iVnifotd 0S& iMpiter .
BY DAVID OVER.
SELECT POETRY.
THE VISIBLE CRE4TIOS.
BY MONTGOMERY
The God of Nature and cf Grace
In all his works appeal a;
His goodness through the earth wc trace.
His graadeur in iLe spheres.
1 Beliel! this fair ami fertile globo,
By Him in wis;", jui plann'dj
i' was II", who girded like a robe
The ocean round the land.
Lift to the firmament your *•;. e;
Ihither his path pursue;
His glory, bouudless as the sky,
OVrwhelms tbe wondering view.
He bows the heavens—the mountains stand
A high-way for their God;
lie walks amidst the desert-land,
—' i is lldcn where He trod.
The forest in his strength rftjoica;
Hark ! ou the tvuniDg bieeze,
As once oi old, the Lord God's voico
Is heard among the trees.
Here on tbe hills L e feeds his herds,
His docks on yonder plains;
iiispraiss is warbled by the birds;
—U could we catch their strains !
Mount with the lark, and hear our song
Up to the gates of light,
Or With tbe nightingale prolong
Our numbers through the night !
In every st -am Lis bounty flows
Diffusing joy and wealth;
la every breeze his spirit Hows
The L eathef life and health.
His blessings fall in plenteous showers
Upon the Lap ol earth,
1 hat teems with foliage, fruit, and flowers,
And ir>gs with infant mirth.
Ii t_*od hall, maoe tois wotlti so .
Where sin and death abound;
How beautiful be;, end compare
Will Paradise bo found !
Tt R i 11) bTli RU.
From the American Agriculturist.
HOW LONG WILL TREES LIVE,
Why may not trees live forever? Is there a
necessary limit to their existence? Do they,
like animals, have their infancy, youth, matu
rity, decline, and death? This is the common
opinion. It is believed that they die, not sole
ly because accidents befall them, or diseases as
sail them, or because they are cut down by the
woodman's axe—but because, escaping ail such
contingencies, their cells and vessels become
hardened and inerasted, sua the fluids cease to
flow, and they perish from sheer exhaustion and
old ego. They wear out and run down, like an
old clock.
Let u9 overhaul this opiuiou a little. Yege
table physiology shows that tho living parts of
au exogenous tree, that is a tree growing by ad
ditions to the outside are: (1) extremities of
the stems and branches, including the buds; (2)
tbe extremities of the roots and rootlets; and
(3) the newest strata of wood and bark. These
are all that are concerned in the life and grovrih
of a tree; and these are renewed every year.—
The functions of life in an animal are carried
on for a whole life-time in one set of organs;
and when these organs wear out, tho auimal
•lies. But the life processes iu a plant ate car
ried on through organs annually reuewed, and
hence the plant is not subject to decay, for the
-stne reason that the aDimal is. Every year
the crude sap rises from tho roots to tbe leaves,
where it is digested, and from whence it de
scends, leaving deposits OD the way, of uew
buds, bark, wood, and roots. If, then, all that
is concerned in tho life and growth of a tree is
annually renewed, making the living and active
paits of a tree never more than one year old—
why should not the tree continuo to live on for
an indefinite period? There seems to be no ne
cessary reason, no cause inherent in the tree iV
welf, why it should die.
Again: a tree i not, philosophically rpeak
vng, an individual, liko a man, cr any animal.
It is a community, an aggregation of individu
als. The only real individual in a plaut is tbo
fcrst cell of which the plant was oiiginally com
posed. Krery bud on a tree may also be con
sidered an individual, since it lias in it*!f all
A Weekly Paper, Devoted to Literature, Politics, the Arts, Sciences, Agriculture, &e., &c—-Terms: One Dollar and Fifty Cents in Advance.
tie elements of no independent plant, and may
be made to produce one. Now, if it be object
ed that the inner parts of tbe tree die, or ut
least become inactive heart-wood, yet tbe outer
parts do no!; individuals may perish, but the
community docs not, for it is renewed and in
creased every year.
