te (ifoiumbimt
BATES OF ADVERTISING.
AND
H rUUMSHIttl KVEUY FRIDAY MOIININU
(! Till! U0I.UMI11AN IlUU.niNII HKAIiTlIK
coonT house, ntooiisnrjwi, pa., nr
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
KllltOll AHD ritOFBIKTOII.
Tcrno-Two Collin a Vcar payttMo In olvanco,
jod priuting
Of Ml lescrlptlons eiccutod wllh neatness nnd
dispatch ill reasonable rates.
Oolumbia Oountv Official Diroctory,
JYeMrnlJwtoe Wll.t.IAM lltwuh
Associate Juilgf-UlKts. Dehh, Isaac) 8. MoN-
"yvolAMomrj.r.-nunoi.rii II. ltiNOl.nn.
JlmtstcrA (reorder Williamson H.JAConY,
District .1 Horary JAMia linvaos, Jk.
A'ifi-Ur-AAIio.N SMITH.
Numiior Ibaao Dkwitt.
7Vraii-rr-WlI.t.IAMlMMOr.
Ctiim(jiiiiitri vims iioiimhs, llmAlt J.
1UUDK.1I. Wll.t.IAM KltAf FKK.
(.Ommfaifonrrj' ttcr WILLIAM K r.ICKnAPM,
ihKoh-U. J. CAMrncLi., Daniel I.ef..
CltAIU.lwCoSNKIl
Coroner Oil AIILKI O. MUliPIIV.
J1117 UnnmlMlontrj Isaao M'.'BiitDE.JoifHMo
ANA Lb.
CounW Hupcrlnlemle nt CllAItns U. IiAItELET
JHoom 7V)or 7l(rlW-Dlrf ctors. R. It. Mtt.I.En
William Khamei:, llloomsburg, nnd JoiinsoiUu
1KU.K1I. UrccllWOod, CIIA11LE3 CONNER, SCC'y. T
Bloomsburg Official Directory,
HtoomilVTO Hanking Co. JoilN A. FllNSTON
President, 11. II. (Iuotz, Cashier.
tint Rational Hunk CIIAS. H. PAXTO.v.Pres't ,
J. P. Tibtin. Cashier.
WiniMaCtmnty MutualKartngtmdantlJjnanAi
icwfciffon U. 11. Little, Frcs't., C. W. Milled,
Stc'j.
lltomnsburg Jlulhllng anil Saving tmtl Assoctn
(ton Wm. I'JlArocit, Pres't., J. 11. HoiusoN.Sec,
Jllvovisburg Mutual having tutul Association
3,3. llnoWKii, President, c. O. Uahklev, Bec'y.
Bloomsburg Directory.
r
)Al'i:H IIAUS Just received nnd for snlo nt tho
columuian umce.
CLOTIIINa, &C.
DAVID I.OWENBEKO, Merc
st.,ubovo American House.
AVID LOWBNDKRU, Merchant Tailor, Main
WM. MOUIIIS, Merchant Tnllor corner of Ccu
tro nnd Main St., over Miller's store.
DRUGS, CHEMICAL! AC.
ri 1'. LUTZ, DruKglsi and Apotliccnry. Main st.
. below tho I'ust UUlce.
OLOOKB, WATOIIES, AO.
C1 i:, HA VAOK, dealer In Clocks, Watches nnd
U Jewelry, Mailt St., Just below tho American
IIouso.
LOUIS IIEUNIIAKD, Wntch and ClocU maker
near southeast corner Main nnd Iron sts.
R
CATIIUAllT. Watch and Clock Makcr.Mar.
, ket street, below Main,
BOOTS AND 3IIOE8.
11 M. KNOKIt, Dealer In Hoots nnd Hhnes, Intest
J!(, and best styles, corner Main and Market
Htreets, In tho old I'obtOfllcc.
D
AVID IIUTZ, IJoot and Uhoenialter, Main St.
uelow iiariman's store, west of Market,
Hi:.NHY KLK1M, Manufacturer and dealer In
ltoots and tthocs, Urocerles, tc., Main street,
I.usl llloomsbure, '
i'UOPESSIONAL.
1)
U. II. C. I1UWKH, Hurgcou Dentist, MulUBt.,
Ulllco over tho First iMUIoiml Uiiuk.
SO. llAHKI.KY, Attorney-at-Law. OGlce, 2il
, noorlu kxchaugolJIock, near tho "KxchangB
ulel."
1 11. McKKLVY.M, D.,Hurgeon and Thyslclau
J , uorlhsldo Main St., below Market,
T O. ItUTTKIt, M. I). Hurneon and 1'hyslclHn
J. Market street, above Main.
I II. HOlllHON, Attorney-at-Law, OUlee llart
(). man's building, Main street.
Dll. 11, K. KINNKY, Htiri;eon Dentist. Teeth
extracted without pain: Main si., nearly op
oslte Kplscopal Church,
1 It. KVANH, M. I)., HurBPon nnd I'hyhlelau,
t) south sldn Main street, below Market.
Dlt. A. 1.. TUHNKIl, l'hys'cinn ntd Sun-eon, of
llru over IClelm'H Drim Htoie, risldeueu one
iloor below Ilev, D. J. Waller.
MILLINERY & FANCY UOODS.
Ti I'KTKUMAN, Millinery and Fancy Hoods,
ill, opposltu llplscopal Church, .Main st.
M
IKS MZZIF. I1AIIKI.EY, Milliner, llamsey
Diuiuint; Aiaiu bireei.
MISS M. DIIllItlCKHON, Millinery and Fancy
Uoods, Main St., below Murket.
mm. .im.iA a. & hadk HAi!iri.K. Liuiins'
ill t'loaks and Dress ratteriu, Houtheast corner
luinauu wesihis.
riUIE MIKSKH IIAltMAN Millinery nnd Fancy
1 Uoods, Main ut., below American ilouso,
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
VOHKH HOTKI,, by T. Bent. Taylor, east end
1 of Mnln street.
MERCHANTS AND GROCERS.
Ct C. MAKIt, Dry Uoods and NotlonB, south
! west corner Main and Iron sts.
MOX A WEHIi, Confectionery nnd llakery,
wholesale and retail, Exchange lllock.
II.
('. IIOWEH, Ifntsond Taps, Hoots andBhocs,
Main St., above Court House.
J II. MAIZE, Mammoth Grocery, tine Oro-
certes. Fruits, ls'uts, l'rovlslon, &.C., Mslu
anil CeutruBlrecls.
M'KEI.VV, NEAT, A CO., ilenlerslu Dry Ooods,
(Irocerles, Flour, Feed.Halt, Fish, Iron, Nails,
etc.,N". E. cor. Main and Market sts.
Q 11. MILLEIt A BON, dealerk In Dry Ooods,
V). Oroccrles, (iueeuBwarc, Flour, bait, Bhoes,
Notions, etcMalnst.
MISCELLANEOUS.
p M. C11UIHTMAN, Baddle, Trunk A Harness
J, maker, Bhlve's lllock Main Btreet.
1)
W. HOliniNS, liquor ilealersecond door from
northwest corner Main and Iron sts.
W J. TIIOUNTON, Wall Paper, Wlnilow Bhades
U. nnd tlxtures. Unpen block. Main et.
W.rOHEI.L, Furniture llnoms, three story
brick, Main Btreet, west of Mnrket st.
