IrUDLlSHED EVEItY FMDAY MOtlNINU
IdltB COMJMMAH HUIt.niKn REAIlTllISCOmiT
1IOUSB, 11V
HENRY L. DIEFFENBACH,
KniToit and rnoritiuion,
ennJ"Two Dollars a Year papblo la ndvaneo.
OIROTOATION J3BOO.
JOD PRINTING
lfll tlcscrlptloiis executed with neatness and
dispatch at reasonable rates.
Bloomsburg Directory.
STOVES AND TINWARE.
i ai. nut -j-.tw . uL-aiur in move-, cciinwnre.uu
I , pert block, Mala St. west of Market, vl-n 13
r ACOll METZ, dealer lu stoves and tinware
I Mam street, nuovo courmousc. vi-ma
CLOTHING, &a.
B
.AVID LOWENnEItO, Merchant Tailor, Main
J Bl,, Ml uuoi uuuvu jviiivuciin House, Vl-llli
rrM. MOIXIIIS, Merchant Tailor corner of Cen-
tronnu wain hi.., over tinier s store, vy-uaj
drugs, chemicals, &c.
p. LUTZ, DruggtstandApotliccary. Main st.
, below tho Tost Olllce, vl-u41
L
lOYfiii iuiu.-i., uruggisu nuu Apothecaries,
1 llfower's block Muln st, vl-nlj
CLOCKS, WATCHES, &0.
TENKYZUlTlNaEll, Watches, Spectacles A
Jjewelry 4c, MulnHtrcet near West bt. Y3-iil5
v.. RAVAGE, dealer In Clocks. Wntlip nml
.jewolry, Muln St., Just below tho Anicilcnn
louse. vl-13
ioUlS BEKNHAKD, Watch and Clock maker.
u near souiucasi corner aiain anu iron stH. vl-l.l
CATHCAItT. Watch and Clock Makcr.Mar.
K, ket street, below Main, vl-u IJ
BOOTS AND SHOES.
M. I1UOWN. Hoot and MinpinnUnr. fViili-rt
, street, rear ofltobblns & Eycr's Htoru. vl-u 13
AVID 11ETZ, Hoot and fihoeniakcr, Main si..
below iiuriinuiissiore,wcsi oi AiurKCt. vl-u
rcnNIlY KLEIM, Manufacturer and dealer In
1 Hoots nuil Hhoes. Groceries, etc.. Main street.
tut lilooiasburs. v) - i I.i
PROFESSIONAL.
itt. H. C. HOWEIt, Surgeon Dentist, Main st..
f uuovo UIO t-ouri, uuuse. vl-n 1J
rR. WM. M. ItEIlER, Surgeon and 1'hyslclan,
LKxchango llloek over Webb's booksloi o vU-nW
Ml. n, F. KINNEY, Surgeon Dentist. Teeth
extracted without pain: Main St., nearly op
hite ispiscopui uiiurcu, vi-n 10
II. IKELEn. Attorney.at-I.iw, Olllce, 2d
lloor InExchuuue llloek. near Ihu "Exchange
iblel." vll-iil
O. 11ABKLEY. Attorney-nt-Lrtw. Olllce. 2d
U. Hour In Excbungo Jllock. near tho "Exchnniio
Botcl." VI-113
B. McKELV Y, M. D., Surgeon and Physician,
.norllislde Main St., below Market. vlnlJ
n. EVANS, M, D., Burgeon and rhyslclan,
south sido Main street, below Market. vl-iiM
0. IlUTTEIt. M. D. Suraoon and l'hTslelan
I, Market street, abovo Mnln, vl-uU
11. ItoniSON, Attorniy-ol-ljiw, Office Hart
, mau's building, Main strett. vl!-iilM
IlIILLINERY & FANCY GOODS.
. opposite Eplfecopnl Cbureh, Muln Bt, vl-utJ
DITPDIUM A.IHI. ....... 1,1. 1 l.-nnm. flnrul.
HISS LIZZIE 11AIUCLEY. Milliner, ltamsev
1 uuuuiug 41U1U stiLet, vi-UM
1IISS A. D. WEBB, Enney Goods, Notions,
I Looks, and Stationery. Lxebuuee llloek. Main
Ireet. vl-nlj
KISS M. DEIIUICKSON, Millinery and Fancy
liuoous, ALainsi., uejow luucei. vi-nu
HUH. E. KLINE. Millinery and Fancy Goodsl
t wain biretl ueiow jiaiuei. vi-ui"
LlltS. JULIA A, A HADE HAUKLEY, Ladles'
1 (Jlouks ana Dress I'atlfinj. southeast corner
ialuand Weststs. vl-uM
HIE MlfMES HAHMAN Milllnerv and Fancy
B UuoUt, Main st., below American House, vlu41
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
nOI.UMIUA 1101 EL, by 1!. Stoliner,
Main s
; aeove court Jlouse.
Mn
tOUHS HOTEL,
by T. llent, Taylor, east i n"
vl-41
f or Main street.
piDMYEIt A JACOBY, Confectionery, Eakery
I and Oyster Saloon, wholesalo and retail. Ex-
page Block, Main strict. vl-iili
MERCHANTS AND GROCERS.
C. MAItll. Dr- Goods and Notions, south'
west corner Muln and Iron sts. V1-UJ3
n.SEESIIOLTK. dealer In 1-ry Goods. Gro-
'Cerles. Boots. Shoes. Ac., corner Main anil
toa streets. V3-U30
A. UECKLEY. Hoot and Hlinn storn. Irnolm
.& stationery, Main st., below Market, vl-uU
JACOBS, Confectionery, groceries etc.,
, it., below Iron
Mnln
vl-16
MENDENITAr.r, fii-nornl Rloclr of Mprclmii-
Mwlck roud. vl-uU
i.uise ana IAllnt r. , nrner of Alnfn ht refit ana
uolesule and retail, Exchuugo Block. vl-ul3
. Main st., ab'ovo Court House. vl-mJ
J. BROWEH. Drv Goods. Groceries, etc.. cor-
. aerMalnst. una Court liouso alley, vl-u 1 1
IU1IBIKS a KYKU. dealer In Dry Goods, Gro-
pvi.ici, etc., i,,r, Aiuiu uuu ueuiro sis. vi-ni.s
( . . . - ......
K. OlltTflN. Onioi.rlou A lrnvlRlmiB Mnln
.cireei ueiow Market, vl-m
I K. EYRll nrnMi.lr.G n ml Onnnrnl Xfprnhnti.
.'Use, Main St.. above West. vl-ft
'KELVY, NEAL A CO , dealers lu Diy Gooils,
E. cor. Maiu und Maiket sts. vl-nti
II. MILLEIl A SON, dealer lu Dry Goods,
v. urocenes, ijueeuswiire, riour, ran, r-uoe.s.
ollous, etc., Excliango llloek, Main st. vl-u I-
MISCELLANEOUS.
