ffc
VOL U-NO. 15
riUIE FLOHENCH
8EWING.MAC1IIN1:8
AHU THE BEST IN Till: WOULD.
Salesrooms, 030 Che9tnut Street, Philadelphia, l'n.
While a largo number of Machine havo liecn
offered to the public, sobio of whUli possess points
of excellence and acknowledged merit, wo havo
long folt what others havo experienced, the no
ocsslty of a Machine nioro perfect In Its mechani
cal structure, combining In the
HIGIir-ST DEQ11EK
HIMPMCITY WITH nUItAMI.ITT,
and whllo cnpablo of doing n
OltEATEIt ItANOU or WOIlK,
ono that could bo easily understood nnd compi e
honded by nil,
Tosuprnyn Rowlnr-Mnchlnc free from tho ob
jections attached fo others has been no easy task j
for we not only had to surpass other Machines, as
thy appeared 5 cars ago, hut also (is Improved
from tlmo to tlmo by more recent experience.
This wo boldly clnlm has been accomplished liy
tho liberal expenditure of capital, and the pa
tient, untiring labor of years; and In presenting
our MncMno to the public, we shall mnlta strong
assertions respecting Its merits, which wo aro
prepared to suhstnntlnto In every particular.
JlUeardlng the Chain and Loop.or Knit stitches,
wo adopted the
LOCK STITCH
(alike on both sides of tho fabric), which Is re
named bj the mouses us best suited to all kinds
of work. Hut to meet objections sometimes urged
against tht favorite stitch, wo have added tho
Knot, Doublo Lock, nud Iloublo Knot, either of
which Is
RTitoNor.n and iiortr. elastic
than the Lock; thus .enabling tlio operator to
Belect a stitch
l'KIUT.CTLY SUITED
toevery grado of f.ibrie,and where nocessary.sew
Beams much stronger than It is posslblo to do by
hund.
THE PEOrtENCn
makes
KOUIl WFFEHENT STITCHES
with as much case is ordinary Machines mnko
one, nnd Willi as tlttlo machinery.
The result of repeated tests has been all we
could desire, and from Its first Introduction the
Klorcneo has gained hosts of friends, and been
Tugarucd as 11
HOUSEHOLD NECESSITY J
proving that the public fully appreciate tho many
adTnntagcs combined In tho Florence -Machine.
Over all others, tho Florence must bo seen to bo
fully appreciated.
Wo claim lor tho
FLOUKNCn
tho following
ADVANTAGES
over any and all
HEWINa-MA CHINES IN THE WORM):
4-U makes fourdltlVrout stitches, tho lock,
knot, double-lock, and double-knot, 01. one nnd
tho iam machine. Kuch stitch being alike on
both sides of the fabric.
4 J- Every Machine has the reversible feed mo
tion, which enables the operator, hv simply turn-
lug a thumb-screw, to havo the work run cither
10 the right or left, to stay any pan of the seam,
or fasten the ends of seams, without turning tho
niVrlc.
AS-Changing tho length of stitch, and from
one kind of stitch to another, euu readily be doti'e
vblle tho Machine is In motion.
i-The neidla Is easily adjusted, and does not
skip stitches.
-It Is almost noiseless, and can bo used
whcrequlet Is necessary.
43 Its motions aro all poslthe; there aro no
springs to get out of ordt-r, and Its simplicity en
ables any one to operate It.
04- It does not require liner thread on the under
than for the upier side, and will sew across tho
tieaslcst Rcnui, orfiomouc to mote thicknesses
of cloth, without change of needle, tension, break
ing thread, or skipping stitches.
S-Tho Ilemmer Is easily adjusted, and will
tuiu any width of bom desired.
(u- Nu other Machine will do so or at a range
of work as tho Floience.
Wit will hem, fell, bind, gather, braid, qutlt,
and gather and sew 011 nrulllc at the sumo time.
It has 110 springs to get out of order, and will last
n lifetime.
-H Is tally prottctcd nud licensed by Ellas
Mowo, Jr., a J our own Letter lUcut.
Tito ukhig up of thoslack-thiead Is not pci
formed hf U10 Irregular contraction of n wlro coll
or Mttcetulu operation of springs, Tho precision
sunt aoooracy with which tho I'loreuco draws tho
thread Into tho cloth Is unapproached oy nny
Huwlng-Mnchlue hitherto offered In thowoild.
Wo furnish each Machine with " Uarnnm's Self.
