CII KS
RJ
WEEN EEE
$
% HONEYMOON
ICE CREAM
AND CAKE
(© by D. J. Walsh.)
5 ORTENSE APPLEBY came in
from the back yard, where
she had been hanging out the
weekly wash. Hortense was
“thirty-five, plump, rosy and good-
natured. She was known among her
friends as a good sport, always ready
for fun or frolic. She taught in the
graded school in her home town and
was well beloved by her pupils. Busy
.as she was, however, she still found
time to lend a helping hana to her
-mother, who was not very strong and
‘kept roomers. Before and after sghool
Hortense did the sweeping and dust-
“ing and Saturdays she arose with the
.sun and did the family washing. This
‘being Saturday and her regular wash-
.day she had donned her “regimen-
tals,” as she called them, and got an
early start, and now at ten o'clock
was ready to slip on a clean bunga-
dow apron, comb her hair and rest
for an hour hefore starting the mid-
day meal. She had just gone upstairs
when she heard a car stop before the
thouse, and soon after a step was
sheard on the porch directly under her
-evindow. She heard her mother go
+o the door in answer to a brisk ring.
_A brief conversation followed, after
-which she called Hortense to come
«down.
“Nothing doing, mother,” said Hor-
tense positively. “We are not going to
‘buy another thing of an agent no mat-
ter how well advertised it is. If we
want any more egg-beaters, brushes
or patent fly traps, we'll go to the
store after them. We have enough on
‘hand now to have a rummage sale.”
"The window was open and* Hortense
in her exasperation spoke in her loud-
est voice, and her answers could not
have failed to reach the ears of the
‘man who stood, hat in hand on the
porch below.
“But, dear,” said Mrs. Appleby, in a
«shocked voice, “this isn't an agent.
but Ben Trask. He has come to see
_you—"
“Oh!” breathed Hortense, and she
dank weakly down in the chair which
stood before her little dressing table.
She caught sight of her face, which
was reflected in the glass, and realized
that she was white as a sheet.
“Ben Trask!” she thought. “Aftei
.all these years. Vell, she had done it
‘now for a fact. To have taken him
for an agent. Well, there was nothing:
‘to do but finish combing her hair and
-go down. But could she ever face
‘him after what he must have just
theard?”
She hastily ran the comb throug
«ner hair, and when it stuck at a snarl
she gave it a yank that brought out
-a big lock. She winced, but kept on,
“her thoughts racing back over the fif-
teen years that had passed since she
‘igst saw Ben. Ben and she had been
schoolmates and they had graduated
in the same class. They had been
meighbors and friends and the year
“pefore he went away, sweethearts.
“But Ben had been restless and unset-
riled and wanted to go far afield seek-
ing adventure, while Hortense was
~qguiet and home-loving, and anyway,
she had been needed at home to help
on account of her invalid father. Ben
had asked her to go with him when
he went to California, but she had
..said no. He had gone, however, and
“had promised to return for her as
soon as his fortune was made. For a
‘time he wrote regularly, then occa-
-sionally and finally his letters ceased
altogether. And as Hortense - had
‘gruly loved him, she felt hurt at being
dropped, and she never encouraged
the attentions of any other suitor.
Her mother had needed her after her
“father's death, and as Hortense really
had a fondness for teaching, her life
«was soon full of new interests, and
-after a while she almost ceased to
‘think of Ben.
To have the old pain thus recallea
" .s0 abruptly was a very unpieasant
.gensation, and it was with misgiv-
ings that Hortense went slowly down-
.stairs to meet her one-time lover.
As she entered the room Ben arose
und came forward to meet her. He
was big and blond and had the look
of a prosperous business man. He
smiled as he said:
“So, Hortense, you took me for an
agent. At least I know what you
think of agents. Well, I am not an
agent, but sit down and let me tell
you about myself,” and he proceeded
to relate his experiences of the past
few years.
