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1 tit ia |
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Bellefonte, Pa., June 19. 1908.
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Very Patient.
A doctor, now eminent, was at ome
time serving as interne In one of the
Philadelphia hospitals as well as hold-
ing his own with a coterie of rather
gay friends. On a certain morning the
physician awoke to find that he bad
sadly overslept. Sleepily donning his
attire, he hastened to the hospital and
soon a stalwart young Irishman claim-
ed his attention.
“Well, my man, what seems to be
your trouble this morning?” inquired
the doctor, concealing a yawn and tak.
ing the patient by the hand to examine
his pulse.
“Faith, sor, it's all in me breathin’,
doctor. I ean’t git me breath at all, at
all.”
“The pulse is normal, Pat, but let
me examine the lung action a mo-
ment,” repiled the doctor, kneeling be-
side the cot and laying his head on the
Irishman’'s chest. “Now let me hear
you talk,” he continued, closing his
eyes and listening attentively for
sounds of pulmonary congestion.
A moment of silence.
“What will I be sayin’, doctor?”
finally asked the patient.
“Oh, say anything. Count. Count
one, two, three and up, that way,”
murmured the physician drowsily.
“Wan, two, three, fure, five, six.”
When the young doctor, with a start,
opened his eyes, Pat was continuing
weakly, “Tin hundred an’ sixty-nine,
tin hundred an’ sivinty, tin hundred
an’ sivinty-wan.”—Success.
Taken Unawares.
It is likely that the most embarrass-
ed man in New York could be found
last Monday in a Sixth avenue store.
He was a mild, inoffensive looking
man. He stood leaning over the bal-
cony that surrounds the first floor of
the store, looking with Interest at the
crowd below. Presently his eye alight-
ed on a small boy who was being rush-
ed from counter to counter in tow of
a very large woman, Just as he look-
ed down at the boy the boy looked up
at him. Instinctively perceiving, with
diabolic instinct, what would be his
own youthful propensity If he occu-
pled a similar point of vantage, the boy
struck a beseeching attitude and called
out in imploring accents:
“Oh, mister; please, mister, don't spit
on me!”
For a man with no Intention of spit-
ting on that particular boy or any one
else the situation was certunly awk
wark, and the man retired in red faced
confusion.—New York Times.
Queer, but True.
“For this here splurge,” said the ca-
terer, “do the guests know one another
well or are they jest passin’ acquaint.
ances?”
“Oh, they are intimate friends, life-
long friends.”
“Then,” said the caterer, “I'll add 20
per cent to that estimate If you don't
mind.”
“But I do mind. Why"—
“Twenty per cent more for lifelong
friends,” the caterer insisted. “I'd be
out of pocket otherwise. A bunch of
friends at a splurge always eat a fifth
more than a bunch of passin’ acquaint-
ances or strangers. Didn't you never
notice that?” he concluded as he recti-
fled the bill. “You might have noticed
it from your own experience. Among
strangers you're ill at ease, nervous;
that takes your appetite away. But
with friends you're quite at home, and
you eat like a horse.”"—New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
Moving Pictures.
Moving picture cameras are remark-
able pieces of mechanism. The films
are only three-quarters of an inch
wide. These are in rolls, sometimes 800
feet long. When taking pictures the
camera man reels off these rolls just
as rapidly as they are unreeled when
thrown upon the canvas for the spec-
tator, at a rate of ten or twelve #lms
a second. Moving pictures are simply
i
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£58:
£5:
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£75
fjgegees
ath
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old Spanish emeralds. Today the ex-
pression still applies to the best emer-
alds of any source.~New York Sun.
No Odors In His Cab.
An old lady about to hire a cab
EF
London asked the cabman if he could
take her to Trafalgar square. The cab-
man replied, “No, mum, 1 can't, and I
wouldn't if I could, and the next time
*1 most German households there is
no such thiug as the strict division of
inbor insisted on here. Your cook will
Le delighted to make a blouse for you.
nd your nurse will turn out in the!
dining room, while your chambermaid
will take the child for an airing if you
order it so. They are more human in
their relation to their employers. The
English servant fixes a gulf between
herself and the most demotratic mis-
When a girl has bad
gages with a bad herrschaft she is
orse off than in England because she
more in the power of her employers
of the police than she would be
character. It is under the control of
the police and has to be shown to them
when she leaves and when she enters
say that when a girl does anything
seriously bad and ber employers record
it in the book the book gets “lost.”