Sewer," which guides tho work Itself, mid is of In
calculable valuo, especially to Inexperience oper
ators. Whllo iosscsslng the above, and many other
ndvuntagen, the Florence Is sold at corrosionding
prices with other flrst-chiss Machines, ami a care
ful examination will fully substantiate all that
wo havo claimed for it. and Justify tho assertion
wo now make, that it Is tho best Scwlug-Machluo
In tho world.
Wo waraant every Machine to ho oil that wo
claim for It, and to give entire satisfaction, nnd
will glvo a written warranty, If required.
Liberal nrrangeiuents made with those who bay
to hell again. Further Information may bo had
by Inclosing stamps to tho General Ollleeof tho
lloreuco Sewing-Machine Comnany,G:iu Chestnut
Htrect, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
PH1CES OF MACHINES.
T,o. 1. Plain. Tills Machine makes tho lock
and knot stllchesind has tho reversible feed.8&1
No. 2, Florence. liold-oriioiiicnted Machine,
with drawer, und light cover, without lock ;
makes all tho four stitches, and has the ie
verslble feed -
No. 3. flilvcr-platcd Machine, ornamented;
table oil-finished walnut, with heavy half
case, lock and drawer; makes all tho four
stitches, and has tho reversible feed
Ifo.l. Silver-plated Machine, highly orna
mented, and makes all tho four stitches,
nml has tho reversible feed.
Polished mahogany table
Polished llonowood Table
No. 6. Walnut table, In oil
Mahogany table, 111 .ll
lloscwood table, In oil
No. 0. Walnut, oil finished
Mahogany tablo
Itosowood table
O. O. EVANS, Oenural Agent,
030 Chestnut Street, Pklladclpliia.
JOD
PRINTING
Neatly executed at this Office.
THE COLUMBIAN,
V Democratic Newspaper,
t punusitrn ron the rriorniEioRS by
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llloomshurg, Coliinibla.Count y, Pa.
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"Cblumbian Office,"
IlLOOMSliuno, PA.
S1 1 Prlnleil at liooison s iiuiiuiuBB, iii-u
House, by CHAS. M. VANnEitsMCK,
FlIANK II. SNYDEll.
yi PAVTMSA ltAITllOAl).
j Prom ami after October 2, 111, the trains will
rti'n ,,ru-l Mmlra Mall nt 1 p.m.; Erie
K1,SnsUTH.-i'niladelplila Mall at 11 A.M.
.New y0rKBp.f.. Si;01iau wEltll. supt.
mtOCICWAY,
ATTORNEY AT LA.
HLooMsnuua, pa.
. r.rirmlUn. Alley below tto .ftj
oibcr demands against tho State ""'V.-VS?1
Governments, iu,t.
BLOOMSTttTRfJ-. PA "FttTnAY A P13TT. 1 9. l7
- .
Foil THE COLUMBIAN.
TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
1I011ACH IMITATED.
Whither, oh I whither, maddened, do ye run,
Tho sword unsheathed, tho war almost begun ;
Has then too little Anglo-Saxon blood
iiecn poured on Earth, or mixed with Neptune's
flood?
Not to defend our rights from foreign power,
-oi 10 avenge tlic Insult or an hour,
Not that our flag should float o'er Canada,
Or teach fierce ltnss the mildness of our sway,
Not to glvo Mexico a code of laws,
Or e'en to rlso In Ireland's noblo cause ;
Hut to dissolve, such seem the cruel Pales.
Tho genial union of theso happy States,
liegrado our peoplo to a second place,
And raise nlxivo them on Inferior race.
Aim cast ten commonwealths In 0110 fell day,
Horn-nth tho heel of military sway.
Destroy one-half the commerce of the main.
While ramlno broods above tho plundered nlaln !
That faithless Tlrltaln may her wish enjoy,
And Iraltrons Phillips his foul tongue employ,
That Stevens may miscegenation prove,
,nu Humner ror tno Ethlop show his love I
Tho rago of wolves nnd lions Is confined,
They never prey but on a different kind ;
nut theso their brethcrn hate with malice dread,
And choose thp dark, degraded wolly-head;
Make him the Idol of tho passing hour,
(live him to wield the flovernmcntal power.
And placed on high, beneath his saeied shade,
Worship theGod head they themselves have made.
Anil Is It so? Is Anglo-Saxon blood
Pure nnd unmixed, no longer at tho flood ?
