tic Mata
~ Bellefonte, Pa., March 20, 1891.
THE LITTLE BIRD TELLS.
it's strange how little boy’s mothers
Can find it all out as they do,
If a fellow does anything naughty
Or says anything that’s not true.
They'll look at you just for a moment
Till your heart in your bosom swells,
And then they know all about it—
For a little bird tells!
Now, where the little bird comes from,
Or where the littie bird goes,
If he’s covered with beautiful plumage,
Or black as the king of the crows;
If his voice is as hoarse as the raven’s,
Or clear as the ringing bells,
1 know not; but this I am sure of—
A little bird tells!
The moment you think a thing wicked,
The moment you do a thing bad,
Or angry, or sullen, or hateful,
Get ugly, or stupid, or mad,
Or tease a ‘lear brother or sister—
That instant your sentence he knells,
And the whole to mamma in a minute
That little bird tells.
You may be in the depths of the closet,
Where nobody sees but a mouse;
You may be all alone in the cellar,
You may be on the top of the house;
You may be in the dark and the silence,
Or out in the woods or the dells—
No. matter! Wherever it happens,
The little bird telts!
And the only contrivance to stop him
Is just to be sure what to say —
Sure of vear facts and your fancies,
Sure of your work and your play;
Be honest, be brave and be kindly,
Be gentie and loving as well,
And then you can laugh at the stories
The little bird tells!
— Atlantic Constifmtion.
A RASH ACT.
‘Se you've been bounced?” said
Mrs. Popover.
Marian Milman winced at the inele-
gant word ; but she understood enough
of the Popover style of dialect to know
that no harm was intended. Mrs, Pop-
over did rot gauge her phraseology by
“Webster's Unabridged,” but she was
a good soul, nevertheless.
“Yes,” she answered, meekly; “I've
been discharged.”
Mrs. Popover was stout and short,
with no visible waist, a plack lace cap
on the side of her head, and her feet
thrust into carpet slippers.
Miss Milman wasslight and grace-
ful, with ruddy browa hair and plead-
ing hazel eyes, and looked every inch
the lady in her shabby mourning
“Pity, ain't it? said Mrs. Popover.
“This time 0’ year, too!”
“Yes,” sighed Marian; “but I am
net the only sufferer. Thirty other
girls have gone, too. Business ‘is so
dull after the holidays. Mr. Meredith
says we shall be re-engaged when the
state of trade warrants it. Bat I
heven’t much hope.”
“And what ye goin’ todo now?” ask-
ed Mrs. Popover.
Marian drew a long breath,
“I don't know,” said she, piteously.
Just then the door opened, and a
blooming young girl came in, with a
satchel in her hand.
Is this Mrs. Popover's?” she said.
“Does Miss Milman— Oh, Marian,
you dear thing, I've found you at last!
Oh, how glad [ am to see you!”
Marian gave a little gasp.
“Juliet Powers!” she cried.
“Yes, it's 11” beamed Juliet. “I
got tired teaching school down in Hol-
breok Hollow, and tire trustees were
soexacting, and the childrenso dread-
ful, that | made np my mind to come
to you and see it I couldn't get some-
thing to do in the city.”
“Well, I declare!” said Mrs. Pop-
over. ‘Here’s Miss Marian herself
just.been throwed out 6’ business. I'd
like to know how she’s to help any-
body else 2"
Marian gave the good soul an ap-
pealing glance.
“I will do the best I can,” said she.
Aud Juliet, an apple-faced, sanguine
natured young country lass, nestled
close up to her.
“I knew you would kelp me,” said
she, “becanse yon know all about the
city. And oh, Marian, dear, I'm so
tired and so hungry 1”
And thus Marian Milman became
charged with the responsibility of an-
other beside herself. And the days
went by, and situations were harder
than ever to obtain, and the little com-
mon purse was exhausted, and Mrs.
Popover's account became larger than
ever for the rent of the hack bed-reom,
with its hideous green wall paper, and
its diepiriting outlook over the roofs
and smoky chimney stacks.
