Deworratic Aatdyman _ Bellefonte, Pa, Jan wary 50, 1891. THE LIFE FOR WHICH I LONG. When on my day of light the night is falling, And in the winds from ansunned spaces blown, I hear far voices out of darkness calling My ‘teet to paths unknown, Then who hast made my home of life so pieasant, Leave not its tenant when its walls decay ; O love divine. O Helper ever present, Be Thou my hel. and stay. Be near me when all else is from me drifting, Earth, sky,home’s picture, days of shade and shine And kindly faces to my own uplifting The love which answers mine. J have but Thee, O Father! Let thy spirit Be with me, then, to comfort and uphold; No gate of pearl, no branch of palm I merit, Nor street of shining gold. Suffice it if. my good and ill unreckoned, And bash forgiven through Thy bounding grace, I find myself by hands familiar beckoned Unto my fitting place— Some humble door among Thy many man- sions Some sheltering shade where sin and striv ing cease, And flows forever through heaven’s green ex- pansions The river of Thy peace. There, from the music round about me steal- ing, I fain would learn the new and holy song, And find at last, bereath Thy trees of healing, The life for which 1 long. —John G. Whittier. THEIR GREAT-UNCLE. “Heugh ! fweugh!” groaned old Pierreyitrying 4e raise himself from the rcck on which he rested. Then he looked around, and shook his tremu- lous fist at the mountain peaks frown- ing en every side. “So,” said he. So” I am at your feet. Once I "was your master. I have danced mpon those beetling brows and scaled those pre- cipitous heights like a chamois. Ah! I tell you Iwas bold and young then. You could not frighten Pierre with your crashing avalanches. Pierre knew yourtricks by heart.” Then muttering maledietions on old age, which brought so many infirmities in its train, he took up a-small bundle and pursued his journey to the village beside the lake. From the path by which Pierre de- scended, and immediately below the steep zigzag, was a superb view of the azure lake. The limpid waters lapped the cliffs, blue, fo intensely blue. The barks, ‘wingra-wing, eped like eagles across the bay. Pierre’sold eyes had lost little of their keenness, and they took in this beauty with infinite joy. “pt least I can see,” he said proud- ly, “and perhaps I can use my wits no less than I could forty yearsago. Well, now ifor my affectionate nephews. Let us recapitulate the lesson. What are the names? Ah, I have it! The gos pels ‘backward. First, John. He should be steady, this John, and doubt- less well to de. Luke was a fool—yes! I avoid :Luke. Mark—awhat did he say of Mark? Isit possible my mem- ory begins to fail me? But no! I re member all. He is the rich one, very rich. Mathieu, a generous rattlepate with a wife and six children, and little to feed them with. John and Mark, I send you my very good eompliments.” A malicious smile hovered ronnd the aged man’s lipe as he waved his hand with mock courtesy toward the village, nestling well under shelter of the cliffs down which the zigzag path was lead ing him. It is possible John and Mark may meet their match in this decrepitifigure, for after all it is mind that governs matter. Perbaps some such thought caused the smile in the keen old eyes, as Pierre at last found himselfiin (the vil- lage straet, and asked for the house of his nephew, John Desor. Jokn, portly, heavy visaged John, stood at his ehop door A cautious man this John, who. did not accept his fee- ble relative with any manifestation of hospitality. “I suppose I may sit down?” quav- ered Pierre. “You may sit down!’ said John's deep base. Mrs. John.sat behind the .counter, ready for customers. She made signs to her husband. In ther eyes it was easy to read that theresvas no welcome. “He had better go to Mark. Mark is so rich, and besides this he has a room and to spare.” Pierre was still emiling as he tarned to leave the shop. Johan pointed the way with magnificent courtesy. “The second house on the right. You do well 0 go to Mark,” he said approvingly. Mark was a notary: He was busy writing, and looked up frowning fierce- ly at the interraption. “Disgraceful! One of our blood begging! You always wasted your substance in the past, or you would not be homeless today. You can’t expect us to support you; we; have all we can do to get our own liv- ing. Go back to the false friends that counseled you to take this unwise step. But wait! Let me look up the family record. 1 don't believe you are our great uncle after all, Desor is no un- common name.’ The old m2an without a word walked into the street. “Pigs, exasperating pigs of peasants,” he said under his breath. “But now what to do?” At least the bench by the well was common property. He crawled there with his bundle and sat down to rest. Then, in a dreamy, half drowsy condi: tion, he watched the women come and go, until at last a loud voice and a boisterous laugh set the echoes calling. “Eh! friends, neighbors! Have you seen an old man go past this noon? A feeble old man with a bundle? I want to find him. He's my great-uncle, you must know, homeless and friendless, according to my two most noble broth- ers, John and Mark. What, here? Poor old fellow! Tired out and hung- ry! Why, uncle, how are you? I'm your grand-nephew Mathieu, at your gervice.” “So you are Mathieu ?” The old man roused himself with a start and smiled back at the cherry face bent over him. “Ay! and here we have the ‘wife and young ones. Three here and three more at home. Yes, as you see, we are blessed with plenty of mouths to feed and, thanks be to God, a crust for each one, and one over for you it you'll take it.” As he talked Mathieu lifted the old man in his arms, carried him like a sack of corn to the wagon and tumbled him in. Every one laughed, Pierre louder than all. “This is what I like,” said he; “I am cheerful by nature.” Then to show that he was not too old to be en- tertaining he told flne stories and laughed merrily all the way along. But as the rude wagon jo'ted up the mountain side to the tiny chalet where Mathieu made his poor living, the old man became silent, casting his keen eyes back and forth with comprehen- sive glances. Aha! Pierre had his wits about him, wits enough to stock Mathieu, his wite and six children,and i leave plenty over for the elder broth- ers. “So you are very poor, Mathieu,” sa‘d he, as he took his survey from the chalet door. Mathieu's rosy face clouded as he looked within and nodded. Every- thing was clean, tor his wife was thrif- ty, but poverty was written on every hand, even in the faces of his six chil- dren, who needed more plentiful and more nourishing food. “Mathieu,” called the wife, *‘come thou and make the uncle a bed. At least we have sweet hay up here,” The o'd man’s keen glantes from the chalet door lighted into sudden flame as his eyes rested on the bare rock forming part of Mathieu's posses- sions. Then he chuckled as if some happy idea had occurred to him. Mathieu's wife, Marie, laughed too. “He will be cheerful company,” said she to her husband. Next morning they all rose at day- break, for Mathieu worked in a neigh- ‘bor’s vineyard in the valley below. “So, Mathieu! That rock belong to you ?”’ “That shelving rocky slope, uncle? Yes, it fell to my lot. Well, one must not speak 1ll of ene’s own blood, but the others took care of themselves; this was good enough for rattle pated Mathieu.” He laughed, but rubbed his head ruefully. “Good enough!” cried the old man in an excited tone, ‘good enough.” As Mathieu strode away to his work theremembrance of that “good enough” rung in his ears. He thought that perhaps the old man had lost his mind. Meantime the keen sighted old fellow was sitting in the doorway chuckling with amusement that hisgrand-nephew should be going away to work as a hir- ed man in his neighbor's vineyard. “Marie,” he cried. “Marie, come here. 1 love thee, child, thee and thine. Yet I tell thee, this kind Math- den of ours lacks wits.” “Wits!” shouted indignant Marie. “Ay, wits,” shrieked back the excit- ed old man. ‘Now, child,” he went on, more quietly. “Listen; be guided by me. You and I, and our six child- ren here, we will make a fortune for Mathieu, rightiunder his nose.” Here the old man pointed to Math- ieu’s field, a mere slanting rocky ledge, over which the goat climbed to browse on the sweet grass that sprung here and there from interstices, and which now lay basking in the sun. “There is our vineyard, my good Marie” “Make a vineyard there, uncle ! But where is the earth ?” The old man laughed. He pointed te the gorge, through which the moun- taia torrent rushed to the lake. *Ah!” cried Marie, afire with the idea, “I see, I see. 1 and the six chil dren’ “And the old unele,” he put in. “We shall make Mathieu a vine ard.” The children, brought up to carry the hotte (basket) on their backs and weights on their heads, began to yell with delight at their part of the work. Away they raced to the gorge, follow- ed by the uncle and the vigorous Marie. When Mathieu returned that even- ing he stared and rubbed his eyes. Sev- eral yards of the rock were covered with earth, and the old man was build- ing a wall at the bottom of the field. “What does this mean?’ cried he, a broad grin widening his rosy cheeks. “It mesns, cried Pierre,“that my wits shall so direct thy strong body that ere I die I shall set thee at work in thine own vinegard.” The idea once suggested approved