"Bellefonte, Pa., August 11, 1922.
HERE’S REAL BERNARD SHAW
Apparently the World Has Had a
Wrong Idea Concerning That
Distinguished Gentleman.
The popular supposition that Shaw
is a great egotist is, like pearly all
popular suppositions, hopelessly wrong,
Cosmo Hamilton writes ia tha
Spur. He poses as an egotist, be
cause it affords him immense amuse-
ment to see how much ire it pro-
duces. He knows, of course, that
he is a master craftsman who stands
alone as a dramatist. He has proved
it so often. As a matter of fact, he
is a very simple and humble man, a
great Christian, deeply moved by the
woes and the sufferings of so many
fellow creatures and greatly impa-
tient of all the hypocrisy and red
tape that stand in the way of the
betterment of the world. No man
living has keener sympathies or a
more practical method of charity. He
‘gives most of his money away. And
there is certainly no man who is so
enthusiastic about other people's
work, or go very ready to give a help-
ing hand to the young men who are
knocking at the door. It is a re-
freshing and delightful sight to see
him at one of his rehearsals, stand-
ing in the middle of the stage in his
bilious clothes and hygienic boots sur-
rounded by the carefully chosen act-
ors and actresses upon whom he tries
his latest jokes, a kindly and whiten-
ing Mephistopheles. It is equally
delightful to see him walk forth in
the afternoon into the London that he
knows and loves so well, kid-gloved,
dapperly hatted, wearing a loosely-
built suit of tweeds, to make his
jaunty way out of the purlieus of the
Adelphi into Piecadilly, talking to
himself, laughing aloud and utterly un-
conscious of the attention of the pass-
ers-by. He is really a sort of elderly
schoolboy who makes a hobby of para-
dox, whose legs are in the present,
but whose head is 20 years in advance
of his time.
COMET-FINDING NOW EASY
Work of Picking Up “Heavenly Viol
tors” Has Been Reduced to a
Scientific Basis.
Seven comets which have been seen
on previous occasions are expected to
return to the vicinity of the earth
this year. If they all keep their ap-
pointments, and the average num-
ber of new comets turn up, astronomers
will have at least a full dozen under
observation between now and Decem-
ber 31. But there is reason to fear
that some of the seven old comets
have met with mishaps while bowling
along through space, and that they
have either been shattered into un-
recognizable debris, or diverted into
quite different orbits. There is, how-
ever, little romance now in comet-
finding, as was the case when heroic
comet-hunters swept the skies all night
in the hope of dropping on one. Now
they set traps for them—combina-
tion of telescopes and cameras turn-
ing in unison with the rotation of the
earth on its axis—and go to bed until
morning, when they develop the plates
and examine them for the tell-tale
marks which betray any comets that
may have entered the region of the
sky thus photographed.
Snake Causing Reign of Terror.
A South Rhodesian farmer wrote
to the director of the Port Elizabeth
museum for advice on the disposal of
a great mamba which inhabited a
wooded kopje on his farm. “The
snake,” said the farmer, “has already
accounted for two natives and over
100 other victims in the shape of
fowls, goats, calves and dogs. when-
ever anything ventures within the pre-
cincts of the snake's haunts it darts
from cover, strikes, and retires into
the undergrowth again like a flash. A
glimpse is all that is ever seen of this
death-dealing reptile,” The farmer
states that the natives in the vicinity
regard the snake with superstitious
awe, declaring it to be the reincarna-
tion of Lobengula, who seeks revenge
for past wrongs. Lobengula was the
king of Matabele Land and was long
feared as a powerful warrior and per-
sistent opponent of Christianity and
civilization in his kiggdom. In 1893
he was defeated in a battle in which
500 of his men were killed. He then
became a fugitive from his kingdom.
i
i
Back to Pharaohs.
In exchanging the Turkish title of
sultan for that of king of Egypt, Aha-
med Fuad I, asserts the nationhood
of Egypt with a virtual hark-back to
the Pharaohs. Sultans, khedives,
valis—the Turkish name for vice-
roys—and beys there have been for a
century or two, but no king has
reigned in Egypt since times so dis-
tant as to stretch away into the
shadowy Biblical era. “King” of
Egypt has a homely, British ring that
will remind Ahamed Fuad and his
people of Britain's material interest
in Egypt's destinies. But Pharaoh
was the ancient title of the Egyptian
sovereigns—originally a proper name
like Caesar, adapted to a hereditary
monarchy.
Indigestion.