Trees have been happily compared to the
'•branctDg or arborescaDt coral/' This struc
ture is built up by the combined labors of a
multitude of individuals—"the successive "la
bors of a great number of generations. The
surface or the recent shoots alone are alive: all
underneath cousists of the dead remains of for
mer generations. It is the same with the veg
etable, except that it makes a downward growth
also, and by constant renewal of fresh tissues,
maintains the communication between the two
growing extremities, the buds and the roct
j lets." {Dr. Gray.) As tbo coral structure,
[ considered as a mass, lives on indefinitely,
i though the individuals composing it perish, so
a tree considered as a composite structure may
live on in the some way, without any assignable
limit to its life. Every joint in the root, and
every bud from it? branches might be taken off
and set up by itself to form a separate and in
j dependent tree; but if they all choose to 6tay
i on the homestead, need they and the family die
] out?
j So much for theory. We shall present some
| facts next month.
' PROFITS OF SINGLE GRAPF VINES. —We
i have often urged all our readers to set out at
I least one cr two grape vines somewhere in the
i garden or door-yard—not usually to raise
grapes for sale, but to secure a supply for home
consumption. The first cost of procuring and
setting a vine or two, or three, is trifling, while
| the product is large and of greet value. A
; grape vine requires but little ground room, and
(whoever has n t<-w feet only of soil by tbe siuc
of the dwelling, may put out a vice, where
' there may net be even rooiu for a fruit free to
, expand its branches. The vine may be trained
, up over a porch, or on the gidrs of the dwelling
! itself.
1 On page 337 of ls-t volume (Nov. No.) wc
j gave en account of two vines (a Concord, and
a Hartford Prolific) which yielded 60 lbs. of
j !ncious grapes the 2d year after planting. —
i Theje were unusually well-rooted wheu set out
but ere an indication of what may be obtained
very SOOB after planting. We now give unolh
;or item which we recently gathered from our
old friend and long-time subscriber, Stephen
Haigh', of Dutches Co., N. I*. He has su Is
abella grape vino, 12 years old, which is train
ed upon a trellis, and branches out about 25
feet each way from the root. The past Au
tumn he picked from this single vine two buu-
I dred and twenty six pounds (22G,) leaving at
I the satns time fifty pounds of unripenod grapes
which were afterwards made into wine. (In.
1 all 276 lbs.) The ripe bunches were carefully -
| locked over, and the green, bruised, and e'e- ;
; cayicg berries cut out with a pair of scissors.
They were then packed precisely according to j
the directions we gave in October last (Vol.
17, pago 307.) Dec. 22, when grapes were a |
| rarity in the city, Mr. Height sold tbe product !
i of bis single vine here, for $>564, {'2s els. per j
lb.) Pretty well for one vine.— lb.
BRAINS.
An American sloop of war had put into an
English port, and the first lieutenant went
j ashore to reeoDnoiter. In the course of bis
; travels, he entered a tavern whore a number of
j British officers were carousing. They at once
• recognize! tbe lieutenant's nationality by his
dress, and resolved to amuse themselves by
bullying him.
"Well, comrade," says one, "you belong to
the United States, I see."
"Right," was the answer.
"Now, what would you do to a man who I
should say that your navy did no; contain an i
officer fit for a bumboat?" continued the En- i
glishman.
"I would blow his brains out!" returned the
lieutenant, with great coolness.
There was silence among her majesty's ser- I
vauts for a moment, but finally, one of them,
more muddled than the rest, managed to stam
mer ont.
"W—well, Yank, I say it!"
The American walked to his side, and re
plied. calmly:
"It is lucky for you, shipmate, that you have
no brains to blow out /"
•Struck by the dignity of the answer, the of
fender at once apologized, and our hero was
invited to join the mess.
The greatest charm of books is, perhaps,
that we see in them that other men have suf
. fered what wc have. Some souls we ever find
who could have responded to all our agony, be
what it may. This, at least, robs misery of its
loneliness.
Tbe origin cf Pennsylvania is thus given by
an old epigrammatist*:
Penn refused to take bis bat off
Before the King, and therefore sat off
Bome other country to light pat on j
Where be might worship with his hat on !
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 1859.
