SY SE EEN ¢ DeuopeticA tcp ~Boilefonte, Pa, February 27, 1891. NO TIME LIKE THE OLD TIME. There is notime like the old tlme, when you I were young, J When the buds of April blossomed ana the birds of spring time sung, The garden's brightest glories suns are nursed, But, oh, the sweet, sweet violets, the flowers that opened first! by summer ‘There is no place like the old place, where you and I were born, Where we lifted first our eyelids on the splen- dors of the morn, From the milk-white breast that warmed us from theclinging arms that bore, - Where the deareyes glistened o’er us that will look on us no more. There is no friend like the old friend, who has shared our morning days, No greeting like his welcome, no homage like his praise. Fame 1s the scentless sunflower, with gaudy crown of gold, But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold. There is no love like the old love, that we courted in our pride ; Though our leaves are falling, falling, and we're fading side by side, There are blossoms all around us, with the col- ors of our dawn, And we live in borrowed sunshine when our daystar is withdrawn. There are no times like the old times—they Il never be forgot; s no place like the old place—keep green the dear old spot! There are no friends like our old friends-- may heaven prolong their lives ! There are no loves like our old loves-~-God bless our loving wives! —Oliver Wendell Holmes. JESSIE BELL’S NERVE. There A Hard Fight and Long Journey to a Doctor. “If itis trae as I read it in the news- papers that Jesse Bell of Wind river is dead,” said C. P. Loruer, of the Hel en No. 2 Mining Company, ‘‘then the nerviest man that ever prospected, kill- ed bears and hunted Indians in the wilds of Wyoming or any other wilds, is dead. The first time I ever saw Jesse Bell he had jast completed a Journey of one hundred and twenty miles with his upper jaw and part of nose and cheek gone, half of his scalp torn off, one foot crushed and mangled, his right arm badly lacerated and three ribs broken. The journey had taken two days and a half aad two nights and a half. It began at the mouth of Horse creek, on the Green river, and ended at Fort Bridger. I was at the fort when Jesse was brought in by his partner, Arkansas Bill, and another man, a stranger: I never saw such a sight as he was. No explanations were asked for or given until Jesse was placed sately in the hospital. Then the commandant sail to Arkansas Bill : “Indians 2" “No,” replied Bill ; ‘hears.’ “And then Bill told the story of one of the most terrific bear fights that any man in that region of big and fierce bears and intrepid bear hunters had ever heard of. Jesse and Bill had been prospecting, hunting and wrapping about the headwaters of S ake, Wind and Green rivers for some time. They found no ore or sign of any, and the hunting and trapping were none of the best. They worked their way down through MeDougall’'s Gap, struck the headwaters of Horse creek, which they followed to its mouth, There they struck great signs of otter, beaver and other fur animals, put up a cabin, and seitied down for a few weeks’ trapping. One day they saw a herd of antelope and started out to bag one or two of the shy little deer. The antelope led them toward a high bluff, and they followed the game for eight miles with- out being able to get a shot. The an- telope finally passed around one edge of the bluff, and the two hunters began crawling along the bluff, out of sight of the antelope, with the hope ot get- ting within range. Jesse Bell was in the lead, and as he turned a sharp cor- ner of rock he came face to face with a big she silvertip bear, a yearling cub and two spring cubes. They were not ten feet away, and they saw Jesse as soon as he saw them. They were in a hollow, and the position and place Jesse was in made it a danger- ous spot either for an attack on the bears or for defense against them. Ar- kansas Bill had crept to Jessie's side before the latter could tell him what was ahead. He took in the situation at once and jumped back. Before Jes- se could follow him the old bear, her blood being up, made a rush for him. Jesse fired and broke the bears, shoul- der. Then he jumped aside, but the bear was too close to him, and she caught him in the side. Both went down in a heap, the bear falling an top, at Arkansas Bill's feet. The bear closed her great jaws on Jesse's side Her upper teeth were buried in the flesh, cracking three ribs like pipe- stems. Fortanately her under teeth struck a heavy leather bullet pouch that Jesse carried slung over his shoul- der by a strap. That prevented the euormous jaws from closing together in Jesse's side and tearing a large portion of it away. All that Jesse could do was to give the bear a tremendous kick in the stomach. At the same in- stant Arkansas Bill fired at the bear. The ball entered back of her