Queensland Government
Sells Homes to Workers
The labor "government of Queens-
land, Australia. has expended approxi-
mately $16,000,000 in the last eight
years in the erection of between 8,000
and 9,000 houses which have been sold
to the people, said Premier Edward G.
Theodore in an interview at the Aus-
tralian commissioner’s office, 44 White-
hall street, according to the New York
Times.
Mr. Theodore, who has been premier
of Queensland, the second largest state
in Australia, for nearly nine years, ar-
rived in New York by way of Canada
and was on his way to London to ar-
range for the refunding of loaiis
Rmounting to approximately $125,000,
Senter Theodore explained that the
housing shortage was quite as bag i
Australia as Tea sald tha
i the schéme to build Workers’
omes the government bought the
“fand, erécted the houses and then sold
them to individuals, who paid weekly
installments no higher than ordlnary
rent. Af the nd of fifteen or twenty
Years the workman owned the home.
Queensland is spending $2,000,000 this
year for 1,000 dwellings to be sold in
the same way.
+ Premie Theodore said he expected
to S& Prime Minister MacDonald,
whom he knows, on his visit to Lon-
don. He declared het We YpeDeald
now had the opportunity o Jemon-
strating that his policy was workable
and sane. If he succeeds, said Mr.
Theodore, it will have a great effect
~<glhroughout the British empire.
Xuanng the gccomplishments of ths
ge < 3 I~
labor party in u.2duslend in pearly
©
nine years Premier Theodore *@ }
the Institution of the compulsory arbi-
tration act as among the most sub-
~+ontigl, as it practically did away with
TEY——— 3 :
stifle: : vl an
. Undet government direction the cobs
ton fields of Queensland are being de-
veloped intensively, Farmers from fhe
United States will be asked in a year
or two to migrate to Queensland to de-
velop the cotton fields, with the In
ducements of land at low rates and
government assistance uptil their
farms yield substantial chops. ming
East African Elephant
Herds Growing Large)
» B i icame TH oa
The elephant is a very useful ani-
mal both for draft purposes and for
ivory. A few years ago 70,000 were
slaughtered annually for their tusks,
so that it seemed as though there was
a good chance of the big animal's be-
coming extinct. Wise laws, however,
have checked the destruction so that
the number is increasing. The war
gave the elephants their chance and
the British authorities in East Africa
have also protected them. South of
Zambesi the elephant is virtually ex-
tinct and the Cape market for ivory
has ceased to exist.
At present Mozambique is the cen-
ter of the ivory trade. Oddly enough,
the Portuguese, through whose hands
it comes, send nearly all the ivory
across to Bombay, where it is sorted
and cut and dispatched to the Euro-
pean markets. The world’s supply of
real elephant ivory is now about 250
tons a year.—Scientific American.
Report Was Erroneous
A caller at the New York city
morgue the other day asked to see the
body of a man found in the Harlem
river. “It’s not me,” he said to the
mortician in charge, as reported In a
daily paper. “What do you mean?”
the official asked. “I mean,” was the
answer, “that the report that my body
was found in the river is an error. My
acquaintances have been running away
from me for a week thinking I'm my
own ghost.” It seems that the body
was that of a friend of the caller, and
the latter's name written on papers
found in the dead man’s pockets re-
sulted in the mixup.
Burglar Sings at Work
A nonchalant burglar who sings at
nts work and yells at his victims re-
gently set Cincinnati residents on their
toes until he left the community. The
burglar sang as he entered the apart-
ment of the assistant city treasurer,
and the mistress, thinking he was a
light-hearted peddler, and not wanting
any green groceries, falled to answer
the knock. He tried a key which
didn’t fit, and then entered another
apartment on the next floor, singing
all the while and when he had finished
his job left just as leisurely.
Bride Painted a Steeple
‘Women members of the congrega.
tion of a church near New York un-
dertook to repair the building. A
young bride of twenty had the honor
of painting the steeple, which is 75
feet from the ground.