W1TMAN, Murble WoiUs, onodoor below
, iuv uiuee, jiuin mreci, vi-iiu
ILOOMSHOIta LUMBEIt CO.. manufacturers
&ad dealers In Lumber of all Kinds ; 1'laulnu
U near the railroad. vlnlii
KOSTEIt.Gluo Maker, and Whlto ond Fancy
!. luuuer,Seottown. vUU7
M. C1IIHSTMAN. Saddle. Trunk a Harness
i lauiier, unive a liioeK jhuiu nireei. vijiuu
V. ltOHBINH.lluuor dealer second door from
1 northwest corner Muln and Iron sts. vl-nll
11. 11IDLEMAN. Agent for Munsou's Copper
J, TIIOUNTON. Wall Paper. Window Shades
sua fixtures, Ilupert block, Main st. vl-13
V. nnnvj t.
rbrlck, Main Street, weBt of Market st
Furniture Itooms, threo story
viiiu
tKOSENSTOCK.I'hotographer, over Itobblns
I S. KUI1N. dealer lii M.eat. Tallow, etc.. Cheni'
f berllu's alley, rear of American llousu. vlull
lyilN A. FUNSTON A CO.. liuiluul ond cash
"-'c'.nreinsuraueecompanies.uruwer s iiuuu-
-'iuiu ireei, vi-uw
lACOTl Tlll?li'171i,VllAnir. ltrnmn I'iiHafv. fir.
su'isieiiai jus resiueui-u uruiouutrA nuns
we promptly tilled, Ilest green Western brush
ll vl-ula.
BAME3 CADMAN, Cabinetmaker and Chair.
' yr.BAMI'LE A Co.,Machlnlsts,i:astlllooms.
enre.ueor Ijick. H. 11. CustlugB made at short
'ee. Machinery mada and repaired. V2-U21
L in I.NQLEn. dealer In pianos, organs and
u, iY.v.oreii'siurmiuro rooms
Vl-ut3
RA,l'VE.JACOBY, Marble and Brown Ston7
HWMks, East llloomsburg.Uerwick road, vl-ulo
lV i LEC0CK'0lI"'y I'ubllc, northeast corner
I'l Malnanri xiuriiwi nt. ,i..,j
i, .r-T- .
l "-.'.'ft'"', dealer In furulture, ti links, ceder
-...uw ware, near tno furus jioiei, vi-ma
Buck Horn,
I .?or!iH' fllOEMAKEIt, dealers In diy
''kffo!f,t.otclf!J, u'ia oenl meiehaudlse.
1 "ore In south end w towu, vii-uis
VOLUME IV---NO 10.
Orangcvillo Directory.
A E. W. COLEMAN, Merchant Tailors and
A.. Urmt's furnishing Goods, Main Bt next door
to tho llrlck Hotel,
It. lIEniUNO A llItOTHEIl.Carpcnters and
, Iluildcrs, Main st below l'luo. vl-nl7
BOWEll A HEimiNO, dealer In Dry Goods,
Groceries, Lumber and general Merchandise,
jMuiuni. Vl-1117
KICK 1IOTEL nnd refreshment Saloon, bv
itourM'Ilcnry cor.of Main andI'lnost.,vl-ni7
Dlt. p. A.MEGAItar.L.l'hj-slcInn nnd Surgeon,
Main st next door to Good's Hotel, vl-iH7
1) Ooalorlu grain, lllll street.
i.ivin irt-i,t,txtrt
Flour and arlstMlil.iiud
vl n 17
UH.AO. KELCHNEIt.Illacksmlti.s,on Mill
. Street, near I'lne, V1-U47
li.r.pWAUns.rhyslclanand Surgoou, Main
st,,tlrst door abovo M'Henry's Hotel. vl-n'.'J
TAMEH H. HAHMAN. Cabinet Make: and Un
o derlaker. Main St., below I'luo, vl-nJ7
M, HAHMAN, Suddlo and Harness maker.
, Main st., oppslto Frame Church. vL'nll
CHU YLElt A LOW, Iron routiners, Machinists,
and Mauuluctuicrs of plows, Mill St, vl-ni
SAMUEL Bit AHPLESS, Maker of thollayhursl
Oram Crndlo. Main St. v'Jn?.
WIIJ.TAM DEI.ONG Shocmakcrana inanufnc
tuerof llrlck, Mill St., west of l'ine vlnl'J
Oatawissa.
B
F. DALLMAN, Merchant Tailor, Second SI,
Itobblns' Building. vi-nl;'
l) Second St., below Main,
txll T r IrntinlMa
Hurgcou and I'liyslclan
vinit(
GILBERT A KLINE, drj- goods, groceries, and
general mercliandlso, Main Street vH-nU
T II. KISTLElt, "Catlawlssn House,"
Nivrlh
v'.'nl'i
, Corner Main und Kteoiul Streets,
KEILKH, Illllard Saloon, Oysters, nnd Ire
, Cream In season Main St. v2nh!
M,
M, 11HOHST, dealer In General Merchaudlio
Dry Goods, Groceries Ac. vS-uls
SUSQUEHANNA or llrlck Hotel, H. Koslcn
bunder l'ronrlctor.sonth-east Lorncr Alain una
becond Street. V2uh!
1). HINAltD, dealer In Stoves and Tln-wui
wale,
V2nl2
, iuuui nireei.
TX7M. II. ABBOTT, Attorney at law, Main St.
Light Street.
II,
V. OMAN A Co., Wheelwrights, Hist door
abovo School Houso. vlnlii
JOHN A. OMAN, Manufacturer nnd dealer In
Loots nnd Shoes, vlnlO
T J. LEISEK, M. I)., Surgeon nnd 1'hyslclan.
Olllcont Keller's Hotel, vluTt
PETEIt ENT, dealer In Dry Goods Groceries,
Flour, Fied.Sull, Fish, lion, Nails, etc., .Main
R.
H. ENT, denier in Stoves and Tin wnro In
all Us branches. vlnlii
Espy.
EE. HEIOHAItD.A lino.,dealer in Dry Goods,
Groceries, nnd gcucial Merchandise, v'.'ull
PSPY STEAM I'LOUHING MILLS, C.S. Fowler,
j l'ropiletor. vjmi
D. WEHKHEISElt, Hoot nnd Shoo Store and
JllUllUIUCtotv. Shot, fin Mnln Ktrppl. un.
posito tho Steam Mill. vl'ul
W. EDO AH, Susquehanna I'luulngMIll nnd
Hotels.
T
mii ESPY HOTEL.
ESPY, COI.UJtniA COUNTY, PA.
