. sidered twenty if some inconvenient
. wag getting up startlingly near a very
of course, no preception of her annoy-
ICE
Bellefonte, Pa., July 3, 1891.
THE OLD OAKEN BUCKET,
How dear.to my heart are the scenes of my
childhood , I
When fond recollection presents them to
view—
The orchards us, meadow, the deep-tangled
Wilda -woo
And eyery loved spot which my infancy
new.
The wide-spreading pond and the mill which
stood by it,
The bridge and the rock where the cataract
© : :
The cot of my father, the dairy house nigh it,
And e’en the rude bucke: which hung in
the well—
The old oaken bucket, the iron-bound bucket,
The rooss.covered bucket, which hung in
the well.
The moss-covered vessel I hail as a treasure,
For often at noon, when returned from the
field. oo
I found it the source of an exquisite pleasure,
The purestand sweetest that nature can
ield = -
How ardunt I seized it, with hands that were
glowing, : ;
And quick to the white-pebbled bottom it
fell :
Then soon, with the emblem of truth over-
flowing, ;
And dripping with coolness, it rose from the
well—
The old oaken bucket, the iron bound bucket
The moss-covered bucket that arose from
the well,
How sweet from the green mossy brim to re-
ceive it, Sa
As, poised on the curb, it inclined to my
lips ;
Not & full blushing goblet could tempt me to
leave it, 3
Though filled with a nectar that Jupiter
sips. oo
And rr removed from the loved situa
tion
The tear of regret will intrusively swell,
As fancy reverts to my father’s plantation,
And sighs 5 the bucket which hangs in
the well :—
The old oaken bucket, the iron-bound bucket,
The moss-covered bucket which hangs in,
the well. Samuel Woodworth.
TIER
OLD HUNDRED, B. C., AND THE BI-
CYCLE.
Old Hundred’s real name was P.T.
Simmons. ‘Just P. T.” he always in-
sisted. “They don’t stand for anything.
Father and mother ran out of names
when they came to me, and gave me
initials.” So the village wag dubbed
him Old Hundred, for short, and the
name adhered.
For Old Hundred was one of those
dried up little men who might be con-
old Jadies did not remember holding
them in their arms just forty years ago.
He wore a dainty juvenile mustache,
walked with a smart swing, although
one might notice that his heels came
down rather stiffly, and played games
among the most frivolous at the church
socials.
He was a tailor, an excellent one, by
the way, and his apprentices had by
this time ceased to grin and chuckle
when their master sprang down from
his cross-legged position on the table
every morning precisely at ten, as B,
C. passed on her way to the postoffice,
after the mail. He would jump down,
snatch up his hat in an abseat mind-
ed, blushing way, and remark that the
mail must be distributed by this time.
If the apprentices had ceased to smiled
at this sort of thing, you may be sure
that it had become an old story.
Indeed, Old Hundred had been court-
ing B. C. for a long, long time. And
that was too bad, because B. C. deserv-
ed a better fate, a more vigorous lover.
No one could tell when Susy Bennett
was first called B. C. Ifone could
have told that, you see, it would have
give some clue to her age. Susy was a
dear old girl, however, with kind langh-
ing eyes, and a shrewd little brain of
her own. It wasn't her fault if she
rheumatic forty without getting Old
Hundred.
For when a man has gone through
forty years with a sneaking desire for
matrimony tilillating at his heart all
the while, without the grit and manli-
ness to say so when given opportunity
by the proper person once, twice, daily,
Cupid despairs of him more than of
- | the afternoon saw our-hero and heroine |
dom. There is such a thing, you
know, as a heart which is too soft for
those daicty little darts, which merely
nurses them asa feather pillow would.
One day the ancient twain were
strolling back from the postoffice at
10:30 a. m., with the incipient court-
ship-air which had been petrified so
Jong ago. She was smiling at him,
bravely and hopefully, and talking
bright nothings, while his feather pil-
low of a heart fluttered drowsily.
