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Democratic Wad
Bellefonte, Pa., Sept. 16, 1892.
Wit and Humor.
There is a wide difference in horse
sense and horse talk.
An argument results from the collis-
ion of two trains of thought.
“Were you upset by the bank fail-
ure?’ “Yes. I lost my balance.”
The desirability of bonds depends on
whether you hold them or they hold
you.
The chimney swallow ought to out-
fly all other birds, for it}is hatched in
a flue.
Don't speak lightly of the graduate i
he knows a great deal that you have for-
gotten. :
A great many people who claim that
the shoe does not fit them howl because
it pinches.
“What 1sso rare as steak well dore ?”
said the June poet sadly to himself as
he contemplated the ill-cooked meat.
He—‘No one can understand what
the wild waves are saying.” She—"Ot
course not. The ocean is so very deep.”
“My wife gave me a blowing up be-
cause I didn’t get her an oil stove.”
*Yes.”
“Well, I got her one and then she
blew herself up.”
The average man devotes his engage-
ment to wishing he was rich enough to
have a nice home tor his wife and in
spending what money he has on non-
sense for her.
The official title of the Governor of
Rhode Island is the Captain-General of
Rhode Island and Providence Planta-
tions. The title runs out of the State
into deep water.
“The way *2 succeed.” said Ze rich
philosopher, ‘is to begin right, my boy.”
“I suppose you mean that I should
have been born rich, as you were,” said
the young man.
Old Gentleman—*‘Don’t you think it
is cruel to shut up a bird in a little cage
like that 7’ Little Girl—*0, I don’t
know. I have a pretty good time, and
I live in a flat.”
Satan—*“Who are those two new ar-
rivals?’ Asmodeus—*“The ‘didn’t
-know-it-was-loaded’ fool and the “rock-
the-boat’ fool” Satan—*“Give them
nice front rooms.’
Little Sadie—“O, Uncle Harry Miss
Brown and Mr. Swift arein the parlor,
and she has her head on his shoulder.”
Uncle Harry—*“That’s all right. She
has a lien on him.”
Harry—*“Blowitz proved to his wite
that he didn’t marry her for money.’
Jack—“How ?” Harry—*“To show
her how little he cared for it, he spent
every cent she had.”
Tanks. “I tried to get old Soak to go
to Asbury Park this year for his vaca-
tion, but it was no use.”
Banks. “Where is he going ?”
Tanks. “Bar Harbor, of course.”
Briggs. “Isn't that the same suit you
had last year ¢”
Griggs. “Yes ; and it's the same suit
that you asked me last year if it wasn’t
the same suit I had the year before.”
“I usually judge a man,” said the
philosopher, “by what his near neigh-
bors say of him. If the most of them
roundly abuse him, you can depend on
his having considerable individuality.”
“A gentleman,” said the philosopher
‘‘a true gentleman may be defined as a
man who can buy another man a cigar
without wondering whether the other
man will ever return the compliment,”
“What is the name of that lady who
sneezed so much ?”’ he asked. “I don't
know,” replied his sister; “she seems
very intense.” “I should say she was
intense, she’s a grass widow with the
hay fever.”
“Where do you think old Gotrox
will go when he dies?’ “If he con-
tinues in the same course as here he
will put in one-seventh of his time in
heaven and the other six-seventh—er—
ah—elsewhere.”
Toto stands in ecstatic contemplation
in front of an India-rubber warehouse.
“Mamma, say, what's that? “That is
a diver’s costume.” “Ob, do buy me
one, mammy, dear.” “What for?"
“For when you wash me!”’
“Why do you put the bracketed
word ‘laughter’ after those jokes in De-
pew’s speech 2’ “Because they're fun-
ny. What should they put?’ “Why,
Puck, Judge or Truth, or whatever oth-
er source Chauncey got ’em from,”
-William Ann—“In- this country
every boy is supposed to learn a useful
trade.”
Lord Forgivuz—‘But surely the
President isn’t an artisan ?”
