Cite gfilfod jfuquiw IS PUBLISHED £VERY FRIDAY MORNING, On JULIANA ST., opposite the Mengal House, BEDFORD, BEDFORD CO., PA. TERMS: f J.OO a year if paid strictly iu advance, $2.25 if not paid within three months, $2.50 if not paid within the year. BATES OF ADVERTISING. One square, ene insertion SI.OO One square, three insertions 1.50 w-joh additional insertion less than 3 months, 50 3 months. 6 months. 1 year. oae square $ 4.50 $ 8.00 SIO.OO Two squares.. 6,00 8.00 16.00 Three squares 8.00 12.00 20.00 Half c01umn..... 18.00 25.00 45.00 One column 30.00 45.00 80.00 Administrators' and Executors' notices, $3.00. Auditors' notices, if under 10 lines, $2.00; if over 10 lines, $2.50. Sheriffs'* sales, $1.75 per tract. Ta bic work, double the above rates: figure work 25 per cent, additional. Estrays, Cautions and Noti ces to Trespassers, $2.00 for three insertions, if not above ten lines. Marriage notices, 50 cts.each, payable in advance. Obituaries over five lines in length, and Resolutions of Beneficial Associations, at half advertising rates, payable in advanee. Announcements of deaths, gratis. Notices in edi torial column, 15 cents oer line. deduc tion to advertisers of Patent Medecines, or Ad vertising Agents. professional & business gnrds. ATT©RMIST'S AT LAW. JOHN T. KEAGY, eJ ATTORNEY AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., Win promptly attend to all legal business entrust ed to his care. Will give special attention to claims against the Government. Office on Juliana sireet, formerly occupied by Hon. A. King. aprll:'6s-*ly. • TNSPY M. ALSIP, EJ ATTORNEY' AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., Will faithfully and promptly attend to all busi ness entrusted to his care in Bedford and adjoin ing connties. Military claims, Pensions, back r:iv. Bounty, Ac. speedily collected. Office with Mann A Spang, on Juliana street, 2 doors south of the Mengel House. apl 1, IS64.—tf. A F . A. POINTS. iVX ATTORNEY' AT LAW. BEDFORD, PA. Respectfully tenders his professional services to the' public. Office with J. W. Lingenfelter, Esq., OB Juliana street, two doors South of the -Mengle House." Dec. 9, 1884-tf. TOHN I/UTZ. T) ATTORNEY AT LAW, And regularly licensed agent for the collection of Government claims, bounties, back pay, pensions, 4c., will give prompt attention to all business en trusted to his cure. Office with J. R. Durborrow, Esq., on Juliana Street, Bedford Pa. August 19th, 1864.—tf. I R. DURBORROW, #J , ATTORNEY AT LAW, BEDFORD, FA. Office one door south of the ''Mengel House."— Will attend promptly to all business intrusted to his l itre. Collections made on the shortest notice.— Having, also, been regularly licensed to prose cute Claims against the Government, particular attention will be given to the collection of Milita ry claims of all kinds; Pensions, Back Pay, Boun ty, Bounty Loans, Ac. Bedford, apr. 8, 1864—tf. T T IMMF.LL AND LINGENFELTER, JY ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA. Have formed a partnership in the practice of the Law Office on Juliana Street, two doors South of the Mengel House, aprl, 1864—tf. JOHN MOWER, ,) ATTORNEY AT LAW. BEDFORD, PA. April 1,1864. —tf. DEXTISTS. C. N. HICKOA 4- O- MISSICB, JR. RAENTISTS, BEDFORD. PA. fhanical Dentistry carefullyr an d p - formed and warranted. TERMS UAStt. jan6'6s-ly. ,u , * tb „r" > s' i, 1 s n " o K"d the remaining three days at Bloody Run,, atte ing to the duties of hie profess.on At; •other timed he can be found in his office at Woodbury, ex eptine the last Monday and Tuesday of the "me month, which he will spend in Mart.nsburg Biair county, Penna. Persons desiring -hould call early, as time is hunted. tions warranted. 6 PHYSICIANS. DR B. F. HARRY. „ . Respectfully -enders his professional iser vices to the citiiens of Bedford and vicin ty Office and residence on Pitt Street, m the building Kirmerly eecupiedby Dr. J. H. Hofius. April 1, 1864—tt. T 1,. MARBOURG, M. I)., • J Having permanently located respectfully tenders his pofessional services ..f Bedford and vicinity. Office on ' Bank, mers office. ' HOTELS. BEDFORD HOUSE, AT HOPEWELL, BEDFORD COINTT, PA., BY IIAJ&RY DROLLINGER. Every attention given to make guests comfortable, who "stop at this House. Hopewell, July 29, 1864. U'NION HOTEL, T „ VALENTINE STECKMAN, Proprietor. WEST PITT STREET, BEDFORD PA., (formerly the lilobe Hotel.) The public are assured that he has made ampe arrangements to accommodate all that mav favor him with .heir patronage. ( A splendid Livery Stable attached, (apr 64. U" S. HOTEL, „ R'nER Six™ AND 1 MARKET STREETS, OPPOSITE BEAMS# B- B. DEPOT. D. H. HUTCHINSON, Proprietor. j in 6:65. I EXCHANGE HOTEL, LI HUNTINGDON, PA., JOHN S. MILLER, Proprietor. April 29th, 1864.—ft. BANKERS. 6. W. RIPP O. E. SBASBOB P- BEXRDICT RUPP, SHANNON A CO., BANKERS, BEDFORD, PA. BANK OF DISCOUNT AND DEPOSIT. COLLECTIONS made for the East, West, North and South, and the general business of Exchange, ..