Bellefonte, Pa., October 24, 1890
“AS I SHELLED THE PEAS.”
Over and overa little song
Sung in my heart the whole day long;
No matter what task to my lotdid fall,
The song made music amid it all :
I washed the tea-cups, I kneeded the bread—
“My Love loves me !” in my ear was said :
“True love is better than wealth or ease !”
Was whispered to me, as I shelled the peas.
And as I made custard or baked the cake,
A voice kept saying—For sweet love's sake 1”
And when the table I set for four,
Again I heard it o'er and o’er—
“True love is better than wealth or ease,
True leve rejoices in tasks like these!”
’
The oleck on the wall, with its pleasant song
Ticked away, though the hours were long :
At lest it was time for my loved ones three,
To gather around the board with me..
In came two, with a merry shout—
The children are in, but the father is out :—
I wonder if my True Love 'twould please
Teo know my thoughts as I shelled the peas.
A hand is heard on the outer doer,
A well-known step comes over ¢he floor,
And my darling is here though no longer
young.
aq ROR adh that the tune was sung,
For love in iis loved one true beauty sees,
When a stranger eye might see naught to
please.
The merry children make mirth for all,
While the mothersmiles and the father tall,
Bends low to whisper a loving word,
That by no ear but her own is heard—
“Sweetheart, what viands could taste like these
With love, I'm sure you have flavored the
peas!
So over and over, the whole day long,
Sung, in my heart, the little song,
“What matters it if the house is small,
If Love finds shelter withiu its wall ?
Naught else I crave but my Love to please,
Though humble my task, as I shell the peas!
COMBING THE COLONEL,
There was a great political ferment
in Simpson county, Ky. over the ap-
Poaching election of a county Judge.
he nominating convention was to
meet on Saturday, and on Friday night
two well known politicians,caught in a
rain storm, stopped at the house of old
John Perdue. The politicians, Maj.
Bloodgood and Col. Noix, were sly
candidates for the coveted position—so
sly, in fact, that neither knew of the
schemes of the other.
After supper, while old John and his
guests were sitting on the porch talk-
ing over the coming s‘ruggle and listen-
ing to a wet katydid that held vesper
services in a locust tree, old John, get-
ting up and Stretching himself, said to
the major :
“Let me see you a moment, please.”
The major followed him to the end
of the gallery. “Major,” old John
whispered, “I am compelled to tell you
something. You gentlemen are wel-
come to stay with me as long as you
like, but ability to accommodate can-
not always be measured by willingness
to do so. The trath is I havn't but
one spare bed.”
“But can’t the colonel and I sleep to-
gether ?’ the major rejoined.
“Yes, youcan, but the truth is the
colonel is awfully peculiar.”
“How sa.” :
“Well, as rational as he appears
while stirring about, he's a strange
man in bed. «Our families, you know,
are well aoguaiuted, and I therefore
know all about him. His peculiarity
comes from a-scare he recieved when
a child. It seems that a dog once
tried to bite him, and now, just before
he dozes off'to sleep, he begins to growl
and unless something is done to stop
Lim he begins to bite fearfully.”
“Humpk” the major grunted, “that
is odd, but what can be done to stop
him after he begins to growl 7’
“Well, his brother told me how he
used to work it. He always took a
coarse comb to bed with him and would
rake the colonel with it when he be
gan to growl. As strange as it may
seem, it was the only thing that would
quiet him. The family doctor said |
that a comb was somehow the only |
thing that would start the blood to eir- |
culating.”
That's very odd. And would it quiet
him ?”
“Would make him act just like a lamd.
Why, he uster insist that his brother
should take the comb to bed with
him. He doa’t like to have any one
mention the freakish misfortune, as he
always terms it, but it-would be doing
him a great favar if you would take the
comb to bed with you and give him a
rake in case he should begin to growl.
