Deworvaic Waku,
Bellefonte, Pa., Feb. 2. 1900.
m—
TAKING THE REINS.
Lyford Merritt was certainly a most ex-
asperating man. In this, for a wonder, the
whole village concurred, with the exception
of his wife. She maintained silence on the
subject which was best, perhaps, inasmuch
1s she was the cause of it all.
“‘He’s—he’s the most downtrodden and
meek sort of man you ever set eyes on, and
it ain’t right that it should be so,”” Mrs.
Blake declared, : s Lyford Merritt, then
under discussion, shuffled along the dusty
road. ‘‘It’sdreadful to see a man so sup-
pressed,” she sighed. ‘It ain’t nature
one bit.
“Some men are born meek and would
rather a woman’d go ahead and boss the
house and him, too, and then you don’t
blame ’em, but Lyford ain’t that kind.
"Fore his wife got hold of him he used to
be as up and coming as any one.”’
A slight flush spread over her thin cheeks
as she felt a critical glance upon her.
“That was the time he came a-court-in
you, I ’spose?”’ her guest remarked bland-
ly. *‘I always heard you had some sort of
words and then he took up with the new
school teacher and married her right away
fore your face and eyes.”’
Mrs. Blake beat Ler cake vigorously.
‘‘He ain’t done nothing but be set on
ever since,’”’ she declared at length, ‘‘so
that he ain’t himself at all. And that’s
what’s so exasperating. No man with any
natural stand up to him ought to give in
the way he does. That’s what’s the troub-
le. He seems to think it’s all right.’
She poured the cake into a tin and shoved
it into the oven and shut the door with a
bang.
‘We've all had spells of talking to him,”’
she went on, ‘‘but there, it ain’t no earth-
ly good. He always sits so good natured
and kind of nods his head as if agreeing,
and when you come to stop he looks up
with his blue eyes and says: ‘Well, well,
you don’t understand. It may seem kind
of hard sometimes to outsiders, Mis’ Blake,
but then, you see, she’s got the nerves.’
‘Nerves,’ scornfully; ‘‘as if auy of us
couldn’t get up that kind of nerves if we
wanted to. But Lyford, he just stands it
always, and it’s terrible exasperating.”’
She gave another glance out of the win-
dow. Lyford Merritt was not in sight.
Unconscious of his neighbor’s scrutiny and
comment, he slowly crossed the stubble
field and made his way to the barn. There
he deposited the packages from the store
and then went to the woodpile. He seem-
ed in a sort of brown study, and his move-
ments were uncertain.
*‘It ain’t right for a man not to be mas-
ter in his own house,”’” he ruminated as if
the sentiment had just been impressed up-
on his mind. ‘It really ain’t, and I am
going to assert myself.” :
The thought caused a stick to drop from
his arms. He hastily picked it up with a
backward glance over his shoulder.
‘‘I wouldn’t doanything to burt Caroline
for anything in the world. Of course I
wouldn’t. She’s a good wife—a very good
wife to me, and I’m thankful I’ve got such
a good wife, and I hope I make her a good
husband.”
He paused and slowly laid two more
sticks on his burden and walked toward
the woodhouse.
‘‘And I’ve been thinking that perhaps it
ain’t good for her to have me always giv-
ing in to her,”’ he continued as he return-
ed for a second load. ‘‘I read somewhere
the other day that women was like horses
—they like to have their own way long’s
they can, but when you make ’em mind
they goall the better. Not that I should
ever try and make Caroline mind’’—he
paused aghast—‘‘but perhaps if I kinder
took things for granted that she wouldn’t
mind my doing more things I could do
em, and she'd like it. I’m a-going to try
anyway.’
It was undeniable that Lyford Merritt's
heart beat somewhat faster than usual as it
neared 3 o’clock on the following after-
noon. The town committee had ordained
to have an extra meeting. It was usually
held at the Perkins’, but Mrs. Perkins was
sick, and so Lyford had generously asked
them to come there.
A few had already gathered and were
sitting in the shade of the big elm. Oth-
ers could be seen coming down the road.
*‘I suppose we might as well go in, see-
ing there are so many of us already,” Ly-
ford remarked.
It was an unwritten law that the meet-
ings of the committee should always be
held in some parlor or the church vestry.
It was not compatible with the dignity of
the committee to meet in barns or shops,
as did other organizations.
The men sprang up and Lyford led the
way to the front of the house, where they
greeted the others. They stood a moment
and chatted, while a few straggled up,
then Lyford put his hand on the door.
