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ces of every kind, anil all Orphans' Court and
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lished in both papers. Editorial Notices 16 eents
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A liberal discount made to y early advertisers.
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attention of Post Masters and subscribers to the
Ixuuisxa to the following synopsis of the News
paper lawa:
1. A Postmaster is required to give notice &y
•Cffsr, (re a rnitg a paper does not answer the law}
when a subscriber dues not take bis paper out of
the office, and state the reasons tor its not being
taken; and a neglect to do so makes the Postmas
ter repcottiU* to the publishers for the payment.
2. Any person who takes a paper from the Post
office, whether directed to bis name or another or
whether he has subscribed or not is responsible
for the pay.
3. If a person orders his paper discontinued, he
must pay all arrearages, or the pnbii.her may
continue to send it until payment is made, and
oliect the whole amount, whether it tm taken from
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uence un'il the payment is made.
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stopped at a certain time, and the publisher con
tinues to send, the subscriber is boond to pay for
it, if ke takes it out of the Poet Office. The law
proceeds upon the ground that a man must pay
for what be uses.
6. The courts have decided that refusing to taks
newspapers and period : cals from the Pott office,
or removing and having them uncalled for, is
prima facia evidence of intentional fraud.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
J M.REYNOLDS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BEDROBD. PA.
AH business intrusted to him will be attended to
with irreat care. Upon notice will appear for par
tit - IJ -u its before Just.CE* of the Peace in any
part of the county. Office with J. W. Dickerson,
KIQ.Y on Juliana St.* next door north of Mengei
House. 4marly.
W C7"HOL A HAN ,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAWJ
RECORD, PA.
Jan. 28, 70-tf
... H. SPAXG A. SING, Jr.
CPANG & KING,
O ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW,
BE Pro no, PA.
Will promptly attend to all business intrusted to
their care in Bedfurd and adjoining counties.
Office in Gazette building, on the corner of pub
lic Square aod Juliana street. Sap
niMELL AND LINGENFELTEK,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW, >KDFOBI>, PA.
Have formed a partnership in the practice of
the Law, in new brick building near the Lutheran
Church. [April 1, 1869-tf
yj. A. POINTB,
ATTORNEY' AT LAW, BXDPOBC, PA.
Respectfully tenders his professional services
to the public. Office in the Ixqoi REBuilding,
second floor.)
jar Collections promptly made. [April,l'6#-tf.
I*3 SPY M. ALSIP,
Mi ATTORNEY AT LAW, and Justice of the
Peace, BuDroRD, PA.,
Will faithfully and promptly attend to all busi
ness entrusted to his care in Bedford and adjoin
ing counties. Military claims, Pensions, back
pay, Bounty, Ac. speedily collected. Office in
room on Juliana Street lately occupied by Reed
A Schell Bankers. apl 1, 1869.—tf.
7 B DURBORROW.
•' • ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BEDFORD, PA.,
Will promptly attend to all business intrusted to
his care in Bedford and adjoining Counties.
Office on Juliana street in the building occu
pied for many years by King A JordaD, and late
!y by Ball A Keagy.
S. L. RCSSELL. J. H. LOXBEXECKEB
RUSSELL A LONGF.NECKER,
ATTORSETS A COUNSELLORS AT LAW,
Bedford, Pa.,
Will attend promptly and faithfully to all busi
ness entrusted to their care. Special attention
given to collections and the prosecution of claims
for Back Pay, Bounty, Pensions, Ac.
®SrOSice on Juliana street, south of the Court
House. Apri 1:69: lyr.
J* X'D. SHARPS E. E. KERR
SICARPE A KERII,
A TTORFE YS-A T-LA W.
Will practice in the Courts of Bedford and ad
joining counties. All business entrusted to them
care will receive careful and prompt attention.
Pensions, Bounty, Bach Pay, Ac., speedily col
lected from the Government.
Office on Juliana street, opposite the banking
honse of Keed A Schell. Bedford, Pa. Apr J;69:tf
PHYSICIANS.
jyR. B. F. HARRY,
Respectfully tenders his professional ser
vices to the citizens of Bedford and vicinity.
Office an i residence on Pitt Street, in the building
formerly occupied by Dr. J. H. Hoflus. [Ap'l 1,69.
MISCELLANEOUS.
I ACOB BRENNEMAN,
tl WOODBERRY, PA.,
SCRIVENER, CONVEYANCER, LICENSED
CLAIM AGENT, and Ex-Officio JUSTICE
OF THE PEACE,
W ill attend ta all bnsiness entrusted into his hands
with promptness and despatch. Will remit mon
ey by draft u any part of the country. 17sely
DANIEL BORDER,
PITT STRXET, TWO DOORS WEST or THE BED- .
FORD HOTEL, BEIFORD, PA.
WATCHMAKER AND DEALER IN JEWEL
RY*. SPECTACLES. AC.
He keeps on hand a stock of fine Gold and Sil
ver Watches, Spectacles of Brilliant Double Refin
ed Glasses, al.-o Scotch Pebble Glasses. Gold
Watch Chains, Breast Pins, Finger Rings, best
quality of Gold Pens. He will supply to order
any thing in hit line not on hand. [apr.2B,'66.
J) R J. ROSS ANDERSON,
Respectfully tenders his professional services to
the citizens of Bedford and vicinity.
Office three doors East of the Bedford House.