HOHENBTOCK.l'hntngrapber.over Itohblns
' & Eyer's Btore, Mnlnst.
I S. KDIIN.denlerln Meat, Tallow, etc., Chem
i berlln's alley, rear of Amerlcau House.
QAMDEI, JACOBY, Marble and Drown BUmo
OWorks, East llloomsburg,llerwlck road.
WM, HAnil, dealer In furniture, trunks, cede!
lllow ware, uear the Folks Hotel.
Ell. HIDLEMAN, Agent for Munson's Copper
' Tubular I.lstutniiiKltod.
OFOSTEK.Olue Mnker, and White and Fancy
Tanner, bcottown.
J TOTE 1100KH, nnd blank NOTEH.wlth or with
t out exemption, fur sale at the Columbian
illce,
Catawissa,
F. DAU.MAN, Merchant Tailor, Second Bt.
, llobblus' Building.
H.J, IC, UOHBINH. Burgeon and 1'hyslclan
Hecouil Bt below Mnln.
1II.11EUT A KI.INE, dry goods, groceries, and
1 general merchandise, Main Htreot
II. KIBTI.EIS, "Cattawlssa House," North
, Corner Main and Beeoud Btreets.
KEII.Ell, Hlllard Balonn, Oysters, und Ice
. Cream In season -Malum.
MM.nnOHHT. dealer In OeueralMerchandlse
Dry Oonds, (Irocerles A-e.
Sl'HQUEHANNA or llrlclt Hotel. 9. Kostcn
builder l'roprletor.south-east corner Main nnd
Hwoml Btreet.
M, II, ABHOTT, Attorney at law, Malu Bt.
Light Street.
II
F. OMAN & Pn.. Wlipolwrlclifu ftikl ilnnr
, uuutunvnuui ninth,..
JOHN A, OMAN, Manufacturer nnd dealer In
Hoots and Shoes
8. ENT, dealer In Stoves and Tlu ware In
mi us urancues.
HIVIER LNT, Mlller.nnd dealer In all kinds ol
1 tiiuln, Hour, ud, 4c. All kinds of Grain
.-i.iinini,
Espy.
J D. WKHKHElSER.BootnndBhoeBloreaud
p;.ir,i!,u,K'o.,.r,'M,up uu m '-
T ,vs!',KDtIAR. Susquehunua Planing Mill
kuu t)UK Mttituittciurtui,'!
Buck Horn.
M
U.dWMl. Klini- M A 1 I'll Hpulorn In ,lru
urtnilu t,,,,.i. - i nA.,,.lnt . v, i.'
V0LUMEVI,---0.7.
Orangovillo Diroctory.
D
11. IIEHUINO A t1Itr)Tltl.'.UIrr.n-.l-,r.
. .luiiucin, .tiaiu hi,, ueiow i lue.
BUICK HOTHI, nml refreshtnent Rnloon, by
UohrM'lIenry cor.ofMnln nnd Finest.
D
It. O.A.MEOAU(lED,l'hyslclnnnndSurgeon
Mnln st next door to Good's Hotel,
AVID IIEHltlNO. Flour nnd Orlst Mill, nnd
Dealer In urnln, Mill Btreet.
fAMCH II. IIAltMAN. Cabinet Make; and Un.
u dcrtnkcr. Main St., below l'lne.
SCIItlYI.EU & CO., Iron founners.Mnchlulsts
and Manufaclmers of plows, Will HI.
SAMUEL HIIAHPI.KBH. Maker of thollayhurst
Uralu cradle. Main Bt.
WILLIAM DEI.ONO Ohoemnkeratirt manufac
turer of Ilrlck, Mill St., west of Pino
Philadelphia Directory.
J.JOttTXCUI.TTJRAXi KALXi
Restaurant aufl. Diiii Rooms.
FRANK SMITH, Proprietor.
l'HILA DELPHI A,
N. H. Tho location Is central, tho assistants
nttentlve, and tlm tables supplied with the best
tho market nllords, fresh nini well cooked. Olvo
him n call.
JM, KEPHEART,
O WITH
BARNES, IJRO. & HERRON,
HATH, CAI'S, BTHAW OOODH A TUHS,
No. 603 Market Street,
(Above Fifth,)
rim-ABELPltlA.
"AINWRIGHT & CO.,
WHOLESALE OltOCEUS,
N, E, Corner Becond and Arch Streets,
1'lIII.ADELl'IIlA,
Dealers In
TEAS, BYIlUrs, COFFEE, SUOAK, MOLABBF.S
Rtcr, si'Ices, nt caiui boda, ac, ac.
-KrOrdcrs will reeelvo prompt attention,
may 10,07-tf.
BneinoBO Cards.
0
B. BROCKWAY,
ATTOUNEY AT LAW,
llLOOMSllDllO, PA,
S- Offh'E Court House Alley, In the Co.
LUMiilAN building. (Jant,'67.
Q AV. MILLER,
" ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Olflco Conrt ilouso Alley, below the Colum
iitAN Oflice. Bounties, Hnck-Fny nnd Pensions
collected. Hloombburg Fa. sep.'JI'(17
ROBERT F. CLARK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
OlUce Mnln Btreet below tho Court House,
Bloomsburg l'enn'n.
J II. LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Oflleo Court-Home Allpy, below the Colum
iiian Oflice, BluomsburK la.
QHARLES C. LEIDY,
ATTOItl'i:V-AT-I.AW,
OFFICE ON OAK STIIEF.T, MOUNT CARMEL.
Is'OHTlIlIMUEKLAND COHSTY, l'A.
ColUetfons prompllv mnde, Conveynnclng
neatly executed an all other business coiwieci
ed wllh his ofeslon cirelully nttended to In
Montour, Northumberland nnd Columbia coun
ties. m-.ls71-.
JJARGAINS BARGAINS.
QUICK SAI.rS ANI HMAT.I. PnOFITB.
BAVE YOUK MONEY.
Ootn
HENKY YOST.
East Hloomsbnrx I'a., for nil kinds of the btst
homo and cltv mnde
FURNITURE,
Prices reasonable and the bcr irk doim.
Jnn l'7-tr
"yETERINARY.
AUGUST FRIEND,
late ricm Germany, oilers his services to tbi
public us a celebrated
HORSE AND COW DOCTOR,
and all other animals, for which his charges ara
moderate. He ran always bo found enht side ol
Berwick road, nearS. II. Jacoby's Marble Yald.
llloolusburg, May 12. 1S71-U-.
"17 J. THORNTON
JL-Ji would nnnouncetothecltlrensof Hlooms
burg and vicinity, that ho bnsjust received a full
and complete assortment of
WALL PAPER, WINDOW SHADES,
pixTunns, conns, TAhflr.w,
nnd all other goods In his lino of business. All
tho newest nnd most approved patterns of the
mi) Hrt. aiwavH io uo lounu in ms csiauiiFumcni.
mar.5.'C'J-tf Muln Bt. below Market.
TT AG AZINES, DAILY & WEEKLY
XJJL PAPERS OF ALL KINDS
AT THE 11COK bTOIIE OPPOSITE THE COUl.T HOUSE.
Also nn assortment of rortemonnalis, Pass
Honks suit Arctium Hooks, cr nsianuy on iiauu.