Suddenly there flashed around the
corner and bore straight down upon
them Will Davis and Lucy his young
wife, on their bicycles, off for a duy’s
holidy together 1f one might judge
from their bundles. Upright they
were, noiseless, swift, graceful and full
of life in every movement and in every
fluttering garment, glittering eyed, with
handsome. healthtul faces.
Old Hundred and B. C.
gaze'admiringly after them:
“How finely Mrs. Davis rides!” mur-
mured Old Hundred.
“And how exceedingly graceful Mr.
Davis is!” responded B. C. rather
sharply.
“I've often thought that I should
like a wheel,” said Old Hundred, with
turned to
ance.
“And I should enjoy one
much,” added B. C.
“You!” Old Hundred blurted out,
before he thought. He took mental
credit to himself for not finishing the
sentence! x
“‘You can get tricycles now-a-days
for almost nothing," said B. C. slyly,
“and of course that is the only wheel
ou would think of at your time of
ife, Mr. Simmons!”
“Hum!” said Old Hundred, and
Hum!" said B. C.
Now don’t expect to be treated to a
loyers quarrel, Our sedate couple had
got far beyoud that dangerous stage of
courtship. . Yet as they parted some-
what grimly, “I'll show him !"” mutter-
ed B, C, and I'll show her!” muttered
Old Hundred. And that very after
noon the heart of the village bicycle
very
1 point,—calmly and merciful
{ Old Hundred’s habit to call on B.C. on
| Sunday evenings. At the beginning
' I should say, excellently well.
lady’s safety, and an order for a safety
forour doughty tailor.
That was on Monday, and our nar-
rative calmly skips a month at this
From time immemorial it had been
of their courtship the hand of the
feather-hearted tailor had quivered sus-
piciously in the operation of shaving
for this important occasion. In the
adjustment of his necktie his clumsi-
ness had been phenomenal—for a tail-
or. His steps up the broad walk
which lead to B. C.'s front door had
been noticeably unsteady. B. C. had
coyly sent the servant to usher him in
and often with an affectation of care-
less indifference, received him without
rising from her chair.
All that had long been changed, but
this particular night seemed to repeat
the experiences of old. Old Hundred’s
toilet was accomplished with blunder-
ing slowness. And why does the odor
of liniments follow the fiery lover from
his room? And why does he groan as
he bends to reach the gate-latch ? And
what has become of his brick, swinging
gait up the broad walk? And why
does not B. C. receive him, smiling, at
the door? Why does she remain in
that thick padded arm-chair, and
stretch her hand out to him so slowly ?
And what is the use of using cologne
where arnica has been?
“Miss Bennet,” said Old Hundred,
after a few wandering remarks—(he
always Miss-ed her)—*didn’t 1 notice
a bicycle standing in the hall-way”
“Why, Mr. Simmons! Didn't you
know that I could ride?’ asked
B. C, with a radiant smile.
“Ts it possible ! Why, we must have
a ride together I” cried the astonished
tailor.
“Together, Mr. Simmons! Can you
ride, too ?” inquired B. C., with real
amazement.
“Of course I can! That is—um—er
—in fact, I'm learning. And I'm get-
ting on well, excellently well, Mr.
Spoketire says, for a man of my—er—
But
how did you learn so soon!” Old Hun-
hred asked, admiringly.
“Well, I can’t say that I am through
with my apprenticeship yet,” confessed
B. C., with a charming blush, “but Mr.
Spoketire say he hardly has to hold
the machine at all, and he thinks I'm
doing better than most girls do who
are many years young—that is, that I
am doing very well. I need to be help-
ed into the saddle.”
“So do I,” admitted the tailor, hon-
estly.
“But once in, I have absolutely no
trouble, provided the road is smooth
and level, and Mr. Spoketire just keeps
his hands on the machine, to kind of
steady me, vou know,”
“I still find it a rather difficult task
to dismouni—without letting the wheel
fall, that is, Miss Bennet.
“Why, doyou? The last time Mr.
