SELECT .-ILTSCELLANY.I IN TIM yr!, "But, Jut, You Hreeet, Asked Xe To:" It was a cloudy afternoon in July. The early morning had been prophet. le of a pleasant day; but, like treat many prophecies of the present time; had proved utterly false. ' Yet a Sun- day seltool—it was Presbyterian in its belief, and so did not care for a sprinklir%—Thad determinedly shut its eyes todthe threatenine look of the sky, and gone on a panic thirty miles from home.' But the henvy drops . of . rain, which fell about tee, middle of the day, drove them from their original place of destination, the famous Lionereek Bridge gorge. and sent them on some five miles more to the pleasant town of lior- wich.. The excellent music discoursed by the band which accompanied the ex cursionists. as well as the inherent curiosity of m an to look upon stran gers, attracted many of the residents of Norwich "down to the grove." where the picnickers were. Jack Haviland was one of the.rnany who could not resist the temptation —Jack and his friend Marion. Down they went to the grove, with one umbrella between them. Can any one hope to describe the feelings of a lonesome young man who wanders through a bevy of young girls, any one and every one of whom he desires to know? Jack was overflowing with that-inexpress ible feeling. And who Can blame him, or who would expect him to feel otherwise? He had been shut up for six long months, poring over "Parsons on Contracts"—a book so suggestive of love dreams—" Kent's Commentarb s," a "Law Glossary," and "Tomlin's Lqw Dictionary," till his nightly dreams presented a ghostly, troublesome phalanx of agents and principals, of persons who could and who would not make con traetsof &Weil que trust and non corn pus mentis, while above .them all towered Hugo Grotius, conversing in stately Laten jure bellt et pads, and of the laws of nation. Can any one censure Jack for feeling a long ing desire for a little human sympa thy and human contact? He listless ty leaned against a pine tree and looked around - him. Just then two young ladies came into the field of vision. One Jack knew, the other was a stranger, and the other w'as theone Jack immedi ately began to admire. She was of medium height, dressed simply, yet tastefully; a white Garibaldi waist— I believe Jack found out afterwards that was the name of it—belted in by a brOad ribbon, a dark skirt, over which was looped another striped black and white, and out from which peeped two pretty feet, incased in tnick but neat boots; a classical head —though Jack confessed to me, that - if the figure head which formed the frontispiece of his Iliad, and which was held up to innocent freshmen as that of the blind "old man elo quent," is classical, why, he didn't think hers was—with a great mass of hair, twisted into a grand - coil be hind, but not so firmly but tat stray curls had managed to creep out here and there to give themselves an air ing as the wind fluttered around her face; and it was such a sweet, comely face, withal, that Jack most heartily enyied the wind, and crowning all, was a tasteful bit of head-gear, such as is worn now-a-days. Jack stood under the pine tree and lost his heart. But he just might as well have lost it to the - will-o'-the wisp, a sprite, or some other fearful deception, for what passibility was there of his ever getting acquainted with his suddenly set up divinity, much less of— well, Jack hadn't as yet exactly defined it in his mind. But nature is a match-maker. A rather broad statement, do you say, gentle reader? Does not - the old couplet, —There's a divinity that shapes our ends, . Hough-hew them as we apply to match-making , as much as to any other comse of lifc? And do you want any better authority? Just then it began to rain. Jack had his friend's umbrella. It would not do to let her get wet, so without a word Jack opened the umbrella, stalked over to where she stood, and held it over her. He did it in such an honest, earnest way, she could not take offence. She looked,up in to his face and smiled. Jack smiled - . She laughed a low, rippling laugh, Jack a hysterically short one. "It's too bad it rains," said she, with the accent on the "too bad," just as girls always speak. "I don't know," blundered Jack In reply. She looked at him curiously, and said, "Well," in a self-interrogatory way, as though she might have said "What sort of an oddity are you?" and then laughed again. With that Jack laughed, and came to himself. Then he began to talk, and they got on grandly. The rain not ceasing, Jack walked home with her, for he found out that she lived in town. When they had arrived at the door, and she had thanked him for the use of the um brella, or rather the use of himself and the umbrella, Jack knew he (light to go, but—every young man knows how it is—he wasen:t quite read v. "My name," stammered lie, "is Jack—Jack Ilaviland." "And mine is Clin Stanley." "And I'm studying law here in town." "And I am stopping here for the sun - Mier with papa, I should he hap py to receive a cull from you." Then Jack went home. The next Jay Jack