Books not on hand obtained on short notice.
New Books are constantly being added to the
" llloomsbnri- Circulating Library." Among the
latest s.ie "(nun ami innocence," "louierJiss,"
' Mr llnrry," " Hot Spur of llumblethwatt," and
Merqnem," etc, aprai.l If
N
JEW STOVE AND TIN SHOP,
IHAIAIl IIAGKNllUUn.
Main Street one tloor above IS. Mciuleulmll's
Htoro.
A largo assortment of HtoveB, IleaterH and
llontre constantly ou hand, and for nnlo at tue
loweht rat en.
TlnulnK In all Its lirauchescarttmH aiteu'kd tn,
Him Huiisiacium Karameeu,
Tin work of all klndtt wholeHale aad retail. A
lal U renucaled,
Jan 171
QURLING CREAM.
Bv uslnt. this nrtlclo ladles nnd Gentlemen
esn beaulfiy themselves n Ihousuud lold. 'Ibis
ih nit, oniy iirucie limi wiiicuri hiringiii. iiittr,
and lit the same time gleto It n beautiful ap
pearance, it niFt invipnrnitH. neauiirjes uuu
cleantes. It can bo so uppllett ns to canst, the
liair lu cull liny JCIlglll tti iiintt umiitu ncui
by mall lor 20 CIS. a package. Address
JWllvi'.lV 111 ll . fil.t . 1 .
MlddJctowll, Adams Co., Fa.
septl'71-llui.
JLOOMSBUBG
.ii a ii ii 1; u ii . ,
MAIM STHKKT, IIFI.OW HA 11 KET,
BI.OHMSHURO, PA.
Monumtiils, Tombs, Hendstones, Ac, Work
neatly extculnl, Orders by mall will reeelvo
special alleutlou. N, II. Work delivertd freeot
cliiirge. T. L. OUNTON, Proprietor,
octl3'7Mf. P.O.Box tW.
NEW YORK. CORK, AND LIVERPOOL.
NEW AND 1- ULL-POWERFD KTKA MMIll-S.
TIIESIX LARGEST JN THE WORLD.
OCEANIC, CELTIC, REI'UBLIO,
ATLANTIC, BALTIC, ADRIATIC,
0,010 lops burden a.l 00 h. p. each.
Sailing from New York on SA'l UR DAYS, from
Liverpool on THVHBDAYB, unit Cork Harbor
tlm tiny folloM'lng,
From ihu Whlto Star Dock, Pavonla Ferry,
Jersey City,
Passenger nccommodntlous (for all classis)
unrivalled, combining
BA1I.-I Y. SPEED, AND COMFORT.
Hnlooiis, state-rooms, smolilng-looin-aud bath
rooms lu midship Mellon, where least motion is
fell, Burgeons and tteuurdessts uccompuuy
theso sttumers.
ltAHS Saloon. J80 cold. Klcprntrp. ..Ill etlrren.
cy. '1 hose wishing lust nd for Irlenils Inuti the
uiu i ouuiry can now obtain steerage prepaid
cc nin.'iites. 8W currency.
Passengers booked to or from all parts of
America, runs, jiuuiuuiku, nurway, mveutn,
llltlta, AUMtHim, V.1IIIIII! ill-.
Exclusion tit l;e Is grunted at lowest rates,
llrnflk from 1 UPMardS.
For Imptctlon ol plans and olherlnformation,
SPPiy IO 1U. IV llllHIUIll. . iirvt i.'in.
" ' J. II. SPARKS. Agent,
Or to W, PliACOt'K.
JnnlSlf Bloomsburg, Pa,
BUfUNESS CARDS.
VJB1TINO CARDS,
ETTElt HEADS,
HILL HEADS,
PROGRAMMES,
POSTERS,
4 AC.
Neatly niul Cheaply Printed
From tbo Latest Htylea of Type at the
COLUMBIAN OFFJCK.
Miscollauoono,
JJENTIBTBY,
O. HOWEU. DKNTIRT.
Respectfully ofTors his professional services to
the ladles and gsntlemcn of Uloomsburg nnd vl
clnlty. lie Is prepared to attend to all the vnrl.
ous operations lu tho line of his profession, and
Is provided with the lntest Improved I'oucki.ain
Trkth which will bo Inserted on gold platliiB
silver and rubber base to look as well asfhe na&
nrnl teeth. Teeth extracted by nil the new ani
most approved methods, and all operations on
tho teeth carefully nnd propel ly attended to.
Residence and oflleo a few doors ntmvo the
Court House, same side.
Uloomsburg. Jan.1'71 ly
"yULOAN WORKS,
DANVILLE PA.
WILLIAM II. LAW,
Maiuif.tclnrcr or Wrought Iron Bridges, Boilers,
Gasholders, Fireproof Buildings. Wrought Iron
itoollng, Rooting Frames, Flooring nud Doors,
I arm Oatosand fencing, also Wroughtlron pip
ing, Stacks and nil kinds of Smith Work, Ao,
Repairs promptly attentied to ,
N, B Drawings nnd Estlmntes supplied,
orlK'71-ly.
'JMIE GREAT MAGICAL
A I It F O U C E U I
Will forco a beaulirul set of Whiskers or Mus
tache, In from two to thrco mouths, on auy per
son over twelve years old, it Is ono or tho best
preparations to make tho whiskers grow that
ever was known. Ono bottlo or It lssulllcient to
produco a very strong beard, It does not In any
way slain or lnjuro tho skin Try It I It Is no
huiiibUK. Price 3i cents pr bottle. Sent by
mnll post paid, tn any address, on receipt ol
price. Address WILLIAM C. WAGNER,
, . Aieudtsvllle,
mnj.lVJl-ly. Adams County, Pennn
T N S U R A N cTe A QENOY,
Wyoming 211.000
'Wna 4,000,0111:
Fulton N. Y. 400,000
North America WJO.OOu
City 450,000
International N.Y - Mm
Niagara N, Y I.Oiki.iio
Merchants a.M,ouO
Bsrlugtleld . 57ii0
farmers' Dauville.N.Y fiisi.issi
Albany City 4U0.0"0
lianvllle, Horse Theft Mutual.
Atlantic, N. Y... l.loo.oio
Gt rmaula, N, Y 600,000
FREAB BROWN, Agent,
nii2r7l-ly. Bloomrhurq Pa.
J- I NKLEY KNITTING MACHINE
THE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN
USE! HAS BUT ONE NEED LEI A
CHILD CAN RUN IT I
Designed (-rcdaHy for the use of families, and
1 mills vhodulio toknlt for tho market. Will
do eery stitch of the knitting lu a stocking,
widening add narrowing as riadliy us by hand.
Aro splendid for Morstttis nnd fancy work,
TAKING FIVE DIU'ERENT KIMjH Ol1
STITCH I Are very insy Io manage, and not
liable to i,ct out of urdcr. Every Famll) should
have one.
We v.nnt nn Agent lu every town to Introduce
nud sell them, toMliom wooller the most liberal
Inducements. Send lor our Circular and Sample
Stocking. Addles.
HfNKLEY KNITTING MACHINE CO.,
nov. lu,7i-ly. Bath, Me.