“Marian,” said Juliet, “what are we
to do?’
She had come in tired and weary af:
ter a long day’s work at the old busi-
ness of looking for employment.
Marian sat gazing sorrowfull y at .a
clumsy parce! that lay on the ta ble be-
fore her. ?
“They have sent back my poor little
screens and plaques unsold,” said she
“with a polite note intimating that the
market for that sort of thing is over-
stocked.”
“Oh, Marian! And you worked so
hard at them!" with a quick bust of |
| dan’s face.
sympathy.
“The more foel I! To tell you the
truth, Juliet,” said Marian, with a
foreed smile, “I begin to think that
the market for everything is overstock-
ed—life included.”
Juliet threw both her arms around
the slight young figure.
“Darling, you're tired and discour-
aged,” said she. “You'll feel better
after dinner,”
“Bat, Juliet, there ig no dinner."
Juliet threw open the cupboard
doors, and gave one exhaustive glance
around its empty shelves. There were
the two chiaa plates, the two cups and
saucers, the neat knives and forks, the
pewter spoons, the nine-cent pepper
and salts—but that was all.
“Pll go out and buy something,”
said she, cheerfully—“a neck of mut-
ton to boil up for soup, or an end-piece
of corned beef."
“You can’t make bricks without
straw,” said Marian, sadly, “nor buy
soup-meat without money. At least
I’ve hever been able to do it.”
“Is the money all gone, Marian?"
' before it has time to chill,
“All but five dirty copper cents, Ju-
liet.”
Juliet clicked her tongue
against the roof of her mouth.
“Mrs. Popover will trust us for a few
of yesterday’s rolls or a loaf of stale
bread,” she suggested,icheerfully.
“No, Juliet,” said Miss Milman, re-
solutely, “We are already too much
in Mrs. Popover's debt. I will ask
no more favors from her.”
“Must we starve?’ resentfully de-
manded Juliet.
+1 would rather starve than sink in-
to the quicksands of debt,” Marian
firmly answerd.
Juliet’s cheeks flushed ; she bit her
lip.
KThere is a pawnbroker on Sixth
avenue,” said she. “And | have got
softly
my mother’s old garnet ring and a |
father |
mosaic scarf-pin which my
brought from Florence when he was a
sea captain. I'll go and see what I
can do.”
“But—a pawnhroker I” sobbed Ma-
rian. “Oh, Juliet, what are we com-
ing to?”
“No worse than many another has |
come to,” said Juliet. “Cheer up,
Marian! Remember that it's always
darkest just before daylight.”
And she kissed the pale girl and
went cheerfully out.
The garnet ring and the mosaic
scarf-pin kept them for a week. Still
they were seeking for work—still the
same old answer was returned, For
every vacant place there wes at least a
score of applicants.
They sought from place to place;
they traversed street after street, but in
vain. And on adreary February night
when the snow was turning to discolor-
ed slush on the pavements and a dis-
mal fog hung over the streets, Marian
looked sadly up into her friend's face.
“The soles of my shoes are worn in
holes, Juliet,” said she. “My feet are
soaking wet, and my head aches, and
—1I don’t think I can go out any more.
It’s no use. I think heaven has for-
gotten us.”
Juliet, stronger and more courage-
ous, brewed her friend a cup of weak
tea, and produced two soda crackers
from the cupboard.
“Eat and drink, Marian, and you
will feel better;” said she. “I haye
heard of a woman who wants a book-
keeper in her buisness, and I must go
there at once, this very evening, ‘before
any one else has a chance to crowd me
out.”
“You won't get the place, Juliet.”’
“How do you know ?'" cheerily.
“I don’t know it. I feel it.” :
“Well, you'll see, Eat and drink, I
say, dear. Don't sit so mournfully
there.”
But when Juliet was gone, Marian
rose and put the soda crackers back
into the cupboard.