shoulder. “The bear evidently though the pain from the bullet was the result of Jesse's kick, for she turned and caught his foot jus* below the ankle and crushed it with one savage bite. Not satisfied with that she bit and chewed at the foot and leg and tore away the flesh at every bite, while Jesse was struggling to get his revolver out of his revolver his belt. All this time Arkan- 8as Bill loading his rifle, breech-loaders not yet having come in use out in that country. Jesse's struggles to turn and get his revolver caused the bear to wheel about again. She made a grab for Jesse's head. Bill had his gun loaded by this time, and sent another bullet in the tough old bear. This top- pled her over, and Jesse raised partial- ly to his feet and got his revolver in his left hand. The bear recovered herself nd struck Jesse a blow with her paw on the head aud face that knocked him down again. He held on to his revolver, and put a ball into the bear's body: Before he could shoot again the bear seized his arm between her teeth and crunched it ol:ar through the bone. Jesse mow liy so that Bill conld not fire withou: endangering his life. Bill shouted to him to move his head. Jesse did so, but the instant he moved it the bear snapped at it quick- ly, as Jesse lay half face upward, and closed don on his head clear tg the upper jaw. Jesse, in describing this look right down the bear’s throaf. Bat Arkansas Bill was equal to the occa- sion, and placing the muzzle of his rifle at the bear’s ear, fired. The bear spang back. She did not take the trouble, though, to loosen her hold on Jesse's head and face, and tore away the upper jaw, part of the nose, one cheek. and a piece of the scalp nine inches long and five wide. The bear fell over against Arkansas Bill dead. Her great body carried him down with her and pinned him fast by both legs. He extricated himselt with diffienlty and limped to the aid of his companion. Jesse was sitting up a ghastly specta- cle. His jaw was hangiag by a strip of flesh to his cheek. Bill cut itloose. While he was dressing Jesse's torn scalp the yearing bear, which, with the two cubs, had been silent spectators of the fight, concluded to take it up where the old bear had been forced to leave it off, and made a savage rush upon the two hunters: Arkansas Bill had a lively tussle with the young sil- ver-tip before he managed to kill it with his six-shooter, every chamber being emptied before the bear gave up. “Jesse waited without a groan or a word until Bill had finshed the young bear and returned to the dressing of his wounds. Iaving fixed them up the best he conld with the means at hand, Bill took Jesse on his back and started for camp. It was late in the afternoon, and it was important that camp should be reached before dark, for black wolves were numerous in the hills, and both Jesse and Bill knew that they would follow their trail if darkness overtook them. Some idea of Arkansas Bill's capacity may be had when it is known that Jesse Bell was a man six feet four in his stocking feet, and made in proportion. The camp was eight miles away, and the way was extremely rough. Bill reach- ed the camp ‘with his burden a short time after dark, and was not anv too soon, as they began to hear the cries of pursuing wolves, “When they reached camp Bill found their cabin occupied by a pros- pector who bad stumbled in the shel- ter and entered. He was a timely visi- tor. Together Bill andj the stranger fixel up a hed of buckskin and fur on wo tepee poles, which they fastened to a pony, Indian fashion, and placing Jesse on the drag, started at once for the nearest place where medical and surgical aid could be had, Fort Bridger one hundred and twenty miles away, through a rough and unbroken wilder- ness. They traveled day and night, stopping only to bathe Jesse's wounds at the rivers and creeks they had to cross. They ate as they traveled, and on the afternoon of the third day they came into Fort Bridger with their terri- bly wounded charge. On all that memorable journey Jesse Bell never once complained ot suffering either from pain or hardship. He was plac- sd in the hospital, and the surgeon told Arkansas Bill that he could never survive his injuries. But he did and was out in a month, sadly and permant- ly disfigured, but the same tough and intrepid mountaineer that he was be- fore his great bear fight.”—N. ¥- Sun. An Old Colored Man’ Idea of Election and Salvation, Senator Vance, of North Carolina, un- questionably the champion story-teller the Senate, writes a New York Tribune correspondent, has a broad stripe of Cal- vanism down his back, though he is not a communicant in the church. It is told of him that jriding along in Bun- combe county one day he overtook a venerable darky, with whom he thought to have a “iittle fun.” *Uncle,” said the Governor, “are you going to church ?”’ “No sah, not exzactly—I'm gwine back from church.” : “You're a Baptist, I reckon—now ain’t you ?”’ “No, sah, T ain’t no Bapsist, de most of brederen and sisters about here has been under de water.” “Methodist, then?" “No, sah, Tain’t no Mefodis, nudder.” “Campbelite?” “No, sah, IT can’t errogate to myself de Camelite way of thinkin.” “Well, want in the name of goodness are yon then ?”’ rejoined the Governor, remembering the narrow range in choice in religious among North Carolina ne- 2roos. Well, de fac’ is, sah, my old marster was a Herruld of the Cross in the Pres- byterian Church, and was fotch up in dat faith.” “What! You don’t mean it? Why that’s my church.” The negro making no comment on this announcement, Governor Veace went at him again. “And do you believe in all of the Presbyterian creed 77’ “Yes, sah, dat I does.” “Do you believe in the doctrine of piebestination ?” “I dunno dat I recognize de name, sah.” “Why, do you believe that if a man is elected to be saved he will be saved, and that if be is elected to be damned he will be damned ? “Oh, yes, boss, I believe dat. It's gospel talk, dat is “Well, now, take my case. Do you believe that I am elected to be saved ?” The old man struggled for a moment with his desire to be respectful and po- lite and then shook his head dubiously. “Come, now, answer my question,” pressed the Governor. “What do you say 7” “Well-—I tell you what ’tis, Marse Zeb, Ise been libin’ in dis hyah world nigh on sixty years, and I neber yit hyard of any man bein’ ’lected without he was a candidate.” situation afterward, said that hecould | ONE YEAR AGO. For the WarcnyaN. Oh love, lost love, my thoughts turn back, Again I see the golden glow Of happy Indian summer days, One year ago. We roamed along the sandy shore, The waves made music sweet and low, The soft winds tossed your golden curis, One year ago. High in the air pink breasted gulls, On snowy wings went to and fro, And life seemed almost periect then, One year ago. The Indian summer passed away, Came winter with its ice and snow; And with it passed our own sweet dream, One year ago. Time goes, and Autumn comes again, With hazy days, and oft sweet glow, But comes no more the joy we knew One year ago. WiLL TUCKENMILLER. EE C—————— A Haytiau Snake Catcher. A Copper-Colored Chap Whom Venom. cus Bites Only Tickle. At 206 West State street, Jackson- { ville, Flu. resides Silas Koman, a cop- per-colored fellow about tive feet eight inches in height, broad shouldered and open faced. He is a good dresser and is | proud of his collars and euffs, and belt of rattlesnake skins. ‘Lhe house in which F'oman lives is unpretentious, and there is nothing about it that suggests it is the residence of the most famous snake charmer in the world, and that in the rear yard is one of the finest collections of poisonous creepers. In stoutly constructed cages are mag- nificent rattler,huge moccasins, the dead- ly zephyr and the vicious coach whip,be- sides scores of the less prominent mem- bers of the serpent family. Foman is as much at home with these slimy crea- tures us is a father with his children. He handles them at will and with the utmost confidence, The creatur:s do not appear afraid of him, but submit in a passivesort of way to his manipula- tions. Yesterday Foman left for the Everglades, where he prop ses to secure a coliection of snakes for the World's Fair that will surpass in numbers, var- lety, perfectness and d-adliness anything that the world has ever known. Foman says : “I am a native of Hayti and have been in this country seventeen years. A few years ago I determined to engage exclusively in the snake business. Ip my childhood my parents would gratify me by permitting me to have a rattle- snake for a companion, and as I grew older I became fonder ot these reptiles and always delighted in making them a study. 1 would sometimes get bitten by them, but my father had a remedy that would soon heal the wound. 1883, while in Lee county, near the Ever- glades, I captured a snake which was shipped to New York. * I was paid $70 fort and Ihave been following the bus- iness ever since. “On all rattlssnakes four feet long and over I realize from $25 to $50 each. The smaller snakes I generally use my- self for the manufacture of -snake oil, which will cure any rheumatism or neu- ralgia in existence. I learned this from the Seminole Indians. Before Pablo Beach was thoroughly settled I caught hundreds of snakes in that vicinity, but the largest and best quality of rattle- snakes to be found in the country are at Fort George Island, at the mouth of the St John’s river. The snakes at this place are very gentle, and can be easily tamed. Last month I succeeded in ¢ap- turing forty-four snakes there, and was only bitten eight times. I have secur- ed from the Seminole Indians a fluid that I use when bitten, and with it the bite of a rattlesnake