•n.aeted. Notes and Accounts Collected and Remittances promptly made. REAL ESTATE bought and sold. apr.ls, 64-tf. JEWELER, AC. DANIEL BORDER, I'JTT STREET, TWO DOORS WEST OF THE BED FORD HOTEL, BEBFORD, I.A. WATCHMAKER aND _?E A J* JEWEL " RY. SPECTACLES, AC. He keens on hand a stock of fine Gold and Sil ver Watches. Spectacles Of Brilliant Double Refin- j ed Glasses, also Scotch Pebble Glasses. Gold Watch Chains. Breast Pins Finger Rings bet quality of Gold Pens. He will supply to order any thing in his line not on hand, apr. 8, 1864—i*. JISTK ES OF TIIK PEACE. TOHN MAJOR, PJ JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, HOPBWBLL, BEDFORD COL'STT. Collections and all business pertaining to his office will be attended to prompt ly Will also attend to the sale or renting of real estate. Instruments of writing carefully prepa red. Also settling up partnerships aad other ac counts. April 1, IS64—tf. B. F. McNEIL. Editor and Proprietor. * JFOLTTT FTOINJ. ABRAHAM LINCOLN—PRESIDENT AND MARTYR. BT MUS. LUCY HOOPBR. There is a shadow on the sunny air, There is a darkness o'er the April day, We bow our heads beneath this awful cloud, So sudden come and not to pass away. -0 the wild grief that sweeps across the land! From frozen Maine to Californian shore, A people's tears, an orphaned nation's wail; For him, the good, the great, who is no more. The noblest brain that ever toiled for man, The kindest heart that ever thrilled a breast, The lofty soul unstained by soil or earth, Sent by a traitor to a martyr's rest. And his last act (O gentle kindly heart,) The noble promptings of unselfish grace, He would not disappoint the waiting crowd, Who came to gaze upon his honored face. 0 God, Thy ways are just! and yet we find Thig dispensation hard to understand; Why must our Prophet's weary feet be stayed Upon the borders of the Promised Land ? He bore the heat; the burden ofthe day, The golden even-tide he shall not see, He shall not see the old flag wave again, Over a laud united, saved and free. He loved his people, and he ever lent To *ll our griefs a sympathising ear; Now for the. first time in these four sad years, The stricken nations wail, he does not hear. 0 never wept a lavd a nobler Chief! Kind heart, strong hand, true soul—yet while we weep, Det us remember even 'mid our tears, 'Tis God who gives to His beloved sleep. So sleeps he now—the chosen man of God— No more shall care or sorrow thrill his breast, Tbc weary one and heavy laden, lies. Hushed' by the voice of God to endless rest. We need no solemn knell, no tolling bells, No chanted dirge, no vain words sadiy said, The saddest knell that ever thrilled the air, Bang in those words. "Our President is dead!" PHILADELPHIA, April 16, 1865. THE OLD FLAG OF SUMTER. WRITTEN BY COL. A. J. H. DCGAXSK. Lift up the Old Flag ofNumter! Tenderly—lovingly, Lift it on Liberty's spars! Bring back the Old Flag of Sumter— Banner of stars. Back, like a bride to her bridegroom, Living and lived as of yore; Back to the winds and the sunshine— Wedded once more! Oh, how she twines around Sumter, Kisses the red brow of Sumter, Mantling his furrows and scars- All the grim bosom of Ruin Zoning with Liberty's stars! Bring back the free Flag of Sumter! Fearlessly—faithfully— Lift it o'er shackles and bars: High o'er the ashes of Slavery , Watchligbt of Stars! Under the folds of its azure Mingle the souls of our brave; Under the gules of its glory JHeedeth no slave! Clothed thecomnr*? white fleeces— Feeleth no longer his scars: Man-like, he looks up to Heaven— Under the Banner of Stars! Lift up the proud flag of Sumter. Joyously —jocundly, — Rocked by the cannon's loud jars; All the dark clouds of Disunion Rifting with stars ! Far over crumbling Rebellion, Loyalty's Gospel it bears : Climbing the highways of Heaven. F eighted with prayers ! Emblem of Liberty's Symbol and sign of a People, Stronger than soldans or ciars; High o'er the hills of the future Sbineth our Beacon of Stars! Shout for the bold flag of Sumter! Manfully—heartfullv— Shout for it! Soldiers aid Tars ! lc who with Sherioar. ha ve conquered Under the Stars; Rally once more round the Flag, boy?. Fling o'er the waters yonr chant: Hurrah! for Sberrauu and Sheridan . Hurrah! for Grant! Ve who with Farragut thundered — Ye who went storming with Porter — Peal out your Union Hatxas ! Shout for the Old Flag of Sumter ! Shout for the Banner of Stars ! Stand by the Old Flag of Sumter ! Steadfastly—dauntlessly— Stand by it! Soldiers and Tars! Leading the March of the ages Cluster its sows ! Out from the darkness of Bondage— Upward from Battle s Red Sea; Over the Jordan-of Victory Landing the FRBE ! Bring back the Old Flag of Sumter. Lift up the bold Flag of Sumter. Fling it aloft from its spars! ' Standby the folds of "Old Glory! Stand by the Banner of Stars ! Kneel round the pure Flag of Sumter, Silently—reverently— Kissing its beautiful scar?: Swear by the pure Flag of Sumter, Swear by the stars ! Hero, at the Altar of Sumter, Built upon Slavery s dust; Welded from Slavery's ruins, Lying in rust, Swear to be true to Our Union — Swear to be loyal to Freedom — Rending all fetters and bars; Under the Flag of our Fathers— Under the Banner of Stars! Frar for the Old Flag of Sumter! Piously—fervently— Hushing the "cannon's wild jars; Pray, as ye prayed with your AXDERSOS Under its stars! Braving the red bolts of Treason Holding Rebellion at bay ; First for the Old Flag to battle; Earliest to pray 1 God bless the heroes who live for it. God rest the martyrs who die for it; Robed in their beautiful scars; Gilding its gules with their life-blood- Yielding their SOILS for its STARS . One on the Old Flag of Sumter! Graciously—gratefully! Reck not that battle-stain mars ; Reck not for murk of our Midnight Darkening its stars! Lo! by that flag's Crucifixion Freedom's Redemption was bought, Out of the Passion of Sumter Union is wrought! Ours was the Trial