Think not that Nature to herself untrue,
Will the great work of centuries undo ;
Tho word of flod yo stubborn blockheads see,
or Canaan still shall Japheth s servant ho I
rvjiii.icus.
JaUsrcltnnrouis.
THE GOLD-BUG.
COSTISL'EII.
" Eh? what? ah yes ! upon the
wliolc I think you had hotter not ho too
severe with the poor fellow don't Hog
hlni, Jupiter lie can't very well stand
it but can you form an Idea of what
has occasioned this illness, or rather
this change of conduct? Has anything
unpleasant happened sinco I saw you ?"
"Xo, Massa, doy nlnt bin noflln on
pleasant since den 'twas foro den I'm
feared 'twas do berry day you was
dare."
"How? what do you mean?"
"Why maiia, I mean do bug dare
now."
"The what?"
"Do bug I'm berry sartin Maa
Will bin lilt somewhere bout do head
by dat goole-bug."
"And what cause have you Jupiter,
for such a supposition ?"
"Claws enuil' massa, and moulV too.
I nebber did see slch a deuced bug he
kick and ho bite cbery ting what como
near him. Massa Will cotcli him fuss,
but ho had for to let him go gin mighty
quick, I toll you den was do time ho
must ha got do bite. I didn't liko do
look ob do bug niotiff, myself, no how,
oo I wouldn't tako hold ob him wid my
linger, but I cotcli him wid a piece ob
Ktperdat found. I rap him up In do
aper and stuff piece of it in ho mouff
dat was do way."
"And you think, then, that your mas-
tor was really bitten by tiio beetle, and
that tho bito made htm sick?"
"I don't think noflln about it I noso
it. What niako him dream about do
gooloso much, if it taint cause lie bit
by do goole-bug? Iseheerd bout dem
goolo-bugs fore tils."
"Hut how do you know ho dreams
about gold?"
"How I know ? Why he talk about
It in ho sleep dat's how I nose."
Well, Jup, perhaps you aro right;
but to what fortunate circumstances am
I toattributo tiio honor of a visit from
you to-day?"
"What do matter, massa?"
"Did you bring any moasago from
Mr. legrnnd?"
"Xo, massa, I bring tils here plssel ;'
and hero Jupiter handed 1110 a noto
which ran thus :
My Deau
Why havo I not seen you for so long
a tlmo? I hope you havo not been so
foolish as to tako olrenco nt nny little
lrumjucrie of mine; but no, that is im
probable.
yinco I saw you 1 havo nail great
calico for anxiety. I havo something
lo tell you, yet scarcely know how to
tell it, or whether I should tell it at nil.
I havo not been nulto well for somo
days past, nnd poor old Jup nnuoysme,
almost beyond endurance, by his well-
meant attentions. ould you believo
It? ho had prepared n lingo stick, tho
other day, with which to clmstiso me
for giving him tho blip, ana spending
tho day, solus, among tho hills on tho
main land. I verily believo that my ill
looks alone saved mo a Hogging.
I havo mado no addition to my cabi
net sinco wo met.
If you can, In any way, niako It con
venient, como over wmi jupiter. jju
come, l Wlill 10 seo you lu-myiu, npoii
business of importance. I assuro you
that it is of tiio highest Importance.
Ever yours, Wm. IjKOIiand.
Thero was something in tho tono of
this noto which gavo mo great uneasi
ness. Its wholo btylo differed material
ly from that of I.egrantl. What could
ho bo dreaming of? What now crotchet
possessed his excitable brain? What
"business of tho highest Importance"
could fie possibly havo to transact?
Jupiter's account of him boded 110 good.
I dreaded lost tho continued pressuro of
misfortune liad, ut length, fairly unset
tledktho reason of my friend. Without
a moment's hesitation, therefore, 1 pre
pared to accompany tho negro.
Upon reaching tho wlmrf, I noticed a
scytho and threo spades, all apparently
now, lying In tho bottom of tho boat In
which wo were to embark.
"What Is tho meaning of nil tills,
Jup ?" I inquired.
"Illtn syfo, mas?a, nud spade."
"Very true; but what aro they doing
hero?"
"Him do syfo and do spado what Mas
sa Will sis 11011 my btiyln' for him In do
town, and do debblls own lot of money
I had to gib for em."
"IUitwlint, In tho namoof nil that Is
mysterious, Is your 'Massa Will' going
to do with scythes nnd spodes?"
