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iA ; (i; ' .. ' ,
BY DAVID OVER.
ORIGINAL POETRY •
For the Inquirer.
BY BOLLS PILLBAGS, M. X>.
• Three faces wears the Doctor —when first sought,
An angel's and a God's, the cure half wrought:
Hut when, the cure complete, he asks his fee,
The Dev i, then, looks less horrible than he."
I'ART Ist- DOCTOR SENT FOR.
'Cotue ! John, go brirg the Doctor, my wife is
Go! bring him in a hurry, he 4nick, he very
'hi-, ruining, hailing, sleeting, as fast as e'er it
But lis will come despite the storm —oh, yes he
will, good man !*'
• •Ah! hero he is, the dear, kind soul—how
quick he lieeds the call,
H.gardhss of the drenching blast, or what
might him betall,
Like a being from realms celestial, a shining,
lie conies with gladness in his looks, the lov
ing, smiling ASOF.I..
And my wife's already easy—ah! deepest,
matchless skill !
Dear Doctor, love's pure 'motions for you my
! he Doctor is not human, though earth is by
lie's something supernatural—l believe be is a
SCENE CJIANUES— ItiLL HANDED IN.
But what is this presented / the saucy, dirty
Me cares not for his patients, hut only for him
It he can only cobble up a long o'errcaching
lie cares not, if his nasty drugs effect a cure,
FACE 3D V.\i> EAST.
Dear oh ! hut he's a wicked dog—l swear by
lie's 'scaped from out that dark abode where
dwelleth fiends infernal!
He's a ranting, rank inrposter—he's filled with
(Mi! how I'd tore to rune him now, the skulk
ing, shameless DEVIL.
R EF LECTIONS
'listhus the Doctor's visage, chameleon-like,
Three aspects in his patient's eyes, as before
them up lie looms.
His first and second faces are all that's pure
His third a frightful monster, adorned wit!: Sa
Maltreated mortal! luckless wight; self-sacri
He toils 'midst pain ami suffering,—does all
the good he can.
Through day and night, aed wet and cold, his
labors never cease,
The pest-house, with its poisonou.^breath, is
his perpetual lease.
Ami onward, still, lie struggles; his mind is not
But ever, where 'tis found or met, he's grap
pling with disease,
And if for sympathy he looks—does he get it t
Is heaped up foulest curses—maledictions on
And why's it thus/ the secret's plain, 'tis not
because they're due;
Tis not because tile Doctor to his patient's
not been true,
Hut the reason is, that after he's done with
hole and pill,
He hands the mean, ungrateful scamps a whole
.tome little bill.
SUPREME JUDGES IN THE OLDEN TIME.
—We lear from the "Anuals of Ilarrisburg,"
* historical work now iu press, that during the
; iino Congress held its sessions at York, Chief
•I'tstioe McKean resided at Harrisburg. "He
lived in a substantial one story log house a
hort distance above what is now called Locust
-treat. He woio an immense cocked bat, and
!: 'l great deference shown him by the country
neople and tho straggling Indians who bad
'aeir village a short distance above town. —
he and the other Judges of the .Supreme
buurt came to town to hold court, numbers of
the citizens would go out on horseback to meet i
l£ *eai and escort them to town. Sometimes one
r 'wo hundred people would attend on tbisoc
"nion, and each morning, while the Chief Jus
""e was in town holding court, the sheriff and
'j ostahles escorted him from his lodgings to
'e court room. When on the Bench he sat
cocked hat on, and was dressed in a
by can uo ariist give a eorrrct likeness of
fid unmarried }ao\ 7 <
Because she is sure to l-e Miss-represented. >
A Weekly Paper, Devoted to Literature, t'olitics, the Art 3, Sciences, Agriculture, &c., &c—Terms: One Dollar and Fifty Cents in Advance.
Dreaming on Wedding Cake.
A bachelor editor out West, who had re
-1 ceived from the fair hand of a bride, a piece
|of rlegant wedding cake to dream on, thus
! gives the result of his experiment:
"We put it under the head of our pillow,
shut our eyes sweetly as au infant, blessed with
!an easy conscience, and snored prodigiously.
