t (I
vwumu(U . , KATES OP ADVERTISING.
. .. I KC. A Bv y N J v. I
I PUBLISHED EVERY I'll! DAY MORNING
T11E COLTJHMAX IIUILIIINO NKAIl THE COURT
HOUSE, BY
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
Editor nml Proprietor.
fcrn"Two Collars Year, payable In Advanco,
airiauiiyvrioisr sooo.
JOD -HINTING
fall descriptions executed Willi neatness aud
uispaicu ae rcaisuuuuiu .una.
Bloomsburg Directory.
STOVES AND TINWARE.
. t ii i t f .i i . .. i . in. I-... .
, pert block, Malu at. went or Market. vlnl3
tACOB MKT7,, dealer In Rtovcn nntl tlnwnro
I jiiflm sircut, uuuvc coun uouse, vini
CLOTHING, &c.
kAVin LOWRNI1KRG, MercliftntTaitor.Mntn
i m u uuur uuuvu Aiiicricnniiouc. vinu
I ihoNcw rorliiim Hewlnc Machine, comer nf
fcntrennu uam hi., over iuiuers more, va-nao
DltUGS, CHEMICALS, Ac.
'. LUTZ. Dru?rrstandAitfi1hicnrv.Mnln si..
, below the Post Office. vl-n3
JOYEH 11UOS., Druggists and Apothecaries.
R Ilrowcr's block Mulu at. vl-n43
CLOCKS, WATCHES, AO.
j ci.. . ... u, utiun n v.iim:ki, incurs unu
. Jewelry, Main at., Just below tlio American
Vl-IJ
FoUIS IIERNHARD, Watch anil Clock maker.
j Dear souiueosicorneriuaiu anil iron BIS.V1--M
lESBYZUrriNOEIt, Watched, Spectacles A
I Jewelry sc., Main Street near west St. V3 nl5
a ua.i.ww... in. ii iiiiu utii'. ..iiucit.uiii-
I, act street, below Malu. vi-M3
fliTtinnii tirni1. ..... r.i..i. ir.i . .
I BOOTS AND SHOES. p P. DALLMAN, Merchant Tailor, Second St.
I). Robblua' Building. v2-M8
M. BROWN. Root and Rhoomaker. Centre pill. J.' K. ROIlBINB. Surgeon and rhyslelan
, street, rear of Bobbins & Lyer's Store. V1-M3 y second St., below Main. v2-M8
UVID BETZ, Boot and Shoemaker. Main at.. plLBERT KLINE, dry BooclsTgrocorlcs, nnd
) below Hartman's store, west of Market. vl-U j general merchandise, Main Street v2-nl2
IENRY KLEIM, Manufacturer and dealer In T n. KIHTLER, "Cattawlssa llnusc," North
I Hoots and shoes, Groceries, etc., Main street, J . Corner Main and Second Streets. v2nl8
Mt Uloomsburg. vl-nM .
; T KEILER, Blllard Saloon, Oyitcrs, and Ice
II. Cream In season Main St. v2ul2
PROFESSIONAL. M. BROHST. dealer in OeneralMe'rchandlse
ill. Dry Goods, Groceries die. v2-ul8
It. H. C. I10WER, Surgeon Dentist, Main at., -,.,,,,. . .... , ., ,. .
J above tho Court llouso. l-ud CJUSQUEH ANN A or Brick Hotel. S. Kosten-
O bunder rroprietor.aouth-eaat corner Main and
in. WM. M REBER, Surgeon and I'hyslclan, Bccond Street. V2ul2
lExchangoBlockovorWcbb8bookstorov3-u . .
SI). RINARD, dealer In Stoves and rin-wnre,
,,.,u.u,,B,uuaw.i. . Main Street. V2n
extracted without pain: Main at., nearly op-
bite Episcopal Church, vl-nlO TTTM. JI. ABBOTT, Attorney at law, Main Kt.
II V2ul2
It. IKELER. Attornev.nt.I.nw. nrtlcp 7.1
fl.or InExchanco Block, near tho 'l:xrhBnr.H
IbtcL" V3-U1
O. BARKI.EY. Attornov-at.I.aw. ntllcn. 5,1
b. floor in ExcUanieBlock.neartiifi"Kxchamrn
otel." . vl-uS
B. McKELV Y, M. D., Surgeon and rkyatciam
.north aide Main Bt below Market, vln(3
It. EVANS, M. D., Surgeon and l'hyalclan,
nouth aldo Main atrcct, below Market. Yl-nU
a RUTTER. M. D. Kurisecm and I'livaidnn
, Market strict, above Main. vl-n!3
! B. ROBISON, Attorncy-ot-Ijiw, OHlcoIIart
; aian'a building, Main street. -2.n20
llILLINERY & FANCY GOODS.
PETERMAN, Millinery and Fancy Goods,
l.opposlto Episcopal Church, Main at, vl-ntJ
IISS LIZZIE BARKLEY, Milliner, Ramsey
UU1IU1UB K1UIU BIll-Cl, Vl'Illl
1SS A. I). WEBB, Fancy Goods, Notloni,
uimiiB, iiiiu niiiuuiiery, i,xi'!iaigo uiociE.iuain
Sett. vl-nia
M. DERRICKKON, Millinery and Fancy
uouus,.luiiiai., UI'IUW iiirKU., Vl'lUl
IKS. E. KLINE, Millinery and Fancy Good',
i Aiuiu sireeb uciuw uini;i, Vluii
IRS. JULIA A. A BADE BARKLEY, Ladles'
BuuiiKH huu lyrcsn 1'aiieruj, souiueaat coiner
tin and West sts. vl-nW
ME MISSIS HARMAN Millinery and Fancy
Itiowls, Matuht.,below.AmeilcanIIouse, vlull
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
IMEBIC'AN HOUSE, by Joliu Lcacock, Main
.BIIICI, Hi ui iiuu bircci, Vl'UJ
lOLUJiniA HOTEL, bv 11. Ktnl.licr. lliiiii s
I kbove Court House. vlii
lORKS HOTI-'f.. tiv T. llfnt. Tnv!,.r ..nut.-nd
lofMalustivct. vl-13
LEACOCK, Oyster and Eatlngaaloon, Ainerl-
.CauUouse.MlltllHt.. IInltr.irI.iMii.nlr utiii.rlii.
bleat. vl-n45
flDMYEK A JACODY, Confectionery, Bakery
V BDd OVBtPrflnlnnn. vluilr.iiln nml i-. (nil I'v.
lange Block, Main street. vl-u 13
JfERCIIANTS AND GROCERS.
