Bellefonte, Pa., December 5, 1890. SUCCESS VERSUS FAILURE. Bu-zceed, and the world will help you But fail and you struggle alone; For all mankind have faults of a kind, And each has his own to atone. Get wealth, and friends will surround you, Grow poor, and then where are they ? Ask not for their aid if your debts are not paid For each has his own way to pay. Make a show, then men may know you, Look shabby, they'll quick turn aside ; But When oneis dressed he may pass for the est— Even crime you may hide with pride. Have comforts, and friends share with you, Have none, and how can they share ? For they have to live and can’t always give To those who not oft have to spare. Buceeed, and the loved ones greet you, But fail, and aggr.eved are you met ; Oh, win—just win! then scarce any sin That they all may not soon forget. Then wife and daughter, mother, son Have kisses to give at the door, But rarely kind word has ever been heard For'him to the home-door poor. —James Barkley, in America. OLD HUMPHREY'S BELL. HARRY C. FULTON. Mr. Giles was seated alone in the tap room of St. Agnes inn, with his feet on the table, a half-filled mug of ale in his hand, and was looking through the open doorway at the fad- ing sunlight, and wishing that some customer might call and drop a few shillings into his till. He was about finishing the ale, when the sound of steps without caused him to remave his feet from the table and to assume a dignified and businesslike attitude, by standing with his hands behind his back, and with an indifferent leok on his face, as though independent of the entire world. “Good evening, Mr. Giles,” said the new-comer. : “Good evening, Parker, good even- ing,” answered Mr. Giles. “Ceme in. ‘What will you have and what's the news?” “Ale, Giles, and a bit of cheese. You ask for the news; then you haven't heard it?” “Not a bit, What is it?” “Old Humphrey.” : “What of him ?”’ asked Mr, ‘Giles. “Dead.” “Dead !” “Yes, dead,” repeated Mr. Parker, as he brought his hand down on the table with emphasis, as though driv- ing the last nail into old Humphrey's coffin. “When did he die!” asked Mr. Giles. “An hour ago.”’ “Then many a secret dies with him, and I know some of them,” said Mr Giles with a very knowing and myste- rious shake of the head. “What do you mean!” asked Mr. Parker. “Nothing,” was the very unsatisfac- tory answer “It must be something ” “No matter. What has he done with his money 2’ asked Mr. Giles. “Divided it among some kinfolk in Wales, all excepting one hundred pounds.” “And pray, what's that for?” “For the good of the parish,” an- swered Mr. Parker. : “Then Heaven help the parish!” “Giles, what do you mean 7” “Nothing, Parker, nothing. And -what is the money for ?” “For a bell to be placed in the va- cant tower of St. Agnes Church.” “Protection protect us! If it even rings there it will be the death-knell of the church,” said Mr. Giles. “Mr. Giles, will you be kind enough to explain yourself? What de you mean ?”’ “That the parish musn’t touch the money.” “Why?” Mr. Giles looked about the room be- fore answering, and then said: “Be- cause it is cursed.” “Cursed, (Giles! cursed, did you say ?" “Yes cursed ; every penny of it. It will bring only mischief.” “Why cursed? How?" asked ithe other. “There is blood on it. Red blood 18 on it, I tell vou.” “I don’t wnderstand,” said Mr. Parker. “No doubt you don’t understand. There is a great deal that you don’t understand, Parker, a vast, great deal. ! Bat I teli you that I will never enter the church if a bell purchased with old Humphrey's money is ever hung in its tower !”’ “You are very wrong, Giles. You are too hard on old Humphrey, who may have been a little wild a few years back, but of late, yen know, he has “been a sober und a well-behaved sub- ject.” “1 know he has, and 1 know a great deal more,” was the answer. “What is che mater with you, (Giles? ~ There is something on your mind, and I say ont with it.” “Parker!” “What, Giles 2” Mr. Giles again looked about the room, under the table, and out of the door before asking : “Do you see that road before this inn?" 4: do.” Mr. Giles dropped his voice into a low whisper, and anspered: “Hum- phrey ” “Humphrey I” repeated the aston- ished Mr.Parker. “How do you know?" “I know.” “But how?” “Listen,” said Mr. Giles, as he took his friend by the arm and drew him nearer. “About four years ago Hum- phrey was in here alone with me, as you are now, and had been drinking a great deal as you have not. He was very talkative, and so drunk that he seemed to mistake me for some one else—for some companion of twenty years before—and he talked about rob- bery and murder.” “Well,” put in Mr. Parker. “He said that he had been the lead- er of the murdering gang,” continued Mr. Giles, “and he kept referring to me to corroborate his stories.” “Why haven't you told of this be- fore ?”’ asked Mr. Parker. “I didn’t dare to so long as Hum- phrey lived. Indeed, no. My life wouldn't have been worth that pewter pot if I had. Humphrey was too drunk to remember what he had said, and I didn’t propose reminding him of it.” “I rather think he was so drunk that be imagined the whole thing,” said Mr. Parker, “Think of it as you will, think of it as you will, Parker. You will see, though, mark my words, mischief, and mischief alone, will come out of that bell. 1 have nothing more to say about it, and will have nothing more to ao with it.” “You are silly, Giles. Because Humphrey may have done wrong is no reason that the church should not aec- cept the bell.” “Have your own way, Parker, have your own way. But I tell you that the money came through evil, and that the bell will bring evil.” “Youare a croaker,” said Mr.Parker. “The bell will be swinging in the tower of St. Agnes before two months, and on Christmas day it will ring as merrily as any bell in all England.” “We'll see, Parker, we'll see.” So the conversation ended for that day, and the subject was not mention- ed again for almost a month, when one night, while the two friends were seat- ed at a table in St. Agnes’s inn, dis- cussing the ditferent brewings of ale, the clerk of the parish entered. “Good evening, Mr. Miller,” said Mr. Giles. ‘Take a sgat and some ale, and tell us the Londen news. When did you get home 2” “This afternoon.” “What news about the casting of the bell?” asked Mr. Parker. “Bad news,” answered *he clerk. “I told you so,” said Mr. Giles. “I told youso. What is it, Miller? Out with it. “I went to see them pour the bell,” replied the clerk, “and all was ready at three o'clock yesterday. The melt- ed metal was ina huge pot that some workmen were swinging by a derrick into place to pour, when a chain part. ed, and the molten mass was spilled onto two of the men, killing them in- stantly.” “What did I tell you, Parker? What did I tell you?’ asked Mr. Giles. “Didn’t I say that it would bring evil ? Here are two good lives sacrificed, and I fear that there wiil be more if the work 18 continueed.” “They will try again next week,” said Mr. Milier. “They had better stop where they are. They had better stop,” answered Mr. Giles. Mr. Parker had nothing to say. He appeared very much affected by what he bad heard, and began to fear that, perhaps, his friend Giles was right. But on that day two weeks he had for- gotten his fears, and, entering the inn, in an exultant tone said: “The bell is here, Mr. Giles, and will be hung on the morrow. It is so large that we must build a scaffolding, and take it up outside of the tower and let it down roeh theroof. You mustcome and help.” “Not I, Parker, not I. I wouldr’t touch a hand to it for all the wealth in the parish.” “You are very silly, Mr. Giles. But come and see us hang it. There will be a fire in the church stove to keep your fingers warm.” “I wouldn’t go into the church after the bell touches the grounds for all that could be offered to me, but I will be there to see.” “That is right, Mr. Giles ; come and hear the bell ring a merry laugh at your fears.” On the next morning the bell wasde- posited at the foot of St. Agnes’s tower, and the men who had gathered at the church were warming themselves at the fire inside, waiting tor those who had not yet arrived ; all excepting Mr, Giles, who stood at some distance from the ower, looking upon the bell 1n a frightened manner, as though it was some sort of brass-jawed and iron- tongued wild beast ready to spring up- on him. To Mr. Giles the bell was not a senseless mass of metal, but the incarnation of old Humphrey's evil deeds ; and he was shaken by the very thought of its blasphemons voice call- ing the worshipers together, While he stood shaking his head at the bell, Mr. Parker came behind him and struck him onthe shoulder. He start- ed as though he thought that the bell had something to do with the blow he felt “It is the same road ?” “What same road ?"’ “The same road that has been there | as long as we can remember.” “Certainly. But what of the road 2" “Can you remember, Parker? Do ‘you recali the robberies that were com- mitted on that roal twenty years ago?’ “Yes.” “And the murders?” “Yas, “Who was the'robber 2" asked Mr. Giles. “I don’t know." “Who was the murderer “I don’t know.” : | “I do,” said Mr. Giles, “Who?” ! treasure, “Good morning, Giles,” said Mr. Parker, “don” stand freezing here in the eold morning air. Come in and warm yourself, and give us a hand, and we will have the bell in place in no time,” “No, Parker, no. I wonldn’t touch a hand to the thing for all of the royal And 1 would as soon think of entering the lower regions as that church.” “Just as you please,” replied Mr, Parker. “Stay where you are for half an honrand you will see the beli swing- ing and hear its voice laughing at you.” Mr. Giles was left alone, and his friend went into the church and soon came out again followed by the others, aud preparations were made to hoist the bell 1ato position. Mr. Parker took his place on the top of the tower beside an impromptu crane that had been erected, ‘with its projecting arm reaching out beyond the wall, and holding suspended a rope that was to draw up the bell. All was made ready. Ove end of the rope was se- curely fastened to the bell, while the other end, which had been run over a pulley on the crane above, was secured toa windlass on the ground. Eight men seized the arms of the windlass and walked slowly around it. The bell began to rise and soon was swinging clear and then began to ascend. High- er and higher it went while Mr. Parker allowed the rope to pass through his hands, and gave directions to the men below. Mr. Giles stood speechless, shading his eyes, and watching this monstor of a bell suspended by the neck and swinging between sky and earth, and the thought came into his mind that such should have been the fate of old Humphrey. The bell reached the top of the tow- er, and, slowly rising was soon above it. Mr. Parker tock a firm hold of the rope, and called for help to swing it over the parapet, that it might be low- ered through the tower roof to the bear- ings prepared for if. He looked down at the motionless Mr. Giles, and waved his ‘hand exul- tantly. Was it only imagination that caused Mr. Giles to think that the crane was vibrating, or wasit actually moving? He thought he saw it lean- ing toward the church, and Mr. Parker appeared to be using ali his strengtn to stay it. It was not imagination. The crane was toppling and. being dragged by the weight of the bell. What was Mr. Parker's strength as compared with the gravity of that mass of brass? Nothing. The fasten- ings once loosenen, a hundred men could not have held it. It must go. Mr. Giles saw this, and cried out with alarm. The men below'jumped from under, and the ponderaus bell and rope and crane swung partly around, with Mr. Parker still ciinging on. He loosened his hold, bat too late. He bad been dragged beyond his balance, and conscious man went down with senseless metal. Not onto the ground, but onto aud through the chareh roof. The men rushed inside of the church and the cry of fire was raised. They hurried tor water. The bell had struck the stove, crushing it to the groun i, and scattered its coals, which had lighted the surrounding woodwork and soon filled the church with flame and smoke. Water came too late, The church was doomed, and the men could do nothing but stand by and watch the de vouring flames destroy their house of worship, and leave nothing standing save a few jagged pieces of wali. “I told you so; I told you so,” said Mr. Giles. “Poor Parker, he wouldn't believe me, and now where is he? Dead! His life is sacrificed, and the church is destroyed, all on account of that accur- sed bell, which I knew could never bring aught but evil.” When the fire subsided Mr. Parker's bell, which was cracked from rin. to top, and lay on its side deeply sunk in- to the ground. Nota man was found who would touch it, and there it was left amid the rains of Si. Agnes, and there it lies to this day on the ground that is cursed, and which it has made a place to be avoided, especiaily after nightfall, ex- cepting by the ghost of old Humphrey, which is said to haunt the spot.— Chi- cago Daily News. “The Goose Honks High.” “Do you know,” said Captain S. H. Jones, ‘‘the saying, ‘Everything is love- ly and the goose hange high,’ is not cor- pict 2! ‘ “tNo: why 77? “It should be, ‘The goose honks high.’ You know that the wild goose, in passing south at the beginnig of the cold season, utters a peculiar note, ‘honk,’ and from that fact originated the saying. People in the interior have perverted it into the goose ‘hangs’ in- stead of ‘honks’”’ Captain Jones is a South Carolinian to the mannor born, and bears the weight of sixty-one years with the same easy nonehalaice that he bore the old double length saber that hangs in his room, which he wielded in many a wild dash with Wade Hampton in the cam- paigns of Virginia during the late war. So, his word is good authority in re- gard to the goose “honking” instead of “hanging” high, for he has heard the note uttered by this peculiar bird many and many a time as the wanderer soared aloft above the rice fields of Carolina.— Atlanta Constitution. A Lucky Widow. The luckiest woman in Kansas City is buxom young Widow Blossom, pro- prietress of the great Union Depot res- taurant who feeds 2,000 people daily at 50 cents a head fora good square meal, and owns a three-story hotel across the street where part of them may sleep if so minded. The lamented Mr. Blossom located in the Union Depot several years ago and had some little trouble in making both ends meet. Expenses were high, and for a time it looked as though he would have to abandon the enterprise to some one with more capi- tal. He held on, however, and after the tide turned made money rapidly. Then the poor man died, but his hand some widow carries on business at the same old stand and is yearly laying AWAY & snug sum, estimated all the way from twenty to thirty thousand dollars. She would marry any day, but like most woman with money, fears to wed a fortune-seeker. ——-Life in the little German village of Strobeck, in the Hartz Mountains, is almost entirely given up to chess play- ing. Even the children in the schools are proficient in the ancient and royal game. : burned bones were found beside the: THE SNOW BIRD. Winter iscoming, Winter is coming ; ‘* Birds know 1t, skies know it, hearts know it. Sleep again, snow again, drifted so deep again, Over each brave Spring poet Sing the old year with his beard of gray— He looketh at you so sadly ; Is ita masque that the robes of May Fit his gaunt limbs so’badly ? } “Love again, ‘nest again, sing again, young again,” Hark ! tis a Lear gone crazy— Autumn will soothe him with wine and with truth. And golden-rod give for daisy. Winter is coming, Winter 1s coming; Birds know it, skies know it, hearts known it, Weary-winged snow bird, fly o’er the sea Andbreak the news to the poet. —@Grace Duffie Roe. Horace Greeley’s Ham. After the Tribune had moved its of- fices to Spruce and Nassaw streets,in the old building, Mr. Rhoades came down one morning about 9 o’clock and saw a big ham lying on the heater. Franklin J. Ottarson, the city editor,came in and said : “Dave, whose ham is that ?”’ “T don’t known, Ot,” ”’ was the reply. “I only know that when I came into the office that ham was there “Give it to me,” said “Ot.” “Nothing cf the kind,’ said Rhoades. If you want itcome around and get it.” Ottarson promptly went around and took it. At 12 o'clock Mr. Greeley came along and said : “Dave, where is my ham ?” “Your ham ! Get up to Ottarson’s as quick as you can,probably you will find it in the pot, boiling.” “Well, confound you,” said Mr. Greeley, using more vigorous language, however. “Why did you give Ottarson that ham ?”’ “He took it,” was the reply. “Ottar- son came down and asked for the bam. 1 wouldn’t give it to him, and ke took it. » Next day Mr. Greely said : “Con- found you, you gave ‘Ot’ that ham.” “Nothing of the kind 1” “ tO¢’ says you did !”’ ““He’s not telling the truth.” Shortly afterward Mr. Greeley un- burdened his mind to his associates, in words something like these: “You lot of thieves, I'll have to pin my shirt on my back if I don’t want to lose 1t among you !”’ Sharp Knives for the Kitchen. The pathway of the average cook is seldom if ever rose strewn, and when necessity obliges her to put up with “‘makeshifts” of the ordinary Kitchen, do not blame her too severely if the weeds of discontent spring up and gain a strong foothold. No workman, be he carpenter, joiner, mason or decorator, can do perfect acceptable work without appropriate tools, neither can a cook work as fast oras well with inconven- iences as she can in a properly appoint- ed kitchen. The one item of paring knives is a matter of gigantic importance to the cook, with her many “irons in the fire,” yet it is un exceptional case where a kitchen is found containing these neces- sities that are sufficiently sharp to pare with ease