ono of Iho best
preparations to in nit 0 tho whiskers grow that
ever was known, One bottleor It lssulllclcnt to
produce a very strong beard. It does not In any
way stain or lnjuro the skin. Try It I It is no
humbuK. Price S5 ccntB per bottle. Bent by
mall post paid, tn any address, on receipt oi
pilcc. Address WILLIAM o. WAGNER,
Areudtsvllle,
ous.i 71-ly, Adams County, Pcnna
RANGE AGENCY.
Wyoming .. itll.M-
"."in 1 ((mus.
Fulton N, 4)0,010
NorlhAmcrl.f sttn.ao
city
International N.Y .. l,4tUW
Niagara N. Y. ....,. 1,000.00
Merchanta Mivooo
Hprlngceld 570.CH)
rarmers- uanviiie.N.Y coojifo
Albnny City 00.oe0
Danville, Horse Theft Mutual.
Atlantic, N. Y. I.msmxu
Germanla, N. Y" - .. 600,000
FREAB BP.OWN. Agent,
oiM2!'7l-ly. Bloosboho Pa.
J.JINKLEY KNITTING MACHINE
THE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND BEfeT IN
USE! HAS BUT ONE NEEDLE! A
CHILD CAN RUN IT!
Designed especially for llio use of families, and
allies who dcblre toknlt lor the market. Will
do c cry Mitch of Iho knitting In a stocking,
widening and n arrowing ns readily as by hand.
Are splendid for worslrds nnd fancy work,
TAKING FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS Oh'
STITCH I Are very easy to manage, and not
llablp to jet out of order. Every Fumlly should
havo one.
We wont nu Agent In every town to Introduce
and sell them, to whom we oiler Iho most liberal
Inducements. Hend lornureMrciiinrnnii Snnmia
Stocking. Address. ,,,
HINIILEY KNITTING MACHINETCO.,
nov. lii,'7l-ly. Bath, Me.
SO. IIOWER,
ipened a first-class
BOOT, BUOE. HAT CAP. AND FUR BTORE.
at the old stand on SialnStrcet, Bloomsburg,afew
doors abovo the Court House. His stock lscom
posedof tho very latestand beststyles ever offer
ed to the citizens of Columbia County. Ho can
accommodate the public with thofollowlnggoods
at the lowest rates. Men's heavy double soled
stoga boots, men's double and single tap soled
Kip uoois, men s neavy sioga shoes of all kinds,
men's fine boots and shoes of all grades, boy's
double soled boots nnd, shoos of all kinds, men's
glove kid Balmoral shoes,men'B, women's, boys's
and misses' lasting gaiters, women's glovo kid
Polish very rlue.wumen'B morocco Balmorals and
calf shoes, women's very fine kid buttoned gait
ers. In short boots ol all descriptions both nez
ged and sewed.
He would also call attention to his fine assort
ment of
ATS, CAPS, FURS AND NOTIONS.
which comprises nil the new and nnnuint vnri-
etlcsat prlceswhlchcannotfalltosuitall. These
goous aro onerea ai me loweBi casn rates and
win ue guaranieeu 10 give satisfaction. A call
Is solicited before purchasing elsewhere as It Is
believed that better bargains are to be found
lima awiuy oiuer piaco in ine couniy.
rpiIE ORANGEVILLE MAN UFA C-
JL lUlllKUUUll'A.M.
MANUFAcnunnns of
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS
of tho most Approved Patterns.
.11111 Genriiii;,
Jobbing,
a 11 el Castings
of all descriptions.
DEALERS IN
General Merchandise, Lumber, Ac., Ac.
ORANGEVILLE, PA.
We would announce to tho public In general
that wo have taken the well known Agricultur
al Works of this place nnd shall mnko it our aim
10 mauuiacturo First Class Agricultural Imple
ments equal to any other rankers in tho Stale,
such as
Threshing KInclilncH,
Both Lever and Tread rower,
Plows of every Ilcscrintion,
among which will bo tho celebrated
KNOB MOUNTAIN nERO,
acknowledged by nil to be tho best plow extant
Cliamnion, Stents' Patent and
The Montrose.
ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS,
Cultivators,
Iron llctllCH,
a 11 el Castings
of every description. Wo shnll use noaobut the
be-t materials und employ nono tut cempotent
auu expeneuceu meciiumcs uuu uur prices win
coiupuru liivoruuiy wiui uuy oiuer uiiiuuiuciur
rrs. Country Troduce. Lumber. OM Iron, taken In
exchange. Wenlsnhavoa store In connection
with our Agricultural Works, where mnv be
found a full assortment of MERCHANDISE
which will be sold nt Ninsll profits. Give us a
call beforo purchasing elsewhero una wo guar
aniee saiisiiiciion
WM. JOHNSON, W. II. SMITH.
President. Secretary,
rairch'i!'7J-lr.
Hotels.
MONTOUR HOUSE
RUPERT, PA.