I am telling you this because I am
your friend, and because I know that
you are good timber, and especially be-
cause I hope that you may secure his
influence if you should ever desire any
office. Don’t youknow that we always
respect the ian that understands our
peculiarities before we are asked to ex-
plain them to him? He is sensitive
that way, and if he sees that you un-
derstand him he will then, know that
you have had your eye on him, have
held him in your mied.”
“All right. You get me the comb,
and I will go througk with the cere
mony when the tine eames.”
“Here's one, put it in your pocket.”
They returned to the colonel, and af-
ter a while, when the major stepped in-
to the house to geta drink of water,
the old man said :
“You and the major are good friends,
I am glad to see.”
“Yes,” replied the colonel, “I think
he is a first rate fellow.”
“Glad you like him, for you and he
will have to sleep together to-night, for
the fact is I have only one spare bed.”
“That will be all right, I reckon,”
said the colonel.
“Yes, but the truth is the major is
the most peculiar fellow you ever saw.”
“In what way ?”
“As a bedfellow. I am very inti-
mate with his family and know all
about him. Itseems that he had a
nervous trouble when he was a boy, and
could not go to sleep until some one
growled like a dog. I have known
him to lie tossing in bed for hours at a
time, and then when I would go to his
bed and growl he would doze off like
a lamb.”
“I never before heard of an affliction
go strange.” said the colonel,
“I either, but then it is a very easy
matter to relieve him. He and a fel-
low named Buck Johnson were once
opposing candidates for prosecuting at-
torney. Well, they had to sleep to-
gether one night. Buck knew of his
peculiar affliction, and shortly after
they went to bed Buck began to growl.
The major didn’t say any thing that
night, but next day he withdrew from
| the race declaring that he would not
run against so good a man as Buck.”
“You don’t say so!” exclaimed the
colonel.
“Yes, I do, and know it to be a fact.
I would advise you to humor him in
the same way.”
“I'll do so.”
“Hush, he’s coming back."
“We ars going to bave more rain I
think,” said the major, as he resumed
his seat.
“Yes,” the colonel responded, ‘but I
hope that it will not interfere with the
convention. If the attendance is large
and the proceedings harmonious, the
result will be of great benefit to the
country.”
“Who do you think will be nomina-
ted for judge?” old John asked.
“Neither of the candidates that have
been named. We have better timber
than any of those fellers.”
“Well,” said the major, yawning, “I
reckon we better go to bed, so as to be
in trim for the work to-morrow.”
“I will show you the room,” the old
man remarked, arising.
The politicians were shown into an
upper room, and the old man, placing
a candle on the mantlepiece, bade them
good-night and went do'vn stairs.
“What noise was that?’ the major
asked when the old man had quitted
the room.
“I didn’t hear any noise,” the colo-
fiel answered.
“I did; it sounded like some one
gasping for breath.”
He might have heard a noise—might
haveheard old John struggle to sup-
press his laughter.
“Suppose we go to bed,” said the
major.
“All right. You go ahead and I
will blow out the candle.”
They talked for some time before ly-
ing down ; then, after a long silence,
the colonel uttered a deep growl. The
major reached over and gave him a
rake with the comb.
“What the deuce are you doing ?”’ ex-
claimed the colonel, springing up in
ved. “What do you mean?’ And in
his rage he began to grate his teeth.
The major, supposing that he was
getting ready to begin biting, reached
over and gave him another rake.
“You infernal idiot!” yelled the
colonel, feeling for the major’s hair,
“if I don’t wool you I'm a shote !”
“What are you doing?’ howled the
major. “Let go, or I'll hurt you! Quit,
Ltell you! Haven't you got any sense?”
I'he colone had found his hair.l
“I'll let you know what it is to rake
the life out of me with acrosscut saw.”
“I was doing it to oblige you, you
confounded wolf! Letgomy hair!”
“Oblige me! Do you take me for a
saw log? Look out! Ifyou hit me
again I'll pull every hair out of your
head!”
They tumbled out onthe floor, rolled
over and over, and then overturned a
tottering old wardrobe that came down
upon them with a crash. The major
swore that he was dead, and the colo-
nel yelled for a light, but no light came.
