SA SR
Bellefonte, Pa., February 21, 1908.
Gave It Up,
A friend of the writer recently made
application for a public appointment in
2 small Scottish town, and, thinking
that his chances of- success would be
greater by a little judicious canvass-
ing, he resolved to call upon a few of
the town councilors, in whose hands
the appointment lay. Of the civic dig-
nitaries’ position in private life he
knew wvothing. Journeying to the town
in question, he hired a cab at the rail-
way station and requested the jehu
to take him to Councilor Disset’s, the
treasurer. The councilor was found
in his blacksmith’'s shop shoeing a
horse.
“I'll see somebody of more impor-
tance than this, anyhow,” said the can-
didate to himself, and, turning to the
driver, he said, “Drive me to Councilor
Maitland’s office.”
The cabman thereupon drove him to
the local joiner’s shop. This was
worse even than the smithy, and in
despair he ejaculated:
“Drive me to Councilor Gray's.”
“I am Councilor Gray, sir,” replied
the cabman.
The answer staggered the candidate.
He quietly paid his fare and disap-
peared, resolved to leave his fate In
their hands without prejudicing them
fn any way in his favor. — London
Standard.
When Life Was Little Valued.
The 223 capital offenses which the
old English law recognized as punish-
able by death did not keep down crime,
and with the abolition of the death
penalty for all crimes but murder
erime in England, as well as every-
where else all over the world where
the death penalty has been modified,
lessened markedly, notes the Boston
Traveler,
Edmond Burke said that he could in
his time obtain the assent of the
house of commons to any bill that car-
ried the death punishment.
A man's life was not very valuable
in those strenuous days. If he scratch-
ed his name on Westminster bridge,
if he wore a wig or false mustache or
any other disguise on a public road, if
he cut down a young tree, If he stole
property worth more than $1.25, if he
had been transported for crime and re-
turned a day ahead of the expiration
of his term of punishment, if he wrote
a threatening letter, if he stole a hide
from a tanner’s, for any and all of
these things and for 200 more than
these hie was hanged by the neck until
he was dead.
Loading Freight by Cards.
“I don't know whether the practice
fs still kept up in the far south, but I
remember how tickled I was at seeing
the method used in loading goods Into
freichit cars down in Mississippi some
while ago,” said a railroad man of St.
Louis
“A lat of strapping black fellows will
be on the job under the supervision of
a white man, who will be issuing or-
ders with great volubility. ‘Put this
aboard the king of diamonds; take this
to the ace of hearts; load this on the
ten of spades; this to the jack of clubs,’
and so on, and then you'll notice each
one of the long line of freight cars has
tacked on it some one of the fifty-two
ecards composing a full deck. The Sen-
egnmizian loafers for the most part
were ignorant of letters and figures.
but svery man of them knew the paste-
board osmblems which he had often
handted in games of seven up. That
next ro craps is the chief diversion of
the colored sports of Dixie.”—Balti-
more American.
Cruel Spring.
The talk in the village hostelry had
beea on the subject of vegetable
freak<, but at length it veered round
10 Zoot,
“Did ever you keep a goat, Bil?"
inquired a gray whiskered gentieman
in u coruer seat.
“Did 1 ever! answered the little
man addressed with rustic familiarity.
“l bought one last Christmas what
nearly brought me to the work'us.
ing, from tins o' blackin’ to
that goat would. Lucky
we the spring killed it.”
t know the seasons affected
goats,” dbserved the gray whiskered
gentleman,
“Who's talkin’ about seasons?’ came
the reply. “It was the spring of our
alarm clock what 'e made a meal of
one day as done it!"—London Express.
Generally the Case.
“1 wish you would mention this to
Jinks. [It is highly important.”
“I'll mention it to him today.”
“But how do you know you will see
him today?”
“I'm bound to bump into him. I owe
fim money.”—8t. Paul Pioneer Press.
No Mercy.
Mistress—Sarah Jane, what has hap-
pened? Sarah Jane—Oh, mum, I've
falien down the stairs and broken my
neck! Mistress (firmly)—Well, what-
ever you've broken will be deducted
from your wages.—Sydney (N. 8. W.)
Bulletin,
He Could Not Will.