It refused to open. He made several at-
tempts, but it would not stir. He grew
red in the face with exertion.
‘‘It’s unlocked all right,’’ he declared,
‘‘because I saw to that this morning. You
see, we don’t use it very often, and that’s
the reason why. I'll go inside and see if
I can start it.”
He left the men and skirted the house,
avoiding the kitchen windows and stealing
in the back way, where he removed his
shoes and quietly passed through the up-
per rooms and down: the front stairs, when
he put on his shoes again.
He managed to open the door. It stuck,
but he had forgotten that it opened in. In
fact, he never remembered having opened
it at all before.
The men filed into the stuffy parlor.
Some one suggested that the windows be
opened. Lyford stared for a moment.
There were no screens in the windows.
‘Oh, yes,” he replied, with a deal of
energy. ‘‘Of course. I meant to have
them opened and forgot. Mrs. Merritt has
been very busy or she would have attend-
ed to it for me.”’
His blue eyes twitched and he drew a
deep breath as he pushed up the windows
and flung back the blinds. He saw a dozen
flies dart in, and he gave a quiet chuckle.
His emancipation had begun.
The meeting opened with its usual
solemnity, but soon it grew exciting, and
there was a busy hum of voices. The men
had removed their coats, and they swung
like draperies from chair backs; the fam-
ily Bible on the marble center table made
an excellent desk for the presiding officer,
and ballots and papers were liberally dis-
tributed over the floor. Some of the men
were smoking.
Lyford was making a speech—it was a
very excellent speech—on the freedom of
the individual. His audience was inter-
ested. Suddenly there was a hush. He
turned, and Mrs. Merritt stood in the door-
way. Lyford gave a little gasp. The eyes
of the men were upon him, and he straight-
ened visibly.
“The meeting of the committee, you
know, my dear,’ he explained, with the
faintest tremor in his voice. ‘‘I trust we
have not disturbed you.”” His eyes were a
bit beseeching.
Several of the men were on their feet.
One was struggling into a coat. Mrs. Mer-
ritt did not reply. Her keen brown eyes
swept the room, and a peculiar smile set~
tled on her face.
“I was going to suggest’’—Lyford made
the great effort of his life—‘‘I was going to
suggest, seeing it was so ‘very warm, that
we prepare some sort of refreshment for the
gentlemen, Caroline.”
There was a note of inquiry in his voice.
His wife turned, and with a hurried ex-
cuse he followed. A nervous laugh from
one of the men broke the tension of the
moment.
“We shall have to give him an office,’’
some one suggested.
He was gone some time, and then his
wife returned with him. He carried a big
pitcher of iced tea, while she bore a platter
of spice cake and jumbles, which she after-
ward supplemented with loaf cake and
pickles.
It was a very social intermission that
followed. Mrs. Merritt made herself very
charming, and Lyford was in the highest
spirits. Then she retired, and the meet-
ing went on. Lyford was nominated for
school committee. He accepted, of course.
His wife had never allowed him to run be-
fore. It would make her nervous to think
of the responsibility. >
At 6 the meeting broke up. Lyford es-
corted them to the gate and watched them
as they passed from sight. Then he slow-
ly returned to the house, gave a long look
at the disordered room, closed the door and
shuffled off to the shed. There he sat for
several moments and drew hard at his old
ipe.
b The supper bell rang. At the sound he
hastily started for the door. His hand was
on the latch; then he hesitated, his hand
dropped, and he returned to the bench, sat
down and ran his fingers through his hair.
The bell rang a second time. He laid
his pipe down carefully, arose, gave his
vest a pull, settled his hat firmly on his
head and steadfastly walked into the
kitchen.
His wife was sitting by the table, pour-
ing the tea.
He hesitated a moment. She looked
very pretty as she sat there—prettier than
usual, somehow. Perhaps she had on a
better dress.
‘*Was your meeting successful ?”’ she
queried, her eyes on the amber liquid.
‘‘Very,”” he replied as he crossed the
room to where his coat hung on the wooden
peg. ‘‘They nominated me for school com-
mittee.”
She nodded her head reflectively. ‘You
will make a good one,”’ she said. ‘‘They
ought to put good men in office.”
He stared at her neck. ‘‘I’m sorry the
parlor’’—he began.
*‘You needn’t be,’’ she broke in sharp-
ly. “I guess’’— She set the teapot down,
and, arising carefully, walked around the
table and set hiscupdown at her husband’s
place. ‘I guess that a man has a right to
do as he wants to in his own house.”
She glanced at him proudly. One arm
was in his coat sleeve.