First Cannibal—Our chief has hay
fever.
Second Cannibal—What brought it
on.
First Cannibal—He ate a grass wid
ow.—Journal American Medical Asso
ciation,
——Subseribe for the “Watchman.”
|
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THE BARNYARD |
—— |
“Cluck, cluck,” said Mrs, Hen,
“what a day it is for hens and’
chickens.” pat
oXS77773 do you mean by |
7% that, cocka-
CY doodle-do?” asked
Rll Mr. Rooster. |
And Red Top,
the Rooster oe
“Cock - a - doodle -
do, what in the |
world do you
mean by that?”
“Well,” sald
Mrs. Hen, “it is a |
very fine day, a!
beautiful day in
fact, a regular
summer day in
reality. And so I
say it is a day for
hens and chick-
ens, for hens and
chickens are so fine and no day is too
fine for them.”
“What a lot of nonsense you talk,”
said Red Top. “Cock-a-doodle-do, what
a lot of nonsense. Just because hens
and chickens are fine you think they
must have fine days for them?”
“Not exactly that,” said Mrs. Hen.
“I don’t exactly mean that. But I
mean that this day is very fine.”
“The day is very fine whether you
mean it is or not,” said Red Top. |
“Yes,” agreed Mrs. Hen, “that is |
so. But it is fitting and suitable and |
right and proper that fine chickens |
and fine hens should have fine days !
for themselves once in awhile.
“So I say this is a regular day for
hens and chickens.”
“You didn’t say ‘regular’ before,”
crowed Red Top.
“Then and now are different,” said
Red Top.
“But no matter,” he added, “the
whole idea is so silly. Do you mean to
say that you think this day is fine
just for the chickens and the hens?
“I suppose you think that Mr. Sun
and the South Wind and all the other
creatures that helped to make this
day so beautiful thought of nothing
else but you and the chickens and
the other hens. I suppose that is!
what you think?” !
“And why not?’ asked Mrs. Hen.
“That is a nice, pleasant thought.”
“But it hasn’t any sense to it,” said
Red Top. “There are the flowers to
be thought of and the farmer's crops
and the boys and girls and the grown-
up people and the trees and the birds.
Gracious, it is a fine day for all of
them and for all of us, not only for
the hens and chickens.”
«But I didn’t say it was a nice day
only for us,” said Mrs. Hen. “I sald
it was a nice day for us, but not only
for us. I don’t mind if the other
creatures share the nice day too. T |
don’t mind in the least.” |
“It wouldn’t make much difference |
if you did,” said Red Top.
“Not a bit of difference,
quack,” said Sir David Duck.
“Not a bit of difference, we can all
share the day, quack, quack,” said
Mrs. David Duck.
“Not a bit of difference,” said Mrs.
Indian Runner Duck, and the little
ducks all said,
“Quack, quack, it wouldn't make a
scrap of difference.”
“The children have all gone wild-
strawberry hunting,” said Dash, the
dog, “and they're going to get lots
and lots of delicious wild strawberries
because their mother has promised to
make a wild-strawberry short-cake.
What a good time they will have and
they have worn their very oldest
clothes so it won’t matter if they get
stains or not.”
“1 wish my mother would make me
something te eat, grunt, grunt,” said
Pinkie Pig.
“Share the Day.”
quack, |
“Yes” said
Master Pink Pig,
“I wish mine
would too.” “And
I'd like it if my
mother made me
something to eat
too,” sald Sammy
Sausage.
“If only mine |
would think of
me,” said Brother
Bacon, “squeal,
squeal, if she
only would.”
“Oh dear,” said
Red Top, “every-
one is thinking of
themselves. Well,
I might as well
too. Tll crow my
“Lots and Lots.”
finest crowing song
and make them all jealous. But one
thing at least I mean to say. And
that is that this fine day isn’t for one
of us any more than it is for an-
other. It is for all of us!
“Cock-a-doodle-do, this fine day is
for everyone of us!”
Ce Le,
Guaranteed.
A timid middle-aged lady with an
intense horror of dentists has her
teeth put in first-class condition. The
dentist informs her they will remain
so the rest of her life without causing
any more trouble.
Some thirty years or so later the lady
has more trouble with her teeth and
goes to the same dentist.
Old lady in disgust—I thought you |
told me I would never again have trou-
ble with my teeth, so long as I lived.
Dentist, perplexed—I did, madam, |
but I never thought you were going |
to {lve forever.— Science and Invention.
| “puilds up the whole system.”