“Can you lend me a fiver, old fel-
low?”
“Surely I can.”
“But will you?”
“Ah, my will power has utterly de-
serted me these days!"—Town Toples,
Motoring.
“Motoring is the very poetry of mo-
tion.”
“Except when you have a smashup!”
“No; aven then—it'’s blank versel”—
London Opinion.
Animal Instinct.
A friend of mine saw two cats ap-
proaching each other on the top of a
board fence. There was no room for
them to pass each other, and he won-
dered what would happen. When they
were near each other one of them
ptopped, turned around and retreated
till it came to another board fence that
joined at right angles the one they
were on. The cat stepped off on this
fence and waited there till the other
went by. My friend thought this act
showed an appreciation of the problem
beyond the reach of instinct. No doubt
those cats had met before, and one
was master of the other. What more
natural than that the defeated cat
should retreat before the superior and
when it came to the other fence step
off upon it and let the victor pass?
The action involved no mental process
any more than when two inert bodies
in motion meet each other and one
gives way. There was no other course
open to the cat. If she or he had
turned back and taken to the side
fence solely to accommodate the other
cat, why, that were another matter.
The Gordon setter that met a train
of cars upon a railroad bridge and
stepped down upon one of the timbers
of the bridge and stood there while
the train passed gave no proof of rea-
soning powers. It was the only thing
the dog could do. Nearly all animals
know enough to get out the way of
danger. If they did not, what would
become of the race of animals?—John
Burroughs in Outing Magazine. :
Old Roman Laws.
The old Roman laws, according to
Colquhoun, conferred on the husband
complete empery over the wife, All
she owned or earned was vested in
him, and he acquired the same rights
over her person and property as if she
were his natural daughter. The wife,
on the other hand, acquired all the
rights to a child and to her husband's
name and succession in the event of
an intestate estate, and she could exer-
cise all the privileges to which her sex
admitted. The power of the ancient
Roman father over his offspring was
originally perpetual, nor could the
child be emancipated from the fa-
ther's control during the father's life
except by that parent's consent, nor
did he become sui juris until the fa-
ther (being himself sui juris) died,
when the son was emancipated by the
simple operation of the law. In those
brave days the father had legal per-
mission to scourge his children or to
send them, fettered like slaves, to
taking off he thought proper.
How the Brahman Cleans His Teeth.
When the Brahman cleans his teeth
he must use a small twig cut from one
of a number of certain trees, and be-
fore he cuts it he must make his act
known to the gods of the woods. He
must not indulge in this cleanly habit
every day. He must abstain on the
sixth, the eighth, the ninth, the four-
teenth, the fifteenth and the last day
of the moon, on the days of new and
full moon, on the Tuesday in every
week, on the day of the constellation
under which he was born, on the day
of the week and on the day of the
month which correspond with those of
his birth, at an eclipse, at the conjunc
tion of the planets, at the equinoxes
and other unlucky epochs and also on |
the anniversary of the death of his fa-
ther or mother.
his teeth with his bit of stick on any
of the above mentioned days will have
hell as his portion. — “Hindoo Man-
ners,” by Abbe Dubois.
The Way to the Station.
A party of automobilists was tour-
ing through Virginia. An accident to
the car forced them to take a train
home. As they walked down the road
seeking some one from whom they
could inquire their way they met an
old darky, says the Success Magazine.
“Will you kindly direct us to the ralil-
road station?’ one of the party asked.
“Cert'n’y, sir,” he responded. “Keep
a-goin’ right down dis road till yo' gets
to where two mo' roads branches out.
Den yo' take de lef’ one an’ keep on
a-goin’ till yo' gets to where de ole
postoffice uster be.”
Creative.
A certain man coming from abroad
was taken up by the smart set.
“We'll make a lion of him,” quoth
they. “for the distinction he will there-
upon reflect upon us.”
But the man was too little. It takes
much material to make a lion.
“Then we'll make a monkey of him,”
sald the smart set, determined to have
some exercise for their creative genius.
Nor was the world the worse off.
For, after all, it is the contribution to
the gayety of nations that is especially
needed. —uck.
Disappointment.