C. JIARR. Dry Goods and Nnli fills. f.niith.
en comer Main and Iron sta. V1-U13
I B.SEESIIOLTZ. dealer In Ly Goods, Oro-
'Wrles- ltnntB hii..nj An tniL i
streets. ' vs., m
I Ai HECKLEY. Boot and Shbe atorc, books
slallopery, Main at., below Market. vl-nl3
JACOBS, Conlectlonery, groceries etc., Main
. at., below Iron vMO
Ldi&A in i r ' ero1 Blnclo "lercnan-
f ru-uT. . iuri, curuer oi .ihiii aircci ana
"tlckroaU. vl.ntt
rri'i..'S!Eni,li Confectionery and Bakery.
I "Qletale and retail. Eithaugo Block, vl-ull
Ilil?'rl' n"!"f nd f'aps, Boots andShoea,
. Slalu at., above Court Houae. vl-nli
L ?5?i4i'R' Djy Ooods Oroceriea, etc., cor.
""lain at, and Court llouso alley. vl-n43
liiSF ', ,?. fi? .?.?
KrrM1iiJi9N,,?rocerle'' I'rovisloua, Main
Ll'rcet "'ow Market. vl-ull
1 4YSlJinaJ,o0Sr,l"n,nia, Vcucria MercUyn-
i - " . . ii
nS,iIJ!5 & t0N, dealer in Dy Goods.
In- CI,l"i uueenaware, Flour, fcalt Shoes
rto. etc., Exchange Hlo'ck, Mqluat. ' vj-nfj
I'ffir1 ,ffl Coufectionetles, Main
MISCELLANEOUS.
?SMcNe:Mrwt':rl!9' 0,10 door SZ
"tar the railroad. "
. tokp,nLt51;MAN;i,f!adl110. Trunk Harness
Lter, bhlvu's liluck Mulu street. vinta
I' lruSJiP.I!?sI, qll.1r eIcrccona door nrom
v. .v. in,-. mu huu iron sta. vi-nu
IttKjiii'iod.'0' Muuso"'" 3KS
I J.THnnv.. ........ .
I.W4ir.7. .: "n ,'aper. wmuow snaaes
niturcB, Rupert block, Main at. vl- O
I?ritt?1ME?'Li Furniture Rooms, three story
aln btrctt, wtst of Market at. vln
feSTPCK,rhotoBrapl icr, over Robblns
era Store, Maui at. Vl-U
ik-SP'Uf. dealer In Mrnt. 'l'nllow. elp. Chem.
i'hey,rearofAmerlcau House, vlnt3
I'H.V TT.,. : : r
tratf,B:'',i'''iun CO., mutual and caan
blrpp,roIK'u colnraulea,Urower' Bnlld-
I''1'ENIACH, Broom Factory. Or-
ieirfiinr, "'" "iucu orni Aimers nun a
ltd. 'InIlly ailed. Best green Wcatcrn brush
IC""! rooma Main air.n,i irm, vs..9i
1:AbV'5.M'''.-tU'oo.n-Ut.liachiiflt,lt
!' L"alugs uiaduBtahort
-"ln"y made and repalied. v2-u
L'!oSl!,!.?V?eAler,nPn. "'eon' and
i-i , v , uoreii-a lurunuro rooms
vi.nl,
'.Et in" Marble and Brown 8ton7
b "loomaburg,llerwlck road, vl-n.e
k, ....... iwu, ,1-uig
diet7.!' uMc-i corner
'u1dcIalu, furniture, trunks, cedcr
" are, near t he Forks Hotel. v-ul5
VOLUME IV ---NO 20.
Orangovillo Directory,
i A 15, W. COLEMAN, Merchant Tailors and
il. Gent's rumlshlng goods, Main St next door
to tbo Brick Hotel, vl-n 17
1 II. HERRING ft BROTHER.Carpcnteis arid
A. Builders, Main st below l'iuo. 1-1H7
BOWER A HERRING, dealer In Dry Goods,
Groceries, Lumber and general Merchandise,
Main st, vl-nli
BRICK DQTEL and refreshment Saloon, bv
RohrM'Hpiiry cor.ofMaln niidl"lno8t.,vl-ni7
DR. 0. A.MEGARGEL.I'hysicIan and Surircon,
Malu st next door to Good's Hotel vl-n!7
) AVID IIERRIN0 Flour oud GrlslMlil.'and
U Dealor in grain, Mill Street. vlul7
HH.ftC. KELCHNER.BIacksmltin.on Mill
. Street, near 1'lno. vl-u 17
TAMES 11. HARMAN. Cabinet Maker and Uu.
v uciiujiuuitiuLUDi,, ueiuw i ine.
Vl-nt7
JM. HARMAN, Saddle and Harness maker.
, Main St., oppslto Frame Church. V2nll
JOHN FHYM1RE, Saddle and Harness maker,
,1 Main ct.,iboe the Swan Hotel. vl-nlf
LEWIS H. SCHUYLER, Iron founner'siacliln.
1st, and Manufactuter of plows, MlllSl.vI-ni7
M
II.EB A. WILLIAMS iCo,,Tannersand Man-
uiaciurera oi leuincr, iviut utrcot. V1-UI7
SAMUEL SHARPLEKS. Maker of the llByhurst
Grain Cradle. Malu Bt. v2n5.
w
ILLIAM DELONG Shoemaker and mannfac-
tureroi iirick, .Milt St., west or Fine vlull)
Cntawissn.
Light Street.
II. IRVINE, Medical Store Malu Street and
Ilrlarcreck Road. Jul!)
H
F. OMAN it Co.. WbenluTlolitii flrf. ,nnr
, above School House. vliHU
JOHN A. OMAN, Manufacturer and dealer in
Boots and Shoos, vlnlil
1 J. I.EISER.M. D.. Surgeon and Physician.
OlUco at Keller's Hotel. v2n27
PETER ENT, dealer In Dry Goods Groceries.
Flour, Feed, Salt, Fish, Iron, Nails, etc.. Main
street. vlnlj
It
S. ENT. denier lti Stiivpu nml Tin wurn i
all Its blanches. vlnltl
Espy.
1) F. REIGllAltD.S BRO..denler In Dry Goods,
) Groceries, and general Merchandise. v2nli
PHI'Y ST1LVM FLOURING SI1LI.S, CS.FowItr,
U I'roprlotor. v2n ll!
J D. WERKHEISF.R.RoolnndHhoeKtoroond
manufactory. Shuii on Main Mieet on
poslto tho Steam Mill. T2ul
rp W. EDGAR.Susauehanna rianlngMIU and
! Box Manufactory. v2ull
Buck Horn.
If O, A W. II. SHOEMAKER, dealers in drv
111. goods, groceries and genual meichaudlse.
