Newspaper Page Text
BUSHED EVEIVY FRIDAY MOHNINO
HCOLUMDJAN JlOILDINd HKAIl THE COURT
VO DOLLARS A YEAR,'
rAYABLE IN ADVANCE.
HATES OF ADVERTISING.
One square, (ten lines orits equivalent In Non.
parell type) ono of two Insertions, tl.Ml tare
BPAt-r, 1m. 2U. 8v. Cm. lr
One square 1160 13,00 11,00 10,00 110,00
Two squares -11,60 6.00 7,00 9,00 15,0
Threo squares o,00 7,00 ,00 12,00 is.vu
Four squarei 7 00 9,00 11,00 17,00 SS.tO
Quarter column.. 10,00 13,00 14,00 20,M 30,00
Half column....... 15,00 18,00 S00O 80,00 60,00
Onocolumn.....0,00 80,(10 10,00 00,00 100,00
Executor's or Administrator's Notice, J3.0O,
Auditor's orJAwilgnco's Nollco, 1140.
Local notices, twenty cent ft line; by tho yeai
Cards lntlio"i:uliicslJlrcclory" column, tl.CO
per year for tuo first two lines, and 11.00 for caih
ilecrlptlon executed with neatness nnd
dlspatclt nt reasonable rates.
VOLUME IV-NO 37.
BLOOMSBURGr, PA., FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1870.
COL. DEM. ---VOL. XXXIV NO. 30.
I. IttJPEtlT, dealer In stoves &tlnwari',llu
rt block, Main st, west of Market. vl-nl3
-Oil JIETZ, dealer In stoves and tlnwnro
sin Btteet, nbovo court hoURO. vl-n43
VII) LOWENDEna, MercliantTallor.Maln
,2(1 aoor auuvu AiucnatuiiDusp, Vl-m-l
munTR. Merchant Tailor corner nf On.
re and Main St., over Miller's store. 3-uM
DRUGS, CHEMICALS, Ac.
t.i Fry,, urnee HiHnuAnomecnrv. aiahi m,.
CLOCKS, WATCHES, AC.
havauu. uraier in uioc KB. watciies ana
BOOTS AND SHOES.
TttjnWW Tlntlt A ml (llinninnVop PuiilM
KAI, alt 11JJ1E.IV. nUllifUII HUH I Jl KIl'lUII.
U, tr, KiJNrii, surgeon uenu&i. Ttcin
1KELE11. Attnrncr-at-Lnw. Olllce. 2d
. BAItKLEY, Attorney-at-Law. pfllce, 2d
MCKKliVY.M. v.. Burgeon and ruysictnn,
IIUTTEH. M. I). Surccou and Physician
nrupi Kirppr. nnovn mum. vi.m.f
ltumsuiN, Auorucy-aw.uw, uiucBiiari-
t tvpi v i. T. A 'iiv fririiiu
DEHItlCICSON, Millinery and Fancy
. Tr. KLINE. Millinery und fuucv Good8'
nin kirbeL ueiuw juaraei. vi-ui
TITT.T A A A 1UKU1.1TV T.(i,flr.u
niiitB nmi urcsn I'niipni... koiiliipilkl (dirtier
auu travels. vi-uw
itiain ml., uvinw jinericLii iiuuhe. viii 11
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
.11 XT Tl T A TT fiT K T. l.v 71 St niinpr.
wain Bireei, vim"
Kill H A N AIJI1 I III II I K KN.
MATITT Trr nnni a ntirl TJn ntii cntilli.
.KEESIIOTjTx. lipftler In l.rv Clmxifi. nrn.
. BECKLEY. Hoot and Shoe store, lioolci
Etaiionerv. Main Rt.. hp out Mnritft. vi-iiLf
ALUun. i.nnrfiPiifiiipn'. irrncnriPH pin., ainin
8 A fill rl T lii.ihnK nTnAf n slnlii etvonl
niVQ Ti.'vn . t. i-v 1 i.. r
QIHTON. nrororffR ProvislonB. MRln
. EiHIt. Orocerlfu nmi General Merchnn-
Aiatn st above Weut. vlu
. MILLER PON. ilenler in Drv GooiIk.
UAiAiv. Ainrnie w oieb. mieuoor ueinw
U6L (iiiice. Aifiin mrLttL. vi.in.i
. I'lIllIMTM A IS UnMillo 'I'rtinli- . 1 1 n rn l.eo.
. TllnilWTnXI Wnll PnnAV U'lnrUnrUl.iKlnu
Lver'R Mnro Mnln nt.. vl.J t
M 1 iitruMfr . -- l .1 .
promptly niled, liebtgrteu wefeleru briutt
-vhb.hi, l WG4 111(11111110 lUUIUIl
Un ... . . . 1
-ajtK uiooui.uurKtUerwicK roau.vl-uitt
ttfWCK.Motary Public, norlhcokt corner
Tii" oeai.rin nimuure, irunK., ceder
b.i'.'11' BHOtMAKER. dealers I:
f.tgi aul iien.rul intrchandtsB.
A A 15. W. COEEMAN, Merchant Tallorsand
. Gent's furnishing goods. Main Ht,, next door
to tlio llrlck Hotel. vltil7
11. lir.llItINO 4 DnoTIIEn.Carpentersnnd
llulldcrs, Main St., below l'luc. vl-n!7
BOWEll A Itr.ltlllNU, dealer In Dry Goods,
Clroccrta, Lumber and general Mcrclinndlsp,
Main si. vl-nn
BltlClC HOTlir, nnd refreshment Saloon, by
Hohr Jl'IIeury cor,ofilalnnuuTluoRt.,vl-nt7
DIL O. A.MliaAIiaEL.l'hysiclan nndHurceon,
Main St., next door to Uood's Hotel. vl-iiu
a mil tr i-tt , vtn
Flour and Grist Mill, nud
U Dealer In grain, Mill Htrcet,
11. AC KELCHNElt, lllacksmlti'J, on Mill
Btrect, near l'lne. V1-UI7
T L.EDWAltDS. l'hyslclnn nnd Burgeon, Muln
1' bU, first doornbovoM'llcnry's Hotel. vl-n23
rA.ME.4Il. 11 AHMAN, Cabinet Maker and Un
I doitakcr. Main HI., below Pino. Vl-nl7
JM. HAUMAN, Paddle nnd Harness maker.
