a Tm — -
"© Then, turning to the assistant man-
aging editor, she also shook him ef-
fusively by the hand. exclaiming.
wGoodby. Mr. Bliss, goodby!”
Davenport came nest. There was
fo escape for him. “Dear Mr. Daven-
port. goodby!” she cried with all the
he said to her, “1 saw
I hope I shall
never be pained to bear of you doing."
‘What was that, papa?’ the daugh
ter asked.
“1 saw little Mary Goodgir] stick her
tongue out at a man today.”
The child. evidently thinking that it
was an occasion to tell of the faults
of the other girl, said:
“Papa. 1 saw Mary"—
The doctor interrupted and told the
child she must not gossip and if she
knew anything that was not nice about
anybody she must keep it to herself.
The child looked at her father and
then said quickly:
“Well, papa, why did you tell me
about Mary?’
The physician was so surprised he
could not answer.—Philadelphia Times.
His Only Blemish.
When the pious looking lady entered
the London birdshop and stated her
need of a talking parrot the proprietor
upeckoned 'e’d got the werry thing the
lady wanted.” “Course, me'am.” Le
said, “you don't want a wulgar bird.
This ‘ere one, now. was brought over
by a missionary. Talks like a reg’lar
book, 'e does. 1 wouldn't let im
go if 1 didn't think you'd give "im a re-
spectable ‘ome. Thirty-five shillings
that bird, ma'am.”
“you'll soon know!" screeched Pol-
ly. “You'll soon know"
“Dear me. How quaint!” gushed the
lady. and 35 shillings changed hands.
“What does he mean by ‘you'll soon
know.’ 1 wonder?”
“It's ‘is only blemish, ma'am.”
smiled the birdshop man. *'E's got
it into 'is ’ead that every one's won-
derful anxious to find out wot a mis-
sionary sez when ’e ’its *is thumb with
a 'ammer.”
What She Missed.
Six-year-old Ruth was very unhappy
because one of her many wants bad
been denied. Her papa was giving ber
a lecture and said. “You have every-
thing that most little girls bave, and !
don't think there is another little girl
in town has more than you.”
“Qh, yes,” sald Ruth. “Alice has.”
“What has she that you have not?"
said papa.
“Well, I guess she had a ride to her
grandma’s funeral.”—Exchange.
The Serpent's Venom.
A physician while talking with a
group of friends remarked: “It is com-
mon to hear people speak about poi-
sonous serpents. Serpents are never
poisonous: they are venomous. A
poison cannot be taken internally with-
our bad effects: a venom can. Venoms
to be effective have to be injected di-
rectly into the circulation, and this is
the manner in which the snake kills.
Their venom taken internally is in-
nocuous.”
The Weapon He Needed.
An excited citizen burst frantically
into the police station. “My life's in
danger!” he cried. “I've just received
a threatening letter from the Black
Hand. and I want a permit to carry a
weapon.”
“All right, sir,” replied the captain.
“I'll give you a permit to carry a fan
—that’s the weapon you need: some-
thing that will keep you cool.”—Chi-
cago News.
An Odd Apology.
This is the classic apology of a cele-
brated statesman of the last genera-
tion: “Mr. Speaker, in the heat of de-
bate I stated that the right honorable
and unprincipled adventurer.
now, in a calmer moment, to state that
1 am sorry for it.”
‘the infinite wonder and beauty of na-
Dan bad two of his fingers cut off
with a steam saw, and they got lost
among the sawdust, and two of my
nates were down on their hands
3
;
!
i
;
i
* “We are looking for Dan's
* «Oh, come out of the }
foreman. ‘That's pot the way to
Yorkshire man's fingers.’ at the
time taking a shilling out of his pocket
and throwing it among the sawdust.
when the two fingers at once popped
up after it.
» “Phere!” said the foreman. ‘That's
the way to find a Yorkshire man’s lost
fingers.’ "—Pearson’s.
———————————
Providing For His Guests.
Two men stopped at the store of a
1s
His friend politely controlled his eur
prise at discovering that the broker
wore five cent collars and inquired only
about the elastic neck. The purchaser
said:
“We live in the suburbs. Friends
who visit us and remain overnight
unexpectedly want clean collars the
pext morning. It depletes my own
stock too far to keep furnishing these.
1 can't always supply a comfortable
size either. Of course the collars nev-
er come back. Since 1 discovered the
scheme of five cent collars 1 can pick
up anybody. take him home with me
and inform him that be need not bring
any luggage, because one of my wife's
beneficences includes five cent tooth-
brushes for the wayfarer."—New York |
Sun.