Had they listened they might have
heard another noise that sounded as if
some one were breathing hard. The
old man was in the hall shaking the
railing of the stairway with lavghter.
The major was the first to scramble to
his feet.
“I will throw you ont of this win-
dow !”” he exclaimed.
“And if I can find my pistol I'll shoot
the top of your head off!” howled the
colonel.
This threat so frightened the major
that he gathered up his clothes as best
he could and rushed from the room.
“Why, what's the matter ?”’ the old
man asked when the major came down.
“Nothing, only I am going away to
get a cannon and then come back and
blow that fool into eternity.”
“Did he try to bite you ?”
“He tried to kill me, that's what he
tried to da.” '
“Why didn’t you rake him 2”
“I did rake him.”
“Humph!” grunted the old mang;
“he must have lost his peculiarity.
What, you are not going out in such a
night as this?”
“Yes, I am, for if I see that fool
again I'll have to cut his throat. Good-
by.”
Shortly after the major left, the colo-
nel came down. “Why, look here,”
caid he; “I growled just as you told
me to do, and I wish I may die if that
fellow didn’t come within one of rip-
ping my life out of me.”
“Mighty sorry to hear it. He must
have ehanged since I know'd him so
well.”
When the convention met next day
the major and the eolonel fought each
other so violently that neither of them
could win, and at an opportune time,
old John Perdue stepped in and receiv.
ed the nomination.—QOpie P. Read in
New Yorke World.
Accountep For.—“How do you like
your new minister, Cora?’ asked her
father.
“Oh, he’s just splendid. He draws
twice as large congregations as the Rev.
Mr. Oldwun, whom he suceeeds.”
“I suppose he is much more eloquent
and impressive than Mr. Oldwun.”
“N-no. He is rather an ordinary and.
tiresome speaker, but he’s young, hand-
some and unmarried.”
“Oh, yes, I understand,” said her
father. “The increase in the congrega-
tion is made up wholly of young wo-
men.” — Norristown Herald.
et —————————————————
KiNp-HEARTED BRIDGET. —Cooking
School Girl—Bridget, what did you do
with that cake I baked yesterday ? Mr.
Finefello is here, and I want to give
him some. o
Bridget—Wull, mum, I’ll get it fur
yeif ye say so ; but sure it isn’t me wud
be discooragin’ a noice young mon like
that.— New York Weekly.
His Cougregation Never Deserted Him.
A clergyman was lamenting the fact
that his congregation appeared to be
restless during his sermons, and de-
clared that many of the members of his
fiock would get up right at a time when
he fancied bimself most impressive and
would leave the house.
“That's bad,” answered a young
preacher, “but I must say that I do not
experience any such annoyance. Not a
single member of my congregation gets
up and goes out during services.”
“You don’t say so I’ the first speaker |-
exclaimed. “How do you manage it ?’’
“I don’t manage it at all—seems to
manage itself,”
“Don’t they complain when you
preach a long sermon ?”’
“No, I’ve never heard a word of com-
plaint.”
“That is indeed singular. Your peo-
le must have been exceptionally well
rought up.”
“No I think not.”
“Then you must be one of the most
eloquent of men. What is the style of
your preaching ?”’
“Oh, rather dry, I am compelled to
admit. I do not possess the faculty of
drawing an interesting illustration or of
throwing 01t a bright idea.”
“Well, well. 1 have never heard of
anything so wonderful. And you tell
me that no one ever gets up and goes
out ?”’
“Yes, that’s what I tell you.”
“Well, I don’t understand it at all.”
“Oh, itis easy enough to explain. I
am chaplain at the penitentiary.”’—
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Humoring a Stranger,
London City Press.
A stock broker who was on his way to
the city observed that one of his fellow
passengers in the ’bus was closely re-
garding him, and after a time the man
leaned over and asked : “Didn't I see
you in Liverpool in 1879 ?”