it- self to Mathieu as an experienced work- er in a vineyard. “But,” thought he, as he raobed his eyes and looked about him, why did I never think of this for mysel{?” He barely waited to swallow his soup, so eager was he to plant foot on bis own vineyard. “Keep your own counsel,” said the old man. ‘Go forth as usual to thy werk and leave us here to carry up the earth. Kvery haur will add to the pile. By autuma you shall plant the vines.” Ah, how carefully all worked nor on moonlight nights did Mathieu go to bed at all. The rich earth, carried from the glacier above by the resistless force of the torrent, lay there in the gorge ready for the laborer. “Only one more load,” would Math- jeu cry, as Marie called to him. “‘Sure- ly thou wilt not grumble that I go this once again?” Who more gay than Marie, as she toiled up the steep path of the ravine with the hotte on her back? “I brought my Mathieu no portion, nothing but my own hard working hands,” said she,*and how he hasslav- ed to earn us bread, this good Math- ea!” “All very well, but he has naught to complain of in his wife,” said the cheery old man, “You have brought him luck, you and the children.” By this time che miracle was accom- plished—the slanting rock was cover- ed with the greenery of vines and large luscious grapes caught the earliest and the latest rays of the sun. “So,” cried he gayly, “not a trace of the blight that afflicts our friends ia the valley. Up here at least we have God's air pure. His blessing, too, will be with thee, my children, who of your small substance took in a homeless wretch in his old age.” “Why, good uncle, we took in our good fortune with thee,” shouted Mathieu heartily. “Ay, ay; my wits are worth some thing, I know,” nodded Pierre, slyly. “But now, good Mathien, I make thee confessor. I am no uncle of thine. In truth, I have no kin. In my youth I met your grandfather and perhaps saved him from a cruel death. He made me promise to call upon him in case of need. He is dead. The ser vice I rendered lies buried in his grave. Blood is thicker than water, said I to myself. I'll be their uncle.” “Oho, oho!” laughed Mathieu, “and you think, then, that Marie and I do not know that we have no great-uncle ? Has not Mark the record written clear as print. But it’s all one to us—and better, too; for none of our blood ever boasted any brains.” Here the children laughed. Marie kissed the old man affectionately. “The good uncle has brought us lack, and”—— “Fame!” said Pierre proudly, “Math- ieu, grapes like these were never yet seen in this canton, and that I can tell you.” So said the honorable judges ap- pointed to visit the vineyards and re- port upon the condition of the grapes. Thry came up from the valley in grand procession, two and two. “What! a vineyard on that old rock I" cried Mathieu's brothers, who had been invited to be present. Pierre stood at the vineyard gate. His wrinkled old face had its rosy hue still, his keen eyes twinkled and with a lordly air he bowed to the judges, and threw back the gate. “Enter,” said he, waving his hand in welcome. Then he swaggered up and down, showing the finest bunches. “Here,” said hearty Mathieu, seiz- ing the old man and turning him to the judges, “behold the brains of the vineyard.” “And here,” cried Pierre, “are the faithful workers.” He darted to the bushes, behind which Marie stood blushing and the children were gath- ered, curiously peeping between the vine leaves at the strangers. It was a goodly sight. How Math- ieu talked and laughed and the broth- ers gloomed behind the ranks of the judges! “He will be the rich man of the fam- ily, the rattlepate, after all,” cried Mark, with a vicious look at the cheery old man of busy brain who headed the procession round the vineyard. They had to hear that Mathieu was adjudged the prize for a well kept vine- yard, that his grapes excelled any yet grown in the canton, and that he must wear the crown at the fete next week. “Not 1,” shouted Mathieu. “Ifany of us be crowned it must be uncle here.” The judges laughed. But Mathieu had his way, and the happy old man, with Mathieu's youngest child on his knee, was carried in procession through the village, which a few years before he had entered friendiess and homeless. His eyes were uplifted to the snowy peaks. His thoughts sped back to the days of his youth, such a dream now, so long ago, Was it indeed his own foot that had scaled the precipices? “Uncle, uncle!” cried Mathieu at his side, “the people are shouting in thy honor. Bow to them ; they expect so mnch of thee."