DANGERS OF SKATING.
| A correspondent of the Philadelphia JYorth
; American writing from a tnw n } Q yjagjachu
' setts, where skating is all the rage, tells about
| his adventures on the ice with Mary.
Hear him :
WHO MARY IS,
Mary is as pretty a piece of humanity iu the
! shape of woman as you can find this side of
| Heaven. Such eyes! such hair! such teeth!
And her hand ! Well now there! I think it was
! just the smallest, the whitest— why, ivory is
slow to it. Aud her foot was like a lit
tle white rose bud, its snowy leaves just show- i
i iDg enough to set off the neat covering that
concealed 'he rest from profane eyes. It did
| not seem a foot, as one saw it reposing in its
liny kid slipper, like a Canary bird iu its nest.
MARY HAS THE SKATING FEVER.
Well, eir, this Mary caught the skating fe
j ver, which is now raging.so fearfully. I heard
' her express a wish for a pair of skates and the
! next day she had the best pair that coulu be
' found in the city, and nobody knew who sent
i them to her—but, bless me, hew my blood boils
ar the thought of tbo cousequenees.
MARY PUTS HER FOOT IN 17.
We went down upon the ice, and there that
; little devil of a Mary just set quietly down,
ordered mo on my knees and quietly" placed
that foot, tho foot, the poetic myth, in my lap
and bid me put on her skates. Bir! had Venus
; dropped from heaven, and lid me rub her
; down with rotten stone and oil, it could not
bare astonished me more than when that divine
i foot was'placed iu my unworthy lap. I felt
: very faiui—but I buckled on (be skate, and
i stood up, with Mary by my side.
IHE BACHELOR'S HEAD SWIMS.
. Have you ever taught a woman to skate ?
! No; well, let me fell you. You've beon in
a room lined with mirrors, havo'ct you?—
Yon ve seen a kalcidescope with a few old bfls
of glass, &c., in a t;n tube, and turning it have
seen all sorts of beautiful figures. Just ima
, ginc a kaleidoscope, and m place of beads and
, broken glass, please substitute blue eyes, curv
ing eye lashes, lips, ivory, wavy hair,"crinoline,
gaiter boots, zephyr worsted, cupids, hearts,
, darts, a clap at ihundcr. u. flof iighim^ r
and 'auld Nick.' Imagine yourself tbe centre
of a system with all theso things .revolving
round you, and a violet bank IrealLieg sighs
upon you all the while, and ycuhave Mary ood
her victim in tbe first skating lesson.
GAITERS IN TNE TIT OF HIS STOMACH.
But just let me try to describe our perfor
mances. Mary I start—she or. my left arm all
square. Lord have mercy ou my poor puzzled
brain while I try to describo the stirred and
mixed rainbow of sights aDd semiimiiis.—
hirst, Mary's dear little gaiter boot 9 present
themselves to my astonished vision, ana before
1 have time to wonder how they came up before
uio 1 feel them piessing their Messed beauty,
wiih emphasis, into the pit of my sfonioeb.
MARY PITCHES INTO DIM GENERALLY.
Next scene—wavy hair, with a thirty dollar
i bonnet and a divine head, came pitching into
my waistcoat, with such force that I feil the
buttons against my spine. Next—Mary gazijd
up at me from between my jack boots, afld
i anon her blessed little nose is thrust into tlfc
j bosom of my skirt. Ah! nr. friends, ali re
search and study on the mysterious subject of
j woman has been comparatively in vain, till in
this evontful year of 1859, the fashion of skat
ing has opened and varied sources of inl'orun-i i
' t ion.
MARY SUBDUES 11111.
Lear Mary ! I offered myself to her evert
i tiuia she turned up, r came round. I am
I hers; but I wish to enter my solemn protest'
j before the world, that she alone could not have
j conquered me. But who could hold out, when
| surrounded by cn army of Marys on skates?
I aui hers ! —but lam awfully sore! Ah! I
have learned something. Cupid makes bache
lors tender as cooks do tough steaks, by ham
mering and pounding.
COURTING BY TELEGRAPH.