William Ann—Oh yes, he is; he is a
cabinet-maker.
Little Bobby—“Mamma, the boys is
goin’ to have a circus, May I act?’
Mamma—*“Oh, I suppose so. What
are you to do?” Little Bobby—‘Noth.-
iv’ much. They is goin’ to have a
pyramid of sixteen boys an’all I has
to do is to stand on top.”
Mrs. Pennifeather—Good n ess gra-
cious! I wonder what in the world has
become of all my tarts ?
Mr. Pennifeather—Where did yon
put them ?
Right on the window sill, here.
That accounts for it. You have
carelessly exposed them to the son.
Bulfinch—“How are Naggedat and
his wife getting along together?’ Wood-
en—“0, I don’t know; what makes
you ask?” Bulfinch—*"O, nothing ;
only when they got married they had
one of those mottoes, ‘God bless Our
Home,’ in the sitting-room; and now
he has it up in his smoking-room with
‘As Far as Possible’ written under-
neath it.”
The Immigration Question.
The inspection of American immi-
grants in Europe is more thorough than
most people on this side of the water
have any appreciation of but this is in
the north of Europe and the conditions
much worse in the Mediterranean ports,
whence come the most undesirable
classes. Mr. Spaulding, Assistant Sec-
retary of the Treasury, has just returned
from a tour of inspection of the immi-
gration business abroad and from in-
formation gained will issus new regula-
tions governing the manner in which
immigration will be regulated. At the
German ports, including- Hamburg,
Bremen, Rotterdam and Antwerp, he
found excellent arrangements for the
examination and shipment of emigrants.
In the first place the German govern-
ment requires a thorough examination
by official surgeons to be made of all
people coming from Russia and German
frontier, and they allow none to pass in-
to their country who come from infected
districts or who are liable to bring dis-
ease into Germany. The German em-
igrants, or the people who emigrate
from Germany, whether they are Ger-
mans or not, on their arrival at all sea
ports whence they expect to sail, are
placed in boarding houses under rigid
sanitary rules. Before going on ship-
board the immigrants are further exa-
mined by surgeons and have the ap-
proval of the American Consul. Says
Mr. Spauling.
At this examination all who might
be classed as doubtful are stopped. The
rest are all placed on board ship. Be-
fore they go abroad, however, they are
taken to a large building erected by the
steamship company, with all modern
appliances and conveniences, with con-
crete floors, ample sleeping accommoda-
tions and good kitchens for preparing
food. There they are also obliged to
take a bath. Just off the bath rooms
are disinfecting rooms, where the cloth-
ing of these people is taken, put through
a disinfecting process and returned to
them. These conditions they must com-
ply with in every particular and in ev-
ery case before they can go aboard the
ship.
The steamship companies do this for
their own" protection. At Liverpool,
Mr. Spaulding, says the examinations
are also very thorough, but it is done by
the steamship companies without any
authority| of law. Business considera-
tions forbid their taking people of the
forbidden class only to carry them back
again at their own expense if they are
rejected here. An epidemie disease
breaking ¢ = on shipboard discredits the
line. Ee
We get no information from Mr.
Spaulding about the conditions at the
French ports on the Mediterranean.
There has been much exageration as
to the immigration of criminals, pau-
pers and affl‘'etel people likely to be-
come a burden. If poverty was an ob-
jection, of course many thousands
would be rejected who now come, The
great proportion of the immigration is
able-bodied and very poor, but ambi-
tious to get along in the world, and the
making of good citizens. They are
discredited by the exceptions, and by
the rurther fact we have about all the
cheap labor we can absorb without
ruinous competition in the labor mar-
ket. That is part of the question that
presents the greatest difficulties in the
way of remedial legislation.— Pittsburg
Post,
Quinine and Peruna.
Two Great Malarial Remedies Compared.