Amateur Sportsman (after shooting
best friend)—Too bad, toe bad, but I
thought you were a deer. The Victim
-—Don’'t fret. Amateur Sportsman—
Don’t fret! Why, man, I promised my
wife a pair of horns.—Illustrated Bits.
The Main Trouble.
Wise—Oh, give us a rest for awhile,
won't you? Doubley—Well, every fel-
low has a right to his opinion and—
Wise—Yes, but the trouble is that he
can't be made to realize that there may
be a wrong to it.—Indianapolis News,
Patience.
Traveler (after waiting patiently for
train for four hours)—She'll no be com-
nr’ the day, I doot? Porter—Hoots,
mon, hae ye no patience? Ye'll just
bide a wee while an’ she'll be byl—
Punch,
Indiscretion, malice, rashness and
falsehood produce each other.—L'En-
clos.
Any one who cleans |
| ain't much happened this summer.”
work on his estate or even to kill them, | t Pre
choosing whatsoever means for thelr |
Appreciated the Beautiful.
That it is not always well to put
on one's dowdiest garments when one
goes to visit the poor is the moral
of a story told in an English maga-
zine recently. There were two phi-
lanthropists, according to the tale, one
a professional and the other an ama-
teur. The professional had arranged
to take the amateur to a gathering of
slum dwellers in the east end of Lon-
don. At the appointed hour the ama-
teur, who happens to be a duchess and
a great beauty, appeared at the house
of her friend, a dazzling apparition In
court dress, tiara and jewels. “Oh,
my dear,” gasped the professional,
falling helplessly into the nearest
chair, “don’t you know that we are
going to one of the lowest and most
squalid slums? [ can't promise that
you will bring any of that back with
you.” But the beauty only laughed.
“That's all right,” she said. “I quite
understand you. But poor people love
beautiful things. Their children espe-
clally are captivated with fine dresses
and feathers. Just wait and you will
see!” And the professional did see.
Those poor, half starved, half naked
slum dwellers had eyes for no one but
the dazzling young beauty who had
done them the infinite honor of coming
to see them In her most beautiful
frock and jewels.
Not Much News.
In the summer of 1903 an exploring
expedition set out from Cook inlet,
Alaska, in an attempt to climb Mount
McKinley, the highest peak on the
American continent. They went in
with a pack of cayuses through a hun-
dred miles of tundra and then strug-
gled for weeks over glaciers and
through terrible hardships, to emerge
at last on the Chulitna river, down
which they rafted to civilization, as
represented by Cook inlet.
As they came in, worn, ragged, al-
most dead from exposure and hunger,
a tail old man strolled upshore with
four white men’s dogs, ‘says Robert
Dunn in “The Shameless Diary of an
Explorer.” They asked him the news
of the world.
“Waal, yer know the pope's dead,”
he drawled, “and the cardinals held a
sort of convention and elected a new
pope.
“Roosevelt he's agreed to complain
to the czar of Rooshia about them mas-
sacreed Jews, and some one's killed
that Queen Dragon of Servia trying to
jump her claim to the throne. Anu
Rooshia's going to fight the Japs. The’
Murdered by a Statue.
The death of Kenith, the half myth-
ical king of Scotland, was one of the |
most curious and remarkable in his-|
tory, if it may be called a historical
fact. It seems that Kenith had slain
Cruthlintus, a son, and Malcolm Duf-
fus, the king and brother of Fennella,
She, to be revenged, caused Wiltus, the
most ingenious artist of the time, to
fashion a statue filled with automatic
springs and levers. Finished and set
up this brazen image was an admirable
work of art. In its right hand Wiltus
placed a ewer and in the left an apple
of pure gold finely set with diamonds
and other precious stones. To touch
this apple was to court death. It was
so arranged that any one guilty of such
vandalism would be immediately rid-
dled with arrows shot from loop
holes in the statute's body. Kenith
was Invited to see the wonder and,
kinglike (and just as Fennella hoped),
tried to pluck the imitation fruit. He
was instantly riddled with poisoned ar-
rows, dying where he fell. |
Still Ahead.
A congressman says he was riding
in a smoking car on a little one track
road and in the seat in front of him
sat a jewelry drummer. He was one
of those wide awake, never-let-any-
one-get-the-better-of-him style of men.