Tho imdcrsicned would lnfnrm thnlrnvpnim
imullclhat lie Jms taken llio nbovoinitin'il rtnit.
IUhmont and thoroughly retltted the same for
tho perfect convenience of his guests. His larder
will bo Blocked With tliobost the nmrltot nHortls.
TJie choicest liquors, wines nnd cigars always to
UB 1UUUU 1U U1H uur.
WJIjUAM I'KTTIT.
Apr.23,G!)-tf Kspy, l'a.
jRICK HOTEL,
OUANGUVILLE, COLUMII1A COUV.TY, PA.
TlOlIIt M'nEKRY, Proprietor.
Tills well known House, havlnc heen rut In
thorough repair, Is now open lo llio travelling
public. Tho bar is t.tocktd with tho choicest
liquors and cigars.niuUho table will be, at all
tlines.sunnlled with the delicacies of tho season.
Un patns will be spared to Jmuie the comloit of
MONiOUIl HOUSE
HUPIIKT, PA.
WILLIAM BUlLKIt, Proprietor,
This Houso havlnKbceii put in thoioush rennlr
Js now open i(.r the rtciptlon of yuests. No
pains will bo spared to ensure tho perfect com
lortoftho travelers. Tiio I'roprleior solirlt.s a
share of public pntionoKP. Tho bar will bo
stocked at all times with lino liquors and ciguis,
marll'TO-tf.
JgENTON HOTEL.
W. F. PIATT, Proprietor,
1IENTON, COLUMI1IA COUN1Y, PA.
This well known Houso liavinu been imt In
thorough repair lh now open lor the let-eptlou of
vimiuin. iu paiiiN iihvu ueen sptueu iu eiihiiru
the perfect comfort of fjiifMs, Tho proprietor
mso runs a mne irom iue Jioieiio junnnthmiry
nnd intermediate points on Tuesday, Thursday
Stoves and Tinware.
EW STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
ISAIAH IIAOENI1UCII,
Main Street ono door above E. MeudcnhaH's
Store.
A ltinro nsmirimtnt or stoves, iieatcis ana
ltnugttt, constantly ou hand, nnd for sale at llio
lowest rates.
Tinning In nil Us branches carefully attended to,
nml satisfaction guaranteed.
Tin work of till kinds wholesalo and retail, A
tul is requested.
pr.,0'J-tf
STOVES AND TINWARE.
A. M. HUI'EHT
announces to his friends and customers that ho
continues the above busluess at his old place on
MAIN BTltKET, BLOOM8BUIIO,
Customcis can be accomodated with
FANCY STOVES
of alt kinds, Stovepipes, Tluwuro and every vu
ncty of articlo found lu a Btovo and Tluwure lii
tablluhincut lu tho cltlcs.und on tho most reason.
nulo terms, llepal ring done at the shortest notice.
25 DOZEN MILK-FANS
on hand for sale.
"lOOTS AND ailOES.
CLAltK M. IlllOWN,
CKNT11U STKHET, AI1JOIN1NO THE t,T0J!E Of
UUUUIMi A KVtll.
A lull and romplcte assortment of ready made
boots und rhots for men, viomeu and children
lust iteelved and for sulout reusonublu lutes.
Varieties to suit ull classes of customers. Tho
best or v, ork done at shot t notice, as heretofore,
Ulv liltti ;lh1I. ri,,k,rn.ti-
AIlOAINS-DAltaAINS.
QUICK SAT.KS ANU 8MAI.U I'llOI'JTS.
SAVE YUUIl MONEY.
Go to
1IENHV YOST.
East llloomsbuig, i'u , lor ull kinds of the best
uuiuu uuu city iiiuuu
f uumiiuii r, .
I'rlces reasouublouud iho bist Mork done.
JiU'70-tf
nillEOSOI'IIV OF MARUIACIE.-
X A Nkw Couiisb or Lix-ruiits, us delivered at
the l'euua.l'ol) technic anil Auatumleul Museum
1'AjS Chestnut bt.. three doors ubove Twelllh.
l'hlladeliihiUfimbiuclug the subjects) How to
Live una Yt uui to i.no ior; vouiii, tiaturuy
una uia Aget .iiauuoou ueueruiiy iieviuneu
'1 liu cause of Indigestion! Flatulence and ucrv
mm Uikput.es uritiuiilLd ion Marrluee l'lillo.
karihieallv conklilirid. Tliese ItcUllt s will bo
foruunled on nu ll t of '.6 if tits by nililretslngi
fceeietary of tho lVniuj Ivunia l'oi,vrhfiimo
ANll ANATOMICAL Ml'SKUM, liU tllthlUUl DU,
i-iniuuejiuiu, r-eunsyiMiui.i,
Je:'l'7u-ly,
A lili KINDS OK
JOI I'lUNTINO
Ji. neatly executed at Tux Colvubian Steam
n. neatly exe
'rlulltig Olllce.
Philadelphia Directory.
JgAGLE HOTEL,
37 North Tnmi) Stheet,
It. D. CUMMINGS, riiorntmon.
7STA1JL,ISIIED 1793.
JOIIPAN ADltOTHEIl,
Wholesalo Grocers, aud Dealers In
SALTFETHE AND HIUMSTONE.
No 210 North Third St,
rhiladclphia,
it. iiortNn,s
W. 6. KI.NO. J. tl. SEYI1EIIT.
JJORNE, 1CINQ & SEYBERT,
WllUljllSAljlJ 1IUV ouoiia,
No. J21 Market Street
l'lIILADELl'HIA.
Orders filled promptly nt lowest prices.
January 3, 1S0J,
" W. HANK'S
NV'IIOLESALU TOBACCO, SNUF F, AND
CIGAlt VAllEHOUSE,
No. 110 North Third Street,
HctwceU Cherry nnd Haeo, west side.
I'hliadolphia.
JpilANK & STUETCII,
(Hiicccssors to I. ji. waiter,)
Importers and Dcalcis in
(tUEENSWAHE, CHINA, AND GLASS,
No. 211 N. Third Slrccl,
Between Haco aud Vino Sts.
rillLAIIKI.I'JIIA,
5 I'ilsT'ii'LTi ir, Gctt'1 Partners.
I. II. Waltkii. Siieclnl Partner.
J "Jt'70-tf.
T M. KEI'IlEAItT,
O WITH
DAHNES, BRO. & IIIiRItON,
HATH, CAl'S, STlt AW GOODS A FURS,
No. 603 Market Street,
(Abovo Fifth,)
1'IIII.AUEI.l'lIIA.
TOIIN STIIOIIP .v. fin..
o '
Successors to Slronp A liiollier,
WHOLESALE UEALEIIS IN Flfell.
No. 21 North Wharves nnd 2,1 Noilh Third St
1 hllndclphla.