EsS" Night calls attended tc with promptness.
April 8, 1870-tf
R N. HICK OK R
V/. DENTIST.
Office A-t the old stand in
!U*K BUILDING, Julian* *t., BEDFORD.
All operations pertaining to
Surgical and Mechanical Dentistry
performed with care and
WARRANTED.
A hcik ft ice administer ed, when desired. Ar
tificial teeth inserted at, per set, $8.01) ind up.
teard.
As T am deteitsined to do a CASH BUSINESS
or nunc, I have reduced the prices for Artificial
Teeth of the various kinds. 26 per cent., and of
Gold Fillings 33 per cent. This reduction will be
made only to strictly Cash Patients, and all such
will receive prompt attention. 7feb6B
w M LLOYD
> f . BANKER.
Transacts a General Banking Business, and makes
collections on all accessible points in
the United States.
GOVERNMENT SECURITIES. GOLD, SIL
VER. STERLING nod CONTINENTAL
EXCHANGE bought and sold.
I. S. REVENUE STAMPS of ail descriptions
always oo hand.
Accounts of Merchants, Mechanics, Farmers and
all other solicited.
INTEREST ALLOWED ON TIME DEPOSITS.
Jan. 7, '76.
MARRIAGE CERTIFCATES.— On hand and
fur sale at the Inquirer office, a fins assort
ment of Marriage Cartifieatee. Clergymen and
u asUoas should have them.
S3b t ffiedfotb 3fnmuver.
LUTZ & JORDAN. Editors and Proprietors.
,#quiw itoluma.
rpO ADVERTISERS:
THE BEDFORD INQUIRER.
PUBLISHED
EVERY FRIDAY MORNING,
BT
LUTZ & JORDAN,
OFFICE ON JULIANA STREET,
BEDFORD, PA.
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IK
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JOB PRINTING:
ALL KINDS OF JOB WORK DONE
WITH
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AND IN THE
LATEST & MOST APPROVED STYLE,
BUCHAS
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DUTZ A JORDAN.
& iLocal anli (Srnrral IflcUisyaper, Drbotrti to politics, education, Hitcrature aitfi Jftorals.
WHAT MAKES A MAN
Not numerous years, nor lengthened life,
Not pretty children and a wife,
Not pins and chains and fancy rings.
Nor any such like trumpery things,
Not pipe, cigar, nor bottled wine,
Nor liberty with kings to dine;
Nor coat, nor boots, nor yet a bat,
Nor dandy vest, a trim cravat:
Not Mister, Rev'rend. Sir, nor "Squire,
With titles that the memory tire;
Not ancestry traced back to Will,
Who went from Normandy to kill;
Not Latin, Greek, nor Hebrew lore.
Nor thousand volumes rambled o'er.
Not Judge's robe nor Mayor's mace,
Nor crowds that deck the royal race;
These all united, never can
Avail to make a single man.
A truthful soul, a loving mind,
Full of affection for its kind;
A helper of the human race,
A soul of beauty and of geaoc.
A spirit firm, erect aud free,
That never basely bends the knee;
That will not bear a feather's weight
Of slavery's chain, for small or great;
That truly speaks of God wiibin,
And never makes a league with sin
That snaps the fetters despots make,
And loves the truth for its own sake;
That worships God and Him alone;
That trembles at no tyrant's nod—
A soul that fears no one but God,
And thus can smile at curse and ban;
That is the soul that makes a man.
REST.
MY C. F. BATES.
Inside thy hand lieth mine,
And my cheek is touching thiuc;
On thy shoulder is my head,
And no syllable is said.
Then flies Rest into my heart,
Stir thou not lest she should start;
Let me hear the lulling song
Of gentle bird away so long.
Keep me folded thus to thee.
Let thy breath a language be,
Yet nor speak nor stir, I pray,
Lest white-bird Rest should fly away !
Galaxy for May.
SABBATH KEEPING ILLUSTRATED
IN ENGLAND.
A NARRATIVE FOUNDED ON FACTS, BY MRS. ''
STOWE.
PUBLISHED BY RxqCF.-T.
On a lonely, calm, sixth day, evening, in
the seventh month, a robust, healthy-look- j
ing man, having the appearance of a farm- j
er might have been seen wending his way
to a neat farm house, situate in one of the
rich aud beautiful rallies of Gloucestershire.
For a moment he hesitated at the doorstep, j
as the sound of voices engaged in singing
struck his ear ; he paused, while with clear
and joyful notes was sung the soul reviving ;
hymn:
"Sweet to the soul the parting ray.
lhat ushers placid evening in.
When with the still expiring day,
The Sabbath's peaceful hours begin :
How grateful to the anxious breast,
The sacred hours of holy rest
Our friend waited a few moments ; and :
theD, finding all silent, ventured to rap at !
the door. It was opened by a man in the
prime of life, who extended his hand, and
shaking his visitor's with a hearty good
wiil, invited him to be seated. The family
into which we are now introduced, consists
of TV illiam Davis, his wife, aud three chil
dreu. Everything in the house wore an
appearance of comfort and cleanliness. The
day's work is finished; the sturdy farmer is
; sitting at a well polished walnut table, on
which lie a large family Bible and hymn
book, and all seem happy and contented, i
We must now inquire on what errand our
friend has come, who is welcomed so hearti- j
ly into this cheerful family. He had re
cently taken a farm about half a mile from
farmer Davis; and having received a visit j
from him, he came, afier the business of j
the day, to return the call.