WILLIAM BUTLER, Proprietor,
This Househavlne been mitln thorough renalr
is now open for the reception of guests. No
lanis win oe spared 10 ensure ine perieci com
tin of tho travelers. Tne Pronrletor solicits f
stocked at all times with hue liquors and cigars.
jum-ji
JENTON HOTEL.
W. F. PIATT, Proprietor,
BENTON, COLUMBIA COUNTY, I'A.
This well known House havliiK been nut in
thorough repair Is now open for tho reception of
visitors. Nu pains have been spared to ensure
the perfect comfort of guests, The proprietor
also runs a mage irom ine iioiei 10 monmiiourg
and intermediate iKiints on Tuesday, Thursday
aad Saturday of each week, Jan l'ls71
rjiUE ESPY HOTEL.
ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
The undersigned would Inform the travelling
lubllothat he kus taken the abovo named estab-
Ishmentand thoroughly related the same for
the pel feet convenience of bis guests. Ills larder
will be stocked with the best the market affords.
The choicest liquors, wines nnd cigars always to
uv luunu iu ins uur.
WILLIAM PETTIT.
Fspv, Pa,
THE NATION
Its Rulers and Institutions.
IN ENGLISH AND GERMAN.
Nothing like It. Strikes everybody as Just the
book they ueed. It Is nn Encyclopedia of the
Government. Single pages In It, aro nl them
selves worth the price of the book. CH'er tfflpagci
und only li.60. A Illcli Harvest for Canvassers
ladles and gentlemen farmers, teachers and
stndents. Ont agent tooklionleri inafew tlnyt,
with elmelar alone, before the book antoearej. :4(J
a day can be cleared In fair territory. Write at
onco for llrculur and luioriuauon. iKW
WOiu 11 ruuLiHiumi CO., cor. Tin anuiuar'
ket Streets, Philadelphia. oct. s,'71-ly.j
JUSTICE'S BLANKS.
We now liaveon hsnd a large neatly printed
aisortmeut of JUSTICE'S and CONSTA11LES
BLANKS, to which we Invite the attention of
these omcsrs.
BLOOMSBTJRGr, PA.,
Poetical.
L'nitcr.
nv mm. a. n. t. witiTjEY.
Do saints keep holy day In heavenly places?
Does tho old Joy shlnonew In angel faces ?
Aro hymns still sung tho night when Christ
wo born,
Anil anthems on tho Resurrection Morn?
Becauso our lltllo year of cnilli is run,
Do they mako record thoro beyond the snn ?
And lu their homes of light so far away
Mara, with us the sweet coming of this day 7
What Is their Easter? For they nnvo no grAves.
No shadow thoro tho holy snnrlso craves,
Deep In the heatt of noontide marvelous
Whoso breaking glory reaches down to us,
llowMd the Jjnl keep Dutcrt With Ills own I
Back to meet Mary where sho grieved alone,
With faco and mien all tenderly the same,
Unto Iho very sepulchcr Ho came.
Ah, tho dear m cssngo that Ho gavo her then,
Bald for the sake of all brul.cd hearts of men !
"Go, tell those friends who havo believed on
I go be foro them Into Galileo I"
Into the llfo so poor and hard and plain,
That for a whllo they must take up again,
My presence passes! Whcro their feet toll slow
Mine, shlnlng-swlft with love, still foremost gp 1
say, Mary, I will meet them. By tho way.
To walk a little with them ; whcro they stay,
To bring my peace. Watch ! For ye do not know
Tho day, tho hour, when I may find you so 1"
And I do thluk, as Hocamo back to her.
Tho many mansions may bo all astir
With tender steps that hasten In tho way,
Becking their own upon this Easter Day.
Parting tho veil that hldeth them about,
think they do como, softly wistful, out
From homes of heaven that only eci so far,
And walk In gardens whcro tho new tombs aro !
A'cr(Incr'j or April.
Miscellaneous.
Mnkln; a Fortune.
BY MARK TWAIN.
Samuel M'F was n watchman in n
auk. Ho was poor but honest, and
his life whs without reproach. Tho
troublo with him was that ho felt that
ho was not appreciated. His salary
was only four dollars n week, and when
ho asked to havo It raised tho president,
tho cashier, and tho board of directors
glared at him through their spectacles,
and frowned on him and told him to go
out. and stop his Insolence, when he
knew business was dull nnd tho bank
could not meet Its expenses now, let
alono lavish ono dollar a week on such
mlserablo worm ns Samuel ,M'F .
And then Samuel M'F felt sad and
depressed, and tho haughty scorn of tho
president nnd cashier cut him to tho
soul. Ho would often go into tho sldo
ynrd nnd bow his venernblo twenty-
four inch head, and weep gallons ot
tears over his insignificance, and pray
that ho might bo rnado worthy of tho
cashier's and president's pollto atten
tion.