A certain young uan, whom we shall call
Smith, was employed at an office ou tbe Na
tional line. In the course of business, ho as
certained that a person having charge of a
station in a small town some seventy miles dis
tant, was a young lady, and that her name was
Sarab. Forthwith, in an interval of leisure,
flashed ever the wires this message :
"Ay uauie is Smith —how old are you ?"
To which an answer was promptly return
ed :
"My name is Surah -None of your busi
ness !"
The next one ran thus :
"I am not married—What are you worlh 1"
"To which the words came back :
"Worth a million."
As a climax, the youth replied :
"Will you marry me?"
Tho answer was, 'Yes'—aud in four months
they were married.
An Irishman who had returned from Italy,
where ho had been with his master, was asked
in the kiteheo, 'Yea, then, Pat, what is the
lava I hear the master talking about ?"
"Only a drop of the crater," was Pat's re
ply.
—
A Yankee doctor has got up a remedy for
hard time. It consists of ten hours' labor well
worked in.
Wanted by a Dutch gardener—a journeyman
cooper, to head a cabbage.
What tune can make every one glad? Ans.
Fortune.
VARIETY IN CREATION.
There era 56,000 species of plants on exLi
tion iu the museum of Natural History of Par
is. The whole number of species in earth and
sea cannot be less than four or five thousand.
These are of all sizes, frftm the invisible for
ests tfl a bit of tuouluiness to the towering
frees c 4 Malibar, 50 feet iu circumference, and
the badsßH, vvbose shoots cover a circumfer
ence of five acres. EacL of these has a com
plicated system of vessels for the circulation
oT its juices. Some trees have leaves narrow
and short; .others, as the talipot of Ceylon—
have leaves so large that one of them can shel
ter fifteen oi twenty men. Some exuviate
their leaves annually, as a whole robe, leaving
the tree rude, its bare stem towering and its
branches spreading themselves uucovered in
tbe shy; while tbe leaves of others drop off
One by one, new ones constantly growing in the
place of jyjjs dismembered ones, and the tree re
taining its perpetual verdure -
There have actually been ascertained, in the
animal kingdom, about 60,000 species of liv
ing creatures. There are 600 species of mam
malia— t.io.se that suckle their young—the
most ofswbich are quadrupeds. Of birds,
there are! 4*ooo species; of fishes, 3000; ol
reptiles/700, and of insects, 44,000 species.
Besides- bene, there are 3,000 species of shell
fish, amino? less than eighty or one hundred
ihousanaNpeetes of animalcules invisible to tbe
! naked eyL
: Some of life require a moist atmos
i phore, otapF a dry one. A blue water lily
grows in 4$ canals of Alexandria, which,when
the water J'&porales from the beds of the ca
nals, driefcp; end when the water is again in
i the oanslAt again grows and blossom;. Aud
some ol tlijiowest animals may be completely
dried aou frit in this state for any length cf
time, but fcsn they are agaiu moistened, they
! resume th®".ictions of life. Some plants are
! adapted o§j to particular climates; others
j grow in Jf ;rent climates; but they do not
j flourish cqfaify well in these. As a tree which
: iu the Soutfcra States attains a height of 100
j feet, at Gr4r Slave Lake, the Northern limit
at which ti's found, becomes dwarfed to a
j shrub of onl five feet high. Life, both vegc
-1 table and ailpsl, is infinitely modified; but io
ail Cases its*st development is only under
those coaditma to which it i? specially adapt-
W trrr rby v**tks, O God ! in
i wisdom tfco'u tit fliade them all.— Life lUus-
I tratfd. f
I
LIFE
I low truly ■ es the journey of a single day,
its changes at: its hours, exhibit the history
of human lifql We rse up in the glorious
; freshness of J<p-ing morning. The dews of
niglit, those freet tears of nature, are hanging
' from each bomb and reflecting morning. Our
hearts are bluing with hope, our frames are
: buoyant wi?!| !ieith. Wo see no cloud, we
fear no storm, r.r,d wish our chosen an : belov
ed compauioL clustering around us. we com
mence our jJurney. Step by step, the scene
becomes mo* lovely; hour by hour, our hopes
become brighter. A few of our companions
have dropp3i away, but in the multitude re
maining, anp the beauty of the scenery, iheir
loss is unfek. Suddenly we have entered up-
on a new cduutry. Tbo dews of the morning
are exhaled;by the fervor of the noon day sun:
the friends that started with us ore disappear
ing. Some remain, but their looks are cold
iiua estranges, others have lain dew*' to rest,
but new faces are smiling upon us, ami new
hopes arc beckoning us on. Ambition and
fame .'<ro befoio us, but youtii and affection are
behind us. Tbe scent is more glorious nnd
brilliant, but tho beauty end the freshness of
the morning have faded and forever. Onward
and onward we go; the horizon of happiness .