Urst store lu south cud of town. 2-nls
Business Cards.
jJ M. L'VELLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Aahland, Schuylkill County Fa.
Q W. MILLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Ofllco Court llouso Alley, below tho C01.UM
iiian Office. Bounties, Rack-Fay and Tensions
collected. Bloonisburg Fa. sep.'JU'tr
JORERT F. CLARK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office Main Street below tho Couit llouso,
Bloomsburg I'enn'a,
J7 II. LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office Court-llouso Alley, below the Coluji
niAN Oftlce, Bloomsburg Fa,
c.
B. UROCKWAY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ni-ooHsucno, pa.
3-Ofrirr Court llouso Alley, In the Co
lujiuian building. Janl,'U7.
"17 J. THORNTON
I v. would annouueo lot be citizens of Blooma
burg and vicinity, that ho has Just received it full
and complete assortment of
WALL PAPER, WINDOW SHADES,
yiXTUUKS, COKDS, TAS9i:i-i,
and all other gooda In Ills line of business. All
tho neweat aud moat oppioved patterns of tho
day are always to bo found In his establishment.
mur.9,'Mi-ir Main St. below Market.
J B. I'URSEL,
HARNESS, SADDLE, AND TRUNK
MANUFACTURER,
and dealer lu
CARPET-BAGS, VALISES, FI.Y-NETH,
iiuryALO Hours, iior.sE-iiLANKtTS Ac,
which ho feels confident ho can sell at lower
rate than any other poison lu tho county, Ex
amine fur youraehes.
Shop thlid door below tho Court House, Main
Street, Bloomsburg, Pa.
uov. 15,'W,
s
E N T F R E E 1
M. O'KEEFE, 8N A CO.'H
SEED CATALOG VK
And auiDK to the
FLOWER nnd VEairrABLE
Garden, For 1870.
Published In January, Every lover of llowcis
wishing this new aud mi! liable work, free ol
charge, should adiliess immediately M. O'Kccfo
Son A Co., Lllwiingcr a Barry's Blockllochester,
N, V D.c.il.VJ.-lUn
P I M V L E S.
The undersigned will cheerfully mall U ukk) to
all who wish it the Riclpu and full directions
or preparing and iialng n simple and Beautllul
Vegeluble Halm, that will immediately remove
1 ati, Freckles, Pimples, Blotches, and all erup
tions audlmrHirltKaoltiiHt-kln.leavlugthesauie
soft, clear, smooth aud ten ml ml.
He will ulso send (hiek) instructions for pro
ducing. by verysl mplo means,), luxuriant growth
of Hair on a baldhcad or sinootti face iu less than
thirty daya from llrst application.
'1 ho above can bo ol-tulned by return mall by
addressing 'I llox.F. CHAPMAN, I htmlst.
P. ll. Box UKf, IDS Broadway, Now Ytkr,
Aug. 11,'UMy,
pOWDER KEGS AND LUMBER,
W, M, MONROE A CO.,
Rupert, Pa.,
Manufacturers of
POWDER KEGH,
oud dealers In all kluds of
LUMBER,
give notice that they aro prepared to accotuoJat
heir custom with dispatch, and ou the cheapes
Philadelphia Directory.
Jtojorr. it. AitTMAN, c. it, DibtiHattn. m. jioiiy
RTMAN, DILLINGER A CO.,
NO. 101 NORTH THIRD ST. PHILADELPHIA,
Two doors abovo Arch, furmcrly 220,
MANtlKACTUnnni AND JOllUKlIS IN
CAiirETs, cdnoNs, yarns, hatting,
Oil. CLOTHS, CARPET CHAINS, CORDAGE,
OIL SHADUS, GRAIN BAGS, TIE YARN,
WICK YAIIK, WINDOW rAFEII, COVKM.F.TS,
ALSO,
willow Ann wooni.w waiiv
llnouMs, imirijir.v.ooKi.NO ni.Assr.8,TiiujiK9,
fob. S,'09,
jgAGLE HOTEL.
3'47 Nohtii Titinn Btokkt,
R. D. CUMJIINGS, Pnorntr.TOR.
JgSTABLISIIED 1793.
JORDAN A BROTHER,
Wholesale Grocers, and Dealers In
SALTPETRE AND BRIMSTONE
No 219 North Third St,
Philadelphia.
W. ULABON & CO.,
Manufacturers of
OIL CLOTHS AND WINDOW SriADEe,
Wnrehoii.se, No. 121 North Third Street
Philadelphia.
Q.EORGE II. ROBERTS,
Importer and Dealer In
HARDWARE, CUTLERY", GUNS, Ac.
No. 311 North Third Street, abovo Vine
Philadelphia.
C. II. IIOUNK. W. S. KINO. J. 11. SKYDEUT.
JJORNE, KING & SEYBERT,
WHOLESALE DRY GOODS.
No. 121 Market Street
PHILADELPHIA.
Ordcis filled promptly at lowest prices.
January 3, ISC',
JJ W. RANK'S
VIIOLE3ALE TOBACCO, t-NUFF, AND
CIGAR WAREHOUSE,
No. 118 North Third Street,
Between Cherry and Race, M ust side.
Philadelphia.
II.
WALTER,
. Late Waller A Knul,
Importer and Dealer lu
CHINA, GLASS, AND O.UEENHWARE,
No. 231 N. Third Street,
Philadelphia.
' M. KEI'IIEART,
. WITH
BARNES, BRO. .t HERRON,
HATS, CAPS, STRAW GOODS A FURS,
NiftOJ Market Street,
(Abovo Fifth,)
PltII.AHEl.)'ltl..
JOIIN STROUP it CO.,
Hueeessor.s to stroup A Brother,
WHOLESALE DEALEItH IN Vls.ll
No. 21 North Whoies and 23 North Third St
1 hllailoiphla.
RICHARDSON L. WRIGHT, JR.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
NO. 1 SOUTH SIXTH STREET.
l'HOLAUEI.rill .
oct. 22,'C9-ly
gNYDER, HARRIS & BASSETT,
Mauuractureis nnd Jobbers of
JIEN'S AND BOYS' CLOTHING,
Nos. C2j Maiket, and S22 Commerce Street.
Philadelphia.
"yiLLIAM FISHER
WITH
THOMAS CARSON A
WHOLESALE
DEALERS IN HOSIERY,
MEN'S FURNISHING GOODS,
LINENS A NOTIONS
NO. 18 NOllTII FOUItTH HT1IEKT
IMiilndelphln.
June sl.'bO-Oni
'Y'AIlTHAN & ENGELMAN,
TOllAULU, bJlld' J. HLUAU
MANUFACTORY,
NO. 313 NOUTH TillltD STIIEET
Second Door below Wood
PHILADELPIIIA.