C. HOW E R,
his opened h nrst-class
BOOT, SHOE, HAT CAP, AND t UR STOR E.
at the old stand on !inlnStrect,Hloomsburg,nfew
doors above the Court House, His stock Iscum
pusedot the very latest and best styles ever otrer
etl to the citizens ol Columbia Cotiuty. He can
accommodate tile lfubllc with the following L'ootls
at the lowest rates. Men's heavy double soled
stoga boots, men's double and single tap Bolcd
uip ooois, men s ueavy Bioga snocs oiuu kiuiis.
men's fine boots ami shoes of nil crudes, htiv'n
double soled boots and, shoes of all kinds, men's
glove kid Balmoral shoes.men's, women's, boys's
and misses' lasting gaiters, women's glove kid
Polish very flno.womeii's morocco Balmorals and
calf shoes, women's very tine kid buttoned gait
ers, in suori ooois oi niiaescriptions ootn peg
fu uuu Btnveu.
He would also call attention to his fine assort
ment of
ATS, CAPS, FURS AND NOTIONS.
which comnrlses all the new anil nnnulni vari
eties at prices which cannot fall to suit all. These
goous are owereti ai me lowest, casn rules ami
win oe guaraniceu io give saitsiaciiou. .i ctoi
Is solicited belttre purchasing elsewhere ns it Is
believed that better bargains aro to be found
than at any ntber place lu the county.
Jhu 171
XCHANGE BAKERY
A N U
CONFECTIONERY,
BLOOMSBURG, PA.
The undersigned, successors of F. Wldinjcr,
would usi'oetfully announce lhat they have
taken the well-established staml receutly'occu
pietl by tho above named, lu Bloomsburg, and
prepared to etintluuo tho business of manufac
turing and selling, by
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL,
Confectionery of every stylo and kind. Also,
they will have at all times a complete supply ol
the best and Ireshtst Bread and Cake. Parties
desiring anything In this lino will find It to their
advuuUigo to call on us.
AN ICE CREAM SALOON
Is added tn the establishment, and ladles and
others Mho may patronize us, may rely upon
upon receiving proper attention, A reasonable
share of pubil" patronage is respectfully solicited.
Raspbei ry. Lemetn, and oilier Syrups, In largo
and small quantities, conshmtly on baud.
DECKER A BT ECKEL.
May 5. ll.71.-ly
Hotels.
M
ONTOUR HOUSE
RUPERT, PA.
WILLIAM HUTLEH, Proprietor,
This House having been put In thorough repair
Is now open ft.r the reception of guests. No
pains will bo spared to ensure tho perfect com
fort of tho travelers. Tne Proprietor solicits n
Bhnre of public patronage. Tho bar will be
slocked nt all times with line liquors and cigars,
Janl'71
JgENTON HOTEL.
W. F. PIATT, Proprietor,
BENTON, COLUMBIA COUNTY', PA.
This well known House having been put In
thoiough repair Is now open lor the reception ol
visitors. No pains have been spared to ensure
tho perfect comfort of gut sis, The proprietor
also runs n Singe from the Hotel to Bloomsburg
nnd Intermediate (mint on Tuesday, Thursday
anil Saturday ut each week. (Jan P1S71
rpilE ESPY HOTEL.
ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
The undersigned would Inform tho travelling
iiibllc that lit- has taken the abrwe named esUib
KlmieiiL nnd thoroughly refitted the same for
the perfect convenience of his guests. His larder
will be slocked with tho best the market attords.
The choleestllquois, wines and clgaisalways to
uei loiiuil 111 Pis uttr,
WII.I.IAM Pf.-lTIT.
Espv. Pa.
B
LANK DEEDS.
We now have the finest assortment of It LANK
DKKUS on liaud and for wile that weru ever kept
In liloonihbure. LarKt) on best parehment
paiwr. Common l)edb, Kzecutnr'ttaiid AdmUiU
tratoru Det'du-small htto yool paper (chtap
Cotmuon Deeds. Ac.
THE NATION
Its Rulora and Institutions.
IN ENGLISH AND GERMAN.
m m-h woi in in pnee in uiouoou, LntriMfjniye
umlvnty t'i.W. A UUU linn cut for Canvtibnertt
ln.l.Kitu I tin ,ira ti.,1- il.rM J., ,, t ,fjll,t
tilth ftftii liif tilfitt. liffnr thf tifjit ttiiiipiirvtl
PEEEECT
COMBUSTION.
SIGNAL LIGHT.
The flrfct tmd only keirfeedlDR Anthracllo Coal
niou ever iiiuuuhi iimi wm i curvu
I Vtiikllflin nil I Iih unkHt..
Warrautcd tho BEST HEAilNG STOVE 111
uio country.
Scud for Prlco I.lsl and Circular to
MITCHELL. rU'EVENHON CO.,
btove Muuulacturers, Pittsburgh, Pa.
JUSTICE'S BLANKS.
We now have on hand a large neatly printed
assortment of JUSTICE'S and CONSTABLES
BLANKS, to which we Invite tho attention ol
11 ilu) aii liu eUaredlu fair lerrlloiy, Wrllu nl
once, lor Circular nnd lnfurinallon. NKW
WOIU 1 I IMILIHIIINO CO., Cor. 7lh and Mur-
aei Riri'em,i mmuvjiium. (uti, u, ,4
neve omctis,
BLOOMSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY
Poetical.
Alt, How S'.icct.
nr J011M DIlYDEK,
Ah, how sweet It Is to lovel
Ah, how gay Is young elcslrel
And what pleasing pains wo provo
When wo tint approach lovo's fire!
Pains of lovo are sweeter far
Than all other pleasures are.
Blghs which nro from lovers blown
Do but gently honvo tho heart!
E'en tho tears they shed nlono
Cure, llko trickling bnlm, their smart.
Lovers, when they lose their breath,
Bleed aw.ty In easy death.
Love and Tlmo wllh revcrenco use,
Trent them llko a parting friend',
Nor tho golden gifts rcfuso
Which In youth Rlncere they sondi
For each yr nr their prlco Is more,
And they less slniplolhan before.
Love, llko spring-tides full nnd high,
Swcllsin every youthful vein;
But each tide does less supply.
Till they quite shrink In ngal.
If n flow In ego nppoar,
Tin but rnln, nnd runs not clear.
Thrco l-oics.
I1V LUCY If. 1IOOPEB.
Thcro were throe maidens who loved n king:
They sat together besldo tho sen.
Ono cried, "I lovo him, and I would die
n our, ior one uny he might lovo met"
Tho second whispered, "An 1 1 would dlo
Toaladden his lift, nr mnVn lil m nranl i
Tho third one spoko not, but gazed afar
imurcnniy eyes that wero sail as Fnto.
Tho king, he loved the first for a day.
Tho Becond his life wllh fond lovo blest:
And yet tho woman who never spoko
as uio ono or the thrco who lovo 1 him host.
Miscellaneous.
ouciiiT i xot to havi: :o::l' it.
I know that there aro many cold
blooded nnd obtrusively moral people
who would have called it a cruel and a
criminal act, yet I cannot help regret- J
tliiR that I did not doit. I doubt If any
court of Justice, in view of my extremo
provocation, would liavo found mo cull-
ty of atiythint; woho than Justifiable,
temporary Insanity; and I am confi
dent thitt all right minded men, after
hearing tho story of my wrongs, will
fully ngroo with mo that I ought to
have done it.