"Dat's nioro dan I know, nnd dcbbll
tako mo If I don't believo 'tis moro dan
lie know, too. Hut It's all cum ob do
bug."
rinding that no satisfaction wns to bo
obtained of Jupiter, whoso whole Intel
lect seemed to bo absorbed by "do bug,"
I now stopped Into tho boat and mado
sail. Wltli n fair nnd strong breczo wo
soon ran Into the littlocovo to tho north
wnrd of Fort Moultrie, and n walk of
ionic two miles brought us to tho hut.
It was about threo in tho afternoon
wIipii wo arrived. IiCgrnnd had been
awaiting us In eager expectation. Ho
grasped my hand with n nervous em
pressmcnt which nlarmcd 1110 and
strengthened tho suspicions already en
tertained. Ills countennnco was palo
even to gliastlincss, Ills deep-set eyes
glared with unnatural lustre. After
some inquiries respecting his health, I
asked hiin, not knowing what better to
say, if ho ha.d yet obtained tho scara
bam from Lieutenant O .
"Oli, yes," ho replied, coloring vio
lently, "I got it from him tho next
morning. Nothing should tempt mo to
part with that sewabmis. Do you
know that Jupiter Is quito right about
it?"
"In what way?" I asked, with a sad
foreiioding at heart.
'Tn supposing it to bo a bug of real
gold." Ho said tills with air of pro
found seriousness, and I felt inexpressi
bly shocked.
"Tills bug Is to mako my fortune,"
ho continued, with a triumphant smile,
"to reinstate mo In my family possess
ions. Is it any wonder, then, that I
prizolt? Sinco fortune has thought fit
to bestow it upon mo, I have only to use
it properly and I shall arrive at tho gold
of which it is tho Index. Jupiter,
bring mo that scarabrrus ."'
" What ! de bug, massa ? I'd rudder
not go for trubblo dat bug you must
git him for your own self. Hereupon
I.egrantl arose, with a grave and stntely
air, nnd brought 1110 tho beetlo from a
gloss caso In.whlch It was enclosed. It
was n beautiful scarabmtx, and, nt that
time, unknown to nnturalists.-rof courso
a great prize in n scientific point of
view. Thoro wero two round, black
spots near tho extremity of tho back,
and a long ono near tho other. Tho
scales wero oxceedlnly hard antl glossy,
with ail the appearance of burnished
gold. Tho weight of tho inect was
very remarkable, and taking nil things
into consideration, I could hardly blamo
Jupiter for his opinion respecting it;
but what to mako of Legrand's con
cordance with that opinion, I could
not, for tho life of mo, tell.
"I sent for you," said ho In a grandil
oquent tone, when I had completed my
examination of tho beetlo, "I sent for
you, that I might havo your counsel
and assistance In furthering tho views of
Fate and of tho bug"
"My dear I.egraiid," I cried, inter
rupting him, "you nro certainly unwell
and hail better tiso some littlo preeau
tions. You shall go to bed, nnd I will
remain with you a fow days, until you
get over this. You aro feverish and"
"Feci my pulse," said he.
I felt It, and, to tell the truth, found
not tho slightest Indication of fovor,
"Hut you may bo ill and yet havo no
fever. Allow 1110 this onco to prescrlbo
for you. In tho first place, go to bed
In tho next"
"You aro mistaken," ho Interposed.
"I am as well as I can expect to bo tin
tier tho excitement which I suffer. If
you really wish 1110 well, you will va
liovo tills oxcltQinent."
"And how 1s this to be done?"
"Very easily. Jupiter and myself
are going upon an expedition Into tho
hills, upon the main laud, and, in this
expedition, woshall need thould of somo
person In whonl wo can confide. ou
aro tho only ono wo can trust. Whetlp
er wo succeed or full, tho excitement
which yon now perceive in 1110 will bo
equally allayed.
I am anxious to nbligo you in nny
way," I replied; "but do you mean to
say that this Infernal beetlo has nny con
nection wltli your expedition Into tlto
hills?"
"It has."
"Then, Legrand, I can becomo a par
ty to no such nbsiinl proceeding."
"I nm sorry very sorry for we shall
havo to try It by ourselves."
"Try it by yourselves! The man is
surely mad 1 but stny ! how long tlo
you proposo to be abent?"
"Probably all night. Wo shall start
immediately, and bo back at all events,
by sunrlso?"
