‘Drona fin Bellefonte, Pa., October 31, 1919. PA’S SADDEST HOURS. By Edgar A. Guest. My Pa is seldom solemn, he is mostly full of fun. He says he hates to scold us for the wrong we may have done; He's always gay an’ smiling, an’ he'll romp about the floor, : An’ he’s never cross an’ cranky like the man that lives next door. But I've noticed, though he tells us that the good are always glad, That the times Ma asks for money Pa be- comes a trifle sad. He will stand for all the racket that we make, without a word, An’ I know he has some troubles, them I've never heard. He is mostly always laughin’, an’ we look for him each day, Cause we know when supper’s over that with us he’ll want to play. But when Ma asks him for money then a change comes over dad, An’ his face gets long an’ solemn, an’ he seems a trifle sad. Then his fingers tap the table as he thinks a little while, An’ his forehead gets all wrinkled an’ his face forgets to smile, he says: ‘Good gracious, where did all the money go That you got from me last Tuesday? That is what I'd like to know.” Pa is really kind and cheerful, an’ it real- ly seems too bad That Ma has to ask for money, ’cause it always makes him sad. but of An’ mother, THE NIGHT CALL. (Concluded from last week). “Be quick,” cried the doctor; “lay her head lower on the pillows, loosen her dress, warm her hands.” He had caught up his satchel, and was looking for a little vial. He found it almost empty. But there were four or five drops of the yellowish, oily liquid. He poured them on his hand- kerchief and held it close to the lady’s mouth. She was still breathing regu- larly though slowly, and as she inhal- ed the pngent, fruity smell, like the odor of a jargonelle pear, a look of relief flowed over her face , her relief flowed over her face, her lips relaxed, the terror faded from her eyes. He went to his satchel again and took out a bottle of white tablets marked “Nitroglycerine.” He gave her one of them, and when he saw her look of peace grow steadier, after a minute, he prepared the electric bat- tery. Softly he passed the sponges charged with their mysterious current over her temples and her neck and down her slender arms and blue-vein- ed wrists, holding the electrodes for a while in the palms of her hands, which grew rosy. In all this the Baron had helped as he could, and watched closely, but without a word. He was certainly not indifferent; neither was he dis- tressed; the expression of his black eyes and heavy, passionless face was that of presence of mind, self-control, covering an intense curiosity. Car- michael conceived a vague sentiment of dislike for the man. When the patient rested easily they stepped outside the room together for a moment, : ! : “It is the angina, I suppose,” dron- ed the Baron, “hein? That is of great inconvenience. But I think it is the false one, that is much less grave— not truly dangerous, hein?” “My dear sir,” answered Car- michael, “who can tell the difference between a false and a true angina, ex- cept by a post-mortem? The symp- toms are much alike, the result is sometimes identical, if the paroxysm is severe enough. But in this case I hope that you may be right. Your wife’s illness is severe, dangerous, but not necessarily fatal. This attack has passed and may not recur for weeks or even months.” The lip-smile came back under the Baron’s sullen eyes. oe “Those are the good news. my dear doctor,” said he, slowly. “Then we shall be capable to travel soon, per- haps tomorrow or the next day. It is of an extreme importance. This place is insufferable to me. We have en- gagements in Washington—a gay season.” Carmichael looked at him steadily and spoke with deliberation. “Baron, you must understand me clearly. This is a serious case. If I had not come in time your wife might be dead now. She cannot possibly be moved for a week, perhaps it may take a month to restore her strength. After that she rust have a winter of absolute quiet and repose.” The Frenchman’s. face “a dened: his brow drew together in a black line, and he lifted his hand auickiy with a gesture of irritation. Then he bowed. “As you will, doctor! And for the present moment, what is it that I may have the honor to do for your patient?” “Just now,” said the doctor, “she needs a stimulant—a glass of sherry or of brandy, if you have it—and a hot-water bag—you have none? Well, then, a couple of bottles filled with hot water and wrapped in a cloth to put to her feet. Can you get them?” The Baron bowed again, and went down the stairs. As Carmichael re- turned to the bedroom he heard the droning, insistent voice calling “Gas- pard! Gaspard!” The great gray