The clrcumslnticoaof thoaffjir cannot
be presented in all their enormity un
less tho peculiar relation in which I
stood toward Dick Farrell is first fully
understood. It will, therefore, bo nec
essary to go back to tho period or my
first acquaintance with that individual.
I met him in this wise : Undoubtedly
you remember tho rocky ravino in
which is situated tho town of St. Jean
do Maurienne, formerly tho terminus
on this side of MontCuiis, of tho rail
way from Paris to Turin. I had reach
ed this place ono morning on my way
to Italy, and found that owing to somo
tiicidenial delay, no diligence would
start to cross the mountain till evening.
lonscqucntly, having several hours ut
my disposal, I devoted them to an ex
ploration of tho valley, and finally at
tempted to climb up the steep face of
tho northern side of tho ravine.
Now, I had never been a good climb
er, even in my boyhood, and, ns I was
nt this limo'moro than well, I was in
the prime of manhood, at all events
I ought to havo known better thon to
hnvu made tho attempt. However, I
did not know better, and so laboriously
climbed up tho precipice until 1 found
my-elf on a narrow ledge, where fur
ther prowess upward became impossi
ble. To my great utinoyanco I found.
too, that I could not retrace my steps,
since uny attempt to look down into
the valley, which hiy some two hundred
feet below, made mo excessively gid
dy. At this distance of titno I am wil
ling to confess lhat I was decidedly
frightened as I though of tho probabili
ty of my remaining a hopeless prisoner,
starving to death in full sight of the
hotel which had an excellent tabic
d'hote and of tho railway station.
Hope, which we are led to believe
springs eternal in tho human breast,
fortunately inspired mo with tho happy
thought of firing my revolver as a sig
nal ofdistreso. No sooner liad 1 acted
upon this Idea than tho cntiro popula
tion of St. Jean appeared to becoino
simultaneously nwaro of my position,
and flocked to tho foot of tho prcclplco
lo wntch my anxiously-expected fall.
Owing either to their natural stupidity,
or to their reluctnnco to spoil n proa
pectivo tragedy, theso pcoplo did not
make tho slightest effort to rescuo inc.
Finally, after they had waited two
hours in the vain hope that I would loso
my foothold, they fct up an idiotic
shout at tho nppearanco of o young man
carrying n eoii of ropoon his shoulder.
Presently ho disappeared, followed by
tho greater part of tho crowd ; und I
was about to resign myself to despair
and nn utterly hopeless attempt to
clamber down tho rock, when I wnsdo
lighted by tho ro-appearnnco of tho
young man, who landed suddenly be
sldo me, having been let ddwn by a
ropo from tho top of tho prcclplco.
"Now, old boy," ho remarked, with
Indecent familiarity, as ho unfastened
tho ropo from about Ills waist, " let mo
Just fasten this round you, nnd you'll
bo all right lu n couplo of minutes. Tell
them not to forget mo when you get
to tho top, ior I haven't luitl my din
ner yet 1"
So eaying, ho tied tho ropo under my
arms, shook it as a signal to those
above, encouraged mo witli thorcmark,
"steady, now, old fellow, and good
luck to you !" nnd calmly proceeded to
relight ids cignr, wliilo I was rapidly
hauled through tho nir to a place of
safely.
This young innii was Dick Fttrrell.
Tho ropo wflK again let down, und ho
soon mado his appearance besldo mo.
Luckily ho could i-peak trench, of
Wiich I did not know u single word,
and I appealed to him to rescuo mo
from tho polite, who had promptly ar
rested mo on the charge of having at
tempted to commit suicide, Dick's per
suasivo oratory secured my rulcase,nnd,
being thus doubly indebted to him, I
felt obliged to invito him to tho hotel
and to dinner.
Ho proved to bo n painter of Bomo
sort I know nothing about art on his
way to Rome, and, though ho was lu
tho main honest, and always good-tern
pcred, ho wai altogether too much of a
vagabond to bo n sultablo traveling
companion for a gentleman of my ago
nnd position. I fult this strongly,
when, nftor much consecutivo cham
pagne, ho proposed that wo should
Journey to Romo together. But what
was I to do? Clearly, I could not say
to tho man who had Just saved my llfo:
"Sir, I cannot consent to travel in your
company, because, you wear n prepos
terous hat, nnd aro addicted to perpetu
al smoking and untimoly singing."
Of course I lucked tho courago to say
this, and licnco it followed that for tho
next two weeks wo wero constantly to
gether. I will do him the Justlco to say
that ho novcr attempted to borrow
money from me, and that ho rendered
mo considerable service by nctlng ns nn
interpreter between myself nnd tho na
tives. Still, ids undignified habits
wero a constant sourco of nnnoynnco to
mo. Ho would insist upon my accom
panying him into third-class cars,
whero ho smoked, and sang, nnd drank
chenp wino from ensual bottles, with
chance acquaintances, in n manner dis
reputable In tho extreme. I acquit him
of nny Intentional disrespect in repre
senting to the police of St. Jean that I
wns a lunatic, nnd that ho was my
keeper, since ho solemnly averrea that
by no other pretense could ho have
saved mo from arrest, I cannot, how
ever, excuse his habit of calling mo
"old boy," and tho gross familiarity
with which ho criticised my personal
appearance, and what ho was ploascd
to call "my Jolly greenness."
After wo reached Romo, as was quito
natural, wo saw a great deal of each
other. It so happened that wo ono day
visited tho Catacombs of St. Calixlus.
Thoguido who was witlt us was ex
plaining tho skeletons and things with
great apparent eloquence, and Dick was
translating his remarks to mo With com
ments and additions of his own, when
wo camo upon another party, consist-
lug of a iniddlo-nged lady, her daugh
ter, and, of course, their guide. As
they wero evideutly Americans, wo
stopped and conversed a few moments
with them, nnd ultimately nccepted
their invitation to accompany them
through tho rest of tho catacombs-
Dick escorting tho mother, whilo I
walked by thosldo of the pretty daugh
ter. Pretty Is Just tho word which do-
scribed her. Sho was not strictly beau
tiful, but her manner was extremely at
tractive, and sho had, moreover, an
idea of tho respect duo to a man of my
character nnd position in life, which 1
havo found that young girls, ns it rule,
seldom have. I soon learned thaUhcr
mother, a widow lady, was from New
York, and that they wero both well
acquainted with the family of my bus
iness partner. Wo therefore rapidly
becaino us familiar ns old acquaint
ances; and presently, whilo Dick, with
ids accustomed impudence, was giving
the old lady a history of tho catacombs
of which I urn certain that he knew
absolutely nothing tho daughter drew
close to mo and whispered :
"Would you dare get me u little piece
of bone out of ono of tho niches ? They
aro all saints' bones, you know, but the
guide won't let me havo nny, and, bo-
sides, I can't reach them, though I do
so long for a pteoa of saint !"
I need not say that I stole somo saint
a rib I think it was and my new ac
quaintance was delighted with it. Tito
girlish pleasure with which she hid tho
bone in tho folds of her dress, nnd in
sisted that she "was ever so much oblig
ed to tne," together with the childish
eagerness with which sho had whisper
ed her request, completely channel
me. In fact I fell in lovo with heron
tho spot, nnd determined that I would
marry her if sho would give her consent.