Our friend, whom we shaii name Samuel
Smith, having made himself acquaimed
with each member of the family, inquired
I of farmer Davis if he bad any objection to
1 show him the hymn which had been so
sweetly sung. Davis complied, remarking,
' "Friend Smith, perhaps you are not aware
| that, DOW that the sun has gone down, the
I Sabbath has commenced. We always be
gin with siDging a hymn suitable to the
holy time: and after reading a portion of
j God's word, we commend ourselves in pray
j er to our Almighty Father, beseeching His
; aid and blessing during the sacred season.''
SMITH. —My friend, yoa surprise me,
i Sunday is the Sabbath, I never heard of
1 any other among christians.
DAVIS. —But God's Word says. "7%e
seventh day is the Sabbath." llow then
; can you call the first day, or Sunday "the
: Sabbath ?"
SMlTH. —Because Christ changed the Sab
i bath from the seventh day to the first.
DAVlS. —Pardon me, my friend, where do
you find t bat ?
SMITH. —Well, it does say so, in as maDy
; words, in the Bible; but the Apostles kept
Sunday, and commanded the Christians to
observe it too.
DAVIS. —You come to too hasty a conclu
sion upon the matter. Ido not know one
passage in the Bible that teaches any such
thing; and I am quite willing to hear any
arguments you may bring forth in favor of
it.
SMITH.— I must confess, my good friend,
I am not able to dispute this subject with
you. Ido not know much about it. Our
clergy say, that Christ changed the Sabbath;
and it does not signify to me which day I
keep. One day in seven is all that is re
quired; indeed, I never before heard the
sanctity of Sunday questioned by any body.
DAVIS. —My friend, I do not like to hear
a good man talk thus; for, if God hascorn
i manded we must obey. He does not say,
one day is seven; but, "The Seventh day is
: the Sabbath, of the Lord thy God."
: This command you respect every Sun
day, askiog God to incline your heart
'to keep this law. If you will allow
■ me, I sbink I ean convince you that Christ
did not change the day, but that both He
' and His disciples kept "the Sabbath-day ac
cording to the commandment." {Luke 23,
56.) Hear then a few of my reasons.
1. —There is no mention of such a change
in the Gospel There b only a presump
tion that, because Christ appeared to the
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 29- 1870.
eleven diseiples once on the first day, when
they were "gathered together" tLuke 24,
32,] though it is well known that some of
the disciples made a long journey on that
day. If our Lord intended to change ihe
Sabbath, he would not have left the matter
doubtful, but would have given as eliar a
command for the abrogation or AS
the one which enjoins the Sevenlt Day
On the contrary, He said, ; Think MT that
I am come to destroy the law or the proph
ets; 1 am not come to destroy, but to fulfil." j
(Mat. 5 ; 27.]
2. — It was the custom of the disciples, as
well as that of the Lord, to worship in the
, synagogue of the Jews on the Sabbath; and,
should any one say that that they went
merely for the opportunity of preaching the
Gospel to the Jews, what shall be said of
their desiring the Gentiles at Antiocb, to ■
assemble the next Sabbath day to hear their
doctrine? If Paul and Barnabas had known '
of the supposed change, they would have i
said, To-morrow is the Christian Sabbath, j
we will then instruct you gentiles. Where
there was no synagogue, they went out to a I
place of prayer by the river-side, on the :
Sabbath, with Lydia. and her company, who :
were either Jews, or Gentile proselytes.
3. —There is only one passage in the Aefs '
of the Apostles, claimed by the advocates if
the first day of the week in support of their I
practice; but that passage, if carefully con i
sidered, is found to consist only with ths !
religious observance of the Seventh daj ;
Sabbath. The true reason for the celelra j
ted meeting at Troas seems to have been j
that, as the christians there, were desirous |
of having the apostle Paul's mioistratiocs j
continued as long as possible, they pro- j
loDgcd the Sabbath until the first day of the j
week commenced, (which begins, as I have i
before explained to you, when the sun goes
down after the seventh day, or Saturday i
evening,) and continued their religious ex
ercises until midnight, and even until the
break of day. If you will then turn to the
narrative in your English Bible, (Acta 20,
7,) you will find that the word "day" is put j
in italics, (meaning that no such word is ex
pressed in the original Greek;) supply the
word "night" instead of "day" and an ex
planation will be obtained, which makes the j
practice of these Christians consistent with
their recorded actions on other occasions.
This reckoning of time must be true; because 1
it goes ou to say that the Apostles went on '
their journey forth with, as Paul had deter j
mined over night, to go "on the morrow:'' i
and it is said that he went on foot, while i
Lis companions went by water to meet
him at Assos. Such journeying is utterly I
inconsistent with the idea that the first day
of the week was considered or kept as a Sab-'
bath.
4. —The Apostle Paul moreover directed ;
the Corinthians (1, Cor. 1, 2,) to attend to j
their pecuniary affairs on the first "day" of;
the week, and to lay by their savings at
home; this also is totally inconsistent with
the religious occupation of the Sabbath.
My dear friend, believe me, this Sunday
keepiog is not founded on scriptures, it is
a remnant of popery, a tradition of the j
dark ages, with which true protestaDts must
have nothing to do.