J. W.WAllTMAN. 1. ENOLLMAN.
VI1ULESALE UROCE11S,
N. L". Corner Second and Aich btreets,
PlIILADELI'HlA,
Dealers In
TEAS, SYRUPS, COFFEE, SUGAR, MOLASSES
1IICX, STICKS, III t'AHIl SODA, AC, AC.
9-0rders will icc.lvo prompt attention,
may lU,li7-tf.
Hotels.
Q O L U M B I A II O T E L.
11 v
IimtNARD HTOHNER.
lluvlur. lalelv nurdinsetl and fitted uu tbo
well-know n.Roblsou Hotel Property, located n
few Doom Aiiovr. the cour.T house,
on tho same side of the street, in the town of
Bloomsburg; and having oblalued a license for
tbo same as a
HOTEL AND I1E.STARANT,
tho Proprietor hasdctcrmlned toglvetotbc peo
plo visiting tbo town on business or pleasure,
A LITTLE MORE ROOM.
His stubllngaUo Is citfnslve, aud Is fitted up
to put buggies aud cariiugcs lu tho dry. Hu
nromlses that overthlni: iiLout his estublKh.
luent shall bo conducted In an orderly una law
ful manner: and bo resiiectlullv solicits u shorn
of tbo public palronage. ;myl7'07-lf
MM IE ESPY HOTEL.
.ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
Tho undersigned would Inform tho travelling
nubile that hu bus taken the ubovo named estab
lishment and thotouublv minted tbu snaio for
tho perfect ConVflllenco of blHinirsls. Ills Inriler
Will bO StOCkeil Willi till! l)i.&t thn iiiurl.-nt nltmclu.
The choicest liquors, wines und clgaisalways to
MU 1UI1UU IU ill. UU.,
. . , WILLIAM l'i:TTIT.
Arr.23,(a)-tf liipy.l'a.
JJRICK HOTEL,
ORANGEV1LLE, COLUJ1B1A COUNTY, PA.
ROHR M'HENRY, I'roprlotor.
Tills well known House, having been put lu
thoiough repair, Is now open to tbo tiavelltug
public. The bar Is stocked with tho choicest
liquors and cl!ais,audtl.o tablu will be, at all
tliucB.supplifd with tho delicacies of the scasou.
Nopiuus will bo spared to Insure, tho conifott of
guests.
Oiangovllle, dec, 10.'W)-ir,
J7 O R K S HOT E L,
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
The undeislgned has taken this well known
llouso, lately occupltd by George W. Manger,
and has put It lu thorough repair with eutliely
new furulluie, Ac. Evuy intuition will be paid
to tho commit and convenience of guests, xhe
bar alwuj a supplied with tho best of llquoraand
duals. T. BENT. TAYLOR
marll'70-3m.
MONi OUR HOUKfi
RUPERT, PA.
WILLIAM BUTLER, Proprietor,
This House having been put lu thorough repair
is now npcu fir the reception of guests. No
palua will Lo spared to ensure the perfect com
fort of tho travelers. Tne Prcjirletor solicits a
slue publlo ul l mince. The bar will bo
Siocaeu hi uii iiiues Willi unu iiuuuis niiu visuid,
murintMf.
BLOOMSBTJIIG, PA., FRIDAY, MAY 20, 1870.
Tho Two Church Bulldovs.
UV JOHN II. SAX K,
A famous king would build a rlmrcli,
A templp vast and grand J
And, that tho praise might be hi sown,
Ho gave a strict command
Tint nono should add the smallest glfl
To aid the work ho planned.
And when tbo mighty dome was done,
Within the hoblo framo
Upon a tablet, broad and fair,
In letters all allamo
With burnished gold, tho people read
Tho royal builder's name.
Now when tho king, elato with pride,
That night had sought his bed,
Ho dreamed ho saw an nngol come,
(A halo round his head,) ,
Eraso the royal name, and wrlto
Another In Its stead.
What could It mean 7 Three times that night
That wondrous vision came ;
Till co times he saw that angel hau l
Eraso tho royal name.
And wrlto n woman's in Its stead
In letters all ailame.
Whose could It he ? He gave com mand
To all about his throne
To seek the owner of tho namo
That ou tho tablet shone ;
And so it was tho courtiers lound
A widow poor nnd lone.
Tho klug, enraged ut what ho heard,
Cried, "Bring the culprit hero I"
Aud to the woman trembling sore.
He said, "'Its very clear
That you have broken my command ;
Now let tho truth appear I"
"Your Majesty." the widow said,
"I can't deny tho truth;
I love tho Loul-niy Lord and yours
And so, in simple sooth, '
I iroko your Majesty's command,
(I ciavo your royal ruth 1")
"And since I had no money, Sire,
Why I could only pray
That God would bless your Majesly ;
And when along the way
Tho horses drew tho stoucs-I gave
To ono n wisp of hay ;"
"Ah I now I sec," I ho klug exclaimed,
"Self-glory was my aim ;
The woman gave for lovo of God,
And not for worldly fame ;
'Tls my r ommand tho tablet bear
Tho pious widow's namo I"
-V. r. Lnl.jcr.
ftli.'iccllnncou'i.
THE PACTS IN THE
GREAT LAND SLIDE CASE.
UV MARK TWAIN.
(From thu lluftaln i:xprem.J
It was Iii (ho early days of Novatla
Terilory. Tho mountains aro very high
and steep about Carson, Kaglo and
Wuslioe valleys very hljh and very
steep, and so when the snow gets to
melting oh" fast In tho Spring and tho
warm surfaie-carth hegins to moisten
tuitl soften, tho disastrous landslides
commence. You do not know whatn
landslldo Is unless you havo lived In
t hat country and seen tho wholo sldo of
a mountain taken off somo flno morn
ing and deposited down in tho valley,
leaving a vast, treeless, unsightly scar
upon thu mountain's front to keep tlio
eircumstnnco fresh in your memory all
tho years that you may go on living
within seventy miles of that place.
Geneial Buncombe was shipped out
to Nevada iu tho invoice of Territorial
officers, to bo United States Attorney.
Ho considered himself a lawyer of
parts, and ho very much wanted an
opportunity to manifest it partly for
the puro gratification of it and partly
boeauso his salary was Territorially
meagre (which is a strong expression.)
Now the older citizens of a now Terri
tory look upon tho rest of tho worlil
wl th a calm, unmallgnant contempt ns
long as It keeps out of tho way when
i t gets in tho way they snub It. Some
times this latter takes tho shapoofa
practical Joke.
Olio morning Dick Sides rodo furious
ly up to General Buncombe's door, In
Carson City, and lushed into his pres
enco without stoppiiiE to tio his horse.