JICIIARDSON li. WR1QHT, JR.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
NO. 12S SOUTH SIXTH STltEET,
I'llur.ADKl.i'iii .
ocl. 2J,'f-ly
WITH
THOMAS 0 A It S O N A , C .
WHOLESALE
DEALERS IN HOSIERY,
MEN'S FUItNlSIUNO GOODS,
LINENS A NOTIONS
NO. 18 NOUTlt FOUIITH STREET
l'liilaUolphin.
Juno VCO-Cm
"yAINWRIOHT & CO.,
W HULESALE. G HOCEHH,
N. E. Corner Second nnd Arch Streets,
I'HIEAriEEI'lIIA,
Dealeis lu
TEAS, SYllUI'S, COFFEE, SUGAIt, MOLASSES
nicE, ni'icrs, ni t'Aiiii botja, ac, ac.
3-0rdcrs will reoilvo prompt alleution
may 10,07-tr.
Business Cards.
jyj ir. l'veijLE,
ATTOHNEY AT LAW,
Ashland, Schuylkill County Ta.
0.
W. HIILLER,
ATT011NEY AT LAW,
Oflleo Court House 'Aller. below tho Colum-
liTAN on ce. Houulies. llnck-I'av and Tensions
collected. idooinsbuig Fa. sep.2U'li7
JOUERT E. CLARK,
ATTOKNEV AT LAW ,
Ollleo Main Street below iho Court Houso.
liioouisbutg I'enu'a.
E.
II. LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Oflleo Court-llouso Allev. below tho Colum
bian OfUce, lllooinsburg la.
c. I5-
I3KOCKWAY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
IlLOOMSIJUlta, 1A.
jbv OFrifi Court Houso Alley. In tho Co-
X.UMMAN building. IJanVfc7.
J? J. THORNS
JLJit would announc
ljuigand viclnlly.tha
IIOUNTON
nounco to the citizens of lllooms-
at bo has lust received a full
and complete assortment of
WALL I'Al'LU, WINDOW BIIADI,
PIXTUKKS, COl'.DM, TAKSEIJd,
and ill other goods in his line of business. All
the lu-utst nml most unmoved natterns of the
day iiiu iilwa) b lo bo found in hW t-KtablUhmeut.
QIIKSTKU H. FUHMAN,
JiAJtM., MAIUIIU;, IS iJ llLUlv
MANUrACTUUEIt,
and dealer In
CAIU'ET-llAOM, valihi:h, ELY-NETH,
llUri'AI.O KOIHH, 1I01:S111I.ANKKT8 tlO.,
which ho feels confident he can sell at lower
lato than any other person In tho county. Ex
amino for j tun selves.
tinop iniru uoor ueiow ino Louri iiouse, main
Hliett, llloomsbuig, l'a.
POWIIER KEGS AND LUMBER,
Uupert, l'a.,
Manufacturers of
roWDEll KEOH,
vud dealers lu ull binds of
EUMDElt,
Klvo notice that they are prepared to accomodat
heir custom with dispatch, and on the cheapen
g L A T E HOOFING,
i; V U Y VARIETY
A T
MOST FAVORAULE RATES,
JOHN THOMAS, AND CAHI'EK J, THOMAS
Ilox,277, llloomsburg, Pa.
Mur.l9,0l)-ly
jyjEROIIANDISE
JNUf'tCW 1H Ill.UlillY OJVEN
To my friends aud tho publlo generally, that al
kinds ol
DRY aOODS,
GROCERIES,
QUEENSWARE,
NOTIONS, AO.,
are cunstautly on hand aud lor sale
AT HAKTON'8 OLD STAND
llLOOMSDUlta, UY
JAMEa K. EY1
am Alto, Bole Aecnt foiELMa' ruosi-iiATB ov
MMK. LarBO lot coustantlyjon hand, ft 1 67,
P I M I L E S.
Tho uiidcrslBiie.l will cheerfully mnll (tan) to
all who wUli It the lteclpu aud full directions
or nrernrllit; and lislliu It silnnie and lleantlful
Veeelublo llulin. that will Immediately removu
Tun, Freckles, riinples, lllotehes, and all erup
tions and Impurities ollliobkln.lea viuf thesumo
soft, clear, tiuoolh uiul beautiful.
Ho will uUu send (l ltcK) Instructions for pro
dueinu.by verysl iiiplo meuns.a luicurlantKrowlli
tii jiiur on n uuiuucuu or biuooiu lucuiuiess iuuu
thirty dnvs Irom llrst uniilleutlou.
'Iho ubovu eanboobtulued by return mall by
nuurcbsiuir. -j nun, r. umi-diAiii t iieuust.
I', ii. Ilox 611, 1W 1) roadway, New Yokr,
Aug, 0,'Ul-ly,
BLOOMSBTJEG, PA., FRIDAY, OCTOBER 7,
Only a Word.
A frivolous word, a uhorp rotort,
A pnrlliiK in angry baste.
The sun that rose on a bower of blls").
The loving look: and tho tender kisi,
una rci on a barren waste,
Where pilgrims tread with m eary feet
latlis destined never more to meet. f
A frivolous word, ft sharp retort,
A moment that biotn out years,
Two lives aro wrecked on o-Htormy nhoro,
Wuoro billows of passion sureo nnd roar
To break In a spray of tenrs :
Tears shed to blind the severed pair
Drifting seaward and drowning there.
A frivolous word, a sharp retort,
a nasii from a passing cloud.
Two hearts are scathed to their utmo-it core,
Are ashes aud dust for evermore.
Two faces turn to the crowd.
Masked by prldo with a life-long He,
To hide tho scars of that agony,
A frivolous word, a sharp retort,
An arrow at random snod.
(It has cut In twain tho mystic tlo
That bad bound two souls In harmony,
Hweet lovo lies bleeding or dead.
A poisoned shaft with scarce an aim,
Has douo a mischief sad as shame.
A frivolous word, a sharp retort,
Alas I for tho loves und lives
Bo little a cau so has rent apart ;
Tearing tho fondest heart from heart
iVs a whirlwind rends and i :vcs.
Never to reunite n:;nlti,
I tut llvo and dlo lu secret p.Uu.
A frivolous word, a sharp reloi t,
Alas 1 that It should bo so I
The petulant speech, tho careless tongue,
Jiftvo wrought more evil, and dopo more wrong
Have brought to tho world more woo
Than all tho armies ago lo ago
Records on Imt'ry's blood-stained page.
All the Year Jlountt,
Imperishable.
Thopurc, tho blight, tho beautiful,
That stirred our hearts In youth,
Tho lmpulso to a worldly prayer,
Tho dreams of lovo and truth ;
Tho longing after something lost,
The spirit's yearning cry;
Tho striving after beUer hopes
Thet,o things cau novcr dlo.
Tho timid hand stretched forlh lo aid
A brother lu his need.