SMITH. —I never heard the matter put in
this light before. This is ail new to me ; I
must think upor. what you have said and
talk to our clergy man on the subject.
DAVIS. —My friend, confer not with fle-h
and blood, but take the Bible, and examine
for yourself, and may the Lord direct yon
in the examination cf this subject. l\r-!
haps you will have no objection to join with
us the remainder of our Sabbath evening
exercises.
SMITH.— Not at all; not at all. Goon.
But there is ooe question that I wish to a-k
first: —Why do you commence your Sabbath
over night ?
DAVIS.—I will answer you in the words
of the Bible. "From even unto even shall
ye celebrate your Sabbath.'' (.Lev. 23, 3-.)
And we learn from the account of the crea
tion, that "the evening and morning we-e
the first day." (not the morning and the
and so on with the rest. (Gen. 1, j
| 5, 8, 13, &c.
Farmer Smith returned home that night,
filled with a determination to search the
i scriptures, and know for himself "whether
these things were so," or not. (Acts 17,
11.) We must now iollow our worthy family
in their Sabbath dnties. After a simple
meal, tbey retired early to rest, that they
might arise betimes in the morning, to at
tend the necessary duties of the farm, be
; fore the time of public worship. The light
'of Sabbath morn has dawned upon the
earth; "the unwearied sun" displaying the
j glories of its Maker, has arisen in all its
wondrous beauty in tneeastern horizon, and
i the feathered throng are hymning forth
praises to their Creator;—when man, re
freshed with sleep, arises, and pours forth
his gratitude to his merciful Father, and
ever watchful fiienJ. Such was the morn
ing, and such was the feeling of Farmer
Davis and his family, when they assembled
for family prayer, before partaking of their
I early meal. The cows, having been milked,
; were let out of the baru yard, and, with a
| few gentle words from their master, they
quietly walked to an adjoining field, glad
j again to breath the open air, and almost
seeming to participate in the feelings of the
I farmer, who, being led from Nature, up to
I Nature's God; could sing,—
Thy bountiful care, what tongue can recite ?
It breathes in the air, it shines in the light;
It streams from the hills, it descends to the
plain,
And sweetly distils in the dew and the rain.
All necessary cares are finished, wo find
the family, half an hour before the time of
public worship, direct their steps across the
fields to a retired spot, where stands an
ancient Meeting house, part of a farm
house, where the brethren arc assembling
to worship God on his holy day. Sweetly
and joyfully they commenced by singing the
well known hymn composed by Elder Jo
seph Stennott for the use of his brethren on
the seventh day, Sabbath though some
times applied to a different day,—
Another six days' work is done,
Another Sabbath is begun.
Return, my soul, enjoy thy rest,
Improve the day thy God hath blessed.
The voice of praise and the fervent pray
er ascend to heaven; and the disciples
realize the promise of the Saviour, that
where two or three are gathered together
in His name, He will be in the midst of
them. They find on earth a heaven,
and a fore-taste of the bliss of the eternal
Sabbath. There are also some friends
present, whose faces gladden the hearts of
♦he brethren; they are the Minister of a
London Sabbath-keeping Congregation and.
his wife. He is invited to preach in the
afternoon, with which request, though in
! il. health, he complies; and addresses them
I from the following words; —"Epaphras,
; who is one ol you, saluteth you; always la
j boring fervently for you in prayers, that ye
may stand perfect and complete in ail the
will of God." (Cor. 4, 12.) After the
usual worship, consisting of prayers,
hymns, reading, exposition, and sermon, a
benediction is pronounced, and the meeting
is at an end.
Continue, faithful band, to bear your
testimony to God's holy Sabbath, while ye
live, and at last be ye recieved into the
"Sabbatism" which "remaineth for the
people of God." And now, dear rcadear,
one word to you in conclusion. Tf, aftei
reading this sketch, you feel that this is the
right way of keeping God's commandments,
and that the friends, now introduced to
your notice, have kept tbe true Sabbath.
"Go and do likewise." But, should you
not be convinced, I entreat you to take your
Bible, cast away all prcconeieved opinions,
and prayerfully, and with an impartial eye,
search the scripture*.
'lt will be observed that this is an argu
ment in favor of the Jewi-h Sabbath or
Seventh day cf the week (Saturday) as it
is now kept by the class of people known
as "Seventh day Baptists." Those who
have any doubts upon the subject and wish
to investigate it will find the reasons for the
observance of the Christain Sabbath is
"GilfiiHan on the Sabbath," published bv
the American tract society. In the third
chapter this question is fully discussed and
abundant and satisfactory proofs of tbe
change given from both the Old and New
Testaments. (Ed.)
A MYSTERIOUS VISIT.
Mark Twain's Interview With the Uni
ted States Assessor.
Fron the Buffalo Express.
Ihe first notice that was taken of me
when I "settled down," recently, was by a
gentleman who said he was an assessor, and
connected with the I . S. Internal Revenue
Department. I said I had never heard of
his branch of business before, but I was very
glad to see him, all the same—would he sit
down ? He sat down. I did not know any
thing particular to say, and yet I felt that
people who have arrived at the dignity of
keeping house must be conversational, must
be easy and sociable in company. So in
default of anything else to say, I asked him
if he was opening his shop in our neighbor
hood.
He said he was. (I did not wish to ap
peal ignorant, but 1 had hoped he would
mention what he had for sale. J
I ventured to ask him "how was trade?"
and he said "So so."