Spoketire helped me out he said I was
as graceful as a young girl. Mr.
Spoketire is so nice.”
“Miss Bennet, we must go out to-
gether next week, and as soon as possi-
ble! Or rather—about Saturday, eh?
We'll both be in better trim by then,
you know.”
“Without Mr. Spoketire, Mr. Sim-
mons ?”
“Ot course. What do you want
with that contemptible little dandy ?”
B. C. smiled happily at the tailor’s
manifest jealousy, yet smiled rather un-
easily and fearfully. However, she
agreed, with many a misgiving, and
the next Saturday afternoon was fixed
for the adventure.
Many a time during the following
week Old Hundred and B. C. regretted
their precipitancy, But B. C. was
clear grit, if she was approaching that
awful fortieth birthday, and the little
tailor had been roused by the Spoke-
tire hints to somewhat of the ardor a
lover should have.
Saturday dawned perversely fair,
with roads outrageously perfect, and
trundling their wheels through the vil-
lage out to the Middleton road. “We
will not ride through town,” each
eagerly agreed, “because people might
langh,” which was very true.
The Middleton road was an excellent
stretch for the purpose, in prime condi-
tion, and little frequented. Old Hun-
dred and B. C. walked out of sight of
the village chatting gayly, avoiding all
mention of the wheel. At length it be-
came impossible to deny that the right
spot had been reached, and with set
faces they placed their bicycles in po-
sition.
“You must help me on, you know,”
said B. C., with a rather pale face, but
brave withal, “Mr. Spoketire thinks it
is still necessary!”
“Oh, yes! to be sure!” stuttered the
little tailor, looking awkwardly around
for something to lean his bicycle
against, and at last laying it down
clumsily in the middle of tho road.
B. C. sprang into the saddle with a
feint of girhsh sprightliness, and the
poor tailor’s weak muscles were unable
to prevent a most portentous swaying
of the wheel.
“Mercy on us?’ shrieked B. C.,
“Don't let me take a header before 1
start! and oh, Mr. Simmons, I shall
be so grateful if yon only hold on to
the machine for a few steps, just until
I get started !”
“Certainly,” grunted. Old Hundred,
whose every muscle was taxed to hold
the wheel upright.
B. C. started, the perspiring tailor
tottering after, both hands clutching
the saddle spring, contributing so ma-
terially by his awkwardness to the dif-
ficulty of the steering that the agonized
maid in front soon cried back to him,
“That will do. Thanks. Now mount /
and catch up I” and away sailed’ B. C.
staggering all over the road.
Old Hundred trotted back to, his
wheel, picked it up, and glanced dis-
pairingly after the retreating safety.
How could he ever catch up? But
that query merged in a greater one. !
Could he ever mount? pel]
He made three attempts, each failure |
agent was made glad by an order for a
being hidden by a thicker cloud of dust,
and inscribed in a deeper rent. Bat
what were clothes to a tailor? There
was Miss Bennett's unsteady form just
disappearing over the edge of the first.
little hill. He must catch up with her
or be her laughing stock forever.
Luckily, a small boy came saunterin
by, to whom he gave ten cents, with
full directions, and was assisted off in
much better shape than poor B. C. had
been.
“Oh, that I were safe in my shop,
sitting cross-legged on the table!”
thought Old Hundred. ‘That bicycles
had never been invented! That Miss
Bennett were not so fond of them!
How smart she is! Who would have
thought it at her age!
But just here a rut upset the train of
his thoughts, and all but upset himself.
The small boy, left behind, was chuck-
ling with amusement. How close the
ditches seemed, and how fearfully deep.
The machine to the tailor’s apprehen-
sion, seemed insanely bent on plunging
over the brink. His arms were pulled
almost out of their sockets. Perspira-
tion blinded his eyes. More and more
wildly with each rut swayed the crazy
bicycle, and whirled Old Hundreds diz-
ey brain. He came to the brow of the
little hill, which seemed a fearful de-
elivity. Old Hundred clinched his
teeth and pushed back hard on the
pedals, throwing on the brake with all
his might. Just then he struck aloose
stone, lost control of the wheel, and
with closed eyes ran directly toward
the side, and upset. The little tailor
rolled over and over down the hillside
gully, and lay on top of his wheel at
the bottom.