, Malust., oppslte Kinmo Cliurcli. V2nll
SC'HUYLKIt & LOW, Irou roanucrs, Machinists,
nud Manulactuicrs of plows, M 111 St. vl-ul
II, EH A. WILLIAMS iC'o,.'launcrsand Mnn-
uiacturcrs oricutner, Mill street. Vl-nl7
JAMUEE HHAUl'LliSS, Maker of thellaylnirst
3 uralu Cradle. Main St. v:in8.
flLLIAM DKLONG Hhocmakeratit manufac-
liner oi iincit,i)iiiiMt.,wesioirino vims
P. DALLMAN. Merchant Tailor. Second HI.
. Ilobblns' llullJltis. v2-n!8
H.J. K. UOIIIUNB, Hurgoou nud IMiyKlclan
GIL11EUT A KLINE, dry goods, giocerlcs, und
general merchandise, Main Street 2-nl2
11. KISTLElt, "Cnllawlsen House,
, Corner Main and Second Hlrectfc.
LKEILEIt, lllllnrd Saloon, Oystcis,
. L'leulll lu heabou MaluBt.
MM. imODST. dealer In aeueinlMcrclmilaibO
, Ury aoiuls. OrtVorieH tec. v2-nl3
SUKQUIMTANNA or llrlck Hotel, y. Kostc-u-IjHiulrr
l'ruprielor.Mn.th-cnst corner Main nmt
hccoutl K licet. Y'ZuVZ
Qi 1. HlNAItD.UtalcrlnHtovcsopa Tlnwnro.
WM. 11. AUIIOTT, Atlorncy nt law, Main 8t.
P. OMAN & Co., Wheelwrights, llrst door
nbovo School House. vlnlu
JOHN A. OMAN, Manufacturer nnd dealer In
Boots nud Shoes, vlnld
J. LEIHKIt, M. D., Surgeon nud Physician.
Olllcont Keller's HotcK vin'.l
FiTEIt KNT. dealer In Dry Goods Groceries,
Hour, Feed, Suit, llsh,Irou, Nails, etc., Mnln
RB. ENT, dealer
all Its branches.
lu Stoves and Tin wnre In
1'. liEIUHAltl), miO.,dealer In Dry Gomll,
Groceries, und gcutiul Merchandise, vilull
1,'SI'Y STEAM FLOUIUNG MILLS, C.S. Fowler,
Jj l'roprietor. v2nld
I D. WEliKHKlSEIt.IiootnmlKhooStorennd
munulactnry. Shop on Main Street op
posite the Steam Milt. v2ul
W. EDOAIl.KiiKiuchauua Planing Mill nnd
Box MttuuiHctoiy. v2nll
HE ESPY HOTEL.
ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
Tho undei&lgucd would Inform tho travelling
public that he has taken Iho above named estab
lishment and thoroughly rentled the same for
Ihe peilect eouveutcuco of hlsguests. Illslarder
will be stocked with tho best the market nirords.
Iho choicest liquors, wines and cigars always to
be louud lu his bur.
Apr.23.M-tf Espy, l'a.
0 HANG EVI LLU, COLUM1UA COUNT V, I'A.
KOIIK M'HENIIY, Proprietor.
This well known House, having been put In
thorough uimlr, is now open to tlio travelling
public. Tlio bar is htocketl with tho choicest
liquors anil cipurs, nmi the table will bo. at all
times. stmnlleil with tho ilelicarlcs nf the season.
Nopalus will be .spared to injure the comlortof
Oruugevllle, ilec. 1069-tf.
1X UUl'EUT, PA.
WILLIAM IlU'lLEH, Trorrletor,
This House Imviiitfbt en put in thnrotiKh repair
Is now open u,r tlio rut'ptlou or KUitts. No
fmlns will bo hpnutt to ensure tho v rfect com
ort of tho timclers. Tuo 1'ioprlitor solicits a
ttharo of public rftti-0110 Tli bar will be
bloclicil at nil Units with lino lluuora and cigars.
W. F. PIATT, Proprietor,
iii;nton, columiiia county, ia.
This well known Hoube lrnvlnc been nut In
thorough lepulr Is now open lor tlio reception of
VlhllOTb. iU (HlJllb J1UVU Ull'U fcllitltU U fllhUlU
the pL'iftct comfort of pu stb, Uho proprietor
aho runs u Stage from the Hotel to lllnnmbburg
ami iutcmuilLite points on Tuesday, Thursilay
anu haiuiuay 01 eutnwetK. imajt iu-ii
Stoves and Tinware.
TJEV STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
Main Btrect one door above E, Mciideuhall's
A largo assortment of Hloves, Heaters and
Ranges constantly onhaud,and for ialo at the
Tlnnluiilnall Its branches carefully attended to,
iml satisfaction guaranteed.
Tin worlt of all kinds wholesale and retail, A
lal Is lequesleu,
TOVE3 AND TINWABE.
A. M, ItUPERT
announces to his friends and customers that lie
continues the above business at his old place on
MAIN STREET, ULOOMSBURa,
Customers can bo accomodated with
of all Ulnda, Stovepipes, Tinware and every va.