“She thought I didn’t know they
were the two last,” said she, “Juliet
was always a hearty eater. She is not
go good at starving as I am. But the
end’s come at last I”
She took from the mantle a little vial
ot dark liquid, labeled “Laudanum”
(Juliet had ague in the face a few days
ago, and had used a little of it,) and
looked at it questioningly.
“I hope it isn’t very wrong,” she
murmured; “but—but it must be so
hard to die by inches! Harder still
to go to the poorhouse on Blackwell's
Island! Oh, no, I could net endure
that!”
And removing the cork, she drank
the bitter draught.
Sure'y this would be a dose strong
enough to silence all the pangs and
woes of a dozen poor souls! :
“Will it be painful 2” she asked ber-
self, nestling down among the pillows
of her bed. *Becanse I have not much
| strength to endure.”
No, it was not painful. Heaven be
thanked for that!
A sweet drowsiness, like the breath
of poppies, overspread her being, and
with a half-murmured prayer on her
lips, Marian drifted into slumber.
* ® oa * %
“Bidn’t I tell you it was always
darkest before daylight? Wake up,
Marian—wake and rejoice with me!”
Through a sort of cloud, Marian
saw Juliet'’s radiant face. She strug-
gled into a sitting posture, and tried to
remember what had passed.
Wasat true? or was it only a dream?
“Who do you think the woman was
who wanted a book-keeper? Why,
my mother’s dearest school friend! She
knew my name at once, and she says
she should have known me anywhere
from my resemblance of mother. She
isin the perfumery business—oh, such
a nice big store!—and she manages it
all herself. And I am to be book-
keeper, with a nice salary, and you are
to have a good place there, too—right
away, Marian, dear! And we can pay
good Mrs. Popover now, and live like
Christians again; and I've brought
home such a nice little supper of cold
roast chicken, and hot potatoes, and a
pitcher of smoking coffee. A real
treat, Marian. Rouse up, dear, and
enjoy it.”
A faint, sad smile flickered into Mar-
Had all the sunshine come, now that
it was too late? And yet, how .good
the little feast looked—how deliciously
fragrant was the coffee.
With a feeble gesture, she pointed to
the little vial on the mantle, Juliet
would know what she meant.
“Why,” cried the girl, “where is all
my cough medicine? I got the bottle
filled only yesterday, for I knew that
1 kept you awake, conghing at night.
Mrs. Popover gave me some out of the
children’s bottle; she’s such a kind
old woman. Laudannm? Oh, yes, I
know that’s what the label says, but
the vial got tipped over long ago, and
all the laudrnum leaked out! Never
mind, dear—we can easily get more
now, Weare not beggars any longes.
Here, sit up. Drink this hot coffee
And eat
the chicken—and taste this dear little
teeny glass of currant jelly, You see
I'm getting extravagant, but we have
been starved so long.”
“What a coward I have have!” said
He has saved me from my own rash
will—saved me to begin life anew—
saved me for new strength and hope!
Oh, I never, never will abandon myself
to despair again, no matter how dark
the future seems!” :
And Juliet never khew how near
Marian had come to the solution of all
life's problems. Ic was a secret be-
tween herself and heaven !—Saturday
Night.
Generat Sherman’s Trained Eye.
An interesting story of General Sher-
man is told by a park guard. When he
was last in this city he was riding along
geant of the guard riding toward him.
“That man isan old cavalryman,” said
the general, and when he got opposite
to him he was saluted by the sergeant in
a military manner:
“Halt, sergeant,’ said the general.
The latter stopped and saluted.
“You are an old soldier, a cavalry-
man, sergeant,” said Sherman.
“Yes, General, of the Seventh Caval-
ry : I served twelve yearsafter the war.”
Ah ! then you know of Custer and
Major Reno 7”?
“I was one of the fortunate ones of
that command to escape and be rescued
by Terry.”
Sherman smiled. When the old sol-
dier told again the tale of the massacre.
At the conclusion General Sherman
said :
“Sergeant, let me shake hands with
you ; you are a brave man.’’ :
“I never make a mistake,” added the
general as he drove on. ‘A civilian
never rides like that, and the salute set-
tled all doubts.”