Slowly Old Hundred rose, and found
to his intense relief that he had broken
no bones. To his equally intense re-
lief he discovered that he had broken
his bieyele. One pedal projected from
the crank at a most astonishing angle.
A gay laugh rang out a few yards
farther down the ditch, and lo! there
on its bowldery sat the stout-hearted B.
C.: at her feet lay her tricky wheel.
A happy light shown in her eyes.
“My wheel is broken ,” said she, poiut-
ing to the handle bar bent back some
forty degrees.
“And mine, too,” said the smiling
tailor, showing the disaffected pedal.
“Isn't it too bad! I'm afraid we'll
have to go home.”
With some toil they hoisted their
bicycles to the road again, and set out
for town, trundling them happily.
And then it was that the tailor
spoke these memorable words :
“Susy,” said he, and Miss Bennett's
brave old heart knew what was coming.
“Susy, youse how very unsteady
these bicycles are separate ?”
“Very,” said B. C., tremblingly.
“But suppose, Susy, one were to take
two bicycles, like yours and mine, and
put a couple of axles across, and a box
on top, with two seats and a cover,
what would that be, Susy ?"
“A family carriage,” said B. C. look-
ing downward with a smile.
“Yes, Susy, and it wouldn't tip over,
but run smoothly and safely, and
wouldn’t it be nice, Susy?” said Old
Hundred tried to trundle with one hand
that he might use the right arm for
another purpose, but it wouldn’t work.
“Wouldnt it be much nicer , Susy ?”
Yes, Susy thought it would.
Andso B. C. and Old Hundred walk-
ed happily back to town along that
Middleton road henceforth blessed to
them both, trundling the fateful bicy-
cles, which alone |had fbeen equal to
the ending of that long courtship.
Near town, Spoketire whirled smart-
ly up, and dismounted at sight of them.
“Had accidents, I see. Too bad.
However, I can soon straight that
out.”
“We have decided, Susy and I, Mr.
Spoketire,” said the bold tailor proud-
ly, “to sell our wheels, and we want
you to act as agent. We'll leave them
at your shop. You see, Mr. Spoketire
we have decided, Susy and [, to set up
a family carriage.” — Yankee Blade.
Brutes in a Biting Match.
Fashion Notes.
Pink is the favorite summer color.
Finger rings remain as popular as
ever. :
Diamond half-hoop rings continue in
favor. | i :
Very seasonable are the tennis’ bat
brooches.
A novelty in tie fasteners is a silver
duck’s head.
"The filbert furnishes a model for scarf-
pins and watch charms.
Diamond asps are worn as brooches
and as ornaments in the hair.
A new brooch imitates in gold, a-lit-
tle shoe, the rosette of which is formed
of pearls.
In spite of past predictions, the bor-
dered robe seems to have taken a fresh
lease of life.
A much admired lace pin consists ofa
row of three diamonds set between doub-
le rows of sapphires.
The latest cut in skirts has six pieces,
which, sloping sharply toward the belt,
give the desired flare at the bottom.
Fleurettes, not much larger than a
pea, are strewn in tones of amber, old
rose, crimson and blue over a black
background
A fashionable camail is made of al-
mond shell cloth, draped at the shoulder
and trimmed with a pleated pelerine,
mounted on an inset embroidered with
silver and gold.
Sleevesof black silk mull, jetted gal-
loons, as well as bands of black mara-
bout or ostrich feathers, still continue in
high favor for decorating light evening
gowns,
Slender garlands of flowers are placed
around the upper edge of half open bod-
ices for dressy evening wear, or are set
diagonally across the chest and border-
ing the extreme edge of the sheath skirt.