1 icty of article foaud lu a Stove and Tlnwaro Es
tublhhmcnt lu theeltles,and on the most rcoton
able terms, Repalrlugdoueat the shortest notice,
S3 DOZHH MIUC-X'AKM
on hand for sale.
JOOTS AND SHOES.
ClMl.t ST1IKLT, AIUOlNINd THE tTOKE Olf
1(011U1H & KYEU.
A lull and complete assortment of ready inado
hoots und sho(iriir men. women aim children
lust rtcclt-d tiud lor sale at reasonable ratts.
Vurletlts to suit all chutes of customers. The
l.est or wvxti none ut snort noike, as heretofore,
II. O. HOWEll, DENTIST,
Respectfully offers his professional services to
the ladles auu gentlemen oi uioomsuurg auu Vl
rlMttv. Ho Is orenaied to attend to all the vari
ous operations in the Uneof his profession, aud
Is provided with the latest Improved i'oiicELAiN
TKEfil which will he Inserted on i:Id plating
silver aud runuer naso iu iook as wen asine uaf
r..l i.-t.th. 'I'tfath Hxtraftcd hv all the new auj
must approved methods, aud all operations on
the teeth catelullyand propeily attended to.
Residence aud oltlce a lew doors uliove the
Lourl House, same sme.
QUICK SAI fS AMI 8MAI1. 1'KOHTB.
HAVE VOUR WU.NEV.
East Bloomsbuig IV,, for ull kinds of the best
uuiuu uuu cuy iiiiiuo
1' U 11 N I T II It K .
I'rlces rcab(,uable uud I lie Ubt wctk done,
H3T Nonm Timii) Stiiket,
11, 1). CTJMMINGS, rnorniETon.
Wholcsalo Grocers, and Dealers In
BAI.TrETIlE AND BRIMSTONE.
No 219 North Third St.
C. II, llORNE. VT. B. KINO. 1, H. BKYDEIIT,
TTORNE, KING & SEYBERT,
WHOLESALE DUY GOODS.
No. 421 Market Street
Orders filled promptly at lowest prices.
January 3, lSGS,
JT W. RANK'S
Wholesale tobacco, bnuf f, and
No. 1 10 North Third Street,
Jlctweeu Cherry and ltticc, wcstbldo,
JjiRAXK & STRETCH,
(Successors to I. II. Waller,)
Importers and Dealers In
QUEENSWARE, CHINA, AND GLASS,
llctwcen llace and Vino SUi.
alilHTSrcn, ocn'l Partners.
1. 11. Walt Kit. Special Partner.
BARNES, 11RO. & IIERRON,
HATS, CAPS, STHAW GOODS & FUltS,
No. tttl Market Slieet,
JOHN BTROUP & CO.,
Successors to Stroup A Brother,
WHOLESALE DEALERS IN FISH.
No. 21 Norlh Wharves myl 23 Noilh Third St
RICHARDSON L. WRIGHT, JR.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
NO. 128 SOUTH SIXTH STREET,
THOMAS OAltSON i .0.
DEALERS IN HOSIERY,
MEN'S FURNISHING GOODS,
LINENS A NOTIONS
NO, IS NORTH FOURTH ETUEET
"YjTAIN WRIGHT & CO.,
N. E. Corner fiecoiyl nnd Arch Streets,
TEAS, BYItUPS, COFFEE, SUOAH, MOLASSES
nice, Bricis, in cAini soda, .ic, &c.
30rders will rec.ivo prompt attention,
jyj BI. L'VELLE,
ATTOllISljY AT LAW,
Ashland, Schuylkill County Pa.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Olllco Court IIonsG Allev. liflow tho Coi-UM
ian Otllce. llountlcs. Hiick-l'av ami rcnslons
collected. llloom&burg l'a. sep.'JU'07
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ompfi Mnln Stroot below tho Court House.
Al iUltriiiX AT iAVY,
Oiltce Court-HotiBO Alloy, below tho CoLUM
bian Olllce, llloomhburu l'a.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ir-Orrici: Court IIouso
Alley, In Iho Co.
17 J. THOKNTON
lJ. wr.nl. 1 iniiinuiifnln t lift rll !?.( lis of lllooniS-
burir nnd vlclnltv. that ho has Jutt received a full
uuu coiupiuio ubioruufui ui
WALL rAPIUt, WINDOW SHADEH,
FIXTUUKfi, (.OUDS, TAbSHLS,
nnd tlt other roods lu hlsJluoof buslutsf. All
lie neuebi uuu inohi uppjuu imunnih ui mo
lav niH aiuai s lo loiuuiui in inw i-muiiiimiiiu'iii
iuar,.i, u'j-n jiuiu nii I'l'Hiw iiiiufi..
QIIESTEU S. I'UKJIAN,
and dealer In
CAltrnT-BAGH, VAL1SCP, FLV-NKTS,
which ho feels confident ho enn sell nt lower
into inau uny oincr peuon in tuo county, ivx
ft int. in (Yir vinirfcplv.
miop iiuju ooor lie inw me lourt. xiuufci', iiiu
rireei, iiiuuiiikuuii;. m,
OWDEU KEOS AND LUMBEH
W. II. MONROE CO.,
nud dealers In all kinds of
give notice that they aro prepared to accomodat
heir custom with dispatch, nnd on the cheapen
QL A T E
U V li n 1 V A u
I E T T
MOST RA VOK All L E KATES,
JOHN THOMAS, AND CASI'ER J, THOMAS
Roz, 717. Bloomsburg, l'a.
rpiIE CIlEAl'EST PAPER IN THE
t&- a o q e n t s
THE WEEKLY PATRIOT
CONTAINING rOUTY.EinilT rOI.UMNH of
matter, l'olltlcal, I.lteiuiy, Adtlcultural.t'urreiit
News, .vc, Irom Iho First or September, 1810, un
til tho first oi January, 1871, lor Fllty Cents to
sluglo subscribers, 91 60 to clubs often, t&U) to
clubs oi iweniy. aim sw.euiocmos oi
dred (to uuu address), easli In advance.
and JW.dO lo clubs of one liuu
Editors and l'roorletors.Harilsburi;. l'a.