Presently the train stopped to take on
water, and the conductor neglected to
send back a flagman. A limited ex-
press, running at a rate of ten miles
an hour, came along and bumped the
rear end of the first train. The drum-
mer was lifted from his seat and pitch-
ed head first against the seat ahead.
His silk hat was jammed clear down
over his ears. He picked himself up
and settled back in his seat. No bones
bad been broken. Then he pulled off
his hat, drew a long breath and,
straightening up, said: “Hully gee!
Well, they didn't get I'v us anyway!"
Got His Wish.
At the height of their nightly quar.
rel the other day Mrs. Blank choked
back a sob and said reproachfully:
“I was reading one of your old let
ters today, James, and you said in it
that you would rather live in endless
torment with me than in bliss by your-
self.”
“Well,
growled.
I got my wish” Blank
The Dolphin Violin.
The Dolphin violin was so named on
account of the beauty of the wood, the
back of the instrument resembling the
color of a dolphin. It was made by
Stradivarius In 1714, and it is considor-
ed the most beautiful violin in the
world. It is owned by an Englishman
and is valued at £5,000.—Musical Home
Journal,
Well Occupied In Either Case.
It is beautiful to see a young girl
start out with the avowed Intention of
devoting her life to teaching school,
and yet few people blame her seriously
when she quits to get married.—Tomb-
stone Epitaph.
A Hypocrite.
Teacher (after explaining the charac.
ter of the Pharisee)—And now what do
we mean by a “hypocrite?’ Pupil—
Please, miss, & man wot says he is wot
he isn’t, but he ain’t.—Punch.
Mild Hazing.
The proprietor of a plumbing estab-
lishment downtown has a poor opinion
of goat initiations. A young man,
dapper and twenty, came into his
plumbing shop and asked to see an ex-
pensive porcelain bathtub. The pro-
prietor expiained at length the good
qualities of a certain make.
“This seems to be an excellent one,”
said the young man.
Without warning he jumped into the
bathtub, drew his coat closely around
him and exclaimed: “Quick, turn on
the water! I want to try it.” .
The proprietor thought he was in-
sane and, soothing his head, said,
“There, there, you're all right.”
“Yes,” the young man gurgled,
splashing in the imaginary water; “it's
very comfortable.”
; Then he began to squirm and splut-
er,
“Quick, quick!” he cried. “Turn off
the water! I'm drowning!”
“Wait till I reach the faucet,” said
-the proprietor softly, side stepping to
the telephone.
Just at this moment two other young
men, a trifie older, entered.
“Well, Bobby, had your bath?’ they
inquired.
“Yes.”
“Then come down to the vegetarian
| restaurant and order a side of roast
beef.” —~New York Globe.
Good as a Corkscrew.
“Do you know how to take a tight
cork out of a bottle without a cork-
screw?’ was asked by a woman the
other day at a gossip party. “It's a
mighty good thing to know In an
emergency.
“My sister and I were coming back
from the mountains, and she got faint
on the ears. I had a bottle of aro-
matic spirits of ammonia In my bag,
but when I tried to get the cork out I
simply couldn't make it budge.
“ ‘Let me take it out for you,’ sug-
gested a man across the aisle.
“Then, borrowing my pocketknife
and using his own with it, he removed
the cork in a jiffy. He Inserted the
blades on opposite sides between the
bottle and the cork, each one turned
in a different direction. Then when
the blades were firmly pushed In he
simply pressed the two together, gave
them a wrench sideways, and the cork
came out without any trouble. I have
since tried it on larger bottles with
success, It is a trick worth knowing.”
—Exchange.
The Quest of Truth.
It is a good deal easier to poke fun
at history than to write history merit-
ing credence. Mr. Bodley when writ-
ing his “France” experienced the force
of this In a curious way. He shut
himself up in France for years to get
the atmosphere and the knowledge
necessary for his work. One of his
trials arose over some question of elect-
oral jurisprudence. It was not of in-
ternational importance, but still inter-
esting to students of comparative pro-
cedure. Therefore he wrote to a dep-
uty who is a parliamentary expert to
clear up the obscurity in wkich the
text books involve the point and incor-
porated his reply In the text of the
book. Later, being invited by an ex-
perienced mayor to be present at a
poll over which he presided, Mr. Bod-
ley put the question to him and re-
ceived a quite different reply. Finally
the: author referred the point to a
senator of indisputable authority, who
showed that the deputy and the mayor
were both wrong.—8t. James’ Gazette.