‘What could be prettier in the way of
a morning coiffure than a little cap of
gauze, with a plisse-edge falling over
the hair, while the plain side is gathered
into a puff crown, a coquettish bow of
velvet being perched upon the front.
‘The larger proportion of corsages con-
tinue to be made with the high, close
officer’s collar. There are, however, a
few that are cut a trifle low and are
finished about the neck with a ruche ot
tulle, silk muslin or crepe de chine.
Although the fastenings of dresses are
mostly invisible, many new buttons have
been brought out. Pearl and mother of
pearl are to be had in all colors, and
simulated jewels of every hue play
their part, also all kinds of jet and
much turquois.
It is quite the fashion now, if the arms
are pretty, to leave them bare from el-
bow to shoulder with evening dress, the
white gloves which have had such a
struggle for feminine favor fitting
smoothly to the arm and reaching no
higher than the elbow.
Velvet sleeves are still used, but those
of shot silk are newer. Jockey caps
finish the upper part of the sleeves of
the newest French gowns and bretelles,
epaulets and full puffs or gathered frills
that stand erect on the shoulder are seen
on the handsomest imported costumes.
———
They Had Screwed Up the Door.
During the war, when patriotism
and sentiment were at flood tide, the
rolls of the two houses of congress
were increased almost weekly to make
room for wounded soldiers who had
been discharged from the service.
Doorkeepers, messingers, and watchmen
were so thick around the capitol that
they were in each other’s way. Judge
Holman happened to be in the basement
one day, says the Washington Post
and endeavored to go through a door-
way, guarded by a one-legged veteran.
“Can’t get through there,” said the
guardian of the portal unconcernedly.
“I am a member of congress, said the
judge, quietly.
“I don’t know that that makes any
difference,” said the doorkeeper, ‘‘un-
less you came from a district where the
people can walk through wood. That
door is screwed up.”
“Then what are you doing here ?”
inquired Judge Holman, whose cur-
Pneumoma.
In talking about this fearful disease,
says a physician in the New York
World, I want to say at the outset that
I shall not advise you to doctor yourself
This is a too scrious matter for an ap-
‘prentice to handle ; its progress is so
rapid and so apt to end fatally that
you want the most skillful practitioner,
and you need him at the earliest possible
| ‘moment, after the disease manifests it-
self. I can, however, tell you some-
thing about pneumonia, so that you can
perhaps avoid it, and, after all, that is
better than the attention of a whole
school of physicians.
There are many conditions of the sys-
tem which are especially inviting to an
attack of pneumonia, such as gout,
gouty rheumatism, diabetes and certain
forms of fever, but above all, alcohol-
ism. The use of alcohol, or any sort of
liquor, seems to put the system in par-
ticularly receptive shape for pneumon-
ia, and fast livers and club men are fre-
quently victims.
Our climate is so changeable, too, that
people are prone to be carcless about
their dress and expose themselves most
recklessly.
As to symptoms of pneumonia, it usu-
ally makes ‘itself known by a severe
rigor orchill, a high state of tempera-
ture comes on immediately, face flushed
and severe headache, pains in the back,
and all the members seem sore and ach-
ing. The pulse is full and strong, appe-
tite all gone, there is nausea at the sto-
mach and sometimes vomiting.
By theend of the first day there is
pain in the side, although sometimes
this is absent or not severe enough to at-
tract much attention, and coughing
commences ; there is also now difficulty
in breathing, and the drawing of a long
breath will give acute pain. On ac-
count of this pain the breathing becomes
faster and faster, the respiration being
short, shallow and unsatisfactory. But
before this stage you must have sent for
the best medical help you can get and
then follow his directions to the letter.
If there is especial reason for failure in
a physician’s practice it is because his
instructions and directions are not car-
ried out.
——
A Boy Almost Swallowed by a Python.
At Judan, a village six miles from
Muka, a man and his son, aged from 10
to 12 years, were sleeping in their house
inside a mosquito curtain. They were
on the floor near the wall. Tn the mid-
dle of the night the father was awakened
by his son falling out. The lamp was
out, and the father passed his hand ov-
er and went to sleep again, thinking the
boy was dreaming.
