BY DAVID OYER. | tI pr t pot r i]. ■"'MY r '? - ' - - Wt, WHEN I AM OLD. When I am old—and, O how soon Will life's swoet morning yiel 1 to noon And noon's brna-l. fervid, earnest light B ■ sha I 'd in the solemn night ! Tiff, like a story well nigh toll, Will st in my life—when I ant old. When I ui oi l, this bre zy earth "Witi lose for me its voice of mirth— i'lia streams will have an under one 0 sadness not by rifht their own. And spring's sweet power in vain ucfi 11 In rcsy charms—wli-n I am old. When I am old, I shall not care To leek with fi overs my fi I 'd hiir ; 'Twill be no vain desire of mine In rich and cosily dress to shine: Bright jewels and the brightest g. 11 IVill charm m; naught—vlfcea Ia u oil . When lam • Iff, my friends will be . Old. and infirm, and bowed, like me; Or else, their Ixwli • 'ne.ith the sod, I'heir spirits dwelling safe with God, Theold church l*ff! will long have tilled Above the rest—when I .m i Id. Wh.n I am old I'd rather bend Thus sadly o'et each hurried friond, Than see them lose the est nest truth, That marks the friendship of our youth; 'TwiU be so ?ad to have them coll 'f)v strange to me—when I am old! When lam old—() how it seems Like the wild lunacy of drei as, To picture i-i propheic rhyme That din?- far distant, shadowy time; So distant that i; seems o'er bold Even to sjy-— < When I a:a zlJ.l' When I em i l l—perhaps ere then 1 sh 1! be missed from haunts of tueti; Perhaps my dw lling will b found Beneath tli green ami quiet mound, My namely stranger hands enrolled Among the dead— ere I am old. Ere I am r the whole year is to rely. April is, per haps, the moat important month iu the whole season. T — * EARLY PLANTS. —A very convenient me.th | od of starting early corn, sugar cane, cabbage, j tomatoes, cucumbers, and indeed almost any i kind of plants, is the following: Take an under sod, (not too grassy,) or te j aaeeous muck and cut it into cubes, say two j inches ears of age. Tiie hnde was certainly a | very pretty girl. Mj >r Green gave Iter away. I wished Mrs. Brill had stayed at hone 1 ; fo? her mind was always running on matters of bu-i sines-, and she mole uo laugh iu (lie church,, close to the altar, by saying seriously, in A whisper, 'She'll runic nicely or. the fund, cir* tic', as a colonel's widow, if anything happen? to old Baxter! It's a fraud! lie ought to be usliamed of himself! 1 wish the oi l woiur.n'.Y ghost could walk in just now, ami woaf was the ore cf her saving aud pinching at slu did. Tins young woman will spend it all you know. I should like to catch Brill making such a fool of hitiiself, after"/'#; dead and gone, and ducks at:d drakes of all I have scraped tos liher. When Fm dying, I'll burn every bit of company's paper, or tear i- into little bit.s aud throw it into the chicken both I shall c 4 fur on purpose; and then, if Brill likes to mar ry again, let him. It will ba quite of riumiL' 'Hush!'said I. 'The parson is looking at - VOU \. . I 'Well, let him lo k, the pasty faced ma.;| said Mrs. Brill. 'I think ho might have put a clean Si t you may call it, surplus,' (she meant surplice,) 'although it is a dirty bust - mvs im is etigaged iu—nurryiug nit old paint ed man to a mere child. There were wo pity iug oid Baxter not long ago, when the oil la - d| died; and now you sec tlicit: aio.ali tliect.A nets envying Litu. The world is full i f 'hyjc pa;risy art ! humbug. What can that youtiy girl cote at tut il.bt obi thing? It L , not in human i.aturo. 'Flo w i sto Le Mis. Colonel Bax'cr, and have a catriugo ;.nd paii aiid.aU Ac rest ofi .' ' v 'So long a? ye both shall live,' said :be elcr gymaH, eoneluoing tiie vow. 'I will/ said tho colonel. 'I wili." echoed Mrs. Brill in a load whis per. 'M i'V, I'L three-score and ten is up al ready—so that his promissory note is overdue before be m ikes it.' I could contain myself r.o longer. I titur ed aloud. My wife, who WAS leaning on ID. arm, gave me a look expressive of extreme distrust; but it did not reduce mj to graviiy,— On tbe contrary, it provoked me to titter loud ly age in. 'For richer and poorer.' When the old (Jul. came to these words, Mrs. Brill whispered to nie, '11.• 11 be pooret pretty soon, I warrant vou, l Givt thee my trot/;!' she repeated after the j colonel. 'Bring her on the fund, aud give | her a pension! I say it's a fraud!' 'Willi this ring I thee wed,' old Baxter fee bly repeated after the clergyman. 'W i:h this fiddlestick!' whispered Mrs. Brill carrying on her commentary loud enough for me to hear her. 'I have no patience with ao old man who paiuts hischeeks, and dyes Lis hair, and comes to church clothed in such abominable falsehood.' 'Yea, and thou shall see thy oliildtcn's chil dren,' said iho minister. 'Ghiidien's children, indeed! Now the very idea/ Mrs. Brill. "You had Letter leave the church, Robert," whispered my wife, 'if you cannot behave bet ter.' Mrs. Brill heard her, and replied. 'He had better stay where ho is. You wouldn't bsnre him cry, would you V "Hugh ." said I, in an agony of fear lest Mrs. Brill should come to words with my wife, and interrupt the ceremony. 