and faino recedes as we advance to it; the
phadows begin to lengthen, and the chilly airs
|>f evening arc usurping tbe noon day. Still
tve press ouwaroi; the goal is not yet won, the
iaven not yet reached. The orb of hope that
j sad cheered us on, is sinking in the West; our
; Irubs begin to grow faint, our hearts to grow
I ;|d; we turn to gaze upou the scenes that we
! Live passed, but the shadows of the twilight
I have interposed their veil between us; we look
; around for the old and familiar face?, the com
: pauions of our travel, but we gaze in vaiu to
find them; we have outstripped them all in the
race after pleasure, aud the phantom yet un
caught, in a land of strangers, iu a sterile and
inhospitable country, the night time overtakes
us—tbe dark and terrible night time of death,
and, weary and heavy laden, wo lie down to
rest iu the bed of the grave. Happy, thrice
happy, is he who has laid up treasures for him
self, for tbo distant aud unkuown to-morrow.—
Knickerbocker.
MASKS AND FACES.
A great masquerade ball was given iu Mil
waukee about a week ago. The jYews of that
city, io the course of an article describing it,
jsays:
"One gentlemen fell iu love with bis own sis
ter, while auotber man danced, talked and
promcuaded with a geutlemau iu a woman's
dress three hours in the vain hope of finding
out who the dear creature was. One young
mao took his mother to the supper, and great
was the surprise of both on learning how mat
ters stood. One of our leading merchants gave
his ring to a young lady if she would raise her
mask that he might sec her features, when it
was his own sister, who he supposed was at home
with the toothache! Two gentlemen got into a
warm dispute as to who a certain lady
with a black domino was, and after making a
wager of two bottles of champagne, found out
that the youDg lady was the yonger and mis
chievous brother of tbe losing party. '
Wanted to know —where tho hail stones are
quarried?
; FUTURE EQUALITY.
We stand upon common ground. The Great
Leveller will knock at your door, Sir Million
aire, as well as at mine, and we must both open
to him, whether we bid him welcome with
our hearts or not. Roll along, then, in your
chariot, nor heed the poor pedestrian who drags
his blistered feet over the bard sidewalk.—
Stoop not at the imploring voice of tho ragged
mendicant. Wo aro all travelling the samo
way, and shall ultimately reach the same inn—
the grave. "There tbe wicked cease from
troubling, and tho weary are at rest." The
weary! ia there not consolation in the assur
ance?
Courage, then, storm beaten journeyera over
the desert of life! Toil on, yet, while amid
trials and tears. The goal is at hand—your
home—your haven of rest. Does the man of
this world, who has laid up stores for many
years and spoken peace to his own soul, afflict
or oppress you? forgive him. He is your fel
low traveller to the land of souis—he will
soon stand upou an equality with yourself.—
His treasures cannot bribe the spoiler. His
gold may soon become cankered, and his fine
gold he dim.
Let not the rich be unduly elated, nor the
poor unduly depressed; for in the great com
munity of the dead there is nothing known of
inequality. Let the proud bo humbled at tbe
thought, aud the humble lifted up.
Come, neighbor, thy hand! We will trudge
along life's uneven road together, if you please
and encourage each other so to live—will it;
not be the better way? that when our summons i
comes to depart hence,
"We go—not like the quarry slave at night
Scourged to his dungeon—but sustained aud
soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach our grave,
Like one who wra.ps the drapery of his coucb
About him, ani lies down to pleasant dreams."
HOW COFFEE CAME TO BE USED.