Shortly afterward the child again
called out, saying that a crocodile was
taking him. This time the father,
thorougly aroused felt again, and found
that a snake had closed his jaws on the
boy’s head. He then pried open the
reptile’s mouth and released the Lead of
his son, but the beast drew the whole of
his body into the house and encircled
the body of the father. He was rescued
by the neighbors, who were attracted
by the cries for help of the terrified cou-
ple. The snake when killed was found
to be about fifteen feet long. The head
and forehead of the boy are encircled
with punctured wounds produced by the
python’s teeth.
Coffee Kills Disease Germs.
Coffee bas disinfectant properties.
Only recently a certain Dr. Luderitz has
studied 1n detail the germ-killing action
of coffee infusion. Using by no means
strong infusions, he showed that a cer-
tain harmless micrococus germ dies in
ten per cent. cofiee solution in from
three to five days. The bacillus of ty-
phoid fever perished in from one to three
days under coffee influence, and the
cholera bacillus in from three to four
hours. The germ of anthrax or splenix
fever died in from two to three hours;
but the spores of young forms of the lat-
ter germ perished in trom two to four
weeks orly.
These latter results speak well for the
power of coffee as a germicide, for an-
thrax germs and spores are by no means
easy to scotch or kill. Possibly after
SHAMOKIN, Pa., June 22.—In West
Coal township, early yesterday morning,
Patrick Ryan and James Levitt engag-
ed in a ten-round biting match, a con-
test that has rarely been equalled in bru-
tality by any struggle by human beings.
For some time there has been bad blood
between the men over the latter’s wife,
and when the principals met on Satur-
day night they concluded to have a
“prize” fight with bare knuckles.
It was midnight when they met, with
a couple hundred friends, on a dancing
pavilion: After fighting a few roands
the principals agreed to turn the strug-
gle into a biting match. Their hands
were strapped behind their backs and
time was called. Ryan dodged Levitt's
rush, and before the latter could recov-
er Ryan’s teeth had torn a piece of flesh
from his opponent’s cheek. Levitt im-
mediately retaliated by sinkirg his mo-
lars into Ryan's neck. Ryan sprang on
his half fainting opponent and delibér-
ately tore almost half of the lower jaw
out. ;
The spectators, not being able to
stand further brutality, intertered, stop-
ped the fight and both ‘men were’ car-
ried home. Hoidw
A Remarkable Phenomenon.
On Thursday, March 19, 1719, there
appeared at London, about 8 o’clock “at
night, a “sudden great light moving af-
ter the manner but more slowly than. a
falling star. It started from a Poin be-
low Orion's belt, then lying on tne south-
west, and went upward instead of down-
ward like a falling star: Its size acord-
ing to the testimony off, numerous. ob-
servers in Spain, France, Ircland, Hol-
Iand and in some parts of Germany, as
well as those who saw it in London and
all over England, was about. that; of a
full moon. It was of : whitish color,
with an eye in the centre as blue as’ the
azure portion of a Jun'e’sky after athunt
deristorm. © It wentstraight upward in
its course until out (of , sight, leaving a
track of fiery red sparks in its course.”
——That tired feeling now so often
heard of is entirely overcome by Hood’s
Sarsaparilla, which gives mental and
bodily strength. >
riosity was naturally excited.
“I’m here for $3.20 a day. There's
a fellow from the Sixth Pennsylvania
cavalry watching the other side of it,
and mebbe he can tell you more than
T'ean.”
By a circuitous route the judge,
through committee rooms, reached the
other side of the door. Sure enough
there sat another veteran leisurely
reading a newspaper. He was equally
frank in announcing that the door was
screwed.
“Yousee,” he said by way of ex-
planation, “both me and my partner
are subject to rheumatiz since we've
been 1n the army and we screwed up
this door so we wouldn’t be in the
draught.”