Nothing is more clearly demonstrat-
ed than that there are two distinct forms
of malaria, which for the want of better
names, may be denominated acute and
chronic. It has been recently shown
that the parasite which causes malaria
are different in the acute ‘and chronic
forms. The acute form is commonly
known as fever and agus, or chills and
fever. This form of the disease is too
well known in malarious districts to
need discription, and is generally cura-
ble by large doses of quinine, though
this is not so favorable aremedy as Pe-
runa. The chronic form of malaria is,
by no means so well understood, as the
symptoms are hardly ever exactly alike
in any two cases, and it is rarely, if
ever, curable by taking quinine. Each
case presents slightly different symp-
toms, the most common ones being dull
headache, sallow complexion, furred
tongue, bad taste, poor digestion, shiv-
ering feeling, hot flashes, cold feet and
hands, and constant tired feelings.
Quinine will not cure cases of chron-
ic malaria as above described. Peruna
is the only specific for such cases. Pe-
runa is sure to cure, leaves the system
with no derangement, and produces no
drug habit hard to leave off, which
quinine will do.
Peruna is for sale at most drug-stores,
accompanied with directions for use ;
but those who are using it should send
for the Family Physician No. 1, a
treatise on malaria. Sent free by the
Peruna Drug Manufacturing company,
Columbugz, Ohio.
Meeting of the Naval Veterans of the
United States at Baltimore--Reduced
rates via Pennsylvania Railroad.
The naval veterans of the United
States will hold a re-union at Baltimore
September 15th to 19th inclusive, and
for this occasion the Pennsylvania Rail-
road Company will sell excursion tickets
from all points on its lines at one first
class fare for the round trip. Tickets
will be sold and good going September
13th to 20th, valid for return until Oc-
tober 10th inclusive, and will permit a
stop-off at Philadelphia and Harrisburg
and at stations between Harrisburg and
Baltimore.
A New Industry in Chicago.
The campaign is booming in Chicago.
One night last week 1,002 aliens took
the oath of allegiance and secured their
final naturalization papers. It is claim-
ed that no great effort to complete the
naturalization of aliens and secure the
registration of foreign-born citizens en-
titled to vote has ever been made in
Chicago, and that as a result of the un-
recedented work in that direction now
Pe done at least 75,000 names will be
added to the voting lists. Two-thirds
of the new voters are said to be Demo-
crats,.— World.
——For scrufula in every form Hood's
Sarsaparilla is a radical, reliable remedy
It has an unequalled record of cures.
Business Notices.
Children Cry for Pitcher’s Ca toria.
When baby was sick, we gave her Castoria.
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria.
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Cas-
toria. 36 14 2y
——What shall it prcfit a man if he gain the
whole world and then has the dyspepsia so
bad that he can’t enjoy any of the good things
it contains ? He won’t have dyspepsia if he
takes Dale Little Early Risers.—C. M.
Parrish.
——Piles of people have piles, but De Witt's
Witch Hazel Salve will cure them.—C. M. Par-
rish.
~——DIED.—In this city of consumption. A
familiar headline isn’t it? It’s pretty risky to
neglect a cold or cough. One Minute Cough
Cure is pleasant safe and sure.—C. M. Parrish.
It’s not very plesant to cough and hack,
To suffer pain in chest and back,
Many people could stop it, for sure
By simply using One Minute Cough Cure.—C.
M. Parrish.
——Have tried almost every known remedy
for Itching Piles without success, finally
bought a box of De Witt’s Witch Hazel Salve
and it has cured me. C. D. Haskias, Peoria
Ill.—C. M. Parrish.
——A gentleman of this country who has ex-
cellent judgment remarked to us the other
day that he knew of no pill so good for con-
stipation, dyspepsia SE liver complaint as
DeWitt’s Little Early Risers.—C. M. Parrish.
——There is no use talking, neither Harri-
son or Cleveland will be elected unless they
take De Witt’s Little Early Risers. They
have a “get there” quality possessed by no oth-
er pill.—C, M. Parrish.
~——Dyspepsia, distress after eating, sour
stomach, poor appetite, bad taste, coated
tongue oo llr are cured by De Witt’s
Little Early Risers, the famous little pills.—C.