Tho kindly wotd In grief's dark hour
That proves a friend Indeed;
Tho plea for mercy softly breathod
Whenjustlco threatens nigh;
Tho sorrow of a contrite heart
These things shall never die.
The memory of a clasping Innd,
Tho pressure of a kiss,
And all tho trlllos sweet and frail
That mako up love's llrst blUs;
With a firm unchanging t.iith,
Aud holy trust and high,
Those hands have clasped, thoso lips havoiuel;
These things shall never dlo. "
Tho cruel and tho bitter word
That wounded as It fell,
Tho chilling want of sympathy
Wo feel but never tell;
Tho hard repulse that chills the heart,
Whose hopes are bounding high,
In au unfading record kept
Theso things shall never dlo.
Let nothing pass, for every hand
Must find bomo work to do;
Lose not a chauco to waken love,
Be firm and Just and true.
So shall a light that cannot lado
Ream on thee from on high,
And angel voices say to thee,
These things shall never die.
Sunset.
BY MATTIE W1UVEI1.
Ditamlly stand I watchlutr
Tho glow lu the western skies ;
Tho' tho breezes softly woo me,
Yet tho tears are in ray eyes,
Perhaps 'tis tho ml&t that blinds me,
l'or tho sunset secnis tot to fair ;
The scene not liulf so lovely,
Nor to $ olt aud sweet the air,
As when. In tho faraway past,
I have stood in the suustt's ulow,
And watched the crimson glory
Ilreak over tho fields ol snow
Ah, yes, 'tis tho mist of tears,
That makes tho picture less f.tlr
I miss a bright form from my side,
And n glory of golden hair.
And far in tlio west I see,
A fair faco all shrouded In wno;
Ah 1 tho sunset was never thus shadowed,
In tho beautiful Long Ago.
Then my eyes shrink away from tho suullght,
And I close them, to shut in tho tears ;
lint they cannot shut out tho walliugw,
That como tip the ulslo of dead years.
Tho summer winds bring loved voices
On tlielrwlngs; n broken prayer
A sobbing I open my eyelids
A glimmer of golden hair;
And ever thus In tho sunset,
When I stand lu tho fading glow.
It bring mo weary plclmcs
Of that bright aisle, long ago;
How tho brightness waned and faded
That clustered around mo of yoro;
All mo, 'tl? "death In liro" to think
Of tho days that are no more.
Modesty in n woman la HUo color on
her check tlccldodly becoming, 1 not
put on.
Why tiro n shoemaker's plans always
frustrated? Rceauso his attempts nl
ways end In de feet.
A little Iowa hoy memorized 1,100
Blblo verses, but tiled with brain fovor
before ho could uso them.
AfiUESTota hotel In Leavenworth
alo over it dozen cars of corn at ono
meal tho day beforo his funeral.
A gentleman In Roston lately com
mlttod sulcldo becauso his garden was
devastated by his son's chickens.
A ritisoNEit In Jail at York, l'a., has
been confined over nlno years for refus
lug to answer a question In court.
Funehals and weddings aro regard
cd in this country as special vehicles of
family vanity, prluo and ostentation.
a Javanese potentate, twenty-eight
years old, has a promising family of
thlrty-threo sons and forty-eight daugh
tcrs.
A youno fellow fond of talking, rc
marked, "I nm no prophet." "Truo,1
ropllcd tv lady, "no profit to yourself,
or uny ono elso."
A young man rocontly married in
Boloir, Wis., helped his wife, while
courting, to sew together rags cnougl
to mako CO yards of carpet.
A tuaitoroub woman iwows tho bo
Her that if all tho men wcro in ono
country and nil tho women In another,
with a big river between them, lots' of
poor women would bo drowned,
"You don't do work enough to earn
your 6alary," said tlio head of a depart
ment in tho Now York Custom Houso,
to ono of Ids clerkB. "Work 1" exclaim
ed tho young man, "I worked to get
hero; you &urcly don't expect mo to
work tiny longer."
'SfVl Il!l"rt1tl1lrtillf!
(! VU;KltUllllUll.J.
AWKWARD PREDICAMENT.
AVo clip tho following from tho Now
York Dally News, It Is too good to bo
lost:
A few cvcnliics felnce, n party of
friends met nt n &oc!al gathering nt n
fashlonnblo restaurant. Somo wcro
bachelors, and somo wero in tho enjoy
ment of 'Heaven's best gift on earth to
man I' Tho ovenlng was cold nnd chilly
and most of them woro overcoats. Two
of theso wcro nearly alike, nnd wcro
owned respectively by Charley G
and Cliarloy S , ono of thorn mar
ried, and tho latter singlo a wild, rak
ish sort of fellow, who as fast ns ho was
out of ono scrapo was In another. Ills
pockets were always full of rose-colored
(missives and delicato love tokens. IIU
heart was dcsolato out of tlio sunny
glances of womankind ; yet his ndven
turcs had never permitted tho matri
monial noose to curl nround It. Ills
friend Charley G is a sober, married
man, cherishing n bnglit-oyed but je.al
otis-heartcd littlo wlfo, who loves him
tenderly. Ho had found it difficult to
obtain permission to attend tho supper
t all.
It was given at last, with tho under
tainting that ho would como homo
cnrly. Ho didn't, however, but sat
lato; so very into indeed, that ho slept
soundly tho next morning until tho
sun was far advanced toward tho zenith,
He had met with a misfortune, too,
having stumbled on his way homo and
oiled in tho muddy street. His wife,
however, set about repairing tho mis
hap tho next morning by cleansing his
muddy coat. Whilo engaged In this
occupation, her hand, by tho merest
elmnco In tho world, strayed into ono
of tho sido pockets of tho coat, and on
countering a neatly folded billet-doux
superscribed simply to Charley, read :
"Do not go lo that horrid supper.
lovo, but como to mo instead. I nm so
lonely. Your devoted Knto."
Oh, my! but tho littlo hluo eyes flash
cd tho color camo and wont on check
mil forehead when she read tho linos.
There was 11 moment's pause, as If to
still tho deep intensity of passion, and
then Mr. u was rudely shaken from
his rest.
What is tho meaning of this, sir?"
and tlio littlo white hands trembled
with passion as tho ofieuding paper was
ield up beforo tho culprit.
"I don't know I who brought it ?"
"Who brought it, sir? I found it in
your coat pocket, Mr. G ; I want a
divorce, tool"
Mr. G was fully aroused by
this time. Ho protested ho knew noth
itig of tho note ; lto did not know how
tho treacherous littlo thing camo into
his pocket. Ho appealed to his witb's
good sense. Sho would hear of no de
nial, but, instead, mado nnother dive
into tlio coat pocket. Another littlo
missivo rewarded her search. It was
brimful of tho tenderest endearments,
and tinted only two days back, but was
in another handwriting, very beautiful,
and signed 'Jonnle."