Ho seemed much excited. Ho told tho
General that ho wanted him to defend
a suit for him and would pay him flvo
hundred dollars if hoaeliiovcd n victory.
And then, with violent gestures nnd a
world of profanity, ho poured out his
griefs. Ho said it was pretty well
known that for somo years ho had boen
farming (or ranching as tho moro cus
tomary term is,) in Washoo District,
and making a successful thing of It, and
furthcrmoro it was known that his
ranch was situated Just in tho edgo of
tlio valley, and that Tom Morgan own
ed a ranch Immediately abovo It ou tho
mountain sldo. And now tho troublo
was that ono of thoso hated and dread
ed landslides had conio and slid Mor
gan's ranch, fences, cabins, cattlo,barns
and everything down on top of his
ranch, and exactly covered up every
shiglo vestigo of his property, to a
depth of about six feet. Morgan was
in possession and refused to vacato Hio
promises said ho was oacupylng his
own cabin and nut Interfering with any
body elso's and biiid his cabin was
satndlng on tho Riuno dirt and same
ranch It had always stood on, and ho
would llko to pco anybody make lilm
vacate.
"And when I reminded him." said
Hides, weeping, "that It was on top of
my ranch and that ho was trespassing,
ho had tho Infernal meanness to ask
mo why didn't I slay on my ranch and
hold possession whcnlsco him coming!
Why didn't I slay on It, tho blather
Ing lunatic and by George, when I
heatd that racket and looked up that
hill it was Just llko tho world wasn rip
ping and n tearing dowii that mountain
side trees going end over end In tho
air, rocks as big as a house, jumping
about a thousand feet high and burst
ing Into ten million pieces, cattlo liter
ally turned iusldo out aud a coming
hcjid on with their tails hanging out
between their teeth Oh, splinters, and
cordwood, aud thunder and lightning,
aud hall and snow, odds and ends of
hay stacks and things, and dust Oh,
dust ain't uo namo for It it was Just
clouds, solid clouds of dust I aud lu
tho midst of all that wreck and destruc
tion sot that cussed Morgan on his gato
post, awonderiug why I didn't stay and
hold possession; likely I I took J list
ono gllmpso of that spccticle, Gonoml,
nnd I lit out'n tho country In thrco
Jump's exactly."
"But what grinds mo is that Morgnn
hangs on thero and won't movo off'n
that ranch says It's hls'n and ho's go
ing to keep it likes it bctter'n ho did
when it was higher up tho hill. Mad I
well, 1'vo been so mad for two days
that I couldn't find my way to town
been wandering around In tho brush iu
a starving condition-got anything hero
to drink, General ? But I'm hero oit,
and I'm n -going to law. You hear Mir"
Novcr In all tho world, perhaps, wcro
a man's feelings so outraged as wcro tho
General's. Ho said ho had never heard
of such high-handed conduct in all his
llfo as this Morgan's. .And ho said
thero was no uso in going to law Mor
gan had no shadow of right to remain
whero ho was nobody in tho wldo
world would uphold him in it, aud no
lawyers would tako his caso and no
Judgo listen to It. Sides said that right
thero was whero ho was mistaken ev
erybody in tho town sustained Morgan;
Hal Bray ton, a very smart lawyer, had
taken his caso; tho courts beinor in va
cation, It was to bo tried beforo n referee,
imu ox-uovcrnor noop had already
beou appointed to that olUce, and would
open his court in tho largest parlor of
uio urmsuy House at two that after
noon. Tho Innocent General was amazed.
Ho said he had suspected before, that
tho peoplo of that Territory were fools,
and now ho know it. But ho said rest
easy, rest easy and collect the witnes
ses, for tho victory was just as certain
as if -tho conflict wcro already over.
Sides wiped away his tears aud left.
At two in tho afternoon Referee
Roop's Court opened.and that rcmorso
less old joker appeared throned among
his slierins, his witnesses and n "pack
od" jury, and wearing upon his face a
fraudulent solemnity so awe-lusplring
that somo of his fellow-conspirators had
misgivings that may be ho had not com
preheuded, after all, that it was merely
a joke. An unearthly stillness prevail
ed, for at tho slightest noiso tho Judge
uttered riternly tho command;
"Order in the court!"
And the Sheiirls promptly echoed it.
Presently the General elbowed his way
tluough tho crowd of spectators, witli
his arms full of law-books, and on his
ears fell an order from tho judgo which
w us the first respectful recognition ol
his high official dignity that bud ever
saluted them, and it saturated his whole
system with pleasure.
"Way for the United States Attorn
ey V"
Tko witnesses wcro called legislators,
high Government officer, ranch men,
minors, Indians, Chinamen negroes.
Three-fourths of them wcro called by
tho defendant Morgan, but no matter,
their testimony invariably went in
favor of tho plaintiffSIdes. Each new
witness only added new testimony to
the absurdity of a man's claiming to
own another man's property becauso
his farm had slid down on top of It
Theu tho Morgan lawyers mado their
speeches, aud seemed to niako singular
ly weal: ones they did really nothing
to help tho Morgan cause. And now
tho General, with a great glow of tri
umph on his face, got up aud mado a
mighty effort ; ho pounded tho table,
ho banged tho law-books, ho shouted,
and roared and howled; ho quoted
from everything and cverybody,poetry,
sarcasm, statistics, history, pathos, and
blasphemy, and wound up with a grand
war-whoop for frco speech, freedom of
tho press, frco schools, tho Glorious
Bird of America nnd tho principles of
eternal justice! Applause.J
When tho Gen. sal down, ho did it
with the comfortable conviction that if
thero wcro anything iu good strong
testimony, a big speech, and believing
and admiring countenances all around,
Mr. Morgan's cake wasdough. Ex-Gov.
Roop leant his head upon his hand for
somo minutes, thinking profoundly,
aud the still audienco walled breathless
ly for decision. Then ho got up and
stood erect, witli bended head, and
thought again. Then ho walked tho
floor with long, deliberato strides, and
Ills eli I n In his hand, and still tho audi
enco waited. At last ho returned to his
throno and seated himself. Tho Sheriffs
commanded tho attention of tho Court.
Judgo Roop cleared his throat and
said:
"Gentlemen,! feel tho great respon
sibility that rests upon mo this day.