At the time Columbus discovered America,
coffee had never baeu known or used. It only
grew ia Arabia and upper Ethiopia. The dis
covery of its use as a drink 13 ascribed to the
superior of a monastery in Arabia, who, desi
rous of preventing the monks from sleeping at
their nocturnal services, made them drink the
iufusioa of coffee, upoa the repot! of some
shepherds, "h i observed that their flecks were
moae lively after browsing on the fruit of that
plant. Its reputation rapidly spread through
the adjacent countries, and io about two hun
dred years it reached Paris. A single piaot,
brought in 1614, became the parent stock of
all tbe coffee plantations in the West Indies.—
The extent of consumption can now hardly be
realized. The United States alone annually
consume at tho cost of its landing from four
teen to fifteen millions of dollars. You may
know the Arabia or Mocha, the best coffee, by
its smaii bean and dark color. Tbe Java and
East India, the next in quality, is a larger
bean, and of a yellow color. Tbe West India
Rio has a blue, greenish gray tint.
OBEYING ORDERS.
A certain General of the United ?tate.s Ar
my, supposing his favorite horse dead, ordered
an Irishman to go and skin him.
'What, is Silvertail dead?' asked Patrick.
'Whet is that to you?" said the officer; 'do
as 1 bid you, and ask me no questions.'
Pat went about his business, and in about
two hours returned.
'Well, Pat, where have you been all this
time?' asked the General.
"Skinning }'our horse, your honor/'
'Did it take you two hours to perforin the
operation?'
•No, your honor, but then you see it took uie
about half an hour to catch the horse.'
'Uatch him! fire and furies! was ho alive?'
'Yes, your honor, and I could not skin him
alive, you know."
'Skin bitn alive' did you kill him?'
'To bo sure I did, your honor! and sure you
know I must oboy orders without askiog quea
titm?.
WHEN DEATH COMES.
Death comes at morn, when the sun is just :
risiog in the east; at noon, when its rays are
roost resplendent; at eve, when it gradually
sinks beneath the horrizon ; at midnight when
it is entirely hidden from view. It cornea to j
tbe babe just commencing to prattle , it comes
to the man of middle age, when the connecting
links binding us to life nre most strong ; it |
comes to the aged man with trembling limbs j
and faded eye-sight, fed along by others ; it
comes to tbo poor, struggling to obtain a
meagre sustenance ; it eouies to the roan in ,
easy circumstances, by whom lite is best em
ployed ; it comes to the wealthy, rolling in
effluence and ease; it conies to the idiot laugh
ing at his own folly ; it comes to the man of j
just sense enough to pass through life easily ;
it comes to the educated man glorying in his
Cicero and Homer; it comes to the christian
who looks upon it only as a happier land.--
Reader these words are spoken to you. 55 ill
you heed them ?
CHRISTIAN EARNESTNESS.
How beautiful and how needful in our
churches is Christian earnestness ! What are
professed Christians doing to bring sinners to
the Saviour ? Shall not the sight of souls in
the guilt of unnumbered sins, and under the
threat of everlasting woe, move us? Surely
there is power io tbe death of Christ as a
motive. May His love coustraiu us, as it did
one who was "wounding Him iu tbe house of
his friends," but was brought to repentance
aDd to duty by a picture cf the Cruoifixion
beneath which were engraved the words :
'•1 did this (or thee ;
What Last thou done for mr?''
VOL 32, NO. 12.
THE LORD'S PRATES,
We hare lately fallen upou something very
different from the usual poetical paraphrases of
Sacred Writ, it is a versification of the Lord's
Prayer—an orison, tho brevity and concentra
tion of which ought to bo a lesson to tboso
who indulge in many words when they pour out
■ prayer and praise. It has lately been publish
j ed m London, is composed as a duct, and har
monized for four voioee, with an accompani
ment for the rorgan or piano-forte. It run#
; thus i
: ' ; Oor Heavenly Father" hear our prayer i
J ihy name be hallowed everywhere;
Thy kingdom come : thy perfect will
t In earth as in Heaven, lei all fulfill ;
Give this day's bread, that we may live;
Forgive our sins as we frt'*give ;
i Help us temptation :o withstand;
From evil shield •:? by Thy hand ;
Now and ever u.-.tb Thee,
The kingdom, power, and glory he. Amen."