The broker wasn’t in Liverpool that
year, but, thinking to humor the strang-
er he replied in the affirmative.
#Don’t you remember handing a poor
shivering wretch a half crown one night
outside the Royal Hotel ?”
“J do.”
“Well, I'm the chap. I was hard up,
out of work, and about to commit sui-
cide. That money madea new man of
me. By one lucky spec and another I
am now worth £5,000.
“Ah, glad to hear it.”
“And now I want you to take a sov-
erigne in place of that half crown. I
cannot feel easy until the debt is
paid.”
The broker protested and objected,
but finallv just to humor the man, he
took the £5 note offered him, and re-
turned the £4 change. The stranger
soon left the 'bus and everything might
have ended then and there if the broker,
on reaching the office, hadn’t ascertain-
ed that the “fiver” was a counterfeit,
and he was £4 out of pocket,
Coal Washing.
A coal washing plant has been
erected at a colliery in Yorkshire, Eng.,
The plant has a capacity of 400 tons per
day, but bas dealt with five hunhred
tons by the wet process. The system
adopted is carefully sizing the smudge
and automatically washing and rewash-
ing after crushing the various sizes.
The plant is driven by a 100 hose pow-
er steam engine, and the water used in
the process of washing is circulated by
means of a powerful centrifugal pump,
which, when in full work, circulates
nearly five tons of water per minute.
The object in erecting this plant was
to produce a high class coke out of a
mixture of very dirty hard and soft
smudge. The coke produced is of uni-
form quality, and the ash in the coke is
steadily kept below 4 per cent. Besides
the preparation of the smudge for the
coke ovens a quantity of small peat,
suitable for fuel, is produced by the
washer.— New York Commercial Adver-
tiser.
Bumble Bee Eggs.
A good story of General Rusk, the
present Secretary of Agriculture, is told
by the Ohio Farmer. Always a prac-
tical farmer, Gen. Rusk, while Governor
of Wisconsin, took great interest in
farmers’ iuststutes, which he often at-
tended and addressed. On one occasion
with his favorite topic, clover, he dis-
coursed at length on the importance of
growing clover seed, and explained how
the Australian farmers had been unable
to grow clover seed until they imported
bumble-bees to fertilize the blossoms.
After the meeting two old farmers were
discussing the Governor's farming ideas.
“Well,” said one, “if Uncle Jerry says
it’s so it must be so, but I'll be hanged
if anyoné else could have made me be-
lieve that clover seed was nothing but
bumble bees’ eggs.” The speaker's too
vivid attempt to make his hearers real-
ize the importance of the bumble-bee in
securing elover seed had evidently been
wrongly interpreted.
In the province of Perm, in Rus-
sia, there hasjust passed away a re-
markable person, Stefen Aberjew by
name, in his one hundred and tenth
vear. The village priest, who has known
the old man for the last thirty years;
states that he had neverseen him sober
since his eightieth birthday. Toward
the end of his life he drank over a quart
of corn brandy a day. He was never
illin his life.
————
——1If hanging is brutal and electro-
cation unpleasant to the spectators, if
not to the victim, modern genius ought
to be equal to the invention ot some
process of extinction that will be mutu-
ally satisfactory to the public the mortu-
ary candidate. Perhaps it might be left
optional with the party to be worked off
as to the method. An overdose of chlo-
ral does frequent and effective service.
another might prefer to be filled with
laughing gas and laugh himself to death.
A UNPLEASANT REMINDER. —Single-
ton (singing)—Oh, there's music in the
air, music
Benedict—Please don’t sing that. It’s
an unpleasant reminder.
“Of what ?”
“Of how my two-year-old heir howls
when he wakes up at night.”’— Lawrence
American,
‘and there.”
FLOWER OR WEEDS,
Upon the grave of him who dies
In Wales they piaut some flower, intended
By nature or hue, to symbolize
The life that now on earth is ended.