E K 0 II A N D I S E
NOTICE 18 HEUEDY GIVEN
To iny friends und the pnUlo generally, that al
QUE ENS WAKE,
pre consuiitly on liand and lor sale
AT HARTON'H OLD bTANIl
JAM1H K, EVER
do. Solo Agent forirLus' J'nosriiATie Of
li nr. Largo lot constantly ou Jianil, feUA uT-
I nm Monarch of all I survey,
My realm Is unlimited, val,
I nm tho king nnd Idol too
Of men of overy caste,
1 tyrranlzo o'er woman and man,
I bind them with Iron chains
Which pierces deeply Into tho quick,
And often leaves deeper stains.
I mako them slavo most mercilessly,
To maintain mo every hour;
They aro my dupes, nnd not one of them
Dares to think of staying my power.
They often groan beneath their load,
Hut what caro I for their palnf
They'll only work tho harder
And rivet tho stronger my chain.
I nm absolute Monarch of tho wholo world,
To mo all nobility yield,
1 have all lu my rcllnuo
Anil my sccptro freely I wield,
I tyrranlzo o'er each Trlnco of tho land,
Over rich and poor the samo,
And they tell mo" too, poor humble slaves,
That I am not to blame.
Docs even Jehovah tho Great
Hold such unlimited sway,
u. I UK'S Princes, Ministers, nil,
My lules strive to obey,
I havo conquered nil nmi they lovo mo too,
And will lovo ma till they die.
I am content, for I am suro
Nona wero over so great as I. t, i,.
HOW TO BEGIN.
A Story for Young Marrlod Folks.
All Grccnvillo knew Will Norton nnd
Kato Scillcy wero going to marry. In
deed, tho parties most Interested inado
no secret of tho matter. For mouthy,
lilies of snowy linen had boon steadily
growing beneath Kato's nimble Angers,
and as for Will, ho was equally busy
And, for n marvel, moat nconlo seem
ed satisfied, and agreed in saying what
a good match it was, and what a ilno
couplo they would make. Kato was so
neat and industrious; not strictly beau
tiful, but with that natural loveliness
that youth, health, and tv sweet and
cheerful temper givo to overy woman.
And ill was a steady, sensiblo young
man, with a stout heart nnd broad
shoulders, with which to push his way
in tlio world.
They both brought Into this mutual
partnership, together with tho wealth
of loving hearts nnd strong, helpful
hands, a little of worldly gear. Will's
consisted of a now nnd protty cottago
every stick of which was laid with his
own hands for ho was a carpenter
and every room constructed with an
eyo to tho comfort and convenience of
its expected mistress. Kato's dowry
consisted of n few hundred dollars, left
her by an uncle, and which was to bo
hers at tho ago of eighteen, or on tho
ovo of her marriage.
Kato thought tho best uso to put tho
money to would bo to furnish the house,
mid so go at once to housekeeping, and
Will agreed with her.
Then came tho all-important subject
of selections, for Kato had only a cer
tain amount, nnd was anxious to lay it
out to tho best advantage. Sho had
neither mother norslstor, but fortunate
ly, Aunt Sarah, n kind-hearted, sensi
ble woman, with no liltlo experience
in such mattors was on her annual
visit to her brother's house, and she de
termined to avail'herself of her counsel
Tho old lady had been but a few days
in tho house, but her sharp, kindly
eyes had been sufficiently observing ;
so sho was not at all surprised when her
neieo said, with n slight blush.
"I'm going to bo married next month
"So IJuilgcd, from tho nppcaranco of
thing-", my dear. And, unless my old
eyes deccivo me, you will havo a good
"Will is ono of tho best and kindest
of men," returned Kato, with a pleased
nnd happy smile. "I only wish ho was
siiro of as good n wife. You know the
money Undo Ell left mo? Will has
built n beautiful little cottago, and
think of furnishing It, so that then wo
can go directly to housekeeping. And
as I shall havo to buy a good many ar
ticles, I should llkoyour advico In ar
ranging and selecting them."
"I think your plan a very good ono
niece, and shall bo glad toglvo you any
asslstanco In my power. It will bo less
expenslvo than boarding, besides being
Tho next day Kato showed her aunt
over tho house, which had Just been
papered and blinded. Tho lower story
contnined four rooms parlor, sitting
room, kitchen and wnsh room and
abovo threo chambers.
They looked very pleasant and con
venlent, and Aunt Sarah duly admired
them, to Kato's great satisfaction.
I shall havo enough to furnish It
very nicely," tho said, "and shall tako
so much pleasuro in selecting and ar
You will havo enough to mako you
very comfortably, my dear." returned
Aunt Sarah, "but you must not count
ou upending n great deal for outsldo
"Oh, no aunt; I Intend to do with
things that aro plain nnd Inexpensive,
until wo can afford to havo better,
think wo will go to Brown's first.
saw soino nlco carpeting and curtains
there, that will bo such a nlco match
for tho parlor and paper, ami very roa-
sonablo they are, too."
An they wero walking along, Aunt
Sarah suggested that hofore purchasing
sho mako un Inventory of what she In
tended to get, together with tho prlco.
To this Kato agreed, though eIio wa.1
ijulto confident sho had ample means to
carry out tho plan sho had laid down.