Then the police interfere and make it
extremely disagreeable for the girl.
Restaurant Stories.
“I don't care for the vulgar type of
restaurant story,” sald a New York ho-
tel keeper.
the guest shouts angrily to the walter:
“Ugh, this steak is not fresh! What
a horrible smell! Here, waiter, judge
for yourself!
“But, shaking his head, the walter
points to the next table and answers
grimly:
“‘Beg pardon, sir, you're quite
wrong. It's the other gentleman's
fish.’
“Or the story of the man who com-
plained about his planked shad, wind-
ing up:
“I hope you don’t think me unrea-
sonable, walter?
“No, no, sir, the waiter answered.
‘You're the sixth person what has com-
plained about that portion of shad.’
“On a somewhat higher plane are the
meat stories. Thus a strange guest
says:
“Surely this isn't a barber shop as
well as a restaurant? I see a lot of
razors lying about.’
“Oh, no, sir!’ says the waiter.
“Those are for the steak customers.
Did you say steak, sir?”
Youthful Legic.
Mrs. L., a young and inexperienced
Sunday school teacher, was at times
sorely perplexed how to answer the
questions put to her by some of her
unusually bright pupils, One day just
after she had finished telling the chill-
dren the story that Adam was the first
man God created quiet reigned in the
class room for several minutes, Sud-
denly up jumped little Rosie and mn a
piping voice said, “Oh, teacher, you for-
got to tell us whether God created
Adam right away a man or a baby!
Embarrassed Mrs, L. looked up to the
ceiling and then to the children for an
inspiration. Happily she quickly spied
Betty's little hand ralsed above the
others eager to answer the question.
“Teacher, I am surprised my sister
Rosle should ask such a foolish ques-
tion. Why, God must have created
Adam right away a big man, because
if God had created him a baby he
would have had to have a mother to
take care of him.”
Curious Book Titles.
Curious book titles are always being
rediscovered, mostly from that prolific
period the commonwealth, when sanc-
timony was supreme.
Thus: “John Dances Better Than
Peter; Peter Dances Better Than John;
Both Dance Well” (a vicious attack on
the Jesuits, in five volumes). “A Sigh
For the Sinners of Zion, Coming From
a Hole In the Wall, by an Earthen Ves-
sel, Known Among Men as Samuel
Fisher” (was this how taverns came to
take the sign of the “hole In the
wall ?*)—London Scraps.
Unrequited Genius.
The world has never learned the
name of the genius who conceived the
idea of spreading butter upon his
bread, a combination of food elements
more palatable, more wholesome and
more universally popular than any
that the combined wisdom of all the
professors who have ever lived bas
been able to devise.—Epicure.
An Expert Carver.
Mme. X. wishes to secure a new but-
ler. “You know how to serve the ta-
ble and especially can you carve well?”
she asked an applicant.
“Madam may rest assured of It.” he
replied. “When one has been ten years
a surgeon's servant in a dissecting
room one ought to understand his busi-
ness.”
The Natural Kind.
“What sort of steed do you suppose
was most popular during the days of
chivalry ¥*
“1 suppose it was a knight-mare.”—
Baltimore American.
Wisdom.
Nelghbor- Do you think your sister is
in love with Mr. Simpkins? Little
Dora—Of course not. She allows us
children to remain in the parlor when
he calls.—Exchange.
Had Lifted One.
“pa, these burglars that blew up a
store” —
“Go on.”
“Are they shoplifters?’—Kansas City
Times.
Yes and No.
“Are you able to keep a cook?”
“Financially, yes; diplomatically,
you want to eat onions bile ‘em!
The Servant Girl In Germany, |:
no.”—Washington Herald.
Behind the Screen.