So, does a maiden diz unwed,
f blameless deeds and fame unspotted,
Her history is clearly read
In the white rose to her allotted.
Or, is it one whose every day
Was full of love’s unselfish labors,
The red rose does his life portray,
Placed on his grave by grateful neighbors.
And sometimes, though but seldom 80,
For man is everywhere forgiving.
Are worthless weeds allowed to grow,
Their tale to tell and warn the living.
Ah, reader, scanning now these lines,
What would men plant—thy past disclosing
Thus through such sure though simple signs-
Where thou shalt lie so soon reposing ?
Viek’s Magazine.
————
A Surprised Man.
On a recent evening, while Scklitz
park was crowded with people, an amu-
sing incident happened. A rather
tough looking individual and his girl
were sitting on a bench, when a quiet
inoffensive appearing man came stroll-
ing along and accidentally tripped over
the tough man’s feet. Strange enough,
the clumsy one did not even ask to be
excused by the other, but went on to ar=
other bench and sat down and rite'ed his
gaze upon the fountain.
“Dat’s what I call nerve I” said the
tough man, in a rather loud voice so
that the admirer of the fountain could
hear him,but the latter never looked up.
“Must be a regular jay I” ventured
the girl.
“A man who haint got de politenass
to eay excuse me, when he steps on a
gentleman ought to be thumped on de
neck I” exclaimed the injured one, as he
scowled at the other.
“Yes,” said the girl, “and I'm ’spri-
sed that ye didn’t resent the insult then
Still there was no sign of life from
the man by the fountain although the
above conversation was carried on in
so loud a tone that people way beyond
were getting interested
“I’ve a good notion to jest soak him
one on the jaw for luck,,” said the tough
man as he rolled up his sleeves.
“It was a dead insult,an’ no mistake,’
said the girl.
“Guess I'll jest feel of him once for
fun,” and with this the tough man
strode over to the side of the man at the
fountain.
“Say !”’ said he as he came up beside
the object of his anger.
“D’ye think its gentlemanly ter walk
all over a total stranger and without as
much as saying ‘excuse ?”
Still no answer.
“Well, if you hain’t the biggest
chump 1 ever saw, I'm a goat.”
Dead. silence.
“All right, me lad, I'll teach yer to
insult a gentleman,” an so saying, he
hauled off and lammed the poor fellow
one on the ear. The picture of surprise
on the man’s face as he picked himself
up off of the gravel walk was laughable
in the extreme, but there was a glitter
in his eye that looked bad. Without a
word he squared off and the way he
sailed into the tough man was a caution,
but the climax was capped when the
latter was lifted bodily and soused in
the basin of the fountain.
Later on it was discovered that the
quiet man was a mute, which accounted
for his silence, but it didn’t seem to in-
terfere with his powers as a scrapper in
the least.
A Tree That Owns Property.
There is a tree at Athens, Ga., which
is a property holder. In the early part
of the century the land on which it
stands was ownad bo Col. W. H. Jack-
son, who took great delight watching its
growth and enjoying its shade. In his
old age the tree had grown tosuch mag-
nificent proportions and the thought of
1ts being destroyed by those who would
come after him was so repugnant that
he record: d a deed, of which the follow-
ing isa part; “I, W. H. Jackson, of
the county of Clarke, of the one part,
and the oak tree (giving location), of the
county of Clarke, ot the other part :
Witnesseth, that the said W. H. Jack-
son, for and in consideration of the great
affection which he bears said tree, and
hls desire to see it protected, has con-
veyed and by these presents do convey
unto the said oak tree entire possession
of itself and of all land within eight feet
of it on all sides.” — Chicago Herald.
Tuey Hap Mer Berore.— “Now,
sir,”’ began the attorney for the defense,
knitting his brows and preparing to an-
nihilate the witness whom he was about
to cross-examine, ‘‘you say your name
is Williams. Can you prove that to be
your real name | Is there anybody in
the court room who can swear that you
haven’t assumed it for purposes of fraud
and deceit ?”’