eyes were open as he entered the room, and there was a sense of release from pain and fear in them that was like the deepest kind of pleasure. “Yes, I am much better,” said she; “the attack has passed. Will it come again? No? Not soon, you mean. Well, that is good. You need not tell me what it is—time enough ‘for that tomorrow. But come and sit by me. I want to talk to you. Your first name is—” “Leroy,” he answered. “But you are weak; you must not talk much.” “Only a little,” she replied, smil- ing; “it does me good. Leroy was your mother’s name—yes? It is not a Calvinton name. I wonder where your father met her. Perhaps in France when he came to look for me. He did not find me—no, ' indeed—I was well hidden—but he found your mother. You are young enough to be my son. Will you be a friend to me for your father’s sake?” She spoke gently in a tone of in- finite kindness and tender grace, with pauses in which a hundred unspoken recollections and appeals were sug- gested. The young man was deeply moved. He took her hand in his firm clasp. “Gladly,” he said, “and for your sake too. But now I want you to rest.” “Oh,” she answered, “I am resting now. But let me talk a little more. It will not harm me. I have been through so much! Twice married— a great fortune to spend—all that the big world can give. But now I am very tired of the whirl. There is on- ly one thing I want—to stay here in| Calvinton. I rebelled against it! once; but it draws me back. There is a strange magic in the place. Haven't you felt it? How do you explain it?” “Yes,” he said, “I have felt it sure- ly, but I can’t explain it, unless it is a kind of ancient peace that makes you wish to be at home here even while you rebel.” She nodded her head and smiled softly. “That is it,” she said, hesitat- ing for a moment—“but my husband —you see he is a very strong man, and he loves the world, the whirling life—he took a dislike to this place at once. No wonder, with the house in such a state! But I have plenty of money—it would be easy to restore the house. Only, sometimes I think he cares more for the money than— but no matter what I think. He wish- es to go on at once—tomorrow, if we can. I hate the thought of it. Is it possible for me to stay? Can you help me?” “Dear lady,” he answered, lifting her hand to his lips, “set your mind at rest. I have already told him that it is impossible for you to go for! many days.” A sound in the hallway announced | the return of the Baron and Gaspard | with the hot-water bottles and the cognac. The doctor made his patient as comfortable as possible for the | night, prepared a sleeping-draught | and gave directions for the use of the tablets in an emergency. i “Good night,” he said, bending over her. “I will see you in the morning. You may count upon me.” { “I do,” she said, with her eyes rest- ing on his; “thank you for all. I shall expect you—au revoir.” As they went down the stairs he said to the Baron, “Remember, abso- | lute repose is necessary. With that you are safe enough for tonight. But you may possibly need more of the nitrite of amyl. My vial is empty. 4 will write the prescription, if you wi allow me.” “In the dining room,” said the Bar- on, taking up the lamp and throwing open the door of the back room on the right. The floor had been hastily swept and the rubbish shoved into the fireplace. The heavy chairs stood along the wall. But two of them were drawn up at the head of the, long mahogany table, and dishes and table utensils from a traveling basket were lying there, as if a late supper had been served. oy : “You see,” said the Baron. drawl- ing, “our banquet-hall! "Madame and I Fave dined in this splendor tonight. Is it possible that you write here?” His secret irritation, his insolence, his contempt spoke clearly enough in his tone. The remark was almost like | an’ intentional insult. For a second Carmichael hesitated. “No.” ‘he’ thought, “why should I quarrel with him? He is only sullen. He ¢an' do no harm.” He pulled a chair to the foot of the table. took out his tablet and his fountain-pen, and wrote the prescrip- tion. Tearing off the leaf, he folded : it crosswise and left it on the table. In the hall, as he put on his coat he remembered the paper. “My prescription,” he said, “I must take it to the druggist tonight.” or “Permit me,” said the Baron. “the room is dark. I will take the paper, : and procure the drug as I return from ' escorting the doctor to his residence.” He went into the dark room. grop- ed about for a moment, and returned, | closing the door behind him. | “Come, Monsieur,” he said, “your! work at the Chateau Gordon is finish- ed for this