It is a fact that a man is interested
.only in the woman who will sit with
interest in her face and listen while
he talks about the one absorbing sub-
ject, which is himself—and that is
what Ben talked about. The noon
whistles blowing recalled him to the
fact that he had talked long, but just
as he was about to take his departure
Mrs. Appleby entered the room and
invited him to stay to lunch with
them. He gracefully accepted and
during the entire meal continued the
interesting subject. Hortense listened
and only occasionally did she inter-
rupt by asking a question or ac-
.quiescing to some remark he made. At
the end of the meal they sat on the
porch for a while and then Ben,
pleading a business engagement, tore
himself away after promising to come
again soon.
It was with almost a sigh of reliet
¢hat Hortense aw her former lover
depart down the road in his big red
car. “My,” she thought, “I didn’t
know Ben was such a talker.” But
ghe said nothing of her thoughts to
®
HO
20.
her mother, who was all excitemep*
gver the unexpected visit.
Later in the afternoon Hortense
was ironing on the back porch when
(Cassie James ran across from the
next house, where she had been mak-
ing a call.
“Mrs. Frame says that Ben Trask
is back. Horty, and that he has bean
here to see you. Oh! what a lucky
girl you are! She says he is rich
as—as a prince and just too hand-
some for words. She says Myrna
French saw him down street and he
said he had come back for you—and,
oh, how fortunate you are, Horty!
Just to think, after all these years!”
And in the thought of the impending
romance Cassie fairly shivered. “Why
it's better than a ‘movie, to think of
it happening in real life. He told
Myrna French he had been married,
put his wife was dead and when he
was left alone he thought at once of
you waiting back here, and so he has
come for you. Oh, um—" Cassie add-
ed all aquiver with emotion, “do have
a big wedding, Horty, [ can just see
you walking up the aisle on the arm
of Ben—. Oh, all the girls will he
green with envy. And do have just
slathers of ice cream—that Honey-
moon kind that they have down at
Becker's.” And little Cassie. who was
noted for her sweet tooth, fairly
gloated over the thought of the
Honeymoon fice cream and wedding
cake.
But Hortense smiled as the girl
talked on and kept right on with her
froning.
That evening Ben came again and
took up the interesting subject of
himself just where he had left off in
the afternoon, only he seemed to take
it for granted that it was all settled
between him and Hortense and thai
she only sat waiting patiently until
he got talked out so he could ask
her to marry him. The next day he
bron ht his aunt, and she, too, seemed
to understand that all was settled
satisfactorily between the old lovers.
Finally, after a week, Ben asked Hor-
tense to say when they would be
married. And then he had the sur
prise of his life, because the silent
Hortense absolutely and finally re-
fused him.
“But you surely can't mean that
Jou won't marry me, Hortense,” Ben
said in astonishment. “Why, girl, do
you know what you are saying?" -
“Indeed 1 do,” answered Hortense
+1 know perfectly well that 1 am say-
ing ‘no’ and that I mean it. 1 could
not after listening to all you have
told me about yourself for the past
week think of marrying a paragon as
perfect as you. There may be girls in
the world who would jump at the
chance, but 1 will say again, as | did
the first day you came, ‘There is
nothing doing. I absolutely refuse to
take an article that is as well adver
tised as you’ even for the sake of be
coming Mrs. Ben Trask. And as there
is nothing more to be said on the sub
ject, Ben, I shall have to ask you to
excuse me, as I have some papers to
look over and my school work to
block out for tomorrow.”
And that is how Cassie James came
¢o be Mrs. Ben Trask instead of Hor
tense Appleby. But neither Hortense
nor Ben ever told what happened be:
tween them. That was one subject
concerning himself upon which Ben
was silent.
Hortense went to the wedding anc
ate Honeymoon ice cream and bridal
cake with a relish which was perfect
ly apparent to everyone who saw her
She thoroughly enjoyed the whole af
fair, much to the astonishment of het
many friends.
Principle of Lever
Old as Human Race
according to the time-honored yarn
~hich used to be and maybe yet is
tound in our school readers, the in
ventor of the lever was our old friend
Archimedes. This is the same chap
who is also reputed to have jumped
out of his bathtub, “as is,” and run
down the main street of Athens, or
wherever it was, yelling “Eureka!”
until stopped by the police, because
he had just worked out the correct
dope about specific gravity. The
pathtub yarn may stick around for a
while, but in the interest of -trputh we
are compelled to throw the lever story
into the garbage can, for nobody in
vented the lever.