a turnip, an apple or a potato. In the average American kitchen they are “as dull as a hoe,” to use a common expression. t the happy possessor of one or two of your grandmother’s old tin case EE usld on to them with a deter- wiueu grip ; “their price is above ru- ies.” Much of the cutlery of the pres- ut day is so poor that it will not hold n edge. A good tile, polished down on a grind stone, with one end fastened into a wooden handle, the other sharp- ed off to a point, is said to be far better than any manufacturer's knife—the steel being of so much better quality. A small whetstone should be its constant companion. —Good Housekeeping. Looking for Brains. Burt G. Wilder, professor of physiolo- gy, comparatively anatomy and zoology in Cornell university, not satisfied with collecting over 4,000 specimens of entire animals, preserved in alcohol, has now decided to give his attention to a care- ful study of the human brain by means of actual observation, examination and experimentation. For this purp se he has secured the brains of several hun- dred persons who died recently. Among these are the brains of philoso- phers, artists, business men, even mur- derers. Dr. Wilder has discovered some curious facts from his study regarding a man’s accountability for his crimes. By a peculiar prosess Dr. Wilder hardens the brain before it is taken from the body. Dr. Wilder is anxious to. get the brains of some professors, and 1s on a still hunt for bequests of this kind.. One prominent college president has already presented his brains to professor Wilder on his decease, and several professors of leading educational institutions have left him their bodies as well as their brains. Dr. Wilder,among other things, shows that insanity in many cases springs fromlack of cerebral nutriment consequent on poor blood circulation. — New Orleans Picayune. Texas One-Tenth the Country. A great many people want to know how large texas is in area. They look in quite a number of alleged statistical abstracts and never find the same figures in two of them. The official figures of Texas area are 262,606 square miles— equal to about 8.9 per cent. of the en- tire area of the United States and ter- ritories. Texas is six times larger than New York, seven times as large as Ohio and 100,000 square miles larger than all the eastern and middle states, including Delaware and Maryland. Compared with the countries of Europe she has 34,000 square miles more than the Aus- trian empire, 62,000 square miles more than the German empire, and nearly 70,000 square miles more than France. ——The wildest dreamer could not have predicted a century ago anything 80 inconguous as has happened during the past month —the arrival at Jaffa, in far-off Asin Minor, of three American locomotives, to be used on the railroad to Jerusalem. Is tho dav approaching when the camel, that beast of burden for unknown ages, shall go to join the dodo and the megatherium ? ed Prices and Taxes, All the mouthpieces of monopoly are now denying that the McKinley bili will increase or bas increased prices Let the housewife” go to th: stores and see for herself. She will buy cheaper to-day, too, than se wil n:xt spring. Up to the moment the McKinley bill became law every one of these tooters for monopoly admitted that it would in- crease prices and defended it on the principle that cheap goods made cheap men. If the McKinley bill had not en- abled and compelled American manu- CEOTTT EN CIR Keep Your Word. “A story is told of a man who visited President Lincoln, and was in th: habit of making promises. more freely than ne kept them. In order to induce one of Mr. Lincoln’s bors to sit on his lap, the geatleman offered to give him a charm which he wore on his watch chain. The boy climbed upon bis lap. Finally the gentleman rose to go, when Mr. Lincoln said to him, “Are you not going to keep your promise to my boy?” “What promise?’ said the visitor. “You said you ‘would give facturers to increase prices what was it wanted for ? Who else asked for iv? There is a simple and an effective an- swer to all of the falsehoods now toid concerning this most infamous measure. It is this. dues not increase prices, if 1t does not intend to oppress the poor, if it does not take money from the many for the bene- fit of the few, why sustain it? Why not repeal it. the heavy campaign contributions of the Tariff beneficiaries to Republi- can campaign funds. It has increased prices. 