“It’s pretty warm,’’ she remarked, seat-
ing herself again, ‘‘and, Lyford, perhaps
you’d be more comfortable if you didn’t
put your coat on.”’ i
He sent a keen glance in her direction,
and his blue eyes twinkled. Mechanical-
ly he replaced the coat and took his seat at
the table opposite her.
“I think that I should,” he replied.
— Globe-Democral.
Beefsteak as a Civilizer.
I believe in the civilized power of beef-
steak and potatoes, in the inspiration of
baked beans and pumpkin pie; in the ele-
vating effect of good wheat bread and bis-
cuit; in the moral influence of the bathtub.
They are quicker and more radical than
prayer-books and preachers. They reach
the blood and degeneracy is a blood dis-
ease. As soon as the East becomes a mar-
ket for the West the pigtail is doomed.
When they take our merchandise they
must also take our civilization. When
they eat as we eat they will begin to feel
as we feel, to look as we look, to talk as
we talk, to pray as we pray. Little by
little, year by year they will change.
And from our standpoint the tremendous
value of this market it is not possible to
overestimate. With the Philippines as a
depot at the gate of the East we shall soon
be buying aud selling with its 400,000,000
people, and the brotherhood of man shall
come incomparably nearer, and even those
of little faith shall see great things in the
coming century.
American beefsteak, wheat and corn are
the sword of the future.
The edge of the sword in the hands of
the heathen Chinese, who feed on rice, is
dull as compared with that of the enemy
who stocks up on Yankee products.
The Oriental can become manly and
courageous by eating our food, and then
can soon learn to handle the implements of
both peace and war with the vim that we
do.—Henry Clews.
——David Glickman, of Chicago, was up
in a police court the other day on a charge
of cruelty made by his wife. He denied
the charge, and said his wife threw coal at
him.
‘‘But it was soft coal,’’ interrupted Mrs.
Glickman, at the suggestion of a lawyer.
‘“‘Your Honor, I was always good to my
wife,’’ said Glickman. ‘‘I bought her wine
and” —
“Who drank it?’ interrupted the pris-
oner’s stepson.
‘‘Idid,’’ confessed Glickson.
‘I also bought uer roast chicken.’
Who ate it 2”? asked the stepson.
“I did,” came the answer.
‘I also bought her candy, and fruit, and
pie, and pie, and cheese and sauerkraut.’’
“Yes, and who ate that?’’ inquired the
wife.
“I did,’’ responded the truthful hus-
band.
——A grand banquet was recently given
to the officers of Col. Funston’s famous reg-
iment, the Twentieth Kansas. Besides
each plate there were five wine glasses for
the five varieties of liquor to be served.
But the guests—those brave men whose
heroism on the battlefield has won for the
Twentieth Kansas a world-wide reputation
—had no use for the wine glasses. Theirs
were untouched. This is the kind of
heroes our country needs, heroes who will
not flinch before an enemy more danger-
ous to home and country than any foreign
foe. They are of the stuff that true pa-
triots are made of and such men our coun-
try needs to live for her, not to die for her.
They are worthy nobler service than that
of shooting and killing their fellowmen in
the Philippine Islands. They are wanted
for higher, holier more glorious warfare.
May the ‘‘fighting twentieth’’ never sur-
render to the rum power! May they con-
tinue to ‘‘hold that point’ for God and
humanity ‘‘until mustered out.’
Mormon Women in the Past.
Life in Salt Lake City as Seen by a Gentile.
According to a Philadelphia woman who
was in Salt Lake City under the old order
of things, Mormonism is more of a political
cult than a religion, an oligarchy with cer-.
tain socialistic features. In 1880 the guns
of Fort Douglass overawed the Danites,
those bloody executioners of the Church
decree. The Mountain Meadow massacre
and slaughter of a company of United
States soldiers by the ‘‘Saints’”” was no
longer possible, but the municipal govern-
ment was entirely in the hands of the
Mormons, and the plural wives were lit-
erally in a state of bondage. Even the
Bishops hired their wives out as farm
hands, and in due season visited them to
collect their wages. The Mormon law re-
quired a man to provide a house, wood and
flour for each wife; more than this she
must work for.
Brigham Young himself violated the
separate house obligation, as he had twen-
ty-five wives lodged in the Beehive, and
seventy-five in the Lion house, low build-
ings with enclosing walls and the gate
ways surmounted by figures of a lion and a
beehive. How peaceful and harmonious
the Lion house was may be inferred from
the fact that one of Brigham Young’s sons
on one occasion seized a knife and tried to
carve up the cook, and the whole seventy-
five wives held this their son blameless.