and Agony Ours is the fiery alembic! What though it scorches and chars. Out of the slag comes the silver . Midnight is Mother of Stars! ijgj. In Lillia's song in Tennyson's "Princess is the following: "Thy voice is heard through rolling drums, 1 hat heat to battle where he stands; Thy face across bis fancy comes, And gives the battle to his Lands: A moment, while the trumpets blow, He sees his brood about thy knee, The next, like fire he meets the foe, And strikes him dead for thine and thee." "The gallant Dutchman, Schimmelfennig, Holds Charleston as he would a hen egg; He grabs the traitors by the ear, And brings them to their lager beer. We wish we had a millioo such men ( V* this bold , ft*, hating Dutcuu.au. A LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWSPAPER, DEVOTED TO POLITICS, EDUCATION, LITERATURE AND MORALS. jfelwt itoni. MY PLAIN LOVER. I was a coquette. Many a lover's heart I had lacerated by refusing his offer of mar riage. after I had lured him on to a declara tion. My last victim's name was .lames Fra zer. He was a tall, awkward, homely, un gainly man, but his heart was true as steel, i respected him highly, and felt pained when I witnessed his anguish at uiy rejection of him. But the fact was, I had myself fallen in love with Captain Elliott, who had been unremit ting in his devotion to me.' Mr. James Frazer warned me against Elliot; but I charged him with jealousy, and took his warning as an insult. A tew days afterwards Elliot and 1 were engaged, and my dream of romantic love seemed to he in a fair way of realization. I had a week of happiness. Many have not so much in a life-time. Many awake from the bright short dream to find themselves in life long darkness, and bondage from which there is no escape. Thank God, I was not to be so miserable as they ! My mother was a widow iu good circum stances, but having very bad health. She was also of an easy, listless, credulous nature —hating trouble, and willing to take things just as they happened to present themselves. She therefore made no inquiries about Cap tain Elliot—hut fondly believed that inas much as he was a Captqin he must necessarily be a man of honor also, especially as he had served in the Crimea and India and won med als. His regiment was quartered in our neigh borhood, and he had the reputation of being one of the wealthies, as he was certainly the handsomest officer in it. I remember well the day wa became enga ged. He was on duty, but had managed to ride over to our house in his uniform, and while we were walking in the garden he made the tender avowal. I referred him to "mam ma he hastened to her—returned in three minutes, and led me into her presence to re ceive the assurance that the maternal consent had been readily and freely given. Mr dear mother hated trouble, and she moreover loved me tenderly, so that she was well pleased to find a husband presenting himself in a form and manner apparently so eligible for her beloved and only daughter. Well a week passed quite delightfully as I have said: and at the expiration of this there might have been seen an equestrian party winding through our old Devonshire woods and quiet country road. Elliot and I led the cavalcade. 1 rode my own beautiful brown Bess. Captain Elliot was mounted on a handsome black horse that had been sent him merry girls and their cavaliers; and among them was tall awkward and silent .lames tra zer. His presence had marred all the pleas ure of my ride, and I was glad to be in ad vance of them all that I might not see him. And so we rode on through the woods, and. I listened, well pleased, to the low but anima ted words of the gallant Eliot, who wished himself a knight and me a fair-, ladye ot the olden time thai he might go forth to do battle and compel all men to recognize tlie claims of his peerless love. Very eloquently he spoke of the inspiration of love, of the brave deeds and perilous exploits it had promoted, wishing again and again that he might pro claim and maintain his love before the world. It pleased me to listen to this and to believe it sincere, though I surely had no wish to put my lover to such a test. A shot suddenly rang through the woods and a wounded bird, darting past, fluttered and fell at the feet of brown Bess. With a bound and a spring that nearly unseated me, she was off. Struggling to regain my seat. I had no pow er to cheek her, and even as she flew, the fear and madness of the moment grew upon her. I could only cling breathlessly to the mane and bridle, and wonder hopelessly where this mad gallop was to end. She swerved from a passing wagon, and turned into a path that led to the river. In the sudden move ment the reins had been torn from my hands and I could not regain them. 1 clung to the mane and closed my eyes, that I might not I behold the fate that awaited me. How sweet was life in those precious moments that 1 thought my last! How all its joys, its aflec tions, its last crowning love rose up before me ! I thought of the pang that would rend Elliot's heart as he saw me lying mangled and dead : and then the thought would come if he were pursuing and trying to save me, even, as he had said, at the risk of life and limb. I remembered no more. I felt a sudden shock, a fearful rushing through the air, and knew no more until days afterwards. I woke at a faint, week semblance of life in my ' chamber home. I never saw Captain Elliot again. Hie last words I ever