"And will you promlsome, upon your
honor, thnt when this freak of yours is
over, and tho bug business (good God !
settled to your satisfaction, you will
then return home nud follow my ndvico
implicitly, as that of your physician ?"
"Yes; I promise; and now let us be
off, for wo havo 110 tlmo to loose."
With u heavy heart 1 nceompanled
my friend. Wo started about 1 o'clock
I.egrantl, Jupiter, tho dog, antl my
self. Jupiter hnd with him tho scytho
and spittles. tho wholo of which ho in
sisted upon carrying nioro through
fear.lt seemed to me, of trusting either of
tho IninleiiicnH within icacli or his
mnstcr, than from nny excess of Indus
try or complaisance. His demeanor
was dogged In tho oxtrenio, nnd "dat
dliced hug" wero tho solo words which
escaped hlsllpsduringthojouriicy. For
my own part, I had charge of a couple
of dark lanterns, whllo I.cgrnnd con
tented himself Willi the cra4cr;Hs,vh!ch
ho carried attached lo tho end of n bit
of whip-cord; twirling it to antl fro,
with tho air of iv conjuror, as ho went.
hen I observed this last, plain evi
dence of my friend's aberration of mind,
I could scarcely refrain from tears. I
thought it best, however, to humor his
fancy, nt least for tho present, or until
I could adopt somo moro energetic mea
sures with a chanco of success. In tho
meantlmo I endeavored, but ali In vain,
to sound him In regard to tho object of
tho expedition. Having succeeded In
Inducing mo to accompany him. ho
seemed unwilling to hold conversation
upon nny topic of minor importance,
nnd to all my questions vouchsafed 110
other reply than "wo shall see I"
Wo crossed tho creek nt tho head of
tho island by means of a skiff, and, as
cending tho high grounds on tho shoro
of tho main land, proceeded in a north
westerly direction, through a tract of
country excessively wild and desolate,
whero 110 trace of human footsteps was
to bo seen. Legrand led tho way with
decision: pausing only for tin instant,
hero and there, toconsult whatnppcarcd
to bo certain landmarks of his own con
trivance upon a former occasion.
In this manner wo Journeyed for nbout
two hours, and the sun was just setting
when wo entered a region infinitely
more dreary than any yet seen. It was
a species of table land, near tho summit
of an almost inacccssablo hill, densely
wooded from base to pinnacle, and In
terspersed with huge crags that appeared
to lie loosely upon tho soil, and In ma
ny cases were prevented from precipi
tating themselves into tho valleys below
merely by tho support of tho trees
against which they reclined. Deep ra
vines, in various directions, gavo an
air of still sterner solemnity to tho
scone.
The natural platform to which ho
clambered was thickly overgrown with
brambles, through which wo soon dis
covered that it would have been impos-.
slbleto force our way but for tho scytho;
and Jupiter, by direction of his master,
proceeded to clear for us a path to tho
foot of an enormously talt tulip-tree,
which stood, wltli somo eight or ten
oaks, upon tho level, and far surpassed
them all, nnd nil tho other trees which
I had then overseen, iu tho beauty of
its foliage nnd form, in tlic wido spread
of its branches, and in tiio general ma
jesty of its appearance. When wo
reached this tree I.egrantl, turned to
Jupiter, and asked him if lie thought ho
could climb It. Tho old man seemed
a littlo staggered by tho question, and
for some moments niado no reply. At
length ho approached the huge trunk,
walked slowly around it, and examined
it with minute nttcntion. When ho
completed Ids scrutiny, ho merely said.
"Yes, massa' Jup climb any treo ho
ebersee in ho life."
"Then up wltli you us soon as possi
ble, for it will soon bo too dark to seo
what you nro about."
"How far mus go up, massa?" In
quired Jupiter.
"Get up tho main trunk first, and
then I will tell you which way to go
and here stop ! tako this beetle with
you."
"Debug Massa Willi degoolo bug!"
cried the negro, drawing bade in dis
may "what for mus toto do bug way
up do tree? golly if I do!"
"If you aro afraid, Jup, a great big
negro liko you, to tako hold of 11 harm
less littlo dead beetle, why you can car
ry it up by tho string but, if you do
not take it up with you somo way, I
shall bo under tho necessity of breaking
your head with this shovel."
to nr. IIINTIM'KII.
TOO MICH ELEVATION.