When wo parted at tho entrance of tho
catneombs I was warmly invited by
both ladies to call upon them, nnd to
bring my friend with mo.
To visit Miss Scott in company with
Dick was precisely what I did not wish
to do. But hero, again, I could not
help myself. Though Dick professed
to ho n warm admirer of tho widow, it
always happened that, soon after our
arrival at tho Scotts' apartment, he
would rnanago to be in closo conversa
tion witli Susie, while I fell n prey to
tho mother, whoso conversational pow
ers were of tho most oppressive charac
ter. Tho same thing used to occur
when wo visited tho ruins nnd palaces
together, which wo did nearly every
tiny. Still I felt no fear of his rivalry.
Susie evidently liked me, and always
appeared delighted toseetne. Besides,
I never font moment supposed that sho
could prefer n penniless vagabond to a
man of means nnd re cognized respecta
bility. All this is merely introductory, and
though tho preceding statements havo
n teiide ney to mako a short story long,
still it was necessary, as I havo said bo-
fore, that tho preelso unturo of my Inti
macy wilh Dick should bo set forth be
fore I could ask tho question, "Ought I
not to havo done ItV"
Ono day wo prevailed upon tho ladles
to mako a visit to St. Peter's. In order
to mako tho excursion pnrtuko some
what of tho nuturo of n picnic, it was
ugreed that wo should tako our lunch
with us, und eat It on tho immense roof
of tho church. In order to make suro of
securing Susio for myself, I prevailed
upon Mrs, bcott to Invito tho Roy. Lo
onidas W. Smiley, who was then in
Rome, to accompany us; Intending lo
inveigle that worthy dlvlnolnto acting
as an escort to tho willow. I never
thought what would becoino of Dick If
thus left without u lady companion, nor
wero my suspicions aroused by tho sar
castic i-inilo with which l.o praised my
forethought In Inviting tho clergyman.
"If any Rceident shoujd hnppejj If
you should break your neck, for exam
pie," ho remarked "it would bo so
handy to havo a clergyman ready I"
Tho dny appointed for tho picnic, of
course, arrived. Never shall I forgot
tho sulfations with which I ascended
the lor.g, winding, inclined piano which
lends up to tho roof of tho church.
had determined to ofTer myself to Susie
in tho couito of tho dny ; and, though I
had no doubt as to tho result, yet tho
novelty und importance of tho step I
1G, 1872.
UOL.
was about to tako mado mo soinowhat
nervous. I had, too, nn undefined nnd
wholly unacknowledged feeling Hint
sho wns not, after all, precisely tho sort
of wife for me. She know absolutely
nothing of business, nud was about as
ignorant of tho dull as pertaining to tho
position for which 1 Intended her ns n
girl could well ho. Nevertheless, I had
so strong n fancy for the gay little but
terily, that I felt the Impossibility of
existence, npart from her. For weal or
for woo sho held my fato in her hands,
and I determined that those dear little
hands should bo mine, como what
might.
Beforo wo had our lunch wo wero lo
nscend tho dome At this stago of af
fairs I succeeded In placing tho widow
inchargo of tho clergyman, and, with
Susie, began tho nscout of tho countless
stairs. Dick, Iiowovcr, followed so
closely bohlnd ti3 In order, ns ho pro
tended, to keep Susio from fulling that
I could find no opportunity to nsk her
tho question which was on my lips. At
Inst wo reached tho lnntcru, nud only
Iho crcnt copper ball remained lobo ex
plored. As Mrs. Scott declined to en
ter tho ball, I waited with Susio until
her mother lmd gone out upon tho out
er gallery, vainly hoping that tho long
sought for moment had arrived. But
scarcely had her mother disappeared
when tho young lady announced her
intention of climbing into tho ball,
whereupon tho officious Dick ran up
tho iron ladder to assist her. When
they had both succeeded in entering
the stifling don whero no man of sense
over willingly placed himself she
cried out that no ono elso was to como
up on any account, for. sho was afraid
tho ball would break looso under nny
additional weight. I was thus forced
to stay at tho foot of tho ladder while
they remained in the ball, cngngrd
during whnt seemed to mo an intolera
ble length of time In nn nnimated con
versation, conducted in a tone so low
that I cnttlil not hear a single word that
wns said.
When they finally descended, Susie's
faco was flushed by tho heat of tho
place, she said whilo Dick looked tin'
commonly grave, and gnawed his
moustacho with n nervous, dissatisfied
nir. Had he been nny ono else tho
Rev. Mr. Smiley, for example I
should havo believed that ho had off
ered himself to Susio nnd been rejected ;
but being simply tho penniless vaga
bond that ho wns, tho idea of nny such
conduct on his part was too ridiculous
to he entertained for n momont.
At last wo turned to descend to tho
roof nnd I saw that tho momont fur mo
to press my intentions townrd Susio
had nrrived. Lingering dexterously in
tho rear until tho widow and the cler
gyman wero safely out of sight, I led
Susio cut upon tho gallery under tho
pretext of showing her n part of tho
landscape which sho hnd noticed. As
wo leaned over the railing, I looked
around to make suro that Dick wns out
of sight, and then began : "My dear
Miss Susan, I'diavo something to say to
you."
sno iooKeu nt me n momont wnn
startled ryes, and then, putting her
hands together, with an Imploring lit-
tlo gesture, she cried:
"Oh. nleaso don't!"
"Don't what?" asked I, puzzled by
her conduct.
"Don't pleaso say anything ; I mean
don't 1 oh I just look what a pretty
flower I How I wish I had it."
Tho child was evidently confused and
frightened, t was about to explain
myself more fully, when Dick appeared
upon tho scene, carrying upon his arm
a shawl belonging to somo one of tho
parly, and asked what was tho matter.
"Tnat beautiful little pink llower,
there on tho dome," shu answered "if
I could only reach it!"
"You siiall havo It," ho replied ; and
thon, tossing ono end or the shawl to
me, with tlio request that 1 would hold
on to it, ho seized Iho other end, nnd
wns over tho railing nnd sliding down
the slippery surface of tho dome beforo
I know well what was his Intention.
Tho flower was growing on n little
projection not moro than twelve feet
below us. Dick, however, had placed
himself in a horribly d tngcrous posi
tion ; for, though hecou'd remain for n
time resting witli one f.iot on this pro
jection, it was impossible for him to
gain tho gallery without tho aid of tho
Bhawl to which ho was clinging. He
paid not n particlo of attention to my
peremptory demand that ho should
come back nt once, but, quietly seizing
the flower and putting it temporarily
Into his bosom, ho looked up to Susie,
who was pitching him silently with
excess or terror, and said :
"ion Know what l asked you just
now. Will you promise ?"
Sho cnly replied : "Como back, Mr.
Farrell, tlo, please. You frighten mo
to death."
"Susie," returned tho scoundrel, with
tho utmost solemnity, "unless you glvo
me your promise this moment, I will let
go tho shawl, for I don't care a straw for
my life."
"Como back directly, sir," I shouted,
"or I'll let go tho shawl myself. Don't
you seo how you alarm Miss Scott with
your confounded nonsense?"
The villain never heeded my exist
ence. "Promise me, Susie," ho repeated,
"or I bwtur I'll let go."
"Yes, yes, Dick, I promise," she cried.