M. Parrish, 37-34-1y
Leaf by Leaf.
The dropping of the leaves is not always
caused by the ending of summer, or the ad-
vent of the fall season, but indeed by many
causes. So with the health and life of the hu-
man being. One by one they are carried to an
early grave. You take a cold and say, “Ohs
well, it is nothing but a cold,” and so it is, bug
if not checked in time and neglected, it leads
to consumption and other diseases. Prevent
it, stop it, by using a pure rye whisky. Minis-
ters, physician and hospital superintendents
agree in recommending as a perfect stimulent,
Klein's Silver Age or Duquesne Ryes. The
former sells at $1.50 and the latter at $1.25 per
full quart sold by S. Shloss, Williamsport, Pa
New Advertisements,
Pre 15 YEARS
UNDER DOCTOR'S TREATMENT FOUR
DIFFERENT TIMES. NO RELIEF
WHATEVER. CURED BY CUT-
ICURA.
I have used the Cuticura Remedies, and
fuund them to be justas you represented.
They have given me a perfect cure. I have
bez n troubled with pruritus for over fifteen
years, and have been under the doctor’s treat-
ment four ditferent times, with no relief what-
ever, until I tried the Cuticura Remedies. After
using them just one week, I found that life
was not such a burden afterall, and am satis-
fied that I shallnever be troubled again. Such
faith I have in your remedies. You can send
any one that is troubled with pruritus, and I
will satisfy them what it has done for me. I
will not restrict you from publishing this com-
munication, but would rather not. The reme-
dies are so good that it would be rather selfish
in me not to speak of their good qualities.
0.8. WILLIAMS,
89th St. and 1st Avenue, New York.
FACE FULL OF SORES
My face was all fuli of sores, and itched so
that I could scratch my face to pleoes, and a
kind of watery fluid ran out. I had tried all
blood medicines except Cuticura Remedies,
which were the only ones that did me any
good My face is now all clear, and I feel like
a new-born child. F. KRIETE,
153 Powers St., Brooklyn, N. Y.
CUTICURA RESOLVENT
The new Blood pnrifier, internally (to cleanse
the blood of all impurities and poisonous ele-
ments,) and Cuticura the great Skin Cure, and
Cuticura Soap, an exquisite Skin Beaautifier,
externally (to clear the skin and scalp and re-
store the hair,) have cured thousands of cases
where the shedding of scales measured a
a quart daily, the skin cracked, bleeding,
burning, and itching almost beyond endurance
hair lifeless or all gone suffering terrible.
What other remedies have made such cures ?
Sold everywhere. Price, Cuticura 50c.; Soap,
25¢.; RESOLVENT, $1.00. Prepared by the Por-
TER DRUG AND CHEMICAL CORPORATION, Boston.
&%~Send for “ How to Cure Skin Diseases,”
64 pages, 50 illustrations, and 100 testimonials.
Pus black-heads, red rough
chapped, and oily skin cured by Cuti-
cura Soap.
1 STOPS THE PAIN
Back ache, kidney pains, weakness,
rheumatism, and muscular pains relieved in
one minute by the Cuticura Anti-Pain Plas-
ter. 25c. 37-34-4t
Druggist.
DD" JAS. A. THOMPSON & CO.
APOTHECARIES,|
ALLEGHENY S1., BELLEFONTE, PA.
=——=DEALERS IN——
PURE { DRUGS, | MEDICINES
TOILET } ARTICLES
and every thing kept in a first class*Drug
Store.
$7 14 6m
Philadelphia Card.
Kann W. MILLER, -
WITH
WOOD, BROWN & CO.,
Dealers in
HOSIERY, NOTIONS, WHITE GOODS &C.
429 Market Street:
151 PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Gas Fitting.
M. GALBRAITH, Plumber and
Gas and Steam Fitter, Bellefonte, Pa.
Pays perticular attentien to heatin buildings
by steam, copper smithing, rebronsing gas fix-
ruest, &c. 20 20
Sechler & Co.