A Martyr to Art.
“Which tooth?” inquired the man of
forceps grimly.
“Any one you like.” responded the
victim calmly. “so long as it's a front
one.” 1
“But”— began the astounded dentist. |
“Hurry up!” thundered the visitor.
With bleeding heart the operator
hitched his forceps on to a bit of ab-
solutely sound ivory. dragged his pa-
tient three times around the room
and—
“Hey, presto!” smiled the dentist. |
“It's out! But will you be so good as |
to tell me why on earth you wanted a
sound tooth extracted?”
“By all meanth,” responded the pa-
tient. “You thee, I'm an actor. and 1
have to take a part where the thpeak-
er lithpth. At firtht 1 couldn't mathter |
it. but now I'm thure it'll be a thimply |
thereaming thuctheth!™ i
The Ever Active Brain.
The question, “Does the brain ever
rest” would seem to be answerable |
only in the negative. Unconscious |
cerebration appears to be a DeCesSary | ype north of Italy. early in the last Ta
Etiquette and Danger.
“Ezra.” said the farmers wife, “1
wish you wouldn't lenu your elbers on
sald | tn table.”
+
“Huh,” sneered the farmer, “gettin’'
fastiderous, ain't you? Mebby you'll
i : gv
fit 1
13isiss i
: ! cE gg h
nfzgt
ffl
et HH
“Well, you've gone an’ done it now!”
“That's a pret-
ty mess, ain't it?
sense of a chipmunk you'd have know-
ed th’ reason I didn't want you to lean
on th' table wuz ‘cause th’ legs wus
rickety. An’ | guess a little etiquette
wouldn’t hurt you none anyway, Ezra
Doolittle, to say nothin’ of savin’ $2
wuth of family crockery.”
And the disgusted farmer stumbled
out from the scene of wreckage and
chased a harmless tramp three miles
down the road with an ax handle.—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Handicapped.
Englishmen use their hands compara-
tively little in conversation, but French-
men use them a good deal. Quaintly
enough, Parisians have a very keen
sense of the exaggerated way in which
the southern Frenchman and the Ital
fan help on what they have to say
with their bands. and this accounts
for the following story:
An Italian rajlway thief was caught
redhanded in the train, handcuffed and
brought to Paris. As he was walking
out of the Gare de Lyon between two
detectives a friend met him.
“Hello!” he said. “Where have you
been this long time, and how are you?”
The prisoner looked at him pathet-
fcally and shook his head.
“What's the matter?" said his friend.
“Have you been stricken dumb?"
The prisoner raised his handcuffed
hands. “Very nearly,” he said.—Lon-
don M. A. P.
Room and Board For Single Gentleman
“So. Belinda, 1 bear you and ‘Doc’
have parted company. Couldn't you
get along?”
“No'um; least | couldn't. D'ye know
that low down nigger just ma'led me
fo' my money?"
“No?” 1 said.
“yas'm. He saw all them things in
my pa'lor. silber butter dishes and
crayon portraits that you and the othe’
white ladies’ gi’ me, and he just
thought he was goin’ to set in there
and smoke while 1 washed and i'ned.
And 1 had a big burial insurance, too,
and be knowed that. So 1 jes' natch-
ully tu'ned him out.”
“Yes.” 1 said. “But I thought I saw
patents. 60 years experience. -
him going in your back gate last! ents taken th Munn & Co, receive Special
8 y il FR ae
week.”
“Oh, to be sure! He's round. but
he's jes’ boa’din’ with me DOW."— tion of any scientific journal. Terms $3 a year;
a
Ladies’ Home Journal.
Beginning of the Germ Theory.
o Bassi. a country doctor in
|
|
|
i
!
i
concomitant of the powers of intellect, |
| century was the starter of the germ |
iy during sleep, whether we remem- | ¢poory of disease. At that time a pe- |
r it or not. we are always dream- | oyjjpr Qisease was killing the silk-
ing. Of course. during waking time | w,rms bringin
3 g ruin to the whole silk |
we are perpetually thinking, thinking, country of Italy. Bassi, by the micro- |
and shoulder "
thinking—not always logically and de- scope. discovered the germ which is! also for sale 3 large collection of Yea! and imita-
liberately, but. all the same, thinking.
Dream is the thought of the sleep
time, when reason is out of the game,
and the fancy. or imagination, has the
the cause of the disease. The germ
later was named Botritis bassiana.