heard from his Hps were those of knightly daring. The last action of his life iu connection with mine, was to follow in the train of frightened yowths.who rode after me, to contemplate the disaster from afar, and as soon as he saw me lifted from the shallow bed of the river, into which I had been thrown when my frightened horse stop ped suddenly on its banks, to ride hastily off. That evening he sent to make enquiries, and learning that I was severely, but it was hop ed not fatally, injured, he thenceforth con tented himself with such tidings ot my con | dition and improvement as could he gained i from mere rumor. At last it was known that 1 would never recover entirely from the effects of my inju ry, and that very day Captain Elliot departed suddenly from the neighborhood. He made no attempt to see me, nor sent me any fare well. When I was once more abroad, and beginning, though with much unalloyed bit terness. to learn the tesson of patience and resignation that awaited me, I received a let ter from him, iu which he merely said that he presumed my own judgment had taught me, that in my sltered circumstances, our engage ment must come to an end ! but to satisfy his own sense of honor (his honor !) he wrote to say that while entertaining the highest respect for me, he desired formal renunciation of BEDFORD. Pa.. FRIDAY, APRIL, 38. 1865. my claim. Writing on the bottom of this letter, "Let it be as you wish," I returned it to him at once, and thus ended my brief dream of a rouiautic wedding. I heard ere this of Elliot's cowardly con duct on that day; but now I first bethought me to inquire who had rescued tne from that imminent death. And then I learned that James Frazer, his arm already broken by the jerk with which Brown Bess tore away from him as he caught at her bridle, had ridden af ter me, and been the first to lift me from the water. Many times daily he made inquiries concerning me ; his had been the hand that had sent the rare flowers that had decked my room ; his were the lips that breathed words of comfort and hope to my poor mother ; his were the books that I read during '.he days of convalescence ; and his, now, <.he arm that supported me, as slowly and painfully I paced the garden walks. I have been his wife for many a year, I have forgotten that he is not handsome — or rather he is beautiful to me, because I see his grand and loving spirit shining through his plain features and animating his awkward figure. I have long since laid aside, as ut terly untenable, my theory that beautiful spir its dwell only in lovely bodies. It may be a providential compensation that, in denying physical perfection, the soul is not dwarted or marred by petty vanity or love of the world's praise. PiSMllflttJONS. ARTEMAS WARD ON BOSTON. Artemas thus writes to his "Dear-Betsy" concerning his late visit to the Modern A thens: "The winder of my room commands a ex hileratin' view of Cobb's Hill, where Cottou Mather, the father of the Reformers and sich lies berrid. There is men even now who wor ship Cotton, and there is wimmen who wear him next their hearts. Bat I don't weep for him, he's been dead to lengthy. I ain't go ing to be absurd, like old Mr. Skillins, in our naborhood, who is ninety-six years of age, and gets drunk every 'lection day, and weeps bit turly he haint got no Parents. He's a nice Orphan, he is. Bunker Hill is over yonder in Charleston. In 177") a thrillin' draray was acted out over there in which the "Warren Combination played star parts." Old Mr. Fanuel is ded, hut bis Hall is still in full blarst. This is the Cradel in which the Goddess of Liberty was rocked, my Dear.— The Goddess hasn't been very well durin' the past few years and the cnm'ris quack doctors she called in didn't help her any; but the old uieir ousiness, .uajor g^ ob who undersUnd I think the day is near take her three meals a day, and sleep nights as comf bly as in the old time. " The common is here as usheil; and the low cuss who called it a Wacant Lot, 'nd wanted to know why they didn't ornament it with Bildins', a dnhappy Outcast in Nabonsit. The State House is fiUed with statesman, but som of em wear quer hats. They buy 'tu I take it, of hatters who carry on hat stores down stairs in Dock squtre. and is either ten years aheadof the prevailing stile or ten years behind it—jpst as the intellectoo al person sees tit to tbiik about. I had the plesure ov talkin' with several members of the Legislatur. 1 told 'im the eye of 1000 ages was onto we Amertan people of to-day. They seemed deeply iroyessed with the re marks, and wanted to kit>w if I had seen the Grate Orgin. Harvard College. Ths celebrated institoo tion of lcarnin' is pleasatly situated in the bar-room of Parker's it School street, and has poopils from all ove the country. I went over to Lexing>n yes'day. My bo som hove with sollim amotions, k this I said to a man who was dvin' a yoke of oxen, "this is ware our revutionary forefathers asserted their indepenflnce and split their blud. Classic ground.' "Wall," the man suit "it's good for white beans and potatos. butt regards to raisin' wheat, t'aint worth adn But have you seen the Grate Orgin ?" I returned in the hostars, part way. A pooty girl in spectaclest near me, and was tetlin' a young man hotnnch he reminded her of a young man she ted to know in Walt ham. Pooty soon the&ung man got out, and smilin' a seductiv' ianner, I said to the girl in spectacle, "Dft I remind