So Kato began to select furniture
first for tho parlor, then the sitting
room, then tlio parlor chamber, Jotting
down tho prlco of each nrtlclo. They
then went homo to dinner.
Aunt Sarah had promised to mako
out n list of what kitchen furniture sho
would need, nnd niter dinner sho sat
down to redeem It. In tho meantime
Kato at her suggestion, began to add up
tho long row of figured that had been
tho rctiult of her morulnL,'a work. Hor
checks flushed as sho proceeded, nnd
tho result 8coined very unsatisfactory,
for sho wont over it twico.
Aunt Sarah not Iced hor perplexity.
"How much will you havo loft for
your kitchen furnlturo?"
"Threo dollars nnd fifty cents I"
Tho old lady smiled.
"You will havo enough to get n cou
plo of tin plates and half a dozen knives
"I don't understand it. I thought I
had quito enough to furnish my liouso
'.'And so you havo, my dear ; but in
your selection you havo had your 'oyo
more to show than to comfort. I con
cluded to let you havo your own way,
but I know vory well how it would ter
minate, for you did not begin at tlio
"I don't Know what you mean, aunt."
" Why, you should havo begun with
tho kitchen, nnd thin havo secured tho
things you must havo. Then, if there
Is anything left for tho parlor, it could
bo easily got."
Kato looked aghast nt tho list of nr
tlclcs handed her.
"Shall I need nil thoso tilings, nunl?"
"If you wish to do your work well
nnd economically, you cannot gctnlong
with less. Nover stint tho kitchen and
inako a show In tho parlor."
"I don't sco that I shall havo any
thing left for tho parlor." said Kato,
after n fow mlnuto's calculation of tho
figure before her j "tho kitchen sitting
room and chambers will tako tho entire
"And supposing it should remain un
furnished, nt least for tho present?
Thoso who como to sco you will not ob
ject to bo received in your sitting-room
nnd thoso who como to sco your furnl
turo aro not worth being received at
"But then it will look so odd ; so diff
erent from what other peoplo do. Mrs.
Weston has her parlor very nicely fur
nished." Mrs. Weston was an old school mato
who had married a few weeks before.
"Yes, and I happen to know how it
was paid for Mr. Weston mortgaged
his house ; I prcsumo your husband can
do tho samo."
Kato's natural good senso recoiled at
this suggestion. "I would rather novcr
havo any parlor," sho exclaimed.
"Perhaps wo can do with less sitting-
room furniture," sho suggested, as sho
rnn her eyo over tho list of articles.
"I supposo that tho sitting-room will
bo tho placo wheroyou will spend your
ovonlngs and most of yoursparo time?"
"Then tako tho advico of an old mar.
ricd woman, my dear, nnd mako tho
room in which your husband sponds his
ovening tho plcasantest room in tho
Kato followed Aunt Sarah's advico
and never has had reason to regret it.
Fivo years later, Mr. Weston's mort
gaged liouso was sold under tho hammer
and all his fino furnituro with it.
Kato lias now a very prettily furnish
ed parlor, nnd enjoys it nono tho less
that nono of Its adornments havo been
pnrchaaed at tho expenso of tho happi
ness of homo and tho comforts of life.
Tho Hoyx who want to be C'lcrUs.
Many of our youth aro mulcted with
tho infatuation that city clerkships aro
tho most ellgi bio positions, whllo tho
trades are not "respectable." Let them
learn that intelligent mechanics havo a
hotter chanco of securing wealth, oml
nonce, aud lnfluenco than tho over
crowded clerkships can afford. Tho
present and last Governor of Connecti
cut, each, iu his boyhood, learned n
trado, and thus becamo a thorough mas
ter of tho business in all its details, in
which each has achieved a brilliant suc
cess. Tho most extensive manuuciurer
of silverware In tho world, John Gor
ham, of Providence, declined tho posi
tion of clerk in tho counting-room, that
ho might master tho trado In his fath
er's shop as n regular apprentice, whore
ho learned thoroughly how to do with
hi hands all that ho has slnco had to
direct others In doing. A multltudo of
similar facts might ho cited to show
that tlio mastery of a trado Is ono of tho
best preparations for a practical life and
prosperity in business. Clerks aro of
ten paid less than skillful mechanics,
aud aro Iws independent. In their pro
carious positions they aro liablo to dis
appointments and humiliating strug
gles with tho thousands of others look
ing for a placo. Every advertisement
for a clerk brings n wholo swarm of
applicants. How pltlablo tho condition
of this superabundance of book-keep
ers and exchaiigeranvastlng their Uvea
in "waiting for a place," whllo our iac
torics, railroads and trades aro clamor
ing for educated superintendents, foro
men, engineers, skillful managers and
cunning workmen. Tho position of
tho educated nnd well trained mechanic
is far preferable to that of tho avorago
city clerk. Tho latter may dress bet
ter, talk moro glibly, bow moro gracO'
fully, not to say obsequiously, but they
comparo unfavorably with our best mr
chanlcs In manly Independence, vigor
of thought and strength of character
Too many of our young men leavo
tho homestead on adventures loss safe
and rcllublu than tho arts of industry.
A good trado Is moro honorablo and
remunerative than poddling maps,
books, pictures, patent rights and clothes
wringers, or In a city storo, to bo cash
or errand boy, storo sweeper, flro kind'
ler nnd counter-jumper generally,
Without In any way disparaging tho
useful position of tho clerk, our young
men may properly bo cautioned against
further crowding this already "plethor
lc profession." To boys ,ln tho coun
try, wo say, Instead of aspiring to an
uncertain and precarious clerkship
stick to tho farm, or learn a trade, and
you will hif the broadest foundation for
prosperity. Thoso who havo well Im
proved tho opportunities no v offered in
our free schools can veil alfbrd to tip
prcntlc themsclTes at slxleon years of
tig, supplomuitlnff their education by
OTunliig schools, or by swlf-trainlng in
their OTeniugtj aud liuro hours. (7.7
ftcrrttmtp, f Jhsrih antlJIome.