Tho god of dreams gently touched us, and, in
fancy, we were married .' Never was a little
editor so happy. It was'my love,' 'deare3t,'
'sweetest,' ringing in our ears every moineut.
Oh ! that ihe dreaui had broken off here. Hut
no ! some evil genus put it into the head of
i our ducky to have pudding for dinner just to
please her lord.
In a hungry dieam we sat down to dinner.
Well, the pudding moment arrived, and a huge
slice almost obscured from sight the plate be
'.My dear,' said we, fondly, 'did you make
'Yes love, ain't it nice!'
'Glorious—l he best bread pudding 1 ever
tasted in mv life.'
'Plum pudding, ducky,' suggested my
'O, no, dearest, bread pudding. I was al
ways fond of 'em.
'Call that bread pudding V exclaimed my
wife, with her lips slightly curled with'con
'Certainly, my dear—reckon I've had enough
at the Sherwood (louse to know bread pudding,
; my love, by all means !'
'Husband—this is really too bid—plum
I pudding i ; twice as hard to- makevw bread pud
ding, and, and is more expensive, and is a great
deal better. I say this is plum puddiug, sir !'
and my pretty wife's brow flushed with cxcite
'My love, my sweet, my dear love,' ex
i claimed we soothingly, 'do not get iingry, I
j am sure it is very goo-1, if it is bread pnd
'You mean, low wretch,' fiercely replied my
j wife, in a higher tone, 'you kuow it's plum
'Then, ma'am, its so meanly put together,
! and so badly burned, that the devil himself
wouldn't know it. I tell you, madam, most;
j distinctly and emphatically, audi will pot be
! contradicted, that it is bread pudding, uJ the
I wor.-t kind at tha'.'
'lt is pitrm pudding,' shrieked my wife, as
she liuu.'d a glass of claret in my face, the
! glass iisell tipping the claret from my nose,
j 'litcad padding,' gasped we, pluck to the
las', and grasping a roasteff chicken by the left
j 'Plum pudding,' rose above the din, as I bad
a distinct perception of feeling two plates
! smash across my head.
'Bread pudding!' we groaned in a rage,
1 as the chicken left our hand, flying with swift
wing across the table, landed in madam's bo
'Plum pudding,' resounded the war-cry from
the enemy, as the gravy dish took us where wo
hid been depositing the first part of our dio
! ner, and a [date of beets landed upon our
i white vest.
'Bread pudding forever." shouted we in dc
: fiance, dodging the soup tureen and filling bc
! ncath its contents.
j 'Plum pudding ." yelled the amiable spouse,
j as noticing our misfortune, she determined to
' keep us down, by piling upon our head the
| dishes with no geuile hand. Then, in rapid
1 succession, followed the wurcries. 'Plum
puddiug, she shrieked, with every dish.
'Bread pudding !" in smothered tones, cam"
up from the pile in reply. Then it was 'plum
pudding' iu rapid succession, the former cry
growing feebler, till, just as I cau distinctly
recollect, it had grown to a whisper. 'Plum
| pudding' resounded like thunder, followed by
a tremendous crash, as my wife leaped upon
the pile with her delicate feer, and commenced
: jumping up and down—when, thank heaven,
we awoke aud thus saved our life. Wo shall
never dream on wedding cake again—that's
j the moral.
SINGULAR STORY.—Tho Court Journal has
the following interesting story. A prima don
na of the lloyai Italian Opera who has lately
risen to great fame and acquired a first rate
position on these boards, has just been claimed
as his daughter by one of the highest function
aries of the country. The claimant is posses
sed of rank, wealth and influence, and though
it was well kuowo in the young lady's family
that the great man in question was in reality
her father, yet no notice of the connection was
, taken by him until her successful debut caused
him to feel a pride in his offspring. His anti
musical tastes had prevented him following her
through her musical education, aud ho was
therefore as much surprised as delighted at
her success. He has just made her an official
offer of recognition aud formal adoption, witu
the bestowal of his name and wealth, in ad
dition to the advantage of tho magnificent
position to which he would raise her. But she
has surprised hiiu still more by the manner of
"My father refused to recognize me while 1
was iu poverty aDd obscurity, now that lam
celebrated and rich, 1 refuse to recognize him.