The story ran that in adjudicating the case
Brigham emulated the wisdom of Solomon
and desired the parties to the conflict to
assume the original position they held dur-
ing the fray, but the cook declined to take
the extra risk.
The entire population turned out for the
festivities of the semi-centennial of the
city. Five thousand roses. adorned the
vaulted roof of the Tabernacle, and five
hundred young girls, dressed in white,
rode on horseback, accompanied by five
hundred young Mormon men.
At this time Salt Lake was an educational
and industrial centre and a city so beauti-
ful that the eye of the tourist was en-
chanted. Completely surrounded by the
Wasatch range of mountains, perpetually
snowcapped, the atmosphere is so clear one
cannot realize that these peaks and chains
are from ten to fifteen miles distant from
the valley. All the suburbs are laid out
in fields as carefully tilled as a market
garden, generally with one of the old adobe
houses in the midst.
Each Mormon man was expected to have
four wives, so he built a row of four little
houses on an acre lot. Each wife had a
front and back door and two windows, and
a quarter-acre of ground to cultivate. The
husband was supposed to spend a week
with each wife, but usually he gave the
most of his time to the one that was the
best cook. Some of the wives craved their
husband’s society, but others, who found
it very expensive to board him, preferred
that he should lavish the greater part of
his society on the other members of his
family.
In the centre of Salt Lake City, where
the Tabernacle, Temple, Endowment house
and Brigham Young’s palaces stand, are
the handsome houses of the wealthy citi-
zens. These were entirely modern, with
piazzas and long French windows. Down
the broad streets a clear stream of water
flows on either side, and these streams are
bordered with grass, studded all over with
the short-stemmed dandelion. Watermas-
ters turn this water into every man’s
grounds, whether he be rich or poor.
The chief dogma of the Mormon religion
is that a man is exalted in Heaven in pro-
portion to the number of his wives and
children. The wife can only enter Heaven
by holding on to her husband’s coat-tails.
The childless wife has no chance at all,
unless she is instrumental in securing a
number of plural wives for her husband.
There were Gentiles living in Salt Lake
City in 1880, for under the agency of the
Star Spangled Banner the mineral wealth
of the Territory was rapidly developing.
Among others the niece of a Philadelphia
clergyman was obliged to tarry, because
she was the widow of a wealthy man who
had left” five children to be taken East.
The widow kept. house and employed a
Mormon woman to do her washing,
also the washerwoman’s husband to carry
out ashes and do similar odd jobs: One
day the washerwoman came to her employ-
er and told her that it was her duty to
marry this ashman, as unless she married a
Mormon she could not get into Heaven.
‘‘Besides,’’ added the washerwoman, ‘‘you
are rich and we are poor, so you can pro-
vide for us in our old age.”’
To appreciate the character of this insult
the endowment robe, which every Mormon
man or woman receives when he goes
through the Endowment House must be ex-
plained. This endowment robe is a cotton
garment made like a child’s night drawers,
and the recipient makes a: vow never to re-
move it. It is worn until it falls to pieces.
Naturally, it becomes very offensive, and
at the time mentioned it was literally true
that one could smell a Mormon at a con-
siderable distance.
There are two dogmas of the Mormon
Church which have doubtless attracted
some devoted souls. The first is being
baptized for the dead. The teaching is
that no matter how great- a criminal has
died, a relative by being baptized for him
restores him to holiness.
Blood atonement has also been a powerful
agent in preserving power. The Mormon
is raised in the belief that any one who of-
fends the Church can only be saved by
being killed.
There are four letters which are seen
everywhere in Salt Lake City. These are
Z. C. M. I., popularly explained as Zion’s'
Children Must Irrigate; but there is a se-
cret doctrine included in the characters
which it is more prudent to leave to those
under the sway of the Tabernacle and En-
dowment House.
A NIGHT OF TERROR. — “Awtal
anxiety wasfelt for the widow of the brave
General Burnham of Machias, Me., when
the doctors said she would die from pneu-
monia before morning’’ writes Mrs. S. H.
Lincoln, who attended her that fearful
night, but she begged for Dr. King’s New
‘Discovery, which had more than once saved
her life, and cured her of Consumption.
After taking, she slept all night. Further
use entirely cured her.’”” This marvellous
medicine is guaranteed to cure all Throat,
Chest and Lung Diseases. Only 50 cents
and $1.00. Trial bottles free at F. P.
Green’s drug store.
1f He'd Only Go.