Bassi believed and stated that human | extracts, and all of Hudaur's rs gy
| diseases were Also CAUSE] DY ROTNS, | se ——————
reins, with nothing to hold ber back. pacep's work was sneered at and pooh- |
We take many a trip under her guid- | hed Now Wu
ance that we are unable to recall when Do 1a dis teloy we al ui
she has resigned the reins into the
hands of reason. Awake or asleep, we |
are always busy. The mind never
rests.—New York American. |
i
The Turkish Soldier's Fatalism. !
The lethargy of mind which is the |
mental habit of the Turkish soldier— |
the personal expression of fatalism--is
a most valuable quality in its way, for
it means that its possessor is always
cool and collected. grumbles little and
has marvelous endurance. It is alien |
to all forms of panic, just as it is alien |
to a conspicuous elan. If the Turkish
soldier never goes very fast. he never
goes very slow. Except by the best
trained or most dashing troops he is
bad to beat.—London Spectator.
He Chose Quickly. i
“Gerald,” she said. facing him with |
heightened color and putting her hands |
behind her, “you will have to choose |
between me and your old pipe.”
Not an instant did Gerald hesitate.
“The old pipe gues. dear.” he said.
throwing it away. “1 was thinking of
buying a new one anyhow. —Chicago
Tribune.
Look Up.
We dig and toil. we worry and fret,
and all the while close over us bends
ture, saying: “Look up. my child! Feel
my smile and be glad!"—G. 8. Mer-
riam.
Very Different.
Mrs. Bronson—My husband is plain
spoken. He calls a spade a spade. Mrs.
Woodson—So does mine. but 1 must de-
cline to repeat what he calls the lawn
mower.—Boston Globe.
J —
Caustic.
The QGirl—What’s your opinion of
women who imitate men? The Man—
They're idiots. The Girl—Then the
imitation is successful. — Cleveland
Leader.
Peevishness covers with its dark fog
even the most distant horizon.—Rich-
ter.
impression, thereby losing great glory
for Italia.—~New York Press.
The Orkney Islands.
“The member from the Orkneys” is
the only wan in the British house of | a.m.
commons who can say he sits for 200
islands. Only sixty of the islands are
inhabited, bat the constituency em-
braces more than 60.000 people.
The Orkneys were once given by
Norway to England as security for a
queen's dower aud never redeemed. lu |
the islands the voters must go to the
polls by boats. and in some cases the
distance to be traveled is eight miles.
First Aid.
“Now,” said the professor, ‘suppose
you had been called to see a patient
with hysterfes—some one, for instance,
who had started laughing and found
it impossible to stop—what is the first
thing you would do*"
“Amputate his funny bone,” prompt-
ly replied the new student.—Houston
Post.
Did Her Best.
“We're always careful about these
contiguous diseases.” said Mrs. Lap-
sling. “When Johnny had got well of
the measles we bought some sulphur
candles and disconcerted the nouse
from top to bottom." —Chicago Tribune.
An Advantage.
“So you prefer servants who speak
English imperfectly?”
“Yes” replied the housewife. “If I
don't understand what they say I am
not obliged to dismiss them so fre-
quently.”—Exchange.
Suspicion.
Once give your mind to suspicion
and there is sure to be food enough for
it. In the stillest night the air is filled
with sounds for the wakeful ear that
is resolved to listen.
The Common Complaint.
Probably this expression is used
oftener by people than any other: “Ev-
erything is blamed on me."—Atchison
Globe.
i
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OO0T:! BS
| R S BARKS HER
The Message a Dying Girl Conveyed to
Her Brother.
This is an absolutely true dream
story: A certain youvg lady. whom we
will call Mary A. wus recovering
from illness. The doctor had declared
her to be out of danger, and ber
friends and relatives were rejoicing in
the fact. Nevertheless Miss A., receiv-
ing a visit one day from a sister,
gravely assured her that she was go- :
ing to die. The sister poohpoohed the |
fdea and treated it as an invalid's fap-
cy. Miss A. however. with the ut-
most calmness. repeated her state-
ment. She was certain that she would
die that night and begged ber sister to
fetch her parents and other relatives |
to say goodby, Thinking to humor
her. the sister complied. One person
was absent from this strange family
gathering—a brother. who was at sea
and was expected home in au week or
two. “But it does not matter,” Miss
A. quietly observed “I suw him last
night in a dream and said goodby to
him in his cabin” Refore the sun
rose again Miss A's prediction bad
come true; she was dead. That. bow-
ever, is not the strangest part of this
weird story. When in due time the
sallor brother reached port he was met
by his other sister. who began to tell
him the sad news. “Ab.” he interrupt-
ed. “you need not tell me! Mary is
dead. 1 knew it, for she came to me
one night in my dreams and told me
she was going to die and wanted to
say goodby.” Ob comparing dates it
was found that the dreams were
dreamed on the selfsame night.—Lon-
don News.