Judge Holman thought that if the
government was paying two men $3.20
aday each for watching a door that
could not be opened it was time that
somebody proposed retrenchment. He
threw himself into the breach, secured
areduction in the house roll and ever
since has been the determined enemy of
sinecures and extra salaries.
Fifteen Thousand Dollars !
The New York Daily News prints
this: ¢A gentleman whom we know to
be perfectly responsible offers through
the News to make the following wa-
gers :
Five thousand dollars that no one
can name the nominee of the next dem-
ocratic national convention for presi-
dent.
Five thousand dollars that the nomi-
nee of that convention will be the next
president of the United States.
Five thousand dollars that the nom-
ine of that convention will carry the
state of New York, whoever he may be.
‘Either of these bets may be, taken
separately orin sums of one thousand’
dollars if desired. This offer will remain
open until July 15, 1891.
Honors Easy.—Mrs. Wedsoon (pout-
ingly)--Mrs. Oldwife next door has had !
two new dresses to my one.
"Mr. Wedsoon (spouse No. 2)—Yes,
my dear, but you've had two new hus-
bands to her one.— New York Weekly.
ternally may be utilized as a remedy for
germ-produced diseases. As it is, its
virtues as a reviver and “pick-me-up”
have long been appreciated outside the
medical world.
RASPBERRY AND CURRANT TART.—
Halt pint of raspberries, one and one-
half pints currants, three tablespoonfuls
of sugar, one-half pound butter, one-
half pound flour, cold water, the yelk of
one egg. Make some puff paste rs fol-
lows : Rub two ounces of butter into
the flour, then mix with cold water and
egg; after it has stood a short time roll
out the remainder of the butterin a
sheet and lay it on the paste, give the
paste three turns to work in the butter ;
strip the currants from the stalks, put in
a dish with the raspberries, placing an
inverted cupin the centre, and the su-
gar, cover with paste and bakein a good
oven, and when done sift sugar over.
Taree WAYs or Purring It.—Har-
ry came in from his play roaring like a
little bull of Bashan, He cries so often
and so easily that little anxiety is felt
when he is heard screeching his hard-
est. On ‘this occasion his mother
said : :
“Well, well, Harry, what now ?”
“Oh, I have skint my knee.”
¢Skint it, Harry ?”
“Oh, yes, yes | T was walking along
and I fell down, and when I got up my
knee was all skan up ! Just see how it
is skinded !”
HE SAT 100 FAR AWAY. --Mr. Pros-
ay (treating his best girl to a ride) —You
know Smith? He's too liberal. The
trouble with hin is that he’s not close
enough for his own good.
Miss Spooney- -That’s just your fault,
dear. You’re not close enough your-
self. :
And Prosey suddenly became silent,
wondering what she meant.— Rider and
Driver TEM ¥
a —————T
——1In France successtul experiments
| have been made.with sulphate of iron
; and with sulphate of copper, lime, and
| wateras a spray in preventing potato
disease.
these revelations coffee administered in- |} A 3
practice of t
French Notions of America.
Exploits of Seated Bull Faithfully De--
scribed by a Paris Periodical.
The notion that the United States is
a country principally inhabited by peo-
ple of Indian race still clings to a
great many Enropeans, and even some
of those who are educated. The most
singular misapprehensions concerning
the Indians and the part of the country
they occupy are continually appearing
in the newspapers in Europe. A French
periodical called Science Pour Tous
(Science for All) which declares its
aim to be the enlightenment ot the
public, recently published the following
absurb article :
“We have received some interesting
information concerning the incidents
which] preceded the recent rising in
arms of the Indians in the west, and
one of the first engagements.
“The Seated Bull, their chieftain,
having vesolved to make known the
fact that the Indians had not received.
their annuities and certain promised
munitions, betook himself to the capitol
at Washington.
“There he laid before the president.
of the legislative body his complaints
of the governmental “agents, who he
declared had stolen what was the ln-
dians’ due.
“He was informed that his declara-
tions would be taken under considera-
tion, and he departed. But the promise
having remained without performance,
the Seated Bull once more came to the
capitol.