“I think you can identify me your-
self,” answered the witness.
“I? Where did I ever see you before,
my friend ?”
“I put the scar over your right eye
twenty-five years ago when you were
stealing peaches out of father’s orchard.
I'm the same Williams.”
——Matilda Jane—Thomas Jefferson,
I’se s’prised to heah ob youah impolite-
ness. Sister Aon says she drapped her
hankerchief at de bali de udder ebening
an’ you nebber offered to pick it up.
Thomas Jefferson—An’, Matilda Jane,
you wouldn’t nuther, if you’d seed dat
hankerchief.
—
——It is Stated that the cabbage crop
in Pennsylvania, Ohio and some other
States is exceedingly large this year.
Thus does kindly Nature compensate
smokers for the enormous increase in the
cost of Sumatr tobacco caused by the
naw tariff.— Record.
Da ———————————————
STILL IN THE RING.—-“So you were a
soldier ? Did you go clear through the
rebellion ?
“No. I married during the war and
have not got through the rebellion yet.”
——When a person becomes too good
to overlook the faults of the unfortunate |
then it is that he makes the error which |
loses to him the glory of his goodness.
Mr, Jay Gould thinks the new
tariff rathera fine thing, No wonder,
Before we had war tariffs we had no
Jay Goulds.— Record
Undesirable Immigration.
The annual immigration of nearly |
half a million of people who have no
knowledge of our language, no concep-
tion of our government no traditions or
habits of free institutions, no general
intelligence, ability, or skill, and who
came because they cannot hold their |
own elsewhere, is certainly one of the
most important of public questions. |
But it is the one ,which receives the
least attention, because parties and
Congress are mortally afraid of alienat-
ing the support of the most unintelli-
gent vote in the country if they ask
whether it is expedient to foster its in-
crease. The immigration during the
year ending June 30, 1890,, amounted |
to 451,219, an increase of 12,6000 over
that of the preceding year, when the
numbers were 438,619. The Chicago
America has been looking at the de-
tails, and finds that while this was the
increase of the whole year, that of the
first six months of this year was 24,-
536 more than that of corresponding
months of last year. This is not in it-
self an agreeable fact, because the de
sirability of immigration lies in the
quality not in the quantity.
But it appears that the whole nec
increase is of the most undesirable
kind. Theimmigration from Germany,
England and Wales, Scotland, Ireland,
the Netherlands, Sweden and Norway,
and Switzerland has fallen off this
year by 47,931, while that from Aus-
tro-Hungary, Denmark, France, Italy,
Poland, Russia, and all other countries
has increased by 60,531. While the
decrease of the better kind of immi-
grants is nearly 50,000, it is more than
made up by the increase of the worse
kind. Snch ‘a vast and continuous
augmentation of the population by
those who are in every way alien to
American life and character and insti-
tutions is in no sense a benefit to the
country. It taxes unreasonably its
power of proper assimilation. The
movement of our population is toward
the cities, and the cities are ceasing to
be distinctively American. We are no
longer the rural republic of our fathers,
and the conditions which made such a
republic the harbinger of a better fu-
ture for mankind are changing. Such
facts, with the situation in parts of the
Southern States due to the war, are
among the circumstances which make
the problems of American statesman-
ship exceedihgly interesting.
A Prize or $100,000.--Is a good
thing to get, and the man who wins it
by superior skill, or by an unexpected
turn of Fortune’s wheel, is to be congra-
tulated. But he who escapes from the
clutches of that dread monster, Con-
sumption, and wins back the health and
happiness, is far more fortunate. The
chances of winning $100,000 are small,
but every consumptive may be absolute-
ly sure of recovery, if he takes Dr.
Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovefy in !
time. For all scrofulous disease (con-
sumption is one of them,) it is an unfail-
ing remedy. It is guaranteed to cure in
all cases of diseases for which it isre
commended, or money refunded.
re ———
——“How divine a thing a woman
may be made,” when her cold is cured
by Dr. Bull’s Cough Syrup.