Ono night n happy thought struck
him, n gleam of light burst upon .his.
soul, and gazing down tho dim vista of
ears with his eyes nil blinded with
tears ho saw himself rich, honored and
respected. So Samuel M'F fooled
around and got n jimmy, n monkey
wrench, n cross cut saw, a cold chisel, n
drill, and about half a ton of gun pow
der and nltro glycerine, nnd nil thoso
things. Then in tho dead of night ho
went to tho flro proof safe, and, after
working nt it for n while, burst tho
door nnd brick into nn immortal smash
with such perfect success that thero was
not enough of that safo left to mnko a
carpet tack. M'F then proceeded
to load up with coupons, greenbacks,
currency and specie, and to nail all tho
odd chango that was lying anywhere,
so that ho pranced out of tho bank with
over ono million dollars on him. He
then retired to an unassuming residence
out of town, nnd sent word to tho do
tectives whero ho was.
A detectivo called on him ono day
with a soothing noto from tho cashier.
Mr. M'F treated it with loftyscorn.
Detectives called on him every day
with humblo notes from iho prpiident,
cashier nnd board of directors. At last
tho bank offL-ers got up a magnificent
supper, to which Air. M'F wis in
vited. Ho came, and ns tho bank offi
cers bowed down in tho dust beforo
him, ho pondered over tho bitter past,
nnd his houl was filled with wild exul
tation. Before ho drovo away In his
carriago that night It was all fixed that
M'F was to keep half a million of
that raonoy'and to bo unmolested if he
returned the other half. Ho fulfilled
his contract llko an honest man, but re
fused with haughty disdain, tho offer
of tho cashier to marry his daughter.
Mac is now honored and respected
Ho moves Iu tho best society, he
browses around In purplonnd fino linen
nnd other good clothes, nnd enjoys him
sell first-rate. And often now he takes
his Infant son on his knee and tells him
of his early life, nnd Instills holy prln
clplcs info tho child's mind, nnd shows
how, by industry nnd perseveranco,
frugality nnd nltro glycerine, monkey
wrenches, cross-cut saws nnd fiimlllnrl
ty with tho detectivo system, even the
poor may riso to aluueneo and respect'
ability.
The Baucor Commercial tolls tlio
iollowlng good story : "Everybody rec
ollects Undo Van Meter, tho colored
philosopher of Barkersvlllo, who died
somo months slnco. Van was a char
actcr. Ho was summoned 011 ono occa
sion as a witness in tho Supremo Court
on a cow wso nt tho tlmo tho benovo
Iont Judge Iluthawny presided. Tho
counsol on either sldo, who urostlll liv
ing lu this city, out of sheer fun racked
their brains to obfustlcato tho veteran
African boy by plying all maimer of
uestlons pertaining to ovory other top
ic but tho cow, Tho experiment wob
successful, and poor befogged Tan an
swered as wildly us n blind pugilist
strikes out nt his antagonist. Judg
Hathaway, willing to enjoy n llttlo
sport, but with n vlow to getting tho
bewildered philosopher back to n ra
tioual stand point, turund bonlgnautly
toward him and put u simple question
This was moro than tho Illustrious vou
doo could stand ; a magazlno navcr ox
ploded quicker. Lifting both hands
above his head, nnd wlthacountonauco
beaming with despair, 'I sez now, you
old gray-harred gommen up dar on do
bench, dou'tyou Intorfero wid dis mat
tor. I'vo Just as much ns I can do to
tako caro of deso two chaps down
'how!'"
mi it mhf it it'
FRIDAY, MAECH
Fatal Testimony.
Tho witness of a recent shooting nf
fray In Memphis, upon whoso testimo
ny tho Btnto depended chiefly ill its
prosecution of tho offenders, Is n rnnn
named Periling, who, if his stranRO,
haggard appearance, nnd spiritless
manner, excited bo mo surpriso In tho
Criminal Court beforo which ho had
been summoned, created still moro ns-
tlonlshment by his coinpleto refusal to
rolatowhnt ho had heard nnd seen of
tho murder under lnvcstlcation. 'I
know that I shall bo committed to Jail
for contemnt." ho said, in answer to
tho maolstrato'a rcmonstranco nnd
threats! "but I will not testify in nnv
piuoofthla lclml." After valnlv nnd
mot unkindly pressing for some- cxpln
nntion of such unexpected contumacy,
tho court was finally compelled to com
mlt tho refractory witness to n cell,
whcro ho wa3 subsequently visited by a
reporter of tho yU'KtaHcie nnd was per
suaded tp glvo tho following history of
hiswholo ruined llfo: When ho was
In his elL'hteenth vear. ho aavs. n room-
innifl nnil follnw-student with him nt a
colleclato boardlnL'-school-a vounc
man Bllchtlv his senior and to whom
ho was warmly devoted in a friendship
llko that of David Copperfleld forSteer
forth had n quarrel with nnothcr stu
dent, which, although n trifling matter
at first, matured to the bitterest en
mity. Ono night, when Perkins nnd
his friend were iu their room together,
this student, stimulated to recklessness
by drinking, forced an entrance there,
und becamo so Insulting that a fight en
sued. Beforo his horrified room-mate
could scparato tho combatants, tho in
sulted studont had shot his enemy
through tho bruin with n pistol caught
from tho mantel ; an-1 the other In
mates of tho houso reached tho scene
only in tlmo to witness the death of the
unfortunato Invader of tho apartment
und consign his remorseful murderer to
tho h.intU of tho police. In tho trial
followiug, political nnd family influ
ence wero directed Implacably against
tho prisoner, whoso bosom friend, to
his unspeakablo anguish, was compell
ed to testify that ho had witnessed tho
ftal shooting. Upon this evidence,
principally, pf course, the Jury found n
erdict of wilful murder, nnd tho un
happy young man thus branded was
hung for his crime. Driven nearly
frantic by his Involuntary sharo in the
dreadful fato of his friend, Perkins
went down upon his knees besido that
friend's coffin and "took n solemn oath
never again to testify in any case where
his testimony might possibly causo tho
extrerao penalty of tho law to bo in
flicted upon nny person." This oath
ho has kept religiously through all tho
enrs which its tragic cause has mado
mlserablo to him ; nnd, although of ex.