Champion Knitter
In an international knitting compe
dtion in which thousands of women
participated, a young woman of Bris-
tol, England, has won a cash prize of
$1,000 and a silver cup emblematic
of the championship.
Bay State’s Center
fhe Wayside Inn's neighborhoot
nas been marked by the census bureau
as the center of population for Massa-
chusetts. The exact point is eight-
tenths of a mile southwest of the Sud-
bury post office.
Beautiful Shoulders
The most beautiful shoulders in the
world are possessed by Mme, Marcell
Pledy of Paris, according to a decision
rendered by the judges in the recent
international beauty contest at Monte
Carlo.
© —
With A {oral eapitalization of nearly |
Discovered Great Gold
Mine North of Toronto
Gold prospecting is among the
world’s romantic adventures, and
there is no more thrilling story in its
annals than that of the discovery of
the great Hollinger mine, some 500
miles north of Toronto, in Canada.
Thirteen years ago a young man, Ben
Hollinger by name, was tramping
through the low bush prospecting,
when his eyes happened to alight upon
an outcrop of rock in a desolate waste.
He struggled over to it, and on ex-
amination found it contained gold. To-
day the Hollinger mine rivals the
great mines of South Africa, and last
year outstripped Too greatest of then,
the New Modderfontein, which had
previously held the world’s record for
gold output. It Covers 400 acres, and
low its rugged surface run nearly
Touching Incident at
Evacuation of Smyrna
In it all (the Smyrna evacuation) the
horrible, the terrible, the humorous,
and the touching were strangely inter
mingled. One incident is typical of
the brighter side.
I was busy one day getting the
crowd through the gate and onto the
pier, when a woman with several chil-
dren became separated from one with-
out noticing that she had lost him, the
Hitle Ss of three or four years bein
pushed, kicked and in danger of bein
érushed to is as many—y, fan
of all ages—had been in that place, so
dense was the terrified mass fighting
their way toward safety on board the
vessels. :
A Turkish soldier saw him, dropped
his rifle, pushed his way through the
¢érowd, protecting the child with his
own body, until pe had saved him and
5 miles of tunnels and &n glectrlc
‘he great mills roar
railway system.
day ana night; and oYery month §7,
000,000 in gold leaves the refinery. |
there as ore than 2,000 men ém- |
ployed in the mine, working |
at all. They are surrounded by gold, :
yet all they see is the dirty gray rock
being scooped up and taken to the re:
finery. y
Cig
wth ©
$ % RE
Gates isproved Charge
yd at He Was Careless
John W. Gates first large scale of
Speculative venture, barbed wire, is
what many would-be plungers find on
their Wall street raids. Lafe in the
last century Gates was the main back-
er of two steel companies, Federal
Steel and American Steel and Wik -
$200,000,
These orga fore TL
ih tL Revlon $e merged
sam Ts Unssd ..c8 Steel corpora:
tion. DU* tes was refused a place
with the new combination. He was
told his business methods were care-
less, whereupon he founded the Re-
ublic Iron and Steel company, which
fecume 3 thorn in the side of the
States Sieg cigpany.
When Gates died in 1911 he left
fortuiie of Be 3,000, whic
disproved allegations of slip-shGp
methods and the asserflon that all
plungers eventually are wiped out and
become objects of charity.—New York
Times. 55 He
wep 0
Ear
ge oT J
atts SHG LL tid
Old but Good
A young lady sat next to a distin-
Zuished bishop at a church dinner.
She was rather awed by the bishop's
presence. For some time she hesi-
tated to speak to him. Finally. see-
ing some bananas passed, she seized
the opportunity to start conversation
with him and said:
“I beg your pardom, but are you
fond of bananas?”
The bishop was slightly deaf, and
leaning toward her, replied:
“pardon me, but what did you say?”
“] said,” repeated the young lady,
blushing furiously, “do you like
bananas?”
The bishop pondered the question
gravely for a moment, and then an-
swered: “It is a curious question,
but if you wish my honest opinion,
I have always preferred the old-fash-
ioned night shirt.”—Harper’s Weekly.