In tho recent gosslppy letter to tho
Territorial Jfiiterjirisc, Dan Do Qulllo,
writing from DownlevilloSlerra county,
gives tho following : "Otico upon a t lino"
on n certain Sunday, a certain doctor
living here, who liko tho mo-it reckless
of us occnalonallygetsforty drops within
lilni too muchund bcconiesnn Immuis'.ty
himself, was earnestly discoursing In tho
midst of u group of uccurlng iminen
itiesupon a grand project which ho hud
Just conceived. This great project wns
nothing less than digging a tunnel from
Downievilloto Forrest City distance ns
tho crow flies four miles. The party stood
in front of a saloon near tho end of
Duagan bridge. Whllo tho doctor. was
in tho midst of a speech sotting fortii tho
immense benefits to bo derived from
thoeaiiy completion of this grand enter
prise which was to tapall tho letuli and
from an excellent road between tho two
towns tho numster presuung at ono 01
tho churches lu tho town crossed tho
bridge on his way to church and eamo
up to tho group. Not noticing that tho
doctor was iiiueh Intoxicated, ho stop
ped mul listened n wnno to uio "granu
project." At length, taking nil vantage
ofn pause In tho doctor's eloquent np
peal in behalf of his darling schemo; ho
said: "Doctor, como wltli moand I will
show you a road much moro profitable !"
Tito doctor's bump of couibativeness
was at onco aroused, "What road is
Hint, sir? what what road is that?"
"Why, Doctor, tho road to Heaven!"
"Itoa'dto heaven! go along.it won't
do-won't do, sir; can't overcome tho
elevation!'1 Tho minister passed 011,
iiiu!ng.
WHY WOMEN CANNOT KNTKK MA
SONIC LODGES. I
When King Solomon was still ayoung
man ho had married his seventh wife.
Sho was a beautiful young Ainmonltcss,
with locks ns black as tho raven's wing,
nnd eyes ns bright as tho cuglo's. It
was bclloved that sho was tho favored
fair ono among all tho stiltannsof tho
Great King; for his affections wero not
divided then as they afterward became.
Sho know her power, and used ltunspar-
Ingly. In addition to hcrothcrqualitlcs,
sho wns as liiqulsltlvo as ever was n
woman 011 this earth.
Ono evening King Solomon attended
lodge, on somo grand occasion, nnd
stayed out somewhat late. When ho
returned home, ho found tho fair Ain
monltcss iu tho dumps, and pouting
Justns tho dear wives of Masons do some
times now when their loixlsstay out lato
nt tho Lot! sc. Sho upbraided him wltli
icglcctlng her, insinuated that ho hadn't
been to tho Lodgo ns ho pretended, and
Insisted that in future ho should glvo
proof that ho went there by having her
self initiated, so that sho might go thero
and wntch him.
" Daughter of Amnion," replied tho
King," thou hast behaved thyself as
ono of tho foolish women in presuming
to question thy lord nnd master. Thou
art not so nngry with mo as thou pre-
teudest to bo; for tho truo reason of
this bchavloris thy insatiable curiosity,
In which thou oxcollcst Evo herself.
Know then, thnt I here ordain that nei
ther thou, noranyof thy Inquisitive sex
after thoa shall ever enter tho portals of
a Masonic Lodgo ; but I shall enjoin tho
Tyler to picrco through with his drawn
sword nny woman that shall attempt to
enter a lodgo ; aye, even thee, Queen of
Israel though thou bo. And that ordi
nance of this widest of monarchs has
continued in forco until this tiny.
Wo hope, now, that wo have satisfied
tho curiosity of our fair readers as did
King Solomon that of his Queen.
HOW ABSURD.
Our forefathers of tho revolution wero
certainly great nsses when they incorpo
rated into tho Declaration of Indepen
dence, the following silly objections to
tho conduct of the King of Great Hrit
tain :
1. Keening in the colonics In tho tlmo
of pence standing armies.
2. ltendering the military independ
ent of, nnd superior to tho civil power.
il. imposing tuxes wiuioui allowing
representation.
4. Tho depriving the colonists of the
benefit of trial by jury.
(3. For suspending Colonial Legisla
tures.
(i. In inciting insurrection likely to
result in nn undistinguished destruc
tion of nil ages, sexes and conditions.
7. Abdicating iravcrnmcnt. by de
claring us out of tho mother country.
n. Quartering largo bodies 01 urmcu
troops on tho colonists.