Mis. Gabbie--1’m surprised to hear
you’re having trouble to get your money
out of Mr. Starboard. He always boasted
that he paid as he went.
Mrs. Bordem—Maybe he does, but I
can’t get him to go.
——He (rather backward )—Miss Edith,
y-you look sweet enough to kiss.
She—Well ! I'm glad to know it isn’t
my fault.”
State Agriculturists Meet.
The Governor Names a Successor to Leonard Rhone.
The annual meeting of the State Board
of Agriculture opened last Wednesday in the
Supreme Court chamber, at Harrisburg, |
and remained in session until Friday
evening. Governor Stone presided at the
morning session, and made a brief speech
congratulating the Board on its splendid
work in the past and predicting for it a
bright future.
The Governor appointed Colonel Robert
H. Thomas, of Mechanicsburg, a member
of the Board, in place of Leonard Rhone,
of Centre Hall, Mr. Rhone is a granger,
with a national reputation and the admin-
istration has caused it to be published that
he was not in sympathy with the State ad-
ministration.
The following topics were treated at the
afternoon session : ‘Whether the Broad or
the Narrow Way in the Business of Farm-
ing,”’ Samuel R. Downing, West Chester;
“Our Farm Garden,”” R. J. Weld, Sugar
Grove; ‘‘Farm Economies,” Major Levi
Wells, Harrisburg; ‘‘Geological Relations
of Soils,”” Dr. M. C. Ihlseng, State College.
The program at the evening session was
as follows : ‘‘Proof Positive That an In-
vestment in Sociability Will Yield a Profit
to Every Farmer,’”” H. V. White, Blooms-
burg; ‘Quick Growing Trees for Pennsyl-
vania Forestry,’”’ Dr. J. T. Rothrock, Com-
missioner of Forestry; ‘Progressive Poul-
try Raising,’’ Norris G. Temple, Pocopson.
The following officers were elected :
President, Governor Stone; vice presidents,
N. C. Schaeffer, Harrisburg; F. E. Fields,
Tioga; Colonel H. A. Gripp, Tyrone; sec-
retary, John Hamilton, Harrisburg; Execu-
tive Committee. W. N. Clark, Westmore-
land; G. G. Hutchinson, Warriors-mark;
Joel A. Herr, Cedar Springs; Matthew
Rodgers, Mexico; H. V. White, Blooms-
burg; Dr. M. E. Conrad, West Grove;
Jason Sexton, North Wales.
The Crops of 1899.
Final Estimates of Acreage, Production and Value.
The statistician of the department of agri-
culture has made public his final estimates
of the acreage, production and value of the
crops of 1899. The values are based on the
average farm prices on December 1st, in ac-
cordance with the practice of the depart-
ment.
The wheat acreage was 44,592,516, the
production 547,303,846 bushels and the
value $329,545,259, the average yield per
acre being 123 bushels and the average
farm price per bushel on December 1st,
58.4 cents.
The corn acreage was 82,108,387, the
production 2,078,143,933 bushels and the
value $629,210,110, the average yield per
acre being 25.3 bushels and the average
farm price per bushel on December 1st, 30.3
cents.
The acreage in oats was 26,341,380, the
production 796,177,713 bushels and the
value $198,167,975, the average yield per
acre being 30.2 bushels and the average
farm price per bushel on December 1st, 24.9
cents.
The barley crop is estimated at 73,381,-
560 bushels, the rye crop at 23,961,741
bushels, the buckwheat crop at 11,094,473
bushels, the potato crop at 228,783,232
bushels and the hay crop at 56,653,756.
A Woman Who saw Seventeen, Eighteen
and Nineteen Hundred.
Mrs. Deborah King, of Muskingum
county, W. Va., was born in Penn-
sylvamia in 1796, and will, therefore,
on Monday, have lived during the cen-
turies commencing with the seventeenth,
eighteenth and nineteenth. When a young
woman she went to Ohio with the family
of her father, David Dean, many of whose
relatives live in Eastern Pennsylvania. At
the age of 26 she became engaged to Sam-
uel King, of McConnellsville, O.
Her father dying shortly afterward, she
refused to have the marriage ceremony per-
formed during the life of her mother, who
was blind and an invalid. Her mother
died in 1861, and she was married to King
the following year, 40 years after the be-
ginning of their betrothal. She voted at
the last school election, and isin good
health. Her husband died 20 years ago.
Body of “Baby” Delaney Found.