#
His Own Opinion
Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge |
leaned over his rickety fence and non- |
chalantly contemplated a covered
wagon which was being snailed along
the big road by a yoke of oxen.
“Howdy!” he saluted when the
equipage finally arrived in front of his
residence. “Whur are you going to?”
“Well, I'll tell you,” responded the
venerable man who walked beside the
oxen. “I loaded up my family and
one thing and another a spell ago,
aiming to go to Oklahoma, as it were.
But I've had to turn out’'n the road
and stop so often to let autemobliles,
wagons and so forth go by, and then
prob'ly got stuck in the mud and had
a dickens of a time in dragging out
and getting started ag'in, that, all
things considered, I don’t reckon I'm
going no place.”—Kansas City Star.
a A SIN SS 9 A
Careless Taxi Driver
A taxi was standing at a cabstand
#ith the front of the cab almost on
the crossing. The driver was sitting
on the seat waiting patiently for a
fare. He had been waiting two hours.
A man was crossing the road deep in
meditation, when he suddenly caught
sight of the cab. He jumped, glared
at the driver for a moment, and then
exclaimed, “Why don’t you blow your
horn ?”—The Tattler.
ION | comings ma
ed most] } ori g
underground, and they Rd see gold | <P
redler pe to hls moth
4 e So £ ame back, 1
a him on the back to
Mask Guards Painter
From Lead Poisoning
Lead poisoning has long been the
dbugbear of painters. While working
with paint having a high lead content
tne inhalation of the paint odors has
been known to produce dangerous at-
tacks of the well-known *“painters’
colic,” while contact of lead paint
with the skin, particularly where it is
cut or abraded, often results in irr
tating diseases.
To combat these conditions a spe-
cial gas mask or respirator has been
devised. This is not so cumbersome
as the conventional type, merely serv-
ing as a filter against the lead fumes
and not covering the whole face. It
straps around thé back of the head,
covering the nose apd mouth, byt not
the eyes, thus affording frée vision.
Worn in combinafion with rubber
gloves for protecting the hands, the
new respirator affords ample protec-
tion against the possibility of contract-
ing disease, no matter what may be
smiled and patted
express apptoval. My linguistic short-
ors
of
comings made ft impossible to be
xplicit, but fhe Turk had no need of
Englis) Fords. He went through an
extraordinary
xtraordin gi mime that made |
ere speec fle peed} 8, KE, i
is haild at 3 {1 ih i ;
head and opened two fingers, polniing |
first to himself and then back toward |
the country lying to the east, then, his |
hand on his heart, he shook his head. |
. His meaning was perfectly clear: he |
had—or, perhaps, once had had—two ;
children of about the age of the child |
he had saved.
Such fs thé terrible Turk—such, a
least, is one side of him that I saw.—
Mark O. Prentiss in the Atlantic ¢
Monty.
’ IT t— |
- EEE
Englishman Tells Hew ;
to Break Monte Carlo
Hon. Seton Robert Beresford, broth-
er of Lord Decles, is the author of
a book of 60 pages, only one- 2rd &
an inch thick. The price is ill-
ings, which is at the rate of 63 shill-
ings an inch, remarks the London Tite
Bits. :
34= fitie is, “The Future at Monts
qari A Method Explained Whereby
the Bank Must Fail.”
i
i
“The [nteltjon,” he writes, “is no
to put orward a new system in op-
position to the bank, but to invert all
that has gone before insofar as to
compel the bank to take the place of
the system monger.”
He shows how a number of players,
working in concert, may force the
bank to play one of the famous Sys |
tems, such as that devised by Labou- '
chere.
The Beresford System, he. declares,
may be played by people with as is
|
| as £30 or £40 apiece, for “with so smal
a reserve many would lose their all; |
a few, however, would probably win
heavily. . . . One solitary winner |
could easily win an amount in excess
of the losses of all the others.” He |
claims that if every one followed the |
Beresford method, Monte Carlo would
be out of business in six months.