"Dear Dick, do como back. I will
murry you."
Tills, then, was the result of my
months of devotion to that shameless
girl. This was what camo of my con
descension toward n miserable, unprin
cipled painter. Beforo my very eyes,
In my very hearing, ho had gnhicd n
promlsoofmnrriago from tho lady whom
1 had intended to marry myself.
Beforo I could fully realise his as
tounding villainy, he had climbed buck
agulu, and had Susio in his arms, I
blush for humun nature when Imem
tion thu fuct Unit ho actually kissed her
In my presence,
1 tossed the shawl down, and turned
away without speaking, Beforo I had
gone many steps Susio overtook mound
said : "Pleaso forgl vo mo If I havo giv
en you any pain, Mamma wouldn't let
i mo seo Dick unless you wero by, and so
DEM. - VOL. XXXV NO. 62,
I had to bo civil to you. Besides, I do
llko you evcrso much, nnd If you would
only marry mamma, it wo id bo so
nlco."
"1 really think you'd better," chimed
in Dick. "There's a clergyman hero,
you know, nnd i t could bo dono nt once."
There I I havo told tho wliolo story,
nnd tho fids havo been stated precisely
ns they occurred. It only remains for
mo to nsk tho question, Would I havo
boon porfcctlyjustlfled In letting go tho
shawl, and thus putting a sudden nnd
nn effectual end to mytreachcrous rival's
suit? To bo sure, ho had on a former
occasion saved my life doubtless for
purposes of his own, nnd certainly
without waiting for mo to request that
favor from lilm. But did that excueo
his subsequent conduct? Just look nt
It in nil Its hldoousncss. Whilo I held
his llfo in my hnnds for nothing could
havo saved him iiad I lot go tho shawl
ho dared to nsk my intonded wlfo to
marry him, nnd whnt Is worse, actually
gained her consent. Could any ono
havo blamed mo had I let go my hold ?
Ought I not in havo dono it ?
Tho moro I think of it, tho moro I
nm convinced that Justice to myself,
pity for tho unfortunate girl whom
Dick cruolly made a sharer In his pov
erty, ns well ns a due sonso or tho guilt
or his outrageous conduct, demanded
that I should havo dropped tho shawl.
And I don't hosltato to say that I nm
confoundedly sorry that I did not do it.
ltomniice of History.
A curious bit of history, showing
what n narrow escape tho ox-Empress
Eugenlo had from becoming tho wife
of an American gentleman, has just
como to light. Tho fact is thus recited
by n relalivo of ono of tho parties: "In
1851 tho undo or tho writer resided as
American minister nt Paris, with n
largo family nrottnd him. At this tlmo
thero nppeared in society there Eugenie
Mnrln do Guzman, Countess do Monti
jo, n lovely person nnd nristocrntic
name securing her brilliant conquests
in that society, and constituting her
ono of tho famous ladies in Paris. It
was thought, nnd indeed freely remark
ed, that her mother was moro ambi
tious thnn herseir; thnt tho mother
designed her for somo grcnt alliance,
whilo Eugenlo herself appenrcd a model
of simple sincerity, a girl who would
chooso to consult her heart in any mnt-
rimonlnl nffalr. Her sister had just
mnrrled tho Duko of Alba and Ber
wick, a lineal descendant of James II.
of England; nnd tho worthy Donna
Maria no doubt designed at least an
equal matrimonial destiny for tho more
beautiful of her daughters. But the
heart is not always to bo controlled,
even in Iho most nrlstocralic life, or to
yield lo its exnctlons or convenience,
Eugenie lost hers to n flno looking
liiondo Virginian, youngWilllnm Rives
son of tho American minister. They
wero engaged to bo married, but Aunt
Judy Rives, a Virginia matron, very
decided and angular in her scruples,
interfered and broko off tho match.
Tho Countess was too 'fast' for her old
Virginia views or social sobriety. Tho
woman for whom tho futuro had re
served so much escaped tho compara
tively humhlo match that her heart
had decided upon tho destiny or n
quiet Virginia housewire to ascend tho
throne of France. Alas, whnt other
contrasts may yet remain for lier. If
nn event had been ordered different,
if n prospective mother-in-law had
proved complacent, tho Empress, tho
woman who 1ms ndorned tho throne of
France nnd displayed to tho world the
charms of another Cleopatra, might at
this titno be n quiet country matron
living in a farm houso near Cobhnm do-
pot, county of Albemarle, and State of
Virginia."
An Ingenious Instrument.
Drnz, n mechanlcof Geneva, produced
a clock which excelled all others in In
cenuily. On It wero seated a negro, n
shepherd nnd n dog. When tho clock
struck, tho shepherd played six tunes on
his flute, nnd tho dog nppronched nnd
fnwned upon him. This wonderful
machine was exhibited to tho King of
Spain, who was greatly delighted with
it.
"Tho gentleness of my dog," said
Droz, "is his least merit. If your ma
jesty toucii oneof tlionpplcs which you
see in tho shepherd's basket, you will
admire die animal's fidelity."
Tho King took an apple, nnd tho dog
flew nt Ills hand barking so loudly that
tho King's dog, which was in tho room,
began to hark also. At this tho court
iers, not doubting that it was an affair
or witchcraft hastily left tho room,
crossing themselves ns tlioy depnrted
Hnvlng desired tho Minister of Marino
(tho only ono who ventured to remain)
to ask tho negro what o'clock it was,
Iho Minister did so, but obtained no ro
ply. Droz then observed that tho no
gro had not yet learned Spanish, upon
which tho question was repeated in
French, when tho black immediately
nnswered him. At this prodigy tho
firmness of tho Minister niso forsook
him, and ho retreated precipitately,
declaring that it must bo tho work of a
supernatural being.
A San Fiiancisco paper speaks or a
safo constructed by an ingenious mo
clianlc of that city. To lllustrato Its
burglar proor qualities, ho had himseir
locked up insldo or it, with nn ample
supply or provisions, nnd offered to
glvo $1000 to tho man who could unlock
tho door. That was about two weeks
ago; sinco which tlmo all tho black
smiths nnd burglars nnd carpenters in
tho Slate, hnvu been busily boring and
blnstlngnnd bcutlDg nt tho safe, and tho
man Is thero yet. Ho lias whispered
through tho keyholo that ho will mako
tho reward $10,000, but fears uro enter
tained that tho only wny to releaso tho
prisoner, will bo to melt him up wllh
tho sure lu n blast furnace.
Boswell onco asked Johnson irthero
was no poKslblo clreumstanco under
which sulcldo would bo Justifiable
" No," said Johnson. " Well," 9ald
Boswell, "supposo n a man had been
guilty or fraud, and that ho was cer
tain to bo found out." "Why then,"
was tho reply, "in that ense, let him go
to somo country whero he Is not known
and uot to tho devil, whero ho Is
KUOWU."
One Inrli, (twelve llnrs or its en.nlvtt'wil In
Nonpareil type) one or twoluortlou.i, II.IO three
Insertions, tl'H
BPACE.
lit, :n. 8it. DM. It,
Ono Inch 53 61 11.00 11,00 10,00 l0,Ol
Twiilnenes s.to 8 00 7. 9,0) l.o)
Thren Inches............ 6,00 7,00 ,00 K'.ir) 10 1
Kour inches 7,J 0,00 11,00 17,0) 2V0
quarter colurau ln.oo 12,01 u,w ai,i m.m
Half column,. l.l.on ls,no ai,lo i,oi i,n
Ono column 30,00 SS.uj ),x cj,oo lay)
Executor's or Administrator's Noltse, FJ,0O
Andltor's cr Asslgnce'i Notlco, U2.W.
