t=
Bellefonte, Pa., April 29, 1910.
Me Lost All His Bets and Made Money
by Doing Se.
The captain of one rather old and
slow steamer of years ago, tinding that
be would have to be a long time in
China before he received a full cargo
of tea and would have probably to re-
turn in ballast, began, to every one's
astonishment. to say that, owing to
the repairs that had been done to his
engines. he hoped to make a racing
passage back to Enginnd, “hen. stil
more to the astonishment of the cape
tains of the fast steamers and the
world at large, he commenced to hick
himself to make the fastest passage
home.
In such very considerable sums of
money did he wager that people be-
gan to think there was something in
it, and the merchants sent their tea
almost entirely to his ship, arguing
that as the captain stood to loxe £250
the repairs to his steamers engines
had probably put him in a position to
bet almost on a certainty.
Of course the steamer. whose great-
est speed was eight knots an hour, ar-
rived in England weeks after the oth-
ers. and the captain lost £250, but in-
stead of having to lie in China wait-
ing his chance of cargo coming in
from the interior, a probable delay of
weeks, he had cleared in a few days
after his bets became known to the
public with a full ship, thus recouping
to his owners, who, of course, paid his
betting losses, a considerable number
of thousands of pounds profit.—Black-
wood’'s Magazine,
The Result of Pechantre’'s Plot to Kill
the King.
Probably no well meaning poet was
ever more taken by surprise than was
M. Pechantre, a gentle and mild man-
nered French dramatist of the seven-
teenth century, who was one day ar-
rested for high treason as be wus
peacefully eating his dinner at a vil-
lage inn.
The landlord of the inp where he
was in the habit of dining discovered
on a table a piece of paper on which
were written some unintelligible
phrases and below in a plain, bold
band, “Here | will kill the king.”
The landlord consuited with the chief
of police. Clearly this clew to a con®
spiracy ought to be followed up. The
person who had left the paper had al-
ready been remarked for his absent
air and gleaming eye. That man was
Pechantre,
The chief of police instructed the
landlord to =end for him the nest time
the conspirator came to dinner.
When Pechantre was shown the evi-
dence of his guilt he forgot the awful
charge agaiust him and exclaimed:
“Well, 1 nm glad to see that paper.
1 have looked everywhere for it. It
is part of n tragedy 1 am writing. it
is the climax of my best scene, where
Nero is to be killed. It comes in here,
Let me read it to you." And be took
a thick manuscript from his pocket.
“Monsieur, you may finish your din-
ner and your tragedy in peace’ said
the chief of police, and he beat a hasty
retreat.
Mild Result.
The courtroom was crowded. A wife
was seeking divorce on the grounds of
extreme cruelty and abusive treat-
ment. Guns, nxes, rolling pins and
stinging invectives seemed to have
played a promiuent part in the plain-
tiff’s married life.
The husbawd was on the stand un-
dergoing u zrueling cross examination. |
The esamining attorney said: “You
bave testified that your wife on one
occasion threw cayenne pepper in your
face. Now, sir. kindly tell us what you
did on that oceasion.”
The witness hesitated and looked
confused. Every oue espected that he
was ubout to confess to some shocking |
act of cruelty. But their hopes were |
shattered when he finally blurted out:
“1 sneezed!" Everybody's.
How He Remembered.
A Ciffdent young Roseville man wen!
to a party If you are ditlident your-
self and know bow bard it is to re
member mes when you meet a
crowd of strange and lovely ladies
you will be able to understand why it
was that the young man's dance card
read ax follows:
L ‘Twostep—iielen.
2 Wanz—Harry's friend.
3. Twostep- Tall girl
4. Waltz-— Violets,
6. Twostep—-Swell eyes.
6 Waltz—i"uffy nair.
9. Twostep— Little blue.
8 Wallz—tHeauty spot.
8. Twostep— Pink ribbons.
10. Waltz—Helen.
— Newark News.
The Diagnosis.
The disastrous results of interfer-
ence by relatives in the course of
courtships was well exemplified in the
case of a young Baltimore couple not
long ago. They had been engaged for
some time when it became generally
known that the affair was at an end.
“What was the trouble, Jack?’ an
intimate friend asked the youth, who,
by the way, is a recent medical grad-
uate.
“Well, as it was nothing relating to
Nan personally, 1 don't know why 1
shouldn't tell you.” he replied, with a
“1 suppuse it was some outside in-
fluence—you seemed to fairly dote on
ner,” the friend commented.
“I did,” the dejected lover replied.
“She is the sweetest little girl in the
world, but terribly fond of her rela-
tives. Her old maid aunt from Kan-
sas came along the other day and an-
nounced that she was going to live
with us after we were married, and—
well she proved an antidote.” —Detroit
Free Press.
A —————— i
The Castle of Despond.
One of the finest French renaissance
buildings in France is the Castle of
Despond, famous in the legendary lore
of the Toulousain country in which it
stands. Over the window of ome of
the inner courtyards is sculptured in
the stone a head above the motto.