Woman's Wit.
An emperor of Germany besieged a
city which belonged to one of his rebel-
lious noblemen. After the siege had
lasted for a long time the emperor de-
termined to take it by storm and to de-
stroy all it contained by fire and sword.
He did not, however, wish to injure
the defenseless women; therefore, he
sent a proclamation into the town, say-
ing that all the women might leave
the place unhurt and carry with them
whatever they held most precious. The
nobleman's wife instantly decided to
take her husband, and the other wo-
men followed her example. They soon
issued from the city gate In a long pro-
cession, each one with her husband on
her shoulders. The emperor was so
much struck with the noble conduct of
the women that he spared all; even the
city itself was left untouched.
Wouldn't Tip It
A Toronto man who visited England
last summer appears to think that
country the champion tip taker. He
says: “Well, I had tipped every man
from the swell gent who seemed to
own the house of commons down to
the hireling who gummed the wrong
labels on my luggage, and I went into
the waiting room on the landing stage
at Liverpool to wash my hands of ev-
erything English, and what do you think
stared me in the face when I had fin.
ished? A placard saying, ‘Please tip
the basin.’ I'll be hanged if I did!”
Monuments.
Dr. Griffin—I must say the world is
very ungrateful toward our profession.
How seldom one sees a public memo-
rial erected to a doctor! Mrs. Golight-
ly—How seldom! Oh, doctor, think of
our cemeteries!—London Answers,
Doesn't Always Follow.
Because some men get over a fence
safely with a loaded gun it is not al-
ways safe to assume that they won't
examine a mule's heels to settle a bet.
—Washington Post.
The Difference.
Upgardson ~ Doesn't Weerlus bore
you nearly to death? He talks like a
phonograph. Atom-—Not at all. When
a phonogrzph runs down it stops.—
Chicago Tribune,
It improves a girl's looks immensely
to be rich.—New York Press.
i. S
Bellefonte Shoe Emporium.
Warm Shoes
for cold feet. We have them
in all kinds.
A full and complete line of
Good Warm Slippers.
Felt Sole Slippers make a
present that will be
appreciated.
We have anything in the
Shoe line that you may need.
PRICES RIGHT.
Come and see.
Yeager & Davis
BELLEFONTE, PA.
A ———
Lyon & Co.
I
Lyon &. Company.
monmasene) AO) UJ. JR (rome meee
WHITE SALE
Will be Continued Two Weeks Longer,
as ;so many people have asked us to
keep it up, we will do so. The stock
of white goods has been getting
stronger every day. To-day we
have added specials in Table
Linens and Napkins.
72 inch bleached table damask, quality $1.75, sale price $1.25
per yard—Napkins to match
72 inch bleached table damask, quality $t.50, sale price fr.c0
per yard—Napkins to match.
Special lot of Napkins, handsome design, in assorted patterns.
Bleached damask Napkins, 22 and 23 1-2 inch square, real value
$5.00 and $6.00 per dozen.
Sale price $3.50 and $4.50 per doz.
go cent bleached damask, sale price 75 cents per yard.
No space to give you full description of Towels and Toweling,
Sheets and Sheeting, Pillows by the pair or the muslin by the
yard, Waistings, etc., etc. See our qualities and we guarantee
prices lower than any one.
The cold weather has given a fresh call for winter goods.
All Ladies’, Misses’ and Children’s Coats at less that manufactur-
ers cost.
Winter Suits and Overcoats for Men and Children at manufactur-
ers cost.
In addition to these special sales we are showing the new styles
in early
Spring and Summer Dress Goods, Silks and Wash fabrics,
Waists and Wasting. Give us a chance to show you the entire
stock of special sale values,
Reduced sale values.
The New Early Spring Dress Goods
Novelties and Trimmings.
LYON & COMPANY,
17-12
Allegheny St., Bellefonte, Pa.