is no more serious than the bite of a musquito.” A few days ago, Foman gave an ex- hibition of his powers in snake catching to a number of New Yorkers. He has a small dog trained to ¢ point” snakes. The party proceeded to a place where rattiers were likely to be found. It was fully an hour before the dog obtained a clue and began barking ; finally he drop- ped and pointed his tail straight into the air. The snake charmer ran to the spot and by the use of a mirror attached to a stick six feet long he gradually drew the snake until within arm’s reach, when he reached out and secured the reptile, not, however, without the fangs penetrating his right hand. He appled his antidote, and smilingly requested the reporter to “take a bite” too, which was emphati- cally refused. Returning home the snake charmer took out a piece of red silk, shook it in front of the reptile, which, with its deadly fangs, penetrated it. Silas then jerked the silk violently away and the fangs were removed. “The rattlesnake,” continued the snake charmer, “sheds its coat twice a year, and at that time is perfectly blind, is helpless and is easily captured. Ag this stage they are assisted by a nurse or pilot, who gnards and protects them. This guard is the young king snake. The king snake , however, is the worst enemy the rattlosnake has, and can eas- ily kill it in combat. I have seen rat- tlesnakes fleeing from the old king snake to the young king snake for pro- tection.” cr———— Pennsylvania and Her Roads. Cincinati Commercial. Pennsylvania has a Road (lommis- sion which is now considering the sub- ject of a better system of improving the public highways. The enormous sum of | $9,000,000 is annually spent for roads in the Keystone State, and it is evident that a large part of this is practically squandered. As in Ohio, country tax- payers are allowed to work out a certain part of ths assessment on the roads, and under a loose system which has very poor resulis, Instead of becoming bet- ter, the country roads appear to be grow- ing worse from year to year. A p'an proposed is to have enacted a general State law placing the control of the | roads under the county or district civil engineers. These officials will let road construction and improvement by con- Demestic Concerns. For a cold on the lungs, lay a cloth on the chest which has frst been wrung out of boiling water and sprinkled with turpentine. In serving chocolate shake a very little cinnamon over the filled cup to make the beverage like the chocolate of Mexico and Havana. If the sirloin weighs twelve or fifteen pounds, two and a half hour will be suf- ficient to roast it in. Beef must hang at least two days, its flavor i§ so much improved thereby. For rheumatism, take half a glassful of lemon-juice for ten nights. Always take it when geiting into bed at night. Wear flannel next to the skin, and in cold weathersiecp in warm blankets. ft Was a Rattler, “Did you ever hear of the wonderful presence of mind displayed by McJunk- in’s tame rattlesnake?” “No,” replied the horse editor. “MeJunkin was out hunting one day and he came across a rattlesnake on which a rock had fallen accidentally in such away that the repttle could not get away. Being a humane sort of a chap, ne lifted the rock and released the snake which expressed its gratitude in a few joyful rattles and then wiggled away. “Is that where the presence of mind came in? “No, I am coming to that. A year or so after McJunkin was hunting 1n the same locality and was startled by hearing the peculiar noise of the rattle snake. Turning he found one of the Sauce for pudding: One cup of su- gar, one-half cup of butter, beat to a cream ; add one beaten egg, teaspoonful of dour wet with cold water. Add one- half pint boiling water and let all boil a few moments, stirring constantly. For friezes, nets have often been used with good effect, draped in graceful folds along the top of “the room or stretched directly upon the wall. They in alcoves. ing mix together one-forth of a cake of grated chocolate, one-half cupful of sweet milk, one tablespoonful of con starch, and Jet it boil for about two of vanilla and sweeten powdered sugar. Cookies: Ingredients-—Two cup of white sugar, one cup sour eream, one cup batter, four egs, one half teaspoon soda and flour to make a soft dongh. I have made them for years, and never had any poor enes. They will keep for weeks, and when two weeks old are bet- ter than when first made, Craliers: One capful of sugar, pieca of butter the size of an egg rubbed well into the flour, two egzs beaten into the sugar and butter, one cup of milk, three teaspoonfuls of baking powder mixed into a cupful of flour. Add a lit- tle salt, unless the butter is very salty. it to taste with of lemon extract. Mix very soft. Chestnut Cookies: Peel the chestnuts and boil them until soft, then pound them and mix to a