'Spot or wrinkle, or any such thing.' When the minister came to these words Mrs. Brill was | very indignant. 'Spot or wrinkle!' she repeated, 'tie has fil led up all the wrinkles with white paint and j putty! 1 cotild pick it out with a penknife! The old man is a waiking fraud. I've no patience with hia ; and I will say so at tho breakfast. Briil is on tlie staff, and can no longer Le bul lied by any ragauiuffian of a commanding offi cer. #**# My wife, when we came out of church, beg ged at' inc not fo sit near Mrs. Biill at be breakfast. But iff what avail was uiy promise, since Mrs Brill was determined to sit next to tut? "Robert, there is room for you here/' said my wife, when we were about to bo seated, and she pointed to a vacant, chair. Mrs, Briil ob served her look and said. "Don't bo alarmed, Mrs. Wotherby. Al though bulling they say is catching, when it gets iuto a regiment, don't suppose I'd bo so weak as to go off with tbe cornet, Brill on the staff." Sophy roared with laughter; and so did eve ry ouo who heard Mrs. Brili's remark. "Have you congratulated tbe colonel?" 1 in quired of Mrs. Brill. "No said she, "and 1 don't infond. lam not au impostor aud hypocrite, liku some other la dies whom I could mention." (She looked ui my wife.) "1 always speak my feelings. An honest man's tLo uoblest work of God—aud *o's a woman." I tilled Mrs. Brill's glass several times with obauipagre, and the beverage appeared to im prove her teuiptr. I trod upon her toe by acci dent, end she looked blandly in my face and said: I "Don't flirt with mo, cornet, before your wile. or you'll be unking her unhappy, poor thing ; | and she's not a bid creature, though she look? [ a wretched dawdle, and his no more .idea ol housekeeping than a black-brush has. It was unfortunate that she chummed with Mrs. File teigii, for hoi character is compromised by it, poor-thing. Don't flirt with in •, cornet. Brill, too, has got his bleary eyes on us." i memoes TIIEHSIOHICTEU. At IG, impatient palpition towards tiia la dies. At 17, Blushing and confusion in conversing with them. At 18, Confidence in conversing with them increased. At 19, Angry if treated by them as a boy. At 20; Very conscious of his own charms and manliness. A: 21, A looking glass iu his room indispea sitfle—to admire himself. At 22. Insufferable puppyism. At 23, riiinxs uo woman good enough for him. At 24, Caught unawares ty the snares of Cupid. At 25, The connexion broken off, for self conceit oil his own part. Ar 2G, Conducts himself with much superi ority toward.* her. At 27, Pays his addresses to another la dy, not without the hope of mortifying the first. At 23, Mortified and frantic at being refu. sed. At 29, Rails against the fair sex ia gene ral At 30, M nose ari l out of humor Iu ail con versation on matrimony. At 31, Contemplates matrimony move under the influence <>t ids inter est than formerly. At 32, Considers pus-ma.] beauty iu a wife not so indi-pens ib e as formerly. At 33, Hiili maintain* a Ugh opiuiou of his own a-, tractions as a hush and. At 31, Consequently has jo idea but he may still at ir*y a "chicken." Ai 35, Fulls deeply and violently iu love with one o{ seventeen, j At 3fJ, Another refusal, j At 37, Indulges ij every kind of dissipa i tien. i At 38, Shuns the best part of the female . ■ r - ■** * At 30, Suffers much remorse and mortifica tion on so doing. At 40, A fresh budding of matrimoaial ideas—no spring shoots. At 41, A very nice young widow perplexes him. At 42, Ventures to uidres- her with miwed sensation,.of luvc and it.ti n'?t. At 43, ititci-st prevails, wtiieh causes much cautious refl eii"u. j At 41, The widow jilts him, being as aau tious as himself. At 43, Becomes every day mote averse to -the fai'- s< x. At 4(3, Gouty and nervous symptoms begin to appear. At 17. Fears what may become of him when old and infirm. At 43, Thinks living "alose ' quite irk some. j At 49, Resolves to have a very prudent 'young' woman as Lions;keeper and compan ion. At 50, Nervous affectation about him, and fnqnent atfajks of the gout. At 51, Much pleased with his own bouse, i keeper us a nurse. j At 52, Begins to feet'soma' attachment to j he;*. At 53, His pride revolts at the idea of mar j ryinq her. At 54, I* in very great distress how to net. At 55, Completely under bor influence and ! miserable. I At SG, Many painful thoughts about purt j ing with her. At 57, She refuses to live any longer with him solo. At 58, Gouty, nervous and biliious to ex -0 £3. At, 59, Falls very ill, sends for her to his bedside, and intends espousing her. At 60, Grows iapidly worse, has his will made iu her favor, and makes his exit. —Punch. ' LETTER OF A DYING WIFE TO lIEU HUSBAND. The following touching fragment of a letter | from a dyif.g wife to her husband, was found by him some months after her death, between the leaves of a religious volume, which she was very fond of perusiug. The letter was svrittcn long before bet