Big Crop From Two Kernels of Corn.
A Kansas paper says the entire sup-
ply of Jerusalem corn in the State came
from two kernels. These produced the
seed from which five bushels were raised
the following season, and the next crop
amounted to 500 bushels,
The plant grows to the height of about
three feet, and resemble broom corn or
sorghum. The grainis white and an-
swers every purpose which is served by
Indian corn. It makes sweeterand bet-
ter bread, and is delicious when boiled,
after the manner of oatmeal. In wet
weather 1t runs to stalks and grows six
feet high, without any grain to speak of
1t produces best when the season is
dry, and after the plant gets a start it is
said to be absolutely impervious to the
influence of drought and hot winds. The
farmers of Western Kansas are prepar-
ing to engage in its culture next season
to a large extent.
A Daring Argument,
A quick witted and daring western law-
yer once saved a guiity client fron sure
conviction on a charge of poisoning It
was proved that the poisoning had been
done by means of certain cakes, a por-
tion of which was produced in court.
When the counsel for the prisoner had
finished his speech he said: “And these
gentlemen of the jury are some of the
alleged poisoned cakes. We declare to
you, gentlemen of the jury, that they
are not poisoned cakes. They are as
harmless cakes as ever were made, and
in order, gentlemen of the jury, to show
you that these cakes are not poisoned, I
will eat one of them right hers in your
presence.”
And he did eat one. He took good
care, however, to leave the room at the
earliest opportunity, and to make a bee
line for an adjoining room, where he
had an emetic in readiness and an anti
dote. But the jury never heard about
the emetic or antidote until the lawyer's
client had been acquitted.
rn coe ——
A Well That Flows Gold.
There is a wonderful well down in
Del Norte. It is an artesian well with
an abundant flow of pure water suffi-
cient to irrigate a considerable body of
land. That would be enough for any-
one but a San Luis man, but this is
mineral water. It is effervescent, very
palatable and extremely healthful.
Nor is this all; the force of the water
brings up from the depths an occasional
lump of native silver or a gold nugget.
The frugal farmer has placed a sack of
wire netting over the mouth of the well
to catch the metal and prevent it from
choking the cows. Local scientists
claim that at a great distance down and
under an enormous pressure the water is
washing away a ledge of rock whose
softer parts go into solution and give the
water 1ts mineral qualities, but whose
gold and silver, not being dissolved, are
brought to the surface in a metallic
state.
a ————————
Tre Expense Was IMMATERIAL. —I
am not permitted to give my authority
for this anecdote, but it is true. A wo-
man who is not unknown in fashion-
able society, where she reigns by right
of riches over a little queendom of loy-
al admirers and admiresses, had an af-
fection of the throat, but was not too
ill to see her physician. After making
an examination he said: “Madam, I
shail have to touch two or three of the
effected spots with nitrate of silver.”
“Oh, doctor, please don’t do that,”
she said. “Use nitrate of gold; the
expense is immaterial." —San Francis
co Eraminer.
Nor tue TRUE BANANA.—The true
eating banana, or “madura,” issaid to
be unknown in northern countries, the
varieties we import being simply
those which are used in the land of their
growth for cooking purposes. ‘Garden
and Forest” states that many varieties of
the madura are recognized. each of
which is distinct in flavor. The smaller
are the more delicious ; and the small-
est of all, the so-called “lady-finger ban-
ana,” with a skin hardly thicker than
paper, is the most highly prized. Green
cooking bananas are peeled and roasted
in the ashes, and eaten with butter ;
partially ripe ones are boiled for a few
minutes with the skin on, and eaten
with syrup or honey; and ripe ones are
sliced lengthwise and fried in olive oil
or butter.
J —
—The Kansas Alliance Legislature
is disappointed at the little useful work
work it has accomplishhed,and has three |
investigation a-foot that will cost the
Marian to herself, #Oh,thank God that ' State $150,000.
) : | commerce 1ts
‘the Wissahickon when he saw the ser- |
Ancient Ships.