—Ida M. Trotter tn Philadelphia Times. Smoking in Heaven. ‘One of the elders of the Second Bap- tist church, up on Third street, is strongly opposed to the use of tobacco, and never fails to score any of the church members that he finds indulg- ing in what he considers a sinful habit. Meeting an aged brother the other day with a very strong smelling, old clay pipe in his mouth he accosted him : “Brqdder Thomas, does you believe dat nothin’ unclean can enter de king- dom ?” “I does brudder.” “Den you kin reber enter, for your bref smells worser nor a slaughter house.” “Pat may be brudder, but when I goes to hebben I 'spects to leave my bref behind me.” : And the aged man passed on, peace- fully emoking, while the elder gazed after him in a dazed sort of way that was painful to see. When Three Aces Beat Four Kings. A Pacific coast minstrel, Billy Emer- son by name, once visited the Sandwich Islands and delighted King Kalakaua with his performances. The sovereign and the funny man became friends quickly, and the King asked Emerscn to the palace. A game of poker followed, of course, for if Kalakaua liked any- thing 1t was poker. Rumor had it that Emerson won quite a pile from the Hawaian ruler. That each held some strong hands was soon known in Honolulu, for the next night at the theatre Emerson put this conundrum to the end man: “When will three aces beat four kings?” The end man gave it up, and Emerson explained that he held the three aces, while the hand azainst him consisted of the king of clubs, the king of diamonds, the king of of spades, and the King Kalakaua. The royal poker player was in the theatre, and, true to his easy good nature, laughed heartily instead of frowning at the joke. Haspir--Groughter—I want to get some socks with a hole in them. Salesman— What's the idea. Groughter—1’ve been a bachelor for forty years, and they are the only kind I can wear. I'll call on his grandchildren. | MY NEIGHBOR'S CHICKENS. | 1 Of all the nuisances that make A rural iife accursed, My neighbor's chickens take the cake For being just the worst. I rise betimes to plant a bed— As soon as I'm away Those beng, hy the big rooster led, March in and spend the day. And when I hasten home at night To see my labors erowned, Those chickens, with a eyclones’s might, Have scratched my pretty ground. My wife the baby leaves alone To shoo those hens away, Butas she eannot throw a stone They laugh at her and stay. Around my house is little seen But dusty holes and dirt; They eat my grass before its green And all my flowers hurt. My neighbor has a garden, too, And Keeps it looking fine, For he has trained his pirate crew To fly right into mine. In case I shoot the feathered plagues I go to jail alack; If in my yard they drop some eggs My reighbor wants them back. Beneath my window ere the dawn His rooster comes to crow, Till I, half erazy, seek the lawn, And chase it with a hoe. War Time Wooing Ended. A Yankee Fugitive Finally Marries the Girl Who Saved His Life. PrrrsBure, Jan. 22.—Milo Gaston and wife arrived at the Union depot Tuesday night from Elberton, Ga., and the halo ef romance which clings around them has been exper enced by few and is known to a still smaller number. They were met oy Mr. and Mrs. James McLain, of Chartiers. Mr. McLain is an oil well contractor and Mrs. McLain is a sister of Mr. Gaston, While waiting for the train to arrive Mr. McLain told the following story of his brother-in-law’s life: “In 1862 Gaston, who is a native of New Hamp- shire, joined a regiment from that State, I think it was the Thirty-seventh, and went to the tront. He was afterwards captured, and while being taken to An- dersonville prison he succeeded in mak- ing his escape. He wondered about through woods and swamps for nearly three weeks, when, famished with hun- ger and crazed by what he believed to be continued pursuit, he decided to give himself up. One evening he shambled out of the thicket in which he had been lying all day on a couch of wet brush and made his way to u large old fash- ioned southern home. A cold, driz- zling rain had set in, and caring little whether he lived or died he walked bold- ly up the driveway and knocked at the door. The place was deserted. A few minutes later he became conscious that some one was scrutinizing him from a window a few feet away. He was final- ly admitted by a young woman who carried a revolver in ber hand. She got him some supper. When she had lis- tened to his story, she said she was alone in the house, but expected her father, who was home (rom the Confederate army on a sick leave, to return at any time frome calling on a neighbor. She seemed to take an interest in Gaston and laid him in a dark corner of the garret. There she fed him for two weeks, and showed him how to get in and out at night without arousing her parents. He finally escaped. After the war he returned to Elberton and