At a particularly dainty little restan-
runt a lady with a sense of humor
chooses the seut nearest the serving
room, from which vantage point she
notes and records, somewhat after the
manner of Miss Beatrice Herford, the
squabbles and comments of the dainty
waltresses. Here are sowe of her cu-
rious transcripts from reality:
“1 told you six soups, not desserts—
the beginning of the meal, not the fin-
ish! Can't you hear straight?”
“Here, Birdie, take back this coffee!
It's so cold it gave the woman ma-
lara!
“Great Scott! This lettuce isn't fit
for a horse! I'd sooner eat grass!™
“Oh, gee! Hurry up! It's for an old
waid, and her temper’s worse’'n mine!”
“Say, you're the limit! I asked for
fat meat, and you've given me a joint
—npothin' but bone! Wake up!”
Behind a screen, my correspondent
tells me, they often imitate certain of
the guests—mimicking their walk,
even their table manners. And as for
the remarks she overhears, she mar
vels less at their content than at the
way they are uttered. “Such voices!”
And so she expresses astonishment
that at table, while waiting on the peo-
ple, “these young women are ever
quiet and demure and patient—soft
tones and a cheery but dignified man-
ner.” —Boston Transcript.
“1 pefer to that type where |. -
Whistler's Odd Ways.
Lord Redesdale once gave a descrip.
tion of Whistler's ..ethods to a meet-
ing in London In -upport of a memo-
rial to the great artist. He was paint-
ing, he said, a portrait of a lady.
Whistler took up his position at one
end of the room with his sitter and the
canvas at the other end. For a long
time he stood looking at his model,
holding in his hand a huge brush full
of color, such a brush as a man would
use to whitewash a house. Then he
rushed forward and smashed the brush
full of color into the canvas. Then he
ran back, and forty or fifty times he
repeated this. At the end of that
time there stood out on the canvas a
space which exactly indicated the fig-
ure, the form and the expression of
the sitter. There was an pathetic story
attaching to the picture. The bailiffs
were in the house when the picture
was finished. That was quite a com-
mon occurrence, and Whistler only
laughed, but he went round his studio
with a knife and deliberately destroyed
all his canvases, including this picture,
which was to have been his (Lord
Redesdale's).—Dundee Advertiser.
The Gentle Rebuff.
“Immeasurable are the rebuffs that
the helpers of the poor, the seekers
after charity for their suffering broth-
ers undergo,” said a New York charity
organization official. “A friend of
mine, a Methodist minister In a small
western town, told me the other day
of his last rebuff, a not unkind one.
Entering the office of the local weekly,
the minister said to the editor:
“+1 am soliciting ald for a gentleman
of refinement and intelligence who is
in dire need of a little ready money,
but who is far too proud a man to
make his sufferings known.’
“ ‘Why. exclaimed the editor, push-
ing up his eyeshade, ‘I'm the only chap
in the village who answers that de-
scription. What's this gentleman's
name?”
“1 regret,’ said the minister, ‘that 1
am not at liberty to disclose it.’
“ ‘Why, it must be me,’ sald the ed-
itor. ‘It is me. It's me, sure. Heaven
prosper you, parson, in your good
work." ”
A Great Gifv.
Dr. Pierce’s Common Sense Medical Ad-
viser, 1008 pages, is sent free on receipt of
stamps to defray cost of mailing only. This
great work contains condensed wisdom of
centuries added to the latest scientific dis-
coveriea concerning the origin and devel
ment of the human race. It tells the or
truth in plain Eoglish. Its medical infor-
mation may he the means of saving bun-
dreds of dollars.
Send twenty-one cents in one cent stamps
for the hook in paper covers, or thirty-one
oents for oloth binding. Address Dr. R.
V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Medical.
Ee ———————
OF UNTOLD VALUE
THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS
CITIZEN'S STATEMENT IS PRICELESS,
the
!
il
3
2%
For sale by all dealers, Price 50 cents,
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York,
sole agents for the United States.
Remember the name—Doan's—and take
no other. 53.12
Cozl and Wood.