Some of Them in Size and Luzury Com-
pared Favorably with Our Own.
We moderns are justly proud of the
wonderful and magnificent specimens
of naval architecture that crowd the
great ports of the world. If there is
anything new under the sun, a first-
class ocean steamer, it is believed, is
that rarity. In our conceit we recall
only the galleys and triremes of the an-
cients, thut scarce ever ventuced beyond
the coast line, and the small barks in
which Columbus and those that follow-
ed him conquered a new world and gave
greatest field. But the
ancients built many good sized crafts
and made luxury a study on some of
them. That much controverted craft,
the ark, is an example of bigness. Her
tonnage is estimated at about 15,000
tons, smaller, it is true, than that of the
Great Eastern. No less an authority
than Lindsay thinks that she was sim-
ply & raft of stupendous size, having
upon it a structure resembling a huge
warehouse. As no means of propulsion
were necessary, this description may be
correct. The cargo, however, was unique
and probably the largest and most valu-
able ever carried. The description of
the ark, as given in the Scriptures,
makes the vessel about 450 feet in length,
seventy-five feet in breadth and forty-
five feet in depth, proportions similar to
those now in use to-day for great vessels.
But as the agnosticis not sure that
this life boat of the human race ever
existed, and as the materialist is sure she
never was built, let us take for example
of big ancient vessels some other craft
vouched for upon the authority of pro-
fane and not sacred writers. The Egyp-
tians, fond of large things and big di-
mensions, made the big tonnage vessels
of ancient times. Ptolemy (Philopator)
would have appreciated the Great East-
ern. He was fond of building big
boats. One of these is said to have been
420 fect long, 57 feet broad and
72 feet deep from the highest point
of the stern. This vessel had four
rudders, or what some would call steer-
ing oars, as they were not fastened,
each 45 feet long. She carried 4,000
rowers, besides 8,000 marines, a large
Lody of servants under her decks, and
stores and provisions. Her oars were
fifty-seven feet long, and the handles
were weighted with lead. There were
2,000 rowers on a side, and it is suppos-
ed that these were divided into five
banks. That this extraordinary vessel
ever put to sea is doubted, but that she
was launched and used at times, if only
for display, several historians are agreed.
Another “ship,” the Thalamegus, built
for one of the Ptolemies, is said to have
heen 300 feet long, 40 feet broad and 60
feet deep. This was a far mcre magnifi-
cent vessel than any previous one. An
Alexandrian historian, Catlixenus, in
describing her, speaks of her having
colonnades, marble stairs and gardens,
Another great vessel, historical by
reason of its size,was one built by Hiero,
King of Syracuse. Her dimensions are
estimated to be large from the descrip-
tion of her cargo and the number of her
decks and houses. She is supposed to
have been sheathed with lead, and ac-
complished at least one successful voy-
age. A full description of her would
read somewhat like that of one of our
Long Island sound or Hudson river
steamboats. She haa three entrances,
the lowest leading to the hold, the sec-
ond to the eating rooms and the third
appropriated to the soldiers, There
were thirty rooms, each having four
couckes, for the soldiers; there w re fif-
teen couches in the sailors’ supper-room,
and there were three more cabins, each
having three couches. The floors of
all these rooms were laid in stone mosiac
work. There was also a temple of cy-
press inlaid with ivory and dedicated to
Venus. The mainmast was composed
of a single tree, and the vessel carried
four wooden and eight iron anchors. As
a freight carrier she would rival the
largest of our ocean tramps. It is re-
corded that one or two of the launches
belonging to her would carry about
eighty tons. This vessel is said to have
carried ‘sixty thousand measures of
corn, ten thousand jars of Sicilian salt
fish, twenty thousand talents’ weight of
wool, and of other cargo twenty thous-
and talents, all of which was in addition
to the provision required for the crew.”
These are the notably big vessels of
ancient times, but the supposition is
that as rulers, whether King or people,
were as emulous in those days as in
these, other big craft were also built.