Hon. S. R. Beresford is manager of
two shipping associations and a fa-
mous swimmer and trap shooter. He
lives in New York and London and
has played cricket for Middlesex.
What He Asked For
Huggins considered himself a very
smart fellow—distinctly witty, in fact
—and he never lost an opportunity of
using what he called his “gift.”
One day he was strolling down
High street when he saw a notice in a
shop window, which ran: “If you don’t
gee what you want in the window
come inside.”
«I don’t see what I want in the win
dow,” he said.
“Well, then, ask for it,” said the
shopkeeper.
“Well,” went on the wit. “I have
found so many smart men in this town
that I am in search of a first-class
idiot.”
Without hesitation the proprietor
turned to his assistant with the order:
“James, bring a large sheet of paper
and some string, and make this gen-
tieman up into a neat parce >»
Bootblack Uses a Palette
One of the bootblacks on the boule
vards now uses a palette when clean-
ing women’s shoes, says & Paris letter
to the Baltimore Sun.
The Parisian woman’s shoes vary st
much in color that he found it often
difficilt to get the right hue of boot
cream to match.
So, in his palette, he puts a number
of different creams and combines them
in varying proportions according to
the tone of the shoes he has to deal
T henics in Danger
Little Boy—I'm not going to school
today, ’cause we've got to work too
hard.
Mother— What have you got to do‘
Little Boy—I don’t know, but teach-
er said that we'd have caloused thenics
after today’s classes.—The Wasp.
Modern Inventions
Timothy—Maria! Maria! Open the
door.
Al Falfa—Kind o’ deaf, ain’t she?
Tim—No, she ain't deaf, but tryin’
to listen to the phonograph an’ the
teléphone an’ the wireless, an’ havin’
only two ears it's hard sometimes to
get her attention.
No Waste Involved
“When a man says he has thrown his
hat in the ring he merely uses a figure
of speech.”
“Of course,” answered Senator Sorgv
hum. “Many a political tile-tosser
wouldn't be so reckless if he had to
use a genuine hat.”—Washington Star.
with.
Judging by the number of his wom
an customers his plan is successful.
Just Like a Husband
“My husband is the most stubborn
man in the world.”
“He can’t be any more stubborx
than mine.”
“Qh, yes, I'm sure he must be. Yes
terday I had an engagement to meet
him at three o'clock.”
“Yes.”
“well, it was nearly 4:30 when I go
there, and he won't admit yet that
the rest he got while he was waiting
did him any good.”
First Woman Radiologist
Sister Godeliva, who is in charge ot
the X-ray department of St. John's
hospital in Fargo, is the first woman
to be registered as a radiologist in the
state of North Dakota. She recently
passed the examination required by
the American Registry of Radiological
Technicians in Omaha and is the first
, called a friend, and they went
I in pursylly ig welt stappe ¥ the
a hifl ou
woman, it is thought, to be awarded
such a certificate in this country.
the lead content of the paint used.—
New York World.
Human Decoy Used to
Lure Wolf in Russia
The Russian hunter’s method of kill-
ing wolves is interesting. A great
hefty peasant, with yellow halr, snub
nose, red face and shining biue eyes,
brought an immense wolf’s skin to me
once, and I gsked him how he had ob-
tained it. He was standing at the
window of his izba one fafe &fténoon
he said, when he saw a wolf walking
through the village street. He seized
bis gun, 2
fop of Side the villa
and
| looked at them. To prevent ft from
running away, the sefond man went
down on all fours and moved toward
the wolf. He looked, in his heavy
sheep ig, shy a, for all the world like
= : ai -— -
ap anigal, and ie Wolf (ap heey @
aftack hith. When it had CONE [6 a
convenient distance the hunter shot it.
—Francésca M. Wilson, in Manchester
Guardiall,
Sirange, Strange!