"Six Month's Gasoline Tax $1,000,000.
Expert Advice.
George went to a dietitian, who ad-
vised him what foods to eat, how oft-
en to eat, and how much to eat.
He went to a physical culture ex-
pert, who told him what weight of
clothes to wear, and how often he
should take hot and cold baths.
The gymnasium teacher mapped out
a course of exercises, and explained to
him what sort of recreation was best
suited to him.
He took a mail course in efficiency,
and, of course, learned just what to do
in his daily work.
His life was like clockwork. He
took no course in love. He thought he
was wise enough to escape.
_Claribel saw him, met him, married
him—and ever after he had no furth-
er use for his expert advice.—Kathe-
rine Negley in Judge.
estate ody Amin
Not Feceiing Much Better.
Many are not being benefitted by the
summer vacation as they should be. Not-
withstanding much outdoor life, they are
little if any stronger now than they were.
The tan on their faces is darker and makes
them look healthier, but it is only a mask.
They are still nervous, easily tired, upset
by trifles, and they do not eat nor sleep
well.
What they need is what tones the nerves,
perfects digestion, creates an appetite, and
makes sleep refreshing. In other words,
they should take Hood’s Sarsaparilla. Pu-
pils, teachers, and others generally will
find the chief purpose of the vacation best
subserved by this great medicine which
If a cathartic or laxative is needed,
Hood's Pills will give entire satisfaction.
It is difficult to conceive of anything bet-
ter for biliousness or constipation. 67-31
Receipts from the State gasoline tax
of a 1 cent a gallon leaped to $265,
846.20 for June, the banner month
this year, and are expected to increase
above that figure during July and Au-
gust. The amount of “gas” tax col-
lected by the State last month was
$55,000 more than in June and almost
four times as much as was collected
in January.
Total receipts for the first six
months of the year aggregated $1,-
001,828.86, as follows:
$151,391.90; April
distribute the counties’ share.
Philadelphia,
in the order named.
January $71,-
052.81; February $125,408.49; March
$176,889.55; May
$210,244.54. One-half of the tax goes
to the counties in which it was col-
lected and the State is preparing to
Allegheny, Luzerne,
Montgomery, Berks and Lackawanna
were the highest producers of the tax
Caldwell & Son
Plumbing ana Heating
By Hot Water
Vapor
CET SE Sy
Steam
DAY THURSDAY Pipeless Furnaces
SEASHORE
EXCURSION
August. 24
Asbury Park
Ocean
Grove
Camp Meeting
ROUND
TRIP
$14.46
BELLEFONTE
via Lock Haven
from
Proportionate fares from other nearby points.
ges Tickets good going on late train August 23, or on regular
trains August 24 and returning on all regular trains, except
limited trains, until September 8,
Philadelphia in both directions.
inclusive. Stop-off allowed at
Pennsylvania System
The Route of the Broadway Limited.
TE TR I RT
67-31-2t
Full Line of Pipe and Fittings
AND MILL SUPPLIES
re.
ALL SIZES OF
Terra Cotta Pipe and Fittings
Estimates Cheerfully and Promptly
Furnished. 66-15
Fine Job Printing
.0—A SPECIALTY—o
AT THE
WATCHMAN OFFICE
There is no style of work, from the
cheapest “Dodger” to the finest
BOOK WORK
that we can not do in the most sat-
isfactory manner, and at Prices
consistent with the class of work.
Ca on or communicate with this
office.
Nash Leads the World in Motor Car Value
eT
BO
Wr
Nash Again Reduces Prices
Effective August 1, 1922
At the time of the last Nash price reduction
C. W. Nash frankly declared his policy of
keeping faith with buyers by passing on the
savings earned through increased business.
The response on the part of purchasers was
immediate and nation-wide. Sales rose to new
records monthly and at this writing we are
running 100% beyond last year’s business.
So again we announce new and lower prices
on every model in the Nash line, and this
proves, as nothing else could prove, the truth-
fulness of the statement that ‘Nasi Leads
the World in Motor Car Value.”
SIXES
Five-Passenger Touring . $1240
Seven-Passenger Touring
Seven-Passenger Sedan
Coupe
Roadster .
Sport Model . .’
1390
2190
1890
1210
1395
FOURS
Five-Passenger Touring
Roadster.
Coupe.
Sedan .
Cab .
Carriole
f. 0. b. factory
$ 935
915
1385
1545
1195
1275
WION G
ARAGE, Bellefonte, Pa.
WILLIS E. WION, Propriotor.