cellent family connection nnd possess
ing somo property, his life since tho ex-
utlon of his friend has been but n ca
reer of such dissipation as ho has sought
for distraction from remorse. His re
peated answer to nil rcmonstranco
gainst his present courso is: "I will
not testify, I tell you, geutlemen,
though you keep mo in jail for life. I
will not ! I will not I-' And in prison
ho remains.
a .-.! ; T,..r..i
" liuilllllo0euilau,
beforo tho sheriff nnd a Jury, accused of
stealing Bomo garments from a farm
yard, wns defended by n local practi
tloner with so much success that tho
ury returned n verdict of "Not prov
en." To tho surpriso of his agent tho
prisoner seemed by no means In a hur
ry to quit tho dock after tho verdict
was rendered. Tho man of law went
up to him, informed him that ho had
bacn acquitted, and was at liberty to
go away, but still tho fellow kept his
seat. A second time ho was reminded
that ho was no longer a prisoner, but he
it-iiiuiiii-u iiuiuuvuuiu. n-ui;ii, ua 1
., , .
uio cuuri was nt-any emiiuuu 01 uio
rnconlo who had been present durlnr
tho trial, including tho witnesses in tho
case, tho prisoner whispered to his
counsel, "Tho fact is, man, I durst na
gang sooner; I havo on tho pair of
trowsers that was stolen." Tho prison
er had been placed in tho dock wearing
tho clothes In which ho had been appro-
henued, to cnnulo tho witnesses moro
readily to Identify him.
How a Scotchman Lied.
A Scotchman nnd Irishman, previ
ous to their first battle, agreed that If
ono was wounded tho other was to help
his fellow. It so happened Hint a bul
let wounded tho poor Scotchman In tho
thigh, so ho called out to his Irish friend
for help. Paddy lifted him on to his
shoulders nnd wns carrying him to nn
nmbulnnco.whonacannon ballcamoand
carried nway tho poor Scotchman's
head, unknown to poor Paddy, who
feeling tho "whiz" of tho projectile
remarked, "That was'n closoono too."
A Surgeon, noticing tho Irishman
carrying his headless burdou, naked him
wm-ru 110 wtwgeiniK wmi H.
1. ... I tiU 1 A
Why, shuro, nod where should Iho
trnlnir lull In Mm AnMnv tr, l.o.m I.lm
, , . ",, , I ,
uuiiuiyu 1 11.11111.11 muuy,
"iiut my friend, do you not sco thnt
ho lias had his head knocked off by n
shot ?"
"Oh bedad, so ho has I" cried Paddy,
when ho had lowered tho corpso of Ills'
friend ; "why, what a liar tho follow
must D01 110 tout mo it was only a
bullet wound In his leg!"
President Hopkins of Williams
Collogo Is thoroughly good and greatly
loved, and ho is a stately and dignified
old gentleman withal. All thoso ex-
cellent qualities added n quaint effect
of contrast to tho suddenness of tlio fol
lowing answer which tho worthy presl-
dont onco recolvcd, and, which Illus
trates tho principle that "ridicule Is tho
test of truth." In tho railroad c.us ono
day tho President descried ono of his
students, a youth of regretablo habits
ln point of dissipation, and wearing at
that moment the haggitrdtind dlshov-
ollod looks of 0110 not yet ovor tho cf-
fects of a hard debauch. Stepping up
to the young man. looklnir him stornlv
yot sadly In tho face, tho president said
imnMaQt..A
"Been on a drunk!"
ivi rrwa mu iinanur,
29, 1872.
UOL.
Court Anecdotes.
Tho tedious session of tho Supremo
Court nt Plttsflcld. was relieved by nn
incident, ono day recently, that drew a
a llttlo smile. A leading member of
tho bar, rather noted for his strategy of
confusing witnesses by working them
into n pnsioln, had under crosa cxamln-
ntion a woman who eccmcd nn npt sub
ject for his favorlto tactics. Having
wound her up to tho desired pitch, ho
Inquired: "Madam, aro you now llV'
lng with your flrstor second husband?"