night. I shall leave you with yourself—at home. as you say— in a few moments. Gaspard—Gas- | pard, fermez la porte a cle!” The strong nasal voice echoed | through the house, and the servant ran lightly down the stairs. His! master muttered a few sentences to him, holding up his right hand as he | did so, with the five fingers extended, | as if to impress something on the! man’s mind. : “Pardon,” he said, turning to Car- | michael, “that I speak always French, | after the rebuke. k But this time it is of necessity. I repeat the instruction | for the pilules. One at each hour un-| til eight o’clock—five, not more—it is! correct? Come, then, our equipage is! always harnessed, always ready— | how convenient!” The two men did not speak as the car rolled through the brumous night. | A rising wind was sifting the fog. The loosened leaves came whirling, ! fluttering, sinking through the dark- ness like a flight of huge dying! moths. Now and then they brushed | the faces of the travelers with limp, ! moist wings. i The red night-lamp in the drug-' store was still burning. Carmichael | called the other’s attention to it. | “You have the prescription?” | “Without doubt!” he answered. “After I have escorted you, I shall | procure the drug.” : The doctor’s front door was lit up! as he had left it. The light stream-| ed out brightly and illumined the | Baron’s sullen black eyes and smiling | Jims as he leaned from the car, lifting | is cap. P i “A thousand thanks, my dear Doc- | tor; you have been excessively kind; : ves, truly of an excessive goodness for | us. It is a great pleasure—how do! you tell itin English 7—it is a great pleasure to have met you. Adieu.” “Till tomorrow morning,” said Car- | michael, cheerfully, waving his hand. | The Baron stared at him curiously, and lifted his cap again. i “Adieu!” droned the insistent voice, | and the great car slid into the dark. | The next morninry was of crystal. | As Carmichael drove his electric | phaeton down the leaf-littered street, | where the country wagons and the decrepit hacks were already meander- | ing placidly, and out ‘along the high- | road, between the still green fields, it seemed to him as if the experience of the past night were “such stuff as dreams are made of.” Yet the im- pression of what he had seen and heard in that firelit chamber—of the eyes, the voice, the hand of that Strangely lovely lady—of her vision of sudden death, her essentially lonely struggle with it, her touching words to him when she came back to life— all this was so vivid and unforgetable Jia he drove straight to Castle Gor- on. The great house was shut up likea tomb; every door and window was closed, except where half of one of the shutters had broken loose and hung by a single hinge. He drove around to the back. It was the same there. A slight cobweb was spun across the lower corner of the decor and tiny drops of moisture jeweled it. Perhaps it had been made in the early morning. If so, no one had come out of the door since night. Carmichael knocked, and knocked again. No answer. He called. No reply. Then he drove around to the portico with the tall white pillars and tried the front door. It was locked. He peered through the half-open win- dow into the drawing-room. The glass was crusted with dirt and the room was dark. - He was trying to make out the outlines of the huddled furniture when he heard a step behind him. It was the old farmer from the nearest cottage on the road. “Mornin’; Doctor! I seen ye comin’ in, and thot ye might want to see the house.” “Good morning, Scudder! I do, if you'll let me in. But first tell me about these automobile tracks in the drive.” The old man gazed at him with a kind of dull surprise as if the ques- tion were foolish. “Why, ye made up, didn’t ye?” “I mean those larger tracks—they were made by a much heavier car than mine.” “Oh,” said the old man. nodding, “them was made by a big machine that came in here las’ week. You see this house ’s bin shet up ’bout twen- ty-five years, ever sence ol’ Jedge Gordon died. B’longs to Miss Jean— her that run off with the Eye-talian— she kind er wants to sell it, and kind er not—ye see—" “Yes,” interrupted Carmichael, “but about that big machine—when did you say it was here?” “P’raps four or five days ago; I think it was a Wensday. Two fellers from Philadelfy—said they wanted to look at the house, thot of buyin’ it. So I bro’t ’em in, but when they seen ° ’em yerself, comin’ | | the outside of it they said they didn’t want to look at it no’ more—too big and too crumbly!” “And since then no one has been here?” Not a soul—leastways nobody that I seen. I don’t s’pose wou