The body of ‘‘Baby’’ Delaney, the young-
est victim of the Hummel quadruple mur-
der near Montgomery, Nov. 16th, was
discovered last week buried in a stable, a
short distance from the house in which the
murder was committed. It was directly
underneath the spot where Hummel’s horse
stood and was covered with stones,dirt and
cornstalks. The child’s skull had been
crushed in by a terrific blow from) some
blunt instrament.
The Hummel + urder was committed on
the night of Nov. 16th and one week later
the bodies of Mrs. Hummel and her two
children were found under a straw stack a
mile from the Hummel house. No trace
of the other child, a girl about 2 years of
age, could be found until Thursday. Hum-
mel is under arrest in Williamsport charged
with the crime.
A Good Guess.
A young woman of this city whois some-
what noted for her coquetry was talking a
few days ago to one of her numerous beaux.
*‘Oh,’’ she said, in a most pitiful tone of
voice, ‘nobody loves me.”
As she paused for reply the young man
said with that tenderness which always
appeals to the feminine heart :
“I am quite sure that somebody does
love you.”’
Her face brightened very preceptibly as
‘| she said with a great deal of interest :
‘I wonder who on earth it can be. Do
you know 2’?
“Oh, yes,”’ he replied.
mother.”
‘‘God and your
Mentioned as Usual.
Clara—Did the newspapers notice your
papa at the banquet ?
- Freddie—Yes:
Clara—Well, mamma said she could not
see his name in the list.
Freddie—No; but the list ends up with
“and others.”” That means papa. They
always mention him that way.
——Abrabham Lincoln was a moderately
successful lawyer, but his son, Robert T.,
has received in one case more than his fath-
er ever had for legal and official services
during his whole life. In the matter of
the Pullman estate he pocketed over $425,-
000. His father had in salary as President
slightly over $100,000, and as retainers
and from other sources possibly $150,000
more.
——The clergyman’s little boy was
spending the afternoon with the Bishop’s
children. ‘‘At the rectory‘’’ he said,
‘‘we’ve got a hen that lays an egg every
day.’” ‘‘Pooh I’ said Master Bishop, ‘my
father lays a foundation stone once a week.’’
Asked to Teach Victoria.
“This is 2 brand new stitch,” said the
young woman, holding up a dainty piece
of embroidery, “and if you will come
some day whem we can be all alone I'll
teach you how to do it.”
“That reminds me of a good story,”
said her companion. “You know that
Queen Victoria is a crank on the subject
of needlework and spends much time
learning new things in embroidery and
crochet work. Well, a few years ago she
was spending some time at Wiesbaden,
and she used to drive to the bazaar and
look at the needlework. while people
looked at her and wondered why she
would persist in wearing the old, rusty
bonnet. One day the young woman who
usually waited on her showed her what
you just showed to me—a brand new
stitch—and was asked to call the next
day and teach her majesty how to make
it. She was to make a second call to
finish the job several days later, but in
the meantime was taken ill, and the pro-
prictor of the establishment was beside
herself and worried as to how and where
she would get a substitute.
“On the day before the appointed time
a young girl from a western city in the
United States came to the bazaar and
saw and admired the piece of needle-
work and told the saleswoman that it
was the first she had seen since she had
finished a similar piece.
“‘Then you know how to do the
stitch?
¢ ‘Certainly,’ said the young woman.
‘Why?
“Well, there was a whispered consulta-
tion, and then the girl was asked if she
would act as substitute the next day and
teach the queen. You can imagine that
she did not hesitate. She went to the
hotel, and, radiant with joy and excite-
ment, told her mother of her good for-
tune, and, after she had received the
congratulations of her friends, her moth-
er shattered all her plans by reminding
her that the next day was Saturday and
that, as a good Jewess, she could do no
sewing on that day. And now the young
woman tells the story of how near she
came to teaching Queen Victoria a new
stitch.””—New York Tribune.
Magicians and Cards.
A group of old time sporis were telling
poker stories a few nights ago, and some-
body remarked that the elder Herrmann,
the magician, might easily have made a
fortune had he turned his attention to
gambling.
“I’ve heard that before,” said one of
the party. chuckling, “and it always
amused me. Why, my dear sir, Alexan-
der Herrmann was one of the poorest
poker players that ever drew to a bob-
tail. He liked a social game and plugged
away at it all his life, but he was never
anything but a raw amateur. Good
poker players are born, and it simply
wasn’t in him. As far as being able to
manipulate the cards was concerned, he
couldn’t do it, even had he been so dis-
posed, which of course he wasn’t. He
could perform wonderful tricks, but that
class of work is something entirely dif-
ferent from what is called advantage
playing. I have known four or five fine
sleight of hand performers, and not one
of them could do a thing with the deck
in an ordinary game. To do successful
crooked work in short cards requires not
only great dexterity of a kind entirely
distinct from stage tricks, but also a pe-
culiar temperament. All the men who
became famous for that sort of thing in
the old days were of the same general
type, and, when I come to think about it,
those I knew looked more or less alike.