The reason why nobody invente.
.evers is that they were here, there
and everywhere long before any of us
had brains enough to invent anything
whatever. We used levers, and do it
now, before acquiring any knowledge
of them.
Literally all of us are full of lever:
So also are all the animals big enough
to be seen—certainly all the animals
we ordinarily know about. Each ot
us has a handful of levers at the end
of each arm, itself a most efficient
arrangement of levers, and the same
applies to each foot and leg. Besides
these we have various and sundry
other levers, too numerous for men
tion here, at all sorts of unexpected
places in our frames. A pair of in
dispensable levers are those of our
lower jaw, and very efficient levers
at that.
Jur bodily levers, however, are ali
of the first and third classes and we
lack good examples of those of the
second class. This doesn’t help Archi:
medes any, for the very first prehis
toric man who turned a turtle over
on its back with a stick or pried a
flat rock out of the dirt had it all
worked out.—Kansas City Star,
Modernized.
«we'd like to have you stay for din-
ger with us if you are content to take
pot luck,” said the wife, cordially.
“You mean can luck, my dear.”
qaurmured her husband.
Fates Proved Unkind
to Spanich Explorer
Capt. Pedro De Quiros long had
been intrigued by tales of a vast con-
tinent in the southwest Pacific ocean
and finally coaxed Phillip ITIL, of
Spain, to let him go In search of it.
On July 27, 1605, at Callao, Peru,
he drew a flourish under his signature,
commissioning the captains of his twe
ships, and was ready to sail on “the
discovery of the unknown austral re-
glons of this South sea by the order
of the king.”
One of the captains presented him-
self, respectfully asking De Quiros to
'ay down a course for them to follow.
“Let her go as she Is,” returned De
Quiros grimly, “God will take us some
where I”
In the following year they sighted
one of the islands of the New He-
brides group and De Quiros, under
the impression that it was his long
sought land, named It La Australia
de Espiritu Santo. Followed sick-
ness and discontent, the crew mu
tinied and forced a return to Mexico.
But not before De Quiros had caught
a glimpse of a long, mysterious coast
line, that to this day some believe
was the Australia of his dreams. An-
other expedition was organized by
him in Spain but on reaching Pana-
ma he died of a fever and there he
lies, buried in an unknown grave,—
Detroit News.
Nest of Three Roonit
Required for Stork
A three-roomed tenement is built by
che hammer-headed stork for the hous-
ing of himself and family, [le is a
native of Africa ard in his construc-
tion work utilizes enecrmous sticks
which he fiscs between the branches
of a tree. Any ordinary boy coald
creep into the lowest compartment.
From this a passage slopes up to an-
otter flat decorated with bright peb-
bles and bleached bones. Above this
is the nursery, the walls of which are
lined with mud to keep out drafts. A
curious nest is the one the swiftlet
builds in Borneo, and which is known
to commerce as the edible nest of the
Chinese gourmet. The bird builds in
caverns around the coasts, and nest-
seekers go with torches and tear them
down and export them. It is said that
| edible nests to the value of $1,500,000
are imported into China every year.
The nest is woven from a secretion
the bird produces—hence its food
value.
Old Cities in Tiers
The Inca museum at Lima, Peru,
has recently come into possession of
300 mummies of aboriginal Peruvians
brought back by an expediton to the
Pisco region. From these and other
discoveries it would seem that there
was an advanced civilization in that
part of the country long before the
time of Christ. Cities of different
periods were found one built over
the other, the earlier ones having
been buried. The expeditions also
returned with a great wealth of em-
broidered tapestries, beautifully dec-
orated pottery, some in the shapes of
animals and serpents. One of a
llama design showed five toes on the
forefeet instead of the present split
hoof. Llama skeletons showing the
same characteristic were also discov-
ered.
Not Alone
After herculean efforts against
temptation the wayfarer once again
found himself listening to yet another
sentence to prison.