“This time in the midst of the as-
semblage, the Seated Bull did not utter
a word, but drew his tomahawk and
dealt with it a terrible blow upon the
marble table which was before him.
The table was broken in two, and the
chief’s tomahawk buried itseif in the
floor beneath.
“It was the token of the chief’s de-
claration of war.
‘The Seated Bull then left the cap-
itol without any one daring to lay a
hand upon him. Returning to his
canoe, which he had tied to one of the
piers of the great bridge “across the
Potomac river, he paddled rapidly back
to his own territory.”
fe —
All on Account of a Hen.
‘Twas only a little hen, with a lopped
comb and a flushed face, that broke up
the pastorate of an able Maine parson.
She used to sneak under the fence, you
known, just the way hens do always,
tip-toe across the grass border with tie
minuet step and then the elder’s garden
bad to take it. Of course it was aggra-
vating. Did you ever watch a hen at
this job ?
She trips carelessly into the middle of
the garden bed ; she cocks her head ; a
careless look comes into her eye; she
balances partners with a flip and a scrape
to the right, a flirt and a kick to the left,
a double shuffle and a grand skirt dance
flourish. Then she looks for grub.s
‘Well, that parson saw the whole thing
for days; same hen, same gestures, and
she came in miraculously, astonishingly,
through a new hole every day. Then
came at length wrath and a girding of
the loins; a gun,bang !—dead hen float-
ing upon the placid breast of a river
eddy. The current washed the corpse
upon the neighbor’s strand and then the
neighborhood heard the tale. The
atrocity was fanned vigorously and the
poor parson found that he was not to be
an assassin and the leader of the parish
at the same time. Therefore his fare-
well sermon.
No Brimstone Now.
=A story is told of a veteran member of
the bar, which is one of the sort of
stories that one does not hear every
week or every month. The hero of the
story is a very old gentleman ; he has
passed the fourscore, and though he has
the reputation of having had a some-
what animated career, and to have
scorned very few of the pleasures of life,
he has as yet made no motion toward
carrying his case up to a higher court.
Not long ago a younger lawyer, in
conversing with the old gentleman, sug-
gested that a great many changes must
have taken place since he began the
a
“Yes, yes,” said the old gentleman ;
‘a great many wonderful changes have
taken place in my lifetime. Why, the
infernal regions have cooled down a
great deal since I was born.”
The young lawyer not long after-
ward, repeated this remark to another
veteran member of the same bar, who
knew the first old gentleman’s peculiari-
ties and weakness very well.
“Did he say that ?’” asked the second
veteran.
“He did,” said the young man.
“Well, now I understand ; that's
what he’s been waiting for all these
years !”’
A AA ——————
A MISTAKE SOMEWHERE.—A man
with a stick and bundle and foreign cut
clothes was viewing the sights in the
Battery yesterday forenoon when he at-
tracted the attention of two other strang-
ers, one of whom said :
“There’s a chap just landed from Nor-
way.’
“J think he’s a Finn,” replied the
other.
“Well, I'll soon find out.
Johnny, give us a pointer.”
“That I will, soir !”’ came the prompt
reply. “If either of yez is aching for a
sore head just shpake the worud and I'm
the bye as kin give it to yez wid nate-
ness and dispatch 1”
Hello !
THAT SILLY CHILD.—“Your dear
little boy paid me such a pretty cempli-
ment; he said I looked real handsome,”
said Mrs. Hostetter to Mrs. Lydia Pink-_
ham.
“Did he say that?”
“Indeed he did, the little angel.”
“Qh, he is such a silly child. Some-
times I think he has not got good sense,’
responded the mother, and now they
have quit swapping bangs when they go
out shopping.— Texas Siftings.
——The citizens of Athens, Ga., dbe-
seech their council to pass an ordinance
for the muzzling of cats. The animals
are too noisy o’ nights.
Every dollar’ of the Billion came
out of the earnings of the men who
worl.