"That's nono of your business I" sharp
frui short. With nn nlr of offended
dignity, tho attorney turned to Chief
Justlco Brlghnm, who remarked, with
nsinllo: "I think tho witness Isnbout
right In that, Is sho not?"
Which reminds tho older members of
tho bar of a similar misadventure- that
a still moro distinguished member of
tho Berkshire) bar onco met nt tho hands
of Chief Justlco Shaw. "Whero did
you get tho money with which you
mndo tho purchaso spoken of?" asked
ho "learned brother" of n witness un
"cr tho tortures of cross-examination.
"Nono of your (gontlo expletive) bus!
"C331" thundered tho victim. "Now,
may it plcaso you, aro counsel to bo In
suited in this manner?" appealed tho
lawyer. "Witness," said the Chief
Justice, compassionately, "do you wish
to chango your last answer ?" "No, sir,
I don't 1'' "Well. I wouldn't if I wero
fri your placo 1" And tho chucklo that
shook tho bench was audibly echoed.
"When Greek Meets Greek."
A Hartford friend tells n good story
of ono of our mo3t distinguished cltl-
eens:
Col. Samuel Coll was, iu his llfo-
time, disposed sometimes to bo rather
pompous. When ho wa3 building
dwelling-houses for tho workmen em
ployed in his great plstol-lactory ho
ono day encountered a boy picking up
chips on his grounds.
"Whatnroyou doing hero?" honsk-
ed gruffly.
"Picking up chips, sir," replied the
youngster, evidently unawed by tho
great presence.
"Perhaps," exclaimed tho Colonel
drawing himself up with swelling dig
nity, "you don't know who I am. I'm
Colonel Samuel Colt, and I Hvo in that
big houso up yonder."
Tho boy straightened up and swelled
out, and answered: "Porhaps, you
don't know who I am. I'm Patrick
Murphy, and I live In that llttlo shan
ty down yonder," pointing In tho di
rection.
"Sonny," said tho Colonel, blandly
patting him on tho head, ''go on nnd
pick up all tho chips you wnnt, and
when you get out como back for more.
-rlmerfcan Publisher.
Killing- l'asslou Strong In Death.
Tho "ruling pnsslou strong in death"
was remarkably illustrated iu tho caso
of a certain Mr. Higglus who was a
most punctual man through all his life.
At tho advanced ago of 00 ho was calm
ly resting on his bed, wniting to bo
called nwny. His pubo grow fainter,
nnd tho light of llfo seemed just flicker
ing Into Its socket, when ono of his sons
remarked:
"Fnthnr. vnn will nrnhnhiw 11 hut.
.,-:"!- -".r. .
a ua or lwo ! 13 noc weu lor you 10
narao your bearers?"
"To bo sure, my son," said tho dying
old man. "It Is well thought of and I
will do Itnow."
Ho gave tho names of six, tho usual
numboi, and then sank back exhausted
on his pillow.
A gleam of thought passed over tho
withered features liko a ray of light,
and ho rallied onco more.
"My son, rend this. Is tho name of
Wiggins there?"
"It is, father."
"Then striko it off," said he, cmphat-
- "- , .
inniiw i'fnr im nm.n, i ni
"-'Ji ,,. i'"""'
was never in season and ho might delay
l"o procession a wholq hour."
, ... .. -
A Man of his WoRD.-ThovlclnJty
of Bastrop, In LouUhno, was mado
quite gossipy by nn animated personal
dlfllculty,tn which a notnbly veracious
gentleman from Aikansas felt obliged
to tako tho llfo of his opponent In an
argument, "If you repeat that nsser
Hon, sir," observed tho Arkansas gen
tleman, In commentary upon tho oth
er's uso of certain forcible biographical
Insinuations, "I give you my word that
I will shoot you." Heedless of tho
courteous admonition, tho too-voluble
otiender presently committed tho repo
tltlon, nnd his funeral was attended
.u, iiiiu-ms mnerni wns nucnaeu
by a largo concourso of relatives and
friends. "I gavo him my word for It,"
remarked tho gontleman from Arkan-
sas, blowing into tho discharged barrel
or his pistol, "nnd that's n p edgo I nl-
1 "
ways redeem,"
The following anecdote Is related by
Mr. W. F. Roo, In his memoir of M.
Talne, the eminent French author:
I n,, ,! r lvrll, ., ti
T. , ' , , V,V e . ,
"'B'IUU"' liuiui 111 Uiiuiu, mm
thero saw Taino bitting with a dish of
f i,ornnii vnaf nlinn.tii.q nf knHor.