yon of somebody you used to tow ?'' "Yes," she said, "yjdo remind me of one man, who was sent tibe penitentiary for stealin' a bar'l of matril—he died there, and I concluded you n't him." I didn't pursoo the conversatio I only heard her silvery voice once morluring the remainder of the jerney. Turnin) a respectable look in' female of advancedmmers she asked her if she had seen the Gr Orgin. We old chaps, my d, are apt to forget that it some time sinc was infants and et lite food. Nothin' futher int'rist took place on the cars exc that a colored gen ■ tleroan, a total strangdo me, asked if I'd 1 lend him my diamond tstpin to wear to a funeral in outh R>n I told him I wouldn't —not a purpr Altlio' fur from the hayries, there is a buudants of wild game ioston, such as quails snips, plover and Hoo I mentto have allud'.o the Grate Orgin in this letter, but I en't seen it. Mr. Reeves, whose tavern >p at, informs me that it can be distiaj heard through a smoked glass at his natown in N. Ham shire any clear day. settin' the Grate Orgin aside, (and iff! I don t think I I heard it mentioned all time I was there,) ! Boston is one of the giest, surefootedest, clear-headest, corafofest cities on the i globe. Onlike every " large city 1 was i ever in. the hack merft seem to have been speshally intended bytr for the Buglary profession, and it's al the only large city 1 know of, where you' t enjoy a brilliant opportunity of bein' idled in sum way, from the risin of the to the goin' down thereof. Then I sayfi and continued ap plause for Boston. Ax ENTHUSIASTIC OUTBURST. —It is said that on Sunday night about an hour after the re ception of the glorious news of Lee's surren der, an excited individual in military attire, who was mounted on a pile of bricks, on the corner of State and High streets, gave vent to the following enthusiastic outburst, indu ced no doubt, by an exuberance of spirits and patriotism : Whoopee! Thunder and Mars! Light breaks iii the east! Scream, Oh Eagle! The day-star illumines the world! The Peace Commissioners have put on theirseven-league boots and walked into the Confederacy! Richmond has caved in ! Petersburg has pe tered out! Babylon, the mother of harlots, has fallen ! Grant has extended his land grant all through Virginia! Twenty-four thousand prisoners! Fifty pieces of cannon, and more a coming! Jeff Davis skedaddles from the halter! Wigfall's wig tails and he can't stop to pick it up! Lee wrecked on a lee shore! Hurra for the conquering legions of the Republic! The Confederate Bank is busted! The abominations of the earth are no more! Victory at Last! A million cheers for our Star-Spangled-Royal-Triple-Hued- Nonpareil-American-Fourth-of-July Grant! A terrific yell for the flag of the Free! Vic tory ! G'ory! Zip! E Pluribus Unum! World without end ! Hallelujah ! THE LAWYER AND THE DUCKS. —There is not a more common offense against the laws of common courtesy (wc might sav, often times decency) than is practiced by a certain class of lawyers now a days in the examina tion of witnesses upon the stand. Now and then, however, an impertinent lawyer "gets it back" in such away that he is fain to call the next witness. Of such was the following not as yet put down in the books' 1 , but well worthy of being transferred to "the papers. 11 At a late term of the Court of Sessions a man was brought up by a farmer, accused of stealing some ducks. "How do you know that the ducks are your ducks?" asked the defendant's coun sel. "Oh. 1 would know them anywhere, 11 re plied the fanner; and he went on to prescribe their peculiarities. "Why," said the prisoner'scounsel, "these ducks can't be such rare breed; I have some very much like them in my own yard." That's not unlikely, sir," replied the farm er: "they are not the only ducks I have had stolen lately!" "Call the next witness.'' SCENE IX AX EXEMPTION OFFICE. —The as pirant was Yawcob Schnider a resident of the suburbs. 'What is the matter with you, Yawcob ?" 'Veil, my pack is mostjyoke." • ' Local or ,V>v "V ... J", •i mean io joure a standing complaint r 'Nein, I lays in der bed generally.' 'Well, how did you hurt your back ?' 'Veil, I was some beer drink last week in der saloon, and goes my house in, and den, I goes my stairs up, and I tumbles my win dow out and I strikes de sidewalk, an my pack; and I lies irt der bed tree months.' 'Ah,' said the clerk, 'you fell out of the window last week ?' 'Yaw.' 'And you laid in bed three months, how do vou make that out?' 'lch nix for stay, Ick can nich so much English sprecken.' Yawcob didn't get his papers. OVER in Jersey, durihg the last Presidential canvass, a young lawyer, noted for the length of his neck, his tongue and his bill, was on the stump blowing his horn for Gen. McClel lan. Getting on in his eloquence, he spread himself, and said : "I would that on the Bth day of next No vember I might have the wings of a bird, and I would fly to every city and every village, to every town and every hamlet, to every man sion and every hut. and proclaim to every man. woman and child : Geo. B. McClellan is President of these United States." At this point a youngster in the crowd sang out: "Dry up, you fool. You'd be shot for a goose before you flew a mile." PERSONAL APPEARANCE. — Attention to one's outward appearance is one of the first ele ments of politeness. Want of cleanliness, slovenly or dilapidated attire, are an affront to the persons we approach. Anything