think o’ buyin’ the house, Doc’! It’s too lone- ly for an office, ain’t it?” “You're right, Scudder. much too lonely. But I'd like to look through the old place, if you will take me in.” The hall, with the two chairs and the table, on which a kitchen lamp with ‘a half-inch of oil in it was stand- ing, gave no sign of recent habita- tion. Carmichael glanced around ‘him and hurried up the stairway to the bedroom. A tall four-poster stood in one corner, with a dingy coverlet apparently hiding a mattress and some pillows. A dressing-table stood against the wall, and in the middle of the floor thére were a few chairs. A half-open closet door showed a pile of vellow linen. The daylight sifted dimly into the room through: the cracks of the shutters. ; “Scudder,” said Carmichael, “I want you to look around carefully and tell me whether you see any signs of any one having been here lately.” The old man stared, and turned his eyes slowly about the room. Then he shook his head. “Can’t say as I do. Looks pretty much as it did when me and my wife breshed it up in October. Ye seeit’s kind er clean fer an old house—not much dust from the road here. That linen and that bed’s bin here sence I ¢’n remember. Them burnt logs mus’ be left over from old Jedge Gordon's time. I b’lieve he died in her. what’s the matter, Doc’? Ye think tramps or burglars—”’ “No,” said Carmichael. “but what woul¢ you say if I told you that I was called here last night to see a patient, and that patient was the Miss Jean Gordon of whom you have just told me?” man, gaping. Then he gazed at the doctor pityingly, and shook his head. “I know ye ain’t a drinkin’ man, Doc’, so I wouldn’t say nothin’. But I gunss ve hin dreamin’. Why, las’ time Miss Jean writ to me—her name is Mortemer now, and her husband’s a kind er Barrin or some sort er fur- rin noble—she was in Paris, not more than two weeks ago! Said she was But - Born.” _ials by Elsie Singmaster, C. A. Steph- ‘ens, and other popular writers, which dyin’ to come back to the ol’ place ag’in, but she wa’n’t none too well, and didn’t guess she c’d manage it. Ef ye said ye seen her here las’ night dreamin’. the weather—bin workin’ too hard ?” “I never was better, Scudder, but sometimes curious notions come to me. I wanted to see how you would take this one. Now we'll go down- stairs again.” The old man laughed, but doubt- fully, as if he was still puzzled by the talk, and they descended the creak- ing, dusty stairs. Carmichael turned at once into the dining-room. The rubbish was still in the fire- place, the chairs ranged along the wall. There were no dishes on the long table; but at the head of it two chairs; and at the foot, one; and in front of that, lying on the table, a folded bit of paper. | —why—well, I'd jest think ye’d bin | P’raps ye're a little under | Carmichael picked it up and open- | ed it. It was his nitrite of amyl. : He hesitated a moment; then re- folded the paper and put it in his vest-pocket. Seated in the lever, he turned to Scudder, who prescription for the was watching him with curious eyes. ! ‘I'm very much obliged to you, Scudder, for taking me through ‘the house. And I'll ‘be more obliged to ' tail is much stronger than that of the you if you'll just keep it to yourself —what I night.” : ; ‘Sure,” said the old man, nodding gravely. “I like ye, Doc’, and that ~ said .to you about last: i would mot be on earth but.in the sev- : i down from three to four feet, giving his car. with his hand on | kind er talk might do ye harm here in | Calvinton. We don’t hold much to dreams and visions down this way. But, say, ’twas a mighty interestin’ | deam, wa'n’t it? I guess Miss Jean hones for them white pillars many a day—they sort er stand for old times. They draw ye, don’t they ?” “Yes,” said Carmichael, “they speak of the past. There is a magic in those white pillars. They draw | you.”—By Henry Van Dyke, in Har- | per’s Monthly Magazine. Two New Deans at State College. Among the many additions to the faculty of The Pennsylvania State ! College this year are found the names of A. R. Warnock, Dean of Men, and Miss Margaret A. Knight, Dean of Women. ; Dean Warnock comes to Penn State from the University of Illinois, ! his Alma Mater, where he was assist- ant Dean of Men since 1910. He oc- cupies very much the same position vacated in 1918 by Dean Arthur | Holmes who became president of | Drake University, Des Moines, Ia. At Penn State his duties will be most~ ly along lines of welfare and organi- | zation work among students, with | whom he has already become very ! popular. His office is besieged daily by students who make it a clearing, house for their