1t will increase them still more. It can bedefended on no other ground. Nobody but monopolists asked for it. the benefits that it confers upon them let them agree to advocate its repeal. In no other way can the people escape its burdens. snake Swallowed the Baby. Cincinnati Enquirer. George Wharton, of Brown county, tells a blood-curdling snake story. Mus. William Huzelly, living in a log cabin, was making soap in the back yard, hav. ing kissed her sweet little six-months babe to sleep in the cradle. Presently the baby screamed, and she rushed in and was horror stricken to find a hideous b.acksnake of enormons size trying to swallow the child. It had engulfed the- band and swallowed it up to the arm-pit and was writhing in its contortions and efforts to make further progress. Grasp- ing the hideous reptile in the middle, it seemed to relax itz hold and disgorge the child’s arm, then turned upon its moth- er. She dashed it to the floor, and in her wild frenzy stamped it to death. It proved to be of the black racer species, seven feet two inches long, and measar- ing six and one-half inches in circum- ference. The baby lived, and the only inconvenience it suffered from its terri- ble experience was that its arm and hand were blistered as if'scalded in hot water. Insults. It is always better to pass a dozen in- tended insults without recognition than to take offense at a single uuintentional neglect or reflection. Misunderstandings are fruitful of more unkindly feelings in society than ever result from delib- erate ill-nature. Hundreds of friendships have been sundered by that egotistical sensitiveness which is aver looking for offense. We can all pointto certain persons who are thus morbidly sensi- tiveto a painful degree. They are dis- agreeable companions. We need not waste our precious time in pointing to them, however. We have each some- thing to guard in our own character. We are each inclined to take offense too easily. If we could remove this ever jealous watchfulness, society would be relieved of a very disagreeable feature. Then pass neglect and personal reflec- tion, as gracefully as possible, instead of being offended when no offense is in- tended. The Bridegroom Was Confused. A resident clergvman, who has a keen relish for humor, tells of an incident in the professional experience of a clerical friend. The clergyman referred to had been engaged to perform the marriage service, and the expeetant bride ‘and groom were standing hetore him in the church. Theservice had proceeded as far as the question : “Wilt thou take this thy wedded wife 7” No response being made, the question was repeated a little more emphatically : “Wilt thou take this woman to be thy wedded wife ?”’ “Eh—ah—beg pardon. speaking to me, sir 7” He was assured of the fact; and hav- ing regained consciousnes the twain were quickly made one.— Portsmouth Times. woman to be Were you Received 1,000 Volts and Lived. SAN Francisco, November 23—L. ‘W. Morgan, an employe of the Califor- nia Electric company, last night receiv- ed the full fo ce 01,000 volts of electri- city. He was repairing a wire on Kear- ney street and was torty-three feet from the sidewalk. He clung by his hands to the wire and when another workmen attempted to bring him down his grasp on the wire could not be broken. The wire was finally cut and Morgan drop- ped unconscious into the arms of his res- cuer, who brought him down safely to the ground. The palms of Morgan's hands were burned to the bone, and after regaining consciousness he suffered intense agony.. Morgan will recover. Tarowd HIS MoNEY.—Cosmopolite —So0 you've heen to Boston ? Rusticus—Oh, Yes. C—.Did you get to Faneuil Hall ? R,—Oh, Yes. C.—D«d you hear Phillips Brooks preach ? : R.—Oh, Yes. C.—Did you go up Bunker Hill Mon- ument ? R.—Oh, Yes. cent stores and hear the girls “Caawsh 7" R,—No. C.—Then you have simply thrown your money away.—Boston Courier. say They Weren't In It. asked the Sunday-school superintend- ent. It was the Sunday morning after Halloween, and twenty-seven hoys rose Tribune. If the new monopoly tariff | enrich favored interests, if it does not | That bill was passed as the price of | If they are now honest in disclaiming | C.—Well, did you go into one of those 5-° “Who carried off the gates of Gaza ?'" up at once and said they hadn’t had anything at all todo with it.