“Mother, can I go out to fish 2”
No, no, my little sonny,
You know you've got a swollen foot,
My precious little honey.”
But they got a bottle of Salvation Oil,
and he went and caught an eel, and
ate it like a man.
——The largest corpse ever convey- |
ed to a grave in Missouri was, perhaps,
that of the negress knowm as Big
Jude, buried recently in New Madrid.
The coffin was 36 inches broad, 6 feet
long and 36 inches deep. She weighed
750 pounds. It required the strength
of sixteen pallbearers to place her in-
to the grave.
you to say that your charge for services
would be light,” complained the client
when the solicitor handed him a big bill
“I believe I'did say my fee would be
nominal,” was the lawyer's reply, ‘but
——¢ “Oh, I see,” hastily interrupted
the client, “you meant phenomenal.” —
Chatter.
A MEMORY ATD.—Goodfello—Here’s
your health, old fellow. By the way,
what is that knot in your hankerchief
for ?
Jollifello—~Hem !| That is to remind
me that I’ve sworn off.
Goodfello--But you just this minute
took a drink.
Jollifello—Y-a-s. Fact is I never see
the knot till I take out my handkerchief
to wipe my mouth.— New York Weekly,
——A colored man made a reputa-
tion as a steeple-chaser the other day on
the farm of Captain F. W. Greer, on
White's Creek Tenn. A fox that had
been captured in a trap was turned
loose in the face of a pack of hounds and
a body of horsemen for a chase. The
negro joined in the chase and actually
outstripped both horses and dogs, and
captured the fox alive with his hands.
ec ses
William Hoffman, of Sebewaing,
has four pigs that beat anything ever
seen in that locality. One has no trace
of hind legs, another has no hoofs, but
claws take the place of the generally
thought necessary porcine appendix,
and the two others have claws and toes
and pretty nearly everything else that
pigs can very handily get along with-
out.
——Oyer 45,000 American tourists
! are said to have arrived home from Eu-
rope since the lst gof August. The
pleasure of crossing the threshold of
own home after having'been abroadone’s
far exceeds any joy experienced while
absent.
Mape Him Stok. —¢“ What's the mat-
ter with Jimpson that he has taken to
his bed ?”
‘‘His wife persisted yesterday in read-
' ing some old love letters he sent her be-
fore marriage.”
——4To h—1 with the Constitution,”
is in effect, the Republican battle ery |
under Quay and Delamater.
Once Was Enough.
A young gentleman who lately left
' his home in England, having exhausted
[ his credit, telegraphed to his parents
“Your son was killed this morning
by a falling chimney. What shall we
do with the remains ?”’
In reply acheck was sent for £20,
| with the request ‘bury them.” The
| young gentleman pocketed the money
| and had an elaborate spree. When in
| a condition for writing he sent his fath-
| er the following note :
“I have just learned that an infamous
scoundrel named Baker sent you a ficti-
| tious account of my death and swindled
| youout of £20. He also borrowed £10
of me and left the country. I write to
inform you that I am sti. alive, and
| long to see the parental roof again. I
am in somewhat reduced circumstances,
the accumulations of the last five years
having been lost—-a disastrous stock
operation—and if you would only spare
‘me £20 I would be very thankful for
your favor. Give my love to all.”
| A few days later the young man re-
ceived the following dignified letter
{ from his outraged parent :
“My DEAR Sox :—1I have buried you
| once and that is the end ofit. I de
‘cline to have any transactions with a
ghost. Yours in the flesh.
FATHER.”
ts meen em meee
Wild Animals in Connecticut.
Otters and minks were very scare in
| Connecticut a dozen years ago, and it
| was feared that the animals might be-
come extinct, for their hides were worth
from $5 to $10 apiece, and everybody
hunted them. Then suddenly fashion
changed her mind about the value of
mink and otter skins, the price went
down and now the animals abound in
the state again, So numerous have
minks become there that they are get-
ting to be quite familar with country
people. Recently a mink, frightened by
a sharp thunder storm, fled out of a
meadow, rushed into a farmer's dwell:
ing, and raced from room troom until a
hound caught him upstairs in a cham-
ber.