troubles and difficul- ties. Dean Warnock had an excellefit record at the University of Illinois. Miss Knight comes to Penn State with a war record that won her spe- cial mention in the dispatches of Sir Douglas Haig. She acted as an in- terpreter and dietitian at U. S. A. Base Hospital No. 12 and was deco- rated by King George with the Mili- tary Order of the British Empire. She is a daughter of Dean George W. Knight, of Ohio State University, and was graduated from Vassar in 1903. She has been a teacher in the Columbus School for Girls, and the Braatwood Hall School, Bronxville, N. Y. In 1915 she received her M. A. degree at Ohio State and in 1916-17 was assistant Dean of Women at Northwestern University. She went overseas in May, 1917, and upon her return last summer accepted her present position at Penn State. 4% + Sarees rat ——— { Recruiting Station at Philipsburg. The U. S. army is opening a gen- eral recruiting station at the post- office in Philipsburg for the purpose of giving the young men of that lo- cality an opportunity to eiilist in any branch of the service they desire. They may enlist for either one or three years, whichever they wish, for service in the United States or on the Mexican border, and men who have ad prior service may now enlist for the American expeditionary forces in Europe or Siberia for one year, and men who have never been in the ar- my may enlist for those places or any other foreign country for a period of three years. Sergt. Kreidler, who will be in charge of the recruiting station in Philipsburg, will gladly give any in- formation desired on the army in general or any other information about family allowances, back pay or the victory buttons. : The army pay ranges from $30 a month up to $105.00 a month, and young men enlisting may now ac- quire a good education or rn any one of seventy-seven trades or profes- sions, and be paid full pay and al- lowances while doing it. For full in- formation meet the sergeant at the postoffice in Philipsburg. ; The Best Christmas Present at Any Price. rt How can you make your money go further for Christmas cheer than with a year’s subscription to The Youth’s Companion? it brings so much into a household—its stories for readers of all ages, its serious and informing contributions, its editorial pages, its intelligent and trustworthy comment on the great and tragic. events of the time, its wit and humor. There is nothing quite like The Com- | panion in all periodical literature. If you subscribe at once you will | receive the opening chapters . of | Charles B. Hawes’ 10-chapter serial story, The Son of a “Gentleman ! There are several other ser- | will insure the keenest interest throughout the year. All the family read ‘the Companion because it is ed- ited for every age. New subscribers for 1920 will re- ceive: 1. The Youth’s Companion—b52 is- sues in 1920. y 2. All remaining weekly 1919 is- sues. 3. '.he Companion Home Calen- dar for 1920. All the above for $2.50. 4. McCall’s Magazine for 1920, $1.00—the monthly fashion authori- ty. Both publications for only $2.95. THE YOUTH'S COMPANION, Commonwealth Ave. & St. Paul St., Bos- ton, Mass. Bird With a Twelve-Foot Tail. The brid with the longest tail comes from Japan. Some of them have tails as much as twelve feet long. When they go for a walk in the open air they are accompanied by a special train bearer who keeps the tail from touching the ground. It is a variety of the barndoor fowl. In the same way that pouters and fan- tail pigeons have been developed from the common pigeon in Europe, the long-tailed cocks are reared in Shin- owara, a village on the island of Ski- koku. They are kept in long, thin cages, lighted at the top. The bird naturally remains perched at the top with its graceful tail hanging down. If they have to travel they are put in long, narrow boxes, the tail being crushed as little as possible. This ordinary cock. The feathers of the wings are very long, too, and grow the tail a very bushy appearance.