From the foregoing description the
thought is suggested that the first de-
signers of our own river steamboats may
have heard of the Egyptian and Syra-
cusan vessels and taken a hint from
them in building floating palaces.—
Maritime Register.
——Sister Lizzie was to be married
in a few months and was putting in the
interval of leisure by experimenting in
the cooking line. Little John was go-
ing to bed, and went through his usual
prayers up to the point of saying :
“Give us this day our daily bread,”
when some depressing memory struck
him, and headded: “But don’t let our
Lizzie bake it.”
Suspicious. — First Anarchist—I dells
you, dot Hoofnagel vas not von of us.
He vas a spy.
Second Anarchist—I dink not. He
make some good talk for the verkinman
alretty.
First Anarchist --Yah, dot vas so.
His talk vas all right, but be gets him
so busy talking dot he forgets to drink
his beer.
—— Henry (preparing for the country)
—4“There ought to be room in one of
the trunks for my things. I got you
six.” Considerate Wife—“You forget,
dear, that my six dresses take a trunk
each. But I did nat forget you. Here
13 a nice little satchsl you can have all
to yourself.
“How does i- happen that there
are so many old maids among the school
teachers?” asked a reporter of a teacher
the other day. ‘Because school teachers
are, as a rule, women of sense; and no
sensible woman will give up a $60 psi-
tion for a $10 man,” was the reply.
Itseems not unlikely that electric-
ity will be applied to smelting furnaces
in the near future.
The Cheerful Man.
How He Gets His Wrongs Redressed,
and Makes the Best of Life.
Does any one wrong the cheerful
man? He quickly sets about getting
his wrongs redressed in what has been
described as the best way—namely by
forgetting all about it.
frequently reminds himszlf that our
happiness depends upon the treatment
of what we have and not of what we
have not. And of what he has, he
takes care, as far as in himlies ; instead
presently it may be, like the dog in the | 55 ;
I y nay veo » to every citizen, says a recent writer,
fable, losing the substance while follow-
ing the shadow. Moreover, he appar-
ently never expects things to go togeth-
er smoothly in this up and down world;
and often as he stumbles or falls, and
quickly picks himself up again, he mer-
rily quotes: .
A slip— a knoek—slow progress here—
And there a caeerful run;
‘Tis zig-~az now, and then a jump,
And so the work is done.
“Cheerfulness,”” say Mr. Smiles in his
“Self-Help,” gives elasticity to the spir-
it. Specters fly before it; difficulties
cause no dispair, for they are encounter-
ed with hope ; and the mind- acquires
that happy disposition to improve op-
portunities which rarely fails of suc-
cess.” And the cheerful man thinks,
with the same author, “that we make
the best of life, or we may make the
worst of it, and that it depends very
much upon ourselves whether we ex-
tract joy or misery from it.” And then
the children. We may not pass over
unnoticed the affection which they in-
variably display for the cheerful man.
From him they fear no frowns, no
harsh rebuke. “Poor little ones,” he
says, “God knows how soon they will
have cares to fret them ; he cannot wish
us to come between them and their little
happiness now.”
rt ————
——If all the disease germs which are
abroad in the atmosphere were to find
the conditions which are essential to
their development,the human race would
be exterminated before the millennium
was due. The chief of the micrographical
department of the Paris observatory has
ditcovered that the number of disease
gerrus of one kind or another contained
in a cubic metre of the air of the French
capitol isin winter 7000,in May 12,000,in
June 35,000,in August 23,000, in Octo-
ber, 14,000, and in November 8000, and
it cannot be supposed that the atmos-
phere in other large cities is much less
tainted than itis in Paris, or that the
air even of country districts is wholly
uncontaminated.
The Hungarian Government is a
believer in the kindergarten system as
one remedy for existing social evils, A
bill drawn up by the Minister of HEdu-
cation is now before the Hungarian Par-
liament, It provides for the establish-
ments of kindergartens in every one of
the 12,000 communities. It makes at-
tendance between the ages of three and
six compulsory, unless private govern-
esses are employed. The compulsory
feature is explained by the great mor-
tality of the children in Hungary which
is said to result from want of supervision
becau e the parents work in factories.
wen
——1In digging a cellar in Montville
Center, six miles southwest of Norwich,
Conn., a few days azo, David A. and S.