A still more remarkable incident oc-
curred in Hartford afew days ago. A
mink trotted right into the heart of the
city, among throngs of people on the
streets, and passed all kinds of dogs with
impunity, and finally made his way into
the back yard of a big store on Asylum
street. In the yard men cornered
him and tried to capture him alive,
but he fought so desperately that
they had to kill him,—Priladelphia
Ledger.
The Deadly Cold Bed.
If trustworthy statistics could be had
of the number of persons who die every
year or become prematurely diseased
trom sleeplng in cold or damp beds they
would probably be astonishing and ap-
palling, says G'ood Housekeeping. It is
| a peril that, constantly besets traveling
| men, and if they are wise they will in-
i variably irsiston having their beds air-
ed and dried, even at the risk of causing
much trouoie to their landlords. But
the peril resides in the house and the
cold ‘spare room’ has slain its thous-
ands of hapless guests, and will go .on
with its slaughter till people learn wis-
dom. Not only the guests but the fam-
ily suffer the penalty of sleeping in cold
rooms and chilling their bodies at a time
when they need all of their bodily heat,
by getting between two cold sheets.
Even in warm jsummer weather a cold,
damp bed will get in its deadly work.
It is a needless peril, and the neglect to
provide dry rooms and beds has an ele-
ment of murder and suicide.
——The constant clicking * which
comes from some horses when traveling
is due, us all ho:sem-n know, o striking
or touching of the forward foot with the
hind one, Such animals are what fac-
riers term unevenly ballanced, and are
generally heavier in the tore than in the
hind quarters. A shoer who is master
of his art can remedy the difficulty, but
it would be a difficult matter to lay down
any rule for shoing that would ‘accom-
plish the result in all cases, or even in a
majority of them. The remedy suggest-
ed by Russell in “Scientific Horseshoe-
ing” is to pare the fore feet level and
shorten them well at thetoes. then
apply 12-ounce shoes, which are beveled
at the heels, so as to cover as litttle
ground as possible. This will serve to
quicken the action in front. In treat-
ing the hind feet they are also to be
pared level and straight.
TuE ORIGIN OF CORN A MYSTERY .—
This wonderful product, which has con-
ferred such substantil benefits on the
world, strange to say, is of unknown
oringin , its genesis is wrappedin a mys-
tery, or at least not definitely fixed. A
writer says : ‘Like wheat and barley,
its origin is lost in the twilight of an-
tiguity.” It was first cultvated in the
Unithed States, however, by the Eng-
lish, on James river, Virginia, in 1608,
the seed being obtained trom Indians,
who claimed to be the first discoverers of
the plant--receiving it direct from the
hands’of the Creator.
—— William Howard, under sentence
of death’ for murder, escaped from the
jail in Greeneville, South Carolina, the
otherday. Howard’s wife was allowed to
spend ‘the night in the cell with her
husband. In the morning Howard,
dressed in his wife's clothing, came
down the stairs of the jail with an infant
in his arms, and, leaving the baby at a
relative’s house, he fled before the jailer
had discovered the trick that had been
played on him. Mrs. Howard, who
is a buxom mountain girl of 17 years,
now occupies the cell vacated by her
husband.
——1T¢t is a singular fact that the great
men seldom leave descendants. Napo-
lean, Wellington, Washington all prove
this rule Shakespeare left only two
daughters, whose children died without
issue. Probably the nearest relative to
the great poet now living is one Thom-
as Hart, a resident of Australia, who is
said to be the eighth in descent from
Shakespeare's sister Joan, Walter Scott's
line ended with the second generation.
——About seventy per cent. of the
students at Georgia's State University
are poor boys who are in their places
through rigid economy practiced at
" home. !