"Oh, you Turk 1 Just look.at that I"
and whllo Charley's bewildered oyes
wero perusing tho letter, another visit
was made to tlio rcceptaclo of love
another letter camo out. It was equally
delicate, but full of upbraiding. It
called Charley cruel, false, deceitful;
said that 'Fauny'a' broken heart was to
belaid at his door, and his onco loved
darling would dlo early.
Tlio lips wero white now with rage,
tho blue eyes nil atlaiuo with fire, tho
littlo willowy form drawn up to its full
est height. Charley noversaw her look
ing so indignant.
"You rake monster I Why, Brig-
ham Young would bo ashamed to do as
you havo done."
Another divo was mado for tho pock
et, and letter after letter was brought
out, until a dozen strewed tlio floor
all of them from different ladles, all
evincing tho tonderest lovo for Charley.
Uniihlo to eopo with tho storm of in
dignation, ho madonha&ty exit from
tho room, and leaving tho house, left
his wlfo to medilnlo upon n divorco or
sulcldo at k'lMiro. A few moments
nfter, however, n servant of Cliarloy
S appeared with. Mr. G 's over
coat, nnd respectfully solicited tho ro
turn of his master's.
Tho reader is left to Iriiagino tho rest.
How Sea Witter Came lo ho
.Saline.
Tho bea is supposed to havo ncquired
Its sallno principlo when tho globo was
in tho act of subsiding from a gaseous
state. Tho density of sea water depends
upon tho quantity of salluo matter it
contains. Tlio proportion is genorally
about threo or four per cent., though it
varies in dliTorent places ; tho ocean
contains moro salt In tho southern than
In llio northern hemisphere, tho Atlan
tio moro than tho Pacific. Tho greatest
proportion of salt In tho Pacillo is in
parallels of 225 N. L,, and IS" S. L.,
near tho equator It Is less, niuMii tho
Polar seas it is least, from tlio melting
of tlio ico. Tlio saltncss varies with tho
seasons In theso regions, and tho fresh
water being lighter is uppermost. Rain
makes tho surfaco of tho sea fresher
than tho interior parts, ami tho influx
of rivers renders tlio ocean less saltnt
their estuaries. Tho Atlantic i3 brack
ish 300 miles from tho mouth of tho
Amazon. Deep seas nro moro salino
than thoso that nro shallow, nnd inland
sens communicating with tho main nro
loss salt, from tho rivers that How into
them; to this, however, tho Mediter
ranean Is nn exception occasioned by
tho great evaporation nnd Influx of salt
currents from tho Black Sea and tho
Atlantic. Tho water in tho Straits of
Gibraltar, nt tho depth of C70 fathoms,
Is four times ns salt ns that nt tho sur
face. Ercsh water freezes nt tho tenv
peraturo of illl0 of Fahrenheit, tho point
of congelation of salt water is much
lower, Tho lienlthfulncss of tho sea is
nscrlbed to tho mixing of tho water by
tides nnd currents, which prevents tho
accumulation of putrescent matter.
1870.
Dcutli of st Lady nml Smitten Al-
iiesii'iiiw.'C nflicr 1'acc In
n Window muss.
Slnco tho fall of tho 1'cmberton Mills,
tho city of Lawrcnco has known no
Biieli excitement ns that produced on
Saturday, tho 20th tilt., by tho uuac-
countnblo appcaranco of u female's fea
tures, in n light of glass In tho window
of a houso on Broadway. It appears
that n few days provlotis to tho discov
ery of tho phenomenon an elderly lady
nftern longand weary s!cknej,had died.
Tho day succeeding that on which tho
funeral occurred n lady who was visit
ing ono of tho tenants of thosamo houso
in passing saw a figure in tlio attic win
dow, which sho Instantly rocjgnlzid ns
that of tho deceased lady, nnd with
groat consternation comniunicat6d tho
fact to tho other occupants of tho build
ing, and in a short tinio tho neighbor
hood was mado acquainted with tho
strango and exciting discovery. Tho
window of tho room in which tho wo
man had died was Immediately under
that or tho attic, and w.s itsu.dly the
sitting placo of tho deceased. Somo
supposed that by somo means her face
had becomo Impressed upon tho glass;
but tho fact that It was not in tho room
occupied by her, and In a room that
was usually unoccupied, displa
ces all belief in tills Idea. Du
ring tho day nnd evening tho story
of a ghost on Broadway was widely
circulated throughout tho city, and ear
ly tho next morning, which was tho
Sabbath, peoplo commenced to gather
about tho III fated and haunted houso,
much to the annoynnco of Its inmates
and immcdiato neighbors. Nono pro
fessed to belle vo a word of tlio wlldsto'
ry, and wcro convinced upon tin actual
viow with their own eyes. A sister of
tho deceased, hearing of the matter,
visited tho place, anil pronounced tho
likenesi to bo that of her relative. Tho
only remaining members of llio family
aro two small children. Tho excitement
momentarily increased, as also did tho
crowd in tlio street, nnd by noon it was
so great as to render tho pass.igo of tho
horso cars quitq dlfllcult. Tiio inmatos
tried various means to romovo tho fig
urofrom tho glass, but wcro unsuccess
ful, and, with a view to sending tlio
crowds away, removed tho sash to tho
rear of tho building; but as a means of
scattering tho peoplo it was only sue
cessful in drawing them away from iho
front of tlio building to tho roar, whero
tho faco wos seen to a still better ad van.
tago, though it seemed to havo a some
what different appearance. It was only
when tho sash had been removed and
secreted in tho houso that tho crowd be
gan to disperse and wander back to their
homes, each having an idea as to tho
cause of tho singular vision, and all
agreeing that "there was something in
it, anyway."
Early on Monday morning another
crowd gathered around tho house, and
Dr. Wm. D. Lamb, a prominent physi
cian, obtained permission torcmovo tho
sash to hU oflleo on Essex street. Here
it was placed In his window opening
upon tho main business street in tho
city, aud every ono could got a lino viow
from below. Tho window was exam
ined by scientific and Intelligent men,
and whllosomo wcroof tho opinion that
it might bo tho result of tho lightning,
when somo person had been sitting
near, others thought this theory ono 01
i mpossibility. Of course tho many su
perstitious wcro satisilcd that It was tho
"ghost of the dear woman and nothing
moro." Thcro is ono thing about it at
least, that seems strange, and that is
tlio fact that no faco or figure is to bo seen
in looking from thoinsldo, Dtiringtho
day a firm of photographers, nfter sov
oral attempts, succeeded In getting n
very good likeness of tho sash and tho
faco it contained.