M. Johnson unearthed a solid ball of
snakes five feat beneath the surface ot
the ground. They killed the serpents
as the ball slowly unwound itselt. They
got forty-three black and two milk
snakes, whose bodies just filled a bushel
basket. The snakes were from three to
six feet long.
Waar WiLL PrevENT BUNTONS. —
Easy shoes with wide soles and low heels
will be found the most effectual preven-
tive of bunions on the feet. Where
they exist, thev can be palliated by
spreading thickly with cold cream or
some healing salve, upon going to bed.
A round piece of court-y laster over the
unguent will keep it in place and save
soilng the bed-clothes.
Although nearly every European
Government has grabbed a slice of Afri-
ca, that continent is so large that every
nation on earth can gobble a chunk of
territory as large as the State of Texas,
and there will then be left plenty of
land to support a negro population of
100,000,000. No fear of any one taking
too much of the dark continent.
——Hditor (to young assistant)—¢Mr.
Greathead, T want to map out a line of
journalistic study for you!” Young
assistant (dubiously)—“I am pretty
weil up in newspaper stuff, as it is, sir.”
Editor—“I am aware of that, Mr.
Greathead ; but you know too much. I
would suggest that you devote one hour
each day to forgetting something.”
A huge squid or cuttlefish stranded
itself on the beach at Island Cove, New-
foundland, a few days ago. Its extreme
length was 32 feet, the tentacles alone
measuring 21 feet; the body was much
longer than that of an ordinary horse,
and the pelt three inches in thickness.
It was cut up before being removed.
A Corrrcr DrAGNosiS.—Young
physician to patient—Your dypepsia
comes, I think, sir, from too high liv-
ing. You are a very high liver, are you
not?’ :
Potient—Yes, sir: I live on the top
floor of a New York flat.”
——Visitor—Tsn’t your mother afraid
Willie, of catching cold in those slip-
ers ?
Willie—Huh, T guess you don’t know
them slippers! Ma uses them to warm
the whole family with.
Caller — Pease, sir, the master, Deacon
" Skinflint, died last night and the Miss us
wants to know if you will preside at the
funeral ?
Long Suffering Pastor— Yes, certain-
ly, with pleasure.
' ——Boy—Say, Mister, please give me
five cents’ worth of castor oil and
give me very short measure, too.”
Druggist—Short measure? Why?
Boy--"Cos I've got to take it myself.
REET i
Domestic Concerns.
.
The outer skins of onions make a very
preity yellow dye for silk or woolen ;
| set with alam.
Uncover your soup kettle as hittle ag
you conveniently can while iv is boiling
and then only to skim the sub-tance
that rises to the surface.
Also he very |
When silver spoons become discolored
| fromeggs scour them with fine table
salt. This will remove the discoloration
i which 1s caused by the sulphur iu the
egg, and will not scratch or wear the
! ) Rratinm | silver.
of neglecting it in fooling and useless |
longings after what he has not, and so,
Well-constructed and properly-main-
tained roads are of importance and value
and much more so than many affairs
that are absorbing the attention of the
people in their homes, public meetings,
and legislative balis. The annual loss
though badly-kept highways may easily
| be reckoned among the miilions.
How to Cut a Pineapple: Pare it
carefully, and with the point of the
knife take out all the eyes’; then, with
. a silver fork, pick the fruit from the core
in bits as large as an almond or Brazii
nut. Cever with sugar or not, as pre-
ferred ; sugar draws cut the juice.
Place on ice in time to have it well
chilled when served.
Ham on Salad: Hand scrape a ham
of about twelve pounds; saw off the
knuckle and put it in a large saucepan ;
add sufficient cold water to make 1t
swim ; add two earrots, two onions, cel-
ery, twelve cloves, a blade of mace,
thyme and four bay leaves; let it boil
and simmer very slowly for four hours ;
then let it get cold in its own liquor.