I then said we would drop in, and if we
liked his house as well as any other, we j
would give him our custom.
He said he thought wt would like his es
tablishment well enough to confine ourselves
to it—said he never saw anybody who would j
go off and hunt up another man in his line I
after trading with him once.
That sounded pretty complacent, but j
barring that natural expression of villainy
which we all have, the man looked honest j
enough.
I do not know how it came about, exact
ly, but gradually we appeared to melt doWD
and run together, conversationally speaking,
and then everything went along as comfort |
ably as clockwork.
We talked, and talked, and talked—at j
least I did. And we laughed, and laughed, j
and laughed— at least he did. But all the I
time, I had my presence of mind about me
—I had my native shrewdness turned on
"full head," as the engineers say. I was ;
determined to find all about his business, in i
spite of bis obscure answers —end I was de- i
tcrmined I would have it out of him with
out bis suspecting what I was at. I meant
to trap him with a deep, deep ruse. I
would tell him all about my business, and
he would naturally so warm to me during
this seductive hurst of confidence that be i
would forget himself and tell me ail about
bis affairs before he suspected what I was
about. I thought to myseif, My son, you
little know what an old fox you ere dealing
with. I said:
"Now you never could guess what I made
lecturing, this winter and last Spring?"
"No —don't believe I could to save me.
i Let me see— let me see. About two thous
and dollars maybe? But no—no, sir; I
know you couldn't have made that much.
Say seventeen hundred, maybe?"
"Ha ha 1 I knew you couldn't My lec
turing receipts for last Spring and this Win
ter were fourteen thousand seven hundred
and fifty doHars—what do you think of
that.
"Why it is amazing—perfectly amazing.
| I will make a note of it. And you say even
; this wasn't all?"
"AH? Why bless you there was my in
! come from the Buffalo Express for four
months —about—about —well, what should
you say to about eight thousand dollars, for
| instance?"
"Say ! Why I should say I should like to
' see myself rolling iu just such another ocean
of influence. Eight thousand ! I'll make a
! note of it. Why, man ! —and on top of all
' this I am to understand that you had still
I more income?"
"Ha-ha ha! Why, you're only iu the |
suburbs of it. so to speak. "There's my j
book, "The Innocents Abroad"—price $3- j
50 lo $5, according to the binding. Listen j
to me. Look me in the eye. During the j
last four months and a half, saying nothing i
of sa'es before that—but just simply duriug j
the four months and a half ending March :
15, 1870, we've sold ninety five thousand
copies of that book ! Ninety-five thousand I
Think of it. Average four dollars a copy,
It's nearty $400,000, my son. I get half!"
"The suffering Moses! I'll set that down
Fourteeu-seven fifty—eight—two hundred.
Total, say —well. n|>on my word, the grand
total is about two hundred and thirteen or
fourteen thousand dollars. Is that possi
ble?"
'Possible! If there s any mistake it's the
other way. Two hundred and fourteen
thousand, cash, is my income for this year
if I know how to cipher."
Then the gentleman got up to go. It
came over me most uncomfortably that may
he I had made my revelations for nothing,
besides being flattered into stretching them
considerably by the stranger's astonished
exclamations. But no; at the fast moment
the gentleman handed me a large envelope
and said it contained his advertisement;
and that I would find out all about his busi
ness in it; and that he would be happy to
have my custom —would in fact be proud to
have the custom of a man of such prodigous
income; and that he used to think there
wera several wealthy men iu Buffalo, but
when they come to trade with hita he dis
covered that they barely bad enough to live
on; aud that in truth it had been such a
weary, weary age since he had seen a rich
man face to say, and talk with him, and
touch him with his hands, that he could
hardly refrain from embracing me — in fact,
would esteem it a great favor if I would let
him embrace me.
This so pleased me that I did not try to
resist, but allowed this simple hearted
stranger to throw his arms about me and
weep a few tranquilizing tears down the
back of my neck. Then be went his way.
As soon as he was gone, I opened his
advertisement. I studied it attentively for
four minutes. I then called up to the cook
and said:
"Hold me while I faint. Let Maria turn
the batter cakes."
Bye and bye, when I came to, I sent down
to the rum mill on the corner and hired an
artist by the week to sit up nights and curse
that stranger, and give me a lift occasional
ly in the day time when I came to a hard
place.
Ah, what a miscreant he was ? His "ad
vertit-eroent" was nothing in the world bat
a wicked tax return—a string of imperti
nent questions about my private affairs oc
cupying tbe best part of four foolscap pages
of fine print—questions. I may remark, got
ten up with such ingenuity that the oldest
man in the world couldn't understand what
the most of them were driving at —ques-
tions, too, that were calculated to make a
man report about four times his actual in
come to keep from swearing to a lie. I
looked for a loophole, but there did not ap
pear to be any. Inquiry No. I covered my
case, as generously and as amply as an um
brella could cover an ant hill:
"What were your profits, in 1869, from
any trade, business or vocation, wherever
carried on?"
And that inquiry was backed up by thir
teen others of an equally searching nature
the most, modest of which required intorma
lion as to whether I had committed an;
burglary, or highway robbery, or by an;
arson or other secret source of emolument
had acquired property which was not enu
raerated in my statement of income as se
opposite to inquiry No. 1.