“Plus d’Espoir.” These were the last
words of Rose de Martial, whose story
has been sung by the poets of Tou
louse. She was the daughter of the
house of Martial, to whom the castle
belonged, and she was courted by the
lord of Castelnat, whose manor she
could see from her window. But. al
though she was beautiful and tender
fell into a melancholy. She sat every
day by the window, whence she could
see the fickle lord of Castelnat’s
manor. One morning he passed by iu
the valley below, She sang to him.
but he never looked up. “Plus d'Es
poir!” she cried and threw herself out
of the window on to the flags below.
where she was killed. The manor of
Martial was known thenceforward ax
the Castle of Despoud. The fine build:
ing was falling to ruins when M. Fe.
naille bought it. and he had it comw-
pletely and skiilfully restored before
making a gift of it to the nation.
His First Taste of Discipline.
Admiral Jouett, probably one of the
jolliest seadogs our navy ever knew.
once told an amusing story of his
early days as a cadet
“1 was a sociable youngster,” le
gays, “and when 1 went to my first as
signment, the Independence, and saw
the stars and stripes tloating over it |
remembered my mother had taught
me that my first duty was to the flag.
so 1 attempted some conversation on
this line with the executive officer who
had received me when I came on board
and who was one of the strictest disci:
plinarians in the navy of that day.
“Silence, sir!’ he roared at my first
question, his face red with anger. |i.
lence, sir! Who gave you permission
to speak? Let me hear only six words
from you, sir, while you are on this
ship—*port,” “starboard,” “yes, sir.”
and “no, sir.”’
“And this was my first discipline iu
the navy.”
A Ludicrous Word Twister.
Professor William Archibald Spooner
of Oxford university became famous
as a ludicrous word twister. Once at
a special service, seeing some women
standing at the back of the church
waiting to be seated, he rushed down
the aisle and addressed the ushers as
follows: “Gentlemen, gentlemen, sew
| these ladies into their sieets.” Belug
| asked at dinner what fruit he would
| have, he promptly replied, “Pigs.
fleas.” This is the way in which Dr
| Spooner proposed to his wife: Being
| one afternoon at the home of ber fa
| ther, Bishop Harvey Goodwin of Car
lisle, Mrs. Goodwin said, “Mr. Spoou-
er, will you please go out into the
! garden and ask Miss Goodwin If sh
| will come in and make tea?’ The pro
| fessor on finding the young lady said,
| “Miss Goodwin, your mother told we
| to ask you if you would come in and
| take me.”
i
; Method.
Method is the very hinge of busi
ness, and there is no method without
| punctuality. Punctuality is important
because it subserves the peace and
good temper of a family. Calmness of
mind, which it produces, is another
| advantage of punctuality. A disor
| derly man is always in a hurry. He
| has no time to speak to you because
he is going eisewhere, and when he
gets there he is too late for his busi-
| ness or he must hurry away before he
! ean finish it.
Siamese Tobacco.
. The best tobacco in Siam Is grown
"at Petchabun. It is planted in open
fields near the town after the floods in
September or October, and the first
crop, or tips, which is considered the
| best quality, is gathered about Febru-
ary and the last about the beginning
of May. The very best quality cannot
be purchased, as it is reserved for the
| special use of the king and sent down
to Bangkok, where it is smoked in the
' palace and distributed to the chief of
| ficers of state.
Never Learned How to Live.
There are people who go through
life looking for slights, and they are
necessarily miserable, for they find
grievances everywhere. One has the
same pity for such men as for the
very poor. They are the morally illii-
erate. They have had uno real educa
| tion, for they have never learned how
‘to live.
Still In the Family.
| Jack—My grandfather had a very
| fine collection of silver, which be be
| queathed to my father on the condi
| tion that it should always remain in
| the family. Ethel-Then you have i
| till? Jack—Well—er—my uncle has ir
{
His Suspicions Aroused.
Reggie—I hear you've broken it all
| off with Edna. Archie—I should say
| so. That pet parrot of hers is all the
| time saying, “Kiss me again, Jack.”
That isn't my name, you know.—Lip
pincott’s.
Parts of Speech.
Teacher—Thomas, what are the paris
of speech?
Tommy Tucker {after an exhaustive
mental effort)—It's the way a man
talks when he stutters.
The Better Scheme.
“The man who knows just what he
wants is bound to be successful.”
“Not half so much as the man who
knows how to get what he wants." —
Cleveland Leader.
hearted, the lord jilted her. and she |
The Chinese Way.
In its wars with England and France
in 1850-60 China was easily conquered
and forced to a humiliating peace. The
Pekin Gazette, the ofiicial organ of
the government, however, reported the
following concerning that treaty of
“As the western barbarians have ad-
mitted their wrougs and humbly so-
licited for peace, the emperor in his
infinite goodness has granted their
prayer and, moreover. has made them
a present of a large sum of money (in-
demnity of war) to enable them to be-
gin an honest life, so that they may
not again be driven to murder and
rapine.”
A Joker Among Birds.