Eowarp KE. RHOADS
Shipping sad Commission Merchaat,
DEALER [Nf ——
’
ANTHRACITE axp BITUMINOUS
{coars]
snd other grains,
~BALED HAY and STRAW—
wee KINDLING WOOD—e
Respectfully solicits of his
the
friends and the pubiic, at
———— HIS COAL YARD...
near tne Passenger Siation.
16-18
Saddlery.
«==CORN EARS, SHELLED OORN, OATS «==
BUILDERS and PLASTERERS ‘SAND
by the bunch or cord as may sult purchasers.
Telephone Calls { Grim cat ees,
——) STORE NEWS (——
PRUNES.
The prune crop is abundant this season and the quality
is fine. We have them at 5, 8, 10, 12, 15 and 20 cents
per pound.
MACKEREL.
We have a fine late caught Mackerel that will weigh
about one pound at 15 cents a piece. Our trimmed
and boned mackerel are strictly fancy fish—medium size
at 25c. per pound, and extra large size at joc. per Ib.
These are the clean, meat with practically no bone.
TEAS.
Fine Blended goods of our own combination. We use
only clean sound stock of fine cup qualities. These
goods are giving splendid satisfaction and are good
steady winners.
SUGAR SYRUP.
We have made quite a find in a genuine old fashioned
Pure Graining Syrup of fair color and a fine,
smooth flavor—not sharp, ese goods cannot be had
in a regular way and can be found only occasionally. It
is a good value at 6o cents per gallon. Other good
grades at soc. and 40 cents per gallon.
La oa a a of
MARASCHINO CHERRIES.
These goods now come within the pp requirements of the
pure food laws. We have them in all the sizes.
SECHLER & COMPANY,
Bush House Block, - - Bellefonte, Pa.
evvYTeY
82-1
a a ae aa a de de le le i de le le Ne Me Me Me A Se
MONEY SAVED
Reduced in price—horse sheets,
lap spreads and fly neta—for the
next thirty days. We have de-
termined to clean up all summer
goods, if you are in the market for
thie class of s you can’t do
better thao call supply your
wants at thie store.
We have the largess assortment of
SINGLE Axp DOUBLE DRIVING
HARNESS
in the county ana at
the buyer. If you
one of our
HAND-MADE SINGLE HARNESS
you have missed a good thing. We
are making a special effort to sup-
ply you with a harness shat you
may have no concern about any
parts breaking. These harness
are made from select oak stock,
with a high-grade workmanship,
and
A GUARANTEE FOR TEN YEARS
with each set of harness. We have
on hand a fine lot of single bafness
ranging in price from $13.50 to
to suit
o not have
$25.00.
We carry a large line of oils, axle
grease, whips, brushes, ourry-
combs, sponges, and everything
you need about a horse. :
We will take pleasure in showing
you our goods whether you buy
or not. Give us a call and see for
yourself.
Yours Respectfully,
JAMES SCHOFIELD,
Spring street,
BELLEFONTE.
Flour and Feed.
IS MONEY MADE
Ee!
Plumbing etc.
Insurance.
HE PREFERRED ACCIDENT
A E. SCHAD,
INSURANCE CO.
Fin: Sanitary Plumbing, —
Gas Fitting, THE $5,000 TRAVEL POLICY
Furnace, Steam and Hot Water
Heating, ; Benefits :
Slating, Roofing and Spouting, $5.000 death by accident,
Tinware of all kinds made to 5.000 J of i one foot.
2,500 loss of either hand,
2,500 loss of either foot,
630 loss of one eye,
5 pee week, total disability
0! mi weeks) disability”
r week, pa
Blirit 26 weeks.
PREMIUM $12 PER YEAR,
payable quarterly if desired.
Larger or smaller amounts in pro
portion. Any person, male or female
engaged in a prefe occupation, in.
cluding house-keeping, over eigh-
a teen years of age of good moral and
physical condition may insure under
- AB A OAM MB AM BB A Bo... th policy.
i FIRE INSURANCE
I invite your attention to my fire
Insurance y, the eatrongest
and Most Extensive Line of Solid
Companies represented by any
agenoy in Central Pennsylvania.