!). Sending Into tho colonies swarms
of ofllcers to collect taxes nnd oppress
tho colonists.
in. Hefuslni.' to pass nroner laws for
largo districts of peoplo unless they
would relinquish tho rightof reprcsent
otion. 11. Obstructlncnnd interfering with
tho judiciary, thus denying justice.
12. Interfering with legislative bod
ies, and dissolving them for opposing
with manly firmncs Invasions of the
rights of tho people.
iu. protecting military oincers oy
mock trials, for offences wliich they
havo committed against tho colonists.
Thk Famous Juno !,r.n. Thoriiila-
dclphla Bulletin has n Now York corre
spondent who has seen the Japanaso ac
robats. Ho says :
"They nro small in stature, of a sal
low complexion, with high cheek-bones
antl almond-shaped eyes, and wear their
hair after tiio manner of thoso who ac
companied tho embassy to this country
in lPGf). Thero nro about twenty-four
in tlto troup, among them tlirco femnles
all of whom aro said to bo expertjug-glors-
They wear cotton clothes, with
wooden clogs for shoes. Their habits
nnd customs nro somewhat curious.
Their beds, of blue cotton cloth, stuffed
about as thick as chair cushions, nro
spread upon tho floor, and cacli ono rolls
hlm?elf up in his blanket tosult himself.
Upon tho walls of their apartments
hung a tin caso containing threo cards,
with Japancso characters on each, tho
wholo affair resembling 0110 of our per
peltial calendars, found lu almost every
counting room. Heforo this they fall
down antl worship, or nt least pay their
morning devotions, regularly. The
chinesojiigglers, I remember, carried
their gods along with them, but If there
is nny "Josh" nlong with tho Jnns, I
fulled to discover him. They nro ve.y
polite, much nioretoindecd, than their
American visitors,. They appear to bo
very clean, mid liko plenty of fresh air,
pcrsistlngln keeping tho windows open
though blilvering with cold in their cot
ton dresses. Tho first thing they, in
quired for. nfter landing Wtisa bathing
house."
At ono tlmo during tho war 11 largo
number of ofllcers wero stopping at the
various hotels in Washington, at tho
tlmo perhaps when seven brigadiers
wero hit by tho stono that missed tho
dog at which It was thrown In front of
Willnrd's. At that tlmo ono of theso
tenlblo youngsters was crying in front
of tho National "JUUxt IXcniug Slar,
third edition, another great battle," Ac.
An oflicor coming out just then, (a cap
tain,) tho bovacciits him with: "Colo
nel, have a Slnrt" They alwnys in
dulge iu tv littlo flattery of breveting
when occasion offers.) Tho ofllcer buys,
antl running his eves over tho paper
eagerly, calls out: "I lore, boy, I don't'
seo nny battle!" Getting beyond the
rnngo of tho ofticer's loot, ho replies:
"No, nor you never will, lounging
around this 'ere hotel !"
1MU0E FIVE CENTS.
Wit ana guinor.
"ANY ONK WILL DO."
A mnl'lcn once of certain agp,
To catch n husboml did engage)
lint hAVlng passed tho prime of Ufo
In striving to become n wife.
Without success, sho thought It tlmo
To mend the follies of her rrlme.
Depnrllng from tho usual course
Of point, nnd such like, for resource,
With nil her might, this nuclent maid,
llencnth nn onk tree knelt and prayed t
Unconscious that a grAvo old owl,
Wns perched nbovo the mousing fowl!
'Oh glvo n husband, glvo I" she cried,
"While yet I mny become a bride,
fcoon will my day of grace be o'er
And then, like many maids before,
I'll die without nn earthly love,
And none to meet luo there above I
"Oh I 'tis a fnto too hard lo bear ;
Then answer this, my humble prayer,'
And, oh I a husband glvo to me 1"
Just Ihen the owl up In the tree,
In deep bass tones, cried, " H'Aoo trftoo trhoo!"
"Who, Lord? And dost thou ask me u-hot
Why nny ono, gosd Lord, will do."
Cumoua Suicidi:. Somo tlmo sinco"
it was announced thatn man atTltus
vllle, committed sulcldo for tho strango
reason that ho had discovered that ho
was his own grandfather. Leaving a
dying statement explaining this singu
lar circumstance, wo will not attempt
to unravel it, but glvo his explanation
of the mixed up condition of his kins
folks in his own words. Ho says :
"I married a widow who had a grown
up daughter. My father visited our
house very often, fell in lovo with my
step-daughter and married her. So my
father becamo my son-in-law, and my
step-daughter my mother, becauso sho
was my father's wife. Somo tlmo af
terward my wife had a son ; he was my
father's brother-in-law and my uncle,
for ho was tho brother of my step-mother.