This is veraclous: A clergyman
from Cambridge, Mass., had occasion
to preach to the inmates of an insane
hospital. During his sermon he no-
ticed that one of the patients paid the
closest attention, his eyes riveted upon
the preacher's face, his body bent
eagerly forward. Such Interest was
most flattering. After the service, the
speaker noticed that the man spoke to
the superintendent, so as soon as pos-
i sible the preacher inquired:
“Didn’t that man speak to you abou.
my sermon?”
“Yes.”
“Would you mind telling me wha :
pe said?”
The superintendent tried to sidester:
out the preacher insisted.
“Well,” he said at last, “what the
man said was, ‘Just think, he’s out
and I'm in. ”—The Christian Register
(Boston). >
Runs Submerged
An inexpensive undershot powe.
wheel which will run even when whol-
Iy submerged and which is especially
adapted for use in mountain streams
was invented some time ago by a Salt
Lake man. The wheel's source of
power lies in the fact that the blades
fold on the upward stroke, making
the leverave greater at all times on
those below than above the center
shaft and thereby enabling it to run
in water of any depth. The wheel,
which is made entirely of metal, may
be of any diameter and width,
To prevent clogging with floating
weeds or debris the wheel is inclosed
in a heavy mesh wire screen sO con-
nected to the wheel that it revolves
in the opposite direction.
Set an Egg—Ample
A boastful traveler was In the vil-
lage inn, trying to “kid the hicks.”
“Speaking of chickens,” he said, “re-
minds me of an old hen my father used
to have on his farm. She’d hatch any-
thing from a tennis ball to a lemon.
Why, one day she sat on a chunk of ice
and hatched out a pint of hot water »
«That don’t come up to a hen my
mother had,” remarked one of his
hearers. “They fed her on sawdust
once, by mistake. Well, she laid ten
eggs, and sat on 'em, and when they
were hatched, nine of them had
wooden legs, and t'other chicken was
a woodpecker I"—American Boy.
Diffused Concentration
An enthusiastic young admirer said
to Arnold Bennett shortly after one of
his more thoughtful books was pub-
lished: “You have been a wonderful
help to me, Mr. Bennett.”
“Indeed! In what way, may I ask?"
“Qh, that last book of yours! It has
taught me to concentrate.”
«To concentrate? Well, well, that’s
pice. Now tell me, what are you con-
centrating on?”
“Oh, lots and lots of things,” was
the reply.—Boston Transcript.
Just Right
Nexdore—Don’t you find your som
somewhat restive since he finished at
college?
Talltimber—Yes, very restive. Ever
since he graduated he ain't done nuth-
in' but rest.
Now We Know
Uncle Lije Cheek one day was asked
whether Sam Black was honest or not.
“Well, if, and, but, though,” he an-
‘swered, “he might be, and, then agin’
he mign't; but, if he be, he is very
highly spoken aginst.”
| One Born Every Minute,
|
1
|
!
f
{
-
—
! vthe boy, scenting a tip.
Few Ever Give Up Hope
In certain offices In Wall street
there’s an axiom, “Once a sucker, al-
ways a sucker.” Those who make |
their living by catching suckers do not |
cross from their lists the names of :
individuals who have met with losses
because losses do not cure.
There was proof of this only re-
cently. The receiver of a bucket shop
which closed some time ago received
a $75 check through the mail with an
order to buy certain securities, Ex-
amining the check, the receivér found
that it was a dividend check the cus-
tomer had received when another
bucket shop was closed, It represented
all he had salvaged from the wreck.
But without éven bothering to cash if,
he endorsed it and sent it along.
That check came from the Middle
West. But there are suckers in New
York also. That same receiver a few
days later received a check and a buy-
ing order. The check was for $400.
The sender was a Broadway merchant.
The order was not execufed, however,
as the firm he addressed had failed a
year before.