Couldn't Hpcll II.
A Yankee from tho Green Mountains,
visited tho city of London. Whllo
passing through ono of tho thorough
fares, his attention was arrested by
Bomo specimens of writing paper, ox
posed for salo at a shop window. See
ing tho proprietor of tho establishment
standing nt tho door, tho Yankco civil
ly inquired of him what ho did with
them nlco bits of paper?'
NWo keep them to tlo up gape teed
in," said tho cockney snappishly.
"Oh, yo du du yo?" said Jonathan.
Passing down tlio street a fow steps,
our indignant Yankco saw another
"I say, mister, can you tell mo what
that feller does for n llvin' what keeps
them cro nlco bits of paper at tho win-
"Yes, sir; ho is a small dealer in pa
per, and a sort of n scribe. Ho writes
letters for persons."
"I reckon ho Is n very imall dealer
and that ho Is it pharitce as well as a
scribe. Do you think ho will wriloa
lcttor for mo if I pay him for it?"
"Certainly ho will."
Tho Yankco thrust his hands into ills
pockets almost up to his elbows, and
'I say, mister, they say as how you
sell paper and wrlto letters for folks
what can't write. What will yo ax to
write n letter to my Bister Sally?"
"I shall charge you fivo shillings."
"Will yo write Just what I toll ye,
nnd spell tho words right as wo do in
"To bo surol will."
"Well, I guess you may wrlto to
Tho Londoner procured a pen, Ink
and paper, nnd tho Ynnkeo commenced
dictating after tho following style i
"Dear sister Sally."
"'Rived In London last week."
"Havo yo got thntdown ?"
"Yes go on."
"Thought Ido go Into tho country
aud tako a ride."
'Well, tho old maro baulked."
"Sho wouldn't go, so I licked her."
"Well, go on. ','
"Licked her licked her licked her."
"Well, go on."
"Licked her licked hor licked her
"What is tho uso of saying that so
"Nono of your business. I pay you
fivo shillings licked licked her lick
"This pago is full of licked hors."
"Turn over then; licked her, licked
her, licked her, licked her, licked her.
Sho wouldn't go then, so I got out and
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her."
"You aro not intending to Bay that as
many times as you said licked her."
"Nono of your business, I pay you ;
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her.
Sho wouldn't go then, so I sharpened
tho end of tho whip handle, nnd I
pricked hor, pricked her, prickod her,
"I cannot seo nny senso in nil this. '
"Never mind, I pay you ; licked her,
kicked her, pricked her, licked her,
kicked hor, pricked her, licked her,
kicked hor, pricked her. Sho wouldn't
go then, so I got out and I" (hero tho
Yankco made a chirruping noise with
his tongue and lips Nvlikh bids deflanco
'I cannot spell that."
"O, yo can't spell that, ha? Wal, yo
needn't write any moro for me.''
"Need not wrlto any moro."
"No more," said the Yankee.
"Not a word to close with?"
"Nary a word."
"You will pay mo for what I havo
"Not a rod. You did not wrlto down
nil I told you to."
"Well, sir, what nm I to do with all
this paper I havo spoiled ?"
"Keep it to tie up gapesced in,"
About Itlnri'jlng too Voting.
Mrs. Elizabctli Cady Stanton says:
Girls do not reach their maturity until
twenty-five, yet at blxleen thoy aro
wives a nd mothers ull over tho land,
robbed of all tho rights and freedom of
childhood in marriage, crippled in
growtli and development; tho vital for
ces needed to build up a vigorous und
healthy womanhood aro sapped and
perverted from their legitimate) chan
nels In tho premature oillco of repro
duction. When tho body is overtaxed,
tho mind loses Its tono and settles down
in a gloomy discontent thnt enfeebles
tho wholo moral being. Tho feeblo
mother brings forth feeblo sons, tlio sad
mother thoso with morbid appetites,
Tho constant demand of stimulants
among men is tho result of tho morbid
conditions of their mothers. Healthy,
happy, vigorous womanhood would do
moro for tho causo of temperanco than
any prohibitory or llcenso laws possibly
can. . When woman, by tho obscrvauco
of tho laws of llfoand health Is rostorod
to her normal condition, maternity will
not be a ieriod of weakness, but of ad
ded power. With that high prepara
tion of body and soul to which I havo
referred, men and women of sound
mind aud body, drawn together by true
sentiments of uffcctlon, might calculate
with certainty on a happy homo, with
healthy children gathering round their
fireside. To tills end let girlhood bo
sacredly devoted to education, to men
tal, moral and physical growtli, to as
high preparation for personal indepen
denco and ninbltlon ns boyhood Is to
day; remember that girls, as well ns
boys, wero created primarily for their
own enjoyment, and only secondarily
to fccrvo each other. Reproduction In
tho normal condition of woman will
not bo a period of suffering, but of Joy
nnd thnnksglving. Ono of tho saddest
features, of woman's present condition
is her idea that sho is cursed of heaven
in her motherhood; that It la one of lift'
turn's necettslticu that sho should suffer
through the period of maternity. It is
becauso v Ignorantly vlolato so many
lavs of our being that It is so to-day.
Puains Cauy's conundrum: Why
vns RoblnsoB Crusofc'n man Friday
liko a rooster? Because ho strntched for
himself and crow so (Oriinoo)l
Tlio IiiitcIininn'N IiiHiiraiice.