like dirtvness —the very word offends —is utterly unpardonable and inadmissable. Man, nat urally the nudest of animals. has necessarily the greatest need of personal neatness. Most of the nations of antiquity bathed daily, or oftener. Ablutions were, and still are, in many countries, a religious practice. Per fumes are quite gone out of fashion, being left to be used almost exclusively by persons of questionable character. The Richmond rebels have taught the la dies of that city to hate the Yankees to such a degree as to cause them to resolve not to call their children, should they have any af ter Grant, or Sherman, or Sheridan, or But ler. Since the Yankee boys have gone into the city, these same ladies have fallen in love with their brass coats and blue buttons, and the next thing we shall hear of is, that ihey will be marrying some of our soldier boys. THE wiues left by the late Daniel Webster were sold at auction in Boston on the 21st inst., for the benefit of his son, Ashburton Webster. There were upwards of 500 bottles which were sold in packages by the bottle at high rates. The wines were packed at Mr. Webster's home in Washington, 13 years ago and sent to Boston, where they have ever, since been in the hands of the trustees of the will. ' HEI.D FOR THE PRESENT. —General Halleck has decided that the 146 Rebel prisoners, (a portion of those lately captured at Fort Stead man,) who claimed that they surrendered on the condition that they be allowed to take the oath of allegiance to this Government, Shall be sent to Point Lookout, weere they will be held for the present, but that they shall not be exchanged against their will. Vol 38: No. 18 Smmdw jof the WHY do pioneers go before the army ? To axe the way. LIGHT infantry movements —Agitating a cradle with a baby in it. WANTED— some of the beer produced when "mischiefis brewing." W HY is a tight shoe like a fine summer ? Because it makes the corn grow. WITH this year, the British Parliament has been in existence six hundred years. WHAT is the best tar for making the wheels of life run smoothly? The al tar. A suspicions man would search a pincush - ion for treason, and see daggers in a need'le case. PROVOKING— to dream you have lots or" m on ey, and then wake up and find yourself, an editor. A DOWN east editor declares that modesty is a quality that highly adorns a womrm but ruins a man. WHY are books the best friends ?—Because when they bore you, you can always shut them up without offence ! IT is Walter Savage Lander, who says:— "Little men in lofty places throw long shad ows, because our suu is setting." LOVE, justice and fortune are said to have no eyes, but all three make us mortals open our eyes pretty wide sometimes. GEORGE, how does your new horse an swer ?" I regret to 6ay that I cannot in form you, for I never asked him a ques tion." ADVICE to Captains in the army—ln form ing your companies on the banks of a deep and rapid river, be careful how you order men to "fall in." HENRY IV, having bestowed the cordon bleu on a gentleman at the solicitation of the Due de Nevers, when the collar was put on the gentleman made the customary speech— "Sire, lam not worthy." "I know it well," said the king. "Go TO GRASS 1" said a mother to her daughter. "Well, then, I suppose I'll have to marry," ejaculated the fair damsel. "Why so?" exclaimed the astonished mother. "Be cause all men are grass. " The old lady sur vived. 'JOHN,' said a doting parent to her gorman dizing son. 'do you really think you can ciat the whole of the pudding with impunity ?'— 'I don't know, ma,' replied young hopeful, 'but I guess I can with a spoon.' THE Baptist Chronicle says: "At an ex amination of girls for the rite of confirmation in the Episcopal Church, in answer to the question, "What is the outward and visible siarnand form in baptism?" the reply of a A M AbbACllL Chl AO U UU|jS, UWK. . . ~ a husband may open a wife's letters, oj, ground so often and so tersely stated by S? Theopilus Parsons, of Cambridge, that "the husband and wife are one, aud the husband* is that one." AT a large dinner-party in a certain city, lately, the frosty weather had done consider able duty in supplying conversation, when a plump, happy-looking married lady made m remark about cold feet. "Surely," said a lady opposite, "Mrs. , you are not troab led with cold feet?" Amidst an awful pp.use she naively answered, "Yes. indeed, I am very much troubled —but then they are not my own.' How TO SWEAT A PATIKNT. — A young gen tleman was undergoing an examination at the College of Surgeons, when the questions put were of a very searching character. After answering a number of queries, he was asked what he would prescribe to throw a patient into a profuse perspiration. 