My father's wife I.e., my step
daughter had also a son ; ho was of
courso my brother.nnd In tho meantime
my grandchild, for ho was tho son of
my daughter. I was my wifo's husband
and grandchild at tho samo time. And
ns tlto husband of n person's grand
mother Is his own grandfather I was
my own grandfather."
That this was a strango condition of
tilings must bo confessed, but we can
seo no posslblo reason why it should
causo a man to commit suicide. Tilus
ville paper. '
Coffu: and Tea vs Whisky.
When Dr. Dodge, an electric physlcinn,
was lecturing through tho State on tho
evils of tea and coffee, ho happened to
meet, one mornlngat the breakfast tablo
a witty son of Krinof tho bcttct class.
Conversation rnrued lo tho doctor's
favorite subject, and ho addressed our
friend ns follows:
"Well," oald thodoclor, "if 1 convince
on that they aro injurious toyourlicalth
will you abstain from their use?"
"Sure, and I will, sir."
"How often doyou usocoffoo and lea?'
asked tho doctor.
"Night and morning sir."
"Well," said tlto doctor, "do you over
experience a slight dizziness of tiio brain
upon going to bed ?"
"I do.lndeed I do," replied Erin.
"And n sharp pain through tho tem
ples, In nnd nbout tho eyes in tho
morning?"
"Troth, I do so."
"Well," said tho doctor, with .in nlrof
conflilenco and assurance In his manner,
that Is tho tea and coffee."
"Is It, Indeed? Faith, nnd I always
thought was tho whisky I drank."
Tho company roared with laughter,
and tho doctor quietly retired.
English vs. Latin. Onco upon a
timo a company wero assembled nt a
dlnner-tnblo down in Georgia, when tho
conversation turned upon tho compari-
tivo merits of tho English and Latin
languages. A Latinlst led off In enthusi
astic eulogies upon tho power nnd ver
satility 01 111s iavorno language, anil
adduced in illustration tho celebrated
dispatch of Ctcsar: "Vent: Villi! Vicii"
"wnat," sam lie, "can equal tno con
densed brovity and forco of that?" A
guest who had hitherto remained silent,
nere joined in tno conversation, ami sain
ho could match It with something more.
As I was Hearing 11 certain river 1110
other day. ho went on toobservo, I met
a country girl witn a piato 01 ircsn uui
tcr on her head, who was on her way to
market witn it 10 tno viuago, nuu wno
liadjust forded thostream 1 had to cross.
Accosung ner, 1 inquired, -now nigii
Is tho river, nnd whnt is tho prico of
butter?" Sho instantly replied, "To
my waist, nnd a shilling 1" Tho roar
that greeted tills Indicated a popular
vote, and tho Latlnist subsided.
A Wi:i)i)iNO Fin:. "Many nnd many
n vear ago," how many deponent saltli
not, n youthful couple nppenrod at tho
gateway of a pnrsonngo of a town not a
hundred miles from harvard. Mounted
on n soiier nag, they also claimed com
panionship witli a bag, evidently tilled
with somo valuable commodity. Dis
mounting, tho gallant youth left Ids lady
ami tho nag. and proceeded up tho ave
nue of elms leading to tho pastor's door,
anil entered the mansion. Soon reap
pearing, ho waived his hnnd to tho
wnlting damsel, nt tho samo tlmo call
ing, in stentorian tones, "Come nlong,
ho says ho will tako beans!" auldlng
tho steer to the door, tho lady wns re
ceived by her would-bo lord, nnd soon
"tho twain wero mado ono flesh," and'
tho minister was left lu possession of a
goodly supply of beans,
A witty clergyman had been lec
turlngono oveiilng in a country village,
on tho subject of tcinporttiico, nud as
usual, after tho lecture the pledgo was
passed around for signatures.
"I'ass it along that way," said tho
lecturer, pointing to n gang of bloated
ami red nosed loafers near tho door.
"I'lf-s It nlong perhaps somo of thoco
persons would liko to join our cause."
"Wo dou.t bito a bare hook," grullly
muttered out) of tho rummies.
"Well," replied tho clergyman,"!
believo thero is a kind or llsh called
suckers, that do not bite,"
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