A Btory Is told of a German who had
taken tho precaution lo insuro tho ltfu
of his wlfo for f5,000, and his stablo for
tOOO, believing tho former might dlo
and tho latter bo burnt, nnd ho could
not get along without somu compensa
tion for tho loss. Both policies had been
taken from tho samo agent. In a few
months nftor the stablo had been insured
it was destroyed by flro. Mr. Shmldt
quietly notified tho agent, and hinted
to him that ho would expect tho $900 at
tho earliest posslblo moment. Tho
agent at onco sent a carpenter to ascer
tain tho cost of erecting a now stablo of
tho samo dimensions, having ascertain
ed that tho property had boon insured
for moro than it was worth. Tho buil
der reported that ho could replaco tho
stablo with how material for $500, but
unfortunately there was an ordinance
preventing tho erection of framo build
ings tho old stablo having been of
wood. Ho wa3 asked to cstlmato tho
cost of a brick ntable, and reported tho
amount at $700. Theagont then noti
fied Shmidt that ho would build him a
now brick stablo in placo of tho old
framo one, but Sciimidt becarao very
indignant at tho proposition, saying :
"I do not understand this insurance
business. I pay you for nine hundred
dollars, and when my stabloburndown
you mako me a new one. I not want a
now shtablo. I want nlno hundred dol
lars." Tho agent reasoned witli Shmldt,but
all to uo purposo When tho stablo was
about finished, Shmidt went to consult
n lawyer, thinking that ho could still
got tho amount of tho policy, besides
having tho new stablo. Tho lawyer,
however, informed him that tho com
pany had a right to mako good tho loss
by building n now stable, and oxprcs
sod surpriso at tho idea of bringing suit
"But," said Schmidt, "I insuro for
nlno hundred dollar, ond dls foliar put
up dem shtablo for soven hundred and
fifty, I do not uudershtaud tho Insur
Finding ho could not compel tho pay
ment by law, ho becamo disgusted with
tho insurance business altogether. Call
ing upon tlio agent Shinidb said :
"Mr. Agent, I want you to shtop
dem insurance on initio frow. I do not
pay any moro monlsh dat way. I not
undershtand this Insuranco business."
Agent surprised. "Why, Mr.
Shmidt, you aro doing a vory foolish
thing. Vou havo paid considerable on
this .policy already, and if your wlfo
should dlo you will get $5,000."
"Yaw, dat Is what you tell mo now,"
Bald Shmidt; "Ven I pays you on my
shtabio you say I get nine hundred dol
lar if it burns down. Ho It was burnt,
and you not givo mo mlno monish.
You ?ay, 'O, dat was an old framo shta
blo, ish not word nnydings; I mako
you a brick shtablo,' and you no pay
rao my nlno hundred dollar. Ven my
frow dies, den you say to me, 'O, sho
vash an old dutch woman; she not
word anydlngs; I get you a new Eng
lish wifo !' And so I loso mlno fivo
thousand dollars. You not fool Shmidt
ngaln. I not understand dls insurnneo
How they Pull Teeth lu Elk Co.
Our liandsotno friend Blakely, of tho
St. Mnry's Gazette, has had a real old
fashioned tooth ache, and in a lit of des
peration rushed to n dentist, to havo it
pulled. The opration is thus described,
Wo had the toothacho last week. Not
ono of the good old Jumping kind, but
a regular grumbler; a kind of a dyspep
tic toothacho. Wo tried all tho reme
dies which tho ingenuity of man over
devised. Wo rammed red hot pokers
Into It; took two quarts of laudanum,
ten pints of creosote and two pounds of
mustard plasters, and wrapped them
ttround tho offending dental Ivritator.
Wo swabbed it out with Davis' Pain
Killer, and poured Into It fivo bottles of
soothing syrup, and a bushel of Mc
arath's Electric Oil. Thompson's Pitin
Killer found it purchaser in us, nnd Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup formed n
part of our culluary department; but
that toothacho stayed and stayed, and
wo wanted to swear and keep at It, Af
ter hi ring a railroader to drill a hole in
our molar, and blast it out with n keg
of Nytro Glycerine, Powder nnd Gun
cotton, without any relief, wo went to
tho dentist. Ho was at homo, and wo
wero sorry. Wo took a seat and held
on to tho chair with all tho agony of
despair: First tlio dentist chopped
round tho molar with a broad axo,thcn
ho Inserted a crow bar, and gently pried
away a quarter section of our lower
Jaw. Then ho filled tho cavity with
benzine, nnd started it burning; then,
to allay Irritation ho rubbed It off with
saiid and emery paper. Then ho got
a windlass and a log chain; then ho
fired n rovolvcr through tho tooth, and
hooked tho chain through tho hole, then
ho nailed us to tho wall, and hung a
grlndstono to each arm, nndnmlllstouo
to our foot, so that wo couldn't kick
vory much, then ho commenced to turn
tho windlass, whllo the choir sang, "sin
ners why will yo die," varied by
"Down tho Toby and up Iho Clarion,"
aud finally, after much tribulation, tho
chain broke, nnd tho tooth didn't como
out. And bo tho dentist gavo.it up as
n bad Job, and sent us a bill for tho uso
of Ids Instruments, damages done to
his log chain, and tho choral services.
And tho tootli still keeps ou aching.
And If our readsrs think our experience
as a toothlst Isn't worth recording in
tho Gazette, Just let them try to run a
paper In Elk county when there Is no
news and sco what they would do when
tho dovll Is howling for copy and there
Is nothing for him.
Two woll d re-Bed shoemakers being
In tho company of some gentlemen, who
asked their profession, Bays ono of
"I practice tho ArW-Ingart."
"And I," says tho other, "labor for
tho good of men' soleal"
A Modest Dun. A tailor presented
his acoouut to a gentleman for sot tlo
monk "J'llloob ocer your bill," said
tho gentleman. "Very good" said tho
tailor; "but pi8y don't orrWoo it,"
Secrets of Masonry.