“Apparently there's not only one :
oorn every minute, but they never
die,” said the receiver as he dictated
a lefter to accompany the returned
check,
|
|
Hee |
First Telephone Users |
Unable to Find Ears
In 1877 one of the most important
and difficult parts of the work of in-
troducing the telephone into a com- |
fiiunity ®as Teaching the subscriber the |
dorrect way of using a telephone
This still has ifs importancé and '
its difficulty. So there is value as
well as amusement in the experience |
of one of the earliest of telepholi8 '
pioneers, who introduced the telephone
into Delaware. He says in an account
of those davs: |
“In 1877 4ad 1878 very few people |
had seen a telephone and fewer still |
had used it, 80 that after a subscriber
had been sécured it required consider-
able effort to impress upon him the
fost efficient way to use it. The peo-
ple did not know, it seems, where their
ears were. In fact, an editor said to
me one day: ‘You should have some
one instruct Mr, — how to use that
telephone you have put in for him.
He has rubbed the hair off the side of
his head trying to find his ear.)”—
Telephone Press Service,
Just What He Asked
|
One day a man who was interested
|
1
in social work went into a tenement
! district and, wishing to see a certain |
man, but having only a general idea
as to where he lived, approached a
small boy for information.
“My boy,” he said, “can you show
.ne where Mr. Linkovitch lives?”
“Yes, sir,” was the quick reply oi |
“Come right |
with me, sir.”
With this the hey entered an adja- |
cent doorway and started to climb the |
difficult stairs. Up four flights he
went, the visitor breathlessly follow- !
ing, and finally paused at an open
door.
«This is the floor,” said the boy,
wistfully looking for the coin. “Mr.
Linkovitch lives in there.”
“I, 00ks as if we had had hard luck,”
cemarked the visitor, peering into the
room. “Mr. Linkovitch doesn’t appear
to be here.”
“No, sir,” was the rejoinder of the
poy. “That was him settin’ down on
the front doorstep where we came in.”
The Cheery Eskimos.
A Norwegian explorer has just spent
15 years among the Eskimos of Green-
land and Alaska, after which, with a
natural desire of change, he made for
Paris. Yet he mai®itains an admirable
fidelity to his Eskimo friends. They
have, he assures the Parisians, many
points of superiority over the inhab-
ftants of more genial climes. “They
take turns to sing songs, in which they
abuse and ridicule each other to the
best of their ability.” The man whose
phrases are the most mordant, whose
melodies are the most mocking, whose
volce best carries invective, is ad-
judged to have right on his side. What
more is needed to prove that the Eski-
mos are ruled by the loftiest ideals of
civilization?—London Daily Telegraph.
Sure Enough!
“Oh, major!” called a farmer con
stituent, coming out to the gate. “I've
got a puzzle here. The county seat
newspaper came just DOW with part
of a page doubled over and printed
twice so that it can’t be read. The
headline over that part says, ‘Gov-
ernor Trickery Here Saturday,’ and I
can’t tell whether it means last Sat-
urday or next Saturday.”
Not So New
The traveler had returned to his na:
dve village after being abroad for 20
years. He stopped as he saw a little
boy with a small baby coming down
the road.
“Ah! a new face, I see!”
“No, it isn’t, sir,” replied the boy.
iooking at the baby. “It’s just been
washed, that's all!”—Western Chris
tian Advocate (Cincinnati).
The Idle Thing
“The woman next door is really
areadful, Richard,” said the young
murried woman. “She does nothing
but talk the whole day long. I'm sure
she can't get any work done.”
“Oh,” remarked her husband; “te
shom does she talk?”
“Why, to nie, dear, of course,” wat
the reply, “over the fence!”
| Delicate Gown Made
! cut waist.
for Empress Eugenie
It is said that the most perishable
thing ever made was the gown of Em-
press Eugenie designed for her to wear
at a ball given at the Tuileries upon
her return from the opening of the
Suez canal. 3
The ultimate in dress was made un-
der the personal direction of the em-
press. Four women labored steadily
for six months embroidering the
flounces. It took two months to manu-
facture the gauze. The cloth was
woven on machinery especially con-
structed and was the only kind of this
material ever fashioned. The threads
were so fine that the weavers were
obliged to wear powerful magnifying
glasses,
The dress was an ivory white. I
was made with 15 skirts one upon the
other. Thirty-five yards of gauze were
required for each and the effect was a
diaphanous mist. A thousand yards
of material was used, 237 yards bein,
recuired for each of the two overskiris:
The flounces resembled cobwebs, and
delicate embroidery marked the low--
Cy ist. So fine was the material
that the two overskirts could be drawn.