— Chicago | him a charm.” “Oh, I could not,” said the visitor. “It is not only valu- I able, but I prize it as an heirloom.” “Give it to him,” said Mr. Lincoln | sternly. “I would not want him to | know that I entertained one who had | no regard for his word.” The gentle- { man colored,undid the charm and hand- "ed it to the boy, and went away with a i lesson which he was not likely soon to | forget, and which others may profit by ' learning. Beslow to promise, but never fail to ' perform a promise which you have made, A Turtle’s Toilet. “Never until this year have I been so glad to see the schoot begin,” said a prominent citizen. “Why ?” asked the curious friend. “Well,” replied the gentleman, “I shall tell you of a remarkable effect which a school a few miles from here has produced upon the lower animals. “A year ago ‘a young couple were boating on a pond in the vicinity of this school, when the youth, who was row- ing, took off his cuffs and laid them on the seat in the stern of the boat. “By an unfortunate twirl of her para- sol the young lady knocked the ariicles overboard, and the weight of the buttons took them straight to the bottom. “Now comes the wonderful part. A day or two ago the pond was drained, and » number of boys in the vicinity went in with gigs and nets to catch the fish ; but imagine their sarprise when they found a large snapping turtle weur- 1ng the cufis 1n the n.ost approved col- lege style. In consideration for his intelligence the snapper was allowed to pursue his course in civilization, and as soon as the school convenes a cane and spectacles will be dropped for his ben- efit.” “Ob-h-h I” — Minneapolis Tribune, A Great Painters Queer Mistake. Ata fine art exhibition David, the French painter, stood among a crowd of persons who were admiring one of his best paintings. One of the crowd, whose dress bespoke a cab driver, gave manifesy signs of contempt. “I perceive that you don’t seem to care fur the picture ?'" said the great ar- tist. “Not a bit I” “Still everybody stops to look at it.” “There's little need to. What an ass the painter mast be tv make a horse with his mouth all covered with foam, und yet the animal has no bit.” David said nothing, but when the exhibition was closed for the day he painted out the foam.—ZLondon Tid Bits, Nor Quaririep.—They were can- vassing the chances of the candidates been napping in his chair behind stove arose and said : “Thaz all rize, but I know of one man who can’t be "lected nohow.” “Who's that ?” asked several voices in chorus. ! “Thaz Mr. = “But why ?”’ ‘Cause he ain't qualified fr. ‘er po- sishun.” : “What! Why he has a fine educa- tion.” “Makes no diff’rence-”’ ““He’s a worker.” “Can’t help zhat.” “And everybody likes him.” “But he isn’t qual'fied ?”’ “ Wherein isn’t he qualified ?”’ ‘Rize here. I met him on the street two hours ago an’ he didn’t ask me to have ‘er drink. Can’t be lected I shay. "Merica® people have no confidence in such a feiier as zhat.”’— Detroit Gree Press. the ——What we neel is not reforms in methods and forms so much asa change in social tendencies. Let the influences which are concentrating wealth at the cost of ignorance and poverty among | the masses be checked and the funda- mental intention of republican institu- tions will assert itself. Let them keep on and the misgovernment of Ameri- can cities will be among the least of the evils that follow. ——Noble works ought not to be printed in mean and worthless forms. and cheapness ought to be limited by an instinctive sense and law of fitness. The binding of u book is the dress with which it walks out into the ‘world. The paper, type and ink are the body in which its soul is domiciled, And these three—soal and body and ha bili- ment—are a trio which ought to be ad- justed to one another by the laws of harmony and good sense. a SI All this rush to the cities, by cut- ting down the ranks of the food pro- ducers, is bound, sovner or later to give the raising of furtt products a tremcna duous boom. When Horace Greely used to go about leciuing to the farm- ers he told them the best thing thoy 1eould do was to set out shade trees, He thought he knew something about tarming, but the millionaire railroad president goes far shesd of aim ou prac- tical points. LN £538 4 ATS TETRA -———The newspapers are again speculating on the pro! that the Mormons will selves to- gether, bag and bagoare, and go to Mexico. As there is no danger that their morals will have an injurious ef fect on the natives of that sun baked I1nd, it is to be hoped thar they will go hance without delay if they can teach the Mexicuus industry their going will be a good thing all aronnd, —