Old Zach Wheeler was qullon charac
ter In hU time, being n clover, easy go
ing confiding man, who managed to let
overybody cheat him out of his Inherit
ed estates. Just as Iho last farm was
about to slip out of his hand?, ho suc
ceeded In raising tlio money to lift tho
mortgage. Aaron Reiner, a prominent
Mason, accompanied him to tho town.
As they wero riding nloiig on horseback,
so Aaron says, men, in a coniiuing
manner, said :
''Now, Aaron, wo nro all ono, nnd I
want you to toll mo tho secrets of Ma
"I can't Ziich, they would kill mo."
"Why, no, they won't they'll nover
find it out."
"Yes, thoy will; you'll epealc of It."
"No, I swear I won't."
"Well, If you'll rldo closo along sldo
of mo and put your hand under my
thigh, and tako tho oath I'll adminis
ter, I'll tell you the secret of Maionty."
Zach was not slow to comply ; and a
most powerful "iron-clatl" oath wasad
minstored and taken.
"Now for tho socrols I" cxelalmod tho
Impatient and unsuspecting victim.
"Well," said Aaron, with mock so
lemnity nnd secrecy, "in tho first plnco,
wo Masons combine together to client
overybody ns much ns wo can. This Is
tho grand secret.
"Tho second is like unto it. When
wo can't find anybody elso to cheat, wo
cheat each other, but as llttlo as wo
"Well," exclaimed Ztch, with ovi
dent surprise, "I swear I'll Join I wish
I had done It twenty years ago I
might havo been a rich man afore now."
A C'urlons Custom.
It wa3 tho custom of Babylon, fivo
hundred years boforo tho Christian era,
to havo an annual auction of tho unmar
ried ladles. In every year, on a certain
stated day, each district aasombled all
its virgins of marriageable ago. The
most beautiful was put up first, and tho
man who bid tho highest gained poss
ession of her. Tho tccond in personal
ch irins followed her, and so on, so that
bidders might gratify themselves with
liandsotno wives, according to tho health
of their purses. Thero may yet remain
in Babylon soino for whom no inonoy
was oirered, but tho'provldent Babylon
ians managod that. When all tho come
ly ones aro sold, tho crier orders tho
most deformed to stand up, and after
demanding who will marry hor for a
small sum, she is adjudged to him who
is satisfied with tho least ; and in this
manner tho money raised from tho salo
of tho handsome, serves as a portion to
thoso who aro cither of dUagroeablo
looks, or lliat havo any other. Imperfec
tion. "Somifl on tho Goose,"
A pious old negro woman was onco
caught by hor master stealing a gooso ;
and tho next Sunday sho partook of the
communion, after which her master ac
costed her as follows :
"Why, Hannah, I saw you to day at
tho communion tablo I"
"Yes, tank do Lord, massa, I was
'lowed to bo dero wld do rest ob his fami
ly." "But, Hannah, I was surprised tohto
you thero I" ho said, "How is it about.
Sho looked a llttlo surprised, as if bha
didn't comprehend tho causo of hi
wonder ; but soon catching tho ineanlus
exclaimed: "Why, sar, do you tint I'se a goln' to.
let an old gooso stand betwren ran and
Thero aro various ways of making a
will. Lord Clyde, tho celebrated Eng
lish general, wroto his at his club on a
slieet of note-paper in halfadozen IIihh,
and it was duly proved. A certain hos
tier in articulo mortis, crawled to tho
corn-chest, raised tho lid, scrawled lib
parting Injunction on tho wood with
pleeo of chalk, got n post-boy nnd n st.i
ble-raan lo witness his signnture, mid
tho box-lid, being tnken off its hlngi.
was accepted as a valid Instrument. An
eminent English queen's counsel mad
his last testament In theso words: "Ev
erything to my lirotherTom ;" and, be
ing duly attested, tho document was
found hiifllcient. On tho other hand, It
was remarked of tho great artist, Turn
er, that ho could draw overytliing but si
will, since, wishing to leavo ilvo hun
dred thousand dollars to found an asy
lum for decayed oll-paiutcrs, his Inten
tion was defeated owing to lmpcrfi-c-tions
in tlio witnessing.
A Poweiu'UL Insect. Tho tenden
cy ofooldiers togrotesquo exaggeration
iu well illustrated by tho remark of ono
of them concerning that greatest peat
of tho eamp which tho dictionaries de
nominate a "small insect of tho; genus
pcdiculus-" I prcsumo overy army In
history has been annoyed by this ato
my, but I think nono suffered from It
and at tho samo timo inado It tho sub
Jcct of habitual Jest before tho nrmleaof
our war. As in the e.tso of overy other
source of vexation, tho men grumbled
at it, phllosophlml over it and laughr d
"I could bear tho Utile felloWH, and
say nothing about them," I hoard a
dry Joker In bluo say to iils;;comradeH
at rovclllo roll-call ono morning : "but
such monsters as there aro In this camp
Why, I wolto up last night and taw
ono of theto creeterslslttlng at tlio foot
of my bunk. Ho had hit back to mo,
and there was a great U. S. A. on it;
but when hoturncd round great Scott!
what d'yo think hu wan doing?"
"Eating hard-tack," suggested one,
with a wink.
"Smoking your pipe," put in anoth
er. "No ho wasn't, ho was pkkiug his
teeth with my bayonet.''
Syjjney Smith ny, reresrineto t
unnecessary consumption of tbodf "Ao
cording to my conwunpUoa I hnvs out
n aud drunk betiyetB teiU nud
seventeenth year, forty-four wagon
loads more than was good for mo."