Local notices, twenty cents a line.
Cards In tlm "fluslness Directory' cotnmn,
S2. per year for tho first lwo lines, anil 51,'xi far
caeli additional lino.
Humorous.
A wit being requested to "say n good
thing," laconically responded "Oys
ters." A lot or tho prolllest lltllo coffins
ror Chrlstmn9 you ovor saw," was ti
Kentucky advertisement.
A llllio Indiana trirl dotormtned to
rotaln n souvenir of hor faithless lover,
bit off his thumb and qwallowou it.
Tn Ann Arbor. Mich., saloon keonors
aro subjected to a spoclal tax of $100 to
nay a special ponco ior arresting wiuiu
on Sundays.
A man died suddenly from lntompc
ranco, and a Western Jury found thnt
"deceased camo to his death by drink
ing between drinks."
A boarding houso keeper mixed somo
patent medicino tn his hash because it
was advertised ns a euro for consump
tion. A panorama ot tho Chlcneo Uro is
criticised by a southern paper as bearing
a strong Tcsemblanco to a soeond-hnnd
bed quilt.
Tho Clovelnnd Leader says that tho
musician who put his llpstoa bras horn
on a recent cold day, will not bo nblo
to let go until navigation opens.
Annffected Illinois father advertised
for his runaway daughter, promising
her lover fUpO if ho will send her homo
ngaln.
A wlfo having lost her husband, was
inconsolable for his death. "Leavo mo
to my grief," sho cried sobbing, " you
know tho extremo sensibility of my
nerves; a mcro nothing upsets them."
A Kansas paper state tho ca'o this
way: Mr. , or Missouri, got to own
ing horses thnt did not belong to him,
and tho next thing ho know ho could
not get his feet down to the ground.
HoBtrnnglcd.
A Pennsylvania paper, in speaking
of a songstress, says: "Sho beats :.Us
on high notes. Thero was no music or
chest tono in her voice, but It wvsnbnut
six octaves abovo tho screech of u lost
Indian."
A Michigan p.iper thus delicately an
nounces a death from a "non-explosive":
"Mrs. Maria Framley gavo tip
tho bad habit of using keroseno for kin
dling fires, on Thursday last."
An Iowttcaglu mado ono fell swoop
and pounced upon u young and tender
pig. Contrary to till precedent, Iiow
ovcr, tho porker proved resistant and
slow the proud bird of freedom.
A precocious boy in a public scbo .l
out west, who stands high in geogra
phy, was recently usked by his teacher
whero Africa Is located. Ho promptly
answered," All over tho United States."
An Ohio clergymnu hnd nn ntidlenco
or Just ono ills wlfo Thanksgiving
day, so ho didn't preach, but sent his
sermon to tho nearest religious prtjer,
and It wns printed. The paper has
been lo3iug subscribers ever since.
A man In Nebraska said ho could
handlo a rattlesnuko tho same way as a
snako charmer. Tho churlishness of
tho undertaker in demanding pay ia
advance delayed tho funeral four days.
A member of tho Board or Supervis
ors in a county in Mississippi, otjected
to levying six mills on tho dollar for
school purposes, because thero wero
only eight mills In tho county, and ono
of them didn't huvo water enough to
run hair tho year.
Mr. Taylor, or Lafayette. Ind.. Ims'a
number of small white spots on various
parts 01 ms anatomy, tho prevailing
colors, however, aro black and blue,
illuminated with sanguinary gasnes.
He shaved his mulo's tail.
A few weeks ago a hundred men took
a special train and thirty greyhounds
and started In pursuit of rabbits. Tho
rains set in and tho party, arter a week's
hunting returned after bagging flvo
cases of dipthcria, several sprained un
ifies, ono black eye, anu one rabbit.
The Louisvillo Journal, referring to
the fact that somebody is going to build
a hotel In Rhodu Island ninety-two
feet lone nnd sixty foot wide, expresses
astonishment that thenuthorltlesshould
permit anybody to put tho State nil
under one rooT, in that way."
little til rl remarked to her mamma
on going tn bed. "1 am not afraid of
tlio dark." "No, of courso you uro
not," replb-d her mamma, "I was a
little afraid once, when I went In tho
pantry tn get a tnrt." "What were
you afraid ol?" asked her mamma. "I
was afraid I could not find tho tail."
A public man In this count rv was
onco accused of drunkenness, und his
friends weio very indignant. Somo
one suggested that public per.-ons were
always lied about. "I don't cure for
lies," he sold; "but the trouble with
tills story Is, they proe it."
A meek, uncomplaining woman In
Columbus, Ohio, attempted to persuade
her husband witli tho too of her boot,
missed her mark, nnd kicked her child
Into eternity. The Jury disagreed on
tlio question whether tlm husbni d
should be convicted of minder or man
slaughter In the first degree.
Greeley says that the best wi.y to
raiso early pop-corn U to start it now.
Put tlio corn, any kind will do, in a
corn popper, nnd suspend In tho sum
over n pnti of wnter till tho shoots gn w
out between tho wins; then in iho
spring set out in pots or beds, and li
foro Juno tho popped corn will he hat. g
Ing in little paper bags all over tho
branches.
A farmer in San Joaquin, CiiIifon.i.i.
recently scattered some wheat, soaked
with whisky, over a field frequented
by wild geese. The silly fowls gorge d
themselves with thoeeduciivobunqui-i.
and got so tight that they could not lly;
the farmer stepped .in hi d dispatched
six hundred of them with a club.
Brltz wes n character and ulways in
litigation. Ono day whilo stnndlng on
a street corner, a constnblo approached
him and presented him a paper. "What
is dat?" said Britz. "It is a summons,
sir. You havo been sued beforo Squire
Purvis." "Veil, nowjust tnkoit right
back; I dees my business mit Squlio
Gongilc."
a uauimoro lauy uio una been ex
ceedingly annoyed by boys who rung
tho door bell nnd then ran nwny, finally
set a trap ror them by which n pnil of
water was to be spllhd uion the next
person that rang the bell. In a few
minutes her pastor culled and wns bap
tized, but retired without making i
visit.
A Chnrlestown, Mass., photoeippher
gives a striking instnneo of feminine
artifice, Whilo nnanginp tlio Instal
ment preparatory to taking a y( ut g
huly'sj plctuie, ho suddenly turned to
givo seme directions to his fair custom,
cr, when to his astonishment he Lehi Id
her busily cngngrd lu stuffing Jier
cheeks with paper to fill out the niea
gro proportions wiileli nuturo lmd to
rudely Lcglcctcd,
A Western editor, In cckricwledglng
tho gift of a peck or potatoes, says: "it
Is such klndursssesns theso that bring
tears to our eyes, uno dcck oi pout
toes makes the whole world kin. Wo
hnvo trusted in Piovldence, nnd thlsls
our reward. Wo would like a little
kindling wocd and somo gocd turnips,
but that would bo asking too much, so
wo will try nud do without them."