heard that his benefactress had married. Gaston is now a railroad contractor, and built a section of the Buffalo, Rochester and Pittsburg railroad. Last summer he was building a branch on the Georgia Pacific when he learned that his old love was a widow and had a family of five children. Heimmediately went to the old home, near Elberton, made him- self known and the result was a mar- riage. They are now on their way to Mr. Gaston’s home in New York.” Mr. Gaston is a matter-of-fact sort of a man and did not seem to regard his adventure as out of the ordinary. He corroborated the story told by Mr Me- Lain, and said: “It is better late than never, you know, as I told Mrs. Cham- bers, who is now my wife, and if I can in any way return some of the favors which she did for me I am going to do it. If it had not been for her I would have died 1n asouthern swamp or pri- son, and I told her she ought not to let me roamaround alone unprotected in my old age.” How fhe Pyramids Were Built. The building of the pyramids of Egyptis still a wonder—still a matter of mere speculation. These pyramids— once one of the seven wonders of the world—are seventy in number, and stand about six miles in a straight line from Cairo. The largest, entitled the Pyrawid of Cheops, covers eleven acres of ground. Itis 480 feet high. Her- odotus states that 100,000 men were em- ployed forty years in constructing this pyramid, which covers a square whoae side is 768 feet. Itis built of vast blocks of stone, brought from - quarries many miles distant. One is that they were erected for as- tronomical purposes, but the generally accepted belief is that they were sepul- chres. Whenever an Kgyptian king began his reign he began to construct a pyramidical tomb—not very large at first , in order to secure its being finish- od before his death. Once built new layers of stone were put upon it on all side, and thus the longer the reign the larger the pyramid. The difference in the size of these structures is thus ac- counted for. Alway in the centre of the structure a small room was reserved, to which ac- cess could be « btained from a secret gallery from without, and in this sepul- chral nook there is a colin of red granite in which human remains were once de- posited. The, outer casing of each pyra- mid was of polished black marble, set in a cement which is as hard as the stone itself. This casing has fallen from the sides of the pyramid of Cheops | and it is a favorite but fatiguing feat’ tor tourists to climb up to the top, which is a flat table of stone thirty-two | feet square.— Thomas J. Bowditch, in Troy Times. Mr. Slimpurse— What! Want to get a ..ew maid for Fashion Beach ? Why don’t you take the one you have ? Mrs. Slimpurse—She knows how we live when at home. Heroic Davy Crockett. Incidents wn the Career of a 3lust Re- | markable Man. Colonel David Crockett was a most remarkable character, a man far in ad- vance of tae times in which he lived. Reared in the humbler walks of life, but endowed with a strong will power, an unremitting perseverance, and a brave heart, he arose to distinction and re- nown. He was born at Limestone, on the Nolachucky river, in eastern Tennessee, on August 17, 1786. His father, sol- dier in the Revolutionary war, was the owner of a tavern on the road from Abingdon to Knoxville, where David passed his boyhood. Colonel Crockett’s education consisted of exactly two months and four days’ schooling, he be- ing otherwise self-educated. In the Creek warof 1813-14 he was found fighting in the ranks as a private soldier under general Jackson. When peace was declared he settled on Shoal Creek, a desolate region of the State. A community of reckless characters hav- ing flocked together at this place, it was necessary to establish a temporary govern ment, and Colonel Crockett was elected a magistrate. a successful race by shooting at matches and reciting amusing stories. He was twice re-elected, but devoted himself principally to bear hunting, un- til, in the year 1827, when he was ¢lect- ed to Congress by the party of Andrew Jackson. At Washington he obtained a notoriety for the eccentricity of his manners and language, Of his life while at the capital many amusing stor- ies are told. On one oceasicn he was tion with a fellow member from chusetts, when a drove of mules seen to pass. “There go some of your constituents,” remarked his companion. “Yes,” replied Crockett, “they are going to Massachusetts to teach school.” This incident is typical of the man. Gifted with an exhaustless iund of humor, he was always ready to turn a joke to his own account. In 1829 he was again elected to Con- gress, but soon afterward changed from a partisan to an oppenent of Jackson's