This is no oullnary case. On tho con
trary it is plain that it Is tho most sol
emn ami awful that oyer mon was call
ed upon to decide. Gentlemen, I havo
listened attentively to tho evidence ami
tho weight of it, tho overwhelming
weight of it, Is iu favor of Iho plaintiff
Sides. I havo also listened to tho re
marks of counsel, with high interest
and especially will I commend tho
masterly and irrofutablo logic of tho
dNtlngulalied gentleman who represents
tlio plaintiff. But, gentlemen, let us
bowaro how wo allow human testi
mony, human ingenuity lu argument
and human ideas of equity to Influcnco
us to our undoing at a moment so sol
ouiii as this'.' Gentlemen, it ill becomes
us, worms as wo aro, to meddlo with
tho decrees of Heaven. It Is plain to
mo that Heaven, In Its incriitub!o wis
dom, has seen lit to movo this defend
ant'd ranch for a purpose. Wo aro hut
creatures, and wo must submit.
"If Heaven lias chosen to favor tho
defendant Morgan in this marked und
wonderful manner; and if Heaven, uu.
satisfied with tho position of tho Mor
gan ranch upon tho mountain side, has
chosen to removo It to a position moro
eligible and moro advantageous for lis
owner, it ill becomes us, Insects as wo
are, to question tho legality of tho uct.
No Heaven created tho ranched aud it
Is Heaven's prerogative to rearrange
them to experiment with them, to shift
them, ttround at Its pleasure-. It Is for
us to submit, without repining. I warn
you that this thing which has happen
ed is a thing with which tho sacrilegious
hands and brains and tonguos of men
must not meddle. Gentlemen it is tho
verdict of this court that tho plaintiff,
Richard Sides, has been deprived of his
ranch by tho visitation of God I And
from this decision thero is no appeal."
COL.
Buneonibo seized his cargo of law
books nnd plunged out of tho court
room n raving madman, almost. Ho
pronunced Roop to bo a miraculous nss,
a fool, an inspired idiot. In nil good
faith ho returned at night and remon
strated with Roop upon his extrava
gant decision, and Implored him to
walk tho floor and think for an hour,
and SCO If he COllld not tltruro nut snmn
sort of modification of tho verdict.
Roop yielded at lost nnd got up to walk.
jio waiuc'u two Hours and a-half, and
at last his faco lit up happily nnd ho
told Buneombo It had occurred to him
that tho ranch underneath tho now
Morgan ranch still belonged to Sides,
that his titlo to tho cround Itself u-ns
Just as good as It had over been, and
inereioro no was or tho opinion that
Sides had a right to dig it out from un-
tier tnero anu
Tho General never waited to hear tho
end of it. Ho was always an impatient
and irasciblo man. Hint wnv. At ilm
end of two weeks ho got it through his
untiorstanuing that ho had been played
upon with ajoko.
Qrcaf Haters.
In tho tlmo of Charles tho First, Tay
lor, tho Water Poet, gavo an account
of ono Nicholas Wood, a Kentish man,
who had a power of stowing away a
marvelous quantity of food at a meal.
Ho was credited with having on ono
occasion dovourcd a wholo raw sheep;
on nnothcr, thrco dozen pigeons; on
a third, soveral rabbits; ou a fourth,
elghteon yards of-black pudding, whllo
on two other occasions tho figures sot
down wero sixty pounds of clierriesand
three pecks of damsons. But it will bo
better to dlsbelluvo these- statements,
and attend to the moro modorato though
still startling occouut given by Taylor,
that "Two loynes of mutton nnd ono
loyno of veal wero but as threo sprats
to him. Once, at Sir Warham St.
Leger's house, ho showed himself so
violent of teeth and stomach that ho
ate as much as would havo sorved thir
ty men, so that his belly was llko to
turn bankrupt nnd break, but that tho
serving man turned him to tho fire,
and annoiuled his paunchon with grease
and butter to mako it stretch nnd hold;
and afterward, being laid in bed, ho
slejit eight hours, and fasted nil thu
while, which, when tho knight under
stood, ho commanded him to bo laid in
tho slocks, und thero to enduro as long
as ho had lain bedrid with eating." In
thu tirao of Georgo tho First (hero was
a man who, in a fit of religious enthusi
asm, tried to maintain n Lenten fast of
forty days and forty nights. Breakintr
down in this resolution after n few days
no tool; rcvengo on himself by becom
ing an enormous eater, devouring large
quantities of raw flesh with much avid
ity. Somewhat over a century ago a
Polish soldier, presented to tho court
of Saxon as a marvel of voiaclty, one
day ato twenty pounds of beef and half
of a roasted calf. About tho same time
n youth of seventeen, apprentice to a
Thames waterman, ato flvo pounds of
shoulder of lamb anil two quarts of
green poas in fifty minutes.
An aehlovementof about equal glut
tony was that of a brewer's man, who,
at an inn in Aldersgato street, demol
ished a roast goosooi six pounds weight,
a qua rtern loaf and three quarts of por
ter in an hour and eighteen minutes.
Early in tho reigu of Georgo thoThird,
a watchmaker's apprentice, nineteen
years of age, in threo quarters of an
hour, dovourcd a leg of pork weighing
six pou nils, and a proportionate quan
tity of peas and pudding, washing
down theso comestibles with a pint of
brandy taken off in two draughts. A
fow years afterwards thero was a beggar
at Gottlngen, who ou moro than ono
occ asion ato twelvo pounds of meat at
a meal. After his death his stomach,
which was very large, was found to
contain numerous bits of flint and other
odds and ends, which nature very prop
erly refused to recognize as footl. In
fact, set tlngnsitlo altogether tho real or
alleged o ating up of a wholo sheep or
hog, tho instances are very numerous
in which u joint sufficient for a largo
family has disappeared at a meal with
in the unworthy corpus of ono man.
All the lew Jlotmil.
A Large Cannon. A smart Yuu
keo was ono evening seated In a bar
room of a cou ntry tavern in Canada,
whittling with ti Jack knife. Thero
wcro assembled several Englishmen,
discussing various matters connected
with tho pomp and circutnstanco of
war. In tho cotirso of his remarks, ono
of them stated that tho British gsvern-
ment possessed tho largest cannon in
tho world, and gavo tho dimensions of
ono ho had seen. Tho Yankee would
not lot such a baso assertion pass un
contradicted. "Pho! gentlemen," said
ho, "I won't deny that It is a fair can
non; but you aro nro a lectio mistaken
In supposing it to bo named tho s.uno
minuto with ono of our Yankeo guns
which I saw in Charleston last year.