paste with three eggs, sugar to taste and flour to make a dough that you can roll out thin; cut them in fancy shapes, brush them over with egg, and sprinkle with chopped chestnuts. Allow about a cupful of boiled chestnuts for three eggs. = A tasteful drapery for a square waste- paper basket consists of two festoons of plush or satin ; peacock blue 1s a good choice, alternating with two deep cro- cheted points of beige color or pale blua macrame cord in wheels, or any other pretty designs, and finish with heavy tassels of the cord. Rosettes and cords, both crocheted, finish the top and sides, and pompons of gathered plash may al- so be introduced if desired. Choice Extracts. He who gives pleasure meets withoit ; kipdness is the bond of friendship and therhook of love; he who sows not, reaps not. : No one will ever be kept out of Heav- en for not doing enough. but multitudes will fail to enter in because they do not love enough. : Men worshipped God, without know- ing it, in the home; and, while profess- ing to worship Him, they bribe Him, and cringe before Him in the tem ple. The truthjof religionlis most powerful, not as set forth on the printed page, but as exhibited in the daily life. “Living epistles” are the ones men like best to read. Our success in all Christian work, as Christian work, is measured by our pos- session of spiritual power. But we must not depend for our success on our feeling that we have spiritual power. We ought to feel our need of that power, and trust to God to give it to us as we go on in the path of duty He has pointed out as ours. On of the fearful features of all sin consists in the fact that every sinful ac- tion which one does naturally disposes him to do another like action. Thus the casé’goes from bad to warse, at each step of the progress becoming worse, un- til final and absolute ruin is the result. The self-perpetrating and self-intensify- ing power of sin is written upon the ex- perience of the human race. Have youa joy? Out with it! Set your candle upon the mantlepiece. When in boyhtod, in the country, I went to the prayermeetings, we went across the corn-field in groups, and fath- er would take a lantern, and go ahead, and we would all follow in the light of that one lantern, not stumbling or los- ing our way. Let yourligcht so shine before men! Don’t sit during prayer- meeting with you head down in your hands as though you had been asleep two weeks. The homeliest part of you is the top of your head. Let your face shine. Talmage wn zr. ¥. Observer. A Valuable Bibie. Millions of people regard the Bible as the most valuable book in the world, aside from its mechanical make up and appearance. But in a comercial sense a Hebrew Bible at the Vatican in Rome is said to be the most valuable book in the world. In 1512 Pope Julius, then in great financial straits, refused to sell it to a syndicate of rich Venetian Jews for its weight in gold. The Bible weighs more than 325 pounds, and is never carried by less than three men. The price refused by Pope Julius was, therefore, about $125,000, and that too, when gold was worth at least thrice what it is now worth. He CoNSIDERED IT A COMPLIMENT. —Pryor—Look here, Charlie, you must stop smoking those villainous cigarettes. They will soften your brain and—— Cholly-—-Thawrks | Baw Jawve! A thousand thawnks! You are dooced kind, Pwyor. . Pryor (as Cholly moves off)--Well, there's gratitude for you, Hawk. I tract. Road taxes will be paid in cash, bat the work must be given to owners of teams in the aistrict, thus enabling farmers to recain in wages the taxes ] they have paid, provided they do the work as well and cheaply as others. actually believe the fellow’s going to swear off. Hawk--No, that wasn’t it. You see, the poor chap has been told so often that he has no brain that he feels highly | flattered by your concern. are used very largely for transom de- | corations or as valances over windows or | For a simple recipe for chocolate ic- | minutes, then flavor witha teaspoonful | Flavor with one and a half teaspoonfuls | | reptiles following him and recognized ithe one he had been kind to a year be- | fore. | dog. McJunkin was struck by this re- I markable case of gratitude in a creature supposed to be totally devoid of that The snake seemed very glad to | { see him and followed at his heel like a | i 1 | | quality and he took the snake home | | with him. After extracting its fangs | the snake was | the house. i “One night McJunkin heard a noise {in the room below. where his safe was standing. Going down to see what the | trouble was he found burglars at work, | but they promptly gagged him. Mrs. | MeJuankin followed her husband down- I strairs and rushed to the window to give the alarm. She had opened it about | and gagged by the burglars. | “About this time the sr.ake, which | had been asleep under the house, crawl- ed