'Why,' exclaim ed the youthful Galen, 'I would send him here to be examined ; and if that did not give him a sweat I do not know what would.' WE returned home on Thursday, says an editor, after a trip of six hundred miles, In about three and a-half days, having, in that time passed over four States, nine railroads, four oxen and a barouche. Any person who has done more in that time, will please for ward his address, and the small balance he owes us. FANCY DRINKS. —A great many people think that the peculiar fancy names which were in vogue for drinks a few years since were par ticularly our inventions. But long before the days of Whiskey skins, Stone-fences andEye openers there weve just such names for the drinks of the middle ages. In the old work 'De Generibus Mbrisoaum et Ebrietate \ ltan da,' published in 1515, we find the following among others:—Cows-tail, Calves-neck, Slip slop, Slam-in-the-ashes, Knock-'em-down, Crowing-cock, Wild-oats, Red-head, Raise head, Swell-nose and Gnat's mnstard. These may not be as enticing as some of our own bar-keeping inventions, but they are highly original. CONUNDRUMS. —What is the longest, and yet the shortest thing in the world; the swif test and the most slow ; the most divisible and the most extended ; the least valued and the most regretted ; without which nothing can be done; which devours everything, however small, and yet gives life snd spirit to all things however great? Answer —Time. Why is playing chess a more exemplary oc cupation than playing cards ? Because you play atchess with two bishops, and at cards with four knaves. When does a severe cold resemble a bril liant idea? Whea it comes into one's bead suddenly. If a person is learning many, languages, what should be end with ? The Finnish, of course. Why is a petroleum dealer like an epicure? Because he lives on the fat of the land. Why are some fortunes like ships ? Be cause they are built on the stocks. LOGICAL PARADOX.— Epimenides said "all Cretans are liars." Now Epimenides was himself a Cretan. Therefore, Epimenides was a liar. But if he was a liar, the Cretans were not' liars. Now, if the Cretans were not hart, Epimen ides was not 9 line. "M'OTfICE OF NQ,UIBITION— Whereas,I XI -jnet, s. Lane,* nephew of John F. Laae, late of the City of Lan carter, Pens'a., deceased, pre'Mßted a petition to the Orphani' Court for the Co.nnty of Bedford, State of Penntylvania, on the I' lth day of Fcliruary, 1865, setting forth, That the said John N- I*ne died inteeUte unmarried and without issue on the 3i>th day of January, A. D, 1856, and that the parties interested in the par titioa and valuation of the real estate of the said deceased are a* follows: Alice T. Taylor, of Pine (ifove, Clark County, Kentucky; William W. Lane, of Irvine, Kstcll eounty, Kentucky; Jatnes 8. Lane, of Pine drove, Clark county, Kentucky; Madison T. Ritchie, Alexander H. Ritchie, and Rebecca C. Ritchie, (a minor whose guardian if James 8. Lane,) of Winchester, Clark county, Kentucky,land Polly Ritchie, of Maysville, De Kalb county, Mis souri, [the said Alice T. Taylor, William N. Lane ar ho died intestate, sine* petitioners intestate, leaving issue Williafn T. Ritchie and Sterling P. Ritchie, both of whom are since de ceased, intestate, unmarried and without issue:] George W. Webb, and Edwin B. Wobb, of Carmi, Wjite county, Illinois; Willoughby L. Webb of the city of Philadelphia; > c usan Webb, of Carmi, Illinois, and George W. Webb (a minor whose 'guardian is Heury K. Leman, of said citv of Lan caster,) [the said George W. Webb, Edwin B. Webb, and Willoughby L. Webb being sons of Martha C. Webb deceased, who was a sister of said intestate, and Susan Webb, and George W. Webb, the younger, being children of John L. Webb, who was a son of said Martha C. Webb,]: Mary Ann Kennedy and Rebecca Hunter of Charlestcwn, Jefferson county, Virginia, [children of Willough by W. Lane deceased, who was a brother of said intestate] : tsnac li Carter, of Charlestown, Jef rerson county, Virginia, and Mary F. Martin, of Mount Sterling, Montgomery County, Kentucky, [children of Surah Ann Carter, deceased, who was a sister of said intestate): Mary N. Nteklin, of Charlestown, Jefferson county, Virginia, [a child of George S. Lane, deceased, who was a brother of intestate]: John N. Lane, James B. Lane and El liott E. Lane {minors whose guardian is Richard S, Jenkins, of the City of Philodelphia,) and Har riett R. Lane of the City of Lancaster, aforesaid, [the said Harriett R. Lane being a child of Elliott T. Lane, deceased, who was a brother of intestate, and John N. Lar.e, James B. Lane, and EKiott E. Lane, being children of James B. Lane, who died intestate, who was a son of said Elliott T. Lane): that the said John X. Lane died seised in hie de mesne, as of fee, (inter alia,) in nine pieces or tracts of land situate in said Bedford county, in Broad Top township, as follows, vis: 1. The one thereof adjeiaimg the John Cher ington tract, William Lane, Isaac Grove, Michael Si pes, William Bunn, and others, containing four hundred and thirty-owe acres and one hundred and thirty perches, and allowance of land, surveyed on warrant of Hth April, A. D. 1795, granted to John Chevingtoo, and patented by the Common wealth by patent of lfith of June, 1853, to Rich ard D. Wood and Lewis T. Watson, who by Deed of Indenture of the sth day of July, A. D. 1853, granted sad conveyed to John P. Lane his heirs and assigns forever in foe. 2. Another thereof containing four hundred and two acres and three-quarters, and allowance, which the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by warrant dated the 25th day of February, A. D. 1866, granted to William Bunn, and the sains which Richard D. Wood and his wife, and Lewis T. Watson and his wife, by Deed of Indenture of the sth day of July, A. D. 1853, granted and conveyed to John N. Lane, in fee. 3. Another thereof containing one hundred and eight and three fourths, and allowance,, of land, which the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by pat ent dated October 26, A. D. 1829, granted and conveyed to John Tod; and the same which Rich ard