No 0110 can account for this strango
phenomenon, but men who arc practi
cal and possessed of a good sharo of com
mon sense, conclude that it must bo ono
of theso curious defects that will some
times appear in window glass. Tho
strangest thing in its connection is that
it was not discovered until after tho
death of tin Inmalo of tho houso. Thoso
who beliovo in tlio "spiritual" aro ma
king tho most of tlio circumstance, nnd
doubtless thero seldom occur such in
stances upon which they can so surely
reach tho partially superstitious mind.
Ghost or not, thero has nothing occur
red in tho city of Lawrenco of tills na
turo that has produced such wonder
ment slnco tho woll-rcmcmbcrcd sto
ries of various apparitions In connection
with tho fall of tho l'emborton Mills.
The largest kitchen in tho world is
ihat of IhoLIeblg Beef Extract Compa
ny in Uruguay. It covers 20,000 square
feet of ground, and Is divided into a
number of compartments, which nro
nil constructed with n view to their po
cullar uses, You enter first n largo,
dark, cool hall, with paved floor,whero
tho meat Is weighed and convoyed
through tho openings In tho wall to tho
cutting machines. Theso nro four In
number, nnd can cut up 200 young oxen
in nn hour. From tho cutting-machines
tho meat goos Into twolvo Iron receiv
ers, whero It Is pressed by steam power
of 73 pounds to tho square inch, Theso
twclvo receivers tiro capable of contain
ing 12,000 pounds of moat oach. From
theso tho moat, or rather tho liquid
now, runs through pipes Into recepta
cles constructed for tho purposo of sep
arating tho fattylsubstnuco from tho ex
tract and to clear it. Lastly, it Is raised
by steam olr-pumps Into largo coolers,
filtered, and subsequently packed for
transportation. Tho butcher of tho
Company is tl sclcntlflo executioner,
who can with easo and grnco kill 80 ox
en In nn hour by skillfully separating
tho vertebno.
An old toper mistook n pitcher of
Vitriol for cider lust week, at tho rail
road depot in Scranton, Penn., aud
emptied it before tiio station master
could stop him, Only for tho prompt
ness of tt physician In administering nn
emotlo tho consequences would havo
been fatal.
Miss Eijink Howaud's idea of tem
perance is that mon had better get
drunk at onco on "straight whiskey"
than wasto all day in doing it 011 beer.
COL. DEM. - - VOL. XXXIV - NO. 33.
How DrcniiiH nro Caused,
In order to provo that almost nny
dream can, with tolornblo cortalnty, bo
oxcltcd by special classes of stimulants.
Mr. Maury caused n series of experi
ments to bo performed on himself when
asleep, which nflorded very satisfactory
results.
First experiment Ho caused himself
to bo tickled with a feather on tho Hps
and insldo tho nostrils. Ho dreamed
that ho was subjected to a horrlblo pun
ishment. A mask of pitch was applied
to his faco and then torn roughly off,
taking with It tho skin of Ids lips, noso
and face.
Second experiment A pair of tweez
ers was held at a littlo distnnco from his
ear, and struck with a pair of scissors.
Ho dreamed that ho heard tho ringing
of bells. This was soon converted Into
tho tocsin, nnd this suggested tho dajs
of June, 1819.
Third oxperiraent A bottlo of cau do
Cologne was held to his noso. Ho
dreamed that ho was in a perfumer's
shop. This excited visions of tho east,
and ho dreamed that ho was in Cairo,
in the shop of Jean Mario Farina.
Many surprising adventures occurred
to him there, tho details of which wero
forgotten.
Fourth experiment A burning lucl
for match was held close to his nostrils.
Ho dreamed that ho was at sea (tho
wind was blowing in through the win
dows), nnd that tho magazlno in tlio
vessel blow up.
Fifth experiment Ho was slightly
pinched on tho napo of tho neck. Ho
dreamed that a blister was applied.
And this recalled tho recollection of n
physician that had treated him in his
infancy.
Sixth experiment A pieco of red hot
iron was held close enough to him to
communicate a slight sensation of heat.
Ho dreamed that robbers had got into
tho house, anil wcro forcing tlio inmates
by putting their feot to tho flro, to re
veal where tho monoy wa3. Tho idea
of tlio robber suggostod that of Mmo.
d'Abrantes, who, ho supposed, had
taken him for her secretary, and in
whoso memoirs ho had read somo ac
counts of bandits.
Suvonth experiment The word intra-
fagaramua was pronounced in his ear.
Ho understood nothing, and awoke
witli tho recollection of a very vaguo
dream. Tho word maman was next
used many times. Ho dreamed of dif
ferent subjects, but heard a sound liko
tho humming of bees. Several days
after, tho experiment was repeated
with tho words .dzo)', Castor, Leonore.
On awakening, ho recollected that ho
had heard tho last two words, and had
attributed them to ono of tho persons
who had conversed with him in his
dream.
Eighth experiment A drop of water
was allowed to fall on his forehead. Ho
dreamed that ho was In Italy, that ho
was very warm, aud that he was drink
ing the wino of Orvieto.
Ninth experiment A Hght.surround
ed by a piece of red paper, was repeat
edly placed beforo his eyes. Ho dream
ed of n tempest and lightning, which
suggested tho remembranco of a storm
ho had encountered in tho English
channel in going from Merlalx to
Havre.
Theso observations nro very instruct
ivo, inasmuch as they show conclusive
ly that 0110 very important class of tiur
dre.ims is duo to our bodily sensation.
Once a Week.
The other day, says tho New Orleans
Picx.yune, a very pretty bluo eyed co-quottlsh-Iooking
creature mado her ap
pearance at tho oflleo of tho Chief of Po
lico nnd demanded nn intorviow.
"In what can I oblige you, madam ?"
inquired tlio polito official.
"Aro you tho Chief, sir?"
"I havo that honor."
"Are you a married man ?"
Now, tills is a question which modest
bachelors find it dlfllcult to reply to,
without blushing. Nevertheless, tho
officer bravely answered in tho nega
tive "I am fcorry for tills," continued tho
lady, "for I desire to consult you on a
dcliento subject."
Tho Chief balanced himself, first on
0110 foot, and then on tho other, looking
furtively tlio while at his visitor, and
finally Inquired:
"How delicato?"
"Why, sir, my child has been stolen
by Its degraded father, whoso nbtiso of
mo has compelled mo to seek other pro
tection. Unless you have been a mother
you cannot understand my grief."
Didn't "Bless" the Whiskey, A
Kentucky lawyer on n circuit was ask
ed to dino with tho Judge. At table,
tho Judge, ns was his custom, nskod a
blosslng, and shortly after took from
tho sideboard a bottlo of old Bourbon,
of which ho asked his friend to partake,
partaking freely himself, ns Is nlso his
custom. After dinner tho lawyer said
"Judge, will you permit mo to ask
you u question ?" .