The magistrate knew the prisoner
of old and admonished him thus:
“If, as you say, you want to live
aappily in this world, you must keep
straight. Now, do you understand?”
The prisoner frowned and had to
admit that he was puzzled.
+] am afraid I don’t, your wor-
ship,” he said doubtfully. “But if
you'll tell me Low a man is to keep
straight while he is trying to make
both ends meet, I might.”—London
Answers. >
The Scottish Race
The Scots did not originate in Ire-
fand, but the tribe that supplied the
name Scotland did.
Like all the other inhabitants o:
furope, the Scots are a mixed race.
When the Roman General Agricola
invaded Scotland in 78 A, D. he found
tribes with varied dialects, some prob-
ably speaking Gaelic and others, Celtic,
the speeck of the Britons. He called
them all Caledonians.
The Scots came in when Rome with
drew her legions in 410 A. D. They
were a tribe from Ireland who con-
quered a lot of territory and gave the
nation its name.
None to Leave
Luther Charles was very fond of
angel food cake and had been permit-
ted by his grandmother to go to the
pantry and get himself a piece. He
returned with an enormous chunk of
cake in his hand and his grandmother
inquired:
«Luther Charles, didn't you leave
any?”
“Leave any?’ he replied with an
innocent expression. “Why this was
al] there was.”
Wooden Clogs
Clog making is still an industry in
Wales where the cloggers, hereditary
craftsmen, work in the woods shap-
ing the alder blocks Into some sem-
blance of a shoe sole, ready for the
Lancashire factory where the fimigh-
ing touches are added.
No Complete Lelsure
Even for Kichest Man
Some one wrote the other day of a
man who has leisure twenty-four
hours every day.
There is. of course, no such man.
(Combine the hours a man needs for
eating, sleeping, dressing, cleaning
himself up, selecting the food and
clothing he needs, cutting his finger
and toe nails, looking after his fires,
making duty calls on kin and neigh-
hors and receiving their calls, cutting
his coupons and checking up his hank |
account (providing he has all the |
money he wants, which no man ever |
had in history) ; grumbling about the
nuisances in his neighborhood (a dog
in mine in annoying twenty-four hours
every day; is it any wonder I devote
some (ime, also. to cursing those per-
sons who say a dog is man’s best
friend?) and he will have plenty to
do. Ever so often he must take his
automobile to be looked over; and
once a month his bills must be checked
up and paid. Then there is his income
tax to pay; the call of the assessor;
there are frequent visits to the den-
tist—a rich man supposed to have
nothing to do may be the busiest mar
tn town.—E. W. Howe's Monthly.
Working Principle of
Explosive Engine Old
The basic idea of the explosive en-
gine was conceived long before the
appearance of steam. In 1680 Huygens
described an explosion motor which
was to be operated by discharging a
quantity of powder to drive the air
out of a cylinder and raise the pis-
ton. To that point, his engine relied
on a force somewhat similar to the
working principle of those today, but
the useful work was to be done by!
the piston being forced down by the
pressure of the atmosphere against it,
thus lifting a weight or doing some |
other task. There is no record that
this engine 2>ver was operated. The
steam engine of 1705 functioned on
about the same plan, that is, steam
was used to lift the weight of the !
piston, and after this was done, the
atmospheric pressure was relied upon
for the real work. After Huygens, al-
most 100 years passed before inventors
caught the vision of rotary motion
from their engines. His idea simply
‘nvolved a piston and a cylinder.
Too Complicated
Mother was trying to teach little
Sophia the meaning of fractions.
“Suppose,” she asked, “I cut an ap
ple into halves, how many pieces
would I have?”
That was easy for Sophia.
she answered.
“Now, if I cut the apple into quar
cers how many pieces would I have?”
Sophia thought a minute and, care
lully counting on her fingers, gave the
correct answer.
“Very good.” said mother. “That's
what fractions are.”
Sophia was not satisfied, however
After a few moments she came back.
“If you cut an apple into tiny snips,”
she wanted to know, “how many
pieces would there be?”
Mother thereupon decided to leave
the lesson in fractions to teacher.