I 1 ,M. ,,,,, nn,mn
prised nt tho combination and at tho
hugo quantity of the toast. "Is that a
French dish?" ho asked. "No." said
Taino, "but they keep on bringing it to
mo ln splto of all I can say to tlio con
trary." "What did you ask for?" ob
served his friend. "Why," ropllod
Taino, "I kopt tolling them' to brlug
'pollar-tos,' nnd each tlmo thoy bring
mo a frisk dish of toast l Mr. Ttuno's
pronunciation of "potatoes" was so
much llko "buttered toast," that tho
astonished waiter could not bo blamed
- When tho excellent Mr. Joo Meek,
tho Oregon trapper, went to Washing
ton as a Territorial mcssougcr, his good
looks und relationship to Presldont
Polk mado him a great favorlto with
tho ladles, Whllo promenading ono
ovoning a lady Inquired whether he had
ovor been mnrrled, 'Yes,' Joo said,
hnvo a wife and six children,' 'Oh, la
continued his friend, 'and isn't Mrs
Meek afraid or tho Indians?' 'Afraid
I r T,unn 11 ...... tA,i tf.,ninM..An
'! reckon not, why, ab's an Indian
1 iivisuii.
DEM. - VOL. XXXVI NO. f .
Traveling Stone.
Many of our readers havo doubtless
henrd of tho famous traveling atones of
Australia. Similar curiosities havo re
cently been found In Nevada, which aro
described ns niraost porfoctly round, tho
majority of them aslnrgoas n walnui,
nnd of nn Irony naturo. When distrib
uted nbout upon tho floor, tablo, or other
lovol surface, within two or threo foetof
each other, thoy Immediately begin
traveling toward a common contrc, and
there huddlo up la n bunch llko a lot of
eggs In a nest. Aslnglo stono removed
toadlstanco of threo and n half feet,
upon being released, at onco started off,
with wonderful and eomowliat comical
celerity, to join Its fellows; taken away
four" or five feet It remains motionless.
They aro found in n region thnt is com.
pnratlvely level, and Is nothing but a
baro rock. Scattered over this barren
region nro llttlo basins, from n few feet
to n rod or two In dlamoler, nnd It Is In
these that tho rolling stones are found.
Thoy nro from thoslzo of a pea to flvoor
six Inches In dlnmctor. Tho causo of
these stones rolling together Is doubtless
to bo found In tho material of which
thoy aro composed, which appears to bo
loadstone or magnetic iron ore.
We hnvo heard n great deal of high
way outrages of Into, but did not deem
thnt wo should bo called upon to chron
iclo one, but such is tho case. A phy
sician living on Brooklyn Heights was
recently hurrying homowards, quite
Into in the ovoning, when a man, appa
rently drunk, Btaggorcd out of a tavern
and jostled him. Tho good doctor did
not wish to mako a disturbance, so ho
stopped dido and let tho drunken man
pass on. Tho man's condition, howev
er, did not prevent him from wnlking
quito fast, nnd ho Boon left tho doctor
behind. Tho latter suddenly bethought
himself to feel for his watch.
It was gone 1
But ho wns equal to tho occasion.
Taking his pistol from his pocket, ho
ran after tho man, overtook and collar
ed him.
'!Now, you rascal," cried ho In a ter
rible voice, "hand out that watch, or I
shall put a ball into you 1"
Tho man demurred at first, but tho
doctor's volco and manner wero too
much for him. He saw that thero was
nothing else to do, and so ho handed
out tho watch. When tho doctor reach
ed homo, ho told his adventuro to his
wife. "But, my dear," said she, "you
did not lake your watch with you.
Thero It is, on the. table, whcro you loft
it I"
Thero is no nso of going into further
particulars. Tho doctor had committed
highway robbery on an unknown
drunken man, and that was tho best
that could bo said of it.
Au Honest Customer.
An anecdote worth laughing over Is
told'of a man who had an infirmity as
well as an appetlto for fish. Ho was
anxious to keep up his character for
honesty, even whllo making a MU with
hl3 merchant, as tho story goes, nnd
when his back wns turned tho honest
buyer slipped a codfish up under his
coat-tall. But tho garment was too
sbort to cover tho theft, and the mer-
ohnnl. norooloil It
, : ; " ' - "
Now," said tho customcr.anxious to
improvo nil tho opportunities to call
attention to his virtue3,"Mr..Merchant,
J. havo traded with you a great deal,
nnd havo paid you promptly and
honestly, haven't I?"
"Ob, yes,"answered tho merchant,"!
havo no complaint."
"Well," said tho customer,"! hav
always insisted that honesty was the
best policy, and tho best rul to live
anddloby."
That' bo Bald tho morchant, nnd the
customer turned to depart. "Hold onMf&K
, , , , ,,
irlend," cried tho morcbau t. "SDeaklncr
r ,.. T. r
" "uura' t "ttvo a 0,6 01 auvlc 10
irivn vnii. wnnnnvo, si-in nnmn n
glvo you. Whonover you como to
trado again you had better wear a
longer coat, or steal a shorter cod-fish."