out. | the man who saved its life was in dire | distress. Wriggled rapiding toward the | open window it climbed a chair, thrust | its tail out in the street, and made such | a loud rattle that the police arrived be- | fore the burglars could get away, and | both of them were captured.” S————————— Washing Out the Stomach. | cians in New York have tried, with a | gratifying success, a novel treatment for dyspepsia aud cancer of the stomach by washing out that organ. During the past year several physi- | | glected. permitted the freedom of | portance to their health. Poultry Pickings. Ordinarily is not a good plan to try to hatch dacks too early. They will thrive better after the weather gets warm and settled. It has been thoroughly settled that the hens will lay more ezzs, and that the eggs will keep longer and better, witout roosters than with them. ‘Burat corn with the cob makes the best charcoal for hens, being far su- perior to wood charcoal which contains but little nutriment. Twice a week is often enough to feed it, The sweeping of the foddering floors and mangers can be profitably fed to the fowis, letting them do their own sorting, They can doit much better than yon ean, and not make so much fuss about it. Sunshine is 205d medicine for laying hens, with a [iberal allowance_ of the proper kiuds of tood, both dry and green with lime in some form, and good pure water. Poultry will not thrive if ne- Water is of the utmost im- Hens, like cows, are fond of green food in winter. Clover Lay cut up in fine bits is a cheap and good substitute for areen food when it becomes scarce. The many diseases to which hens are | subject will be less liable to preva‘land I more eggs will be the result. Clover | hay is a very excellent food for them at { four inches when she, too, was seized ! It was at a glance that it saw | striking the birds. all seasons. Try it and see. Fowls must have sanlight. A fair- sized window is better than a glass. front for general use. Ventilators should be so designed as to permit a reasonable amount of air without draft By alittle careful planning they can be properly made These are a few simple thoughts, old | to a great many and perhaps new to | The process | iis very simple and not dangerous. A | | long flexible pipe is passed down the | throat until one end is in the stomach. | The upper end has a funnel attached, | into which hot water is poured until the stomach is filled. The weight of the water in the pipe and funnel gives a hy- draulic pressure suflicient to distend the stomach. The pipe has an aperture big enough to hold a lead pencil. After end of the pipe is turned down until it is lower than the bottom of the stomach, and the stomach is emptied as a barrel ofany fluid is emptied through a siphon, The process may be repeated several times. food and mucous are washed out, and the hot water closes the blood vessels and reduces “inflammation. The relief is immediate. Thedyspeptic may have his stomach washed out before a meal, so that he can a take fresh start. After the lapse of a sufficient time for o:din- ary digestion, the stomach is washed cut again. This process has been in use at the New York Hospital, we are inform- ed, for some time. corer c— Aen oe We had an hour to wait at a railroad of us sat down in the shade on the edge of the platform and hung our legs over. It was very comfortable, and we were smoking and talking, shen a man with a rope in his hand, evidently looking for astray mule, came out of the bushes op- posite us and stood looking up and down the track. By and by he directed his gaze toward our feet, but we didn’t mind him until he drawled out : “You all, there !”’ “Well 7” queried ore. “Hist up your feet!” We “histed’”” without waiting to ask why, and then looked over to see a rat- tlesnake about seven feet long just coil- ing himself for a strike after having crawled out from under the platform. A handy grindstone was dropped on him, and when some one thanked the native, he called back: “Some men who hev lost a mule and hunted fer him three days would hev bin onery about it, but thar’s nothin’ dog-gone mean about me.” BE — A Unique Comparison. A facetions watchmaker says: “A watch is like the human body. It is just as sensitive as the most delicate child and needs more care and protection than it ever receives. . “It is affected by climatic influences, and its vitals are just as liable to de- rangement as those of our bodies. Its heart beats govern its action and its hands and face tell its condition at all times. “If T were to classify the diseases of watches I should say that the one where the works are clogged with dirt and the oil has become stiff is analagous to our biliousness. This is the most common complaint watch doctors find, and un- less the owner of the watch makes it a rule to submit it to a reputable repairer he will probably be victimized, just as human patients are when they consult quack doctors.’ People We All Know. The man who talks too long in prayer meeting. The woman who never has anything good to say about her neighbors. Poople who will not have anything to do with anything, unless they can “boss’” the whole business. The man who gets on stilts every time he prays in public. The preacher who is always sure the Lord wants him to go to the church that offers the largest salary. The Sunday-school teacher who never thinks it worth while to study the les- son. . The people who come into an au- dience late, to attract attention and show themselves: The people who would do great things for the Lord, if they could only do them without costing them something. Turkeys, "in cold weather, will stay around the barn-yard if properly and abundantly fed and sheltered. the stomach has been filled, the funnel | The result is that the undigested | some. a ——————— Didn't Like the Subject, It has been noticed that sometimes people who are slightly deat appears to hear certain sounds better than they are able to heer others, and from this the proverb,“ None so deaf as those who wont hear,” has arisen, The story is a well | known one of a rich father, who was somewhat deaf, and was asked one day by his scape-grace : “Father, will you give me fifty dol- lars?” What 2” sajd the father, putting his hand to his ear. “Will you give me a hundred dol- lars 777 shouted the young man. “Hold on!” said the father. “I | heard you well enough the first time.” A somewhat similar story is told of Sir Richard Steele, who when he was preparing a room in York buildings, London, for public orations, happened to be a good deal behind in his pay- ments to his workmen. Coming one day into the Hall to see what progress was made, Steele ordered the carpenter to get into the rostrum and make a speech in order to observe how it could be heard. The carpenter mounted the stage and scratching his head, told Sir Richard that he did not know what to say. “I'm no orator, sir,’”’ he said. “Oh, no matter,” said Steele; “say the first thing that comes uppermost in your head.” “Why, then, Sir Richard, here we : > nad } { have been working for your honor these junction in Lousiana, and four or five | six’months, and cannot get a penny of our money. Pray, sir, when do you in- tend to ——?” “That will do—that will do!’ said Steele. “You may come down. I heard quite distinctly but I didn’t like your subject,” Thought It Was a Dead Cat Mine. It was the man on whose land natur- al gas was first struck in the Findlay, Ohio, district, and he was telling some of us about it as we waited in the depot at Columbus. “Wall, you know,” he began, “my son Bill was « great hand to read. One day he laid away a book he had been reading and says to me: . “Dad, I’ve been readin’ up on min- erals an’ I'm goin’ to find sunthin’ right here on our farm.’ ¢ ¢Shoo, Bill,’ says I, ‘hut you won’t strike nothin’ outside of cobblestones and worms.’ “But he went at it, an’ begun to dig an’ bore an’ fool aroun’ an’ leave me to hoe the corn, and one day he struck sunthin’, There cum sich an infernal smell that both of us was drove to the house, an’ then the smell got so bad that we was drove to neigbor’s, an’ we had to let the hogs out of the pen, or they would have keeled over. «Bill, T says, when IT got where I° could breathe again, ‘you said you'd strike sunthin’, an’ you have. You've wasted three months’ time gittin’ down to whar Christopher Columbus buried about a thousand tomeats, an’ we've all bin driv off the farm in consekence. It’s my turn now to strike sunthin’, an’ you kin get ready for the all-firedst lickin’ a boy ever got.’ “I give it to him, gentlemen, an’ then 1 went spookin’ aroun’ to find some- body who'd buy the farm at about the cost of the barn. A feller who seemed to hev catarrh an’ didn’t mind the smell closed up a deal with me, an’ I had to grin as I walked off with his money un- der my arm. I kep’ on grinnir’ fur about a week, but then I heard some news that stopped me, an’ I guess it’s three year since I've opened my mouth sideways. Them dead cats was worth a hundred thousand dollars fo me, an’ I sold ’em for $800 and walked around patting myself on the back fur being so allfired cute.” You can tell pretty well how a girl feels toward you by the way she takes your arm. Ifshe doesn’t care a cent you know it by the indifference of her muscles, If she has great confi- dence in you the pressure tellsit; and friendship is as distinct from love in that mode of expression asin words or looks. A woman can take the arm of a fellow she likes very much with perfect com- fort, even if she is six feet high and he is four. But even if the two are just matched, she can make him {feel dis- dain, contempt, discomfort, dislike, any- thing she likes, by the way she does not hold on to him-