administration. For this course he encountered the most bitter apposition from the admin- istration in his next race, bur in spite of all honorable means anil the dishonor- able method of gerrymandering he was triumphantly re-elected in 1831. The dime novelist and such penny writers have so exaggerated the doings and sayings of Colonel Crockett that great numbers have come to regard him more as a mythical than a real charac- ter. But their statements have been en- tirely misleading, and itis only neces- sary to read his public utterances in or- der to be convinced that he was a man of marked ability. During Colonel Crockett’s term in the House a bill was brought forward ap- propriating several thousand dollars for the benefit of widow of a certain naval officer. There seemed to be a unani- mous opinion in favor of the measure, and the Speaker was about to put the question when Crockett arose. Every- one expected to hear one of ais charac- teristic ¢ peeches in support of the bill. He commenced : “Mr. Speaker-—I have as much re- spect for the memory of the deceased, and as much sympathy for the suffer- ings of the living, as any man in this House; but we must not permit our re- spectg for the dead, nor our sympathy for a part of the living, to lead us to an act of injustice to the balance of the living. Mr. Speaker, the deceased lived long after the close of the war ; he was in office to the day of his death, and I have never heard that this government was in arrears to him. This Govern- ment can owe no debts but for services rendered, and at a stipulated price. If it is a debt, how much is it? If itis a debt, we owe.more than we cun ever hope to pay for. We owe the widow of every soldier who fought in the war of 1812 precisely the same amount. There is a woman in my neighborhood, the wid- ow of as gallant a soldier as ever shoul- dered a musket. He fell in battle. She is as good in every respect as this lady, and just as poor. She is earning her daily bread by her daily labor, and it I were to introduce a bill to appropriate $5,000 or $10,000 for her benefit I should be laughed at, and my bill would not get five votes in this House. ‘There are thousands of widows in this country just such as the one I have spoken of, but we never hear of these large debts we owe them. “We can not, without the grossest corruption, appropriate this money as the payment of a debt. We have not the semblance of authority to appropri- ate it as a charity. Mr. Speaker, I have said that we have the right to give as much money of our own as we please. I am the poorest man on the floor. I cannot vote for this bill, but I will give one week’s pay to the object,- and if every member will do the same 1t will amount to more than the bill asks.” “the bill was lost by a large majority. After finishing his third term in Con- gress Crockett sought a new life and career in Texas, then in revolt against Mexico, and it was at the sublime de- fense of the Alamo that he met his death. . in conversa- Massa- was The story of that dreadtul siege is too | Not a | familiar to need any repetition. defender lived to tell the tale terrible battle. Neither ancient nor modern history affords a grander exhibition than was shown on that crimson day, when the blood of the Spartan bard became the of that seed from which sprung Texan indepen- | dence. THE Bregrst Texas WHeAT FieLp. —-A company of capitalists has purchas- ed 10,000 acres of land on the railroad at | Vista, and will convert the entire body Much of winter, into one immense wheat field. the land ean be broken this | Twelve gang plows have been ordered, and the breaking of the land will com- mence as soon as these arrive. A wheat field 10,000 acres in extent is so far un- | known in Texas. A was shot Tuesday burglary. young negro named Snyder and captured at Reading on evening while attempting a A Time Saver, Just Gave Them What They Wanied and Made Them Happy. I was in the office of a Chicago real estate and loan agent the otherday, and had scarcely got seated when a woman was admitted and asked him for a sub- scription to some charity. “With the greatest of pleasure, ma’- am,” he repiied, and producing a check book he filled out a check for $10. She thanked him very sweetly as she with- drew, and it was only live minutes later when a man entered and a.ked for a contribution to some poor children’s | fund. : “Certainly—only too glad,” repiied the agent, and he wrote another check for $10. After we had been interrupted four He was soon afterward a | candidate for the legislature, and made | times, and he had cheerfully written four cheeks, TI said to him: “You certainly deserve thetitle of a philanthropist.” Well perhaps.” “But I