——————
Knew What His Few Days Meant.
Quackly—By the bye. have you got
$10 about you that you don’t need for
a few days? Smackly-1 have, but |
might need it some time.— Exchange.
Want of care does us more damage
than want of kuowledge.- Franklin,
Hood's Sars-parilla.
That have at medicinal power, are
raised to r hi efficiency, for puri
fying and enriching the blood, as they are
com in Hood's e
— two boys, were broken out Shh
ng sores.
Hood's Sarsaparilla Bega a in
less Shans jrotith.” Nee, IRA BIRD, Port
0 od
40 testimonials received by actual
count in two years. Be sure to take
HOOD'S SARSAPARILLA
Get it today in usual liquid form or choco-
lated tablets called Sarsatabs. 55.28
Patents.
TENTS, TRADE MARKS, COPYRIGHTS,
&c. Anyone sending a sketch and de-
an tres le Soin 1 SOD pant
ree r an invention .
able. Communications are strictly confidential,
Handbook on patents sent free. Oldest agency
for securing Pat
SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN,
handsome illustrated weekly. Largest circula-
four months $1. Sold | newsdealers.
MUNN & CO..
52-45-1y. 631 Broadway New York.
Branch office, 625 F St., Washington, D. C.
Hair Dresser.
R THE LADIES.—Miss Jenme Morgan in
Be an Bnd Pe ishing oy
Ss -
ment by electricity, treatments of the scal
massage k
jet combs and ornamen
Travelers Guide.
ENTRAL RAILROAD OF PENNSYLVANIA.
‘Condensed Time Table effective June 17, 1909.
READ DOWN | READ UP,
- 1 | STATIONS | 1 1
No 1'No5 No 8| (No §No 4No2
| i }
p.m. p.m.|Lve. Ar. p.m. p.m. a.m.
17 05 5 " % BELLEFONTE. 910 505 940
715/706 2 32.......... Ngiesios sii | 857 452 927
72if711 237... ato lOeseraissss 8 51 44719 21
727718 2 45 HECLA PARK. 845 441 915
729 | 2 47........Dunkles....... 843 438 913
7 33/17 23) 2 51/...Hublersburg.... {8 39 4 34/9 09
7% J £4 2 32). Inndeniowh rvs 836 429 905
7 30/7 30 2 58 ......Nittany..... f8 34 4 27 {9 (2
742/f7 33 301 Huston 18 2 4 24/89 00
746/738 305... Lamar... f829 4 2118 57
7 48/7 40 3 08... Clintondale.... f8 26 4 18/8 54
7 52) 7 44’ 3 12| Krider's Siding..| 8 22, 4 14| 8 50
7 56/7 49 3 16/...M .... 18 18) 4 09/18 48
3% 754 3 22|..Cedar Spring... 812 403 843
8 751 32%... Salona........ 1810401 841
810, 802 3 30. MILL HALL. 805: 356 8 36
(N. Y. Central & Hudson RiverR. R.)
140 853... ersey Shore......... {| 309 782
12 15/ 9 30 Arr. v Lve.| 235 1720
112 20 11 Ro fs | warrorT | ie) 23%) 5
i , Y. | !
7%) 650... PHILADELPHIA. | 18 36, 11 3
1010, 900... YORK:........ | 900
i (Via Phila.)
p.m.! a.m. Arr Lve.! a.m.| p.m
t Week Days.
WALLACE H. GEPHART,
Superintendent.
ELLEFONTE CENTRAL RAILROAD.
Schedule to take effect Monday, Jan. 6. 1910
WESTWARD
Read down.
1
Nos No3 Nol
STATIONS. | I
it No2
: Ps
Nod No 6
1
|
Straw Hats at Half Price.
One Week Only
They Won't Last
Any Longer.
150
Men’s Suits
Some Young Men's
in the lot. All this
season’s goods. One
and two suits of a
kind,
At 1-3 Less
than the regular price.
There are only 150 Suits
included in this sale.
Come early if you want a
good selection.