D. Wood and his wife, and Lewis T. Watson and his wife, by Deed of Indenture of the sth day of July, A. D. 1858, granted and conveyed to John N. Lane his heirs and assigns in fee. 4. Another thereof containing two hundred and twenty five acres and one fourth and allowance of land, which the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by patent dated tbe 14th day of December, A. D. 1795, granted and conveyed unto Leonard Sayre, and the same which Richard D. Wood and his wife, and Lewis T. Watson and his wife, by Deed of Indenture of tbe sth day of July, A. D. 1853, granted and conveyed unto John N. Lane, his heirs and assigns forever in fee. 5. Another thereof containing two hundred sad ten acres and allowance of land which the Com monwealth of Pennsylvania, by patent dated the 26th day of October, A. D. 1829, granted and con veyed unto John Tod, and the same which Richard i D.JWood and his wife, and Lewis T. Watson and , A. n "-ed of Indenture of the sth of July, ' Lao." .**•*.ffrwtod and conveyed unto John N. DsgwPty e l r fJMld assigns forever in fee. • acres and thirty perches, and allowance of land, being tbe same, the undivided moiety or half part whereof, Samuel Pleasants and his wife, by Deed of Indenture of the 13th dsy of September, A. D. 1553, granted and conveyed nnto John N. Lane, his heirs and assigns forever in fee, and ths other undivided moiety or half part, whereof Lew is T. Watson and his wife, and Jerman Jacob and his wife, by Deed of Indenture of the 15th dsy of September, A. D. 1853, granted and conveyed to John N. Lane l is heirs aud assigns forever, in foe. 7. Another thereof, adjoining lands of Hopewell Farm and Ealtxer Swarts, containing one hund red and sixty acres and ninety-six perches and allowance of land, which the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by warrant dated the 9th day of June, A. D. 1853, granted to John McLain; and which the said John McLain and bis wife, by deed of Indenture dated the 30th day of March, A. D. 1854, granted and conveyed to John N. Lane, his heirs and assigns forever, in fee. 8. Another thereof adjoining lands of (Rays town Branch of the Juniata River,) Hopewell Com pany, William Lowry's improvement, and others, containing three huniked and forty-two acres and one hundred and six perches and allowance of land; being the same tract of land which was or iginally surveyed on a warrant for four hundred acres to Daniel Kerr, dated 21st day of March, A. D. 1794, returned as containing three hundred and sixty-five acres and allowance, and accepted in the land office of Pennsylvania on the 23d day of December, A. D. 1830, and for which • pstont dated the 4th day of October A. D. 1855, was issued by the Commonwealth to John Ssvage and his wifs by deed of Indenture of the 17th dsy of November, .4. D. 1855, granted and oonreyed to John Lane, his heirs and assigns forever, in fee. 9. The other thereof adjoining lands of John Zook and Jacob Myers, containing eleven acres and 16 perches and allowance of land which ths Commonwealth of Pennsylvania by patent dated the 22d day of. December, A. D. 1853, granted and conveyed to Thomas M. Long, sad which the said Thomas M. Long and his wifs, by deed of Indenture dated ths 11th day of April, A.D. 1854, granted and conveyed to John N. Lane, his heirs and assigns forever, in fee. And praying tbe Court to award an Inquest to make partition of the premises aforesaid to and among the heirs and legal representatives of the said intestate: which said Inquest was upon motion of & L. Russell, Esq., awarded according to the prayer of the pe tioner. Notice is therefore given to all parties inter ested, that in pursuance of a writ of partition or valuation to me directed, I will proceed to hold an inquisition on the premises, on MONDAY THB 24th DAY OF APRIL, A. D. 1865, when and where they can attend if they see proper. JOHN ALSTADT, Skiriff. Sheriff's Office, March 24, 1885.:4a TO TRESPASSERS. All persons are hereby forbidden from fishing, hunting, driving cattle, or otherwise tresspassing on our premises, as the law will be rigidly enfor ced against all who are thus found violating, with out respect to person. D. C. MeCORMICK, G. T. MeCORMICK, and others, Heirs of the lata Dr. Sboenberger. aplfttfi ADMINISTRATOR'S^ NOTICE. Entitle of George Skarp, late of Middle Woodberry tp., decerned. Notice is hereby given that Letter* tf Adminis tration have been granted to the undersigned by the Register of Bedford county, on th< said estate. AH persons indebted to said estate will make im mediate payment, and those having clsias against the same must present them properly authentica ted for settlement. DAVID M. REPI/)GLE, mar 31:* Administrator. AUDITOR'S NOTICE—The undersigned Auditor, appointed by the Orphans' Court of Bedford County, to distribute the money in the bands of the Executors of the last will, Ac., of' FREDERICK BBRKHBIMKR, declL, to and amongst legatees and devisees, will attend to the duties of his appointment on FRIDAY, the 31st day of March, instant, at his offioe, in the Bor ough of Bedford, when and where all parties in teres ted can attend. marl? JNQ, P. REED, Aaditor.' NOTICE.— Having left my Books and Sale List in the hands of H. KICODEMTW, Esq., of Bedford, for settlement, all persons knowing themselves indebted to me will please sell oa iuw, at his office, and settle. WM. DIBKRT, Late proprietor of thelfftrhingta* Hotel. Bedford 31, W5,