Let us be strangers to each other.
DIED ON HER KNEES.—Mrs. Oathariuo Til
den, wife of Mr. Daniel Jones, of Gleomore,
Kent county Md., died very suddenly, recent
ly, aged 54. She arose iu her usual health,
and before starting for Sabbath School retired
to her private 10010 for hcrmoruing devotiutis,
"Jesus, lover of my soul,
Let me to thy bosom fly."
And there upon her bended knees she ceas
ed at once to pray and live.
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY. NOVEMBER 26, 1858.
Wo believe this pleasant amusement for hoys
und girls, and sometimes those of more mature
age, originated in Germany, where it is called
viel liebchen, which, as it is spokeo, has the
sound of phxtipkin, which may have been the
origin of our word, to which we have given a
Latin termination, pena, because it infers a
penalty or forfeiture exacted or won by the
tact or management of the winning party. —
With us the thing is managed, however, exces
sively clumsy and without skill. A person in
company chances to find a douhlo-meated al
uioud, and hands the half meat 10 nnother, and
says, or rather should say,' Will you eat a phi
lopena with me? Tho other may say, '1 am
afraid,' and refus.- or may accept one of the
Dins, and eat it at the siuio time tho challeng
ing party eats tho other. Thus they separate;
tut wheu thoy meet again, the ono that- can
think to say 'philopona' first to the other wins
the forfeit, and his a right to name what it
-•hall be. Generally, atnoug children, some
trifle, or, among young folks, sonic little pres
ent, suitable to the condition of the parties. —
| Thus, a young lady who wins a philopona of a
! gentleman may immediately add: 'I wear No.
6 kids.' If the parties meet in tho street, tho
I lady may say: 'O, yes, I see you notice that
'my parasol is gettiug old. Well, then, I ac
i copt.' But the gentleuidu must ucver allude
!to her want of an article, but exercise his
! judgment as to what wocld bo acceptable.—
j Generally, in our haste to win a philopenn, we
' forget propriety, and become rude in this land
of ihriit and hurry. The thing is far better
I and more pleasantly managed in Germany, and
1 calls into exercise some of the most useful fao
| ulties of the mind. When a couple meet the
next time after hiving eaten piiilopena togetli
; er, no advantage is taken of tho other until
one of tbeui pronounces the word philopena. —
This is the warning that the sport is to tegiu.
Let ns suppose that a gentleman calls upon a
lady; she iuvitos him to walk in, hut at the
same time speaks the talimiauic word. If he
accepts the offer to walk in, he is lost, unless
she removes the bun by te'ling him to go awiy.
If she asks him to take off his hat, he must re
solutely keep it on; Or if at a table she should
baud him -ny article which lie jtcceprs, she
wius the forfeit. At the same lime, he is
watching to calch her off hgr guard —for the
first acceptance of any offer from the other
ends the game. Both are constantly cxercis
ing their wits to prevent being caught, and the
port often goes on all the evening. Perhaps
the gentleman brings a little present, saying:
'Knowing that I should lose my piiilopena, 1
have brought it along—here it is.' If she is
caught off her guard by this smooth speech,
she lose", for he immediately claims forfeit. If
neither wins at first meeting, the sport is con
tinued at the second: and it may happen that
half a dozen putties meet at the saiue time, all
anxious to win of their pbilopcui partners,
,so that the scene often becomes ludicrously
How preferable is this German play to our
own. And as the sport derived trout piiilope
na is very inuoeeot and pretty, we commend it
!to the young folks of America.— Welcome Vis
EARTHQUAKE PANIC IN LONDON.
There were, in 175U, wild prophecies and
alarming convulsions of nature, such as Eng
land has yet little known. The first days in
• February were as sultry as tho hottest days in
June; thunder and lightning were frcqueDt ;
; and on tbc eighth of the month the first shock
Jof an earthquake was felt throughout London
aud Westminster. On the same day iu the
j month the inhabitants were awakened from
their slumbers by their pillows rising, their
| bolls ringing, aud a strange rumbling as of
carriage wheels. It was said that Sir Isaac
Newton had foretold that there would be a
great change at this time, aud had expressed a
; wish that he could live to see the phenomenon.
|As the second shock had occurred exactly a
i month after the first, it was affirmed that earth
| quakes were now to he periodical iu England ;
! aud a mad lifcguardsuiau prophesied that the
next shock, which was punctually to take place
on the Bth of April, would swallow up the
metropolis. The panic uow became general.