It was plain that that stranger had en
abled me to make an ass of myself. It wa:
very plain, and I went out and hired anothei
artist. By working on my vanity tb<
stranger had seduced me in-to declaring at
income of $214,000. By law, SIOOO of thii
was exempt from income tax— the only re
lief I could see, and it was only a drop it
the ocean. At the legal live per cent, 1
must pay over to the government the ap
palling sum of ten thousand six hundred
and fifty dollars, income tax.
1 may remark, in this place, that 1 did
not do it. j
1 am acquainted with a very opulent mac
whose bouse is a palace, whose table is re
gal, whose outlays are enormous, yet a mac
who has no income, as I have often noticed,
by the revenue returns; and to bim I went
for advice, in my distress. He took tnj
dreadful exhibition of receipts, he put ot
hio glasses, he took his pen, and presto!—l
was a pauper! It was the neatest thing thai
ever was. lie did it simply by deftly
manipulating the bill of "PEDCCTIONS."
He set down my "State, national and
municipal taxes" at so much; my "losses by
>hipwreck, fire, etc.," at so much; ray
'losses on sales of real estate" —on "live
stock sold"—on "payments for rent of
homestead"—on 'repairs, improvements,
interest"—on "previously taxed salary as
an officer of the United States army, navy,
revenue service," and otkci things, ne got
astonishing "'deductions" out of each and
every one of these matters—each and every
one of them. And when he was done he
handed mc the paper, and I saw at a glance
that during the year 1869 my income, in the
way of profits, bad been one thousand two
hundred and fifty dollars and forty cents.
"Now," said he, "the thousand dollars
is exempt by law. What you want to do is
to go and swear this document in and pay
I tax on the two huudred and fifty dollars."
(While he was makiug this speech his
little boy Willie lifted a two dollar greenback
out of his vest pocket aud vanquished with
it, and I would bet anything that if my
stranger were to call on that little hoy to
morrow he would make a false return of his
j income.]
"Do you," said I, "do you always work
up the "deductions" after this fashion in
your own case, sir?"
Well, I should say so! If it warn't for
; those eleven saving clauses under the head
I of "Deductions" I should be beggared
I every year to support this hateful and wick
ed, this extortionate and tyrannical gov
ernment."
This gentleman stands away up among
the very best of the solid men of Buffalo—
the men of moral weight, of commercial in
tegrity, of unimpeachable social sj>otlessness
—and so I bowed to bis example. I went
down to the revenue office, and under the
' accusing eyes of my old viritor I stood up
. and swore to lie after lie, fraud after fraud,
j villainy after villainy, till my immortal soul
was coated inches and inches thick with
| perjury and my self respect was gone for
■ ever and ever.
But what of it ? It is nothing more than
thousands of the highest, and richest, and
1 proudest, and most respected, honored and
j courted men in America do every year.
; And so I don't care. lam not ashamed. I
shall simply, for the present, talk little and
wear fine-proof gloves, lest I fall into cer
tain habits irrevocably.
MARK TWAIN.
FEMALE BEAUTY.—The man who does
not admire beauty in woman is not properly
constituted. His heart cannot be in the
right place. For ourselves, we often time
our walks so as to meet the troops of young
girbi on their way to or from school. The
sight of them does us good. The clear com -
plexions. bright eyes, red lips, indicate
health and happiness. No cosmetics there!
They have not yet arrived at that stage.
The powerful beauty may be more distingue
than the yonng girl whose cheeks are pain
ted by nature, but she lacks the ineffable
charm of freshness which men find so fascin
i ating. In our opinion no lady adds to her
I beauty by the use of cosmetics. She may
t make herself more brillinant, bat the clear
; rich blood that comes and goes in the cheeks
; of the rustic beauty is infinitely preferable!
. We know that the weary belle is strongly
o tempted the day after a ball when 6he ex
o pects her gentleman friends to call, to bor
s row the bloom, dissipation has robbed her
e ( of. Let her be natural, and she will please
II all who arc worth pleasing.
VOL. 43: NO 17.
TALKS WITII GIRLS.
BY AUNT HELEN.
"Standing with reluctant feet,
Where the brook and river meet-
Womanhood and childhood fleet.''
There are many varieties of girls, such as
town girls and country girls; sensible girls
and silly girls; grown up girls and young
girls; but we wiil talk to day with the sweet
sixteen girls, those who wilj soon be youug
ladies, bat have never owned "a trail or
been entirely free to wear just whichever
dress they choose, without consulting their
mother; those who swing on the gate awhile
when a young gentleman walks home with
them, aud who arc much perplexed to know
whether it is proper to ask him to RAIL again;
or to thank him when he invites them to go
to a concert; or to shake hands with him
when he comes into the parlor, and when
he leaves it: girls who think a great deal,
chiefly about the size of their chignons, and
the rosetes on their shoes, whose feather
costs the roost money, whote dress has the
greatest number of ruffles, who wears the
"most splendid" sash and whom tbe tallest
"Academy boy" took home from the last
party.
Now, since we have it settled whom I am
talking to, I will go on and tell you what an
old bachelor told me, about some of you.
Said he : 'Now there is a great deal of talk
about the coming teaman, and what she WIL'
be, but the shortest way to settle the ques
tion, to my mind, is to study the girls of
the period."
"The girls of the period!" I exclaimed,
"arc just the prettiest, sweetest, brightest,
creatures in the world."