They could perform extraordinary feats,
but it required years of practice and set-
ting everything else aside. No profes-
sional juggler could spare the time to
learn.
“The best proof that Herrmann was
unfamiliar with the tricks of the card ta-
ble is that he was continually being made
the victim. He made no secret of the
fact that he had been fleeced time and
again, and I happen to know personally
that he was once swindled out of a con-
siderable amount by one of the oldest and
stalest devices known to the fraternity.
When the thing was explained to him
afterward, he was deeply disgusted, but
he had never suspected it at the time.”’—
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
The Headsman of the Tower.
A picturesque official in England is the
headsman and executioner of the Tower
of London. He makes a unique figure in
his costume of the sixteenth century, con-
sisting of long scarlet tunic slashed with
black velvet, loose red knickerbockers
and red stockings, with rosettes of red,
white and blue ribbon at the knees and
upon the low shoes.
In days gone by the public were al-
ways made aware, by the manner in
which the “headsman of the Tower’ car-
ried the ax, whether the prisoner, who
marched immediately following him in
the procession to and from the place of
trial, had been sentenced to death or not,
for as long as the prisoner had not been.
convicted or condemned to lose his life.
the ax pointed forward as it was borne
before him by the headsman. But from
the very moment that capital punishment
had been decreed against him the edge
of the ax pointed ominously his way.
Black, but White.
At a recent church dedication the
preacher, who was a stranger, followed
up his ‘sermon by an earnest appeal for
the balance of the money needed to pay
for the building. :
The collectors went around, and the
promises came in. As the subscriptions
were, one after another, read a collector
announced. ‘The five Black children,
$1.” The courteous ' preacher quickly
amended the statement. by announcing,
‘“Five little colored children, $1.”
Amid an outburst of merriment the
pastor hastily explained that the donors
were white children of the name of
-Black.—Short Stories.
Readjustment.
Employer—I'm afraid 1 cannot accede
to your request for an increase of salary,
but I'll tell you what I will do—I'll re-
duce the other clerk’s pay to what you
et.
Clerk—Oh, thank you, sir! You are
very good. It will be just as satisfacto-
ry—just as satisfactory.—Boston Tran-
script.
No Resemblance.
“Woman and cats.’ said the youthful
boarder. ‘are alike.”
“Wrong. young man,” said the cheer-
ful idiot. “A woman can’t run up a
telegraph pole, and a cat can’t run up
2 millinery bill.”—Indianapolis Press.
A scientist looking for microbes says
Shere are absolutely neme on the Swiss
Jountains at an altitude of 2,000 feet.
Four Mountain Lions.
“Twice in my life, up to five years ago,
I had felt my hair crawl,” said the pros-
pector, “but, as to. its standing on end, I
didn’t believe such a thing possible. I
was knocking about in the mountains of
Idaho with a partner when I went out
alone one day to pop over some game for
the dinner pot. I had gone a mile or more
from camp and had descended to the bot-
tom of a ravine to fet a drink of water
when 1 turned the top of a fallen tree
and ran plump against as pretty a sight
as you ever saw. On a grassy spot, in
the full blaze of the sun, lay four moun-
tain lions fast asleep. For half a minute
I thought them dead, but as I stood star-
ing with my mouth open every one of the
four sprang up with a growl. I had a
Winchester in my hands, but 1 could no
more have lifted it to my face than I
could have uprooted the mountain. The
first sensation 1 had caught me in the
ankles. It was a numbness, as if my feet
were asleep, and it traveled upward until
I stood there like a block of ice. Only
my brain was left clear. On top of the
numbness came a feeling that I was
breaking out with a rash. Then the hair
at the back of my neck began to curl and
twist and crackle, and a minute later ev-
ery hair on my head was on end. I had
on a soft felt hat, and I am sure that hat
was lifted up an ineh or two.
“As to the lions, they stood there, head
on to me and sniffing and growling and
switching their tails,and had I but moved
a finger they would have been on me. 1
didn’t move because I couldn’t. I don’t
believe I moved an eyelash for three min-
utes. By and by one of the beasts drop-
ped his tail and whined. My unexpected
presence and queer appearance mystified
him. His actions were followed by an-
other, and ten seconds later the four made
a sneak down the ravine, growling and
whining as they went. They had been
gone a minute before I felt my blood cir-
culating again, and perhaps it was anoth-
er minuate before I could move about.