On the day before that of tho anticipated ca
lamity, the roads were crowded with carriages
of the fashionable aud wealthy, hastening out
of the devoted capital. Seven hundred aud
thirty coaches passed Hyde Park Corner that i
morning. Woiueu made themselves flannel
wrapper?, which they called earthquake gowns,
in order to sit up all night in the open air.—
Not a bed could he procured iu Windsor. All
the lanes and fields iu the neighborhood of
Loudon were blocked up wl'h carriages, carts
and other vehicles, full of people of all ranks, j
waiting with trembling anxiety until the dread
ed hour hid passed. They then returned
laughing and exuitiog to the town, to resume,
as though their lives would never terminate,
tho same pleasures and the same occupations
in which they had for one moment been dis
turbed.—Life, and Times of Edmund Burke.
The wiud blowing a gale, as I passed the
corner of Winter and Treiuout streets, 1 no- i
ticcd a crowd of persons looking upward. I
found my old friend, Mr. Brown, iu the midst
—all eyes were centered on his obseivations.
At length a smart Yankee stepped up to him
'What is it sir? What is it?'
'Nothing; oh, nothing, my friend—l was
only looking to see how high the wiud is.'
Posiiiveuess is one of the most certain marks
of a weak judgment.
PraiSe not the uuworthy, though they roll iu
Dividing a Dead Arch-duchess,
We translate the following curious details
from a German private letter recently received
from Vienna : -
'Tho llapsbdrgs (tho reigning house of Aus
tria) while li#iug must be reverenced; when
dead they must be worshipped. As a proof of
this, let me relate to yon what disposition was
made of the body of the Archduchess Marga
ret (whose death was sometime since announc
ed.) Archdueal dust must not return to dust,
aud priestly cunning and monarchical tradition
call for the enactment in ono of the largest and
most brillaint Capitals of Europe, of a drama,
fit only to be performed by baibarians iu tbe
dark ages. *-
'The Saxon PriuceS3 Margaret, wife of the
Archduke Oiiafles, was laid upon a block aud
chopped to pieces, iu order to send different
parts ot the body to various parts of tho coun
try. The chopping up process took place iu the
chapel of the Castle, in the presence of the
dead woman's husbaud. Extended on a red
draped block lay the nuked white corpse, sur
rounded by priests cbaoting iu Litin, youths
swinging censors, and a number of meu armed
with choppers", saws and other instruments.—
First the heart was cut out of the body, enclos
ed iu a golden ease, and placed in an urn. It
was thcu sen! to Rome, to be cousecrated by
the Pope, after which it was sent to the Loretto
chapel, and Itienoe ictumed to Vienna. Rut
it was not lowest here. Ton cities claimed the
hoaur of Ming Homer's birthplace, and six
Austrian bimopricH claimeu the privilege of
possessing LU, or a pM"t, of the sainted Marga
ret's body.• F?afie bUbop of Prague would be
coutent witlulhe arms, the bishop of Salzburg
wishes to oblaiii the head aud shoulders, while
the bishop of Liuz anxiously desired to possess
the two uihklle fingers. Toe Vienna cousis
tory was ofeßged to decide betweeu thu clai
mants, and die heait was at length forwarded
to the cothtiou council of lispruck in Tyrol,
accompanied by two autograph letters of the
Areliduke oSarles—one of which was directed
to tbe chief ©f the Jesuits—iu which the hope
was expressed that 'Tyrol, the always faithful,'
would 'for all time cherish the memory of the
Archduchess, who was a samt upon earth.'
'llah the heart aloue beeu seperated from the
body, ?be-eiii>pppiM-u? process woulJsoou have
been fitmhe i; btlt the etiarcfr-dwcianded mare,
lleuce the Aruhduke binaries directed the cut
ting open o' Lis wife's abdomen—which was
done. Ihe intestines were taken out, placed
in copper, silver and goldcu capsules, and sent
with an autograph letter to the Gitthedrul of St.