“Two,”
Kangaroo Superstitions
The Australian aborigines of cer.
:ain tribes hold a number of supersti-
tions connected with the kangaroo.
These strange animals are believed to
give warning of danger.
If a black-fellow of these tribes go-
mg along saw an old-man kangaroo
hopping toward him it meant that an
enemy was near and it was time to
have his spear in readiness to strike.
To dream that a number of 'roos were
sitting around the camp was an omen
of serious warning that danger beset
the camp. In at least one tribe dur-
ing their initiation period boys were
not allowed to drink out of a water-
hole unless through a hollowed 'roo
bone.
Bacon and Shakespeare
There are three main points upon
which the supposition that Bacon was
in reality the author of Shakespeare's
works are based: First, there are a
few passages in Shakespeare's works
which are similar to passages in Ba-
con's; second, the existence of certain
supposed ciphers in plays which have
been interpreted as cryptic signatures
of Bacon; third, a single sentence
written in a letter to Bacon by Sir
Tobie Matthews at some date subse-
quent to January, 1621.
Puzzled
Billy. age four, had frequently made
the acquaintance of a little switch,
for Billie was slow in learning that he
could not play in the street, that he
could not run away and that bedtime
came at a regular hour each day.
One day Billy, who had been
¢houghtfully gazing out the window,
turned to his mother and asked:
“Why do we call a tree a tree, when
it is outdoors and a switch when it is
in the house?”
True Wife a Servant
A true wife in her husband’s house
is his servant; it is in his heart that
she is queen. Whatever of best he
can conceive, it is her part to be;
whatever of highest he can hope, it is
hers to promise; all that is dark in
him she must purge into purity; all
that 1s failing in him she must strength-
en into truth; from her, through all
the world’s clamor, he must win his
praise; in her, through all the world’s
warfare, he must find his peace.—
Ruskin.
{ Poisonous Insects in
Jungles of Bolivia
In the jungles along the River
Reni, in Bolivia, are found some of
the most malignant blood-sucking ip-
sects in the world.
Here lives the apasana, a bird-eat-
tng spider, attaining a length of from
8 to 10 inches. whose poisonous bite
1s sometimes fatal. It has a body
resembling a ball of wool, with black
hairs on its body and red ones on its
legs. Its eyes are black and quick
moving, with a most malevolent ex-
pression. [It is very active and jumps
| about two feet at a single bound.
The palo santo ant, a fire ant, which
lives in hollow-stemmed trees, iS com-
mon here. A touch on this tree brings
down a shower of the ants, whose
bites feel like red-hot coals. the sting
lasting for hours. °
Other plagues are the zaputama. an
almost invisible insect which lies in
the grass bites the legs of men and
causes an almost intolerable itching:
the guanaco. a bug which lives in the
sand and whose bite is usually fatal:
the baregui. a sand fly with a painful
sting; sweat bees, which suck the
perspiration from the hair; the ano
| pheles or malaria-carrying mosquito.
and wasps, ticks and jiggers.—New
York Times.
Recalling Old Timzas
and the Stereopticon
“What has become of the stereopti-
! sop lecturer,” asked an old Washing
tonian the other day.
“I remember when they used to be
popular here in the city and crowds
turned out to listen to them and to
look at the slides.
“When he wanted a slide changed
ae would push a buzzer, clearly audi-
ble to the audience. Sometimes the
operator of the machine would either
be asleep or talking and failed to hear
1t.
“This necessitated a number of ex
(ra sharp buzzes on the button. We
were patient with him, though, even
if occasionally he was describing the
Leaning Tower of Pisa while a pic-
you can keep
your stairway
well lighted
for two weeks
for as little as
the cost of a
newspaper oe
WEST
PERN
POWER CO
ture of the ruins of the Coliseum was
being shown on the screen.
“Then there was the era of illus
crated songs, when a sour tenor sang
maudlin songs about some girl who
lived in a village by the sea. They
were foolishly sentimental things, but
we managed to get a kick out of it.
Of course we didn't have the diver-
sions in those days that occupy us
now. Imagine our young generation
attending a stereopticon performance.”