through a bracelet, and two of the un--
derskirts through a finger ring.—De-~
troit News, ]
Keene Won and Zost
Millions of Dollars
It is to be questioned whether his
tying up with Jay Gould or the $400,000,
he wagered that William Jennings:
Bryan would be elected in 1896 was:
James R. Keene's greatest error of
fd ent. To his then assoclatey
ould, Keene attributed his losses in
Western Union and wheat in the late;
"108. }
Kor all of his speculations over
gears, Keene, when he died, in 1913,
left but $2,000,000, and he scored more
failures in hig operations than suc-
CésSed. After his experience with Jay
Gould, other reverses followed and
Keene was a bankrupt in 1884. By
1892 he was on his feet again, through
his manipulations for the whisky com-
bination 8nd American Sugar Refining
company. L,
Later in the same decade, he wou
4nd lost and won again on Brooklyn:
Rapid Transit, only to drop $2,000,000!
in Third avenue railway speculations.
At the time of the flotation of United
States steel he hit the ceiling, only tor
fall to the floor shortly after with the
collapse of Southern Pacific.—New
' York Times. \
Home of Pineapple
The pineapple is of American ori
gin, growing wild in Brazil and Mex-
ico. It has been known since the Six-
teenth century and was first cultivat-
ed solely for royalty in the gardens of
their private grounds. Brazil still
| possesses the best and most appreciut-
ed varieties, although in other coun-
tries much work has been done to de-
velop a better pineapple.
It is claimed that the flavor and
evenness of pulp of the Brazilian pine-
apples have not been equaled. The
season in Brazil comes in December
and it has been a source of wonder to
tourists arriving in Brazil during the
pineapple season why some one has
not undertaken to make shipments to
the United States, where there should
be a splendid market for them, arriv-
ing in midwinter.
Mary Lost Her Tip
A newly appointed judge of the Su
preme court, who felt pretty well satis-
fied with himself, was dining at a hotel
and he said to the Irish waitress,
“Mary, how long have you been in this
country?”
“Two years, sir.”
“Do you like it?”
“Sure, it's well enough,” she an
swered.
«But, Mary,” he continued, “youn
have many privileges in this country
which you'd not have in Ireland. Now
at home you'd never be in a room
with a justice of the Supreme court
and chatting familiarly with him.”
“But, sure, sir,” said the girl, quite
in earnest, “ye’d never be a judge at
home.”—Boston Transcript.
Had F orgotten
A Hot Springs girl recently ran
across a lot of love letters written
many years ago, by her mother to her
father before they were married. The
daughter pretended that the letters
were of recent date, and read them to
her mother, who was disgusted beyond
measure, saying it was surprising that
such silly persons were perniitted to
live. “I thank goodness,” she said,
“that when I was a girl, I had some
gense.”—Philadelphia Inquirer.
Both Wrong
wo travelers were seated In a
train going to Chicago. As the train
drew up at a station one of the trav-
elers opened the window, and, draw-
ing a deep draught of fresh air, turned
to his companion and exclaimed:
“Isn’t this salubrious?”
“Yes,” replied his friend, “I think it
18 exhilarating.”
“Beg pardon,” chimed in the coun-
ductor, “ye're both wrong; it's Kala-
mazoo.”
Kittenish
“Those firemen must he a frivolous
get,” commented Mrs. Dumpling.
“Why?” asked her overworked half.
“I read in the paper that after the
blaze was under ‘control, firemen
played eil night on the ruins. Why
didn’t they go to bed like sensible
folks instead of romping around like
cats?”