Why sir, It was so largo that tho sol
diers wero obliged to employ a yokoof
oxen to draw in tho ball!" "And pray,"
exclaimed ono of his hearers, with a
smllo of trumph "can you tell us how
they got tho oxen out again?" "Of
course I can," returned tho Yankee,
iney unyoKeii 'em and drovo 'em
through tho touch holol"
A Wonderful Clock, A clock has
Just been completed for tho cathedral of
Bcauvuls, France, which fur surpasses
ul 1 tho existing specimens of tho clock
maker's art. It contains not 1cm than
90,000 wheels, and Indicates, among
other things too numerous to recite, tho
days of tho week, tho year, tho signs of
tho zodlae, tho equation of time, tho
planets, tho phases of tho moon, tho
tlmo nt ovory capital in tho world, tho
movoablo feasts for a hundred yours,
saint's days, Ac. Perhaps tho most cur
ious part or tho mechanism Is that
which gives tho additional day In leap
year und which, consequently Is called
Into action onlyoncoin fouryears. Tho
clock is wound up every eight days.
Tlio main dial Is twelvo feet In diame
ter, and tho total east exceeds t-10,000.
DEM. - - VOL. XXXIV NO. 13.
Scene in Court.
An individual, wlio.-io nttiro norficllv
realized tho description given in nurse-
laics oi mo man "till tntterod and
rn." nmicarcdin tliiiTtomrilnr'HfVirirt.
yesterday, charged with Insulting In-
ies upon mo street. His accuser was
very nrottv blue eved blnndn. wlm.
nrrayod In scarlet and flno linen, re
vealed nn admirable chignon and mrjst
iticeabio "Grecian." Ho much lovell-
ness could not regard othcrwiso thnn
contemptuously so much ugliness. Tho
cerulean pupils rainy sparkled with in
dignatlon whllo scorn lingerod Icily on
tho delicate lips,- and was oven notlcca-
uio in mo pug or tho turned up noso.
"You accuse this man of ItiqiiHInn-
you upon tho street, I boliovo ?" Inquir
ed tho Court of tho radiant damsel.
"I do, sir."
"In what way, madam ?"
"Ho had tho impudcuco to como up
and speak to mo, sir. You seo how ho
Is dressed dirty, his hair unkempt, his
faco unwashed and tho clothes nearly
torn from his back. Is ho an acquain
tanco a lady would wish to recognize ?"
"Ah I you know him, then ?"
"I havo seen him beforo, but I havo
no wish to bo soon speaking to hUn. I
have no such acquaintance."
"Well, sir, you havo heard tko lady's
statoment; what havo you to say?"
said tlio Court to tho tatters.
"Ispoko toher, sir!"
"What mado you doit?"
"Well, you see, your honor, this tro
man is my wife, ami Inatttrally ell an
Interest in knowlnn hoio she was nettinn
along. 1 1 seems, however, It insulted
ncr."
Such a revelation naturally created n
sensation.
A murmur went through the Court
room and then a dead silence. Tho tal
tordemallon looked reproachfully attho
"lady," and sho, looking all Uio prettier,
looked scornfully. Tho Court In much
surprise, inquired of her :
"How is this?"
"I am ashamed tosav tho noor wrr.ffh
onco sustained that rolation to mo ; but
i navo taught myself to forget him,"
and tho little pug noso went up higher,
and tho delicate Hps took a moro notlce
ablocurl. Tho Court was ovldently staggered.
Tho sensation was affecting nnd tho si
lenco almost painful. But tho fe'ourt, re
covering from tho momentary surprlso,
advised tho lady that, Ifshocamo before
him on such a charge again, ho would
teach her to remember him. Thisinfor
mation was received with hirjh I nil irm n.
tion, and with a contemptuousshako of
her robo and an oxtra wiggle or her Gre
cian bond tho insulted ludv hhnnt 11m
dust of tho court room from her feet.
Ar. O. Ficayiinc.
A "Contr Walk.
In 17J12 ThomasPeiin contracted with
Tedyuscung and soino others for a tltlo
to all tho land In Pennsylvania to be
taken off by a parallel latltudo from
any point as fur us the best orthrco men
could walk in a day, between sunriso
anil sunset, from a certain chestnut
tree nt or near Bristol, In a northwest
direction. Cnro was taken to Felcct tho
most capablo for such n wnlk. Tim
choico fell on Jame-t Yntcs, a natlvo of
Bucks county, n tall slim man of much
agility and speed of foot; Solomon
Jennings, a Y'ankee, remarkably stout
and strong; Edward Marshall, a na
tive of Bucks county, a noted hunter,
chain carrier, etc., a large, heavy set
and strong-boned man.
Tho day (ono of tho longest In tho
year) was amiolnted und tlm eimm.
pions notified. Tho peoplo collected at
wnat iney tnonght tho first twenty
miles of tho Durham road to seo them
pass. First camo Yates stepping as
light as a feather, accompanied by T.
Penn and attendants on horseback.
After him, but out of sight, camo Jen
nings with a strong, steady step; and
not far behind, Edward Marshall, ap
parently careless, swinging a hatchet
in his hand, and eating a dry biscuit.
Bets ran in favor of Yates. Marshall
took biscuit to support his stomach,
and carried a hatchet to swing in his
arms alternately, Hint tho action in his
arms should balanco that in his legs,
as ho was fully determined to beat tho
others, or dio In tho attempt. Ho said
he first saw Yates In descending Dur
ham creek, and gained on him. Thero
ho saw Yntes sitting on n log, very
tired; presently ho fell off nnii mwn nn
tho walk.
Marshall kept ou, and beforo ho
reached tho Lehigh overlook and passed
Jennings waded tho river nt Beth
lekem hurried on faster by whero
Nazareth standi, to tho Wind 'Gan.
Thnt was as far ns tho path had been
marked for them to wulk on, nnd thero
was a collection of people waitinc to
see If any of tho threo would reach It
by sunset. Ho only haltod for tho
surveyor (ogivo him a pocket eonipas?,
and started again. Threo Indian run
ners wero fiont after him to seo if ho
walked it fair, and how far ho went.
Ho then passed to tho right of Pocono
Mountain, tho Indians ilmllng it difil.
cult to keep in sight, till ho reached
HUM Water; and ho would havo gono a
few miles further but for tho water.
Thoio ho marked a tree, witnessed by
tho tlueo Indians. Tlio distance ho
walked between sun and sun, not being
ou a straight line, and about thirty
miles of it through tho woods, was es
timated to bo from onohuiidred nnd ten
to ono hundred and twenty miles. Ho
thus won tlio great prize, which vasflo
liumlri.il pounds In money,
John Bright was Intel v dinintr with
a citizen of Manchester who Is an enthu
siastic admirer of tho United States. 'I
would llko said tho host.'to comoback
fifty years after my death to seo what a
flno country Amorica had becomo.' 'I
bellevo you would bo glad or any ex
cuse to como back,' said Mr. Bright,
with a grim smllo upon Ids faco.
The ltadlcal papers want Hou. Jeff.