Jjtepbcn, where the said intestines wete first
exhioited upon the altar, aud then buried be
neath the altar. Hereupon the two middle
tiugers were se'vert-d from the body, and seut
with another autograph letter to Dresden. All
that remained ot the Archduchess was then
wrapped iu red velvet, aud laid iu state ou a
catatalk: aua ultimately the muiilated corpso
was placed iu a coffin aud desposited iu the im
perial tomb.— Evening Post.
DROP A TEAR.—Many todchiug incidents of
the loss of the Austria have been related, and
many an eye has been dimmed iu their perusal
by the tear of sympathy ; but the foliowiug is
certainly the most affecting that we have seen.
It was related by one of the roscuod :
An Euglish lady who came ou hoLid at
Southampton with her husband, had three
children with her, a little girl, about five years
old, a boy about three, and a babe in her arms.
The husbaud jumped over and as the flames
grew hotter and burned more fiercely, she took
her little gill, kissed her, and threw her into
the water. She then took the boy, a fair heal
thy little fellow, embraced him, gave him her
last kiss, aud threw him in. Ho struck OD his
back and struggled very hard. Rising to the
surface three seperate times, he called out 1
"Mamma" each time, iu the most piteous tones,
I then sank to rise no more. The poor woman
then clasped her babe to her breast und jump
ed in with it,kissing it repeatedly as they sauk
to the bottom.
'George, what does C-A-T spell?'
'Don't know, sir.' • j
'AVhat does your mother keep to catch mice?"
♦No, no, what animal is very fond of milk?' j
'A baby, sir.'
'You duuee, what has scratched your sister's \
'My nails, sir.'
'I am out of all patieuce. There, do you
see thatuuiuial ou the fence?'
•Do you kuow its name?'
'Then tell uie what C-A-T spells.'
BLOODY MASSACRE.—In tho engagement J
between the reactionist forces and those of j
Viduurii iu Mexico, 400 of the luttur's uieu j
wore captured by the former, who, alter seeing j
them disarmed and taking from thein their most |
valuable equipments, ordered his sccmd iu J
command to take them from his sight aud do
with then as he thought fit. This inhuman
wretch, who well knew what would cusuc from
such a course, placed them in the hands of his
soldiery, who were just then in a beastly state
of intoxication. They fell upon the captives,:
who were entirely defenceless, and a horrible
massacre followed. Af_lhe end of the terrible
scene, the lifeless bodies of four hundred hu- ;
man beings were found - sti etched upon the
ground, mangled aud weltering in their blood, |
a patient sacrifice to the holy cause of liberty. I
JIM, I know of a new fashioned mackintosh
to keep out the wet. What is it, Jack 7 Why
eat a ted herring for breakfast, and you will he
dry all day.
| How they Gambled iu the days of
The vice, which, above all others, iufested
English society during the greater part of the
eighteenth century, was gaming. Man and
women, the old and the young, beaux and
statesmen, peers and apprentices, the learned
| and polite, as well as the ignorant aud vulgar,
; were alike iuvolvcd iu the vortex of play.—
Horce racing, cock fighting, betting of every
j description, with the ordinary resources of
cards and dice, were Ihe chief employment of
many, and were tampered with more or les3 by
; almost every person iu the higher ranks if
l'.fe The proprietory clubs—White's, Brock's,
Boodle's —were originally instituted to evade
the statute against public gaining houses.—
Every fashionable assembly was a gaming
j house. Large halls and routs had not yet
come into vogue. A hall seldom consisted of
more than ten or twelve couples and the prac
tice of collecting a crowd of tine people to do
| nothing is an invention of recent date.