Then I found my hat on the ground at
my feet. There wasn't a breath of wind
down there, and if my hair didn’t lift that
hat off my head how did it leave it? 1
know the hat was pushed off. I know it,
because when I got back to camp my hair
hadn’t yet flattened down, and when my
chum rubbed his hand over my head there
was a crackling as of a rabbit running
through the dry brush. This state of
things continued for two days, and the
way 1 finally got the scare out of the hair
was to rub on about a pint of coon’s fat
and heat it at the camp fire.”—New York
Sun.
Boarded His Craft.
Through negotiations conducted be-
tween an eastern attorney and a local
real estate man, one of the old school
captains, who had sailed the waters salt
and fresh, purchased a pretty residence
in the northern part of the city. He hap-
pened to come on whiie the agent was su-
perintending some improvements to the
property.
“Ahoy!” hailed the captain as he hove
in sight. ‘“That’s her, hey? And a tidy
lookin craft she is. Good holdin ground,
too, for the man as would cast anchor
to stay till final orders. Pardon, sir, for
not firin a salute and dippin the ensign,
sir. We'll crack a bottle over the cap-
stan, me hearty, and then the rules has
got to be observed, sir, for even an old
hulk like meself is liable to take a con-
sort.” ;
Naturally enough, the agent thought
the captain was drunk and was indis-
creet enough to say so.
“What!” shouted the authorized in-
vader. “Won't let me pass? Order me
to veil me topsails! Run athwart my
hawser, will you? Blither me optics if I
hain’t tempted to run you down, you
Fourth of July cockboat and tootin a
landlubber’s horn.”
“Move on, now.”
“Move on? Me! With the admiral’s
permit in me pocket? Me! Move on for
a soft shell picaroon and without firin a
broadside? I'll board me craft if 1 have
to shoot all yer standin riggin away. I'd
like to have the teachin of you on a
year’s cruise, you chicken gaited swab,
with a thinker as foggy as the banks of
Newfoundland. Clew up, now, for I
have the orders,” and he dramatically
produced the deeds.
“] throwed the grapplin hooks without
a blow struck,” tells the captain, “and
the agent made his proper excuses for
not understandin English.”’—Detroit Free
Press.
A Close Call.
They were a pair of colored white-
washers, standing on the street corner
and talking about hard times, when a
white man stepped up, bent over and felt
around their heels and presently rose up
with three $10 goldpieces in his hand.
“I dropped ’em here an hour or so ago,’
he explained as he jingled them under
their chins and walked off. The two
men looked at each other for a long time,
and then one observed:
“Rastus, deir hain’t no luck in dis
world fur us fur shure. We was walkin
right on dat gold and didn’t know it!” :
“Reckon it's de doin’s of de Lawd,’
humbly replied the other. ' “If we'd a’
found dat money we'd bin so stuck up
ober it dat de Lawd would hev bad to
send de cholera around to take de vanity
out of us. It was a cluss call, Brudder
Smith—a cluss call!”’—New York Sun.
Education.
1 consider a human soul without edu-
cation like marble in a quarry, which
shows none of its inherent beauties until
the skill of the: polisher fetches out the
colors, makes the surface shine and dis-
covers every ornamental cloud, spot and
vein that runs throughout the body of
“it. Education, after the same manner,
when it works upon a noble mind, draws
out to view every latent virtue and per-
fection, which, without suck helps, are
never able to make their gpppearance.—
Selected.
Hindoos and the Ruby.
With the Hindoos of today the ruby
is esteemed as a talisman which is never
shown willingly to frien¢gs and is consid-
ered ominous of the worst possible for-
tune if it should happen to contain black
spots. The ancients accredited it with
the power of restraining passion and re-
gard it as a safeguard against lightning.
Ruskin’s injunction to his servants:
all me from my study whenever there
is a beautiful sunset or any unusual ap-
pearance in the sky or landscape.”
—— General Fitzhugh Lee says that
shortly after he had gone to Cuba he had
occasion to use the telephone,and the oper-
ator at the central station asked who was
talking. ‘‘Lee-Fitz bugh «the
sponse. ‘‘Spell it, please.’” *‘F-i-t-z-h-u-g-h
L-e-e.” “Thank you,’’ said the operator.
Then sotto voice, he added : ‘Plague take
these Chinamen !”’
aL