— Kind Words. . Up in the Air. She—I would ‘not marry any man on earth. .He—But if you accepted me I enth heaven of happiness. She—You dear boy; I am yours! ! subjects with unusual “APPY NATIVES OF SAhabu- . Under Wise Government, People Liv Easy Lives in Their Gloriously Fertile Country. The tribe of Kayans, inhabiting the head waters of the Baram and Rejang rivers of Sarawak, have lived for un- known generations almost isolated in the interior of the island of Borneo 'I'nere are many reasons for believing them to be originally of Caucasian origin. Many of them have very light skin, and they probably reached Bor- neo by way of the Malay peninsula from lower Burma. Rigid discipline is characteristic of the domestic me- nage, resulting in good manners and recognition of authority. FFor a good many years Sarawak was under the independent govern- ment of a white rajah, Sir Charles Brooke, who controlled his mingled wisdom and sympathy. Among other far-sighted edicts he instituted stringent game laws, so that the island is one of the best protected parts of the world in this respect. Birds, beasts and butter: flies are protected, not more than two specimens of any one species being allowed to the collector. In this way the very beautiful and rare trees and insects of the country are being main- tained for the enjoyment of future generations. Another wise move of the rajuh was to continue the native costume— what there is of it—in place of intro- ducing the unsuitable, ugly and arti- ficial modern clothing of Europeans. This, as Stevenson points out, has usually exactly the opposite effect from that intended by well-meaning | missionaries, and the happy natives of | Sarawak are very well off as they are. GOOD WORK WITH CAMERA Explorers in Northwestern Canada Have Photographic Studies of Wilderness Wild Life. After a three years’ hunt with th» camera in the almost unknown Lair river district in northwestern Canada, H. A. Stewart and John Sonnickson have come back to civilization by way ; of Peace river, Alberta, bringing sev- eral thousand photographic studies of the manners and customs of the wild life of those remote woods and streams. The explorers, for they well deserve the name, worked into the wilderness by way of Hudson's Hope and the. forks of the Findlay and Parsnip rivers as far as Fort Gra- hame. Their negatives illustrate the habits of the ptarmigan, moose, beav- er, Canadian wild geese and other an- Imals and birds that have seldom been observed with anything like thorough- ness by means of the camera. The travelers had devices of various sorts whereby their. subjects were enticed to spots upon which the hidden lenses were focused; and upon reaching these spots an ambushed camera man “snapped” them by twitching a long cord attached to the lens shutter. A single negative of some specially shy animal was often the only fruit of many hours of patient waiting. Some- times for’ days the explorers would watch a single spot through their field glasses awaiting the favorable mo- ment to “shoot.” But it was all worth it. : — Glean'ng the Stumps. The rapid decrease in the number of tall stumps which have been so. fa- miliar to the traveler through the coast hills of Oregon, is regarded as an in- dication of their approaching extinc- tion. Hitherto some 20 feet. of each stump has been left standing, silent relics of former monarchs of the forest. too thick for most saws to compass and too full of pitch to suit the saw- mills. But now the need for timber is greater and men no longer climb high np on to boards thrust into notehes in the trunk to suit the saw and the saw- mill. They have learned thrift and they cut low down lest good lumber he uselessly wasted. Only as a record of past wastefulness are the tall stumps with their deep notches stil! visible. A Filipino Vassar. What the occidental ideals of univer- sal opportunities of education are to mean to women of the Orient takes on a large significance with the estab- lishment in the Philippines of a uni- versity for girls only. This university is to be part of an educational group called Centro Escolor de Senoritas, where until now the instruction to girls has been only in the primary, secondary and Infermodinte grades. That this Filipino Vassar will develop traditions characteristic of girls’ col- leges in the United States cannot he doubted by anyone who has observed how wholeheartedly though shyly, girl students from the Orient have en- tered into the undergraduate studies, festivities and pastimes at American colleges. Coquelin’s Memory. “How many parts do you know well enough to play tonight if need be?” somebody asked Coquelin. He took a sheet of paper and wrote down the names of 53 plays of his repertoire. His friends laughed. “You are boasting surely, mon ami?” said the Viscomte de Lovenjoul. “You have every one of these plays in your library,” said Coquelin quietly. “Get them all out and put them on the table.” The viscomte did so. “Now,” said Coquelin, “let anybody select a cue fram any one of these plays at hap- hazard and give it to me.” They tried him with 16 plays out of the 53 and he never missed a single cue or made one mistake.