Pure Malt Whisky,
Ips SELECTED
—————BLENDE
sem J.
1 is a pretty well settled principal with all ex-
pert tea men that the highest perfection in tea can-
not be attained from any one kind or variety of tea
But that the best value and choicest flavor
plant.
can be obtained only by a
Jully selected high grade goods of different varieties.
When teas are perfectly blended the original Slav-
or of each variety disappears in the blend, and from
the combination we get something entirely new and
much finer than any of the original flavors.
We have a new blend of our own.
ration of which we have spent considerable time’ and
labor and have also had the aid and counsel of sev-
eral as good tea men as are to be found in the Unit-
1% 1s with entire confidence that we of-
Jer the goods for sale and unhesitatingly claim them
ed States.
20 be very superior both in
Xf you want a cup of ROYAL TEA, try our
new blended goods.
We also carry a full line of Teas, Oolongs, Ja-
pan, Young Hyson, Imperials, Gunpowder, Eng-
lish Breakfast, also several grades of blended goods,
and can suit the trade on
You may not be exactly suited on the goods you are
using, and we feel confident that you will be able
to get from us just what you are wanting, We sell
Jine teas at very reasonable prices.
We have a clean dry sugar 8lbs for 3octs. the
cheapest sugar ever sold in Bellefonte.
Respectfully,
D TEAS =——
skillful blending of care-
In the prepa-
value and flavor.
anything in the tea line.
Try them.
SECHLER & CO.
36-45 BrLLeroNTE, Pa.
Printing. Printing.
r= JOB PRINTING.
Fine Job Printing Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing:
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing. Fine Job Printing.
FINE JOB PRINTING}
Fine Job Printing: Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job!Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine don Printing.
Fine Job Printing,
Fine Job Printing,
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
Fine Job Printing.
—[AT THE WATCHMAN OFFICE.}—
Oculists and Opticians.
Music Boxes.
Ieee EYE EXAMINATION.
~——O0UR=—
EYE SPECIALIST
will .be in
—BELLEFONTE,—
—WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 21,—
at the
BROCKERHOFF HOUSE,
from 8,30 A. M. to 5 P. M., and will make wo
CHARGE to examine your eyes.
Persons who have headache or whose eyes
are causing discomfort should call upon our
Specialist, and they will receive intelligent
and sk#lful attention.
NO CHARGE to examine your eyes.
Every pair of glasses ordered is guaranteed to
be satisfactory.
SUsnN & CO,
1010 Chestnut 8t., Philadelphia, Pa
36 21 1y
rue LATEST INVENTION IN
j—SWISS MUSIC BOXES.—1
They are the sweetest, most complete, dur-
able, and perfect Musical Boxes made,
(warranted in every respect) ——
and any number of tunes can be obtained
for them.
PAT. IN SWITZERLAND AND THE U. S.
We manufacture especially for direct fami-
ly trade and we guarantee our instruments far
superior to the Music Boxes usually made
for the wholesale trade, and sold by general
Merchandise, Drygoods or Music Stores.
Gem Concert Roller Organs. Lowest prices.
Old Music Boxes carefully repaired and im"
proved.
H. GAUTSCHI & SONS, Manufacturers,
Salesrooms, 1030 Chestnut Street,
36-46.18m Philadelphia.
Iooeves
PURE BARLEY
MALT WHISKY]
DYSPEPSIA,
INDIGESTION,
2nd all wasting diseases can be
ENTIRELY CURED BY IT.
Malaria is completely eradicated from he
system by its use.
PERRINE'S
PURE BARLEY
MALT WHISKY
revives the energies of those worn with excege
sive bodily or mental effort. It acts as a SAFE
GUARD against exposure in the wet and rigo-
rous weather,
Take part of a wineglassful on your arrival
home after the labors of the day and the same
cally pure, it commends itself to the medica.
profession.
WATCH THE LABEL.
dil te Sh HR le hs
None genuine unless bearing the signature
of the firm on the label.