We can't.—Washington Star.
————————————————
Young Financier
Don't dismiss this as a made-up
story, for it happens to be based up-
on an actual happening.
A boy in a town not far away called
at a store to say he had come to pay
a bill owed by his father. “No hurry
about it,” said the merchant. “1 will
send him a statement.”
The boy insisted he was there to
settle the account, so it was figured
up and the money paid.
“Now give me the 2 cents it woulé
nave cost you to mail the bill,” sug-
gested the lad, who would seem to
have in him the making of a shrewd
financier. He got the 2 cents and
went away satisfied. — Brockton
(Mass.) Enterprise.
Tomatoes
Diet, which is one of the favorite
obsessions in these days of discontent,
has given us many a laugh at the ex-
pense of the calorie hounds, but one
cannot help feeling a wee bit sorry
for the lad who wrote to the Times !
medical department the other day. !
He said: .
“My muvver says | am a blue blood.
She is on a diet for something I can’t
spell. She says diet will cure any-
thing. What diet will I use so as not
to be a blue blood but have it nice
and red like the rest of the boys?'—
Los Angeles Times.
Not So Much Interest
I have observed in reading that it is
frequently said of the hero that be
“knows books,” and is able to talk
about them. This being admitted, it
is at once concluded he is a man of
education and character. and worthy
of all confidence. The most interest-
ing peopie I know do not talk much
about books, or mention them; I have
never been in a bookish atmosphere,
except when occasionally in company
with publishers or writers.—E. W.
Howe's Monthly.
Gems From Dr. Johnsing
Garrick having a law action coming
on to be heard, the Great Lexicogra-
pher advised him to get some married
witnesses.
Garrick—Sir,
ence? ‘
Doctor Johnsing—Why, sir, a mar
ried man is used to cross-examination.
what is the differ
——
Gas Forces Woman
to Sleep in Chair
“Nights I sat up in a chair, I had
stomach gas so bad. I took Adlerika
and nothing I eat hurts me now. I
sleep fine.”—Mrs. Glenn Butler.
Even the FIRST spoonful of Adler-
ika relieves gas on the stomach and
removes astonishing amounts of old
waste matter from the system.
Makes you enjoy your meals and
sleep better. No matter what you
have tried for your stomach and
bowels, Adlerika will surprise you.
Zeller’'s Drug Store.
FOR BETTER LIVING
USE ELECTRICITY
FIRE INSURANCE
At a Reduced Rate, 20%
733 J. M. KEICHLINE, Agent
ASK MOTHER
® There are many, very?
8 many, mothers who through B
the years have proved the |
power of j
Scott's Emulsion
3 of pure yitamine.bearing
cod-liver oil to help nouris
a and strengthen the |
<J poorly-developed
P child. [tis abundant
in the vitamines that
are so essential to
the welfare of
hildren and adults.
C
1 Scott & Bowne, Bloomfield, N. J. [
SETIEESTED CI CHIE
AS
ra
Free silk HOSE Free
Mendel's Knit Silk Hese for Wo-
men, guaranteed to wear six
months without runners in leg or
holes in heels or toe. A new
FREE if they fail. Price $1.00.
YEAGER’S TINY BOOT SHOP.
Employers
This Interests You
The Workman’s Compensation
Law went into effect Jan. 1, 1916.
It makes insurance compulsory.
We specialize in placing such in-
surance. We inspect Plants and
recommend Accident Prevention
Safe Guards which Reduce Insur-
ance rates.
It will be to your interest to con-
sult us before placing your Insur-
ance.
JOHN F, GRAY & SON.
State College Bellefonte
rsa RE
Fine Job Printing
at the
WATCHMAN OFFICE
There Is ne style of work, from the
cheapest “Dodger” to the finest
BOOK WORK |
that we can not de in the mest sat-
isfactory manner, and at Prices
consistent with the class ef werk.
Call en or communicate with this
office.
Ele BRAND.
‘CHICHESTER S PILLS
OND BRAND P) for
°° years known as Best, Safest, Al ellable
SOLD BY