thought it all over. The one moment he called himself a fool, the next Chuckled over the action, and divided; with all the acumen of a country judge, to ward which position he had aspira tions, that it was rather 'cute," and if cute, why he, as the perpetrator, must be somewhat sharp, Now he was inclined to feel sorry and asham ed over it; then with an appeal to the principal heathen deity of his vocabulary, Jack expressed hinnselt as "deuced glad" it happened. so he went on in spirit alternating up and down, like a boy on a see-saw, provided the boy could ride both ends of the see-saw at once, which I suppose is an impossibility; but when evening came he went and called on the lady. She invited his: to call again. lie did so. In fact, he went several consecutive times. Three years Passed away. Jack had studied diligently, and now for six months had been a practicing lawyer, with every prospect of suc cess. All this time his devoted at tentions had been paid to Clio; yet in all that time not a word of love had paced. between them. Jack could not and would not ask her to love him until ho could offer her some thing more tangible thau passibiii ties. But now that he had mon his first citse and had obtained a settled busine, he felt the time to determ inehisfate had come; yet how "could it be One? The very thought dis tressed'bim. Could he—dare he ask her? Could. she know how much her answer would mean to him? If she said yea, what happiness, success; how much to live for? If she said no—he didn't dare to think. The More he thought over it, the more hehesitated and the more he delayedi-the harder it became. At last he determined it should he done. Clio met him as usual with a pleasantismile. Jack tried to smile, but it ebbed off his countenance, and 'was last In his"solemn expression," lust as a Riffle wave is often last in a arger. ICIle saw something was go ing to haPpen, and, woman like, di vined Intuitively what it was. But he had kept her waitinE in suspense and uncertainty so long that now, when it Was about to come, she de termined she would not help him in the lease,. Al length Jack °man: l'intiaving - considerable business !now." . • "Yes,' said she, very demurely, with a quiet little nod; then relapsed FMMV RESZ into silea Without itnothef Jack fidgeted , and thought. 'Why don't she say something and keep a fellow on?" "I've-get:SO now Ivati support - myw self and "I'm fight glad to hear it," said Clio. Jack felt somehow she was sport ing with him, and flashed up: .4you never heard that I didn't saptp.ofirtor )13,soultfthdien_you?, v, "But then? You know. Clio, that ever since I WAS fifteen--" "Never Mind," said Clio, "for It seems as though I have heard a sto ry commencing like that before, Jack." With that Clio smiled, and - Jack's momentary displeasure vanished; yet there was left on his mind the undefined impression that, after all. he had beeti sold. But the ice of re serve was broken. "To be plele, Clio, .i came down to tell you that I love you." Here came long pause. Jack looked at everythingin the room but Clio. It was getting exceedingly embamming to Jack. when there came a quiet "Well?" from Clio. "And to say," went on Jack, as though no interruption had occurr ed, "that I am in condition to get married." "That's a very desirable situation far any young man, I am sure," said Clio; and then she laughed that same low, rippling laughed he loved so. Poor fellow ! why couldn't he have interpreted th e' love for liim which rounded and mellowed that laugh? But no, he grew desperate, and, with the thought that she was tTorting with him, just a little an gry. "I might have known how it would end. Any fellow is a fool to dangle around a girl for three years," and he strode toward the d2or. His hand was upon It. "I might have known you woldn't have married "But tutned—"you haven't sato:lute -to." "Haven't asked you to?" Jack caught the look in ner eyes. The next moment she was in his arms. and her arms around his neck, and the fact is, Jack neve did ask the question. After the first happy months had passed, and the eestacies of the ac knowledged mutual love had effer vesced—that- word seems to express tbe idea about as well as any—Jack Vegan: "Darling, I have loved you ever since the first day in the grove. How long have you cared for me?" "Since I saw you standing so lone ly and looking sa down-hearted un der that pine tree." I think after that reply Jack kissed her. I know I should had I been he. The other day I visited Jack and his wife. In the yard in front of their home I saw a small pine tree, which they tend with the greatest care. I asked Jack where he found it. A smile and alook of peculiar significance passed between him and his wife, as he answered, "In the grove." ••,, JOSH BILLINGS' PAPERS THE LAM AND THE DC V The lam iz a juvenile sheep. They are born about the fast ow March, and menny ov them die just az soon az oreen peas eum. Lam and green peas are good, but not good for the lam. Lams are innosent az shrimps, they won't bight, nor skratch, nor talk sassy. They don't kno