When lady received company, card tables
were provided for all tho guests; and cveu
where there was dancing, cards formed the
ptineipal part of the entertainment. Games of
skill were seldom played. Brag, eriiu, basset,
ember, buzzard, commerce, spadille—the very
names of which are hardly known to the prcs
! ent generation—furnished the excitement of
play and enubled the people of fashion to wiu
and lose their money without mental effort.—
I Whist was not mueh in vogue until a later pc
i r:od, and was far too obstruse and slow to suit
; the depraved taste which required unadultera
ted stimulants. The ordinary stakes at these
mixed assemblies Would, at the present day, be
considered high, eveu at clubs where a robber
lis still alloweJ. The consequences ot such
gaming were often still more lamentable than
those which usually attend such piactises. It
would bappeu that a lady lost more than sho
j would venture to confess to a husband or fath
Her crcditur was probably a fine gcutleuiiD,
or she became iudehted to seme rich admirer
I for the means of discharging her liabilities.-
Iu either ease the rc-sult may be guessed. In
the one case, the debt of honor was liquidated
1 ou the old principle of the law merchants, ac
cording to which there was hut ouc alternative
|to payment in purse. In the other, there was
likewise but one mode iu which the acknow
ledgment ot obligation by a woman would le j
acceptable to a man of the world.— From j
JShssfs England during the reign of George
1 ' ■
A PLATFORM.—The Democratic editor of
the Southern Star, being sick, has entrusted his
paper to a friend, who is an old-line Whig, aud
an iueori tgible Kuow-Notbiog. To guard against
any apprehension that the politics of the State
will suffer under his administration, the editor
pro tern,, lays down the following platform :
1 We are opposed to spiritous, vinous, and
malt liquors, with, perhaps, a mental reserva
tion iu favor of Scotch ale and sherry cob
2. We are opposed to patent medicines, of
whatever nature, from the "Medicamentum
Gratia Probatum," down to "Dr. Gehogan's
Aydropiper" (Phooebus! what a name!) via
"Goeliekc's Matchless Sanative."
3. Wo are in favor of lettiug the "Retired
Physician's sands of life" run out.
4. We are iu favor of the passage of an act
declaring the Mobile and Ohio railroad naviga
ble to this placo.
Lastly—Wc are in favor of crinoliue under
all circumstances, except in equestrian perfor
These principles, wc believe, do not conflict
with the political opinions which our frieud has
so ably advocated in the columns of the Star,
aud upon his recovery wc will "transmit them
unimpaired" to his keeping.
FEW THEORIE AS TO THE COMET.—Perhaps,
as comets are both luuiiuious aud transparent,
and ghosts likewise, according to some ob
servers, both shine themselves and are also
diaphanous ; comets are tho ghosts of departed
planets. Natural as well as supernatural sub
stauces, however, both reflect aud transmit the
rays of light; and your comet generally has
a tail. Analogies subsist throughout nature.
May uot a comet be a planet iu the first stage
of its development, a celestial body corres
ponding to a terrestrial tadpole ?— Punch.
'Are you a skillful mechanic ?'
'What can you make?'
'Ob, almost anything in my line.'
'Can you make a devil?'
'Certainly—just put up your foot and I will
split it in three seconds. I never saw a chap
in my life that required less alteration.'
A noteworthy marriage took place in Hart
ford, a few days since, between two persons of
high revolutionary descent, viz: J. Warren
Newcoinb. Jr., great-grandson of General Jo
seph Warren, and Mary S., youngest daughter
of the late Dr. George Sumner, and groat
daughter of General Israel Putnam.
EGYPTIAN BONDAGE.—Piodorus says, that
among the ancient Egyptians, one of the con
ditions of all marriage contracts was, "that
the husband should be obedient to his wife."—
Wc have often heard of Egyptian boudage, but
never knew it had been carried so far as this.
Can be whose sole yearns for the immortali
ty of Heaven ever be given up to di.-pair. here?
Beyond tumultuous billows, aud over moun
tains wrapped in gloom, is there not a light
i' irring to cheer the pilgrim and the wayfarer?
VOL. 31, NO. 48.
[ A LITERARY OMNIBUS DRIVER.