When cold remove the rind, trim off the
rough fat, cut in thin slices, dish on
salad, garnished with slices of lemon,
beetroot, aspic jelly and parsley.
Potted Beef Tongue with Chicken :
Take the meat off the chicken—do not
use the skin and sinews. Chop and
pound well with a pound of tongue,
boil the bones to make a glaze, ana
moisten the meat with it; season with
salt, pepper, nutmeg and a spoonful of
butter. After pounding well and run-
ning through a sieve, press it in pots,
stand the pots in a stew-pan with hot
water in the bottom. Let steam thirty
minutes, then cool. Wipe dry and cov-
er with hot butter.
What is ‘Stylish.
Yellow and pink polka dotted gauze
for little girls’ dancing frocks,
Gold bandelettes for the hair, ending
in a bow of gold ribbon on top.
Gold ribbon for millinery purposes
and for rosettes on evening t ‘lets.
Natural colored ostrich feather fans,
with silvered, black or shell mounts.
Narrow cord and jet gimps in black
to edge different portions of the bodice.
Band trimmings of pearls, white ostrich
tips and gold cord for evening toilets,
Passementeries of metal cords orna-
mented here and there with tiny ostrich
tips.
Quill feather fans having a few center
quills covered with ostrich feather ef-
fects.
A Grecian trimming of jet beads
forming the scrolls, with tinsel cord
leaves intertwining,
Quill fans cut on the upper edge to
give shape to the flowers, butterflies,
ete. painted there.
Exquisite brocaded cravats of old rose,
turquoise, lavender, iris, cardinal and
bluette on black satin.
Yellow and white brocade for the
sleeves and yoke of white wool dresses
and a garniture of gold galloon.
Hairline stripes in medium light silks
for dressy evening costumes that are not
expensive or in full dress.
Very fine pattesns of oriental lace for
edging the neck and sleeves of the semi-
transparent woolen dresses.
Fine gold, steel or silver cord for lac-
ing sleeves and parts of the bodice of a
gold trimed or gold brocade costume.
“Jenkins, I’ve got something to
tell you. It grieves-me to say it, but as
a friend, I don’t think I ought to keep
silent.”
“What is it, man—what is it ?”
“I saw Brown throwing kisses to
your wife.”
“Great Scott! I wouldn’t have be-
lieved it.”
“TI thought not.”
“But, come to think of it, Brown nev-
er did have much taste.”
A Brigit Future, —“When I was
twenty-one years of age,” he said, “I
though that if I wasn’t rich at thirty
I would be too old to enjoy wealth.”
“How old are you now ?”’
“Saventy.”
“And rich of course ?”’
“No, I'm a poor man yet; but I've
got a scheme in view that will make me
as rich as mul before I'm eighty, and
then [ propose to take things easy and
enjoy life,”
SE —
Tur CamMPHOR INDUSTRY IN FLORI-
DA.—The new industry of camphor pro-
duction gives promise of being perma-
nently established in Florida. It is be-
lieved that in ten years’ time there will
be more camphor trees than orange trees
in Florida, and that the camphor indus-
try will be more profitable than that
of sugar. Tt is stated that the camphor
obtained from the Florida trees ap-
proaches more nearly to that of Japan
than to Chinese campbor, since the odor
of safrol is distinctly recognizable.--
Commercial Advertiser.
Hr was Proun.—*Do you have your
washing done 1n this precinct ?” asked
one of the judges of election.
“No sir,” replied the man.
“Then you cannot vote here,” said
the judge. Andthe shaggy-haired re-
former of society turned contemptuously
on his heel and went away, too proud to
tell the tyrannical minions of a capitalis-
tic and corrupt government that he
didn’t have his washing done in any
precinct.
DE —— A —
——1In an advertisement:by a rail-
road company of some uncalled for
goods, the letter “1” had dropped from
the lawful, and it read: People to
whom these packages are requested to
come forward and pay the awful charges
on the same.