Davis to drop out of sight and out of
mind ail quickly as possl bio. Why don't
they let Jiiiu alono thou V
One square, (ten line, or Us cqnlvalont lu Nou.
parell type) one orwo Insertions, 11.60; thru
Insertions, 12.0(1,
space. 1m. 2m. 3u, lti. It.
Ouo square 12.50 fJ,M 11,00 18,00 110,00
Two squares 8,50 6,00 7V00 0,00 16,01
Three squares!..... 6,00 7,C0 triO 12,00 18,00
Four squares...... 7 00 9,00 11,00 17,00 25,00
Quarter column.. 10,00 12,00 11,00 20,80 80,00
Ilalfcolumn. .18,00 18,00 2000 80,09 M.M
Ouocollinm......50,00 30,00 10,00 0,00 100,09
Executor's or Administrator's Notice, 13.04 j
Auditor's or."Asslgnce' Notice, 12.50.
Local notices, twenty cents a line; by Iho year
ten cents.
Cards lulhCBusluessDlrectory" column, t?.00
per year for the flret two Hues, and 11.00 for each
additional line.
Freezing Ills Dog.
Tho following good story Is told of
Mr. Lincoln. Ho was called to an out-of-tho
way placo to attend to some legal
business In tho midst of a cold winter.
Ills client was an old Kentucky hunter
who kept ii number of dogs. The huu
tor met hlni very cordially but remark
ed that ho was sorry ho could glvo hltn
no better accommodations, as his house
was a otic-story log hut. Aftor supper,
Lincoln was put to had In tho loft, whero
ho could distinguish everything going
on below. About midnight nn enor
mous hound began to howl, and pretty
soon Lincoln heard the wifo's volco Bay
ing: "Get up, Dick, and stop that dog's
noise. Ho'll wako Mr. Lincoln." Tho
old man turned uneasily in his bed and
muttered Incoherently : "Oh, shut up,
Peg, Lincoln can sleep's well's wo can."
Soon tho dog howled again nnd the
woman repeated hur formor request,
attcuding it with somo llvoly punches,
until tho old man was worried into ris
ing, though very regrotlully. Ho went
into tho yard with no clothing on ox
cept liis shirt and was gono somo time.
Peggy's curiosity was aroused to know
tho causo of his absence, and finally,
after many preliminary moves and ex
clamations, shcaroso herself and stop
ped out of tho houso in tbo same un
dressed condition. Lincoln peepod be
tween tho logs and saw tho old man
holding tho hound by tho oars. Ho was
hailed by tho loving spouse with," Why,
what In goodness gracious sako are you
doing?" Tho hunter's response was
short and direct. "I'm holding this
d d dog 'til ho freezes to death, so
that ho won't keep Lincoln awake any
longer."
rdehemit All.
A rather hard story is tld of Mehemit
All, which Illustrates his nlco sonso of
justice. Making a tour to his provinces,
In great stnteand with n cavalry guard,
ho was stopped by an old woman, who
threw herself nt his feet. "Your high
ness," says sho, "one of your soldiers
has bought somo milk of mo for six
paras, and won't pay mo."
"Why, won't you pay her?" demand
ed Mehemit All of tho soldier.
'"Master," says he, "this woman lies.
Sho has sold me no in I Ik, nnd I owe her
nothing "
"You swear by Allah that you speak
tho truth ?" said the Pacha, to tho wo
man. "Yes, I swear it."
"And you as well?" said ho to the
soldier.
"Yes, I swear it."
"Very wclj," said the Pacha. Then
turning to his guard, ho added with
perfect composure "Take this man
and open his stomach."
Tho Pacha's orders were obeyed, and
tho milk found. The soldier hatl just
drank It.
"Tho woman Is right," said Mehemit
AH, remounting his horso; "let her
havo tho six paras that nro duo her."
And ho continued his journey.
. -.
A gentleman tras'oling In Ireland
hired a puro native as a servant, who
ho thqught could glvo him Information
of tho country. Observing a beautiful
resldenco nt somo distauco, tho follow
ing colloquy ensued.
"Patrick, who lives there?"
"It's Mr. Fitzgerald, that's dead,
sir."
"What did ho dlo of?"
"He died of a Thursday, sir."
"How long has ho been dead, Pat
rick?" "If ho had lived till next Thursday,
sir, he'd been dead a year,"
Tho gentleman thinking Pat's wits
wero wool-gathering, asked :
"Havo you taken anything to drink,
to-day, Patrick?"
"Nary dhrap."
"Will you tako a llttlo?"
"I will, sir."
"Well, what shall It ho? Will you
tako raw liquor, or will you havo grog,
or shall I mako you a toddy ?"
"If yer honor pletue, I will take tho
raw liquor first, then I can bo a drink
1 ng tho grog whllo you aro making tho
toddy."
"Tryino to the Baste." A Hi
bernian, fresh from tho "ould sod,"
having sufficient means to provide him
self with a horso and curt (tlio latter of a
kind ho probably novcr saw beforo),
w ent to work on a public road. Boing
directed by tho overseer to movo a lot
of stones near by and deposit them in
a gully on tho other side of tho road,
ho forthwith loaded his cart, drovo up
to tho place, aud had nearly finished
throwing otf his load by hand, when
tho boss told lil m that was not the way
hu must tilt or dump his load at onco
Paddy replied that ho would know bet
ter tho next tlmo. After loading again
ho drovo up to tho chasm, put his
shoulder to tho wheol und upset tho
horse, cart and all Into tho gully,
Scratching his head, and looking rath
er doubtful at his horso below him, ho
observed: "Bedad, it's a mighty sud
den way, but It must bo tryln' to tho
baste!"
Or.i C.-ESAit and the Anqel. Thero
used to bo a pious old negro in Boston
named Ciesar, and ho was In tho habit
of praying so loudly ps to ho heard by
many or tho neigimors. un souring
for tho niuht his nctltlon Invariably
was ; "Lord send dy angel for olo Ctesar,
olo Ctesar always.reaiiy." uno evening
tu-o nf hi nelL'hbors. cood men but
sometimes bored by his "style," thought
fiinv would trv him on. Thev took no-
eltlon nt his door, and when tho usual
petition was mado that "the Lord
wniilil semi tlio fiuuGl. olo Crfsar belnir
always leudy," they knocked loudly at
the door.
"Who dar I" Eald tho old darkey.
"Tho ancel of tho Lord, conio for old
Ciesar," was tho reply.
Out went tho light, n scramoiing into
bed was heard, and thon, In trembling
vlce, that snmo old uncle said ; "Go
way dar! go way I Ole Coeiar bten
dead dis ten y tarsi"
North-Western lowa eays It has
laud for a million fanners, and luvltea
tho million to como.
J1