The New York correspondent of ibe (JVirleS
ton Courior relates the following biography of
an omnibus driver, whose acquaintance he made
during a uigbt ride on one of "the lines in New
Talking as two people naturally will do,
when journeying together, it was impossible
not to Dotice that the driver of the car had
seeu better days and had pursued very differ
ent avocations. The comet was biaziug away
iu the western sky. This furnished a topic of
couversation. Instead of trying to illuminate
the diiver ou the causes, conditions, and theo
ries of these curious celestial visitors, I now
learned that he knew more about tfacm than I
did. He went beyond this topic, ud began to
discourse meteorology, astronomy generally,
mathematics, &c. His wonderful learning, the
extent and thoroughness of his reading, al
most bewildered inc. But my surprise could
uot be iuiugiucd, when, iu illustration of some
thought, this driver of au uveuue cor quoted a
line from Virgil. Horace, too, afterwards fur
nished one or two sententious sayings to this
It was a natural desire, but a very delicate
matter, to learn the history of such a person.
Slowly aad timidly the facts came out. He
bad been tn better circumstances. Though
never a student a! any college, ho had used ev
ery advantage that offered, and grasped at the
fruits cf knowledge wherever they hung in the
garden of his experience. At first, in mercan
tile Lusioess he was swindled by a partner,
and left almost without a penny. He made
another effort, and went on tvrimmingly for a
while. Iu the hour of sunshine he got mar
ried- The crisis of last fall came, and every
thing was swept away; and instead of stunding
alone upou the desolate shore of life, he had
another to look after aud care for, even more
helpless thau himself. The thought of his wife
being left to penury and misery buoyed him up
to do anything to spare her these inflictious.
Ihere wa9 several kinds of employment at
which he could make a small pittance, though
many of them were precarious. As a driver of
a public car he was sure of $1.50 a day, iho'
the business was laborious, and, to bitn, degra
ding. But even these objections had no ter
rors for him when he thought of Ler whom he
had pledged to protect. And every day, from'
eleven o'clock in the morning till twelve o'-
clock at night, this accomplished driver is ma
king his trips up and down the Sixth avetyue,
taking iu his five cent fuics with the equanimi
ty of a philosopher. I wouder if the persons
who travel with hiin ever iin igino that the Je
hu over their heads could instruct them iu the
classics, or unfold to them his wonderful stores
of kuowledge. This is uo romance. Ttm
facts were derived from the driver himself, and
it is another instance of what a man could do,
however low he may be got down i the world,
if heouly makes up bis mind to conquer or
PLEAS AN r SCENE JN A COURT ROOM. —The
following ludicrous scene took place in a New
York Marine Court, between two gentlemen of
the bar—the one rather fat, and the otLer rath
Brother Fat (To the Court.) — ; I don't care
what Mr. says; he's only a mosquito, and 1
don't miud the sting.'
Brother Small.— 'I beg your pardon, Mr.
;but it is a fact in natural history, that
mosquitoes never sting hogs.'
Brother Fat.—'ls it so Mr. f then you
had better iuform your acqaintanees of it, they
will be glad to hear of it.'
Brother Small.—'Allow me then, Mr. ,
to communicate the fact to von among the
Here the court, amid atoar of laughter call
ed the gentlemen to order.
Some of the horse tamers accomplish won
ders. One of them said the other day ;
'VYhv, I've taught my horse to sit at the ta
! ble, and eat boiled rice with a silver fork.'
'lmpossible!' said his friend; 'how could a
horse eat rico with a silver fork?'
•Well,' was the reply, '1 didn't mean exactly
a silver fork; it was one of those plated ones—
four dollars a dozen.'
TRUE. - It is extraordinary how many de
fects we can discern in a fiiend after we have
quarreled with him. The same remark applies
to a women after she has rejected us.
Dr. Donne, an old English writer, is the ou
thor of the following epigram:
"Smugg, the smith, for ale and spice,
Sold his tools—but kept his vice."
The Mayor of Portsmouth, Va., it is said,
has taken measures for the arrest and fining of
every persou, no matter of what rank or con
dition, who is heard sweariug in the streets.
The proof of a pudding is in eatiug; the
proof of a woman is in making a pudding; and
the proof of a man is in being able to dine with
A coquette treats a lover like a bouquet—
carries him about a certain time for amusement
or show, and then quietly picks him to pieces.
You have only yourself to please ,said a mar
ried friend to au old bachelor. Yes, Lut you
don't know what a difficult task 1 find it.
INTEGRITY, however rough, IS better than
Lo>o no opportunity of doing a gt-od action,
1 tiuic is short.