The bluejay is a practical joker. It
is his habit to conceal himself in a
mass of leaves near the spot where
small birds are accustomed to gather
and when they are enjoying them-
selves in their own fashion to sud-
denly frighten them almost to death
by screaming out like a hawk, Of
course they scatter in every direction,
and when they do so the mischievous
rascal gives vent to a cackle that
sounds very much like a laugh.
The Real Test.
“My husband is the Kindest man—
Jets baby break his watch or pull his
mustache and never scolds it at all.”
“But did the baby ever get hold of
one of his pipes? That's the real test.”
—Buffalo Express.
The Work of Time.
“And to think." sighed the man who
was trying to find a belt which was
long enough to be buckled around
him, “that the boys at school used to
call me Skinny!"—Chicago Record-
Herald.
He Gave It.
The Girl (rather weary. at 11:30
p. m)—I don’t know a thing about
baseball. The Beau—Let me explain
it to you. The Girl—Very well; give
me an illustration of a home run.—
Life.
Simplicity is, of all things, the bard-
est to be copied. —Steele.
| es
revitalizes the blood, gives vigor and vim.
ROOTS, i AND Hexps Hood's Sarsa-
parilla so combines cu e princi-
Dr 2occa. barks and herbs as to raise them
to their highest efficiency for the cure of all
spring humors, all blood diseases, and run-
down conditions.
Hood’ . Sarsaparilia :
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
For
Spring Loss of Appetite and that Tired Feeling.
Cures thousands of cases every year, tones the Stomach, aids the digestion, cleanses and
in his outspoken,
stick” (may I not say?) Christian
sat.
Second Methodisi.—I can venture to
express but very little on this side of the
alld at the sme time staying a frightful
depres evil.
could easily itemize further, but ver-
bum sat sapientibus.
A
long apy to see the names “Protest-
ant” and "Roman" disa r forever from
our ecclesiastical vocabulary, no longer
religiously used except in reference to
the past, now, in the near future when
all | be Catholics earnestly striving
day by day to be holy Catholjes.
. R. CRITTENDEN.
Bellefonte, Pa., April 15, 1910.
——An advertisement in the WATCH-
MAN always pays.
He Wouldn't Waste the Oil
Diogenes stared anxiously at his lan-
tern. The wick feebly sputtered and
when he shook the vessel it gave forth
no gurgling sound. The oi reservoir
was empty—and the lantern was out.
“What is this?" he anxiously
asked a grimy native.
“This is Pittsburg.” |
The searcher for honest men looked re- |
lieved.
“There's no use lighting up here,” he
said. “I'll wait until I get outside.”
——Subscribe for the WATCHMAN.
" ? ? {
No REAL Sut #1iTeTE—"There is no real sub-
stitute for Hod d's Sarsaparilla. Any prepa-
ration said to Le “just as good.” you may be
sure is inferior, costs less to make, and acids
the dealer a r profit.
Insist on g Hood's. 55-17
Sechler & Company
18 cent grade.
20 cent goods.
COFFEE
When goods advance on the market the retail price
usually follows. But in regard to the recent advance in
Coffees we have not followed the ordi course, either
by marking up the price or reducing quality. We
have found a new more favorable market in which to
the goods and maintain the high standard of our
buy
leaders at 18c, 20c and 25 cents per pound.
If you are using a Coffee at 20 cents per pound fry our
If you are paying 25 cents for your Coffee fry our
Or if you are buying at 30 cents try the high grade
goods we sell at 25 cents per pound.
This is a severe test but we are very confident we can
make good. Give us a trial, and please mention in which
paper you saw this advertisement.
Bush House Block, -
Sechler & Company,
55-1 Bellefonte Pa.,
The Pennsylvania State College.
|
A —
IF YOU WISH TO BECOME
A Chemist
An Engineer
An Electrician
Greek and
TE rs Deas Tie
and holding positions.
The Pennsylvania State College
Offers Exceptional Advantages
1
|
i
i
q
: A Scientific Farmer
{ Or secure a Training that will fit you well for any honorable position in life.
TUITION IS FREE IN ALL COURSES.
Te soa te arn a uc. mort ER fee
oe HS I EL EE
Electrical, Mechanical and Mi
ed States. Graduates have no
YOUNG WOMEN are admitted to all courses on the same terms as Young Men.
Fi examination for i
Courses study, es or nd for cualogur Siving 4 snlocmation
a a ——
A Teacher
A Lawyer
A Physician
A Journalist
nc Pan Bok eo.
Engineering are
in securing
THE REGISTRAR,
State College, Centre County, Pa.
PGP CET OPS eYTTYTITETYTY Ty ve new
Faubles' Clothing Store.
YOU SURE
Your money is buy-
ng
THE BEST
IN CLOTHING
for yourself or your
- Boy?
Are you Sure
of this, if not, make
The Fauble Store
Your Clothes Store,
you will be certain
of always getting
one hundred cents
worth of
The Best Clothing
made in America
for your dollar.
Can You Ask More
You know you often
get less. Try us.
M. Fauble # Son.