"O, certainly," replied the Judgo;
"what Is It?"
"I observed," replied tho lawyer,
"that after you had asked a blessing,
you set on tho bottlo. Now 1 wish to
H3k. whether you are ashamed to ask a
blessing on tlio liquor, or whether you
thought it good enough without It?"
Tho Judgo took tho easo uutler adviso
incut. Chillicothe, Ohio, has an ordl
nauco closing oven apothecaries' shops
on Sunday, so that tho inhabitants must
either bo taken sick early on Saturday
night, or put off their Illness till Mon
day morning, which is exceedingly in
convenient for thoso who hivo much
business to nttend to 011 week days.
I hold it to bo 11 duty to bo llboral
and generous oven to tho Illiberal and
narrow minded. And it 6ecms to bo a
pitiful thing for u man to aspire to bo
truo, nnd speak tho truth, and then to
complain In astonishment that truth
has not crowns to give, but thorns.
Rev. F. II". Robertson,
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additional line,
Questions Answerer! liy Scltvcc.
Why U rain wator soft ? Bocausu it
Is not impregnated with earth nnd min
erals. Why Is it moro easy to wash with soft
water than hard? Becauso soft water
unitos freely with soap, nnd dissolves
It Instead of decomposing it, ns hard
water does.
Why do wood ashes mako hard water
soft? 1st. Becauso tho carbonic acid of
wood ashes combines with tho nulphato
of llmo In tho hard water nnd converts
it into chalk. 2d. Wood asl 10s con vorts
somo of tho solublo salts of water into
insoluble, and throws them down as tt
sediment, by which tho water remains
moro pure.
Why has rain water such nn unpleas
nnt smell when It is collected In it rAlu
tub or tank? Becauso it is impregnated
with decomposed organic matters.
Why docs water molt salt ? Because
tho very mltiuto particles of water In
sinuate themselves Into tho pores of tho
salt by capillary attraction and forco
tho crystals apart from each other.
How does blowing hot foods mako
them cool ? It causes tho air which lias
been heated by tho food lo change rap
idly, and givo placo to fresh, cool nlr.
Why do ladles f.m themselves in hot
weather? That tho fresh particles of
ttir may bo brought in contact with
their faco by tho action of tho fan, and
its every fresh particle of air absorbs
somo heat from tho skin, this constant
change makes them cool.
D'jes a fan cool tlio air? No; it makes
llio air hotter by imparting to it tho
heat of our faco, but cools our faces by
transferring its heat to tho air.
How Monkeys ame Cauuht. Tho
following plan to catch monkeys boats
tho old trick of pelting tlio samo ani
mals with stones to mako them pick up
cocoa nuts:
Monkeys tiro such cunning croaturc3
that 0110 woul supposo thorn much more
dlfllcult to catch than other animals.
Pitfalls will take a lion, and tho fam
ished monarch of tho forest will after a
few days starvation, dart into tlio cago
containing food, and thus bo secured.
But how aro tho monkeys caught? Tho
npo family resemblo man. Their vices
nro human. They lovo liquor and fall.
In Darfour Scnnarr, tho natives mako
fermented beer of which tho monkeys
aro passionately fond. Awnro of this
tho natives go to tho parts of tho forest
frequented by tho monkeys, and set on
tho ground calabashes full of tho enti
cing liquor. As soon as monkey
sees and tastes it, ho utters loud cries of
Joy that soon attract his comrades.
Then an orgio begins, and in a Bhort
timo tho beasts show all degrees of in
toxication. Then tho negroes come.
Tho drinkers aro too far gono to mis
trust them but apparently tako them
for a Inrgo species of their own genus.
Tiio negroes tnko somo up, and theso
immcdiatelybegin to weep nnd cover
them with maudlin kisses. When a
negro takes one by tho hand and leads
him off, tho nearest monkey will cling
to tho ono who thus finds a support.and
endeavors to go off also. Another will
grasp him, and so on, till tho negroes
lead a staggering lino of ten or n dozen
tipsy monkeys. When finally brought
10 t ho village they aro securely caged
and gradually sober down, but for two
or three days a gradually diminishing
supply of liquor is given them, 60 ns to
reconcile them by degrees to their cap
tivity. A younci lady read in a paper that
if two young ladies would each take
tlie polo of it galvanic battery in onu
hand, and then complctoio circuit by
kUblng, tho sensation upon the lips ws-s
exactly that of tho prtfcsuro of a mus
tnche. Sho immediately communica
ted tho factjfo a number of friends: n
battery was. secured, and tho experi
ment tried, and found to work lo n
charm. A largo number of pocket bat
teries have been oideicd, fo that hero
nftcr when Indies meet and kiss, as is
their custom, they can iliut their tyes
nnd hilly enjoy tho satisfaction of feel
ing a gentleman's lips pressed to theirs.
Judcie K , of North Carolina, Is
a great stickler for forms. Ono day n
soldier, who had been battered consid
erably In tho war, was brought in as a
witness. Tho Judgo told him to hold
tip ills right hand.
"Can'tdoit,slr,"sald tho man.
"Why not?"
"Got a shot in that mm, sir,"
"Then hold up your left."
Tho man fcuid that ho had got shot In
that arm too.
"Then," said tlio Judge, sternly, "you
must hold up your leg. No man ever
can bo sworn, sir, in this court, by law,
unless ho holds up something."
A speaker at a juvenilo picnic is said
to havo delivered an address of which
tho following is a Fnmplo: "You ought
to bo very kind to your littlo sisters. I
onco knew n bad boy who struck his
sister a blow over tho eye. Although
sho didn't fado nnd dlo In tlio summer
time, when tlio Juno roses were blow
ing, with sweet words of kindness on
her pallid lips, sho rose tip nnd lilt him
over the head with a rolling pin, to
that ho couldn't go to school for over n
month, on account of not being able to
put 011 his hat."
"Weke you in tho fight?" said an
officer to an elderly negro on a steamer
after taking a fort. "Had n littlo tasto
of it Etih." "Stocd your ground, did
you ?" "No snh, I runs." "Run nt tho
flrsl fire, eh?" "Yes fah ; would hnb
run 60oncrlf I'd known it was com
In'." "Why, that Is not very cretlita
blo to your courage." "Dat isn't my
lino sah eooklu's my profcfsion,"
"Well, but havo you no regard for your
reputation?" "Reputation's nuthiu'
sido of life." "Do you couslder your
llfo worth moro than other peoples'?"
"It's worth moro to me, snh I"
A i'ooh cnmcltited Irishman having
called n physician in ids extremity, tho
physician fprend a huge mustard plas
ter nml nppllctl it to tho poor fellow,
"Docther, dear," said Pat, "It ttrlkcs
mo it is a dale of mustard for to little
nmto."