H. E. FENLON,
Agent, Bellefonte, Pa.
order.
Estimates cheerfully furnished.
Both Phones.
12-43-1y
Eagle Block.
BELLEFONTE, PA
A
Green's Pharmacy.
h
:
§
e
HO, FISHERMEN!
The fishing season promises
to be fine. Are you ready?
If not, leave us help you.
We have everything you
50-21
Rods from 5 cents upwards.
(PRS Y. WAGNER,
Baockeauory Mis, Briizrosrs Pa,
Manufacturer,
and wholesaler
and retailers of
ROLLER FLOUR,
FEED, CORN MEAL, Ete.
Also Dealer in Grain.
Manufactures and has on hand at all
fue the following brands of high grade
r
WHITE STAR,
OUR BEST.
HIGH GRADE,
VICTORY PATENT,
FANCY PATENT-—formerly Phes-
nix Mills high grade braud.
The only place in the county where
SPRAY,
an extraordinary fine grade of
Spriog Whoa Patent Flour can be
ALSO:
INTERNATIONAL STOCK FOOD.
FEED OF ALL KINDS,
Whole or Manufactured,
All kinds of Grain bought at office,
Exchanges Flour for Wheat.
OFFICE and STORE, - Bishop Street,
Bellefonte,
MILL ee
4719
ROOPSBURG.
OFT DRINKS
The subscriber having put in a com-
te t is prepared to furnish Soft
a Tn ae
SELTZER SYPHONS,
SARSAPARILLA,
SODAS,
POPS, ETC.,
tor os, families and the
anol which are man
of the purest syrups and
bile is cordially invited to test
be made
The pu
these drinks. Deliveries will
free of charge within the limits of the
C. MOERSCHBA
bile gen:
out
E
Sl-14-1y Att'y at Law,
NAST IBS BSA?
5082-1y High Street, BELLEFO PA. Water Street, opposite Bush House,
General Agent for Central Pennsylvanis
Money to Lean. for she J. B. Cols Co.
TM OFEY 10 10AR wn good secarity « Bellefunte, Pa.
J. M.KEICHLIN
Lines from 1 cent upwards. JOHN F. GRAY & SON,
Leaders from scts upwards. (Successors to Grant Hoover.)
Reels from 15cts upwards. FIRE,
Flies, Fly Books, Baits, Bait
Boxes, etc. LIFE,
AND
Call and leave us show you ACCIDENT
what we have. You will INSURANCE.
find both goods and prices
right.
This Agency represents the largest
Fire Tnsaraace Companies in the
orld.
——NO ASSESSMENTS, ——
Do not fall to give us a call hefore insuring
your Life or y as we are in position
write large lines at any time,
Office in Crider's Stone Building,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
GREEN'S PHARMACY CO,
The Rexall Store,
Bush House Block,
BELLEFONTE, PA.
43-18-1y
44-26-1y
{At Mp A OB ON, Be ON OB cat Tc BO Me 0, Bec 0, Tr Me al era A Beal re lO, ee lB
0 7
TEN NT WW WT WW WW WT TW eT WT eT Tee ee WNW TY
—_ TY TY TTT
D W. WOODRING.
.
GENERAL FIRE INSURANCE.
ACETYLENE
Represents only the strongest and mos) ¢
prompt paying companies. Gives reliable.
insurance at the very lowest rates and pays
promptly when losses occur. Office at 118
East Howard street, Bellefonte, Pa. 53-30
The Best and Cheapest Light.
EE ———————————————————————
COLT ACETYLENE Fine Job Priuting.
—eD
GENERATORS.......... JIE 308 PRINTING
GIVE
THE LEAST TROUBLE,
THE PUREST GAS,
AND ARE
SAFE
Owe A SPECIALTY 0
AT THE
WATCHMAN OFFICOE
There is no style of work, from the cheapest
Dodger” to the finest
${—BOOK-WORE,—$
that we can not do in the most satisfactory man.
ner, and at
Prices consistent with the class of work. Call om
or communicate with this office.
Generators, Supplies
and Fixtures. . . .
JOHN P. LYON,
oo