There Is
nn old stnrv tolil thnt
i t ? .1. ly 4lola nat
whon ono night nt tho theatre It was
proposed to utterly annlhllato a pugll-
uuiiiniiwuiu mugunery wnonau Deen
creating a disturbance, an economical-
ly-disposed person In ono of tho boxes
cried out, "Don't wa3to him. Kill a
fiddler with him." Chariottn nh.
man relates a similar incident. As bo-
foro, a row was raised, and tho disturb
er of tho peaco must bo punished. It
was suggested that ho bo thrown over
from tho gallery whero ho was seated,
- moment thev w7reabou
r"l'a"?"
. 1JU" l"13 J""!'"0"'"" mui euuci, u
ue"cr?turo ln. tuo Pet looked
T . ,. 7. i a 8We0t .
, " l";u uver vimo"
I .Innlt Tt Mmslil Ur. .. , T 1 1 1 l-1
u"u " tiua, aui una
whltu no is."
Greeley on Maple Bug ar.-A great
many ridiculously funny things aro
published mnnnrntnt, n,..nln. 1,
, ilTZVxZ :,TuV.i ,
1 - "t-uuaiiu, Ul HUltu IUO lui-
lowing Is a sample :-Mr. Grecloy says
tho reason thero in 11 RfHirMtsr nf mnnin
UurrarthU nrinr,in tw ti,n f,m
didn't moro than half roanuro tholr
sugar seeds when they planted them
last fall. Uo says for every seed you
plant you want a wholopiloof manuro,
when tho vinos will bo fairly weighed
down with llttlo scolloped cakes. Far
mers never will learn anything If they
keep on fooling away their tlmo as thoy
havo tho past year,
Upon tho trial of a suit for divorce.
ono of tho witnesses was asked whoth-
or ho hud spoken to any of tho Jury
since tno trial conimonced. "Yes, sir,
Ispoketo Mr.," pointing to a Jury
man with a faco as red as a blood beet.
"What did you say to him ?' Wit
ness appeared reluctant to toll. Tho at
torney insistou upon the answer,
"Well" said tho witness, "I told him
that ho had a pretty faco to sit on a
! jury to decide whethor a man was a ha
I bltual drunkard or not.'
Mrs. Sarah Newcomb, of Illinois,
I rAntiu vninnsi a ..aM,i,nmn Ki.
dashing out tho brains of her husband fflt?tfplilg&
I"
nm im. ftvnlva luica'or 1U egtJIvalCTit In
Nonr"tntrj)on of lifOlfMtum,! LV) tut-
lemons, u.ai
BrA.cn.
he. at, lac . It.
One Inch..
I'mrn InfHM -
, ...US) U,M KM W II0.M
Three lnehc:...
U-... In.h..
6 00 7,00 9,00 njn
. I I, fl it n I
1H 00
ay
K0,0
60,00
:oo,n
Quarter column.
Half column-...
Ono column.......
.10,00 iioj n,oo ao,oo
15.00 H.00 3,e W.B
..80,00 86,09 0,00-00,)
. i,t,lnt.lrtftr'. Notice. ll.Ot
An&toM or AMltneeVi Notloe, tVO.
Local notlcei. twenty cent o line.
Card 1ft ino "liaflineBu ujiwwi; . : i i
Km pw yVr for the nrst lwo lines, and f l,oo fof
- . a i tt.AtMll Mvltlwin.
wen uuuuluuai 11 uc
Humorous.
A spring suit may bo had by knock
ing a man down this month.
Burglars nro so frequent in Dixon, Ill.i
that tho Telegraph classes them among
tho "local Industries."
An Indiana vnnncster mischievously
et tho family plonlaon fire. By playing
n li vigorously it wua exiiuguiouou.
Tho ladles of tho AUentown Feinalo
Collgo serenaded tho students of Muh
leaburg College tho other evening, and
among other sweet things, sung thoso
beautiful lines commencing. "Oh vcrol
Oh vero I tsh mlno leetlo dorg gone ?"
, Conversation Iri a Wisconsin store.
Pollto Clerk "Can I show you any
thing clso to-day?" Lugubrious Cus
tomer "No, I reckon not. I lost two
jhorocs and my wlfo last fall, nnd I feel
(putty poor. Good span or horses, too."
Swindlers tried to scduco a western
man on a railroad train into betting
that ho could open a patent. padlock
which thoy carried abont. Ho took tho
bet nnd opened tho locK with a sledge
liammcr.
A little waif, mot in ono of Boston's
narrowthotoughfares Iho othor morning
whon asked If she had a mother, replied
naivoly, "I dunno, but I guess not, for
whon I ran away this morning tho old
'un8 was quarrellln', nnd father had tho
nntchet."
, A rich Iowan has sent his mother to
the poor-house at the age of 103. His
filial duty was cheerfully paid up to the
specified term of threescoro and ton ;
but ho really begins to fear that In her
rase the debt of naturo will explro by
'limitation.
According to tho Washington Chroni
cle, "In Philadelphia, last year, 13,493,
!299,481 gallons of wator wero used In
adulterating milk and getting up steam
at tho Ledger ofllco to publish the
obituaries of distinguished citizens
abovo eighty years of ago.
Somo of tho towns in Vermont hav
ing vaccinated most of their population,
aro now n little incllndod to grumblo bo
causo tho smallpox does not como along.