much, only to skip, turn aummemets on the grass, kik up their heels, pla tag, plague their mothers, and have phun generally. I luv the lam, i even luv them af ter they becutn mutton, i lu'v lams ov all kinds, i had rather hay one lam than 4 wolfs. This may look -like oddness in me, but it is mi senti ments enny how. Mary had a little lam. I wisn I had a little lam, and if i had a good deal of lam it wouldn't diskourage me. Mary -waz a good girl—an orna merit tew her seks. Mary's lam waz a good lam—an ornament tew hiz or her seks, I don't remember which. It lz plezant tew reflekt that theze f, things are stubborn fakts. When a lam gits Hint being a lam, 1 they immediately beeum a sheep. This takes all the sentiment out ov • them. Tnare aitit much poetry in mut ton. Sheep are mutton. Mutton Iz Surntimes prekarious. When youth an innosense ov ennv kind groze old it ICaizes most all or its lamness. This fakt iz too well known tew re quire an affidavit'. The lam iz an artkile ov trade, az well az diet, they are wuth from four tew 10 dollars, ackording tew the way things am. It iz strange that so much innosense az the lam iz possessed ov should be for sale. It iz jist so with most all the inno sense anti purity in this world—it iz too often brought to the shambles. I suppoze, if i could hay my way, th• lam would stop growing when he got to be about S weeks old; but then, cum tew think oy It, this would . make mutton awful skarse. It would also make lams dredful plenty . It would also inkrease wolfs much, for i hay alwus notissed since i begun bizzness in this world that jiss in preposhun az lams got numerous, wolfs got numerous akordin. The bun haz a short. tail. Their tails are not short hi natur, but short by desi,ghn. During their early tatnkinness, in an unsuspekting moment, and quick er than litening, their dorsal etonga shun iz nipt in the bud. Not to be mistaken in this matter, and tew place the responsibility jilt where it belongs lam's tails are kut oph hi nian. This iz a mean thing for man todo; but man iz capable ov doing dread .ful mean things, jilt bekauze he iz a man. Man Hint satisfied tew do enny thing in this world nz he finds it. Latfixt are ov the mail and female perswashun. There are none ov the animals, that i kan remember ov now, teat are ov the nuter jender except the mule. I hay often seen men of the nuter jemler. If you dont beleave this, clime down whar i iiv and i will point them out to you. The femaii him iz the ilearest package of innosense and but!: known to natralists. A re:nail lam iz ml pride and hope. I luv the whole entire cougregash mi ov them. The mail lain soon gets raft. They hay horns which burst out of their beds, and when they eit advanced in the journey ov life, theze horns area hard thing tew kontradikt. I hay seen an aged mail lain knock a *)-hoss waggon into splinters with one I►lo ov their horns. This iz terrible if true. The mail lam when he arrives at hiz majority iz called therein. The . lain iz kivvered from child hood with a soft coating called wool, from which cloth izsedtew bemade, and also from whitch yarn iz sed tow be Thare iz a grate dale nv yarn.spun in:this world that haz no wool in it ; these yarns are called phitts. Phibs are not iinnsidered feroshus. Aphib iz a lie painted in water kul lers. There has been more phibs in mar ket since the formashnn ov man than thare haz been truth. phibs are often ingenious, Um tit* quite pretty, but are aiwus dangerous. Phibs are samtime3 a grate deal more plauzable than truth. Look out for them. • PhiberLhave been known tew be kum, liars, just az hot lemonade drinkers, with a little port wine in It just for effee.kt, hay beenknown tew ISOM belttliff,ait; MAL . vel fable , * Mate ' ' •TITE 'Din. OW tiny iz the lam artmeg blid4. 'they are az harmleee -at e dandy ton. They dont doenny hard work, but eat oats tuul bill and coo. They luv each other like a nu mar ried kupple. The duv alwus . have a good appe tight; they will eat from dalite tew dark and seem tew be sorry they didn't eat sum more. They area long lived "bunt and like the bumble bee, are the biggest when they are born. They resemble sum men in this resspekt. I never knu duv tew la down and di ovoid age. They are very thrifty, they inkrease phaster than the tnuttipaka shun table. ' 'They din like the menzlee, if yti hay got tew- hay a good menny ov Theduv hal existed a longtime, and was-one ov NosIVA pets when he _ The fast duv he sent out ov the ark, brought bak on olive branch, and thetext time he fent her t out, she didn't bring bak - en - hything. Sheeverifargat tew cum - bak , .her Noah had - but- one pair :av each breed of days in Nthearic, - and the one he sent otit,and4lte one he. had on *hand must haV . lntindelintlier, this exp lains the luv, and effeltshun, ov the (Inv. - ' The duv is more ornamental than useful. They aretew innosent tew be very • useful. Sumtimes tew much innosense. in- terferes , with bizziness. ` I hay known haff a dozen duvs tew git into a pie together, and make themselts aueful for a fu =lnuits. I dont hate (Inv pies. The