husband was aware that the grasp of a fatal disease had fastened upon the lovely form of his wife, who died at the early ago of nineteen: "When this shall reath your eye, dear George, some day when you are turning over the relics of the pufct, 1 sisall have passed away forever, and the cold white stone will he keeping its lonely watch over the lips you have so often pressed, and the sod will be growing green that shall hide forever from your sight the dust of one who has often nestled close to your warm heart. For many long and sleep less liight®, when all besides my thoughts were I at rest, I have wrestled with a consciousness | of approaching death, until at l in December last, there wasuotu iog that struck us so forcible as the samples, ' have wound himself round arms and body as to prevent a knife from being used. I have n u doubt that they have power sufficient to crush any tuau to death in a few seconds, did they once got themselves comfortably settled rouud bis rib-; but I hover heard of such a ease dur ing my residence at Natal, although I made every inquiry from the Kaffir/.* Formally there was a groat deal of supersti tion among the Kaffirs'with regard to this snake, >nd a person who billed one Lad to go through a quarantine of purify tug; now. how ever, tb y do not seem to care much uLotu them, i saw an old inau near the Umbilo river fi tun tig a largo boa constrictor to tho groan*l with several as-aigea to prevent i'a '*i igc*no had about a dozen difforeut ones stuck into h.s body, and seemed to think a few more would uo no Jie rold me that the suake was a great rascal, and had killed a e.df ol bis, some time before, that he hid iong watched the opportunity of catching it 00101' its bole, arm ut lust found it so, when a smart free of some yards ended in the Kaffir assay ing the veal eater.—Sporting Scenes amongst the Kaffirs of South Africa, by L'aptaffi \ \V Draysoß, fi.'A. l*. HEADING ONE'S OWN OBITUARi'. lu the days of old Myeail, the publisher of the Newport (Mass.) Herald, ( i journal $(]:! alive and flourishing.) the Sheriff of old Essex, Philip Bigiey, had been asked several times to pay up hi- arrears of subscription. At lastMio told Mycai that he would certainly 'hand over* the next iiiurning as sure as he lived. 'lf you don't got your money to-morrow, you si-ry be sure I am dead,'said he.' The morrow came aui passed, but no money. Judge or the Sheriffs feedings when, on the morning of the day after, he opened tho •♦Herald," and saw announced the lamented decease of Philip Bagley, Esq., High Sheriff cf the county of E-sex, with au obituary no tice attached, giving the deceased credit for a good uiany excellent traits of character, but adding that he bad one fault very much to bo deplmd—bo was not punctual in paying the printer. Bagley, without waiting for his breakfast, started fur the Herald office. Ou the way it struck him as singular that, none of the many frieiids and acquaintances be met seemed to be 'surprised (o meet him. They must have read the morning papers. Was it possible Utey cared so little about hint as to have forgo tie u already that he wis no more. Full of pertur bation, he entered the printing office to deny that he was dra 1. 'Why, Sheriff" exclaimed the facetious edi tor, 'I thought you were defunct.' 'Defunct!' exclaimed the Sheriff. What put that idea into your head?' 'Why, yourself, * said MyeaM. Did you not tell me ' •Oo! ah! yes' I see,' st.imuiei* J out tho Sheriff. 'Wei', !here's your money,! AfiS now contradict the report in your next paper, if you please.' ♦That's not necessary, friend Bagley,'paid the oi l joker, 'it was only prinft-a in uoar copy Tko good Sheriff lived for many years after this 'sell,' and to the cay of Lis leal death al ways took care to pay the printer. Weightjlif the Cabinet. —A oorrespoc dent of tho Boston Journal snys . "The prescut cabinet is composed of "men of weight," as 1 noticed to-day, on a register kei-t at tlis Smithsonian Institution. Howell Cobb is set down at 2 1< 1 poatias, Gcvcruor Brown at 177; Secretary Tourey U K>(>, Secretary Thompson at 117, and Gov. Floyd 139. I should judge that General Cass wi'l weigh near ly 200 pounds, although ha is not as fleshy as he was a few years since, lie is very active tor one of his age, and walks to the department of State almost every morning without an over coat, aud with ati elastic step. The only way to cure a boy of staying oat iuto at nights, is to break bis iegs, or get tho Calico ha runs with to do tho house work. A Goud Heoplator. —"How late w it?" "Look at t'uo boss and sea if he is drunk yet, if ho is not, it can't be much after eleven o'- clock." •Does be keep good tinw?' 'Splendid! tbuy regulate lowti clock by his nose.' AJ< ICE. — A fellow stole u saw, and on his tri il tol l the Judge he only took it in a joke. ♦How fr did you carry ii'' asked the judg-\ ♦Two miicf,' answered tb : prisoner. 'Ah! that's eany iog e joke too fur" remarked tbo judge, uad ".ha prisoner got three months, unrequited lab".-.