Thero Is a general feeling thero that nil
tho troublo has been taken for nothing.
On Washington's birthday, a tipsy
Danbury n:dn braced himself ngnlnst a
lamp post nnd exclaimed : "Merciful
Hcavon I can it bo posaiblo that great and
good man Is dead V"
Josh Billings says thero seems to bo
four styles of mind: First, them who
knows It's so: second, them who knows
it ain't so, iniru, mom wuo spin tno
difference and guess at It; fourth, them
who don't caro which way It is."
"I And, Dick, that you aro In the
habit of taking myjokes and passing
them off as your own. Do you call that
gentlemanly conduct?', "Tp bo sure 1
do Tom. A truo gontleman will
always tako n Joke Jrom a friend."
Among tho .namoa of the witnesses
(summoned in Brlghnm Young's case in
BaiiJaKouicyappears jonnixw. wnen
tno uovernmeni oniy nas an attorney
High, and the Mormons havo Jack Low,
it looks as if tho latter would win tho
game.
Discerning child (who has hoard somo
remarks made by papa) "Aro you our
new nurse ?",Nuraor-"Yes,dear." Child
"Well,' then, I'm one of thoso boya
who can only bo managed by kindnoss ;
so you had better get-somo sponge cake
and oranges at onco 1"
Marriage Is like a brilliant tuner's light
Placed at the window on asummcr ulght.
Attracting all tho Insects of the air
To come and singe their pretty wlnglets there;
Thoso who are out butt heads against the pane,
And those within bntl to get out again.
A yonng lady swooned in a Wisconsin
church, and the doctors gavo her up for
(lAOf-l A t thn fun oral ahn nvram artt mttTn
reasons for DostDonlne the coremonv.
which were agreed by all tho mourners
to bo convincing.
At Lafayette, Ind.. a sinnor declared
last Saturday, while witnessing a bap-
tism, that ho wouldn't bo haptlsod on
S Y',"Vi
for nothlnir. by tho clvlnir wav of tho
Ice.
Tho Supremo Court of tho "United
States having decided that a husband
I can recover damages for the loss of his
'V?; SXuJiSP ner "H anu
1 r . ....
way accident was allowed bv the dis
,.ii,i,. i- .,n.. . - .
" '""'
, . .
j. a ennsy iv aula editor returns thanks
for n serenado, and Bays: "Iu many
localities this might bo a thin way or
expressing one's appreciation of a favor
ui ",luu :. "uluet wcero me wens
aro nearly nil dry, nnd the town Is sur-
rouuuou oy a proniDitory law two miles
wide, nothing bettor can be tendered."
tnenrevini, rv,n t.mmi,t .i, 11
gays tho Boston Bulletin. "Tho cook of
an eminent citizen-having Injured hor-
self by repeated falls over a ledge which
UK sucnon lioor, lie
Is now engaged In blasting It, after
which no win turn his attention to a
llttlo boulder near tho centro tablo In
tho parlor."
In tho Court of Quarter Sessions of
of iayotto county Patrick Maloy, n na-
tivo Ireland, was recently sworn nnd
the Uhltod Suites.
It will bo roraembred that at tho com
paratively lmmaturo age of 15 years
the abovo named gentleman was his
mother's fair-haired boy ; also, that sho
kept a huckster shop; also, that her
namo it was Maloy.
Tho following Is a verbatim copy of a
loiter recently recoiveu oy a scnooimat
terln Indiana from a householder in his
locality 1 "Cur, ass you aro a man of no
W'.f. wi?" w 'ulu.3r B"n SOUI
legs, i wisn to lniurmy sun in your
H xaa oractmiy anu seeming
I OUOnSlVUIlUba Ol 11113 UUUrCSS UlSappear
on translation. What was intended to
bo written was: "Sir, ai you aro a man
9' knowledge,! wish to enter my son
A vacancy having occurred ln a
certain church by reason of the resigna
tion of tho organist, tho trustees ad
vertised for a candidate for organist,
music toacner, etc. Among tno numer
ous, roplles to tho advertisement was
the following peculiar announcement:
Gontleman: I notice ysur advertise
ment for organist and music teacher,
olthor lady or gentleman. Having
been both for somo years, I offer you
my Borvlcce.
"Mother," said llttlo Nod, ono morn.
ing, after having fallen out of bed, "I.
thin K. I know now whv! fell out or
bod last night. It was becauso I slept
too near whero I got In" Musing a
llttlo whllo as if in doubt whether he
had given the right explanation, ho
added, "No, that wasn't the reason; It
was becauso I'slept too near whero I fell
out,"
An economical Iowan,, who had a
toothache, determined to remove It In
tho Indian fashion. Accordingly, ho
hont down a sapling In tho woods, lay
down himself, and attached a stout
cord to his tooth and tho sapling,
ro - 1 Then ho touched tho Bprlng, and tho
.... I noil ho know Lo haujampcd over a
jiej uapponOU 10 Rllgnv IB,