notice that you ask no ques- tions and take everything for granted. Have you no fear of veing swindled 77 “None whatever.” “Well, the peojle of Chicago must be an honest crowd.” “Oh, it isn’t that, my dear sir. me’ —— Here a lady entered and asked for a contribution to assist in giving a free excursion to a Sunday shcool, and he wrote her a check for $15 and waved. her out, and continued : “Let me explain. All those checks are worthless, as they are drawn on a bank where I have no funds, I do it to save time. All the callers come prepar- ed to argue and explain and contend,and each. one of them would sit for half an hour. By giving these checks I secure a great reputation around the block as a philanthropist and a well heeled man, and it costs me nothing. When’’—— Here he paused to fil out a check for $20 for the establishment of a sailors” bethel and then finished. “When the checks are presented they are found to be worthless, and those holding them either get mad or see the joke. In either case they never re- turn, nor do they give me away. Try it, my boy. Raves time, money and gab, ard it won’t be a month before you'll be satisfied that yon are doing charity a better service than if handing out the i cold cash.” — New York Sun. Let Still He Adhered To His Principle. A clean, shrewd-looking gentleman stepped into a street car on Pennsyl- vania avenue yesterday afternoon and took a seat inside. The conductor, who was in a conversational mood, turned to a gentleman who stood on the platform, and said : “You saw that man who just got on? tt Vag. “Well, [ saw him do the foolishest thing one day last winter that any man ever did.” “What was 1t ?” “He got on my car and gave me a dime outon the platform. I handed him a nickle and in trying to put it into his pocket he dropped iv and it rolled off into the slush. He madea dive for it, and in jumping off the car fell down and daubed himself all over. I stopped the car, but he said to me go on, that he was going to find his nickel. So he pawed around in the soft snow till he found it, hopped aboard the next car, paid the nickel to that conductor, and reached home one car later and a good deal madder and mussier than he would if he had stayed on my car and let the nickel go.”’— Washington Post, A Pampered Seaside Dog. One of the amusing sights on the porch of a prominent hotel is to see an ultra-fashionable woman with her pet dog, and the manner in which she dresses it up and fondles it. Madame’s dog constitutes her only escort, except a maid, whose principal duties seem to be to keep a vigilant eye on the animal. The dog is an intensely ugly specimen, and its general appearance is made still homelier by the ridiculous manner in which its mistress persists in having it decorated. Whenever madame appears with a light, fluffy wrap, with dress to match, ber canine companion is par- tially enveloped in a cover of similar material. If madame should don a darker hued garment the dog is like- wise arrayed. Kach change made by madame in the course of the day is fol- lowed by similar changes in the raiment. The little beast is never permitted to roam at large, being either in its mis- tress’ arms or in charge of its attendant. Madame and her pet arethe star boar— ders at the hotel. Gen, Butler's Hat. In the United States district court in the Federal buildiug no lawyer is better known than Gen. Buttler. The court officers hear of his appearance with much the same feeling that they receive the announcement of the arrival of the judge. As soon as his ponderous figure, sway- ing from side to side, appears bearing down toward the court room they scurry about arranging the chair at the coun- sel’s table and assist him in removing his outer garments in a manner that { shows their regard for him. Gen. But- i ler’s hat is a curious ¢r.icle. It is just | hike one that Buffalo Bill would be ac- | cused of wearing out on the plains. It is probably the most abused of the gen- eral’s belongings. The manner in which I he jerks it off his head, slaps it down on the counsel’s table and drops his heavy suck upon it detrininedly, makes one wonder why it does not disappear sud- denly some day out of spite. It has stuck by him though for years,just like his faculties of mind, and perhaps will be buried with him.-—Boston Advertiser. He Warrep.—Ailen O. Myers was lecturing in an up country town. He had been speaking ten minutes, when a man in the front row arose and started to walk out. The lecturer was not taken aback by this expression of disapproval, but said. “Hold on, my friend, I'll join you outside in a couple of minutes.” The audience laughed, and the man return- ed to his seat without a clove.—Cincin- nati Commercial Gazette.