> Deuoceatic:Allatcmin Bellefonte, Pa, December 19, 1890. THEY VOTED STRAIGHT IN KANSAS. What Mary Meant When She Said “Rats” te John. Kansas, NOVEMBER, 5, 1890. (“The Women Did It.”—JoHN SHERMAN.) Twas one of them “fool farmers ;’* yes, I'll own it like a man ; ‘There was plenty of us fashioned on the same eculiar plan ; And I’ve lived out here in Kansas more than five and twenty years, y A growin’ poor and poorer as it certainly ap- pears. 1 seldom read the papers; I worked too hard for that ; : And never knew why I got lean while other men got fat ; I didn’t fool with polities; I had too much to o ’ But I always voted as Ishot and as they told me to. The day before election, jest imagine my dis- tress When I ketched my wife areadin’—now, whatever would you guess ?— A free trade publication, and, to make it worse she said She'd read it regular each night before she went to bed. And, do you know, that wife of mine jest faced me up and down That farmers slave to make a few monopolists in town? I always try te get around these warm domes- tic spats, But when I praised Rrosegiion, she laughed and answered “Rats,” 1 bristled oF ; it kindled all the sentiments of strife : To think this free trade stuff should be cor- ruptie’ of my wife. I quit herithen and there before her argument was through, As every good protectionist makes ite rule to 0. That night we had a camp-fire and our con- gressman was there ; We gave him “John Brown’s Body” when he went to take the chair ; I wore my old blue uni.orm to spite the Dem- ocruts, But all the time I wondered what my Mary meant by “Rats.” Our congressman was eloquent, he made a stirrin’ speech ; I could dlmost see the battle smeke and hear the bullets screech ; And when he bade us vote as we had shot at Malvern Hill, We rose with one accord and cried with one acclaim, “We will.’ We sang the good old war songs and we ate a mess 0’ beans, And we passed the evenin’ pleasantly, recallin’ bloedy scenes; And we took ihe straightout tickets and we Gg em on our hats, Butall the time I wondered what my Mary meant by “Rats.” When I reached home I noticed that my Mary wore a smile, Which seemed to me as indieatin’ storms ahead or bile ; . To head her off I said: “You'll call me early mother dear, For to morrer’l be the liveliest day free trade will have this year. Next mornin’ jest at sun up, :es I woke and rubbed my eyes, A wonderin’ what she meant by “Rats,” I saw to my surprise My clothes and hat and boots all ranged in order en the floor, And bearin’ each a card I'd swear I never saw before. My flannel shirt displayed this sign : “Taxed 95 per eent :’’ My trousers “Taxed 100”—so this was what “Rats” meant . My vest said “Taxed 100,” and my shoes “Paxed 25: My coat and hat “200,” with “Protection makes us thrive.” I went to :fill the basin and I noticed as 1 came, “Taxed 45 per cent’—Great Sectt! the towel said the same. The soap was marked at “20 ;” as. dropped it on the floor, I chanced to see a scuttle full of coals, chalk- ed “24.” I passed into the kitchen and it gives me pain to state That my wife had on a woolen dress stamped “only 58: And in shooing out a guinea hen she made a little dive Which showed a pair of stockings with a card marked “35° The baby in hislittle bed was lyin’ fast asleep : I always held the little chap as most uncom- mon cheap; But when I saw them cards on blanket, pillow, crib and sheet, I felt a lumprise in my throat ; I knew that was beat. ! No matter where I went I struck them pesky little signs ; The stove, the plates, the knives, the forks, the window sash aud blinds, The seissors, needles, thread, all&ore that terrible per cent ; Bigosh,T didn’t dave te ask what card was on the rent. That was the soberest meal I ever a te in all my life ; And as I left the table, in remarkin’ to my wife That I was goin’to the polls, she helped me with my coat, And said : “I reckon, John, [ needn't tell you how te wote.” [walked down to my votin’ place; it looked like every yard “ Was full of farmin’ implements which bore a little eard, And seemed:to say from. plaugh to spade, from thresher.down to axe: “Good mornin’, John, and don't forget the tariff is a tax.” I voted straight—0, yes ne