Here nothing is redundant, nothing wanting.
The music, simple atari melodious, is said to bo
worthy of the words.
OWE OF THE SENTRIES.
In n recent lecture upon Washington, Theo
j dore Parker told the fallowing anecdote:
At Cambridge, (Fen. Washington had heard
that the colored soldiers were not to be depend
jed upou for sentries. So one night, when the
; pass word was 'Cambridge,' he went outside
I the camp, put on an overcoat, aud then ap
! proscbed a colored sentinel.
•Who goes there?' cried the svutmel.
•A friend,' replied Washington.
'Friend, advance unarmed aud give :hc coun
tersign,' said the 6oldier.
Washington came up and said 'Roxbary. r
•No sar,' was tbe response.
'Medford,' said Washington.
'No sar,' returned tbo colored soldier.
'Chatlestown.'
Tbe colored man immediately exclaimed,
'I tell you, Massa Washington, no man go by
here 'out be says Cambridge.'
Washington said 'Cambridge,' and wont by,
and the next day the colored gentleman was
relieved of all fuit'aer necessity for attending
to that particular branch of military duty.
PROSE POETRY-
I gave h.ir tt rosc'sr.d gar* her & ring, anil
I asked her to marry me then—but sbe sent
i them all back, the insensible thing, and said
| she'd no nothing of men. I told her I Lad
' oceans of money and goods, and tried to fright
; her with a growl, but she answered she was not
brought up in the woods to be scared by the
screech of an owl. I called her a Inggago
and everything bad ; I slighted her features
cud form, till at length I succeeded in getting
her mad, and and she raged like a sea in a
storm. And then in a moment I turned and
sniiied, aod called her tuy angel, and she fell
iniay arms like a wearisome child, and cxila
i:ced, "we will marry this fall."
1)0 RIGHT.
A man that lias a soul worth n six-f encd
must hare enemies. It is utterly impossible
| for the best man to piease the whole world, and
the sooner this is understood, and a position
taken in view of this fact, the better. Do
right though you have enemk3. You cannot
escape them by doing wrong, ard tt is little
gain to barter trzy your honor and mauhood,
and oivest yourself of moral courage, to gain
what ? Nothing ! Better abide by tbe truth
—frown down all opposition, and rejoice in
the feeling which must iv*pire a free and in
dependent man.
WEIGHT OF A MILLION IN GOLD.— In answer
to the question "what is tha weight of a mil
lion of dollars iu gold ?" an officer of the mint
calculates ns follows : Tbe weight of one mii
iion of dollars of United States currency, in
gold, is 58,750 troy oz. This makes 4479
; pounds, 2 oz, —or nearly two tous aud a quart
-1 er, reckoning 2000 lbs only to each ton. As
weighty as this is, we have no doubt that, if
the amount were offered to any body who would
lift it, there would be enough persons found
ready to break their necks iu the vaio at
tempt.
THE INCORRUPTIBLE PRESS.
The incorruptible cf tbe feuilletonist may
be judged of bye following fact:- A di
rector was vaunting the success of new
piece—
"Why," lie said, "Hie very check-taker is
rubbing his hands, put th.-.t in. Tell the pub
lie that the check-taker is rubbiog his hands
wilb glee."
"I cannot, sir."
"Uannot ! Why not ?"
"Because, sir, the check taker bus enlv one
hand."
A lover *had been offered a kiss if ho would
prove his assertion that locomotives wore ac
customed to chew tobocco, as well as amoko out
of their pipes :
"Observe tbo sound
As the crank ccuies round.
He arehly said,
"It's choo—cboo—choc,
To go ahead,
And ohoo—choo—cbeo— chtvr,
To bnck'er
Benevolent impulsee, w&ere we should not
expect teem, in modest privacy, enact many *
scene of beautiful wonder naiUHt the pludits
of angels.
Calamity never leaves us where it found M ;
it either aoften# or harden# tbe heart of its
victim#.