"Ah ! yes, madam," he said, but how
do they gossip and talk sometimes. Three
of them sat on a porch under my window,
a few evenings ago. and what I can remem
ber of their conversations was like this :
No. 1. "'Did you hear, girls, that Dr.
L was obliged to leave towD? Tbej
say if be had stayed a day long'-r he would
have beeu arrested for debt"
No. 2. "Well, I am not surprised at that,
for mamma says such an extravagant wife
as he has would ruin any man. Why she
keeps three servants all the time and nevet
goes near the kitchen herself, and has a din
ner or supper party nearly every wtek, and
they use forty pounds of butter in a month,
and Mrs. Wilson told mamma that Mrs. I
's dress-making bill alone was one
hundred dollars last year."
No. 3. "Well, Mrs. Wilson needn't talk,
for she nearly starves her old mother to
death, and don't give her any fire these cold
days, and she subscribed only fifty cents to
the Missionary society last Sunday, aod is
as close in her family as she can be. Mrs.
Kent was in there one evening and told
what they had for tea."
No. 2. ' Well, as for Mrs. Kent, she is as
high tempered as she can be, and a scold
and a real slattern; but everybody has his
faults; if she don't go to church and mis
treats her husband and neglects her children,
Tu- not the one that's going to talk about
her."
No. 1. 'By the way, girls, bow (lid yot
enjoy Mary Nesbitt's party'"
No. 2. Well, if I couldn't have nicer re
freshments and more of them I wouldn't
have a party at a!L "
No. 3. "For my pa"t : ray enjoyment was
completely spoiled by that little fright of a
Mary Green. Did you ever see such a
dowdy, and she gets more new dresses than
aDy girl in onr set. "
No 2. "And the idea of Sallie Throhton
having a new blue silk, when her father u
a minister and gets only eight hundred a
year."
This, my dear madam, is uo cxaggera
tion, and though they call me au iilnrtured
old bachelor. I must protest against it T
insist, the rosy lips of sweet sixteen were
never made to retail gossip: it is a growing
evil, and many heart-aches are caused by
the marvellous tales forged, the scandal
coined, the reputations clipped and the fair
names sullied in this thoughtless manner.
No domestic or social sanctities are too holy
for the vandal feet of our home is laid open
to the intrusion of the public.
"But," said I, "you den t pretend to
blame the young girls with all this?
"Ah, no," he replied, "I see women who
are capable of a worthier life taking the
lead, and Young America only follows in
the wake."
Now. girls, I have told you what an eld
bachelor says about gossiping., would you
like to know what a young gentleman thinks
at flirting? He said; "We never have much
respect for a young lady who indulges in
what are called "fan flirtations," hand
kerchief flirtations." etc A well dressed
young gentleman, bu. an entire stranger,
appears on the street of a village and has
not walked many squares before his atten
tion is attracted by some young la lies who
cough, smile, bow and perform a series of
mystical signs and signals with their band
kerchiefs. If be happens to be as silly as
tho girls, the acquaintance progresses so
rapidly that the girls become alarmed and
retreat from the scene, and learn to their
chargio that he is a man of such low and
loose morals that uo respectable woman
recognizes biro in the town where he lives.
Bat this is not all; he inquires who those
young ladies are, and afterwards uses their
names freely before other men of the same
sort, andio a manner the girls never dream
ed of when they started out to "have some
fun." If instead of being a well-dressed
roicdy, he is a gtvtleman, the girls only ex
ited his pity and contempt."
I replied that some girls might be found
in a town who would behave in tbi-> ntauncr,
t>nt not those who have been raised in re
spectable families.
"Don't be mistaken" Le said "Only
two weeks ago. while wailing in a barber
saloon, I was made the object of so uiaoy
,igus and communications from two pretty
girls on a door step opposite, that I was
strongly tempted to cross the street aod tell
them just what I thought of their conduct.
I found afterwards they were daughters of
rcfiued and elegant homes. I have seen
girls cultivate railroad acquaintances, to a
degree of familiarity which would Live
shocked and alarmed their friends at botae.
In fact. 1 never travel in the ear- without
seeing more or less of it, and it is not sur
prising to me that men do not always speak
the names of ladies with that reverence and
respect which they should command."
I thanked my friend for his information,
and assured him I would straightway tell all
the girl* of my acquaintance, what gentle
men of sense and taste think of ihrso things.
Be always sure of doing good. This v il!
make your life comfortable, your death
happy , and your account gloriou.-
! SUBSCRIPTION TERMS AC,
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ing he following rates :
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" " (ft not paid within sixmos.}... $2.10
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Ail paper* of the county dleeontinced
Without notice, at the expiration of the time for
which the subscription bus been paid.
Wfßffeeopieeof the wrapper.'
at ive eaota each.
Communication! on rabjecU of local or general
nterest, are respectfully solicited. To ensure aU
tentios favor* of thte kind must invariably be
accompanied by the nam* of the author, not for
publication, but as a guaranty against imposition.
All letters pertaining to business of the office
should be addteaaed to
L.UTZ A JORDAS, Bcaroag, Pa.