~Fortnightly Re: view. — AGAINST WAGES FOR WIVES Gathering of Women Ridicuie tha Idea, Labeling It as “Commercializ- ing the Home.” Ra Wages for wives were turned down by an audience largely of women here the other night after a debate on whether husbands should be required to pay such wages, says the Philadel- phia Evening Bulletin. One speaker drew a dismal picture of the future of romance with wives working for wages. “Imagine a scene like this,” he said: “Honey, do you love me?” “Of course I love you.” “Then will you marry me?” “Well, maybe. How much do you pay?” “Suppose tne wives were to join the soviet of waiters-up and charge triple wages for waiting up nights for husbands.” he said. “Imagine a wife going into society and being labeled a $15-a-week wife. A woman can take a last-year hat and make it look like new. But when she signed a contract for $15 a week there would be no hiding it from the neighe bors.” Another speaker pleaded that “wom- an shall not be brought down from her pedestal as a queen and made a mere employee of man.” In depicting the future of romance under the wage sys- tem he said the marriage ceremony would have to be revised to read: “With this ring I hire thee, and will pay thee $15 a week by the aid of the world, the flesh and the devil.” Notices like the following he pre- dicted would be published: “Married—John Brown and Mary Smith, by Rev. Russell H. Conwell. They will live in Logan and the wife’s wages will be $15 a week.” Scenes like the following in court were forecast: “Judge, he hired me for $20 a week and he is now two weeks overdue In my pay. I'm going to get a new boss.™® LOOKING AHEAD A FEW YEARS Remarks That Will Be Merely Ordi. nary When the Blimp Has Been ; Finally Perfected. . Augustus Tolliver, the soap king, strode wrathfully out of his stateroom aboard the blimp and seized the arra of the porter. “Idiot!” he roared, “why didn’t you give me a call this morning? I told you I had to be in London for a di- rectors’ meeting at 9 a. m. sharp, and now London is Lord knows how many thousands of miles in our rear.” “Ah pounded on yo’ door, boss, but yo' refuses to waken,” replied the porter. FM The soap king pulled out a watch. “Eleven-thirty,” he grunted dis- gustedly. “Where are we now?” ‘Jest passed over St. Louis, boss; we'll be back in N'Yawk at 12:05.” “Oh! well,” said Tolliver, “1 can attend that 12:30 meeting of the soap powder people and catch the 1:30 blimp for London.” Rat Skins for Leather. The suggestion has been made that the rat problem might be hest solved by making use of the skins of the rodents for the purpose of leather. Somebody with the gift of guessing computes that there are 10,000.000 in this country, and the damage they do would feed a good-sized army. It would take at least 5,000 skins a day ‘tc supply a small modern tannery. Nobody wants the rats, they belong to anybody that can catch them. That is the problem—to catch them, and then deliver the goods. There {8 not enough leather to go around. Fish skins are susceptible of tan- ning, and there are rat skins which make good leather, large enough for many purposes. Cure for Poison lvy. Mrs. Evelyn S. Trenbath, wife of the Rev. Robert W. Trenbath, rector of St. James’s Episcopal church of Montclair, N. J., has conferred a boon on suffer- ers from poison ivy by announcing a remedy which those who have tried It say is a most eflicacious remedy. It is simply the green leaves of common catnip rubbed on the affected parts un« til the juice runs. This never fails, Mrs. Trenbath says, no matter how advanced the case may be, and is simple to use, especially in the case of children. The plant grows usually in great abundance behind old barns, and is said to be so antagonis- tic to the ivy that if planted near it the ivy disappears. Volcano That Emits Lava. The following is reported by an ob- server in Hawaii: Tremendous changes are in progress at Kilauea, and there is no indication whatsoever of any cessation of the monumental rising of the entire vast lava column. Over the southwest brink a wide stream of glistening lava is sluggishly flowing in the direction of the Kalu desert, not with the spectacular cas- cading torrents of the southeastern flows of last March, but with a steady, stealthy gliding, which gains ground slowly at its base, but which piles up into tremendous masses from its source forward. Dry Lead for Batteries. A dry battery utilizing red lead, in- stead of the usual manganese com- pound, has been patented by H. Czanyl. It is claimed that the red lead battery lasts longer than the type now in vogue, may be kept inactive for months without any deterioration and may be recharged at least ten times, with onch recharge as efficient as any pres- ent battery.