M. & J. S. PERRINE,
38:N. Third St., Philadelphia.
————
3136 1y
Book Bindery.
I fo Tene BOOK BINDERY.
[Established 1852.]
Having the latest improved machinery I am
repared to
BIND BOOKS AND MAGAZINES
of all descriptions, or to rebind old books,
Special attention given to the ruling of paper
and manufacture of BLANK BOOKS.
Orders will be received at this office, or ad
dress F. L. HUTTER,
Book Binder, Third and Market Streets,
25 18 Harrisburg, Pa.
Saddlery.
SY CHOPT BLD NEW
HARNESS HOUSE.
We extend a most cordial invitation to our
patrons and the public, in general, to witness
one of the
GRANDEST DISPLAYS OF
Light and Heavy Harness
ever put on the Bellefonte market, which will
be made in the large room, formerly occupied
by Harper Bros., on Spring street. It has been
added to my factory and will be used exclus
sively for the sale of harness, being the first
exclusive salesroom ever used in this town, as
heretofore the custom has been to sell goods
in the room in which they were made. This
elegant room has been refitted and furnished
with glass cases in which the harness can be
nicely fisplaved and still kept away from
heat and dust, the enemies of long wear in
leather. Our factory now occupies a room
16x74 feet and the store 20x60 added makes it
the largest establishment of its kind outside.
of Philadelphia and Pittsburg.
We are prepared to offer better bargains in
the future than we have done in the past and
we want everyone to see our goods and get
prices for when you do this, out of self defense
I will buy. Our profits are not large, but
y selling lots of goods we can afford to live in
Bellefonte. We are not indulging in idle
philanthropy. It is purely business. We are
not making much, but trade is growing and
that is what we are int:rested in now. Profits
will take care of themselves.
When other houses discharged their works
men during the winter they were all put to
work in my factory, nevertheless the bi a
houses of this city and county would smile
we compared ourselves to them, but we do not
mean to be so odious, except to venture the ag=
section that none of them can say, as we can
say “NO ONE OWES US A CENT THAT WE
CAN'T GET.” This is the whole story.
The following are kept constantly on hand.
50 SETS OF LIGHT HARNESS, prices from
$3.00 to $15.00 and upwards, LARGE
STOCK OF HEAVY HARNESS
set $25.00 and upwards, 500 HORS
COLLARS from $1,50 to $5,00
each, over $100.00 worth of
ARNESS OILS and
AXLE GREASE,
$400 worth of Fly Nets sold cheap
$150 worth of whips
from 15¢ to $3.00 each,
Horse Brushes,Cury Combs
Sponges, Chamois, RIDING
SADDLES, LADY SIDESADDLES
Harness Soap, Knee Dusters, at low
prices, Saddlery-hardware always on hand
for sale, Harness Leather as low as 25c per
pound. We keep everythingto be found in a
FIRST CLASS HARNESS STORE—no chang
ing, over 20 years in the same room. No twe
shops in the same town to catch trade—NO
SELLING OUT for the want of trade or prices.
Four harness-makers at steady work this wine
ter, This is our idea of protection to labor,
when other houses discharged their hands,
they soon found work with us.
JAS. SCHOFIELD,
33 37 Svring street, Bellefonte, Pa.
INuminating @il.
{powy ACME.
THE REST
BURNING CIT.
THAT CAN BE MADF
FROM PETROLEUM,
It gives a Brilliant Light.
It will not Smoke the Chimney.
It will Not Char the Wick.
It has a High Fire Test.
It does Not Explode.
It is without an eqnal
AS A SAFETY FAMILY OIL.
We stake our reputation as refiners that
IT IS THE BEST OIL IN THE WORLD.
Ask your dealer for it. Trade supplied by
ACME OIL CO.
84 35 1y Williamsport, Pa
For sale a retail by W. T. TWITMIRE;
3
quantity before your breakfast. Being chemi.
Se
“cats eon
Sd Se in sam an"
HELL RL