WATCH ROME
"'lf the Catholics succeed, tear down your
flag; it will be trailed in the dust It will
be the end of all Republican government, of
all freedom of speech, of the Press, of re
ligious belief, of every distinguishing feature
of the Constitution of our fathers, which
onr brothers and sons have farther sancti
fied by their blood. If the Protestants suc
ceed, our schools will spread everywhere, to
incorporate American principles into the
very life of the nation, and we shall preserve
our right to speak and think freely. Schools
and school books will, then as now. be open
to the wretched poor of Europe to change
their ignorance into the wisdom which makes
a good citizen, a good father, and an honest
politician. If this request is auoeded to it
will be a fatal step in the direction of a u
nion of Church and State. Church ooutrol
in public affirs must introduce weakness in
to the community You can't mix the two;
1 Itaoy never have been mixed without injury
to the people. The Church has its busi
ness—let it mind it. Let the State do its
proper business. Let no law be placed on
the statute book by the preacher. The
priest, in the future aa in the past, will have
the ambition to demand that the political
potentate shall take his bat off iu his pres
ence. and that the civil shall be subordinate
to the ecclesiastical power. It will change
the whole aspect of the country."—R<>
Gtorge 11. Ileptcorth.
"We in this contry, while guaranteeing to
all the highest forms of religious liberty,
are a Protestant people. Our civilization,
our whole social aud civil economy, is based
upon Protestan'ism. The mission of this
nation is intervolved with the mission of
Protestantism to the on coining generations.
* * * Will you temporize and compromise
and negotiate, until all heart and soul all
determination and dare, art; driven ont of
the matter? Is not this a Protestant land?
and is there not recorded a row, more sub
lime than the consecration of 'life, liberty,
and sacred honor" to the perpetuation cf
civil liberty, calling God to witness that
while time shall last this loved American
land shall never know the domination of the
hiorarch of Rome?"— Rev. Dr. Slsnrk
HOW TJ MAKE MONEY FAST AND
HONESTLY.
Enter into a business of which you have
a perfect knowledge. In your own right,
or by the aid of friends on long time, have
a cash capital sufficient to do at least a cash
business. Never venture on a credit business
st the commencement. Buy all your goods
or materials for cash: you can thus take ad
vantage of the market and pick and choose
where and when you will. Be caieful not
to overstock yourself. Rise and fall with
the market on short stocks. Always stick
to those whom you prove to be strictly hon
est in their transactions, and shun all others,
even at a temporary disadvantage. Never
take advantage of a customer's ignoraoec,
nor equivocate nor misrepresent. Have but
one price and a small profit, and you will
find all the most profitable customers —the
cash ones—or they will find yon.
If ever deceived in business transactions,
never attempt to save yourself by putting
the deception upon others; but submit to
the loss, and be more cautious in the future.
! According to the character or success of
i vour business, set aside a liberal percentage
| for printing and advertising, and do not
: hesitate. Never let an article, parcel, or
package, go cut from you without a hand
somely-printed wrapper, card or circular,
and dispense them continually. Keep your
self unceasingly before the public by judi
ciously advertising; and it matters cot what
business of utility you make choice of, in
telligently and industriously pursued a foi
tune will be the result.— line to Get Rich.
THE FVES OF THE "DAKNINO
SKKULB"
We do not mean the needle for which
| harum-scarum boys make so much work, as
i their mother "looks over their stockings"
Saturday evening, but the thin-bodied
dragon fly, which is sometimes so-called.
Did any boy ever dream, as he has seen it
darting about, reflecting all the colors of
the rainbow from its wings, that in its little
head w re set such wonders as these that
are described in Our Monthly.
"One of tbe most remarkable features in
the dragon fly is its eyes. They stand out
on both sides of the head prominently, and
arc in some species bright emerald green,
in others brown, or dark blue. Each eye is
composed of twelve thousand lenses, so that
the insect has twenty-four tbocsand eyes. Is
it any wonder that that they arc so promi
nent and give to -he head such a remarkable
appearance ? I can never look upon the
wonderful workmanship displayed in the
construction of this organ, without being
filled with adi. ation of the skill and wis
dom displayed by the Divine Architect.
Each one of these single eyes is a perfect
organ , having all the parts necessary to cor
rect vision. Here are the cornea, lens.
' humors and retina. And they are so set
together that they make the most accurate
and beSutiful mosaic such as no skill of man
can imitate."
Ktsstso. —Kissing is of no modern origin.
Our great-grandmothers distinctly recollect
that it was as near to perfection in tbeir
girlhood days as now. Kissing has been
banded down from generation to generation
and there are no tears but the present gen
eration will transmit it to posterity.
It seems kissing was invented in a jiertect
state, for, with all the practice it has met
with no visible improvement. A kiss
oftentimes >|tcaks the outpourings of a lov
ing heart; at others it is but a cloak to hide
hypocrisy.
A lover s kiss, coming from a pure and
devoted heart, thrills the soul with that
ecstatic rapture known only to the expe
rienced. The dewdrop kisses the flowers,
! but with what result 1 can't tell. A stolen
| kiss is the meanest of thefts. I was guilty
: once of this theft, and was accompanied to
! the door by a boot-jack in uncomfortable
i proximity to my new hat. 1 left the frag
i ments on the stoop. It getmrally affords
I girls much pleasure to kiss little bovs, and
• larger ones in proportion—only for a certain
I amount of shyness.
1 j "An eye for an eye," A kiss lbr a kiss-
\ SAN FRANCISCO judge tempered jus
tice with mercy by fining a starving pril 2s
ctots for stealing a can of milk and thou
raising S2O dollars for her on the spot.